Ep 386: Mastering Boundaries for Personal Growth

[00:00:00] Liquor Talk, another new episode starts now. Welcome and welcome everybody to another edition of the Liquor Talk Podcast. Shout out to everybody that's poured up for the culture. Shout out to everybody that's tuned in on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, YouTube, and wherever you get your podcast platforms at. Shout out to everybody that's pouring a drink with us right now. But joining us today, we got another international episode. My guest comes from us right across from north of the border, holding it down in Canada.

[00:00:29] Thank you to our friends at PodMatch for bringing us this guest. We got coach Amy Linnaeus today. How you doing coach? So good. So good. Thank you. I'm excited to be here. Yeah, so you know, I gotta ask you, I know the World Cup being in United States, you know, we've seen it here in the United States and stuff. So how's the experience been up for you up there in Canada?

[00:00:53] Yeah, we were talking a little bit about in the preamble. I know that places like Toronto and Vancouver have absolutely blown up with amazing events and tourism and different things. And I've been talking to some of my friends out west who are really close to Vancouver. That's where I used to be a few years ago. And again, just a smaller area, a few hours south of Vancouver. But we moved across the country a few years ago to Ontario, which is closer to Toronto.

[00:01:20] I'm about two hours away from Toronto in this teeny tiny town. And honestly, I like to stay here. So I have been quite separate from all of it. But it has been, I mean, from the sounds of it, quite an amazing thing.

[00:01:33] Yeah, because I know like watching on TV, you're like, wow, you did you ever think like the places you're like, two hours away from, they're now getting highlights. And now you have foreigners coming to your country. And they're so fascinated with your culture. Or is that just here in the USA? Because I know you've seen the, the tick tock videos and what the people who are from different countries who are just so fascinated and shell shocked about the things we probably take for granted here being in the United and North America.

[00:02:02] Yeah, absolutely.

[00:02:32] Canada is one of those countries where we have a lot of space and not as many people as other countries. We're very spacious compared to population. And I think people are always pretty amazed by that and how so many different ecosystems can be in one country. Yeah, it's really amazing. And I'm like, in my head, I'm saying to myself, do you people not get cold? Because it's like, I've seen pictures of Canada in my birthday month of December. And I'm like, oh my goodness, I feel bad for them.

[00:03:02] Yeah, we learned to live it up in the summer, definitely. And it's only warm enough for like two months, two and a half months out of the year to even go swimming and things. It's very, very different. But we're very, very in tune with all the seasons, like, especially in areas like I'm in now. Spring is very spring. Summer is very hot, humid. There's bugs, there's swimming, there's, it's all sorts of things. It's amazing. And then fall is extreme. It's beautiful. The colors everywhere are stunning. It's one of my favorite things.

[00:03:31] And then winter is extra wintry, for sure. Absolutely. But we get to experience all four seasons, which is something that I've always learned to appreciate. I don't know if I could live somewhere that doesn't have that change regularly. Although the winter gets hard and long, I will say that.

[00:03:49] Yeah, and honestly, living in Florida, I can tell it's winter because I see all the Canadian tags, all the Canadian snowbirds that don't flock down to Florida. Shout out to them, you know, they don't flock down to Florida.

[00:04:04] I know Florida is warm. And I know certain parts of Florida only get all four seasons. And I like I tell everybody, the only part of Florida that gets all four seasons is North Florida. So if you want to go like Jacksonville to Tallahassee, those areas, you're definitely going to get all four seasons.

[00:04:21] That's so lovely. It's you know, it's a state I've never been to. And I have I have a couple coaching clients down there. I have a few friends down there. And now that we live more Eastern and on on the Eastern side, and you and I are in the same time zone now because of that, I would love to come down and experience Florida.

[00:04:38] Florida, but there's so many nature spots that I would love to see. You guys have my favorite animal in the whole world that I would love to just experience. I'm a big fan of the manatee. It's my favorite animal and I've never seen one like in the wild. I've been able to I think I saw one once as a kid in an aquarium and I just stayed there with my face against the glass the whole time. Wow, wow, wow. Yeah, you definitely got to come see them in the wild. They even got a county named after man. So shout out to Bradenson.

[00:05:05] And so but let's get into it. Pour up your drinks if you haven't done so already. Talk to me about the next level university and how did how did you get that started? Yeah, absolutely. I will say I hear you can't touch the manatees. So I have to factor in like bail money when I come down to see you because I'm sure I'm going to get arrested. I'm going to hug one so bad. Oh, they look so sweet. And I hear you're not allowed to touch them, which is like ruining my life a little bit. But we'll see.

[00:05:32] So like you said, I I partner with a company called Next Level University and they themselves are are two incredible men who found this company and they're down in the States. I've been able to travel to the States more now since partnering with this company and they founded this company nine years ago and it started off as a podcast once a week, then twice a week, then five days a week.

[00:05:55] And now Next Level University is a seven day a week podcast. And it has built into this incredible company that offers a wide variety of services that are all dedicated to personal development and growth for the sake of your success. And we work a lot with podcasters, business owners, but as well as people who are looking to just be and feel more holistically successful and fulfilled.

[00:06:20] And so when I started listening to them and falling in love with their their journey and what they had to offer and things about four years ago, I became a part of their community. I started going to book club, free masterclass and eventually became a client and was being coached by them and was working with them. And one day I had sent one of my speeches over to Alan Lazarus. He's our CEO, computer engineer, business major, genius.

[00:06:49] The fact that I have access to this man's brain, honestly, is such a privilege. I sent him my speech one day because before Next Level University, I was doing a lot of work in women's health and natural wellness and things. And I had given a keynote speech called holistic healing for your hormones. And I wanted some genuine and authentic feedback on that. And it's really hard to get feedback on on public speaking because most people are just so excited and impressed that you're up there.

[00:07:17] And so to get actual feedback is challenging. And so as a fellow public speaker, he gave me some feedback and he was like, you know what? You're such an aligned member of our community. We love you. You love us. What would you think about coming down down to the States there in Massachusetts? And they asked me to come down and emcee their live event and help them put on an event dedicated to personal development for the day.

[00:07:44] And I was like, oh, I don't know how to do that, but absolutely. I would love to come down and help you with that. Emcee for the day. See more of what you guys are about. Meet you guys in person, of course. And everything just grew from there. And now we, the three of us, do group coaching together. It's one of my very biasedly favorite things because you get to be exposed to all three of us. And I get to work closely with the guys. Kevin Palmieri is our other leader and co-founder in this space.

[00:08:14] And I have my own coaching program and practice through them. We still do masterclasses, book clubs and things. And like I said, we just work with a lot of podcast business owners and people who are just dedicated to growing themselves into their version of success. And it's been a wild ride, but I've been then with them now for just about four years. Interesting. Interesting. Um, shout out to them for one of the podcasts every day.

[00:08:40] Um, now I've experienced that where I've had runs where a lot of people booked in one week and I've literally recorded every day, but I don't mean I dropped the episode on that day, but you know, so shout out to them. Cause that's, that's the next level of dedication right there, you know, but I manifest that for myself to have one day. I'm getting paid from this shit. I put up so every day if I'm getting paid from it, you know? So, so what made you want to align with them?

[00:09:05] Is it because you enjoyed the coaching or is it because you said you want to give back? Hmm. All of the above and more. Sure. I fell in love with what they stood for. So when I first started with this company, we talked a lot about holistic self-improvement. We were a company of holistic self-improvement and we don't use that language as much anymore because no one knows what the heck we're talking about. So we say personal development and success, but holistic self-improvement, holistic meaning everything affects everything else.

[00:09:34] And they were talking about how you can be successful in health, wealth, quality of life and your love and relationships and things and how they all go together. They're not separate. And I was so pinged and primed to hear that because I myself had fallen in love with the word holistic. I even just said the presentation that I sent to Alan was called holistic healing for your hormones. I fell in love with the word holistic on my healing journey. I used to be very, very sick.

[00:10:02] I grew up with chronic illness and understanding the principles of holistic being everything affects everything else. I deeply believe is how I was able to become healthier and thrive in life because I understood that my internal environment was a community and everything affects everything else. And then your external environment is a community that interacts with that and they go together. And to think of it all as separate and your body as separate pieces and things is just a big gap in awareness.

[00:10:32] And so now here are these guys talking about that word and that principle, holistic, but for success, for life. And that really, really spoke to me. And just two very integrous, heart-driven, healthy masculines in the world are very, they've just spoke to me quite a bit, not only with the work, but the energy they were putting out. Because I feel like it's an energy that's really needed in the world as well.

[00:10:58] And I knew that tying my boat to their ship was a very aligned decision to do because I knew, like you said, I would be able to help more people and have more of an impact for sure. So I am now what's known as an intrapreneur in their entrepreneurial thing that they have built. That's wonderful. That's definitely wonderful.

[00:11:21] Staying with holistic health, I hear a lot of people saying that holistic health is the way to go because, well, you know, here in America, it's like healthcare is, you know, capitalistic, you know, meaning that they're not going to tell you everything what's going on with you just so that way they can get a profit. Let's just be honest. So talk to me about the holistic journey and when did you, at what point were you like, I need to start making some changes? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, Canada's, we're no better, genuinely.

[00:11:52] It's, I mean, there's a huge aspect of one, they can't patent and profit off of nature. So I do believe that there's an aspect there, but also I just think that the, all the different modalities of health and wellness don't play well together. And I wish that they would. I wish that, you know, the doctors, you know, like, Hey, maybe going to massage and chiropractor and this naturopathic doctor could help you first rather than these extreme measures.

[00:12:19] Or what I just wish they all played well together and that we had more just power of information of what is out there. But we also need to take our own responsibility and be responsible humans and make sure that we know what is out there and we know what our options are. And to, to make sure we're getting all of the information and to not just be a passenger in the journey of our health, but be the driver.

[00:12:43] And that is something I learned along the way as well, because I spent a lot of the beginning of my journey being very, very sick as the passenger along the journey of being told what to do, what to take. I had so many surgeries, all sorts of different pain medications, hormonal interventions and things. And I wish someone had one told me that there was a huge cost to doing all of that for so long. Like my guts were a wreck by the time I started changing things over.

[00:13:13] I am now on a really high cancer watch list because of all of the hormonal drugs and things I was on when I was younger. Like I have really high risk of breast cancer and different things because of those medications. And I was really, really young, you know, 17, 18 at the time when I really started in that kind of journey. And I wish more people had told me, but I also, it took until my early 20s for me to be more empowered in that and to just make different choices.

[00:13:40] In my early 20s was when I stopped everything. I said, I need to stop everything and just get to know my body again. I still have all my symptoms. I still have all sorts of pain. And yet I now have all of these side effects from all of these different things that I'm on that are supposed to be helping me. And so I just went off of everything and just started from scratch and got to know my body again. And I myself was in school for anatomy and physiology at the time as well. So I had just learned so much and I just got curious.

[00:14:07] I got curious about what it would be to go to different kinds of physical therapies like physiotherapy, like chiropractor, like acupuncture. And I met a really incredible naturopathic doctor who really helped me paint a picture of holistic within my body, how it wasn't just about this one piece of my body that my hormones are directed and correlated by and things. It's your gut health. It's your liver function. It's your stress. It's your sleep.

[00:14:34] It's all of these things that play into hormonal dysfunction in women. And when I started supporting all of those systems, I started to feel so much better. And as I felt better and as I had more capacity to do more, see more and take on more, I learned about your external environment and how when you're on a health journey, that plays a huge role in all of our health, whether we want to be proactive or reactive. It plays a huge role in our health as well.

[00:15:03] And so, again, that holistic aspect of everything affects everything else. And it sounds overwhelming and daunting to tackle everything all at once. And I never recommend doing that. That's not sustainable, nor is it even monetarily feasible for most of us. But to start with one and just progress your way in. I mean, people always want to know, well, Amy, what was the one thing that got you healthy, that got you pain free? It was a decade of unsexy fundamentals compounded over time consistently.

[00:15:33] Of course, of course. Of course, I'm glad to hear that you've recovered. We're going to pray that the cancer don't come back, you know. And also, and if it does, I hope you get on flight to Turkey or to another country. Because the one thing I'm seeing is people saying you've got to leave North America to get the best health care. They're literally promoting health care tourism now to Canadians.

[00:16:00] We'll put up like an all-inclusive bundle, but for health and like to these wellness centers in other countries. They're not taking you down to Mexico for margaritas and pools anymore. It's, hey, would you like to come to our wellness center as an all-inclusive package? I mean, that's pretty an amazing thing. But it is a little sad and disappointing that we can't do that within our own countries yet. It is sad.

[00:16:24] But then when you look at the cost of it compared to going to all these places in America, it's like, damn, I might as well just go ahead and get on a flight. Then go ahead and get my passport and get on a flight. Then because I'm coming out way cheaper and then I'll have more money left over going there than versus dealing with America. Whereas they're not going to tell you everything. You know, they're going to sugarcoat things. They're not going to break everything down to you.

[00:16:51] But shout out to the doctors that do, though, because there are some that there are far in between. But, you know, it's sad world we live out here. Yeah, I mean, in every business, in every company, in everything, there are the people that are there for the right reasons. For sure. There are always good doctors out there and people who do care and incredible nurses and, oh my gosh, so many things. And genuinely, that system has saved my life. It's just a very reactive system. That's all.

[00:17:20] It's just not as proactive and as wellness-oriented as other systems. We have all of these other systems in place and these other modalities and things. It just takes our awareness to go and tap into those. Yes, it definitely takes our awareness. And also, once you're aware, you just got to make the actions. You got to make things happen. You can't have no excuses because health is wealth. And, you know, without health, you can't really do nothing. So we can't take our health for granted because, trust me, I was in the hospital last month. I was like, I wasn't too happy to be there.

[00:17:50] And I was like, you know what? I know things happen, but it's like I'm glad that they found what they found and it was nothing else. So I'm like blessed. But at the same time, I'm like, you know, we always on the go and stuff. Having a few days to just rest is like, yeah. But it's a humbling experience. It is. And I'm so sorry to hear that. But you're right. Health is your wealth.

[00:18:14] Because as much as we have these priorities in our life and we think everything is urgent and important and lots of things are, the second your health takes a hit, everything else doesn't matter. You don't have. Yes, of course. You can't take care of the other things that you want to take care of if you yourself are not taken care of.

[00:18:31] And so that's always been a big lens in a lot of the coaching and the speaking and things that I've done is learning to reduce your stress and to make sure that you are doing things that invest in you, that fill your cup so that you're not constantly giving from this empty space where you are going to burn yourself to the ground and you are going to get sick. You're actually giving from a space of fulfillment, of having a full cup that you can authentically and genuinely pour out where you're giving what's best of you instead of constantly just giving what's left of you.

[00:19:01] It's an entirely different energy in those two categories. Of course. Of course. You got to. Because I've learned the hard way. Bernie, it will burn yourself out giving for always giving to others and then the people looking back. Yeah, that will definitely burn yourself out. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Liquor Talk. The more you drink, the better we sound. Shout out to everybody that's tuned in on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, YouTube. And shout out to our friends at Podmatch. And also, thank you once again to Podmatch. Shout out to everybody that's come through from Podmatch.

[00:19:30] And to the people that's rejected us on Podmatch, well, we forgive you. Just keep that same energy, you know. So shifting over to personal growth and stuff. So what are the three gears in the internal success engine you believe that creates success in people's goals? Absolutely. So external success really does have an internal component. We can only get so far as our identity is going to allow us.

[00:19:58] We can only get so far as the level of self-belief, self-worth, our ability to be consistent can get us. And, I mean, if we had to choose one, self-belief for sure is the shining star of the three. People with self-belief tend to be more successful. And people who learn to build self-belief along the way also tend to be more successful. And success meaning in your relationships, in your health, in your wealth, whatever that looks like to you,

[00:20:26] it's true across any success journey, true across the board. Self-belief is your ability to believe that you can create an external outcome. You can create a tangible result in the world. It's your self-efficacy. It's your competency, your capabilities. It's your belief in yourself that you can figure something out. People always hear that and they think, well, when people know how to do something, that's amazing. It's not about knowing how to do everything. I don't know how to do everything.

[00:20:54] But I have high self-belief in that I know I can figure it out. I can go learn and implement. I can ask someone and implement. I can have Alan invite me down to the States and say, hey, we're putting on this event. You want to emcee for us even though you've only ever talked on women's health on totally different stages. But come down here and do this. Me saying yes and not knowing what that entailed or how to even do that, that's a high self-belief moment. It's believing in your ability to figure it out.

[00:21:24] And people think when I say those things that you're born with it or you're not. We either have high self-belief or you don't. Self-belief is built and it is something that you can build every day. And if you take anything from this episode, self-belief is the one I want you to focus on because it is, again, just a through line of success. It really is. If you believe that you can figure something out when a hiccup comes your way, when an opportunity comes your way, you're going to just say yes more and be more successful.

[00:21:53] And so to build self-belief, it's a really simple formula. It doesn't mean it's always easy all the time, but it's a simple formula of state-proof self-assign. Say you're going to do something, get it done, no matter what. Keep the promise you make to yourself, get it done. And then have that moment of assigning into yourself that you did the thing you said you were going to do. I love to-do lists for this. Have three things on a list every day. Again, if you do this every day, the more your self-belief is going to compound over time.

[00:22:23] Small things every day is the way, for sure. And so to-do list of three things. And every time you get that thing done, you cross it off, that's your moment of, hey, I did the thing I said I was going to do. Nice. I wrote it down. That's your state. That's you saying you're going to do something. Laundry. I'm going to do laundry today. You get it done. You go, you do the laundry, you get it done. And then you self-assign by crossing it off. Hey, I did the thing I said I was going to do today. Nice.

[00:22:50] And I used laundry as an example on purpose because most people are doing amazing things for themselves, their family, their household, and their businesses, their companies, their coworkers. They're doing things every day that could be building self-worth for them. But they're not self-assigning it as something of worthy to note of something that is going to build into their self-belief, for sure. So that's where I would start. Of course, of course. And also, what do you say about being delusional?

[00:23:19] Because sometimes self-belief, you got to be a little delusional to believe that it's going to work out right. Because there's some people I talk to them, it's like, where's your delusion at? Because there's some people that's told me over the years, you need to do this to do that. I sound crazy enough to believe that I can work things out. So do you believe that you have to be a little delusional in order to have self-belief?

[00:23:41] I don't know if I believe you have to be, but I do believe that having high self-belief automatically puts you as someone who can be delusionally optimal. We like to be very optimistic would be the word that I'm actually looking for there. So we're delusionally optimistic all the time of, we don't want just three things on a checklist. We're actually going to put down 10 because I can get shit done. So we put 10 and then we actually get humbled really, really quickly.

[00:24:10] Oh my gosh, I could only do three. But I thought I could do 10 because I have belief in myself. So with high self-belief, I think comes a bit of natural, just delusional optimism. You know, it definitely depends, but I definitely say that. I feel like you put down three things and then you get them done. And then you look at everything else as a bonus until you get to that point of adding on slowly and adding on slowly.

[00:24:36] Because if you start to do 10 and you want to get three done, you'll see it as a failure. But I feel like over time, if you start with three and then add slow increments, then you'll be more successful. And because, hey, we can all get shit done, you know. It's just a matter of time. Yeah, absolutely. And that is where a lot of people need to start. Now, some of us are really, again, those delusional optimists who just need to get humble pie all the time. But that's okay.

[00:25:03] It doesn't break us down as people because we have high self-belief. It's okay. It's like, oh, yeah, no, couldn't do that. Oh, yeah, no, no big deal. If you struggle with self-belief, it's an entirely different language. It's an entirely different process. You can't constantly be humbled all the time. You're going to get defeated and you're not going to try anymore. So the language of high self-belief versus the language of low self-belief is very, very different. I'm having two different conversations with those two different people.

[00:25:29] And that's why I think it's really important to be a conscious coach and to understand that your language is not the language of others or the people that you're trying to help and serve. It's being able to understand what their language is and communicate it in that way. That's the sign of a great communicator and a great coach. And so low self-belief, you want to really lean into sustainability, which is what you're talking about, which is also a key point of one of those those gears that you opened with there. The self-belief, self-worth and consistency.

[00:26:00] Consistency cannot be done without sustainability. I can't put 10 things on a to-do list today and expect to be consistent with that all the time if that's not within my capacity or even my day-to-day life to do so. I have kids. I homeschool. We have pets. We have all of these amazing things in my life, but it keeps my day very full. And if I try and add 10 things in off the bat, what a disaster. It's not sustainable. I'm not going to be consistent in it whatsoever. So consistency demands sustainability.

[00:26:27] And that is, like you said, starting with the three that you can get done and then build as your capacity builds. Then you're building self-belief and you're building your capacity and things. So sustainability is a really key point across the board for sure. Yes, it definitely is. You definitely got to be sustainable. And also because people always wonder, like, even with podcasts, like, how can you be consistent? You got to be sustainable. You got to set realistic goals and also you got to connect with the right people as well.

[00:26:55] Also, you do say that growth doesn't always feel good. So talk to me about the parts of growth that don't feel good because trust me, I've been served humble pie and it's not a good feeling. Well, actually, that's a really beautiful segue into that middle gear, which is self-worth. Self-worth work is like the epitome of discomfort now for greatness later. But it sucks now. It doesn't feel good.

[00:27:21] So if self-belief was those external results, you know, say I'm going to do something, I get it done. Self-worth is an internal game. If self-belief is with enough time and effort, I can build a house. Brick by brick, I can figure it out, build this house. Self-worth is do I even believe I'm worthy of living in the space that I've created? Do I take care of it well now that it has been built?

[00:27:45] Do I allow people to come in and spill red wine on the carpets and keep inviting them back even though they disrespect my space and me? Self-worth is that internal game of, you know, do I invest in myself? Do I have social courage? Do I hold boundaries? What are the standards I'm holding along the way of the journey to success? Because you can have self-belief all day. Say you want to build the business. You build the business. You can have that all day.

[00:28:10] But low self-worth is going to erode that success over time because maybe you're aligning yourself with not great people. That's going to affect your success. It's going to affect your goals. That's right. Right? And regardless, if you can't be consistent with any of these things, the whole engine slows down regardless because you need to be consistent over time all the time. The second consistency slows down, the other gears do too and so do your goals and your success.

[00:28:36] Because what people do is when they see a certain amount of momentum, they take their foot off the gas. They're not honoring all of the things that it took to get there. Somehow they like forget that and they take their foot off the gas and they're like, oh no, why are my results leaving? Because you're not still doing the things that got you the result. You need to keep going. It is a cycle that needs to keep going. There's two people, people who give up when it's easy. They let their gas off the brake. They've reached a certain level of comfort.

[00:29:05] Or there's people who give up when it's hard and they don't give themselves the, okay, it's a hard day, but tomorrow I can do better or whatever that looks like to you. Self-worth work feels terrible. It's you acknowledging that you've been people-pleasing your whole life and you don't know what it means to stand as a solo person and what that looks like. It's accepting that you have allowed people to walk all over you and that you don't even have boundaries, let alone know what they are or how to implement them.

[00:29:36] That doesn't feel good to sit with for a moment. When you sit with, okay, this has cost me certain things in my life because I had these fears, these beliefs, these discomforts unconsciously running me. But now that I've pulled them conscious, I have more control over that now. I can choose to have more social courage and be my authentic self or to hold a boundary or to, I mean, insert thing here that you struggle with. But that doesn't feel good in the moment.

[00:30:05] You haven't held boundaries your whole life. The first one you hold, your whole nervous system is going to freak out. It is not going to feel good to hold that boundary. It's like, oh my gosh, are they going to get mad? Am I going to lose love? Am I going to be ostracized from the group? There's so many fears that come up where it feels easier to just allow the people to keep the relationship going that you originally had. The people who are benefiting from you not having any boundaries. And it's not always a malicious thing.

[00:30:31] It's just they have become used to the person that you have been for them. And so that is, that's a lot of discomfort along the way. But a true success journey has a lot of building. You're building momentum. You're building skills. You're putting stuff out into the world. That all feels really, really exciting. The construction part feels good and feels exciting. But there's a whole deconstruction component that I wish people would get just as excited about, even though it feels hard.

[00:30:59] Because that's when you deconstruct the things that aren't serving the result that you're trying to get, the life that you want to build. That creates a more solid foundation when you deconstruct all the things that are creating a crumbly foundation. Deconstruct those. You build something in with true identity, self-worth, self-belief. All of the things, your core values and stuff. And you build from there on a way more solid foundation. Of course, you definitely got to deconstruct. Because sometimes you got to unlearn some things. You got to undo some things.

[00:31:29] Because adulthood, when you learn the same things for yourself, it's a lot differently than taking it from the perspective of a parent. So, yeah, I would definitely say you got to deconstruct. And once you do, things definitely turn up. Things definitely get better. And I know it's not an easy path. I know it's not the most exciting thing to do. But if something you do now, you'll look up and be grateful later. And also, if people get mad at you for your boundaries, it just means those people weren't meant to be there. You know? Because the real ones are going to respect your boundaries.

[00:32:00] That's right. And I think people get boundaries and other things confused. You go on the internet and you see people ranting and raving about, Oh, this person didn't respect my boundary. I told them they couldn't do that and they did it again anyways. And you're setting rules. Rules dictate other people. But at the end of the day, you can't control other people. If I'm in an argument with someone and they start yelling at me and calling me names, I can yell back until the cows come home,

[00:32:29] Hey, don't do that. Knock it off. Stop speaking to me that way. They kind of still can. They still can. And they probably will. You would hope that they would not speak to you that way or at least stop when you bring it up. But at the end of the day, you can't control other people. Boundaries control you and your behavior. A rule says, Hey, you can't do that. Knock it off. We all know rules can be broken.

[00:32:56] A boundary is, Hey, if you keep speaking to me that way, I am going to leave this conversation. That's a boundary. Yes. And also another way to respond to a boundary is just get silent. Just already leave the conversation because people, they do those things to get a reaction out of you. But then when they see they can't, then they'll be like, Oh, I must have really messed up. Absolutely. And the hard part is, is you have to honor it.

[00:33:25] If they continue to rant and rave and call you names and all the things you have to say, Okay, I gave you your opportunity. You continue to speak to me this way. I'm going to leave the conversation and you have to go. And that's tough. It really can be for certain personality types and things. For others, there's a couple personality types that just, they're so good at it. Boundaries are like embedded into their DNA. It's amazing. So if that's you, what I'm saying doesn't resonate with you at all. You already are so good at being like, I don't have to stand here. I can just walk away.

[00:33:54] Why would anyone stand there? There's a whole group of us over here that would stand there forever. We have to learn to hold the boundaries. And it's really, really challenging for us to do so, but it is worth it. It definitely is worth it because it's also, it's like, whether it's family or professional or whatever, you know, I will say the hardest boundaries are divorce with family because then you'll have your certain family's like, hey, that's the elder of the family. You don't have to do that. I don't give a damn if they're elder of the family.

[00:34:24] Look, you ain't helping me now as an adult. So I'm not about to take this from you. It is the closer to home the relationships are, the more challenging it is to have the boundaries. And so I always have my people who really struggle with it. We do it with people who aren't as important to their immediate life. First, we do it with the easy ones. First, keep regulating their nervous system to understanding that, hey, I held the boundary and I didn't die, basically, because that's what your nervous system is freaking out about.

[00:34:54] And then you move on from there. But yeah, the ones closest to home, spouses, parents and things like that, that's where it gets really, really challenging. Yes, it does. Now, going back to understanding yourself. So how does understanding yourself on a deeper level going to serve you? Because I feel like if you can't understand you, how in the world are you going to understand others? And also, how are you going to convey yourself to others and help others understand you?

[00:35:23] Yeah, I think self-awareness is a superpower. I really do. I mean, there's personal development, social development and professional development. Those are three like major things. And yes, they all go together. But if you're really strong in personal development, you're going to understand how you show up with others and the world within social situations, professional situations, economically. There's something to be said about, like you said, understanding yourself.

[00:35:51] And it is just, again, this superpower. The more you understand about you, how you're wired, the way you run, the things you value, the awareness you have around what you say, think, do, feel, believe, and how a lot of that is unconscious until we bring it conscious. And then we have more control to be the driver's seat of our own life and the direction that we want to go. That is a superpower.

[00:36:19] You cannot know enough about yourself. And then, like you said, how you show up with others and in the world. Of course, of course. Now, going back to nature, you do talk about honoring your cycle of nature. What does that mean? And how does the change in what goes and that we set up or show up? Hmm. So this is for my ladies. Understand. Shout out to the ladies. This one's for y'all. So, hey, don't say I don't do nothing for y'all, but continue.

[00:36:49] This is for my ladies. However, I do believe there is such a valuable component for men to understand this as well. We, I mean, as men, you have important women in your life, daughters, spouses, mothers, like you have people in your life who this information pertains to. So I do think it's very, very valuable for men as well because the more women are supported and understood in this, I deeply believe the better the world can be. But when it comes to women, we're very cyclical beings.

[00:37:19] You guys as men, you're on a 24-hour clock hormonally. You're like the sun. You rise and fall at different times, the same time every day. You're like the sun. 24-hour clock in your hormones. That's you. We are slightly different every day and noticeably different week to week to week for about 26 to 34 days, depending on the woman. And that cycle runs constantly.

[00:37:44] And what's fascinating is women who don't understand this don't understand a huge piece of themselves. Like I just said, self-awareness is a superpower and this is a piece of that. If you understand that some weeks you are set up to absolutely crush your goals, be consistent, be more articulate, be more social, and in the other weeks you're not.

[00:38:08] You are not mentally, physically, emotionally set up as well for that kind of success. You have so much more grace and understanding about your life. I have my ladies who crush their habits. We do a lot of habit tracking. We're very big on the compound effect habit tracking to get to your goals every day. And some days, just like myself, some days, some weeks, I absolutely crush. I have so much energy to bring to it. I can lift heavier weights. I can do greater things. I can be more articulate. My memory is better.

[00:38:38] I am way better on podcasts during certain weeks than I am on others. But I can't stop my whole life because I'm in these other seasons. But I can bring a level of grace and understanding. I can look at my life and say, hey, a week ago I absolutely crushed that podcast. That was amazing. This week it wasn't as great, but it's because I wasn't set up for success to do so.

[00:39:06] I am now more in an introspective season. I am more set up for organization and being aware of my environment and my own physical needs and things. There's a season where you're very external and then a season where you turn very internal. And what's great, I can pull on the repetitions. The more you do something, the more skill you have and capabilities you have in it. So I can show up on a podcast and it's not obvious what season I'm in.

[00:39:35] I can tell because I can pull on the reps. But there is a level of, could you imagine if I shamed myself? Oh, I was amazing last week. I suck this week. There's something wrong with me. And that's what I see in a lot of women. They'll be like, you know, I crushed my habits last week. I stuck to my diet. This, this, this, this, and this. I was able to get all of my back office work done and things. And now this week I feel like a potato. It's not working. I suck. I'm the problem.

[00:40:04] You're just missing a piece of information that you could just, that would just help you give yourself so much grace and understanding. Again, you are different day to day. You are very different week to week. And certain seasons have certain superpowers. Of course. Of course. Different seasons have different superpowers. But, and us, us, man, we go through those phases as well. We just, but somehow we've managed to show up. Even, even on days that we don't feel like we managed to show up.

[00:40:31] But, but I would tell the men, if there are those days where you don't show up, it's going to still be there. You know, we just got to take a day to rest, you know? You know, because that's all about, because it's all about knowing yourself. It goes back to knowing yourself that knows that there are some days, because I didn't feel the same way about hosting the podcast. Like, there are some episodes where I'm like, okay, we're guilty on this episode. But then there's some episodes where I'm like, I ain't getting nothing from this damn guest. And I'm like, and I, and I got kind of fed off that energy.

[00:41:00] So it's like, so I feel you. I definitely get it. I definitely get it. But, um, now how do you stay consistent in all that? Because that's the, that's the major key. Like, because sometimes being consistent also is also about, um, doing the things you don't want to do, even when you don't feel like it. Hmm. Yeah, that's a great segue into consistency. It really is. Because there are days where we are, you know, we've had a great sleep life and the day is going great.

[00:41:28] And, you know, things feel easier. That's great. Then there's the days where you didn't get enough sleep. The day is already off the rails. Maybe you woke up, the kids are sick, the, you know, insert situation here. Life is very reactive. And so I think people, one who struggle with perfectionism struggle with consistency because they want to be able to do it well all the time. They struggle to embrace progress over perfection quite a bit. And that used to be me genuinely for sure.

[00:41:58] If I couldn't do it great, I'm not doing it at all because what's the point? Such a mistake, such a mistake. So to be consistent, you need to have a level of acceptance that the day is very reactive. There's lots going on. There's chaos all the time. Stuff is busy. Life itself is busy. How can you insert sustainability into something that you are trying to do every day? If you want to start a new habit, maybe it's working out. Maybe it's sending more emails.

[00:42:26] You don't want to go from, well, I typically send no emails a day to 20 and expect yourself to be able to keep going. You want to kick it to five first. Sustainability first. Like you can always grow. You can always add more. We talked about that with self-belief. You can always add more, but get your system, your day, your environment regulated to the five emails, right? And then you can up it and then you can up it. People just go too far.

[00:42:54] They go from zero to 10, convince themselves that they suck or the thing isn't for them. And then they go back to zero. You want to lean into sustainability as much as possible, which takes a huge level of humility. You have to have actual accurate self-awareness to be able to understand what is sustainable in your life. You want to create a habit that honors the life that you have right now, but with enough time is going to compound into the life that you want later.

[00:43:23] Consistency and the compound effect demand time. And that time fluctuates with energy, right? You can't give 100% every day, but if you have 30%, you can give 100% of that 30%. Your 100% looks different every day. And some days, like you said, you just got to get it done. Grit is a huge component to consistency. Grit is that F my feeling moment. I said, I was going to do this thing. I'm going to get it done.

[00:43:50] Even if it's a check the box version of the habit. Yes, it does. And also it's like, and nothing is, and if getting things done requires you to drop certain people, then you got to drop them, you know, because, um, during the podcast is like, I've had guests say they want to do it, but guess what? They didn't show up. So guess what? Someone else did. So shout out to the people that did show up, you know, because this is not easy being consistent, especially when your life is chaotic.

[00:44:16] So what's something you would tell people who talk to you who say, my life is just chaotic and stuff. And I can't be consistent because to me, it sounds like excuses, but what do you think? Yeah. I mean, it is at the end of the day, it is an excuse for sure, but it's also beliefs. It's beliefs. It's also, are you putting too much time and effort into things that don't matter? People are so busy right now. Everything's about being busy. How was your weekend? Oh, we were so busy here, here, here, here, here.

[00:44:46] It's like a status symbol with how busy you can be. It means you're the most successful. Busy doing what? Like if you're busy and your life is full of all the amazing things that you're doing to compound into things that you really believe in, that's amazing. I love that for you. Most people are just doing busy work. It's just busy work. That's not actually going to compound into anything over time. It's taking too much from them and not giving back in any kind of way. And so I just have people do an audit. We audit their life. What are things that are keeping you busy that don't matter?

[00:45:15] What are things that are keeping you busy that aren't even for you, your dream? They're an external pressure. They're an external expectation. They're a belief that was put on you a long time ago that isn't even yours anymore. It comes down to teaching people what their priorities are, allowing them to do that time audit and see where their time and energy is going in places that they don't even want it to be going. Now, I'm not saying we always want to do things.

[00:45:43] I don't always want to do the laundry. I don't always want to even show up for work and things like this. It pulls a little extra effort to come in some days and put myself together and show up like this now I'm always lit up and motivated and excited when I get here. But I think too many people are going off of feelings too. It's like, well, I don't feel like it. Rarely are we going to feel like it. Motivation is so fleeting.

[00:46:10] If you're relying on motivation, you will not be consistent and you will not succeed over time. Motivation is great. It's amazing when we have it, but it cannot be a reliable part of the equation. And what people don't remember is that the result that you're looking to get is the last piece of the equation. It's the last piece of the equation.

[00:46:33] It needs to dictate what all leads up to it, but there's so much that needs to be done to lead up to it. And if you don't have the time and energy to do it, but you really want the result, we just need to let go of some things that aren't serving the result and bring in some things that are, again, in a really, really sustainable way that honors the season that you are in in life. For example, we talked about the guys earlier who I work with. Their life is entirely different than my life.

[00:47:03] They don't have children yet. They don't like, I do so many things within my day that they don't have. So their work life looks very different than my life. The things that I do for the company and the things that I take on and the amount of clients that I take on is very indicative of the life that I have now and the seasons that I want to honor now. I'm building a foundation that as my children need me less, I can now work more. But right now, I'm still in a season of heavy motherhood, of homeschooling and all of these things.

[00:47:33] So how can you implement a habit that honors the season you're in, but if you do it for enough time, it's going to compound into the result that you want? Of course, of course. Of course. So what's something you would tell your clients who do go through the chaotic times? Because you could tell when somebody's going through it. You could tell when someone's just stressed out and they're going through the chaotic times and stuff. And I always tell people, tough times don't last forever, but tough people do.

[00:48:01] So what do you say to the clients who are going through the chaotic times? Absolutely. Tough people do. And the tough times are what create the tough people. So I think we need to embody and embrace it as part of the journey. If people don't understand that there's hard days along the way, like the ride includes hard days, hard moments, they're going to get off the ride too soon. And so, yeah, there are always seasons of reactivity in life. People get sick. Jobs change.

[00:48:31] There's some big things that happen in life that you don't have full control over and stuff. So it's about controlling yourself in that chaos and having the humility to delete more things if you need to. We call it delete, delegate, and double down. Delete the things that don't matter in this chaotic storm that you're in. I've been seasoned. So I have a habit tracker that I track all sorts of things we all do at Next Level University. It's a part of our culture, a part of our team culture and things we have.

[00:49:00] Habit trackers. And if we're interested in our finances, our fitness, it's all on this tracker. My bank stuff's on this tracker. My weight, my weights, all the things I do, plus the habits I'm dedicated to doing every day. The second my day-to-day life changes or gets more chaotic, I'm going to that thing and taking off some of the habits that are now not as important. But I keep the ones that really, really are. I try my best to keep the ones that are, but I still want to honor the season that I'm in.

[00:49:28] Because again, you can't be consistent and get to the goal if you're burning yourself to the ground and can't navigate everything that you're doing. And so we call it delete, delegate, double down. What can you delete? What can you delegate? Where can you ask for help? Or if you're so, so lucky right now to hire someone, you can delegate these tasks out so that you can double down on the things that you're good at, the things that matter the most to you. Right?

[00:49:57] Like we have an amazing 23-person team behind us that does all these amazing things that we get to delegate certain tasks to. So I get to show up and do the thing that I'm great at, this front-facing kind of work. Right? Delete, delegate, double down. Yes. Delete, delegate, double down. Trust me. Those things definitely happen. And especially if you're on a one-man wrecking crew, you know, at some point you got to open

[00:50:23] it up to other people, you know, because, you know, you can be successful all by yourself, but you're going to be burnt out a whole lot more. So sometimes it's okay to delegate things. But how do you know the right people to delegate to? Because what I've learned over the years is people have the experience, but sometimes it's like they just don't want it or they're just not good at what they do. Yeah.

[00:50:47] It's an incredible skill to develop is understanding who your people are and who your people aren't. The more you know about yourself, I think really helps with this. If you know your core values, like at NLU, we have core values as a team. We have core values as people. And we know that people who don't align with those core values, for example, people wanting to work hard to earn their way. We don't believe in entitlement. We don't believe in things like that.

[00:51:17] I mean, we even have this thing, we call it unmedzi, and it's just this, oh, what's the word where you just use the front letter, the beginning letter? Anagram? Is it an anagram? I think it's an anagram. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. It's escaping me, but it's unmedzi. And those are all the first letters of whatever the word is that I'm looking for.

[00:51:43] But we literally filter people through their unmedzi score, we call it. And unmedzi stands for unstable, naive, manipulative, entitled, delusional, significance-driven, arrogant, and insecure. People with high-end medzi scores are not for us. But we typically don't even attract them because they hate us, too. If you're entitled, let's say, and you hear Kevin Allen and myself talk about how you have

[00:52:12] to work hard for the things that you want, and it is about the unsexy fundamentals applied every day over enough time to get the result that you want. And people with high-end medzi scores don't like that kind of language, so they typically don't even come into the community anyways. But knowing who your people are and who they are not starts with knowing who you are, for sure. Of course. So what kind of people are y'all looking to join the community?

[00:52:41] What kind of people are y'all looking forward to join your community? People who are growth-oriented, for sure. Looking to grow, looking to expand, who have humility, who have high work ethic. Those are the people that enjoy us the most, for sure. And it doesn't matter what age people join us, or is it any age? Because some people may feel like, hey, it's beyond me. But I'm like, you're never too old to learn, you know?

[00:53:11] No, not at all. I mean, we're working. We've got multiple people in their 60s and 70s within not only our community, but who are paying for services, like paying for coaching, paying for business. We produce an entire YouTube channel for a couple who are in their late 60s and 70s. Like, it's amazing. You are never too old to chase goals, grow yourself, build dreams, like at all.

[00:53:41] And we have people as young as early 20s as well. So it's very open, for sure. Wow. So y'all actually out here producing YouTube channels for people? That is amazing. You know it. Yeah, this podcast that they started with has built into an incredible company of service towards others. I mean, especially heart-driven people putting great things out into the world.

[00:54:10] We have services for them. And so we produce, there's a whole podcast production section of our company. So Kevin and Alan being the founders of Next Level University, Kevin's Mr. Podcast. He's the guy who runs the podcast production company, coaches on podcasting, speaks on podcasting, like Mr. Podcast. They themselves are almost at 2,500 episodes.

[00:54:35] And Kevin has been on, including his show and others, like over 4,000 shows. Like it's incredible. They have just dedicated their life to all of this through the lens of podcasting. It's amazing. And so we coach podcasters, produce their shows. We do a lot of social media work, YouTube channels, and, you know, even just like thumbnails and titles and advice on things like that. Our group coaching is a podcast accelerator program.

[00:55:04] It's 12 weeks. It's dedicated to, yes, grow yourself are always the first four weeks because that is your foundation. Your show is you. And so when you grow yourself and you understand where you are and, you know, your core wounds, your self-belief, all of these things. Now we have a foundation to build on. So it's grow yourself for the first four weeks, grow your podcast for the next four weeks. And the last four weeks is very heavy, Alan. It's grow your business, monetize, grow and scale. And like, that's one of my favorite things that we do because we're just working with

[00:55:34] people who have a voice for helping others in the world. And we want to see that. And so, yeah, we do all sorts of amazing things here. Oh, that's amazing. Shout out to Kevin. Shout out to the team. Like 2,500 episodes. That's a lot of episodes. That's a lot of dedication. Like, and I've had people telling me, hey, you pushing 400. Hey, congratulations on being there. And I'm like, yeah, I'm happy to be there.

[00:56:01] But at the same time, I'm looking like, damn, 2,500 episodes. That's where I've tried to get to. You know, we're going to get there. But that's a whole lot of dedication right there, you know. So, but hey, but sometimes you got to take the small wins when they come, you know. So that's the one thing that keeps myself going, you know. And I'll admit for a long time I've struggled to take the flowers. But now it's like, might as well take the flowers while they're coming, right? Yeah, absolutely. 400 episodes is a big deal.

[00:56:29] It seems right now that everyone and their dog has a podcast when in reality most shows don't get to 20 episodes. An even fewer percentage get to 50 and a very small percentage of podcasts go past 100 and beyond. Success in podcasting is a staying game. It really is. If you can be consistent for a long enough amount of time and niche down and add value, you will succeed over time. But also learning how to monetize and different things and what that looks like and how and

[00:56:58] what direction you want to go with that also really, really matters and helps support your longevity in the show if you can also bring an income in for it too. But it's a staying power game for sure. So good for you. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Income, that's the next goal. I'm already working on that. We got a website coming. We're already working on that as well. Sorry. I already talked to somebody about working on that. But that don't mean I'm going to stop talking to people about that. You know, if like they tell me something good, I'm going to get all options.

[00:57:28] Trust and believe that. So why should people want to be involved with next level coaching? Why should you? Well, if again, you want to talk about unsexy fundamentals and habit track, we're your people. No, but we deeply believe in success being a subjective word. Your version of success is unique to you. And we're just dedicated to helping you find what that means and reverse engineering what that looks like day to day to helping you get there.

[00:57:57] And in just this honoring your holistic nature, we want to make sure you're feeling success and health, wealth, quality of life and love. We now are more new marketing as fitness fan, family and finance. But I still am so I'm so biased for the holistic aspect, the self-improvement, the health, wealth, quality of life and love. But I'm going to evolve with the times. But I will still always talk about it that way because it's just it's so wholesome. It's so valuable.

[00:58:27] And there is just so much peace and passion, purpose and fulfillment to be had with that kind of mentality and with that kind of coaching. Of course. Of course. Now, how can the people get in touch with you? I'm a simple being. Like we said at the beginning, I don't have TikTok or anything like that. But I do have Instagram and Facebook. It's just at Amy Lennius. And we deeply believe in community and human connection now more than ever at Next Level University.

[00:58:55] And so if you reach out to me on either one of those platforms, it is me that you're getting. It's not an assistant. It's not an AI. It's me. And if you like this kind of conversation, I would love to have a conversation with you. But yes, yes, yes. Now, what is your call to action for people who have just been listening to this episode? And thank you for those people who, by the way, have been pouring out with us. So what's your call to action for the people out there? Yes. Thank you so much for being here and for listening. My call to action would be to understand that self-awareness is a superpower.

[00:59:24] I feel like that was the through line of the episode. The more you know about yourself, the more you're going to be able to be successful with others and in the world for sure. Also, also, thank you, Amy Linus, for blessing us with your presence. Shout out to everybody that's tuned in. I hope y'all are sipping on a good Canadian whiskey for this episode because this guest is up in Canada right now. So I hope y'all had yourself a good Canadian whiskey for this episode. And that is my drink for y'all. I recommend y'all find you a good one.

[00:59:53] There are more out there than you'd know of because I know everybody stick with the name brands, but support the little brands as well. Support the little Canadian brands as well. So once again, thank you, Amy, for blessing the Liquor Talk with your presence. Anytime you want to collaborate again or if you need another podcasting voice to lean on and talk to, I'm here holding it down in Florida. You can DM me at Liquor Talk Podcast. And like you, there's no AI. There's no assistant. It's going to be me you're getting as well.

[01:00:23] And thank you to our friends at Podmatch for providing this guest to us. Thank you to everybody that's tuned in to the Liquor Talk Podcast. Thank you for the next episode. Until the next episode, peace, y'all.