In this episode of "Talk to Me, Michele," we dive headfirst into the intricate dynamic of friendship and weddings with a segment dubbed "Friendship Friction." A listener seeks advice on dealing with a brewing conflict in her close-knit group after a couple from the group decides not to invite a friend's longtime girlfriend to their wedding. Navigating the challenges of maintaining harmony, we discuss the balance between respecting a couple's wishes and acknowledging a friend's feelings.
Then, we explore the liberating concept of "waking up" with a spotlight on Tina Knowles. After eight years of marriage, Tina Knowles captures attention with her decision to embrace personal happiness by choosing peace over performance. This segment delves into societal pressures, the courage it takes to prioritize self-love, and why being single can be a powerful, fulfilling choice.
We wrap up with a deep dive into the broader theme of awakening and self-discovery, encouraging listeners to tune into their needs and desires. Whether it's breaking free from a relationship that no longer serves you or stepping into a new chapter of self-acceptance, this episode urges everyone to embrace their truth and live boldly.
00:00:00 --> 00:00:27 Music.
00:00:27 --> 00:00:31 Luke, we decided to press play today. Welcome back to Talk to Me,
00:00:31 --> 00:00:35 Michelle, the show where we talk about real life, real love,
00:00:35 --> 00:00:38 and real people waking the hell up.
00:00:38 --> 00:00:42 Hope everybody is doing well. Your girl's doing fabulous. I'm up in this piece.
00:00:43 --> 00:00:47 Really excited about today's episode. And I want to get to the topic.
00:00:47 --> 00:00:50 But before I do, I got to get into the letter of the week.
00:00:51 --> 00:00:55 Very interesting. And I'm going to call this one friendship friction.
00:00:55 --> 00:01:00 Because nothing brings out the claws and the passive-aggressive text messages
00:01:00 --> 00:01:05 quite like a wedding and an insecure friend who didn't quite make the list.
00:01:05 --> 00:01:07 So let's unpack this mess.
00:01:12 --> 00:01:17 Dear Michelle, I'm hoping you can lend your wisdom to a situation brewing within
00:01:17 --> 00:01:19 my close-knit group of friends.
00:01:19 --> 00:01:23 There are four of us, myself, well, I will call myself Sarah,
00:01:23 --> 00:01:25 William, Chloe, and Ben.
00:01:26 --> 00:01:29 William and Chloe recently got engaged, which is fantastic news.
00:01:30 --> 00:01:31 We are all thrilled for them.
00:01:32 --> 00:01:36 However, things have gotten a little awkward regarding the wedding guest list.
00:01:36 --> 00:01:40 William and Chloe are having a relatively small wedding.
00:01:40 --> 00:01:44 The issue is that they've decided not to invite Ben's longtime girlfriend.
00:01:45 --> 00:01:49 Apparently, Chloe has never really clicked with her and feels the wedding should
00:01:49 --> 00:01:51 be just for their closest friends and family.
00:01:51 --> 00:01:56 Ben is understandably hurt and feels like by not inviting his girlfriend that
00:01:56 --> 00:02:01 they're saying she's not close enough, even though they've been together for over three years.
00:02:01 --> 00:02:05 Now he's acting distant with them and is creating a real rift in our group.
00:02:05 --> 00:02:08 As the neutral party, I'm caught in the middle.
00:02:08 --> 00:02:13 I understand William and Chloe's desire for a specific atmosphere at their wedding,
00:02:13 --> 00:02:15 but I also see Ben's perspective.
00:02:15 --> 00:02:19 His girlfriend is a big part of his life. How can we navigate this?
00:02:20 --> 00:02:23 Should I try to mediate? Should Ben just accept their decision?
00:02:24 --> 00:02:27 Or is there a way for everyone to feel respected in this situation?
00:02:28 --> 00:02:31 Hoping you can shed some light on this tricky friend dynamic.
00:02:31 --> 00:02:36 I'm gonna say this is a classic friendship pressure point, especially when it
00:02:36 --> 00:02:39 comes to these events like weddings. You know, they come into play.
00:02:39 --> 00:02:42 It's tricky because everyone has valid feelings here.
00:02:43 --> 00:02:48 Now, as far as the couple, they do have the right to put on their guest list
00:02:48 --> 00:02:51 who they want at their wedding. It's their day.
00:02:51 --> 00:02:55 And the pressure to invite everyone can be very intense. You know,
00:02:55 --> 00:02:58 sometimes it's for budget reasons, personal reasons.
00:02:59 --> 00:03:01 People have to make tough choices when it comes to weddings.
00:03:02 --> 00:03:07 So the fact that bride-to-be is not clicking with her friend's girlfriend, that's not ideal.
00:03:08 --> 00:03:11 I don't think that's going to be a real good atmosphere. Who wants to celebrate
00:03:11 --> 00:03:16 their day with somebody you can't stand in the room? You know what I mean? That's difficult.
00:03:16 --> 00:03:19 But Vince's feelings, they are completely valid as well.
00:03:20 --> 00:03:22 Because three years, that's a significant relationship.
00:03:23 --> 00:03:27 And I'm sure with his girlfriend not being included, that could feel like a
00:03:27 --> 00:03:30 personal slight. Not just to her, but to him as well.
00:03:31 --> 00:03:35 Now, your instinct to want to mediate, that's completely natural,
00:03:35 --> 00:03:37 but I would really tread lightly on that.
00:03:37 --> 00:03:39 Because you don't want to become the messenger that gets shot.
00:03:40 --> 00:03:44 I would not try to directly change William and Chloe's mind.
00:03:44 --> 00:03:48 You may want to have a heart-to-heart with Ben first, acknowledge that his feelings
00:03:48 --> 00:03:52 are hurt, he's frustrated, and let him know, I see your side of it.
00:03:52 --> 00:03:56 Then have a separate conversation, a nice gentle one with William and Chloe.
00:03:56 --> 00:04:00 Not to demand that they invite the girlfriend but to
00:04:00 --> 00:04:03 help them understand the impact the decision is having on Ben and
00:04:03 --> 00:04:06 consequently on the friendship group you
00:04:06 --> 00:04:09 could say something like I know you have your reasons for the guest
00:04:09 --> 00:04:13 list but I want to let you know that Ben is feeling a certain way you know he's
00:04:13 --> 00:04:19 feeling left out as making things a bit tense for all of us so ultimately William
00:04:19 --> 00:04:24 and Chloe they get to decide who attends their wedding Ben has to decide how
00:04:24 --> 00:04:26 he wants to respond to whatever decision they make.
00:04:26 --> 00:04:29 He's going to have to accept it, even if he doesn't like it.
00:04:30 --> 00:04:34 The risk of William and Chloe is potentially damaging their friendship with Ben.
00:04:34 --> 00:04:40 And sometimes behind weddings as well as funerals, you lose family members and friends.
00:04:40 --> 00:04:43 I'm telling you. So there's no easy answer here.
00:04:43 --> 00:04:47 Just be open, honest, empathetic communication is key, even if it doesn't lead
00:04:47 --> 00:04:49 to the outcome everybody desires.
00:04:49 --> 00:04:51 Ben needs to feel heard.
00:04:51 --> 00:04:54 William and Chloe need to understand the ripple effects of their choices.
00:04:55 --> 00:05:00 And that's my two cents on that. So I hope that helps out. Best of luck to you on that situation.
00:05:03 --> 00:05:08 All right, I'm going to go ahead and get into it because I want to address this head on.
00:05:08 --> 00:05:11 Tina knows. Yes, Beyonce and Solange's mom.
00:05:12 --> 00:05:17 And clearly a woman who doesn't have time for a man playing in her face and
00:05:17 --> 00:05:20 recently said, and I quote, I woke up.
00:05:20 --> 00:05:24 Now when a woman who's over 70 says
00:05:24 --> 00:05:27 I woke up that means she took off the rose colored glasses
00:05:27 --> 00:05:30 that she was wearing and realized why am I
00:05:30 --> 00:05:33 still doing this okay and I'm gonna
00:05:33 --> 00:05:38 say this because a lot of hate was coming online when this article about Tina
00:05:38 --> 00:05:42 Knowles moving on from her marriage with Richard Lawson over eight years there
00:05:42 --> 00:05:48 was a lot of things I think we saw but sometimes we try so hard to fit a certain
00:05:48 --> 00:05:52 compartment in life that we just deal for situation.
00:05:52 --> 00:05:54 So this is not just celebrity tea.
00:05:54 --> 00:06:00 It's a whole grown woman moment because sometimes it does take eight years,
00:06:00 --> 00:06:05 a beach house, and a few side eyes at brunch to realize you're happy you're single.
00:06:06 --> 00:06:11 And you don't need a plus one to feel whole. So today's episode is about just
00:06:11 --> 00:06:16 that, waking up, choosing peace over performance, and why being single doesn't
00:06:16 --> 00:06:20 mean being sentenced to a lifetime of eating frozen dinners in silence, okay?
00:06:20 --> 00:06:23 So buckle up, beauties. It's about to get honest, hilarious,
00:06:23 --> 00:06:28 and a little uncomfortable for some of y'all still holding on to that man out of habit.
00:06:28 --> 00:06:34 So let's get into this. Tina knows woke up moment. Yes, because baby,
00:06:34 --> 00:06:36 that hit different. It did hit different.
00:06:36 --> 00:06:41 The T is Tina Knowles, just queen mother of the House of Knowles,
00:06:41 --> 00:06:46 filed for divorce from actor Richard Lawson after eight years of marriage. Eight years.
00:06:47 --> 00:06:51 Now, they don't have no messy Instagram battle. There's no shade being thrown
00:06:51 --> 00:06:53 through burner accounts.
00:06:53 --> 00:06:57 No furniture has been moved. Just Tina stepping up and saying,
00:06:57 --> 00:07:00 I woke up and didn't feel the same way anymore.
00:07:01 --> 00:07:07 Phew, that was a whole sentence because you can hear this sentence and it's so grown.
00:07:08 --> 00:07:12 It makes your credit score go up. That was just one of those lines.
00:07:12 --> 00:07:16 And I'm going to be honest, that kind of statement doesn't come from nowhere.
00:07:17 --> 00:07:21 That's not a I forgot to take the chicken out kind of energy, you know?
00:07:21 --> 00:07:25 I've been smiling through some stuff and I'm done now energy.
00:07:26 --> 00:07:29 The soul level honesty. I'm gonna
00:07:29 --> 00:07:32 self-reflect situations I dealt
00:07:32 --> 00:07:36 with just to be in a situation and I
00:07:36 --> 00:07:40 wasn't happy so I understand wholeheartedly where Tina Knowles is coming from
00:07:40 --> 00:07:46 and you know how brave that is you know especially when you're over 70 you've
00:07:46 --> 00:07:50 already raised your babies you've done the wife thing the mama thing the grandma
00:07:50 --> 00:07:54 thing now you're just trying to sip your wine in peace without explaining why
00:07:54 --> 00:07:56 he's always in the other room,
00:07:57 --> 00:08:02 It takes guts to look at your life, no matter what age, and just say,
00:08:02 --> 00:08:04 you know what, this isn't making me happy anymore.
00:08:05 --> 00:08:11 Because let's face it, society loves telling women, especially mature women, just to be grateful.
00:08:12 --> 00:08:15 Like, girl, you better stay with that man. You're not 25 anymore.
00:08:15 --> 00:08:18 As if our opinions evaporate like collagen at midnight.
00:08:19 --> 00:08:24 Please, this ain't Cinderella. And you don't turn into a pumpkin at 60.
00:08:25 --> 00:08:29 Women are constantly being told that after a certain age, we should settle.
00:08:29 --> 00:08:31 That we're just lucky to have somebody.
00:08:32 --> 00:08:37 You, no, no, no. You are not a thrift store couch.
00:08:38 --> 00:08:42 You ain't lucky to be taken in by anybody. Let's call it for what it is.
00:08:42 --> 00:08:46 Tina chose peace over performance. She chose herself.
00:08:46 --> 00:08:51 And I know some folks are confused like, but he's Richard Lawson.
00:08:51 --> 00:08:54 He's handsome. He's Debbie Morgan's ex.
00:08:54 --> 00:08:59 And yes, what they got to do with joy. I'm telling you, sometimes the partner
00:08:59 --> 00:09:03 is a good person and still not the right person for you anymore.
00:09:03 --> 00:09:08 And the longer you try to force it, the more you're just wasting your own peace,
00:09:08 --> 00:09:11 your own time and your own glow.
00:09:11 --> 00:09:17 So when Tina says she woke up, I felt that because waking up doesn't mean you're always asleep.
00:09:18 --> 00:09:22 Sometimes you were just ignoring the signs, hitting the snooze button a little
00:09:22 --> 00:09:23 too often on your own instincts.
00:09:24 --> 00:09:26 And playing nice for the sake of not rocking the boat.
00:09:27 --> 00:09:31 But sometimes the boat does need to be rocked. And if it flips,
00:09:31 --> 00:09:34 so be it. You're going to float just fine.
00:09:34 --> 00:09:39 And there is so much pressure when you are in a relationship because the elephant
00:09:39 --> 00:09:44 in the room is wearing matching couple outfits, holding hands in red carpets,
00:09:44 --> 00:09:46 pretending everything's peachy
00:09:46 --> 00:09:49 when behind closed doors you barely agree on what to eat for dinner.
00:09:50 --> 00:09:54 I'm going to bring up that famous elevator scene with Solange, Beyonce, and Jay-Z.
00:09:54 --> 00:09:58 Security cameras show what really happened, but when the red carpet was hit,
00:09:58 --> 00:10:01 it was all smiles and waves. Let's be honest.
00:10:02 --> 00:10:06 Society loves a woman in a relationship, especially if she is a mature woman.
00:10:07 --> 00:10:11 If you're over 50 and you're single, people start looking at you like you left
00:10:11 --> 00:10:13 the house without your wig glued on.
00:10:13 --> 00:10:19 It's wild how a woman can be successful, smart, healthy, looking damn good,
00:10:19 --> 00:10:25 got grandbabies who adore her, and folks still want to ask, so no man?
00:10:25 --> 00:10:28 Like a man is the prize at the bottom of a cereal box.
00:10:29 --> 00:10:35 You know, first and foremost, I'm the whole box and the shelf it sits on. Don't play with me.
00:10:35 --> 00:10:40 But that's the pressure, right? We've been conditioned to believe that being
00:10:40 --> 00:10:43 in a relationship, any relationship is better than being alone.
00:10:44 --> 00:10:48 That if you're single past a certain age, something must be wrong with you.
00:10:48 --> 00:10:53 Maybe the only thing wrong is that I have standards now. Because when you were
00:10:53 --> 00:10:55 younger, you were dating, you tolerated certain nonsense.
00:10:56 --> 00:11:00 But as you get seasoned, you're not for it.
00:11:00 --> 00:11:03 And let me tell you, it's even harder when you're in the public eye.
00:11:03 --> 00:11:05 Now, I'm not famous famous.
00:11:05 --> 00:11:07 But you know, when you're in
00:11:07 --> 00:11:11 the mix like Miss Tina, there's an added pressure to keep up appearances.
00:11:12 --> 00:11:18 Can't be caught out here looking divorced and content. You got to smile next to your man at the gala.
00:11:18 --> 00:11:23 Even though y'all rode at the event in separate Ubers and haven't had a real
00:11:23 --> 00:11:27 conversation since Juneteenth, that power couple image.
00:11:28 --> 00:11:32 And sometimes it's just two people sharing a checking account and a PR team.
00:11:33 --> 00:11:37 Behind the scenes, it's don't touch me energy, separate bedrooms.
00:11:37 --> 00:11:42 But women, especially of a certain age, were taught to grin and bear it.
00:11:42 --> 00:11:44 We're told to just hang in there, be patient.
00:11:45 --> 00:11:49 Men go through phases. At your age, it's hard to find someone new.
00:11:49 --> 00:11:54 Well, guess what? I'd rather be hard to find than easy to forget.
00:11:54 --> 00:11:58 The pressure to stay in something that no longer serves you just because it
00:11:58 --> 00:12:01 looks good to the outside world, that will wear your soul down.
00:12:01 --> 00:12:05 You'll wake up one day, look in the mirror and not recognize the woman looking back.
00:12:06 --> 00:12:09 And what did Tina say again? I woke up.
00:12:10 --> 00:12:14 And being single doesn't mean being lonely. Being in a relationship doesn't
00:12:14 --> 00:12:16 automatically mean you're loved.
00:12:16 --> 00:12:20 Sometimes you're just a placeholder in somebody else's ego trip.
00:12:21 --> 00:12:27 So if you're over 50, 60, even 70, and you're single, you have not expired.
00:12:27 --> 00:12:32 You're seasoned. You got better boundaries now, better wigs,
00:12:32 --> 00:12:34 better taste in red wine.
00:12:34 --> 00:12:39 Ain't nothing dusty about it. So let folks clutch their pearls while you go
00:12:39 --> 00:12:40 live your best life in peace.
00:12:41 --> 00:12:45 No man snoring next to you or telling you to turn down the volume on your real housewives.
00:12:45 --> 00:12:49 Keep in mind, happiness is not a marital status.
00:12:49 --> 00:12:54 Because being married doesn't mean you're happy. Being single doesn't mean you're
00:12:54 --> 00:12:57 sitting at home crying over wine and reruns of Love Jones.
00:12:57 --> 00:13:01 Let's kill that tired narrative where happiness is supposed to show up in a
00:13:01 --> 00:13:04 tuxedo with a questionable credit score.
00:13:04 --> 00:13:08 If you want to know what happiness looks like, it's a woman stretched across
00:13:08 --> 00:13:13 her bed, nobody's ashy knees touching her under the covers. It's peace.
00:13:14 --> 00:13:18 Let's talk about women who thrived after walking away from something or someone.
00:13:19 --> 00:13:25 That was no longer serving their joy. First of all, Tina knows she is not the only one that woke up.
00:13:25 --> 00:13:29 She's just the latest to say it out loud. Remember Toni Braxton?
00:13:30 --> 00:13:35 She said after her divorce, she finally had time to figure out what she liked. So imagine that.
00:13:36 --> 00:13:39 A grown woman finally realizing she didn't even like football,
00:13:39 --> 00:13:44 but had been sitting through games for 10 years. 10 years.
00:13:45 --> 00:13:49 Because it's about the truth. How many of us have been out here fake laughing
00:13:49 --> 00:13:53 through bad jokes, cold chicken wings just to be supportive?
00:13:54 --> 00:13:57 And don't even get me started on Niecy Nash. Left her husband,
00:13:57 --> 00:14:00 found her peace, and married a woman who loves her loudly and proudly.
00:14:01 --> 00:14:06 Now she's glowing like fresh coconut oil on a sunny day. Y'all see that wedding?
00:14:07 --> 00:14:11 Pure joy. I don't even know her personally, but I wanted to go to that wedding.
00:14:12 --> 00:14:17 But it's not just celebrities. I know real women, mothers, aunties,
00:14:17 --> 00:14:22 church ladies with edges still intact who found their joy after letting go.
00:14:22 --> 00:14:25 One of my girlfriends got divorced at 61.
00:14:25 --> 00:14:31 She said she hadn't slept that good in 30 years. She even took her first solo
00:14:31 --> 00:14:32 vacation after the split.
00:14:32 --> 00:14:37 She went to Jamaica, got her groove back, was sending us photos of her swimsuit,
00:14:38 --> 00:14:40 saying no man, no problems. Okay.
00:14:41 --> 00:14:44 Go ahead, sis. being single is not a curse it's
00:14:44 --> 00:14:48 not a diagnosis you're not on relationship probation
00:14:48 --> 00:14:55 it's just a season or a choice that could be beautiful if you let it be society's
00:14:55 --> 00:14:59 little whisper campaign wants you to think if you're not booed up something's
00:14:59 --> 00:15:04 missing but what if the only thing missing is distress what if you gained your
00:15:04 --> 00:15:07 peace your identity your freedom to fart without judgment.
00:15:08 --> 00:15:13 And some folks are in relationships just to say they are not alone,
00:15:13 --> 00:15:16 but they still feel lonely as hell every day.
00:15:17 --> 00:15:21 That's the worst kind of loneliness. Laying next to somebody and still feel unseen?
00:15:22 --> 00:15:25 I'd rather have an empty bed than an empty spirit.
00:15:25 --> 00:15:32 And happiness is not a man. It's not a plus one. It's not a ring or a status change on Facebook.
00:15:32 --> 00:15:35 It's peace. It's freedom. it's waking up
00:15:35 --> 00:15:38 and knowing that your joy doesn't depend on on whether someone
00:15:38 --> 00:15:41 else remembers your anniversary or not so if
00:15:41 --> 00:15:47 you're divorced single in a situationship or just vibing with yourself you are
00:15:47 --> 00:15:52 enough you're not waiting for love you're living in it and if anyone asks why
00:15:52 --> 00:15:57 you still single just let them know because i love myself too much to settle
00:15:57 --> 00:16:00 and i'm not interested in house breaking a grown man.
00:16:01 --> 00:16:05 And I want y'all to get this out your head. Age is not the end of the road.
00:16:06 --> 00:16:07 Let me clear up this myth.
00:16:08 --> 00:16:09 Older women have fewer options.
00:16:10 --> 00:16:12 Where? In what universe?
00:16:13 --> 00:16:17 Maybe if you still try to date like you was 22 and impressed by a man with a
00:16:17 --> 00:16:22 car and a six-pack and zero ambition. Yeah, that's a dating disaster.
00:16:22 --> 00:16:26 But I must say this slowly for the folks in the back. age
00:16:26 --> 00:16:29 doesn't shrink your options it just shrinks
00:16:29 --> 00:16:32 your tolerance and that definitely is not
00:16:32 --> 00:16:35 a bad thing dating in your 50s your 60s
00:16:35 --> 00:16:38 and yes your fabulous 70s is a whole
00:16:38 --> 00:16:45 new vibe dating in your 50s 60s and yes your fabulous 70s it's a whole new vibe
00:16:45 --> 00:16:50 back in the day we were out here thinking red flags were just passion and bad
00:16:50 --> 00:16:55 boys just needed one good woman to fix them but now if a man raises his voice
00:16:55 --> 00:16:58 at the waiter, I'm calling Uber immediately.
00:16:59 --> 00:17:03 Because when you're older, you know who you are. You're not out here molding
00:17:03 --> 00:17:05 yourself to fit someone else's lifestyle.
00:17:05 --> 00:17:09 You're not pretending to like cigars or listen to jazz just because he's into it.
00:17:10 --> 00:17:14 If I don't like it, I'm not doing it. I'm not dressing up in Spanx just to sit
00:17:14 --> 00:17:17 across from someone who can't even spell conversation.
00:17:17 --> 00:17:21 And let me tell you something. Confidence is sexy at any age.
00:17:21 --> 00:17:27 There is nothing more attractive than a woman who walks into a room, doesn't need to be seen.
00:17:27 --> 00:17:32 She just is. She's not competing. She's not comparing or begging for attention.
00:17:33 --> 00:17:35 She is moisturized. She's booked and blessed.
00:17:36 --> 00:17:41 And I've had men in their 30s and 60s tell me that you're intimidating.
00:17:41 --> 00:17:44 And I say, that's not intimidation. That's called boundaries.
00:17:45 --> 00:17:49 Y'all got to know the difference. But the bottom line, getting older doesn't
00:17:49 --> 00:17:50 mean your options vanish.
00:17:51 --> 00:17:55 It means you've got the power to be selective and the wisdom to avoid the nonsense.
00:17:56 --> 00:18:02 If anything, these are the prime years. You know what you want. You know what you don't.
00:18:02 --> 00:18:05 And best of all, you got the receipts from all the lessons you've already learned.
00:18:06 --> 00:18:10 Now, let me get to the juicy part. The science is time to choose you.
00:18:11 --> 00:18:14 Because not every storm means you got to grab an umbrella.
00:18:14 --> 00:18:18 Sometimes it's just the universe telling you to walk away dry and fabulous.
00:18:19 --> 00:18:23 So here's what you need to know. It's time to pack up your peace and exit stage left.
00:18:24 --> 00:18:27 Number one, you're doing all the emotional labor.
00:18:28 --> 00:18:31 You're the therapist, the planner, the hype woman, you know,
00:18:31 --> 00:18:34 the female version of Flava Flav. And the maid.
00:18:35 --> 00:18:37 And still expected to be sexy on demand.
00:18:38 --> 00:18:42 If I wanted a full-time job with no benefits, I'd go back to retail, okay?
00:18:43 --> 00:18:47 Number two, you don't even like who you are when you're around them.
00:18:47 --> 00:18:53 You used to laugh, now you sigh. You used to have dreams, now you just try and
00:18:53 --> 00:18:57 survive the weekend. If your spirit feels heavy every time they walk in the
00:18:57 --> 00:19:01 room, that is not love. That's a hostage situation.
00:19:03 --> 00:19:08 Number three, you fantasize more about peace and silence than you do about your partner.
00:19:08 --> 00:19:14 You know, if your dream vacation is one where he's not invited, that might be a clue.
00:19:15 --> 00:19:19 Number four, you keep making excuses to family and friends.
00:19:19 --> 00:19:24 Oh, he's just tired and we're going through a little phase. No,
00:19:24 --> 00:19:28 what you're going through is realization, and that's your first step to freedom.
00:19:29 --> 00:19:36 And the last one, you've outgrown them. This is the toughest one you've evolved,
00:19:36 --> 00:19:38 but they're still parked at level two.
00:19:38 --> 00:19:44 You know, life is like a video game. Love is great, but growth is necessary.
00:19:44 --> 00:19:47 Don't shrink yourself just to make someone else feel comfortable.
00:19:48 --> 00:19:52 Listen, choosing you doesn't mean you're being selfish. It means you're finally seeing your worth.
00:19:52 --> 00:19:59 You're choosing peace over pretending, joy over judgment, and self-respect over getting by.
00:19:59 --> 00:20:02 So if you're listening to this and that little tingling in your gut,
00:20:03 --> 00:20:05 that's not gas, okay? It's your intuition.
00:20:06 --> 00:20:11 And it's telling you it's okay to choose you. In fact, it's about damn time you chose you.
00:20:12 --> 00:20:16 Now, the power of waking up, and no, I don't mean crawling out of bed with one
00:20:16 --> 00:20:18 eyelash hanging off and asking what day it is.
00:20:18 --> 00:20:26 I mean the deep soul level awakening where something clicks and you realize this ain't it no more.
00:20:27 --> 00:20:31 Tina Knowles said she just woke up one day and didn't feel the same.
00:20:31 --> 00:20:35 And baby, that ain't just even a quote. That's a spiritual shift.
00:20:36 --> 00:20:38 It's like your inner self grabs
00:20:38 --> 00:20:42 the mic and says, hey, I've been quiet for years, but I'm done doing this.
00:20:42 --> 00:20:46 Now, let me be clear, waking up doesn't always mean divorce.
00:20:47 --> 00:20:51 Sometimes it just means you're about to start telling the truth to yourself,
00:20:51 --> 00:20:55 your friends, to your mirror, and maybe to that man who's been chewing with
00:20:55 --> 00:20:59 his mouth open for 12 years and you just couldn't take it no more.
00:20:59 --> 00:21:04 It could mean leaving a job, setting new boundaries, finally going to therapy,
00:21:04 --> 00:21:08 or just realizing you don't even like half the people you follow on social media
00:21:08 --> 00:21:11 and hitting that unfollow button like it's bingo night.
00:21:12 --> 00:21:18 Waking up is messy sometimes. It disrupts routines. It makes people uncomfortable.
00:21:18 --> 00:21:20 But growth is not supposed to be cozy.
00:21:21 --> 00:21:24 You can't wear tight shoes just because they match your outfit.
00:21:25 --> 00:21:29 Because at some point, your shoes are going to make your feet blister.
00:21:29 --> 00:21:31 And that's when you know it's time to kick them off.
00:21:32 --> 00:21:37 And your peace is not up for debate. If something in your spirit says we need
00:21:37 --> 00:21:39 more, then it is your job to listen.
00:21:40 --> 00:21:44 That's self-love. It's maturity. It's waking up and choosing yourself,
00:21:44 --> 00:21:46 even if it shakes the room.
00:21:46 --> 00:21:52 So wherever you are in life, whether it's a soft whisper or a loud siren blaring
00:21:52 --> 00:21:54 in your chest, don't ignore it.
00:21:54 --> 00:22:01 The wake-up call comes for all of us. The question is, will you hit the snooze or will you answer?
00:22:04 --> 00:22:08 All right let's wrap up this wonderful episode keep
00:22:08 --> 00:22:11 in mind you don't owe anyone your peace not
00:22:11 --> 00:22:16 your ex not your mama's favorite church member not that man that still calls
00:22:16 --> 00:22:21 you baby girl even though your knees pop loud and bubble wrap even if they're
00:22:21 --> 00:22:28 a good person if they're not good for you that's enough remember waking up and
00:22:28 --> 00:22:31 choosing you isn't selfish it's sacred.
00:22:32 --> 00:22:35 Now, don't be stingy. If this episode made you laugh, think,
00:22:35 --> 00:22:40 or sigh your situation, go ahead, follow, subscribe, and share it with your
00:22:40 --> 00:22:45 crew, your cousins, your group chat, your situationship, if they can handle it.
00:22:45 --> 00:22:50 And if you got a dilemma, a shady story, or you just need big sister advice,
00:22:50 --> 00:22:54 send me your letters at talktomemichelle at gmail.com.
00:22:54 --> 00:22:57 I might just read on the show with love and a little sass.
00:22:58 --> 00:23:01 Need more great shows? check out the fam over at
00:23:01 --> 00:23:04 the mbg podcast network and if
00:23:04 --> 00:23:07 you want to support this show keep the caffeine flowing and
00:23:07 --> 00:23:12 the mic hot head on over to buymeacoffee.com backslash talk to me michelle and
00:23:12 --> 00:23:17 show your girl some love follow me on all the socials instagram tiktok youtube
00:23:17 --> 00:23:22 wherever you scroll at talk to me michelle on everything and before i let you
00:23:22 --> 00:23:24 guys go i'm gonna leave you guys with this.
00:23:24 --> 00:23:29 You're not too old. You're just on time for your time.
00:23:29 --> 00:23:34 All right. Until next time, choose peace. Maybe delete that text you were just
00:23:34 --> 00:23:37 about to send. I will see you guys next episode. Peace.
Related Episodes
Episode 73: Embracing Global Opportunities
In this thought-provoking episode of "Talk to Me, Michele," we delve deep into the realities many Black Americans face today as they consider leaving the United States in search of better opportunities and peace. Michele discusses the emotional toll of microaggressions and the contemplation of build...
Episode 72: Clap While You Wait
In this heartfelt episode of ”Talk To Me, Michele,” we dive deep into the importance of protecting your joy in a world that often resists happiness. Michele opens up about her hiatus from recording, the support from her community, and the episode’s powerful inspiration. She unpacks challenges like d...
Episode 71: Race and Privilege: Todd Chrisley Speaks Out on Inmate Inequality
In this episode of "Talk to Me, Michele," we dive deep into the harsh realities of race and privilege within the prison system, sparked by Todd Chrisley's eye-opening experiences. As a freshly pardoned reality star, Chrisley sheds light on the stark, unequal treatment of black inmates compared to th...