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00:00:01 --> 00:00:04 hello hello hello everybody Welcome to
00:00:04 --> 00:00:09 the birthing room episode 12 I am Dr
00:00:09 --> 00:00:11 Lina Whitehead and I'm super excited
00:00:11 --> 00:00:14 about my guest today y'all oh my
00:00:14 --> 00:00:16 goodness I'm so excited can wa to jump
00:00:16 --> 00:00:18 into the conversation but you know how
00:00:18 --> 00:00:21 we do we have to get our business first
00:00:21 --> 00:00:24 out the way so I want to thank you all
00:00:24 --> 00:00:26 that are tuning in on YouTube that are
00:00:26 --> 00:00:30 watching on uh all uh podcast platforms
00:00:30 --> 00:00:32 you can watch us on all platforms you
00:00:32 --> 00:00:34 want to see our beautiful faces run over
00:00:34 --> 00:00:37 to YouTube and subscribe to my Channel
00:00:37 --> 00:00:40 at Lorina Whitehead the birthing room
00:00:40 --> 00:00:42 and thanks for tuning in to the birthing
00:00:42 --> 00:00:44 room don't forget that you can also
00:00:44 --> 00:00:47 listen to the auto version in your car
00:00:47 --> 00:00:48 with your friends share it with your
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00:00:51 --> 00:00:53 hosted also on the
00:00:53 --> 00:00:56 nbg podcast Network be sure to subscribe
00:00:56 --> 00:00:59 and never miss an episode we've gotten
00:00:59 --> 00:01:01 that out the way now we can go ahead and
00:01:01 --> 00:01:02 get down to business so let's get into
00:01:02 --> 00:01:09 the
00:01:09 --> 00:01:13 water okay okay I'm super excited today
00:01:13 --> 00:01:17 I have my friend I call her I never call
00:01:17 --> 00:01:19 you Nicole I always call you Inga yes
00:01:19 --> 00:01:23 Ina so I call her Inga and um I know
00:01:23 --> 00:01:26 it's isn't Inga Nicole yes this is my
00:01:26 --> 00:01:28 stage name we're gonna call it Inga
00:01:28 --> 00:01:30 Nicole okay her stage name I always call
00:01:30 --> 00:01:32 her Inga and I'm super excited let me
00:01:32 --> 00:01:34 tell y why I invited Inga on y know I
00:01:34 --> 00:01:36 always do this I always give my reason
00:01:36 --> 00:01:37 why I invite guests on I think it's
00:01:37 --> 00:01:39 really important to be intentional and
00:01:39 --> 00:01:41 I'm real transactional Inga in this
00:01:41 --> 00:01:43 season people don't want to say that but
00:01:43 --> 00:01:45 I like to make sure that I'm getting a
00:01:45 --> 00:01:48 return out of my friendships in my
00:01:48 --> 00:01:49 relationships absolutely because you
00:01:49 --> 00:01:51 know sometimes it's one-sided and next
00:01:51 --> 00:01:53 thing you know you you done pour it out
00:01:53 --> 00:01:55 and you had nothing by pouring back okay
00:01:55 --> 00:01:58 so Ina has poured in since the first day
00:01:58 --> 00:02:02 okay I met in through a friend and she
00:02:02 --> 00:02:04 was a bad chick then like you know
00:02:04 --> 00:02:07 beautiful home hair was always beautiful
00:02:07 --> 00:02:09 yes had that money was traveling here
00:02:09 --> 00:02:11 and there everything looked so wonderful
00:02:11 --> 00:02:15 on the outside looking at her life and
00:02:15 --> 00:02:16 then there's some things that happened
00:02:16 --> 00:02:18 I'm like oh I would have never known and
00:02:18 --> 00:02:20 I remember like she I think even gave me
00:02:20 --> 00:02:22 a wig I was like oh you had a lace front
00:02:22 --> 00:02:24 wig that's when lace front first came
00:02:24 --> 00:02:26 out y'all she was always so giving and
00:02:26 --> 00:02:29 just so loving and caring so I'm excited
00:02:29 --> 00:02:30 to have this
00:02:30 --> 00:02:33 conversation talk about your testimony
00:02:33 --> 00:02:34 and your life and I'm so grateful that
00:02:34 --> 00:02:37 you're open to share and let me tell you
00:02:37 --> 00:02:40 she is just totally bossed up and
00:02:40 --> 00:02:42 definitely someone that I look up to I
00:02:42 --> 00:02:46 admire she's never gatee keeps which I I
00:02:47 --> 00:02:48 don't know why black women we have to
00:02:48 --> 00:02:51 gatekeep and we don't want to share her
00:02:51 --> 00:02:54 whole brand in life is all about being
00:02:54 --> 00:02:57 able to give and to pour out to others
00:02:57 --> 00:02:59 and we all know how blessed you are when
00:03:00 --> 00:03:02 you are willing to give we all learn
00:03:02 --> 00:03:05 that yes all learn that if you pour out
00:03:05 --> 00:03:07 God can pour back in so we're going to
00:03:07 --> 00:03:09 hear her testimonies I'm with no further
00:03:09 --> 00:03:12 Ado go ahead and introduce yourself or
00:03:12 --> 00:03:13 say and The Crowd Goes
00:03:13 --> 00:03:16 W so honestly but my name is in Nicole
00:03:16 --> 00:03:20 Lori for the crazy part about it is that
00:03:20 --> 00:03:22 Inga are you g are you gonna call me
00:03:22 --> 00:03:24 Lori on the podcast you gonna call me L
00:03:24 --> 00:03:25 I'm not going to call you Lori okay let
00:03:25 --> 00:03:27 me start over the crazy part about it
00:03:27 --> 00:03:29 all of my friends who knew me before I
00:03:29 --> 00:03:32 got my family call me Lori people do not
00:03:32 --> 00:03:35 call me Lori in Pap okay we we gonna
00:03:35 --> 00:03:36 come I'm gonna bring it to the
00:03:36 --> 00:03:38 transactional president Lorena yes there
00:03:38 --> 00:03:40 we go I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready
00:03:40 --> 00:03:43 ready so Lorena let me tell you
00:03:43 --> 00:03:45 something if you this is really a way
00:03:45 --> 00:03:48 back thing if you call me Inga I
00:03:48 --> 00:03:50 literally have to like stop and turn
00:03:50 --> 00:03:53 around and face you and say you know me
00:03:53 --> 00:03:56 when you call me Inga when they yes it's
00:03:56 --> 00:03:58 like oh hey you know but when you say
00:03:58 --> 00:03:59 Inga it's like a stopping your attex
00:03:59 --> 00:04:03 like I am I'm out it okay hello how are
00:04:03 --> 00:04:07 you my my my nickname yeah I'm like yeah
00:04:07 --> 00:04:11 so Inga honestly Nicole I think as a
00:04:11 --> 00:04:13 adult I became Nicole in and that's a
00:04:13 --> 00:04:15 whole conversation we can get into but
00:04:15 --> 00:04:17 Inga Nicole is my name U what do I do I
00:04:17 --> 00:04:19 don't I could start I could say a
00:04:19 --> 00:04:21 million things but what I do currently I
00:04:21 --> 00:04:23 help women entrepreneurs start grow and
00:04:23 --> 00:04:25 fund their business by giving them
00:04:25 --> 00:04:27 access to grant money um professional
00:04:27 --> 00:04:29 support personal development and
00:04:29 --> 00:04:31 business funding business credit
00:04:31 --> 00:04:32 personal credit and all of that um and
00:04:33 --> 00:04:34 I'm an entrepreneur to my heart I'm a
00:04:34 --> 00:04:37 mom I'm a we going to call it a life
00:04:37 --> 00:04:38 partner because I'm not exactly married
00:04:38 --> 00:04:41 but I be calling him a husband um but a
00:04:41 --> 00:04:44 I'm a so we'll say grandma in a way by
00:04:44 --> 00:04:48 way of because I'm still in Denio um but
00:04:48 --> 00:04:50 his kids got kids you know I'm just
00:04:50 --> 00:04:51 kidding but I'm literally a Mina I'm not
00:04:51 --> 00:04:55 a grandma but I'm a Mina oh a Mina yes
00:04:55 --> 00:04:58 yes from but um I'm a friend I'm a
00:04:58 --> 00:05:01 sister um I'm Mentor you know there so
00:05:01 --> 00:05:03 many things that I can be but honestly
00:05:03 --> 00:05:05 today I'm just a woman that has done
00:05:05 --> 00:05:07 some things and that is never going to
00:05:07 --> 00:05:08 stop until God called me to Glory I'm
00:05:08 --> 00:05:10 Gonna Keep On kicking it and doing it
00:05:10 --> 00:05:11 and helping other people do the same
00:05:11 --> 00:05:14 thing and so here I am to share and talk
00:05:14 --> 00:05:17 about my journey talk to Lorena I am
00:05:17 --> 00:05:20 gonna do my very best to keep it I'm
00:05:20 --> 00:05:22 just gonna say hey girl um but just to
00:05:22 --> 00:05:24 have this conversation and be able to be
00:05:24 --> 00:05:26 transparent and be on your platform like
00:05:26 --> 00:05:28 it is an honor for me to be here because
00:05:28 --> 00:05:30 I'm so used to talking to strangers that
00:05:30 --> 00:05:32 don't know me and so when I talk to
00:05:32 --> 00:05:35 someone like you it's probably maybe the
00:05:35 --> 00:05:37 first time truly like I've been on uh
00:05:37 --> 00:05:39 platforms of people that I know but
00:05:39 --> 00:05:41 somebody that could take me way back to
00:05:41 --> 00:05:44 my kitchen table that could pull me up
00:05:44 --> 00:05:45 you know that has pulled me up it's an
00:05:45 --> 00:05:48 incredible opportunity to be here just
00:05:48 --> 00:05:50 to be able to be myself and so I'm
00:05:50 --> 00:05:52 grateful and excited to just talk have
00:05:52 --> 00:05:55 this conversation girl talk well I'm
00:05:55 --> 00:05:57 excited because I want people to know
00:05:57 --> 00:05:58 first I want to go to where you're at I
00:05:58 --> 00:06:00 never start I never start at here I
00:06:00 --> 00:06:02 always thought what way back and come up
00:06:02 --> 00:06:05 but I think it's important um so let's
00:06:05 --> 00:06:07 just talk how many houses do you own Ina
00:06:07 --> 00:06:11 oh my gosh I know how many houses man I
00:06:11 --> 00:06:14 don't know so probably
00:06:14 --> 00:06:18 2025 okay but how many businesses do you
00:06:18 --> 00:06:21 have okay all right because I I teach it
00:06:21 --> 00:06:24 different now so right now I have one
00:06:24 --> 00:06:28 business in a half okay that I'm
00:06:28 --> 00:06:30 operating my business is Max Maximus
00:06:30 --> 00:06:32 Financial Group the wild thing is I
00:06:32 --> 00:06:35 started this business in 2002 and has
00:06:35 --> 00:06:36 transcended the time the test of all the
00:06:36 --> 00:06:38 times of being a business owner we have
00:06:39 --> 00:06:41 been wobbly I have stopped and come back
00:06:41 --> 00:06:43 and all that so Maximus Financial Group
00:06:43 --> 00:06:46 is my business but I'm always that's my
00:06:46 --> 00:06:48 work that makes me money but I'm the
00:06:48 --> 00:06:50 type of person I want to also do what I
00:06:50 --> 00:06:54 love and so my my work is financial is
00:06:54 --> 00:06:57 funding is granting but my love is women
00:06:57 --> 00:07:00 is personal development it's hair it's
00:07:00 --> 00:07:02 Beauty it's Candles now um so I have a
00:07:02 --> 00:07:04 we're going to just call it a self-care
00:07:04 --> 00:07:06 company and then my partner and I have a
00:07:06 --> 00:07:08 automotive and towing company renal cars
00:07:08 --> 00:07:10 Airbnb we're about to buy an apartment
00:07:10 --> 00:07:12 complex in Virginia so it's a lot of
00:07:12 --> 00:07:15 things but I try my best these days to
00:07:16 --> 00:07:18 be single-minded and Laser focused and
00:07:18 --> 00:07:21 and and try is like the key word right
00:07:21 --> 00:07:23 now and you just came back from is it
00:07:23 --> 00:07:25 was it Ghana where were you at you just
00:07:25 --> 00:07:28 speaking internationally yes we went to
00:07:28 --> 00:07:30 Ghana I became an international speaker
00:07:30 --> 00:07:32 um I'm I'm still cheesing like pinching
00:07:32 --> 00:07:34 myself it was a dream on my vision board
00:07:34 --> 00:07:36 and all my prayers probably for the last
00:07:36 --> 00:07:37 20 years to become an international
00:07:37 --> 00:07:39 speaker but we went to Ghana uh right
00:07:39 --> 00:07:41 after Christmas and we stayed there
00:07:41 --> 00:07:44 probably for about 10 days uh we served
00:07:44 --> 00:07:46 mission for the children uh we got to
00:07:46 --> 00:07:49 know people in the community um I I was
00:07:49 --> 00:07:51 able to see like slave castles and
00:07:51 --> 00:07:54 things that I probably learned in school
00:07:54 --> 00:07:56 but never really put it together that it
00:07:56 --> 00:07:58 was actually real outside of a book so
00:07:58 --> 00:08:00 we got to see some magnif of the world
00:08:00 --> 00:08:02 um and travel across the equator like
00:08:03 --> 00:08:04 even to be able to see the equator on
00:08:04 --> 00:08:06 the map like what I'm here I got to see
00:08:06 --> 00:08:09 The Velvet like a violet Sky it look
00:08:09 --> 00:08:12 like crush velvet sheets it was so
00:08:12 --> 00:08:14 beautiful um what else do we do oh and
00:08:14 --> 00:08:16 on on a delay now this is a definitely a
00:08:16 --> 00:08:20 blessing on we we flew through Kenya uh
00:08:20 --> 00:08:22 we came from New York to Kenya Nairobi
00:08:22 --> 00:08:24 Kenya and then had to go to Ghana I mean
00:08:24 --> 00:08:25 there are direct flights but
00:08:25 --> 00:08:27 unfortunately that wasn't our path but
00:08:28 --> 00:08:31 in the snow that just came into JFK um
00:08:31 --> 00:08:33 we were able to they gave us a delay and
00:08:33 --> 00:08:34 accommodate us and one of the
00:08:34 --> 00:08:36 accommodations was the Safari so I got
00:08:36 --> 00:08:39 to go to Safar in Nairobi Kenya so I
00:08:39 --> 00:08:41 literally was on a whirlwind I am still
00:08:41 --> 00:08:44 pinching myself don't want to be back at
00:08:44 --> 00:08:47 all but I needed that time it was in 25
00:08:47 --> 00:08:50 years of business is my very first
00:08:50 --> 00:08:52 vacation and I didn't work I didn't
00:08:52 --> 00:08:54 touch a phone I did absolutely nothing
00:08:54 --> 00:08:56 but enjoyed myself and when I tell you
00:08:56 --> 00:08:58 it was so much needed I didn't want to
00:08:58 --> 00:09:02 come back that is so beautiful and I
00:09:02 --> 00:09:05 also know you are an author how many
00:09:05 --> 00:09:08 books oh wow okay so hardback books I
00:09:08 --> 00:09:09 have three books I am not my invisible
00:09:09 --> 00:09:11 abuse he guided me through the storm
00:09:11 --> 00:09:13 wait I got I got propped y'all so he he
00:09:13 --> 00:09:15 guided me through the storm I am not my
00:09:15 --> 00:09:17 invisible abuse have another book called
00:09:17 --> 00:09:19 wake the F up and it's brand new just
00:09:19 --> 00:09:21 coming out so I'm Gonna Let You
00:09:21 --> 00:09:22 interject what you think the f is but
00:09:22 --> 00:09:24 then eil I hope it's Faith wake your
00:09:24 --> 00:09:27 faith up it's wake your faith everybody
00:09:27 --> 00:09:28 it's wake your faith it's whatever the f
00:09:28 --> 00:09:31 is no wake the F up is your is all of
00:09:31 --> 00:09:34 the fs that I use to transform my life
00:09:34 --> 00:09:35 because my life has truly been a
00:09:35 --> 00:09:37 transformation and so it's Faith it's
00:09:37 --> 00:09:39 fabulousness is finances forgiveness
00:09:39 --> 00:09:41 fearlessness ferociousness like
00:09:41 --> 00:09:43 literally any f word that you could
00:09:43 --> 00:09:46 think of and listen in in real life the
00:09:46 --> 00:09:48 F might just be on your non-Christian
00:09:48 --> 00:09:51 day one of those words too um but it's
00:09:51 --> 00:09:52 it's a book that's near and dear to my
00:09:52 --> 00:09:54 heart because I literally wrote it three
00:09:54 --> 00:09:56 years ago and I didn't have the I don't
00:09:56 --> 00:09:59 want to say the courage for some reason
00:09:59 --> 00:10:01 the timing and the book didn't I didn't
00:10:01 --> 00:10:03 have the book published but it's been
00:10:03 --> 00:10:05 complete and now this is that year I
00:10:05 --> 00:10:07 going to go ahead and throw 50 up in
00:10:07 --> 00:10:12 there I got
00:10:12 --> 00:10:15 say girl talk you look amazing tell them
00:10:15 --> 00:10:17 tell them tell them but anyways those
00:10:17 --> 00:10:19 three books um and then I have about
00:10:19 --> 00:10:22 probably 25 ebooks and my my uh my
00:10:22 --> 00:10:24 heartb books or my softback books that
00:10:24 --> 00:10:27 you can pick up and read and feel and
00:10:27 --> 00:10:29 and really engage in are are going to be
00:10:29 --> 00:10:32 about my life like transformational
00:10:32 --> 00:10:33 things I've been through how I got
00:10:33 --> 00:10:35 through them and my ebooks are more
00:10:35 --> 00:10:37 about business and finances and howto
00:10:37 --> 00:10:40 type things okay so I said all of that I
00:10:40 --> 00:10:42 want you all to know how
00:10:42 --> 00:10:45 multiac how just
00:10:45 --> 00:10:47 well-rounded um this woman is because
00:10:47 --> 00:10:49 it's like okay she's probably been doing
00:10:49 --> 00:10:51 this forever and she probably has but
00:10:51 --> 00:10:53 we're gonna get into her testimony
00:10:53 --> 00:10:54 because this platform is all about
00:10:54 --> 00:10:56 transformation and how God births you
00:10:56 --> 00:11:00 into a new season and I want her to take
00:11:00 --> 00:11:03 us through her testimony and I know we
00:11:03 --> 00:11:05 can go back probably as far as I know I
00:11:05 --> 00:11:06 think I've heard you talk about your
00:11:06 --> 00:11:08 testimony with you even you and your
00:11:08 --> 00:11:11 mother so wherever you want to start
00:11:11 --> 00:11:13 with telling us how we got here to this
00:11:13 --> 00:11:15 place I know you wrote a book about it
00:11:15 --> 00:11:17 so wherever you're comfortable I'm gonna
00:11:17 --> 00:11:18 sit back so you can share and you can
00:11:18 --> 00:11:21 bless us us and help somebody break out
00:11:21 --> 00:11:24 the pop we need popcorn juice I I said
00:11:24 --> 00:11:27 juice on purpose because Lorena told me
00:11:27 --> 00:11:29 this was a Fai based plat
00:11:29 --> 00:11:31 you know what I mean when I say the
00:11:31 --> 00:11:34 juice we need all of that go my life my
00:11:34 --> 00:11:36 life she what she's saying to y'all if
00:11:36 --> 00:11:37 you need to get your wine you need to go
00:11:38 --> 00:11:39 ahead and grab your wine I'mma have my
00:11:39 --> 00:11:40 orange juice because y'all know I don't
00:11:40 --> 00:11:43 drink but yall drinking Saints y'all go
00:11:43 --> 00:11:46 ahead for glass but seriously if I think
00:11:46 --> 00:11:48 about my life goly
00:11:48 --> 00:11:52 um in my grace we're going to call it I
00:11:52 --> 00:11:57 literally am just in the last 12 18
00:11:57 --> 00:11:59 months am catching a break from life
00:11:59 --> 00:12:02 like from every hurdle that you could
00:12:02 --> 00:12:03 think
00:12:03 --> 00:12:06 of if I think of women and uh the things
00:12:06 --> 00:12:08 that we go through because my story is
00:12:08 --> 00:12:09 really no different than others it's
00:12:09 --> 00:12:11 just the resilience of getting through
00:12:11 --> 00:12:15 it and maybe sometimes I I think about
00:12:15 --> 00:12:16 all of the things that have happened
00:12:16 --> 00:12:19 over my life probably I'm a woman that
00:12:19 --> 00:12:21 has endured over 20 years of domestic
00:12:21 --> 00:12:23 violence not in just one relationship
00:12:23 --> 00:12:24 but literally in every single
00:12:24 --> 00:12:27 relationship that I have ever been in
00:12:27 --> 00:12:30 and it was um a mental trap that I was
00:12:30 --> 00:12:33 in and it probably started from a a very
00:12:33 --> 00:12:36 young age my mother was uh mentally ill
00:12:36 --> 00:12:38 but it's something that we lived with
00:12:38 --> 00:12:40 our entire life but we didn't know I
00:12:40 --> 00:12:43 didn't know until college and when I
00:12:43 --> 00:12:45 found out in college it was literally a
00:12:45 --> 00:12:47 phone call like hi we don't want to
00:12:47 --> 00:12:48 upset you guys and this before you had a
00:12:48 --> 00:12:50 cell phone was no text and no social
00:12:50 --> 00:12:52 media this was literally your mama
00:12:52 --> 00:12:54 called on the school on the on the
00:12:54 --> 00:12:57 college uh hallway phone and you need to
00:12:57 --> 00:12:58 call your family and so I called my
00:12:58 --> 00:13:00 family and my aunt saids don't be
00:13:00 --> 00:13:03 worried but your mom had something
00:13:03 --> 00:13:04 happened with your mom we had to check
00:13:04 --> 00:13:06 her into the hospital and we don't want
00:13:06 --> 00:13:08 you to come try to come home we want you
00:13:08 --> 00:13:10 to finish stay in school finish your
00:13:10 --> 00:13:13 semester but how do you tell a kid that
00:13:13 --> 00:13:14 um and even though I had endured like
00:13:15 --> 00:13:17 when I say my entire existence as long
00:13:17 --> 00:13:19 back as I can remember was filled with
00:13:19 --> 00:13:24 abuse um child abuse neglect like just
00:13:24 --> 00:13:26 all of the horrific stories that people
00:13:26 --> 00:13:27 could tell you want me to tell some gory
00:13:27 --> 00:13:29 stories I certainly can but that phone
00:13:29 --> 00:13:32 call of knowing that my mom was mentally
00:13:32 --> 00:13:34 ill they said they 302ed her where I'm
00:13:34 --> 00:13:36 from 302 and I don't know how y'all do
00:13:36 --> 00:13:38 it I know it's not Delaware now but 302
00:13:38 --> 00:13:40 meant that means that it was a mental
00:13:40 --> 00:13:42 welfare check and she had to go straight
00:13:42 --> 00:13:45 jacket straight checks in and I didn't
00:13:45 --> 00:13:47 get I I actually wasn't upset about it
00:13:47 --> 00:13:50 it was like a click in my head like it
00:13:50 --> 00:13:53 made sense right all of the things that
00:13:53 --> 00:13:54 after you think about I'm upset is she
00:13:55 --> 00:13:58 okay but it really made sense all of the
00:13:58 --> 00:14:01 the beautiful my mother was very you
00:14:01 --> 00:14:02 know how they say she was very cutesy
00:14:02 --> 00:14:05 very demure very ladylike like she
00:14:05 --> 00:14:07 taught us to be women and you know very
00:14:07 --> 00:14:09 upstanding and shoulders back head up
00:14:09 --> 00:14:11 like Stand Tall for yourself
00:14:11 --> 00:14:13 self-respect but on the other side she
00:14:13 --> 00:14:15 wasn't verbally abusive but she was very
00:14:15 --> 00:14:17 physically hand handing fists and and
00:14:17 --> 00:14:20 stuff handed fips and whips and all that
00:14:20 --> 00:14:24 stuff um abusive and I feel like
00:14:24 --> 00:14:28 that that seeking affection cuz the
00:14:28 --> 00:14:29 person that you love the most the person
00:14:29 --> 00:14:31 that raised you or the person that has
00:14:31 --> 00:14:33 birthed you you want their affection
00:14:33 --> 00:14:35 more than any and seeking her affection
00:14:35 --> 00:14:36 throughout my lifetime and never getting
00:14:36 --> 00:14:39 it and every day waking up to try to do
00:14:39 --> 00:14:41 it right again I created a life of
00:14:41 --> 00:14:43 trying to be perfect I created a life of
00:14:43 --> 00:14:46 trying to be right I created a life of
00:14:47 --> 00:14:49 of complete lies and I literally had a
00:14:49 --> 00:14:52 quote in my head today that that the it
00:14:52 --> 00:14:55 sometimes the LIE holding sometimes the
00:14:55 --> 00:14:57 LIE may not be real but it's better than
00:14:57 --> 00:15:01 the truth right and was built on nothing
00:15:01 --> 00:15:03 but but but lies of a fantasy of a
00:15:03 --> 00:15:05 better life but if you think about it if
00:15:05 --> 00:15:07 my mother was mentally ill and we tease
00:15:07 --> 00:15:10 each other as kids that oh it skipped me
00:15:10 --> 00:15:12 and you got it or it ski it goes from
00:15:12 --> 00:15:13 like we would be like my brother mommy
00:15:13 --> 00:15:15 had it and so my brother had it but it
00:15:15 --> 00:15:17 skipped me and now my sister has it we
00:15:17 --> 00:15:19 used to do that but if I really could be
00:15:19 --> 00:15:22 transparent genetics are super real and
00:15:22 --> 00:15:24 so there was a way early on in my life
00:15:24 --> 00:15:26 that I was able to
00:15:26 --> 00:15:29 disassociate from Pain to live in the
00:15:29 --> 00:15:31 reality and so my reality was what it
00:15:31 --> 00:15:33 was but in that moment of what the
00:15:33 --> 00:15:35 tragic things that were happening to me
00:15:35 --> 00:15:37 and I like I say we're girls that women
00:15:37 --> 00:15:39 that the the the same trauma that
00:15:39 --> 00:15:41 happened at a lot of our viewers
00:15:41 --> 00:15:44 happened to me every day talking about
00:15:44 --> 00:15:46 bad things happened in dark places I've
00:15:46 --> 00:15:48 been molested from the time I was N9
00:15:48 --> 00:15:50 years old domestic violence started with
00:15:50 --> 00:15:52 fighting my brother literally every
00:15:52 --> 00:15:56 single night so having endured years of
00:15:56 --> 00:15:57 domestic violence and child abuse and
00:15:57 --> 00:15:59 all of these things
00:15:59 --> 00:16:01 one thing that never left me was the
00:16:01 --> 00:16:04 promises of making it through the moment
00:16:04 --> 00:16:06 and getting on to tomorrow like if I can
00:16:06 --> 00:16:07 make it through the moment I don't I
00:16:07 --> 00:16:09 don't have to this is happening to me
00:16:09 --> 00:16:12 right now but my spirit can separate you
00:16:12 --> 00:16:16 know that song I think of it me when
00:16:16 --> 00:16:18 your spirit when you can separate
00:16:18 --> 00:16:20 yourself from the trauma and the
00:16:20 --> 00:16:22 terrible things that are happening in
00:16:22 --> 00:16:24 your life anything is possible because
00:16:24 --> 00:16:26 all we have to know and I one thing I
00:16:26 --> 00:16:28 will say and I'm I'm grateful Lori to be
00:16:28 --> 00:16:29 here because
00:16:29 --> 00:16:30 if I think about and I hope I'm telling
00:16:30 --> 00:16:32 a story where it makes sense to you guys
00:16:32 --> 00:16:37 you are but I I early on learned about
00:16:37 --> 00:16:39 Christ God we call it Christ God
00:16:39 --> 00:16:41 whatever my grandmother would say I was
00:16:41 --> 00:16:43 a eight-year-old nine-year-old walking
00:16:43 --> 00:16:44 to church by myself church plays in all
00:16:44 --> 00:16:47 of that but these are the ways that as
00:16:47 --> 00:16:49 your story is building as I'm enduring
00:16:49 --> 00:16:51 20 years of domestic violence I
00:16:51 --> 00:16:54 literally feel that God Was preparing me
00:16:54 --> 00:16:56 for the greatness that we talk about
00:16:56 --> 00:16:58 right now all of these stories these
00:16:58 --> 00:17:01 things that we see it it didn't it was
00:17:01 --> 00:17:03 like that ain't how it was you know but
00:17:03 --> 00:17:06 being able to now look back as an adult
00:17:06 --> 00:17:08 woman of all that I've been through
00:17:08 --> 00:17:09 federal prison I've been the federal
00:17:10 --> 00:17:13 prison um through of act an act of
00:17:13 --> 00:17:15 domestic violence that left me almost
00:17:15 --> 00:17:18 dead in my home literally watching my
00:17:18 --> 00:17:20 outof body experience of my life being
00:17:20 --> 00:17:22 taken from me but I always hear This
00:17:22 --> 00:17:24 Promise from God that if you just get up
00:17:24 --> 00:17:26 this is where wake the F up the book
00:17:26 --> 00:17:28 came from if you just wake the F up get
00:17:28 --> 00:17:31 up if I could just keep going then
00:17:31 --> 00:17:32 you're going to see the greatness that
00:17:32 --> 00:17:35 God has for you and I feel like in all
00:17:35 --> 00:17:36 of the trauma and I know I'm skimming
00:17:36 --> 00:17:38 over it if you want to touch on anything
00:17:38 --> 00:17:40 we we're back up I want you to go ahead
00:17:40 --> 00:17:43 and tell it yeah but if I um if I could
00:17:43 --> 00:17:45 make it through the all the challenges
00:17:45 --> 00:17:48 in my life um then I the the greatness
00:17:48 --> 00:17:50 has to come and I just remember living
00:17:50 --> 00:17:52 on stories living on whether it was a
00:17:52 --> 00:17:55 lie or the truth living on the story of
00:17:55 --> 00:17:57 Tomorrow will come and when it does it's
00:17:57 --> 00:17:59 going to get greater I just said had a
00:17:59 --> 00:18:00 mentor that used to tell me it gets
00:18:00 --> 00:18:01 greater later I don't know when the
00:18:01 --> 00:18:03 later's going to come all I do know is
00:18:03 --> 00:18:05 that one day you're going to look up and
00:18:05 --> 00:18:06 you're not even gonna you're gonna be
00:18:06 --> 00:18:08 like what in the was I thinking about
00:18:08 --> 00:18:10 like I didn't know but it will get
00:18:10 --> 00:18:12 greater later and so the tragedies of My
00:18:12 --> 00:18:17 Life um I feel like have created me to
00:18:17 --> 00:18:20 be the mentor that I'm able to be
00:18:20 --> 00:18:22 because I know what it has been like you
00:18:22 --> 00:18:25 know Lor I be like I lur I said I I'm
00:18:25 --> 00:18:27 going to talk to you and I have to
00:18:27 --> 00:18:29 remember that I hope that I don't cry
00:18:29 --> 00:18:31 cuz you do know me but when I think
00:18:31 --> 00:18:33 about and and again anything that you
00:18:33 --> 00:18:35 want to ask me about but I just think
00:18:35 --> 00:18:36 about even the times that we spent
00:18:36 --> 00:18:40 together when I think about just life
00:18:40 --> 00:18:42 and where I am today I could L like I
00:18:43 --> 00:18:46 could shout a tear instead of crying te
00:18:46 --> 00:18:48 it's so much it's just so much to share
00:18:48 --> 00:18:50 but hopefully me sharing with you guys
00:18:50 --> 00:18:52 just some of the tragedies before we get
00:18:52 --> 00:18:54 to the greatness then you'll see that
00:18:54 --> 00:18:56 I'm I'm no different than you I just I
00:18:56 --> 00:19:00 just won't quit and I I want to go back
00:19:00 --> 00:19:02 cuz I'm telling you and and joke about
00:19:02 --> 00:19:05 calling me Lina or Lori but um but you
00:19:05 --> 00:19:07 knew Lori so I'm good there you know
00:19:07 --> 00:19:10 because because I I was I was again like
00:19:10 --> 00:19:13 you trying to get it from the muscle and
00:19:13 --> 00:19:14 our stories are are are lot are really
00:19:14 --> 00:19:21 similar but um when did you wake up when
00:19:21 --> 00:19:24 did I wake up was it in jail did you
00:19:24 --> 00:19:25 find your did was it in there you found
00:19:25 --> 00:19:27 your truth cuz at some point you had to
00:19:27 --> 00:19:29 stop lying to yourself and say I want I
00:19:29 --> 00:19:30 I don't want to live a lie and I don't
00:19:30 --> 00:19:33 want to continue to have a fairy tale
00:19:33 --> 00:19:35 but I want to actually live and manifest
00:19:35 --> 00:19:37 and and breathe in the life that I know
00:19:37 --> 00:19:38 I'm supposed to have because you s you
00:19:38 --> 00:19:40 had to see that you had greatness you
00:19:40 --> 00:19:43 had to know at the prayers of
00:19:43 --> 00:19:44 Grandmother when you was going through
00:19:44 --> 00:19:45 the church at nine years old was
00:19:45 --> 00:19:48 carrying you through this time you know
00:19:48 --> 00:19:50 so there had to be a place and a point
00:19:50 --> 00:19:51 in your life you say I'm not going
00:19:51 --> 00:19:53 through this abuse anymore and I'm
00:19:53 --> 00:19:54 better than this and I'm bigger than
00:19:54 --> 00:19:55 this when did you believe and start
00:19:55 --> 00:19:57 loving
00:19:57 --> 00:19:59 yourself gosh I think loving yourself is
00:19:59 --> 00:20:02 a consistent effort because as women we
00:20:02 --> 00:20:03 every day look in the mirror like
00:20:03 --> 00:20:06 something is it ever right like can you
00:20:06 --> 00:20:07 go like I was getting ready for the
00:20:07 --> 00:20:09 podcast and you was like your skin is
00:20:09 --> 00:20:10 glowing I was like would like that on
00:20:10 --> 00:20:12 the other
00:20:12 --> 00:20:15 camera you know but when did I wake up
00:20:15 --> 00:20:18 golly I think it is a waking up is an
00:20:18 --> 00:20:21 evolution because I can't name a day
00:20:21 --> 00:20:23 that I woke up but I can only remember
00:20:23 --> 00:20:26 glimpses of that I need to wake the F up
00:20:26 --> 00:20:28 and let me tell you a story about I I
00:20:28 --> 00:20:30 even share it with you guys that I was a
00:20:30 --> 00:20:31 single mom like I had my first son when
00:20:31 --> 00:20:34 I was 15 um still in high school my
00:20:34 --> 00:20:36 second son when I was in my second year
00:20:36 --> 00:20:39 of college um and part of your fight
00:20:39 --> 00:20:40 like the the layer that you add to your
00:20:40 --> 00:20:42 life of reasons to fight it gave me more
00:20:42 --> 00:20:44 reason I could either sit on a step in
00:20:44 --> 00:20:45 Sharon Hills where I grew up in
00:20:45 --> 00:20:47 Pennsylvania I can either stay sitting
00:20:47 --> 00:20:49 on a step and be smoking we with my
00:20:49 --> 00:20:51 friends and not doing anything foot on a
00:20:51 --> 00:20:53 wall with my chicken and I'm not trying
00:20:53 --> 00:20:55 to put a stereotype but this just where
00:20:55 --> 00:20:57 I'm from you know I I could be on the
00:20:57 --> 00:20:59 Block doing what I'm doing doing or I
00:20:59 --> 00:21:00 can make a difference for myself and I
00:21:00 --> 00:21:04 always been a very proud like knowing
00:21:04 --> 00:21:05 that I could do better kind of person
00:21:05 --> 00:21:08 and so when I had my I think my life was
00:21:08 --> 00:21:11 series of waking up so wake the F up is
00:21:11 --> 00:21:13 probably something that I'm a kind of
00:21:13 --> 00:21:15 person when I'm getting dressed maybe
00:21:15 --> 00:21:17 doing makeup or in the shower all the
00:21:17 --> 00:21:19 great stuff comes to me a little bit in
00:21:19 --> 00:21:20 my sleep but I don't have way remember
00:21:20 --> 00:21:22 unless I get up but in the shower and in
00:21:22 --> 00:21:24 that quiet time driving in a car by
00:21:24 --> 00:21:27 myself the great things come to me and
00:21:27 --> 00:21:29 so I can
00:21:29 --> 00:21:32 remember I can remember as far back as
00:21:32 --> 00:21:35 my son and him being just an infant but
00:21:35 --> 00:21:38 the women in the neighborhood the shame
00:21:38 --> 00:21:39 of being a teenage mom and I'm not
00:21:39 --> 00:21:40 talking about teenage mom where
00:21:40 --> 00:21:41 everybody School pregnant I'm talking
00:21:42 --> 00:21:43 about back in
00:21:43 --> 00:21:47 1988 when everybody you know I don't 88
00:21:47 --> 00:21:49 everybody nobody was pregnant but me
00:21:49 --> 00:21:51 right and it was a shock to the world
00:21:51 --> 00:21:53 because I was a good girl you know that
00:21:53 --> 00:21:55 had just been through some things and so
00:21:55 --> 00:21:57 even knowing then that I had to do
00:21:57 --> 00:21:59 better like kind to put that layer of
00:21:59 --> 00:22:01 confidence back on myself but when I
00:22:01 --> 00:22:06 finally started to shake that
00:22:06 --> 00:22:10 toxic whatever it was on me it was in my
00:22:10 --> 00:22:12 house I was I was dating a guy that I
00:22:12 --> 00:22:15 knew was not a person I should date but
00:22:15 --> 00:22:17 the truth of the matter is it was a time
00:22:17 --> 00:22:20 in my life where my I have account I
00:22:20 --> 00:22:21 have an accounting business I've been a
00:22:21 --> 00:22:23 tax accountant tax professional for over
00:22:23 --> 00:22:26 20 years and I started I took a wrong
00:22:26 --> 00:22:28 ter you know you get to a level and yoga
00:22:28 --> 00:22:30 I could if I could reference P Diddy you
00:22:30 --> 00:22:32 get to a certain level and I'm not no
00:22:32 --> 00:22:34 Diddy if I could say that but you get to
00:22:34 --> 00:22:37 a certain level of yourself of of that I
00:22:37 --> 00:22:40 am Jay-Z has this song I don't know the
00:22:40 --> 00:22:42 what song it is but he's it's it's a rap
00:22:42 --> 00:22:44 song he says it's stronger than heroin
00:22:44 --> 00:22:46 when you can look in the mirror like
00:22:46 --> 00:22:50 there I am and when a person gets to a
00:22:50 --> 00:22:52 level of they are smelling their s and
00:22:52 --> 00:22:54 like you can't you know like you you
00:22:54 --> 00:22:55 know that person that's you know that
00:22:55 --> 00:22:56 all this all that all that feeling
00:22:56 --> 00:22:59 yourself I arriv
00:22:59 --> 00:23:01 you know and and and and I have arrived
00:23:01 --> 00:23:03 I have a million dollar house you know
00:23:03 --> 00:23:05 what nothing wrong with the $100
00:23:05 --> 00:23:07 house I had it was beautiful right and
00:23:07 --> 00:23:11 so now I'm I'm I'm taking myself forcing
00:23:11 --> 00:23:13 myself to another level of existence
00:23:14 --> 00:23:17 that really I'm not ready for and so as
00:23:17 --> 00:23:19 I'm plateauing in my business and the
00:23:19 --> 00:23:22 money is coming I see the levels that I
00:23:22 --> 00:23:23 want but I'm not ready for the level but
00:23:24 --> 00:23:27 the greed and the and the and the the
00:23:27 --> 00:23:29 anxiousness of getting to the next level
00:23:29 --> 00:23:31 I start forcing and I start taking
00:23:31 --> 00:23:33 shortcuts and so I can sit here and say
00:23:33 --> 00:23:35 oh domestic violence led me to federal
00:23:35 --> 00:23:37 prison and this is what happened but
00:23:37 --> 00:23:40 it's not true in the domestic violence
00:23:40 --> 00:23:43 and Association of the person that I was
00:23:43 --> 00:23:44 uh hanging with the most right the like
00:23:44 --> 00:23:46 Association of that person your combined
00:23:46 --> 00:23:48 average he was committing a certain kind
00:23:48 --> 00:23:52 of fraud that looked easy to me and so
00:23:52 --> 00:23:54 I'm not a criminal I am a businesswoman
00:23:54 --> 00:23:56 that tried to be a criminal and in that
00:23:56 --> 00:23:58 moment you're caught because that's not
00:23:58 --> 00:24:00 your thing right and although this
00:24:00 --> 00:24:01 person could get away with millions of
00:24:01 --> 00:24:03 dollars of doing it I did it once and
00:24:03 --> 00:24:06 it's over for me and so when I tried
00:24:06 --> 00:24:09 this activity and I'll say it if anybody
00:24:09 --> 00:24:11 here guys credit I know we are on social
00:24:11 --> 00:24:14 media and your business one too only if
00:24:14 --> 00:24:17 you want to share it we're this is a a
00:24:17 --> 00:24:19 teachable moment and the reason
00:24:19 --> 00:24:21 teachable moment is because people are
00:24:21 --> 00:24:22 this is what they're selling us right
00:24:22 --> 00:24:25 now right and so if I can share it I
00:24:25 --> 00:24:27 think it's important if you see things
00:24:27 --> 00:24:30 like a PN number and adding trade lines
00:24:30 --> 00:24:32 and fictitious names and all these
00:24:32 --> 00:24:34 things these things will get you in some
00:24:34 --> 00:24:36 terrible hot water if they're not
00:24:36 --> 00:24:38 negotiated in the right way and so in my
00:24:38 --> 00:24:40 situation they were absolutely not
00:24:40 --> 00:24:42 negotiated in the right way and this the
00:24:42 --> 00:24:44 very person that I was dating and I
00:24:45 --> 00:24:47 tried whatever he had taught me wind up
00:24:47 --> 00:24:49 stealing from me over
00:24:49 --> 00:24:52 $150 of which I barely had but he
00:24:52 --> 00:24:54 stole it from me and I stayed in this
00:24:54 --> 00:24:56 relationship this is a classic example
00:24:56 --> 00:24:58 of a woman in domestic violence that
00:24:58 --> 00:25:00 should be there anymore but I stayed
00:25:00 --> 00:25:01 because I wanted my money back like he
00:25:01 --> 00:25:03 owe me my money I think I'm a thug and
00:25:03 --> 00:25:04 I'm going to stay till I get my money
00:25:04 --> 00:25:06 and that was literally my attitude like
00:25:06 --> 00:25:07 I was bucking up against everything I
00:25:07 --> 00:25:09 knew against God I wasn't praying I
00:25:09 --> 00:25:11 wasn't I wasn't going to church I was in
00:25:11 --> 00:25:13 these streets and I have no business out
00:25:13 --> 00:25:16 here and so winding up in federal prison
00:25:16 --> 00:25:19 even after this person tried to kill me
00:25:19 --> 00:25:20 the same person that stole from me then
00:25:20 --> 00:25:23 tried to abuse me and he attacked me in
00:25:23 --> 00:25:25 my house one day in Bear and literally
00:25:25 --> 00:25:27 left me with no teeth on the floor blood
00:25:28 --> 00:25:30 up and Down the Walls my son in the bed
00:25:30 --> 00:25:32 my young son my oldest son had just left
00:25:32 --> 00:25:34 to go back to college with his friends
00:25:34 --> 00:25:36 he was about 2 hours away and so look at
00:25:36 --> 00:25:38 God because my older son who is a real
00:25:38 --> 00:25:40 life Thug he's not but he thinks he is
00:25:40 --> 00:25:42 and it doesn't matter what what you
00:25:42 --> 00:25:43 believe you are but he
00:25:43 --> 00:25:46 really my older son who is on act on
00:25:46 --> 00:25:47 notice would have shot the whole
00:25:47 --> 00:25:49 neighborhood up for real and I'm not
00:25:49 --> 00:25:51 saying that to impress you not
00:25:52 --> 00:25:54 impressive thing but that's the person
00:25:54 --> 00:25:55 that he thought he was but this is how
00:25:55 --> 00:25:59 God works in my assault my son who is
00:25:59 --> 00:26:01 about that life just left he's two hours
00:26:01 --> 00:26:03 down the road so he can't get back fast
00:26:03 --> 00:26:06 enough to help his mama otherwise Not
00:26:06 --> 00:26:07 only would mom be in prison but here's
00:26:07 --> 00:26:09 my son and his friends also in prison
00:26:09 --> 00:26:11 and this is literally a moment where
00:26:11 --> 00:26:12 wake to f up it's my biggest wake to f
00:26:13 --> 00:26:16 up moment because I feel like God spared
00:26:16 --> 00:26:18 so many lives in this night and so my
00:26:18 --> 00:26:20 son is on his way to school he can't get
00:26:20 --> 00:26:23 back my youngest son who is a nice boy
00:26:23 --> 00:26:25 he he something paralyzed him he
00:26:25 --> 00:26:27 literally says it in a way that I heard
00:26:27 --> 00:26:30 his scream and it was like a a horror
00:26:30 --> 00:26:32 movie and I knew it was bad and when I
00:26:32 --> 00:26:35 went to get up my body wouldn't move but
00:26:35 --> 00:26:37 I remember and this is domestic violence
00:26:37 --> 00:26:39 and if anybody I promise you anybody um
00:26:39 --> 00:26:41 and Lord will share my information is is
00:26:41 --> 00:26:43 is in domestic violence and you want out
00:26:43 --> 00:26:45 or you're out and you just on that
00:26:45 --> 00:26:47 Teeter Line Please share my information
00:26:47 --> 00:26:49 so that I can hope you have some
00:26:49 --> 00:26:51 resources but my I was in such domestic
00:26:51 --> 00:26:53 violence and knew it that my son had a
00:26:53 --> 00:26:55 we call it a trap phone under his
00:26:55 --> 00:26:57 mattress and when he heard this scream
00:26:57 --> 00:26:59 he was was able to reach under his
00:26:59 --> 00:27:02 mattress and get his phone and call 911
00:27:02 --> 00:27:05 and the grace of God had the operator
00:27:05 --> 00:27:07 talk him into not coming downstairs to
00:27:07 --> 00:27:10 help his mama so imagine you know the
00:27:10 --> 00:27:12 scream you hear is a is a death scream
00:27:12 --> 00:27:14 because literally it was and he didn't
00:27:14 --> 00:27:16 move or come downstairs she talked him
00:27:16 --> 00:27:19 through she comp called told him how
00:27:19 --> 00:27:21 strong and amazing he was for not trying
00:27:21 --> 00:27:23 to be the hero and she helped him stay
00:27:23 --> 00:27:27 alive while I was assaulted downstairs
00:27:27 --> 00:27:29 and when I'm laying there on the ground
00:27:29 --> 00:27:31 and my teeth are on the ground this is
00:27:31 --> 00:27:33 where vanity girls ladies you know what
00:27:33 --> 00:27:35 I'm talking about that vanity is
00:27:35 --> 00:27:37 something serious because I am
00:27:37 --> 00:27:40 completely out cold my body and this is
00:27:40 --> 00:27:43 again about when did I wake up my body
00:27:43 --> 00:27:45 is sitting and just like I'm sitting
00:27:45 --> 00:27:48 right now my spirit is and I didn't
00:27:48 --> 00:27:50 believe in any of this out of- Body
00:27:50 --> 00:27:52 Experience stuff Lor you Lorena would
00:27:52 --> 00:27:55 tell you I don't I didn't I'm sitting in
00:27:55 --> 00:27:57 this position like in like a holding my
00:27:57 --> 00:28:00 knees position but my body is across the
00:28:00 --> 00:28:03 floor laying stretched out on the floor
00:28:03 --> 00:28:05 and I'm witnessing my murder I see the
00:28:05 --> 00:28:07 person stomping on me kicking on me
00:28:07 --> 00:28:11 jumping on me punching me spitting on me
00:28:11 --> 00:28:13 and but my body is just getting beat to
00:28:13 --> 00:28:16 a pulp literally and I'm watching I am
00:28:16 --> 00:28:20 watching and at some point my I don't I
00:28:20 --> 00:28:22 don't know at what point but I start to
00:28:22 --> 00:28:24 come back together and I'm splattering
00:28:24 --> 00:28:25 on the floor and you hear a
00:28:25 --> 00:28:28 sound sound like uh sounds like water on
00:28:28 --> 00:28:31 the floor but it's not water it's blood
00:28:31 --> 00:28:33 everywhere and when I say your vanity is
00:28:33 --> 00:28:36 is a serious thing because what woke me
00:28:36 --> 00:28:38 up in the splatter of my brain trying to
00:28:38 --> 00:28:40 connect back to you know it's like a
00:28:40 --> 00:28:43 movie like sh you're back what woke me
00:28:43 --> 00:28:45 up was when my eyes are fixed on
00:28:45 --> 00:28:47 something on the floor it literally
00:28:47 --> 00:28:48 looked like a slithered almond on the
00:28:48 --> 00:28:51 floor and I'm I start touching my face
00:28:52 --> 00:28:54 like is that my teeth and that's what I
00:28:54 --> 00:28:56 scream like are those my teeth on the
00:28:56 --> 00:28:59 floor and I wake up like wait what
00:28:59 --> 00:29:01 happened cuz I don't know what happened
00:29:01 --> 00:29:04 and this person is literally has a has a
00:29:04 --> 00:29:07 roll of paper towels on his knees and he
00:29:07 --> 00:29:09 is wiping up the floor and he is wiping
00:29:09 --> 00:29:13 up the wall he never shook me slapped me
00:29:13 --> 00:29:16 helped me get better he literally said
00:29:16 --> 00:29:18 you see what you made me do and on the
00:29:18 --> 00:29:21 floor when I when before as I'm
00:29:21 --> 00:29:23 splattering around is when literally
00:29:23 --> 00:29:25 that birth that book was birthed cuz the
00:29:26 --> 00:29:27 only thing I heard I'm not saying God
00:29:27 --> 00:29:29 cuss to me right but what I did he was
00:29:29 --> 00:29:33 wake the F up like you need f up and
00:29:33 --> 00:29:36 wake up get up get up get up and let me
00:29:36 --> 00:29:39 tell you about your intuition even in
00:29:40 --> 00:29:42 your even in
00:29:42 --> 00:29:45 your lowest points in your unconscious
00:29:45 --> 00:29:47 points that sick sense guy your
00:29:47 --> 00:29:49 intuition the spirit whatever you want
00:29:49 --> 00:29:51 to call it holy spirit everybody calls
00:29:51 --> 00:29:52 it something different you got to listen
00:29:52 --> 00:29:55 to that voice because that voice told me
00:29:55 --> 00:29:57 instructed me what to do my mind wasn't
00:29:57 --> 00:29:58 together my brain was on the floor my
00:29:58 --> 00:30:00 teeth were on the floor I am not
00:30:00 --> 00:30:03 coherent but I knew my my my everything
00:30:03 --> 00:30:05 that came to me in that moment I started
00:30:05 --> 00:30:07 to do it told me to get up I got up it
00:30:07 --> 00:30:09 told me to tell him that I won't tell on
00:30:09 --> 00:30:11 him I said it it told me to tell him to
00:30:11 --> 00:30:13 leave before the cops come I said it
00:30:13 --> 00:30:14 everything it told me to do I did it
00:30:14 --> 00:30:16 saved my life not only that he didn't
00:30:16 --> 00:30:18 know my son was there so it also saved
00:30:18 --> 00:30:21 my son's life too and so long story
00:30:21 --> 00:30:24 short back to the reality when I finally
00:30:24 --> 00:30:27 realized it was time to wake up was when
00:30:27 --> 00:30:28 I was on that floor
00:30:28 --> 00:30:29 but I
00:30:29 --> 00:30:33 wasn't mentally ready for did I have the
00:30:33 --> 00:30:36 mental capacity to do it so from that
00:30:36 --> 00:30:38 time which was 2010 it probably still
00:30:38 --> 00:30:43 took me about two about five years 2014
00:30:43 --> 00:30:46 or 15 was when I got indicted and locked
00:30:46 --> 00:30:48 up I went to federal prison and in
00:30:48 --> 00:30:50 prison is when I started to do the work
00:30:50 --> 00:30:51 and in that quiet place is when I
00:30:51 --> 00:30:53 started to plead with God and when I
00:30:53 --> 00:30:55 wanted to come back to God and when I
00:30:55 --> 00:30:57 wanted God to tell to help me to get me
00:30:57 --> 00:30:59 through all of these things and I made a
00:30:59 --> 00:31:01 promise to God I said God I was
00:31:01 --> 00:31:04 sentenced to five years and if you allow
00:31:04 --> 00:31:06 me to leave early because I don't I
00:31:06 --> 00:31:08 can't stand all these years I mean I can
00:31:08 --> 00:31:11 if I have to I don't want to but if you
00:31:11 --> 00:31:13 let get help me find a way up out of
00:31:13 --> 00:31:16 here I'm going to use my voice because
00:31:16 --> 00:31:17 any horrific thing has ever ever
00:31:17 --> 00:31:19 happened to me even since I was a little
00:31:19 --> 00:31:22 girl it's always my mouth yeah right
00:31:22 --> 00:31:23 woke up from the assault my mouth was
00:31:23 --> 00:31:26 wired shut there was another time my jaw
00:31:26 --> 00:31:28 was broken I have a titanium plate in my
00:31:28 --> 00:31:30 chin this is domestic violence don't let
00:31:30 --> 00:31:32 this pretty Place pretty face for you
00:31:32 --> 00:31:35 right beautiful these are not like I'm
00:31:35 --> 00:31:37 not gonna show you but if I like my
00:31:37 --> 00:31:39 teeth are not aligned all because of
00:31:39 --> 00:31:42 domestic violence but it's always my
00:31:42 --> 00:31:45 mouth that gift of speaking this is why
00:31:45 --> 00:31:47 I write this is why I'm awake this is
00:31:47 --> 00:31:49 why I I I told God if you let me out I'm
00:31:49 --> 00:31:51 I'm this is why I had to become an
00:31:51 --> 00:31:53 international speaker because it's a
00:31:53 --> 00:31:55 promise this is why I have to share the
00:31:55 --> 00:31:56 gifts that I have with women about
00:31:56 --> 00:31:58 entrepreneurship because it's a promise
00:31:58 --> 00:32:01 and God scared me he let me out he
00:32:01 --> 00:32:03 didn't let me go crazy he didn't let me
00:32:03 --> 00:32:05 lose myself he didn't let me fall off
00:32:05 --> 00:32:07 into some you don't look like what
00:32:07 --> 00:32:09 you've been through cuz I want y'all to
00:32:09 --> 00:32:11 know she a tall girl like me and she's a
00:32:11 --> 00:32:14 tall drink of water she is beautiful but
00:32:14 --> 00:32:16 you'll never know so and that's real I'm
00:32:16 --> 00:32:18 not just listen y listen go look at her
00:32:18 --> 00:32:20 Facebook place she gorgeous y'all you
00:32:20 --> 00:32:22 know but to see yeah like I always say
00:32:22 --> 00:32:24 you see the glory but you'll know the
00:32:24 --> 00:32:28 story go no don't be sorry that would y
00:32:28 --> 00:32:29 y'all go get this whole life story
00:32:29 --> 00:32:30 because somebody called lifetime tell
00:32:30 --> 00:32:32 them to sign me up I'm telling you we
00:32:32 --> 00:32:34 gotta do we got to do a movie yes we
00:32:34 --> 00:32:35 should they say we got to write a
00:32:35 --> 00:32:37 treatment plan who the treatment plan
00:32:37 --> 00:32:40 specialist get it with DM okay but no
00:32:40 --> 00:32:43 honestly I woke up I W I began to wake
00:32:43 --> 00:32:44 up but I
00:32:44 --> 00:32:47 wasn't I I I didn't know how and one
00:32:47 --> 00:32:49 thing about federal prison you ever been
00:32:49 --> 00:32:52 in such a dark place in your life where
00:32:52 --> 00:32:55 you praying for for Relief like you all
00:32:55 --> 00:32:57 of us have broke up yeah men women we
00:32:57 --> 00:32:58 done broke up you know broke up with the
00:32:58 --> 00:32:59 love of your life you just kicking and
00:32:59 --> 00:33:01 screaming to want to fight the world
00:33:01 --> 00:33:02 like come back and you know like all
00:33:02 --> 00:33:05 that that grief of of trying to be in
00:33:05 --> 00:33:08 control of your life and I feel like in
00:33:08 --> 00:33:12 prison is where the the crying that that
00:33:12 --> 00:33:13 get me even in a situation with this
00:33:14 --> 00:33:15 person before he assaulted me I know he
00:33:15 --> 00:33:17 was a bad person I was trying to get
00:33:17 --> 00:33:19 away from him but I I had to decide
00:33:19 --> 00:33:20 between do I want my money because I
00:33:20 --> 00:33:22 have made some bad decisions remember I
00:33:22 --> 00:33:24 said I was trying to live a life that
00:33:24 --> 00:33:26 looked good that I would eventually have
00:33:26 --> 00:33:28 gotten to I just wasn't ready for it so
00:33:28 --> 00:33:30 I tried to force it it's there that I
00:33:30 --> 00:33:32 learned that when you take shortcuts
00:33:32 --> 00:33:33 don't they always get you lost if we
00:33:33 --> 00:33:35 didn't have a GPS and you take a
00:33:35 --> 00:33:39 shortcut that's the wrong way and so the
00:33:39 --> 00:33:40 evolution of waking up happened in
00:33:40 --> 00:33:43 prison when praying God to relieve me of
00:33:43 --> 00:33:47 domestic violence I don't why is every
00:33:47 --> 00:33:50 person that I ever am intimate with or
00:33:50 --> 00:33:52 date or in some type of relationship
00:33:52 --> 00:33:54 want to fight me what is happening like
00:33:54 --> 00:33:56 what am I doing and I had to really
00:33:56 --> 00:33:59 realize some things about myself so
00:33:59 --> 00:34:00 number one I had been in abuse for all
00:34:00 --> 00:34:03 of my life so I too was part abuser I
00:34:03 --> 00:34:05 was my friend called me a manizer I was
00:34:05 --> 00:34:08 a kind of girl that I would date men
00:34:08 --> 00:34:11 that of are of a certain status and it
00:34:11 --> 00:34:12 isn't because I'm I'm not a gold digger
00:34:12 --> 00:34:14 because I'm I bring the go right and I'm
00:34:14 --> 00:34:16 not saying that in a way but I'm the
00:34:16 --> 00:34:18 kind of person that because I lived a
00:34:18 --> 00:34:20 life trying to be built up I became an
00:34:20 --> 00:34:22 expert of building I'm a builder right
00:34:22 --> 00:34:23 and so because I'm trying to be the
00:34:23 --> 00:34:26 Builder and I'm given all that I have
00:34:26 --> 00:34:27 you are a little disappoint pointed when
00:34:28 --> 00:34:29 you gave all you have and and then they
00:34:29 --> 00:34:32 not acting right always right and so I
00:34:32 --> 00:34:34 learned about me and this is through
00:34:34 --> 00:34:37 prison and through like uh we we did
00:34:37 --> 00:34:39 something called uh treatment plans
00:34:39 --> 00:34:40 where they taught us about rational
00:34:40 --> 00:34:43 self-analysis and how why do you do the
00:34:43 --> 00:34:44 things you do and think that they're
00:34:44 --> 00:34:46 okay and I literally had intensive
00:34:46 --> 00:34:48 therapy in prison I had a forensic
00:34:49 --> 00:34:51 psychologist before prison and so I
00:34:51 --> 00:34:53 literally had to do the mental health
00:34:53 --> 00:34:55 work to save myself because most likely
00:34:55 --> 00:34:57 I still would be in this cycle of
00:34:57 --> 00:34:59 destruction because the type of girl I
00:34:59 --> 00:35:01 was I'm dating these guys that are of
00:35:01 --> 00:35:03 certain status on the outside but
00:35:03 --> 00:35:05 honestly they're just as insecure as I
00:35:05 --> 00:35:07 am right they they look nice on the
00:35:07 --> 00:35:09 outside got a fancy car but the bigger
00:35:09 --> 00:35:11 the car the more insecure they were the
00:35:11 --> 00:35:12 more money they had the more they
00:35:12 --> 00:35:15 doubted themselves and I was the type of
00:35:15 --> 00:35:17 person where because I had been so
00:35:17 --> 00:35:19 abused all my life I was almost like a
00:35:19 --> 00:35:22 like a a filler like if I could find out
00:35:22 --> 00:35:25 the things that your triggers I know
00:35:25 --> 00:35:28 your triggers so I I I started to create
00:35:28 --> 00:35:31 this type of Personality where I'm going
00:35:31 --> 00:35:33 to stay ready you know and a woman
00:35:33 --> 00:35:34 that's been hurt she know what I mean
00:35:34 --> 00:35:36 I'm going to get you for you get me and
00:35:36 --> 00:35:37 if you gonna get me I'm gon get you
00:35:37 --> 00:35:39 twice that literally was my attitude
00:35:39 --> 00:35:41 right and so I literally had built this
00:35:41 --> 00:35:44 Persona of I'm such a nice samure sweet
00:35:44 --> 00:35:47 girl but I was really a terrible person
00:35:47 --> 00:35:48 I have to tell the truth because hurt
00:35:48 --> 00:35:51 people hurt people and so I was always
00:35:51 --> 00:35:53 ready to get you back and one thing
00:35:53 --> 00:35:55 about me I'm never going to leave until
00:35:55 --> 00:35:58 I get you back and with men especially
00:35:58 --> 00:36:00 and women if you can relate to this then
00:36:00 --> 00:36:04 you know what I mean it men especially a
00:36:04 --> 00:36:07 ego Driven Man if they think that they
00:36:07 --> 00:36:09 have all these things going on and you
00:36:09 --> 00:36:10 sitting in the cut waiting on them
00:36:10 --> 00:36:13 because they already disappointed you so
00:36:13 --> 00:36:16 what I learned about about myself was I
00:36:16 --> 00:36:18 detach when I'm hurt when I feel
00:36:18 --> 00:36:22 emotional pain yes I feel emotional pain
00:36:22 --> 00:36:25 I know now in my relationship if this
00:36:25 --> 00:36:29 happens like a let's just say infidelity
00:36:29 --> 00:36:31 infidelity I don't do well with right
00:36:31 --> 00:36:32 and so if that happens you broke our
00:36:32 --> 00:36:34 barrier and I become a different person
00:36:34 --> 00:36:37 and so I know now that this relationship
00:36:37 --> 00:36:41 is over but before therapy and before
00:36:41 --> 00:36:42 prison and before these traumatic
00:36:42 --> 00:36:44 situations I didn't realize this was
00:36:44 --> 00:36:47 over I would sit and wait till I get you
00:36:47 --> 00:36:50 back till I hurt you like you hurt me
00:36:50 --> 00:36:52 and now that I hurt you like you hurt me
00:36:52 --> 00:36:55 then I can leave but no man that feels a
00:36:55 --> 00:36:57 certain way about themsel even if
00:36:57 --> 00:36:59 they're not an abuser it's a trigger
00:36:59 --> 00:37:01 that they have and when you push that
00:37:01 --> 00:37:05 trigger it snaps them into a moment of
00:37:05 --> 00:37:07 unforgiveness almost where they didn't
00:37:07 --> 00:37:09 even know that they would do the things
00:37:09 --> 00:37:10 that they' done they didn't know they
00:37:10 --> 00:37:11 would grab you and choke you they don't
00:37:11 --> 00:37:12 know they would push you down they don't
00:37:12 --> 00:37:14 know they would pull your hair because
00:37:14 --> 00:37:16 you literally stuck a fire up under them
00:37:16 --> 00:37:18 that they didn't they you you you used
00:37:18 --> 00:37:20 the pillow tuck against them and I
00:37:20 --> 00:37:22 literally have became an expert at that
00:37:22 --> 00:37:25 and once I realized that that was the
00:37:25 --> 00:37:28 the issue with me and domestic violence
00:37:28 --> 00:37:31 I had to fix that and once I fixed that
00:37:31 --> 00:37:33 all of that became the evolution of me
00:37:33 --> 00:37:36 waking up because if I looked at all of
00:37:36 --> 00:37:38 the relationships the common denominator
00:37:38 --> 00:37:41 in all of them were was me right and so
00:37:41 --> 00:37:43 I must I domestic violence is not my
00:37:43 --> 00:37:46 fault but I must play a role in this and
00:37:46 --> 00:37:48 so once I realized my role and realized
00:37:49 --> 00:37:51 what I was doing it self-sabotage all
00:37:51 --> 00:37:54 along the way you know it's even in
00:37:54 --> 00:37:56 friendships like having girlfriends like
00:37:56 --> 00:37:58 I might have a girlfriend that might
00:37:58 --> 00:38:00 hurt me and instead of me telling her I
00:38:00 --> 00:38:03 she hurt me I'm um she could be cool
00:38:03 --> 00:38:04 with me but I got her you know what I
00:38:05 --> 00:38:07 mean and I'm awake right you know and
00:38:07 --> 00:38:09 now I love her she's really my friend
00:38:09 --> 00:38:12 I've lost some amazing friends because
00:38:12 --> 00:38:14 instead of me understanding how to say
00:38:14 --> 00:38:17 you hurt me I'm just gonna
00:38:17 --> 00:38:20 wait you know till I hurt you back I'm
00:38:20 --> 00:38:22 GNA get you back but I those are these
00:38:22 --> 00:38:24 are behaviors now we have boundaries and
00:38:24 --> 00:38:25 so many other things that life has
00:38:25 --> 00:38:30 created just a grownup way to exist now
00:38:30 --> 00:38:33 and I'm glad you talked about therapy
00:38:33 --> 00:38:37 because a lot of times um we just don't
00:38:37 --> 00:38:38 believe that therapy is important
00:38:38 --> 00:38:40 especially in the brown Community you
00:38:41 --> 00:38:42 know and I hear it more and more like we
00:38:42 --> 00:38:45 need therapy and especially when you
00:38:45 --> 00:38:48 have to work through um all of that
00:38:48 --> 00:38:51 baggage and all of the weight um and I'm
00:38:51 --> 00:38:53 glad you said that you did not deserve
00:38:53 --> 00:38:55 it because I don't care what you did you
00:38:55 --> 00:38:58 ain't deserve none of that no no
00:38:58 --> 00:38:59 none of that no I don't care what you
00:38:59 --> 00:39:02 did you a deserve none of that um but um
00:39:02 --> 00:39:05 even now so let's talk because because
00:39:05 --> 00:39:06 because ladies I want you'all to know
00:39:06 --> 00:39:09 that through this process of working and
00:39:09 --> 00:39:12 learning herself because that was clear
00:39:12 --> 00:39:15 you know most of if most of us can talk
00:39:15 --> 00:39:17 about ourselves that clear and learn
00:39:17 --> 00:39:19 ourselves and look at ourselves we'd be
00:39:19 --> 00:39:21 much better places much better people
00:39:21 --> 00:39:23 but with that God has blessed she was an
00:39:23 --> 00:39:26 amazing partner man oh my goodness let
00:39:26 --> 00:39:28 me tell you but you could feel it even
00:39:28 --> 00:39:29 when you said that working through that
00:39:29 --> 00:39:31 I could it's still work to be done and I
00:39:31 --> 00:39:33 could feel it even when I'm talking like
00:39:33 --> 00:39:35 I feel that it's not the anxiety but my
00:39:36 --> 00:39:37 my heart is beating at a different rate
00:39:37 --> 00:39:39 because it's a work in progress it
00:39:39 --> 00:39:43 really is it's it's constant work let me
00:39:43 --> 00:39:46 tell you I am married to an amazing
00:39:46 --> 00:39:48 man and I'm just just pigc what you're
00:39:48 --> 00:39:51 saying because um my last husband
00:39:51 --> 00:39:52 definitely I I dealt with domestic
00:39:52 --> 00:39:54 violence in that relationship and I had
00:39:54 --> 00:39:55 never dealt with that before I couldn't
00:39:56 --> 00:39:57 believe it I was like I so have an out
00:39:57 --> 00:39:59 of- body experience I had one did you
00:40:00 --> 00:40:02 just hit me like people hit me I'm a
00:40:02 --> 00:40:05 rumbler like like would you really I
00:40:05 --> 00:40:07 just could not understand it and I could
00:40:07 --> 00:40:09 not understand women who allowed it to
00:40:09 --> 00:40:11 happen but here I found myself in that
00:40:11 --> 00:40:14 situation so like what is going on but
00:40:14 --> 00:40:15 um like you said there were some things
00:40:15 --> 00:40:18 about myself I had to re-evaluate why I
00:40:18 --> 00:40:20 was attracted to this situation and why
00:40:21 --> 00:40:25 I stay so long but one coming out of
00:40:25 --> 00:40:29 that and learning myself and waking up
00:40:29 --> 00:40:31 and and learning that I was more and the
00:40:31 --> 00:40:33 lord gave me this amazing man I don't
00:40:33 --> 00:40:35 care what I do to my husband honey I
00:40:35 --> 00:40:37 could S button that he has I can make
00:40:37 --> 00:40:39 new buttons he is never gonna raise his
00:40:39 --> 00:40:41 hand he might tell me to go sit down you
00:40:41 --> 00:40:44 know but and I know that about your boo
00:40:44 --> 00:40:46 bear like you know some people are just
00:40:46 --> 00:40:48 like you know what you're having a bad
00:40:48 --> 00:40:51 day girl go sit down you know we have
00:40:51 --> 00:40:53 you been in therapy this week you know
00:40:53 --> 00:40:55 so those are also important therapy and
00:40:56 --> 00:40:57 prayer is important y'all you know you
00:40:57 --> 00:41:00 can pray and some some some need to pray
00:41:00 --> 00:41:02 and go down on your knees and pray and
00:41:02 --> 00:41:03 then go sit on somebody's couch you may
00:41:04 --> 00:41:06 need both yes and you may need to pray
00:41:06 --> 00:41:08 go down your KNE and pray go sit on
00:41:08 --> 00:41:10 somebody's couch and take your medicine
00:41:10 --> 00:41:12 all of it all of the you might need all
00:41:12 --> 00:41:14 of it until you've been made healed
00:41:14 --> 00:41:16 you've been whole so this is a process
00:41:16 --> 00:41:17 and it is a it is a process to learn who
00:41:17 --> 00:41:19 you are because what we're talking about
00:41:19 --> 00:41:21 right now for those of you back in the
00:41:21 --> 00:41:23 cheap seeds we're talking about breaking
00:41:23 --> 00:41:25 generational curses we're talking about
00:41:25 --> 00:41:28 getting free from the those chains and
00:41:28 --> 00:41:30 from things that bound us as children to
00:41:30 --> 00:41:32 keep us from our
00:41:32 --> 00:41:34 destiny and these things that try to
00:41:35 --> 00:41:37 keep her lock her up literally for real
00:41:37 --> 00:41:40 and keep her from her Destiny she said
00:41:40 --> 00:41:42 listen I got to get up because she
00:41:42 --> 00:41:46 always saw where she was going to be and
00:41:46 --> 00:41:48 okay go ahead I I got excited I wanted I
00:41:48 --> 00:41:49 want to get that out there because
00:41:49 --> 00:41:50 sometimes you gotta sum it up people
00:41:50 --> 00:41:52 they get lost in story but it's
00:41:52 --> 00:41:54 important to know that what we're
00:41:54 --> 00:41:56 talking about right now and we're
00:41:56 --> 00:41:59 talking about altars that have to
00:41:59 --> 00:42:02 be looked at burnt up and we have to
00:42:02 --> 00:42:05 begin to build an altar of prayer and go
00:42:05 --> 00:42:06 to a place we say Lord I know who you
00:42:06 --> 00:42:08 called me to be and I want to live in a
00:42:08 --> 00:42:10 fullness of that are we a millionaire
00:42:10 --> 00:42:13 today yes everybody's a millionaire
00:42:13 --> 00:42:16 everybody's a millionaire are you
00:42:16 --> 00:42:19 one so if I I have do I have a million
00:42:19 --> 00:42:22 dollars it yeah yeah I don't talk about
00:42:22 --> 00:42:23 listen we just called it right after
00:42:24 --> 00:42:27 there like call I
00:42:27 --> 00:42:29 in the back where they at yes there and
00:42:29 --> 00:42:32 I'm sad to say that how long have you
00:42:32 --> 00:42:35 been home I've been home since
00:42:35 --> 00:42:38 2017 so since two because you because
00:42:38 --> 00:42:39 you did the work I saw you when you
00:42:39 --> 00:42:43 first came home yeah and me yes girl I
00:42:43 --> 00:42:45 saw you you was like listen soon as she
00:42:45 --> 00:42:48 got home she she put me on to some
00:42:48 --> 00:42:50 business she was like listen you want
00:42:50 --> 00:42:52 hair so you're own come on let me show
00:42:52 --> 00:42:54 you how to do it you know me on even my
00:42:54 --> 00:42:57 son took my son and put my son on and
00:42:57 --> 00:42:58 and I mean like even he's still looking
00:42:58 --> 00:43:01 at drugs like Mom you got money say how
00:43:01 --> 00:43:03 much you got like you gotta have SK in
00:43:03 --> 00:43:05 the game son I can't give it all to you
00:43:05 --> 00:43:07 you know but took my son in and allowed
00:43:08 --> 00:43:10 my son to get mentorship and what you do
00:43:10 --> 00:43:13 for women and children and I know people
00:43:13 --> 00:43:15 don't hear this story often and it's
00:43:15 --> 00:43:20 important to know that this journey got
00:43:20 --> 00:43:23 you to where you are today and every
00:43:23 --> 00:43:26 moment of it was important surely I'm
00:43:26 --> 00:43:27 sure you could look back said I could
00:43:27 --> 00:43:29 have done without that Lord but every
00:43:29 --> 00:43:32 moment of it was important you know so
00:43:32 --> 00:43:34 um so even now so so we find ourselves
00:43:34 --> 00:43:37 now and it's amazing Rel and I want to
00:43:37 --> 00:43:38 talk about it because I want women to
00:43:38 --> 00:43:41 know that listen there is hope so so she
00:43:41 --> 00:43:42 did the work she realized she was
00:43:42 --> 00:43:44 attracting the wrong men you know so we
00:43:44 --> 00:43:46 talked about that but you got an amazing
00:43:46 --> 00:43:48 man oh yeah let me tell y'all about I
00:43:48 --> 00:43:51 call him boo bear Martin so boo bear
00:43:51 --> 00:43:54 bber is part of I was I want to share
00:43:54 --> 00:43:57 something real quick so I have a lot of
00:43:57 --> 00:44:01 people don't know that about that I do
00:44:01 --> 00:44:04 un they don't know how much I pray a lot
00:44:04 --> 00:44:06 of people don't know how much I fast
00:44:06 --> 00:44:08 they don't know I do I'm G tell you what
00:44:08 --> 00:44:10 I do because I remember you said to me
00:44:10 --> 00:44:11 when you came home you was like I really
00:44:11 --> 00:44:14 always wanted to do a Bible study I
00:44:14 --> 00:44:17 really you want to do a Bible study
00:44:17 --> 00:44:19 Bible study so I knew then I said okay
00:44:19 --> 00:44:21 she a fast and praying woman okay go
00:44:21 --> 00:44:24 ahead I tried a Bible study in my office
00:44:24 --> 00:44:26 that I tried to do a Bible study called
00:44:26 --> 00:44:27 um doing business by the good book it
00:44:27 --> 00:44:29 was a Bible study for business owners I
00:44:29 --> 00:44:31 should do it again but it was a Bible
00:44:31 --> 00:44:32 study for business owners back in the
00:44:32 --> 00:44:35 day we used to have a little bit fun um
00:44:35 --> 00:44:39 but I uh one of the things that keep me
00:44:39 --> 00:44:41 is prayer like I can't I don't even
00:44:41 --> 00:44:42 think I can go further into the
00:44:42 --> 00:44:44 conversation without saying that a lot
00:44:44 --> 00:44:47 of my life has like like I said is has
00:44:47 --> 00:44:50 been about the promises of God right and
00:44:50 --> 00:44:52 I have a favorite scripture and to this
00:44:52 --> 00:44:53 day I don't know I'm I'm that person I
00:44:53 --> 00:44:54 know the scripture I don't know the word
00:44:54 --> 00:44:57 or the verse but know the dress what's
00:44:57 --> 00:45:00 the scripture let me tell you this so my
00:45:00 --> 00:45:04 favorite scripture is eyes have not seen
00:45:04 --> 00:45:06 nor have ears heard nor has it entered
00:45:06 --> 00:45:08 in the hearts of man what God will do
00:45:08 --> 00:45:09 for those who love him sometimes they
00:45:10 --> 00:45:11 tell you better read the part before it
00:45:11 --> 00:45:12 and the part after but I'm going to
00:45:12 --> 00:45:15 stick to that part I love that and this
00:45:15 --> 00:45:19 is my life this is my life because in
00:45:19 --> 00:45:22 the darkest days I say that scripture I
00:45:22 --> 00:45:24 believe in affirmations I write it down
00:45:24 --> 00:45:26 I got vision boards not vision boards
00:45:26 --> 00:45:27 like you know fance or nothing but I
00:45:28 --> 00:45:30 have things that I want that if I put it
00:45:30 --> 00:45:32 down if I see it I write it I believe in
00:45:32 --> 00:45:35 writing I believe in the power of of um
00:45:35 --> 00:45:36 right Division and make it clean that
00:45:36 --> 00:45:37 life and death are in the power of the
00:45:37 --> 00:45:39 tongue all that stuff I believe I watch
00:45:39 --> 00:45:41 my words I watch the things I say I do
00:45:41 --> 00:45:43 my best to take care of my body I try to
00:45:43 --> 00:45:45 honor God in a way I know when I'm not
00:45:45 --> 00:45:46 you know and I know what I could do
00:45:46 --> 00:45:48 better and I know that when it's nothing
00:45:48 --> 00:45:51 I can do I know that too but that
00:45:51 --> 00:45:54 scripture has really done so many
00:45:54 --> 00:45:57 magnificent things for me even in
00:45:57 --> 00:45:59 relationship even in prison going to
00:45:59 --> 00:46:02 prison is probably a prayer of please if
00:46:02 --> 00:46:04 you ever pray like God please take this
00:46:04 --> 00:46:06 away from me get me out of this get me
00:46:06 --> 00:46:07 away from these people all of the things
00:46:07 --> 00:46:09 that I screamed these things have
00:46:09 --> 00:46:12 happened and even in when I say like God
00:46:12 --> 00:46:13 one day I would like to have a man that
00:46:13 --> 00:46:16 truly loves me and I even still as an
00:46:16 --> 00:46:19 adult grown woman have to still
00:46:19 --> 00:46:22 understand what love is and how to love
00:46:22 --> 00:46:26 because I never I wasn't it is not a
00:46:26 --> 00:46:28 that beautiful gift that I ever had I I
00:46:28 --> 00:46:31 didn't grow up in a loving affectionate
00:46:31 --> 00:46:33 type of relationship so my partner is
00:46:34 --> 00:46:35 very affectionate I mean he's so
00:46:35 --> 00:46:37 affectionate i' be like like I'm trying
00:46:37 --> 00:46:39 to tell you get up off me like he's
00:46:39 --> 00:46:42 super affectionate but he's everything
00:46:42 --> 00:46:43 that you could ever have wed and I
00:46:43 --> 00:46:45 almost missed it let me tell you why
00:46:45 --> 00:46:48 when I was um in I got a letter from him
00:46:48 --> 00:46:51 in uh I had five I was sentenced to five
00:46:51 --> 00:46:54 years and I have been in prison for a
00:46:54 --> 00:46:56 years it's a darn crazy thing that I
00:46:56 --> 00:46:58 even no I will get up and go get the
00:46:58 --> 00:47:01 letter y'all but I I got sentenced to
00:47:01 --> 00:47:03 five years and I had been in prison for
00:47:03 --> 00:47:04 one year and one month and I got a
00:47:04 --> 00:47:07 letter in the mail and I thought it was
00:47:07 --> 00:47:09 his sister I'm reading the letter how
00:47:09 --> 00:47:11 are you how you know and whatever he
00:47:11 --> 00:47:14 said I didn't know you were there and
00:47:14 --> 00:47:16 the letters go reads on to say um uh
00:47:17 --> 00:47:18 what do you need is there anything I
00:47:18 --> 00:47:20 could do and then the next sentence was
00:47:20 --> 00:47:22 like never mind I got you and when I
00:47:22 --> 00:47:26 tell you in my darkest time of my life
00:47:26 --> 00:47:29 this person mark My Boo Bear stood up
00:47:29 --> 00:47:31 for me when I had when I tell you I did
00:47:31 --> 00:47:33 not have absolutely anything cry
00:47:33 --> 00:47:35 whatever I had I'm telling you whatever
00:47:35 --> 00:47:37 I had even on the street he didn't know
00:47:37 --> 00:47:39 anything about real estate he went to my
00:47:39 --> 00:47:42 house start cleaning it out he looked
00:47:42 --> 00:47:44 after my mama he looked after my kids I
00:47:44 --> 00:47:47 was the Envy of the entire Federal Camp
00:47:47 --> 00:47:49 because he was sending like mail like
00:47:49 --> 00:47:51 this Stacks and stacks and stacks of
00:47:51 --> 00:47:53 mail and cards and notebook and the
00:47:53 --> 00:47:55 girls would be passing the letters like
00:47:55 --> 00:47:57 smell and pass passing them back passing
00:47:57 --> 00:47:59 him down the road cuz the smell a man
00:47:59 --> 00:48:01 right he would be spraying a perfume on
00:48:01 --> 00:48:03 his letters the craziest the most
00:48:03 --> 00:48:05 interesting part about this when I say I
00:48:05 --> 00:48:07 almost missed it is because I knew him
00:48:07 --> 00:48:10 before prison I am 5'11 like Lori said
00:48:10 --> 00:48:14 La Arena said I am 5'11 and he is 5'5
00:48:14 --> 00:48:16 and so when I got the letter literally
00:48:16 --> 00:48:19 the first thing I said was oh hell ex he
00:48:19 --> 00:48:21 too
00:48:21 --> 00:48:23 short I was like okay now I know I'm
00:48:23 --> 00:48:25 locked up but stop I said God do not be
00:48:25 --> 00:48:28 playing with me I L said it out loud but
00:48:28 --> 00:48:29 we have been walking the track and
00:48:29 --> 00:48:31 fasting and praying you know you I
00:48:31 --> 00:48:33 promise you you going to get super super
00:48:33 --> 00:48:36 super sold out on the on the word listen
00:48:36 --> 00:48:37 I've been to
00:48:37 --> 00:48:40 jail and so we have been men some other
00:48:40 --> 00:48:42 women have been walking and praying and
00:48:42 --> 00:48:44 all this and so when I shared with them
00:48:44 --> 00:48:48 Martin uh she was like you cannot be a
00:48:48 --> 00:48:49 one of the women she from a Tennessee or
00:48:49 --> 00:48:51 something like that she says you cannot
00:48:51 --> 00:48:53 be the praying woman that I know and you
00:48:53 --> 00:48:55 going that you is are locked up L said
00:48:55 --> 00:48:58 you is locked up and you gonna let this
00:48:58 --> 00:48:59 man that's on the street that got a
00:48:59 --> 00:49:02 going on you're not gonna talk to are
00:49:02 --> 00:49:04 you are you crazy or something and I was
00:49:05 --> 00:49:07 like I'm cool listen I'm cool listen
00:49:07 --> 00:49:09 that's what I say and so Mar the crazy
00:49:09 --> 00:49:11 part about Martin and interesting we
00:49:11 --> 00:49:12 laugh about it now so some people be
00:49:12 --> 00:49:14 like oh that's so that's so like the
00:49:14 --> 00:49:16 emasculating it's not that way we could
00:49:16 --> 00:49:17 laugh about it because we were already
00:49:17 --> 00:49:21 friends but when Ryan wrote me I knew
00:49:21 --> 00:49:23 him but I didn't look at him in that way
00:49:23 --> 00:49:25 and I know he's attractive very handsome
00:49:25 --> 00:49:28 guy got oh he's gorgeous i g say I might
00:49:28 --> 00:49:30 I might drop a picture in but I G do it
00:49:30 --> 00:49:32 to my boy he is
00:49:32 --> 00:49:35 gorgeous I had to ask him because when
00:49:35 --> 00:49:37 you when you have a friend a true friend
00:49:37 --> 00:49:39 you don't I didn't see him in that way
00:49:39 --> 00:49:41 so I literally had to say send me a mail
00:49:41 --> 00:49:44 me a picture so and but let me tell you
00:49:44 --> 00:49:46 when he when I called him uh the first
00:49:46 --> 00:49:48 time he literally was like a little kid
00:49:49 --> 00:49:50 with candy waiting by the phone he
00:49:50 --> 00:49:52 couldn't wait and I am in prison for
00:49:52 --> 00:49:54 five years and with four years to go and
00:49:54 --> 00:49:57 he is just tickle and waiting and just
00:49:57 --> 00:49:58 like the joy of your heart as if we're
00:49:58 --> 00:50:01 being together every single day and the
00:50:01 --> 00:50:03 way the biggest blessing that I have
00:50:03 --> 00:50:06 with Martin is he's anything he I have
00:50:06 --> 00:50:08 ever requested or not requested he has
00:50:08 --> 00:50:11 done for me and if I could like tell
00:50:11 --> 00:50:12 some of some of you girls y'all like
00:50:12 --> 00:50:14 nice things you like the red bottoms and
00:50:14 --> 00:50:15 all that stuff I'm literally and I'm not
00:50:15 --> 00:50:17 trying to impress you just to impress
00:50:17 --> 00:50:19 upon you that he listens to me my dreams
00:50:19 --> 00:50:21 I've been w a g wagon since I was 12
00:50:21 --> 00:50:23 years
00:50:23 --> 00:50:27 oldag I'm on the second G wagon the
00:50:27 --> 00:50:30 second one yes I had aen I had a black
00:50:30 --> 00:50:31 one and it wasn't good enough he didn't
00:50:32 --> 00:50:34 like the way it drove and he saw faner
00:50:34 --> 00:50:37 and he got the other one you know and
00:50:37 --> 00:50:39 here's the the work that still has to be
00:50:39 --> 00:50:41 done in me I'm proud you're you're used
00:50:41 --> 00:50:43 to being treated a certain way you don't
00:50:43 --> 00:50:44 know when something's going to get
00:50:44 --> 00:50:46 snatched from you so I was offended the
00:50:46 --> 00:50:48 first one I was like Tickle Pink the
00:50:48 --> 00:50:50 second one I was offended because I'm
00:50:50 --> 00:50:51 grinding back and I'm getting my
00:50:51 --> 00:50:53 business together but I could do it by
00:50:53 --> 00:50:54 myself I don't I don't need you to buy
00:50:54 --> 00:50:57 that for me I literally had to take away
00:50:57 --> 00:51:00 my proudness to say thank you the
00:51:00 --> 00:51:01 greatest thing that Martin has done for
00:51:01 --> 00:51:06 me is help me through my triggers so
00:51:06 --> 00:51:07 when might have arguments because
00:51:07 --> 00:51:10 there's no perfect relationship but he
00:51:10 --> 00:51:13 like I'll you know I'm you know you know
00:51:13 --> 00:51:14 when I you know I get a little y'all
00:51:14 --> 00:51:16 know how you get ladies when you get mad
00:51:16 --> 00:51:18 P wear go nothing but you know it's a
00:51:18 --> 00:51:20 it's a fight and so when I get to all
00:51:20 --> 00:51:22 this all this you know what I'm saying
00:51:22 --> 00:51:25 he'll say um he just shake his head
00:51:25 --> 00:51:28 he'll say don't talk to me like that yo
00:51:28 --> 00:51:30 he's he's he's shorter but he's very
00:51:30 --> 00:51:33 like firm oh he's manly he's very manly
00:51:33 --> 00:51:36 go this is what we not going to do yeah
00:51:36 --> 00:51:38 okay right and so but you don't have to
00:51:38 --> 00:51:39 choke me to say this what we're not
00:51:39 --> 00:51:43 gonna do but that bark like okay you
00:51:43 --> 00:51:48 know so he literally instead of like
00:51:48 --> 00:51:50 being aggressive with me when I would be
00:51:50 --> 00:51:52 aggressive with him he because if it's
00:51:52 --> 00:51:53 an argument then you know I'm used to
00:51:53 --> 00:51:55 domestic violence and so I there have
00:51:55 --> 00:51:59 been times where he had to say to me do
00:51:59 --> 00:52:01 you know that you just went and put on
00:52:01 --> 00:52:04 sneakers and came back to argue with me
00:52:04 --> 00:52:06 and I was like I did and he was like
00:52:06 --> 00:52:08 blue bear you just went and put your
00:52:08 --> 00:52:10 sneakers on to come back and finish the
00:52:10 --> 00:52:13 argument are you okay and he reminds me
00:52:13 --> 00:52:15 that I'm not that guy there have been
00:52:15 --> 00:52:18 times when if I am being aggressive to
00:52:18 --> 00:52:20 him he'll instead of him being back
00:52:20 --> 00:52:21 aggressive to me or talking down to me
00:52:21 --> 00:52:24 he'll say B I didn't I'm not that person
00:52:25 --> 00:52:27 but when you talk to me like this this
00:52:27 --> 00:52:29 it makes you not be my boo bear it makes
00:52:29 --> 00:52:32 me want to treat you like a man in the
00:52:32 --> 00:52:34 street if you don't want to treat get
00:52:34 --> 00:52:35 treated like a man in the street you
00:52:35 --> 00:52:38 gotta be a lady right my husband says
00:52:38 --> 00:52:40 that he calls it masculine energy he
00:52:40 --> 00:52:42 said you ging me masculine energy right
00:52:42 --> 00:52:45 now yeah and so he continues to walk me
00:52:45 --> 00:52:47 through you know even as early as a
00:52:47 --> 00:52:49 couple days ago you know what I'm saying
00:52:49 --> 00:52:53 but he continues to walk me through the
00:52:53 --> 00:52:55 process of becoming a lady and of just
00:52:55 --> 00:52:58 being a like uh uh I don't have to be by
00:52:58 --> 00:53:00 myself I don't have to do it all by
00:53:00 --> 00:53:02 myself I don't have to take on the
00:53:02 --> 00:53:04 responsibility of all the bills I'm the
00:53:04 --> 00:53:06 person that for all my life I paid all
00:53:06 --> 00:53:08 my bills for all my life even though I
00:53:08 --> 00:53:10 was in these relationships of people
00:53:10 --> 00:53:12 giving I don't these are not things I
00:53:12 --> 00:53:14 wanted I just somebody give it to me I'm
00:53:14 --> 00:53:16 going to give it away because if we had
00:53:16 --> 00:53:17 another conversation on another time of
00:53:17 --> 00:53:20 a podcast even me making money millions
00:53:20 --> 00:53:22 of dollars having access to incredible
00:53:22 --> 00:53:24 things and I'm talking guys access like
00:53:24 --> 00:53:26 I've dated guys that could put me on a
00:53:26 --> 00:53:28 jet to Vegas anytime I want to see my
00:53:28 --> 00:53:31 sister could drive fly my son to go see
00:53:31 --> 00:53:33 his grandmother like literally like the
00:53:33 --> 00:53:35 best of the best of the best of the best
00:53:35 --> 00:53:37 and people will say well why aren't you
00:53:37 --> 00:53:40 at a different level I wasn't ready my
00:53:40 --> 00:53:43 my heart wasn't ready my deserving that
00:53:43 --> 00:53:46 I deserve to be I had to grow into that
00:53:46 --> 00:53:48 I had to grow into the fact that I am
00:53:48 --> 00:53:50 allowed to have money I don't have to go
00:53:50 --> 00:53:51 shopping and buy all the things I want
00:53:51 --> 00:53:52 and when I get home feel guilty and take
00:53:53 --> 00:53:55 them back and so growing into the
00:53:55 --> 00:53:56 existence of of
00:53:57 --> 00:53:58 um it's okay that you deserve it and you
00:53:58 --> 00:54:00 work for it that's why that vacation and
00:54:00 --> 00:54:02 that mission work was so important for
00:54:02 --> 00:54:03 me and even on my relationship with
00:54:03 --> 00:54:06 Martin and here is a very um transparent
00:54:06 --> 00:54:08 thing I can say we are not married yet
00:54:08 --> 00:54:10 we've been together since
00:54:10 --> 00:54:13 2017 um and one of the reasons my my own
00:54:13 --> 00:54:14 reason that we're not married I have a
00:54:14 --> 00:54:17 son who's still incarcerated not
00:54:17 --> 00:54:18 anything to do with me but he's been
00:54:18 --> 00:54:20 away for 11 and a half years and my
00:54:20 --> 00:54:22 dream remember eyes have not seen nor
00:54:22 --> 00:54:25 have ears heard my dream is that my son
00:54:25 --> 00:54:26 walks me down the aisle
00:54:26 --> 00:54:29 and so we have an agreement that I don't
00:54:29 --> 00:54:30 I don't want to be at my wedding wishing
00:54:30 --> 00:54:32 that my son was there because I know
00:54:32 --> 00:54:34 that the whole time I wish Sean was here
00:54:34 --> 00:54:36 I want to be I want to have my moment
00:54:36 --> 00:54:37 the way that I would like to have my
00:54:37 --> 00:54:39 moment and so he will be coming soon and
00:54:39 --> 00:54:41 he will make those plans and we'll be
00:54:41 --> 00:54:43 together but Martin has really changed
00:54:43 --> 00:54:45 my life in a way and the one thing that
00:54:45 --> 00:54:48 I believe about me and you're married so
00:54:48 --> 00:54:49 you might could teach me different I
00:54:49 --> 00:54:51 might go to marriage counseling but I
00:54:51 --> 00:54:54 still believe that there is a in my mind
00:54:54 --> 00:54:57 and in my heart I must be saving it but
00:54:57 --> 00:54:59 I believe that there's still a level of
00:54:59 --> 00:55:01 of Womanhood and love for that I have to
00:55:01 --> 00:55:04 offer to my husband and the reason I say
00:55:04 --> 00:55:05 that is because so much has been taken
00:55:05 --> 00:55:08 away from me and I hadn't experienced
00:55:08 --> 00:55:09 love in that way I've already lived
00:55:09 --> 00:55:11 together I already have kids the only
00:55:11 --> 00:55:14 thing that I have never ever done is
00:55:14 --> 00:55:16 open my entire heart and I literally
00:55:16 --> 00:55:19 made a promise to myself not even God
00:55:19 --> 00:55:21 but to myself that that gift is a gift
00:55:21 --> 00:55:23 that I will reserve for my husband and
00:55:23 --> 00:55:25 so I feel excited for Martin when we do
00:55:25 --> 00:55:27 get married and listen we might get
00:55:27 --> 00:55:28 married and it just be like yesterday
00:55:28 --> 00:55:30 but to me I might could turn up a little
00:55:30 --> 00:55:33 bit marriage is marriage is it is a gift
00:55:33 --> 00:55:35 because it is a different level it's a
00:55:35 --> 00:55:37 promotion in the spirit so um and I'm
00:55:38 --> 00:55:39 learning and even hearing you talk one
00:55:39 --> 00:55:41 of the things that um can you hear my
00:55:41 --> 00:55:44 dog barking I'm sorry I mean time for us
00:55:44 --> 00:55:49 to go downstairs sorry guys um is loving
00:55:49 --> 00:55:51 me through my
00:55:51 --> 00:55:54 unpacking yes so as I'm unpacking my
00:55:54 --> 00:55:57 baggage and unpacking my can you love me
00:55:57 --> 00:55:59 through that process and that's what I
00:55:59 --> 00:56:00 hear that's
00:56:00 --> 00:56:04 me when I'm acting like a fool you know
00:56:04 --> 00:56:06 he's you know looking at me but instead
00:56:06 --> 00:56:09 of rejecting me what I'm used to I'm G
00:56:09 --> 00:56:10 love you through this and come on sit
00:56:10 --> 00:56:13 down watch this movie now you know when
00:56:13 --> 00:56:16 you get schol and he doesn't let me take
00:56:16 --> 00:56:19 he doesn't um he doesn't accept my my
00:56:19 --> 00:56:21 pity parties if I be like I if I want to
00:56:21 --> 00:56:24 cry or if I just leave me alone and I
00:56:24 --> 00:56:25 want to cry my eyes out and you know
00:56:25 --> 00:56:26 you're used to the person come in to try
00:56:26 --> 00:56:28 to get you stop crying girl you know got
00:56:28 --> 00:56:30 in the truck and went to work on the car
00:56:30 --> 00:56:33 like what you told me to get out leave
00:56:33 --> 00:56:34 stop playing the
00:56:34 --> 00:56:37 game like I don't know what to say yeah
00:56:37 --> 00:56:39 you g check on me he be like no you said
00:56:39 --> 00:56:42 like what you talking about I know we
00:56:42 --> 00:56:43 we're rning short on time but I thank
00:56:43 --> 00:56:46 you for this candid conversation and
00:56:46 --> 00:56:49 just telling your testimony and telling
00:56:49 --> 00:56:51 you know do you still have your podcast
00:56:51 --> 00:56:53 I know you were doing podcast
00:56:53 --> 00:56:55 Reinventing some things on a podcast I'm
00:56:55 --> 00:56:59 trying to decide I feel like that I Mayo
00:56:59 --> 00:57:01 one of the things that I do is I write I
00:57:01 --> 00:57:03 write about domestic violence but I
00:57:03 --> 00:57:05 don't talk about it and I'm feeling lit
00:57:05 --> 00:57:08 that I might do domestic violence for my
00:57:08 --> 00:57:10 podcast well if you do it let me know I
00:57:10 --> 00:57:12 come on and I will definitely be a guest
00:57:12 --> 00:57:16 I have to have you we got all the FY but
00:57:16 --> 00:57:18 even as we go I want you all just to be
00:57:18 --> 00:57:21 encouraged and inspired because
00:57:21 --> 00:57:24 um she said a lot she said a lot and and
00:57:24 --> 00:57:26 even with the scripture that I have not
00:57:26 --> 00:57:27 seen ears have not heard nor has to
00:57:27 --> 00:57:29 enter the hearts of me what God has in
00:57:29 --> 00:57:32 store for you I want you all to catch
00:57:32 --> 00:57:34 that catch that and hold on to that and
00:57:34 --> 00:57:36 I want you also to catch and take away
00:57:36 --> 00:57:38 from this conversation that even through
00:57:38 --> 00:57:40 this process she had a prayer life and I
00:57:40 --> 00:57:42 think that that's always the the what we
00:57:42 --> 00:57:44 hear the echo what we hear no matter
00:57:44 --> 00:57:46 what happened um even through this
00:57:46 --> 00:57:47 process when she didn't even know what
00:57:47 --> 00:57:50 to call it she had a prayer life and
00:57:50 --> 00:57:52 it's so important to be able to use that
00:57:52 --> 00:57:55 communication because in our times of
00:57:55 --> 00:57:56 need the Bible say says that the Lord is
00:57:56 --> 00:57:58 our very present help in our time of
00:57:58 --> 00:58:00 trouble so I want you to know that God
00:58:00 --> 00:58:02 is always there and he is always
00:58:02 --> 00:58:04 listening when we are in trouble we can
00:58:04 --> 00:58:05 call upon the name of the Lord and He
00:58:06 --> 00:58:08 will hear our cry and he will be
00:58:08 --> 00:58:11 attentive unto our voice and as we go do
00:58:11 --> 00:58:12 you have anything that you want to end
00:58:12 --> 00:58:15 with you want to say you I I one thing
00:58:15 --> 00:58:17 that when I talk about that scripture
00:58:17 --> 00:58:19 that eyes have not seen nor have ears
00:58:19 --> 00:58:21 heard I would love for everybody if you
00:58:21 --> 00:58:22 are listening to take a second to just
00:58:22 --> 00:58:25 close your eyes and think of what you
00:58:25 --> 00:58:28 see and but I I want us to see the most
00:58:28 --> 00:58:31 amazing amazing parts of what life could
00:58:31 --> 00:58:33 be for us and the reason I'm so excited
00:58:33 --> 00:58:35 about that scripture when I close my
00:58:35 --> 00:58:37 eyes because I know what I see and if I
00:58:37 --> 00:58:41 know what I see and God said greater it
00:58:41 --> 00:58:43 just gives me chills because if you just
00:58:43 --> 00:58:45 get the vision of what your life is
00:58:45 --> 00:58:47 don't look at what you have right now
00:58:47 --> 00:58:49 before you but look at what your life
00:58:49 --> 00:58:51 could be what you imagine it to be and
00:58:51 --> 00:58:54 if you can see it God will do it God
00:58:54 --> 00:58:56 will do it if you just push through and
00:58:56 --> 00:58:58 so I just want you to really take this
00:58:58 --> 00:58:59 moment and close your eyes and reflect
00:58:59 --> 00:59:01 on even something greater than you can
00:59:01 --> 00:59:03 even imagine that you think you deserve
00:59:03 --> 00:59:04 because you'll get it and then in your
00:59:05 --> 00:59:06 prayer life fasting because one of the
00:59:06 --> 00:59:08 things for domestic violence for me I
00:59:09 --> 00:59:10 know a scripture that says that it's
00:59:10 --> 00:59:13 these things that only can be cast out
00:59:13 --> 00:59:15 through prayer and fasting and if it for
00:59:15 --> 00:59:18 the fasting I couldn't lift that Spirit
00:59:19 --> 00:59:21 of domestic violence that a
00:59:21 --> 00:59:23 worthlessness off of me I had to pass
00:59:23 --> 00:59:25 through it and get like such mental
00:59:25 --> 00:59:28 clarity for it and so you can do it too
00:59:28 --> 00:59:31 amen amen amen fasting comes to tear
00:59:31 --> 00:59:33 down the strongholds y'all but as you
00:59:33 --> 00:59:36 fast it brings down the strong man and I
00:59:36 --> 00:59:39 want y'all to catch this thing it's so
00:59:39 --> 00:59:41 much but said I hope you all play it
00:59:41 --> 00:59:45 back take your pen and paper out um the
00:59:45 --> 00:59:47 woman of God even said that she writes
00:59:48 --> 00:59:49 and I want you to leave you guys with
00:59:49 --> 00:59:50 this as we leave we gonna have you this
00:59:50 --> 00:59:52 pray us out you mind just get little
00:59:52 --> 00:59:53 prayer prayers
00:59:53 --> 00:59:56 out well give me one second so one last
00:59:56 --> 00:59:59 thing I want to leave y'all with writing
00:59:59 --> 01:00:01 every morning when I wake up before I do
01:00:01 --> 01:00:03 anything I recite a
01:00:03 --> 01:00:06 scripture it resets my mind so whatever
01:00:06 --> 01:00:09 you mind is Psalms 23 whatever it is
01:00:09 --> 01:00:10 that the Lord has put on your heart I
01:00:10 --> 01:00:12 want y'all to recite a scripture I want
01:00:12 --> 01:00:14 you to write down 10 things that you are
01:00:14 --> 01:00:17 grateful for before you ask God for
01:00:17 --> 01:00:18 anything I don't care if you haven't
01:00:18 --> 01:00:20 even seen it come to pass yet begin to
01:00:20 --> 01:00:21 write it down God I'm grateful that I'm
01:00:22 --> 01:00:24 debt free I'm grateful that my marriage
01:00:24 --> 01:00:26 is lined up I'm grateful that my
01:00:26 --> 01:00:29 children are successful whatever is you
01:00:29 --> 01:00:31 want to see write as if it already
01:00:32 --> 01:00:33 happened 10 things that you are grateful
01:00:33 --> 01:00:37 for reset a scripture before you do
01:00:37 --> 01:00:38 anything then I want you to pray and I
01:00:38 --> 01:00:40 want you to dive into your word and
01:00:40 --> 01:00:42 begin to study uh to show yourself
01:00:42 --> 01:00:44 approved so um you should have a morning
01:00:44 --> 01:00:46 routine if you want to be successful at
01:00:46 --> 01:00:49 anything um you need a routine amen and
01:00:49 --> 01:00:51 the woman of God I know she is running
01:00:51 --> 01:00:52 she training for a marathon we didn't
01:00:52 --> 01:00:54 even get there yet we gotta bring her
01:00:54 --> 01:00:56 back we gonna bring her back so go ahead
01:00:56 --> 01:00:58 little prayer I'll tell you real quick
01:00:58 --> 01:01:00 the marathon there's one prayer that I
01:01:00 --> 01:01:02 had y'all like 20 years ago to be city
01:01:02 --> 01:01:04 council and this is the power of writing
01:01:04 --> 01:01:08 and believe in it and I I in Virginia
01:01:08 --> 01:01:11 I'm in Virginia now and I went I went um
01:01:11 --> 01:01:14 to city council is different here than
01:01:14 --> 01:01:15 other places so you have to be a part of
01:01:15 --> 01:01:17 the board to be city council and so I I
01:01:17 --> 01:01:19 applied and did what I had to do and
01:01:19 --> 01:01:21 they said when I called it I didn't get
01:01:21 --> 01:01:23 elected or selected and when I came back
01:01:23 --> 01:01:26 from my mission trip um there's a letter
01:01:26 --> 01:01:27 I got the letter right here there's a
01:01:27 --> 01:01:30 letter in the mail and it there was a
01:01:30 --> 01:01:31 vacated seat somebody say won't you do
01:01:31 --> 01:01:35 it there's a v seat right there's a
01:01:35 --> 01:01:38 vacated seat it says I'm pleased to
01:01:38 --> 01:01:40 inform you that on December 10th city
01:01:40 --> 01:01:42 council appointed you to serve a
01:01:42 --> 01:01:44 four-year term uh for the Human Services
01:01:44 --> 01:01:46 Advisory Board and all I have to do was
01:01:46 --> 01:01:48 the background check and y'all know it's
01:01:48 --> 01:01:49 just a little state background check I
01:01:49 --> 01:01:52 got to get through that that's easy and
01:01:52 --> 01:01:54 so your friend literally has another
01:01:55 --> 01:01:57 fulfilled dream of city council all
01:01:57 --> 01:01:58 because of the vision that are you a
01:01:58 --> 01:02:01 city council member now girl you did not
01:02:01 --> 01:02:04 start off with that you better girl we
01:02:04 --> 01:02:06 gotta celebrate you know what I said in
01:02:06 --> 01:02:08 this season y'all as we close out I said
01:02:08 --> 01:02:10 in this season this was my prayers this
01:02:10 --> 01:02:12 is on this this is on my my list I said
01:02:12 --> 01:02:15 Lord connect me with people that are
01:02:15 --> 01:02:16 doing things and going places that I
01:02:16 --> 01:02:17 want to go because you know I was going
01:02:17 --> 01:02:20 from city council yes I said and I want
01:02:20 --> 01:02:22 some rich friends in this season yeah
01:02:22 --> 01:02:26 that's what I said I did already because
01:02:26 --> 01:02:27 we friends got different conversations
01:02:27 --> 01:02:29 different conversations different goals
01:02:29 --> 01:02:30 different routines and they go different
01:02:30 --> 01:02:33 places and I want to be in that place I
01:02:33 --> 01:02:35 want to do hot I want to do high te okay
01:02:35 --> 01:02:37 I'm so excited go ahead and pray us out
01:02:38 --> 01:02:40 girl and we gonna bring you back okay I
01:02:40 --> 01:02:42 cannot wait if all hearts and minds are
01:02:42 --> 01:02:44 clear father God in the name of Jesus
01:02:44 --> 01:02:46 Lord I just thank you Lord in this
01:02:46 --> 01:02:47 moment God first of all thank you for
01:02:47 --> 01:02:49 the time that we were able to spend
01:02:49 --> 01:02:51 together like to be able to be
01:02:51 --> 01:02:53 transparent it is just a warming feeling
01:02:53 --> 01:02:55 to know that someone that knows you that
01:02:55 --> 01:02:57 you can talk talk to that you can let go
01:02:57 --> 01:02:59 of all of the things that you hold on to
01:02:59 --> 01:03:01 you could speak in a different way and
01:03:01 --> 01:03:03 and just relate in a different way God
01:03:03 --> 01:03:05 so I thank you for that and for anybody
01:03:05 --> 01:03:06 that's listening to us if they needed a
01:03:06 --> 01:03:09 voice to hear a word to hear a prayer a
01:03:09 --> 01:03:11 scripture that they were able to really
01:03:11 --> 01:03:13 gain some clarity through our
01:03:13 --> 01:03:15 conversation just girl talk just being
01:03:15 --> 01:03:17 keeping it real keeping it transparent
01:03:17 --> 01:03:19 Lord and I ask for anybody here that is
01:03:19 --> 01:03:22 suffering that is in domestic violence
01:03:22 --> 01:03:24 that's in a dark place that is in a a
01:03:24 --> 01:03:26 place of just just transformation Lord
01:03:26 --> 01:03:28 that you show them just a little bit of
01:03:28 --> 01:03:30 Glimpse just a little bit of Glimpse is
01:03:30 --> 01:03:32 all it takes for them to know that it's
01:03:32 --> 01:03:34 possible and just allow them to transer
01:03:34 --> 01:03:36 their mind their heart their spirit and
01:03:36 --> 01:03:37 their soul to know that all they have to
01:03:37 --> 01:03:39 do is continue fighting a good fight and
01:03:39 --> 01:03:41 going on the good fight and the right
01:03:41 --> 01:03:44 direction will get them there not just
01:03:44 --> 01:03:46 any fight but the right direction God
01:03:46 --> 01:03:47 and the right direction is always going
01:03:47 --> 01:03:49 to be to call on you first and to get
01:03:49 --> 01:03:51 into those quiet places so that we can
01:03:51 --> 01:03:52 hear your voice so that you could talk
01:03:52 --> 01:03:54 to us when we don't know we can't make a
01:03:54 --> 01:03:56 way out of nowhere and are making
01:03:56 --> 01:03:58 foolish decisions and and terrible ways
01:03:58 --> 01:04:00 God you know what to do you know how to
01:04:00 --> 01:04:02 get to us and how to talk to us Lord I
01:04:02 --> 01:04:05 know some might be like me and there was
01:04:05 --> 01:04:06 times and places where I felt like I
01:04:06 --> 01:04:08 couldn't hear your voice I felt like we
01:04:08 --> 01:04:10 couldn't connect but I'm telling you
01:04:10 --> 01:04:12 it's that that quietness that that that
01:04:12 --> 01:04:15 gratefulness even still God and so I ask
01:04:15 --> 01:04:16 for everybody here tonight just to have
01:04:16 --> 01:04:19 a spirit of gratitude if you have a
01:04:19 --> 01:04:20 friend again that's suffering through
01:04:20 --> 01:04:22 domestic violence or anything that they
01:04:22 --> 01:04:24 feel like they can't get it out first of
01:04:24 --> 01:04:26 all the podcast Lord is a place to be
01:04:26 --> 01:04:27 because people are transforming they're
01:04:27 --> 01:04:29 healing they're sharing Lord I just ask
01:04:29 --> 01:04:31 you just to continue giving people this
01:04:31 --> 01:04:34 The Gift of Life the gift of Tomorrow
01:04:34 --> 01:04:36 the gift of doing what they can with
01:04:36 --> 01:04:37 their time right now and not waiting it
01:04:38 --> 01:04:41 is no time like the present because it's
01:04:41 --> 01:04:43 not promised Lord but if we can do the
01:04:43 --> 01:04:44 things that you know that you gifted us
01:04:44 --> 01:04:47 to do who are we to run away from the
01:04:47 --> 01:04:49 things that you said are for us our
01:04:49 --> 01:04:52 story our Our Testimony our struggles
01:04:52 --> 01:04:53 all of the things that we go through is
01:04:53 --> 01:04:56 that testimony for someone that is
01:04:56 --> 01:04:58 watching want to see you get through it
01:04:58 --> 01:04:59 that they can also get through it too
01:04:59 --> 01:05:01 Lord so I ask all of us to go through
01:05:01 --> 01:05:03 this with our flying colors Lord no
01:05:03 --> 01:05:05 matter how bad it is and no how matter
01:05:05 --> 01:05:07 how great it is we still call on you God
01:05:07 --> 01:05:09 we want to work so hard and we want to
01:05:10 --> 01:05:12 be so amazing we want to be make you so
01:05:12 --> 01:05:14 proud that you can't wait to brag about
01:05:14 --> 01:05:16 us to the next person Lord and to my
01:05:16 --> 01:05:18 friend God thank you for her platform
01:05:18 --> 01:05:20 thank you for her marriage thank you for
01:05:20 --> 01:05:21 her transformation thank you for
01:05:22 --> 01:05:24 allowing her to be a mom upon mom a mama
01:05:24 --> 01:05:26 again a grandma dog mom and all these
01:05:26 --> 01:05:28 things Lord but for the women and the
01:05:28 --> 01:05:30 people that she's impacting for the
01:05:30 --> 01:05:32 prayers and the voices that she that are
01:05:32 --> 01:05:34 numb that can't be heard that she allows
01:05:34 --> 01:05:36 to hear even through the spirit Lord
01:05:36 --> 01:05:38 even through her tongue God we just ask
01:05:38 --> 01:05:40 you continue using her be continue to
01:05:40 --> 01:05:42 award her and let her see that her
01:05:42 --> 01:05:43 platform is one of the greatest it's on
01:05:43 --> 01:05:46 the way God to be awarded and to be just
01:05:46 --> 01:05:48 a household name that women and men
01:05:48 --> 01:05:50 alike seek to go to to hear some
01:05:50 --> 01:05:52 transformational stories Lord and so we
01:05:52 --> 01:05:54 just thank you for the time we spent
01:05:54 --> 01:05:56 together tonight Lord I just thank you
01:05:56 --> 01:05:58 we appreciate you we love you God we
01:05:58 --> 01:06:00 can't ask for anything else before we're
01:06:00 --> 01:06:01 just grateful for absolutely everything
01:06:02 --> 01:06:03 that you've given to us and done for us
01:06:03 --> 01:06:05 Lord and so we just thank you right now
01:06:05 --> 01:06:07 in this time we appreciate you Lord in
01:06:07 --> 01:06:12 Jesus Christ's name amen amen amen amen
01:06:12 --> 01:06:14 as I always say y'all little prayer
01:06:14 --> 01:06:16 little power a lot of prayer a lot of
01:06:16 --> 01:06:19 power don't hold it in tell your story
01:06:19 --> 01:06:22 because your story is going to change
01:06:22 --> 01:06:24 someone's life and set you free cuz we
01:06:24 --> 01:06:26 are overcoming by the words of our own
01:06:26 --> 01:06:29 testimonies everyone have a blessed day
01:06:29 --> 01:06:33 until we meet again for the next episode
01:06:33 --> 01:06:37 [Applause]
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