In honor of Pride Month, Episode 4 of The Birth Seat uplifts the lived experiences, needs, and resilience of Black LGBTQ+ birthing people. Centering queer and trans voices within the birth and postpartum space, we explore what it means to reclaim bodily autonomy, challenge cisnormative systems in healthcare, and build affirming, inclusive spaces for all who give birth.
In this episode, we discuss:
* The erasure of Queer and Trans parents in reproductive health conversations
* Why reproductive justice must include LGBTQ+ rights and gender-affirming care
* How providers, doulas, and birthworkers can create safer spaces for LGBTQ+ clients
* The legacy of Black Queer resistance in both parenting and community healing
Special Guests:
Christian Lovehall, Black Trans birthworker and community advocate
Dr. Keonna Watson, LGBTQ+ health educator and parent
Voices from the community reflecting on visibility, safety, and support during pregnancy and postpartum
Whether you identify as LGBTQ+ or you're an ally committed to equity, this episode invites all listeners to deepen their understanding of birth beyond binaries.
00:00:00 --> 00:00:06 [Music]
00:00:06 --> 00:00:08 All right. Hello everyone. Welcome to
00:00:08 --> 00:00:10 the Bird Seed, our heritage, our legacy
00:00:10 --> 00:00:12 podcast dedicated to addressing the
00:00:12 --> 00:00:14 pressing issues of black maternal
00:00:14 --> 00:00:16 health, exploring the stories, the
00:00:16 --> 00:00:18 challenges, and the triumphs of black
00:00:18 --> 00:00:21 mothers in Delaware and beyond. On this
00:00:21 --> 00:00:23 podcast, we dive into our heritage, the
00:00:23 --> 00:00:25 systemic barriers we face, and the
00:00:25 --> 00:00:28 legacy we aim to leave behind. and we
00:00:28 --> 00:00:30 typically do so through heartfelt
00:00:30 --> 00:00:32 conversation right here on the bird
00:00:32 --> 00:00:34 seat. Joining me for a conversation
00:00:34 --> 00:00:37 today, I have
00:00:37 --> 00:00:40 your name Dr. Kiana Watson. Dr. Kiana
00:00:40 --> 00:00:43 Watson. Yeah. All right. Thank you. I'm
00:00:43 --> 00:00:46 Christian Love. Awesome. All right. So,
00:00:46 --> 00:00:48 we're going to get started. And before
00:00:48 --> 00:00:49 we do that, I just want to remind
00:00:50 --> 00:00:52 everybody that in honor of Pride Month,
00:00:52 --> 00:00:55 episode 4 of the Bird Seat uplifts the
00:00:56 --> 00:00:58 lived experiences, needs, and resilience
00:00:58 --> 00:01:02 of black LGBTQ plus Burton people,
00:01:02 --> 00:01:04 centering queer and trans voices within
00:01:04 --> 00:01:07 the birth and postpartum space. We
00:01:07 --> 00:01:08 explore what it means to reclaim our
00:01:08 --> 00:01:11 bodily autonomy
00:01:11 --> 00:01:14 challenge systems in the healthcare and
00:01:14 --> 00:01:17 building affirmative uh inclusive spaces
00:01:17 --> 00:01:21 for all who give birth. All right. At
00:01:21 --> 00:01:22 the birth state, we believe that birth
00:01:22 --> 00:01:25 is a human right for everybody, every
00:01:26 --> 00:01:29 identity and every family configuration.
00:01:29 --> 00:01:31 Do you guys agree with that? Absolutely.
00:01:31 --> 00:01:33 All right.
00:01:33 --> 00:01:35 And before we get into the conversation,
00:01:35 --> 00:01:37 how are you guys feeling today? I'm
00:01:38 --> 00:01:41 feeling good. Happy Pride Month. Happy
00:01:41 --> 00:01:44 Pride Month. That's right. All right. Um
00:01:44 --> 00:01:46 before I actually delve into like some
00:01:46 --> 00:01:47 of the topics that we're going to be
00:01:47 --> 00:01:50 talking about um I was just talking to a
00:01:50 --> 00:01:53 friend of mine before the podcast today
00:01:53 --> 00:01:57 that typically you if uh Pride month is
00:01:57 --> 00:01:59 coming up you hear it in the society
00:01:59 --> 00:02:01 social media community people talking
00:02:01 --> 00:02:04 about it you know in different shapes of
00:02:04 --> 00:02:07 form facets but this year has been
00:02:07 --> 00:02:09 significantly different like I feel like
00:02:10 --> 00:02:12 voices are silenced and people just not
00:02:12 --> 00:02:14 talking about it or even if they do,
00:02:14 --> 00:02:17 it's kind of like on a hush hush level.
00:02:17 --> 00:02:19 Could you elaborate on that if you think
00:02:19 --> 00:02:22 there's a reason behind it? Yeah, I I
00:02:22 --> 00:02:25 know firsthand that organizations have
00:02:25 --> 00:02:27 been getting threats. Um, organizations
00:02:27 --> 00:02:30 that typically celebrate pride loud and
00:02:30 --> 00:02:33 proud. Um, organizations have lost
00:02:33 --> 00:02:35 sponsorships. Um, there's definitely a
00:02:36 --> 00:02:38 political component to it. you know, um
00:02:38 --> 00:02:40 they're trying to take away rights and
00:02:40 --> 00:02:43 in in and in in essence taking away
00:02:43 --> 00:02:45 funding for a lot of it. Um Delaware,
00:02:45 --> 00:02:47 we're still having our um Pride event,
00:02:47 --> 00:02:50 but uh I know init there were some talks
00:02:50 --> 00:02:52 of cancelling lots of things because of
00:02:52 --> 00:02:54 the threats. Um but they are moving
00:02:54 --> 00:02:56 forward with some of it. But that's mo
00:02:56 --> 00:02:58 most of the reason why is the threats
00:02:58 --> 00:03:01 and also you know the political piece
00:03:01 --> 00:03:02 where folks just feel like they can come
00:03:02 --> 00:03:04 out and say whatever they want, do
00:03:04 --> 00:03:06 whatever they want. Um because we have
00:03:06 --> 00:03:08 folks that are higher up now that don't
00:03:08 --> 00:03:11 care about us, you know. So it's like
00:03:11 --> 00:03:13 folks are saying why why should we?
00:03:13 --> 00:03:15 Yeah. Okay. And Christian, did you have
00:03:15 --> 00:03:18 any input to that at all? Um no, I I
00:03:18 --> 00:03:22 definitely agree. Um I think that you
00:03:22 --> 00:03:25 know a lot of people are being strategic
00:03:25 --> 00:03:27 um when it comes to planning different
00:03:27 --> 00:03:29 pride events and things like that.
00:03:29 --> 00:03:32 um you know and I think that you know in
00:03:32 --> 00:03:36 Philly I know that it kind of has
00:03:36 --> 00:03:38 um
00:03:38 --> 00:03:42 ignited a you know
00:03:42 --> 00:03:45 a a new excitement about the movement.
00:03:45 --> 00:03:48 Okay. Um, so I think that this year it's
00:03:48 --> 00:03:52 going to be a lot more people um, you
00:03:52 --> 00:03:54 know, cuz people want to uplift their
00:03:54 --> 00:03:57 voices. They want to share their stories
00:03:57 --> 00:04:00 um, you know, and and embrace
00:04:00 --> 00:04:03 uh, you know, who they are out loud and
00:04:03 --> 00:04:06 proud. Okay. Um, we also, so Philly has
00:04:06 --> 00:04:11 this huge uh, LGBT pride flag. Uh, last
00:04:11 --> 00:04:13 year uh, it was flown by hundreds of
00:04:13 --> 00:04:16 people. It's really It's thousands of
00:04:16 --> 00:04:18 feet. So this year they're actually
00:04:18 --> 00:04:21 making it longer. Okay.
00:04:21 --> 00:04:23 So
00:04:23 --> 00:04:26 So yes, um Philly is going to be very
00:04:26 --> 00:04:29 very queer uh this month. Okay. Well,
00:04:29 --> 00:04:31 that's good to know. Um and we're going
00:04:31 --> 00:04:33 to get back to you later on. Talk more
00:04:33 --> 00:04:35 about some of the movements that you've
00:04:36 --> 00:04:38 uh you know participated in and some of
00:04:38 --> 00:04:40 the you know changes or influences that
00:04:40 --> 00:04:41 you've made in the society especially in
00:04:41 --> 00:04:44 Philadelphia. given some scenarios or
00:04:44 --> 00:04:46 situation. But before we delve into
00:04:46 --> 00:04:48 that, I just want you guys to really
00:04:48 --> 00:04:49 introduce yourself cuz I know I have
00:04:49 --> 00:04:53 like true prominent guest on this
00:04:53 --> 00:04:56 podcast today and I don't think our
00:04:56 --> 00:04:58 listeners know who you are. So, just
00:04:58 --> 00:05:00 tell us a little bit about yourself,
00:05:00 --> 00:05:02 what you do, what you stand for, uh, and
00:05:02 --> 00:05:06 your pronouns. Um, just Okay. And and
00:05:06 --> 00:05:08 just to just to make you guys aware, the
00:05:08 --> 00:05:11 goal for this podcast today for me and I
00:05:11 --> 00:05:15 hope for you as a listener is to learn
00:05:15 --> 00:05:18 and you know be open-minded and
00:05:18 --> 00:05:21 hopefully anything that is confusing
00:05:21 --> 00:05:23 that you've been hoping and wanting
00:05:23 --> 00:05:25 clarification on when it comes to the
00:05:25 --> 00:05:26 LGBTQ
00:05:26 --> 00:05:29 um space, you're able to get that
00:05:29 --> 00:05:31 confirmation. If for any reason you're
00:05:31 --> 00:05:33 not when you listen to this podcast
00:05:33 --> 00:05:36 something um comes comes to your mind
00:05:36 --> 00:05:38 and you need clarification on please
00:05:38 --> 00:05:42 leave a comment down below um this like
00:05:42 --> 00:05:45 especially him he's associated with
00:05:45 --> 00:05:48 black mothers in power. Yes. Um so he
00:05:48 --> 00:05:50 can answer some of your questions or
00:05:50 --> 00:05:51 concerns and if you need further
00:05:51 --> 00:05:53 clarification just reach out to us. But
00:05:53 --> 00:05:55 yeah I'll have you introduce yourself so
00:05:55 --> 00:05:56 they can know who you are and what you
00:05:56 --> 00:05:59 stand for. Absolutely. Um my name is Dr.
00:05:59 --> 00:06:02 Dr. Kiana Watson. Pronouns are she, her.
00:06:02 --> 00:06:05 Um, I am many things, so I'm going to
00:06:05 --> 00:06:07 try and wrap this up and not it can be
00:06:08 --> 00:06:09 very long and drawn out, especially
00:06:09 --> 00:06:11 because I'm an educator. Um, and a
00:06:12 --> 00:06:16 storyteller, all the things. Um, I am
00:06:16 --> 00:06:19 a prevention specialist. Um, I have a
00:06:19 --> 00:06:22 doctor in prevention and a masters in
00:06:22 --> 00:06:24 family science. So I practice uh my
00:06:24 --> 00:06:27 practices are geared towards the family
00:06:27 --> 00:06:31 system and um I work with families in
00:06:31 --> 00:06:33 multiple aspects. I am a mental health
00:06:33 --> 00:06:35 provider um in a holistic health
00:06:35 --> 00:06:37 practitioner. So a lot of my practice is
00:06:37 --> 00:06:40 guided by natural wellness. Um I am also
00:06:40 --> 00:06:43 an adjunct professor. So I teach general
00:06:43 --> 00:06:46 psychology and sociology.
00:06:46 --> 00:06:50 Uh I'm an actor and um I am also an
00:06:50 --> 00:06:53 author and by way and in honor of my
00:06:54 --> 00:06:57 ancestors, my lineage and the most high
00:06:57 --> 00:07:01 um I also am a warrior and a healer.
00:07:01 --> 00:07:07 Awesome.
00:07:07 --> 00:07:10 Love it. Thank you. Yes. Yes. All right.
00:07:10 --> 00:07:14 Um so I am Christian Love. I am many
00:07:14 --> 00:07:16 things as well. So, I'm trying to, you
00:07:16 --> 00:07:19 know, wrap this up, but um I am an
00:07:19 --> 00:07:22 advocate. Uh been so since the age of
00:07:22 --> 00:07:25 seven. Um standing on the front lines
00:07:25 --> 00:07:28 for many marginalized communities, um
00:07:28 --> 00:07:31 including LGBTQQ+,
00:07:31 --> 00:07:36 um trans um women, sex workers, um and
00:07:36 --> 00:07:40 many others. I am a self-published
00:07:40 --> 00:07:43 author. Um also a doula. I go by the
00:07:43 --> 00:07:45 name of Brother Doula.
00:07:45 --> 00:07:49 and I am an entrepreneur.
00:07:49 --> 00:07:53 Awesome. Brother Dilla, brother, I love
00:07:53 --> 00:07:55 it. Now, brother Dilla, is that your
00:07:55 --> 00:07:58 like your way of identifying yourself in
00:07:58 --> 00:08:01 that space? Yes. Okay, very good. So,
00:08:01 --> 00:08:03 and I needed that clarification also
00:08:03 --> 00:08:05 simply because I know that you know
00:08:05 --> 00:08:08 duelas, female duelas are called doulas
00:08:08 --> 00:08:10 and then male are called dulo. And then
00:08:10 --> 00:08:12 I wanted to I had asked him earlier and
00:08:12 --> 00:08:15 I wanted to ask him again wanted to know
00:08:15 --> 00:08:17 if you know people who cater to the
00:08:17 --> 00:08:20 LGBTQ specifically um had a special
00:08:20 --> 00:08:23 name. So there not a special name. No.
00:08:23 --> 00:08:26 All right. It should ch you chose that.
00:08:26 --> 00:08:28 Yes. We
00:08:28 --> 00:08:31 powerful. I love it. Yes. All right. So
00:08:31 --> 00:08:34 um why do you think it's important for
00:08:34 --> 00:08:38 us to talk about LGBTQ?
00:08:38 --> 00:08:40 Um why why do you think it's important
00:08:40 --> 00:08:43 in general like
00:08:43 --> 00:08:46 so statistically uh all right let me
00:08:46 --> 00:08:49 start with a personal experience so I am
00:08:49 --> 00:08:52 um I identify as lesbian um I am married
00:08:52 --> 00:08:54 I have a wife um I also have a a son
00:08:54 --> 00:08:59 he's an adult um my adult child um
00:08:59 --> 00:09:01 raised him came out when he was one
00:09:01 --> 00:09:04 raised him um and all of all the things
00:09:04 --> 00:09:08 that I am um and he is very much He is
00:09:08 --> 00:09:10 um heterosexual cisgender male who is
00:09:10 --> 00:09:13 very open and welcoming and affirming
00:09:13 --> 00:09:16 and accepting of all people, right? Um
00:09:16 --> 00:09:18 and I think that it's important to talk
00:09:18 --> 00:09:23 about LGBTQ plus um from my personal
00:09:23 --> 00:09:25 experience, I knew as early as seven,
00:09:25 --> 00:09:29 right, that I was attracted to um at
00:09:29 --> 00:09:31 that time girls, right? were I'm an
00:09:31 --> 00:09:33 adult now, so I'll say women, but at
00:09:33 --> 00:09:35 that age, young girls and who were my
00:09:36 --> 00:09:38 age. Um, and I didn't understand what
00:09:38 --> 00:09:41 that meant. Um, my grandparents raised
00:09:41 --> 00:09:42 me. They were married for 55 years,
00:09:42 --> 00:09:45 right? They were mom and dad and that's
00:09:45 --> 00:09:48 all I knew. I was raised in a church and
00:09:48 --> 00:09:50 and questioned every day, you know, and
00:09:50 --> 00:09:53 said, "What was wrong with me?" Um, I
00:09:53 --> 00:09:54 had thoughts that I should be dead,
00:09:54 --> 00:09:59 right? Because why? and um got to
00:09:59 --> 00:10:02 college and really found learned what
00:10:02 --> 00:10:05 LGBTQ plus was. I didn't know before
00:10:05 --> 00:10:08 college, right before 18 and 19. And at
00:10:08 --> 00:10:11 that point of learning and and walking
00:10:11 --> 00:10:16 and becoming who I am as a who I was and
00:10:16 --> 00:10:18 who I am now as a woman, um I
00:10:18 --> 00:10:21 flourished. I remember experiencing what
00:10:21 --> 00:10:23 I didn't know then but now I know as a
00:10:23 --> 00:10:26 therapist u symptoms of depression you
00:10:26 --> 00:10:27 know suicidal
00:10:27 --> 00:10:30 ideiation literally not knowing what
00:10:30 --> 00:10:32 those things were because we didn't talk
00:10:32 --> 00:10:34 about it and got to college and learn
00:10:34 --> 00:10:35 all so I think it's important to talk
00:10:35 --> 00:10:37 about it and educate folks so that they
00:10:38 --> 00:10:42 understand that um we are who we are uh
00:10:42 --> 00:10:45 we're going to you whether it's hidden
00:10:45 --> 00:10:47 from us or not talked about we find
00:10:47 --> 00:10:49 ourselves
00:10:49 --> 00:10:51 Um and and it's it can be as easy as
00:10:51 --> 00:10:54 finding ourselves as early on as being
00:10:54 --> 00:10:57 educated at a very young age so that we
00:10:57 --> 00:10:59 can miss the suicidal thoughts or the
00:10:59 --> 00:11:02 suicidal attempts. Um statistically we
00:11:02 --> 00:11:04 turn you know where there's not
00:11:04 --> 00:11:05 education or acceptance and there's
00:11:06 --> 00:11:08 rejection. Um you know there are higher
00:11:08 --> 00:11:10 rates of drug use and and and uh
00:11:10 --> 00:11:13 intimate partner violence. Um and so
00:11:13 --> 00:11:16 statistically in being marginalized we
00:11:16 --> 00:11:20 miss uh so many opportunities to live a
00:11:20 --> 00:11:24 healthy and well life where there is no
00:11:24 --> 00:11:26 education and that's why it's important
00:11:26 --> 00:11:29 to talk about it right and also if there
00:11:29 --> 00:11:31 are folks in your family who identify to
00:11:31 --> 00:11:33 also help your children to understand
00:11:33 --> 00:11:35 who they are um so that they can grow up
00:11:35 --> 00:11:37 like my son and be open and welcoming
00:11:37 --> 00:11:40 and just like it's okay you know I can
00:11:40 --> 00:11:42 he can literally be in a space with
00:11:42 --> 00:11:44 anybody body and it and it doesn't you
00:11:44 --> 00:11:46 know it's joy doesn't matter you know I
00:11:46 --> 00:11:48 love it that you made that comment about
00:11:48 --> 00:11:51 your son being heterosexual because I've
00:11:51 --> 00:11:53 had heated conversation it's always
00:11:53 --> 00:11:56 heated every time we have stuff
00:11:56 --> 00:11:58 heated conversation about you know
00:11:58 --> 00:12:01 people believing that um when you have
00:12:01 --> 00:12:04 when you're uh when you when you're gay
00:12:04 --> 00:12:06 and your partner is the same sex as you
00:12:06 --> 00:12:09 and you have a child that it's almost
00:12:10 --> 00:12:12 inevitable that that child will be gay
00:12:12 --> 00:12:14 because that's what they were taught
00:12:14 --> 00:12:15 growing up. Isn't that something? But
00:12:15 --> 00:12:17 it's crazy like look at look at the look
00:12:17 --> 00:12:19 at your story like live stories and this
00:12:19 --> 00:12:21 is live experiences that we're talking
00:12:21 --> 00:12:23 about like don't be so close-minded,
00:12:23 --> 00:12:26 right? Be open-minded. I counteract I
00:12:26 --> 00:12:28 always counteract that because you're
00:12:28 --> 00:12:29 right. That's what people come at you
00:12:29 --> 00:12:32 with. And I always say, well, my parents
00:12:32 --> 00:12:34 were man and woman and I'm a lesbian,
00:12:34 --> 00:12:36 right? And I am loud and proud of my
00:12:36 --> 00:12:40 right. I saw that, right? But I still
00:12:40 --> 00:12:42 came out to be who I am. And it's the
00:12:42 --> 00:12:45 same, right? Your child is going to be
00:12:45 --> 00:12:47 who they are, right? You can raise a
00:12:47 --> 00:12:50 heterosexual, uh you know um
00:12:50 --> 00:12:52 that uh gender non-conforming. They're
00:12:52 --> 00:12:54 going to be who who they are by way of
00:12:54 --> 00:12:59 themselves. And I um one thing I Oh,
00:12:59 --> 00:13:02 sorry. Okay. I think my crystal said I'm
00:13:02 --> 00:13:04 I'm tired. Oh, that's okay. It's pretty
00:13:04 --> 00:13:06 though. Love it. Thank you. Um but I
00:13:06 --> 00:13:08 think like um one thing I also want
00:13:08 --> 00:13:11 people to well for me what I understand
00:13:11 --> 00:13:14 when it comes to you know the LGBTQ I
00:13:14 --> 00:13:17 feel I I feel like or my understanding
00:13:17 --> 00:13:19 is that I don't think it's something
00:13:19 --> 00:13:22 somebody chooses right I have a
00:13:22 --> 00:13:24 conviction and not just a conviction but
00:13:24 --> 00:13:26 I think I don't think it's someone will
00:13:26 --> 00:13:29 just wake up and say they want to be gay
00:13:29 --> 00:13:32 right I think it's more than that I
00:13:32 --> 00:13:35 think it's biological absolutely and and
00:13:35 --> 00:13:36 the reason Why I say this is because a
00:13:36 --> 00:13:39 lot of like uh lesbians or gay people
00:13:39 --> 00:13:43 that I've met um they tell me how it was
00:13:43 --> 00:13:45 such a struggle when they were growing
00:13:45 --> 00:13:48 up you know just some people are like
00:13:48 --> 00:13:49 I'm going to pray it out of me so that
00:13:50 --> 00:13:52 my parents don't my family don't hate me
00:13:52 --> 00:13:54 I'm going to do like they just have all
00:13:54 --> 00:13:56 these thoughts in their head and then
00:13:56 --> 00:13:58 that would with that thought comes along
00:13:58 --> 00:14:00 you know the suicide you know because
00:14:00 --> 00:14:03 they're afraid like if it's something
00:14:03 --> 00:14:05 somebody can just learn or choose like
00:14:05 --> 00:14:06 and you know like society is going to
00:14:06 --> 00:14:08 come at you. It's not you're not just
00:14:08 --> 00:14:09 going to wake up and do it. At least
00:14:10 --> 00:14:12 that's what I'm and I'm just hoping that
00:14:12 --> 00:14:15 people will be open to truly trying to
00:14:15 --> 00:14:18 understand people who are you know you
00:14:18 --> 00:14:21 know who are um in the LGBTQ instead of
00:14:22 --> 00:14:24 judging and pointing fingers and things
00:14:24 --> 00:14:27 like that. Try to understand them. Try
00:14:27 --> 00:14:29 to ask question. Try to get on their
00:14:30 --> 00:14:31 level. Like you know I'm just sick. It's
00:14:31 --> 00:14:35 2025 y'all. sick and tired of just the
00:14:35 --> 00:14:38 ignor like ignorance like yeah and I
00:14:38 --> 00:14:41 think educ it's a lot of it has to do
00:14:41 --> 00:14:42 with education and speaking of education
00:14:42 --> 00:14:45 can you elaborate on the full definition
00:14:46 --> 00:14:49 of the LGBTQ and then from there we're
00:14:49 --> 00:14:50 going to talk about you know the cyst
00:14:50 --> 00:14:52 and the headto heterosexual the
00:14:52 --> 00:14:53 difference and all that stuff just
00:14:53 --> 00:14:56 elaborating definition yep absolutely so
00:14:56 --> 00:14:59 LGBTQ the L stands for lesbian um G
00:14:59 --> 00:15:02 stands for gay so and and if you do you
00:15:02 --> 00:15:06 want me to bring I'll keep going.
00:15:06 --> 00:15:10 I'll probably ask later.
00:15:10 --> 00:15:12 I'm so I'm telling you I'm an educator.
00:15:12 --> 00:15:15 I could take the long a um B stands for
00:15:15 --> 00:15:20 bisexual. Um T for trans uh transgender
00:15:20 --> 00:15:24 and Q is Q can be queer or questioned
00:15:24 --> 00:15:27 and queer in question, right? Um and
00:15:27 --> 00:15:29 then we have plus. So it I mean we say
00:15:29 --> 00:15:32 the LGBTQ IABC's because there's so many
00:15:32 --> 00:15:34 additional letters that follow where
00:15:34 --> 00:15:37 right we have I for interex um A for
00:15:37 --> 00:15:39 asexual P for pansexual right there's so
00:15:40 --> 00:15:43 many letters um um and identities but
00:15:43 --> 00:15:45 essentially when we say LG
00:15:45 --> 00:15:51 LGBTQ I A+ we are including all of the
00:15:51 --> 00:15:54 uh I call it the beautiful ball of black
00:15:54 --> 00:15:57 and brown and everything in between
00:15:57 --> 00:16:00 rainbow Yes. Okay. And is there a
00:16:00 --> 00:16:02 difference between cyst and
00:16:02 --> 00:16:04 heterosexual? And what what's the
00:16:04 --> 00:16:06 difference? So cisgend cisgender which
00:16:06 --> 00:16:10 is cisgender it just means that you
00:16:10 --> 00:16:15 identify as the um the sex your register
00:16:15 --> 00:16:17 and born as I'm sorry not your register
00:16:17 --> 00:16:19 your the sex that you were born as.
00:16:19 --> 00:16:21 Right. So I'm a cisgender woman. I was
00:16:21 --> 00:16:25 born a a female. I identify as female. I
00:16:25 --> 00:16:28 identify as woman. Uh, and then we have
00:16:28 --> 00:16:30 trans. And I'll I'll leave that to um
00:16:30 --> 00:16:31 Christian. Christian wants to get into
00:16:31 --> 00:16:33 that. I'm coming to you. I have a lot of
00:16:33 --> 00:16:35 questions for you. But when you're
00:16:35 --> 00:16:37 asking about cis versus hetero, what we
00:16:37 --> 00:16:41 like to say is there is um your your
00:16:41 --> 00:16:43 gender identity and your sexual
00:16:43 --> 00:16:44 orientation are two different things,
00:16:44 --> 00:16:47 right? So a cisgender woman can be
00:16:47 --> 00:16:50 heterosexual, a cisgender woman can be a
00:16:50 --> 00:16:51 lesbian, a cisgender woman can be
00:16:51 --> 00:16:54 bisexual, so on and so forth. Okay? The
00:16:54 --> 00:16:56 cis is is is
00:16:56 --> 00:17:00 um it is solely identifying your gender.
00:17:00 --> 00:17:03 Okay. Yeah. Not your sexual orientation.
00:17:03 --> 00:17:05 Gotcha. Does that make sense? Yeah, it
00:17:05 --> 00:17:07 does. It does. It does. And the reason
00:17:07 --> 00:17:09 why I asked is because that I was
00:17:09 --> 00:17:11 talking to you earlier about, you know,
00:17:11 --> 00:17:15 the Chimamanda Adichi, you know, um
00:17:15 --> 00:17:17 she's recently made a comment on social
00:17:17 --> 00:17:21 media about cis and heterosexual. And um
00:17:22 --> 00:17:23 prior to her making that comment, which
00:17:23 --> 00:17:27 she did um talk about later, that um she
00:17:27 --> 00:17:29 didn't she didn't even know the word
00:17:29 --> 00:17:31 cyst. She didn't even she's this is an
00:17:31 --> 00:17:33 educator. She's like a worldrenowned
00:17:33 --> 00:17:36 writer. Wow. So she didn't know. So when
00:17:36 --> 00:17:38 she but when she made that comment and
00:17:38 --> 00:17:40 everybody came at her like cuz she said
00:17:40 --> 00:17:41 trans men are trans women, trans women
00:17:41 --> 00:17:44 are trans women. Um they people wanted
00:17:44 --> 00:17:47 her to actually speak more on it and
00:17:47 --> 00:17:50 clarify what she was saying. Mhm. So, I
00:17:50 --> 00:17:51 myself wasn't too familiar with the word
00:17:52 --> 00:17:54 cyst. So, I went down the rabbit hole to
00:17:54 --> 00:17:56 do my research and try to understand and
00:17:56 --> 00:17:57 I was like, I have a podcast coming up.
00:17:57 --> 00:17:59 Maybe they can clarify it for me and
00:17:59 --> 00:18:00 maybe clarify for somebody else that
00:18:00 --> 00:18:02 doesn't understand. So, cuz I was like,
00:18:02 --> 00:18:04 what is what what was the big deal?
00:18:04 --> 00:18:07 Like, if you're cyst and you identify as
00:18:07 --> 00:18:10 such and somebody says heterosexual,
00:18:10 --> 00:18:13 like I think I don't know. I was trying
00:18:13 --> 00:18:14 to figure out why it was such a big
00:18:14 --> 00:18:16 deal. Like when she said cis to cyst, I
00:18:16 --> 00:18:20 mean trans and a cyst is a cyst. Like do
00:18:20 --> 00:18:22 you understand like why they would have
00:18:22 --> 00:18:25 come at her?
00:18:25 --> 00:18:28 I I don't know because I I
00:18:28 --> 00:18:31 would No, it's okay. I would need to see
00:18:31 --> 00:18:33 like what I would need to hear how she
00:18:33 --> 00:18:36 said it. Yep. And what the body language
00:18:36 --> 00:18:38 I'm I pay attention to all the things,
00:18:38 --> 00:18:40 right? Um I need to see how she said it,
00:18:40 --> 00:18:42 why she said it, what the context of the
00:18:42 --> 00:18:47 saying was. I I don't know. Um
00:18:47 --> 00:18:48 maybe Christian, is there do you have
00:18:48 --> 00:18:51 any Oh, no. I haven't I haven't heard
00:18:51 --> 00:18:54 about that. I would mean to see a clip
00:18:54 --> 00:18:56 and then That's right. Okay. No, no
00:18:56 --> 00:18:58 problem. Thank you so much for uh just
00:18:58 --> 00:19:00 saying that. But I, like I said, I went
00:19:00 --> 00:19:02 down the rabbit hole and I listened to
00:19:02 --> 00:19:07 another, I think, a
00:19:07 --> 00:19:10 transgend she should have maybe said
00:19:10 --> 00:19:14 like come to clarify the fact that a tr
00:19:14 --> 00:19:17 I think what they were coming at her was
00:19:17 --> 00:19:18 a
00:19:18 --> 00:19:23 trans should not be that the identity
00:19:23 --> 00:19:25 that they identify themselves with
00:19:25 --> 00:19:28 should not be taken away from them. M
00:19:28 --> 00:19:31 like if I'm a transale then I'm a male I
00:19:31 --> 00:19:33 say you know what I'm saying but the way
00:19:34 --> 00:19:35 she said it she's saying that you're a
00:19:35 --> 00:19:38 trans you so she was saying that they
00:19:38 --> 00:19:41 you should always say I'm a trans man or
00:19:41 --> 00:19:42 I'm a trans woman versus I'm a man or a
00:19:42 --> 00:19:45 woman. Yeah. What you are Yeah. Yeah.
00:19:45 --> 00:19:46 What you are like that's how people
00:19:46 --> 00:19:48 don't Yeah. You had different people on
00:19:48 --> 00:19:50 the internet like just breaking down
00:19:50 --> 00:19:52 what she said and all that stuff. But
00:19:52 --> 00:19:53 for me I just wanted to understand what
00:19:53 --> 00:19:56 the big but anyway I digress.
00:19:56 --> 00:19:58 I digress. So, let's go into the birth
00:19:58 --> 00:20:01 space, right? So, you're the uh brother
00:20:01 --> 00:20:04 doula. Yes. And um I know you've written
00:20:04 --> 00:20:07 a book. Mhm. Um and uh if you just want
00:20:07 --> 00:20:09 to tell us a little bit about I've read
00:20:09 --> 00:20:11 the book, a really good book. And when I
00:20:11 --> 00:20:13 read the book and I you my feedback to
00:20:13 --> 00:20:16 you was that I love how affirmative it
00:20:16 --> 00:20:19 was. Right. So, cuz I think the message
00:20:19 --> 00:20:23 there could be read by anybody and I
00:20:23 --> 00:20:25 don't think you need you need to be in
00:20:25 --> 00:20:29 the LGBTQ space or heteros. I just think
00:20:29 --> 00:20:31 it's just it's for everybody. Yeah.
00:20:31 --> 00:20:33 Right. But and then we're going to talk
00:20:33 --> 00:20:36 about the silencing of, you know,
00:20:36 --> 00:20:38 people's voices when it comes to writing
00:20:38 --> 00:20:40 books and how certain books are are
00:20:40 --> 00:20:43 condemned and and things like that. But
00:20:43 --> 00:20:45 just tell us a little bit like why did
00:20:45 --> 00:20:47 you write the book? like how did that
00:20:47 --> 00:20:48 come about and tell us the name of the
00:20:48 --> 00:20:50 book too if you want to start with that.
00:20:50 --> 00:20:54 Yes. Um so I wrote a children's book
00:20:54 --> 00:20:58 called My Name is Troy. Um and it came
00:20:58 --> 00:21:00 about I would say several years ago on
00:21:00 --> 00:21:05 social media. I remember seeing um a lot
00:21:05 --> 00:21:08 of trans youth coming out and being
00:21:08 --> 00:21:12 loved and accepted by their parents. Um
00:21:12 --> 00:21:16 and so one particular um case I saw a
00:21:16 --> 00:21:19 young black trans boy um his mother, his
00:21:19 --> 00:21:21 black mother and it was just like you
00:21:22 --> 00:21:26 know it was very in um just a very
00:21:26 --> 00:21:30 affirming thing to see. Um, you know,
00:21:30 --> 00:21:33 one of the things that, you know, we in
00:21:33 --> 00:21:34 the black community, we would talk about
00:21:34 --> 00:21:36 like this is something that white kids,
00:21:36 --> 00:21:40 you know, experience. Um, but not so
00:21:40 --> 00:21:43 much in the black community. Um, so when
00:21:43 --> 00:21:46 I saw that and heard their story, it was
00:21:46 --> 00:21:49 very powerful to me. Um, and it caused
00:21:49 --> 00:21:51 me to reflect on my childhood and my
00:21:51 --> 00:21:53 transition and my life. Um, and
00:21:53 --> 00:21:56 unfortunately I didn't have the support
00:21:56 --> 00:21:58 um that I saw this young black trans boy
00:21:58 --> 00:22:03 um receive from his parents. Um, but it
00:22:03 --> 00:22:05 was just kind of me reimagining
00:22:05 --> 00:22:07 um what would it look like for me as a
00:22:07 --> 00:22:10 child to to be supported and affirmed
00:22:10 --> 00:22:13 and loved by my family. Um, and you
00:22:13 --> 00:22:15 know, and it also made me reflect about,
00:22:15 --> 00:22:19 you know, what what tools and resources
00:22:19 --> 00:22:22 are out there for young black trans boys
00:22:22 --> 00:22:24 or just young black trans youth in
00:22:24 --> 00:22:27 general. Um, a lot of the books that I
00:22:27 --> 00:22:29 saw, I saw a lot of queer and trans
00:22:29 --> 00:22:31 books. Um, but the characters were
00:22:31 --> 00:22:34 white. Um, so I wanted to create
00:22:34 --> 00:22:36 something specifically
00:22:36 --> 00:22:39 uh for young black trans boys, young
00:22:39 --> 00:22:41 black trans youth. um something that
00:22:41 --> 00:22:44 they could read and and see
00:22:44 --> 00:22:46 representation,
00:22:46 --> 00:22:49 you know, um and just, you know, be seen
00:22:49 --> 00:22:51 and know that, you know, their stories
00:22:51 --> 00:22:54 are out there and just kind of put
00:22:54 --> 00:22:55 something together that they can relate
00:22:55 --> 00:22:59 to um and be encouraged by.
00:22:59 --> 00:23:01 Very good. All right. So, if you don't
00:23:02 --> 00:23:04 mind, I'm going to read two pages from
00:23:04 --> 00:23:07 the book. So, I ordered this book hoping
00:23:07 --> 00:23:10 I would get it in the mail prior to
00:23:10 --> 00:23:14 keeping this podcast, y'all.
00:23:14 --> 00:23:18 But even if I paid for the expedited, it
00:23:18 --> 00:23:20 was still wasn't going to get here. So,
00:23:20 --> 00:23:21 I So, I messaged him. I was like, "Yo, I
00:23:22 --> 00:23:23 need to read this book. I need to see
00:23:23 --> 00:23:27 what's up." So, he emailed me the u
00:23:27 --> 00:23:29 digital copy. So, I was really happy to
00:23:29 --> 00:23:32 see that. Um, and I read it and I just
00:23:32 --> 00:23:34 wanted to like remember I said one thing
00:23:34 --> 00:23:35 I like about the book was how
00:23:35 --> 00:23:38 affirmative it sounded. Like just so
00:23:38 --> 00:23:41 reassuring, so reforming. It's okay to
00:23:41 --> 00:23:43 be you. You know what I'm saying? Like
00:23:43 --> 00:23:46 we were talking earlier like when people
00:23:46 --> 00:23:48 when kids are growing up trying to
00:23:48 --> 00:23:51 identify with the right gender, they're
00:23:51 --> 00:23:53 they struggle, they fight with
00:23:53 --> 00:23:55 themselves like you know what I'm
00:23:55 --> 00:23:57 saying? I'm this is what I like but this
00:23:57 --> 00:24:00 is not what society want me to like or
00:24:00 --> 00:24:02 this is not what they they claim I'm or
00:24:02 --> 00:24:04 what I'm supposed to like they question
00:24:04 --> 00:24:07 themselves so much I think that's the
00:24:07 --> 00:24:10 genesis right and this book talks I
00:24:10 --> 00:24:11 don't know what page this is cuz this is
00:24:11 --> 00:24:13 not the digital copy is not by the
00:24:13 --> 00:24:14 number I would have told you guys what
00:24:14 --> 00:24:17 page it was but it says it's okay that I
00:24:17 --> 00:24:19 like the color blue I like to play in
00:24:19 --> 00:24:22 the rain and hop like a
00:24:22 --> 00:24:24 kangaroo it's okay that I like to play
00:24:24 --> 00:24:26 sports I don't like skirts, but I love
00:24:26 --> 00:24:30 my red striped shorts. Right. It just
00:24:30 --> 00:24:32 talks
00:24:32 --> 00:24:37 about it's okay to be you. Mhm. If you
00:24:37 --> 00:24:40 like blue, it's okay to be blue. I don't
00:24:40 --> 00:24:42 think it's fair that I would say I like
00:24:42 --> 00:24:43 blue. And somebody comes up to me and
00:24:43 --> 00:24:46 say, "No, you should like orange."
00:24:46 --> 00:24:49 You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Mhm. So
00:24:49 --> 00:24:52 for those for for when you think about
00:24:52 --> 00:24:55 when you think about being sanctimonial
00:24:55 --> 00:24:57 um when you view other
00:24:57 --> 00:25:01 people, I just want you to question
00:25:01 --> 00:25:02 yourself
00:25:02 --> 00:25:07 also that if I'm look if if if I like
00:25:07 --> 00:25:10 something and somebody comes from the
00:25:10 --> 00:25:13 outside and wants me to like the other
00:25:13 --> 00:25:16 thing, how will that make you feel? Mhm.
00:25:16 --> 00:25:20 Mhm. Words are powerful.
00:25:20 --> 00:25:23 Words can be used to make one happy.
00:25:23 --> 00:25:26 Words can be used to make one sad.
00:25:26 --> 00:25:29 Sometimes the word you have to use or
00:25:29 --> 00:25:31 need to use on someone might be
00:25:31 --> 00:25:34 necessarily considered the truth. But
00:25:34 --> 00:25:38 even in that case, be mindful. And also
00:25:38 --> 00:25:41 be sure to always provide additional
00:25:41 --> 00:25:45 context in what you're saying. That way
00:25:45 --> 00:25:48 you would, you know, be at a space where
00:25:48 --> 00:25:52 your word is not coming as a bullet or
00:25:52 --> 00:25:56 triggering cuz again words are powerful.
00:25:56 --> 00:25:58 Words can be dangerous. The same way
00:25:58 --> 00:26:01 words can be reaffirming and show love
00:26:01 --> 00:26:03 and do all that good stuff. Absolutely.
00:26:03 --> 00:26:07 All right. Yes. That is the
00:26:07 --> 00:26:10 You've had several movements, right? Um
00:26:10 --> 00:26:12 tell us a little bit
00:26:12 --> 00:26:16 uh why I know you're going to talk um
00:26:16 --> 00:26:19 why you um decided to form the
00:26:19 --> 00:26:21 organization you have where you trans
00:26:21 --> 00:26:23 march trans thank you sorry I was
00:26:23 --> 00:26:25 thinking about that uh the trans march
00:26:25 --> 00:26:27 tell us a little bit about that why you
00:26:27 --> 00:26:30 got into it the success rate and how
00:26:30 --> 00:26:33 it's been helpful to the society or the
00:26:33 --> 00:26:37 community uh yes so um as I said
00:26:37 --> 00:26:39 previously I've always been an advocate
00:26:39 --> 00:26:43 kid. Um I just think it's it was part of
00:26:43 --> 00:26:47 growing up in Philly. You know Philly,
00:26:47 --> 00:26:49 you know anything about Philly? Philly,
00:26:49 --> 00:26:51 city of
00:26:51 --> 00:26:54 um you know Philly is the city of many
00:26:54 --> 00:26:56 movements. It was the first capital of
00:26:56 --> 00:26:59 the US. Um and so just having that
00:27:00 --> 00:27:01 backdrop,
00:27:01 --> 00:27:05 um I was born literally 12 days before
00:27:05 --> 00:27:07 the move bombing. Um if anybody knows
00:27:07 --> 00:27:11 about that. So, um I just think that
00:27:11 --> 00:27:12 being an advocate and being a warrior
00:27:12 --> 00:27:15 for my people has just always been, um
00:27:15 --> 00:27:20 ingrained in me since birth. Um and so,
00:27:20 --> 00:27:22 uh throughout the years, I would always
00:27:22 --> 00:27:24 attend many different rallies and
00:27:24 --> 00:27:28 demonstrations, um in support of many
00:27:28 --> 00:27:31 marginalized communities, um people with
00:27:31 --> 00:27:35 disabilities, undocumented folks, um
00:27:35 --> 00:27:38 LGBT folks. Um, in Philly we had a we
00:27:38 --> 00:27:40 had a dyke march that occurred every
00:27:40 --> 00:27:43 year that I would attend. Um, you know,
00:27:43 --> 00:27:45 and it was just just part of me, you
00:27:45 --> 00:27:48 know, being a brother, you know, um, in
00:27:48 --> 00:27:51 my community. Um, so unfortunately in
00:27:52 --> 00:27:57 2020 2010, um, 2010, um, a black trans
00:27:57 --> 00:28:00 woman by the name of Stacy Blonnik uh,
00:28:00 --> 00:28:03 was murdered in South Philly. Um, and
00:28:03 --> 00:28:07 I'm from South Philly. Uh so it you know
00:28:07 --> 00:28:09 it affected me in many different
00:28:09 --> 00:28:10 different ways and many different
00:28:10 --> 00:28:13 reasons but I happened to attend her
00:28:13 --> 00:28:16 funeral um in support of a friend of
00:28:16 --> 00:28:19 mine at the time and it was my first
00:28:19 --> 00:28:23 trans funeral I attended and um it just
00:28:23 --> 00:28:26 caused me to feel many many mixed
00:28:26 --> 00:28:27 emotions.
00:28:28 --> 00:28:31 Um, but I know that when I left, I felt
00:28:31 --> 00:28:34 like something needed to be done, like
00:28:34 --> 00:28:37 we couldn't just stop at this funeral.
00:28:37 --> 00:28:39 Um, and there were many, like I said,
00:28:39 --> 00:28:40 there were many movements in the city,
00:28:40 --> 00:28:42 but I didn't see anything for trans
00:28:42 --> 00:28:45 people. Um, and so, you know, I said I
00:28:46 --> 00:28:49 wanted to create a trans march, um, to
00:28:49 --> 00:28:51 demand justice for Stacy Blanik and her
00:28:51 --> 00:28:55 family. Um, and to also kind of create a
00:28:55 --> 00:28:57 platform where black and brown trans
00:28:57 --> 00:29:00 people can, you know, share their
00:29:01 --> 00:29:04 experiences, make demands from the city,
00:29:04 --> 00:29:06 um, you know, and just use their voices
00:29:06 --> 00:29:09 to advocate for themselves. So, uh, I
00:29:09 --> 00:29:12 was able to gather a committee the first
00:29:12 --> 00:29:15 year to help, um, organize it. Um, we
00:29:16 --> 00:29:18 had it in Love Park. Uh I it was
00:29:18 --> 00:29:20 symbolic for me to have it, you know, in
00:29:20 --> 00:29:23 Love Park to kind of um you know, center
00:29:23 --> 00:29:27 that theme of love. And we had about 350
00:29:27 --> 00:29:29 people the first year, which was
00:29:29 --> 00:29:33 awesome. Yeah. Um and it just kept
00:29:33 --> 00:29:36 growing from there. Uh the last march I
00:29:36 --> 00:29:37 organized was in
00:29:37 --> 00:29:41 2019. Um it still occurs today. I don't
00:29:41 --> 00:29:43 know what's going on with it now. um you
00:29:44 --> 00:29:46 started something started something, you
00:29:46 --> 00:29:49 know, but um I definitely um you know
00:29:49 --> 00:29:51 was honored and I felt like I was in the
00:29:51 --> 00:29:53 right place at the right time to be able
00:29:53 --> 00:29:55 to to birth that movement. Yeah. It's a
00:29:55 --> 00:29:56 legacy, you know what I'm saying? That
00:29:56 --> 00:29:58 you'll be remembered by and you also be
00:29:58 --> 00:30:00 proud of to look at to say I saw
00:30:00 --> 00:30:01 something and I did something. You know
00:30:02 --> 00:30:03 what I'm saying? You don't just see
00:30:03 --> 00:30:04 something and do nothing. Just like when
00:30:04 --> 00:30:05 you go to the airport, they say, "What
00:30:05 --> 00:30:08 is that saying at the airport?"
00:30:08 --> 00:30:11 Say something, right?
00:30:11 --> 00:30:13 Yeah. So you see you if you're moved by
00:30:13 --> 00:30:16 what the the the different you know
00:30:16 --> 00:30:18 aspects of life or things that you know
00:30:18 --> 00:30:20 that you want to see change it's
00:30:20 --> 00:30:22 important that you get up speak up do
00:30:22 --> 00:30:24 something about it so I commend you for
00:30:24 --> 00:30:27 doing that. Thank you. Um and then after
00:30:27 --> 00:30:28 that
00:30:28 --> 00:30:31 um how did you get into the doula the
00:30:31 --> 00:30:35 birth space to become that tell us a
00:30:35 --> 00:30:37 little bit about that and you know I
00:30:37 --> 00:30:38 loved your story because you said you
00:30:38 --> 00:30:40 actually didn't pay for the class
00:30:40 --> 00:30:43 yourself you had you had like yeah so
00:30:43 --> 00:30:46 tell us give us a tea hopefully
00:30:46 --> 00:30:48 hopefully somebody might get lucky out
00:30:48 --> 00:30:50 there or maybe do some research through
00:30:50 --> 00:30:53 you believe believe that there there
00:30:53 --> 00:30:55 organizations there or there people out
00:30:55 --> 00:30:58 there who, you know what I'm saying? No,
00:30:58 --> 00:31:00 are concerned about this and want to
00:31:00 --> 00:31:02 help to do something about it. So, just
00:31:02 --> 00:31:04 tell us a little bit more about that.
00:31:04 --> 00:31:06 Yeah. Um, so, um, there was a friend of
00:31:06 --> 00:31:09 mine who,
00:31:09 --> 00:31:12 uh, got pregnant. He was a trans man, a
00:31:12 --> 00:31:17 black trans man, and um he just uh kind
00:31:17 --> 00:31:21 of went um on his own campaign and
00:31:21 --> 00:31:24 shared his experiences uh in the
00:31:24 --> 00:31:28 hospital as a birthing black transman.
00:31:28 --> 00:31:30 And the things that I heard to me were
00:31:30 --> 00:31:34 horrifying. Um, you know, people,
00:31:34 --> 00:31:38 nurses, doctors walking by his room.
00:31:38 --> 00:31:43 Um, making jokes, whispering, um, some
00:31:43 --> 00:31:46 nurses not barely wanting to touch him.
00:31:46 --> 00:31:49 Um, you know, and just not taking him
00:31:49 --> 00:31:53 seriously, you know, not responding, um,
00:31:53 --> 00:31:56 you know, to to his expressions of pain
00:31:56 --> 00:31:59 and things like that. Um, so, you know,
00:31:59 --> 00:32:03 that was very disheartening to hear. Um,
00:32:03 --> 00:32:05 I already knew about what black sis
00:32:05 --> 00:32:10 women u were going through. Um, and so
00:32:10 --> 00:32:12 to hear his
00:32:12 --> 00:32:14 experience. Um, in my head I'm just
00:32:14 --> 00:32:17 like, well, you know, what what is
00:32:17 --> 00:32:19 preventing black trans men from going
00:32:19 --> 00:32:21 through the same thing that that black
00:32:21 --> 00:32:23 sis men are going through? Um, cis women
00:32:23 --> 00:32:25 are going through. And so, you know, I
00:32:25 --> 00:32:27 just wanted to do something. I wanted to
00:32:27 --> 00:32:30 kind of get ahead of the thing. Um, and
00:32:30 --> 00:32:32 so I
00:32:32 --> 00:32:36 I saw this program, uh, Doula Trainings
00:32:36 --> 00:32:39 International. Um, and they were
00:32:39 --> 00:32:41 offering a trans scholarship for doulas.
00:32:42 --> 00:32:44 And for me, like that was the ticket and
00:32:44 --> 00:32:47 like this is how I can help. This is how
00:32:47 --> 00:32:51 I can advocate and educate. Um, so you
00:32:51 --> 00:32:53 know, I'm very thankful for the
00:32:54 --> 00:32:56 scholarship that was that was given. Um,
00:32:56 --> 00:32:59 they were based in Brooklyn. So, um, you
00:32:59 --> 00:33:01 know, I just had to go to Brooklyn. Oh,
00:33:01 --> 00:33:04 wow. Okay. And, um, the training drive.
00:33:04 --> 00:33:10 Yeah. It was a bus trip, Chinese bus.
00:33:10 --> 00:33:14 Yeah. You train that bus from here. They
00:33:14 --> 00:33:16 take the bus from here to New York for
00:33:16 --> 00:33:17 like a dollar.
00:33:17 --> 00:33:22 Yeah. So, I don't think
00:33:22 --> 00:33:24 but yeah, I just hopped on the bus. Um,
00:33:24 --> 00:33:26 you know, and it was a great experience.
00:33:26 --> 00:33:31 I was the only man uh trans or cis in in
00:33:31 --> 00:33:34 the class. Um, I was lucky. I felt kind
00:33:34 --> 00:33:36 of lucky. How did that feel? I was going
00:33:36 --> 00:33:38 to ask like how did that feel? Yes. You
00:33:38 --> 00:33:40 know, I love I love women, you know,
00:33:40 --> 00:33:43 especially black women. So just to be
00:33:43 --> 00:33:45 surrounded, you know, by bunch of
00:33:45 --> 00:33:47 beautiful black women, I had no
00:33:47 --> 00:33:49 complaints. That's right. No complaints.
00:33:49 --> 00:33:52 No complaints at all. Um but yeah, the
00:33:52 --> 00:33:56 class was very um gender affirming. Um
00:33:56 --> 00:33:58 you know, the language that they use, it
00:33:58 --> 00:34:01 wasn't solely centered around mothers.
00:34:02 --> 00:34:04 Um, you know, so I just felt like the
00:34:04 --> 00:34:07 educators and the training trainers were
00:34:07 --> 00:34:10 very um knowledgeable of of trans
00:34:10 --> 00:34:12 experiences and made the training all
00:34:12 --> 00:34:15 inclusive. I love it. Very good. Very
00:34:15 --> 00:34:18 good. Excellent. That's excellent. So,
00:34:18 --> 00:34:22 um,
00:34:22 --> 00:34:24 all right. Well, it's been a pleasure
00:34:24 --> 00:34:27 having you. Thank you.
00:34:27 --> 00:34:30 Thanks for all your education.
00:34:30 --> 00:34:32 Um, yeah. and we'll be talking again in
00:34:32 --> 00:34:35 the future topics too. I love the fact
00:34:35 --> 00:34:37 that you know you're you're in the
00:34:37 --> 00:34:40 psychology space because I think you
00:34:40 --> 00:34:43 know the study of human study of mind is
00:34:43 --> 00:34:45 so important and you also did sociology
00:34:45 --> 00:34:47 right? Yes. So psychology sociology like
00:34:47 --> 00:34:49 they intertwine. So once you do that
00:34:49 --> 00:34:52 it's so easy to be able to understand
00:34:52 --> 00:34:54 why people do the things they do. Yes.
00:34:54 --> 00:34:56 but also internally and also and then
00:34:56 --> 00:34:58 social how
00:34:58 --> 00:35:01 social background can affect someone's
00:35:01 --> 00:35:03 behavior and character. So, you have a
00:35:03 --> 00:35:05 lot on on your plate to share with us.
00:35:05 --> 00:35:06 So, we'll be welcoming you again. Thank
00:35:06 --> 00:35:08 you so much for having us on the Thank
00:35:08 --> 00:35:10 you for having me. Thank you. Peace
00:35:10 --> 00:35:12 y'all.
00:35:12 --> 00:35:15 So, um speaking of, you know, you just
00:35:15 --> 00:35:17 being a dueler and just getting that
00:35:17 --> 00:35:18 training.
00:35:18 --> 00:35:21 Um do you feel like we need
00:35:21 --> 00:35:23 more
00:35:23 --> 00:35:27 transgen who in that space and why?
00:35:27 --> 00:35:31 Absolutely. Absolutely. Um just because
00:35:31 --> 00:35:33 the advocacy is needed. Um there's
00:35:33 --> 00:35:35 education that's needed and there's
00:35:35 --> 00:35:38 advocacy that's needed. Um you'd be
00:35:38 --> 00:35:41 amazed what medical students are
00:35:41 --> 00:35:43 actually learning in medical school when
00:35:43 --> 00:35:46 it comes to trans people. um our bodies,
00:35:46 --> 00:35:49 our experiences and things like that. Um
00:35:49 --> 00:35:51 I've actually have trained medical
00:35:51 --> 00:35:55 students at Yale and Harvard um on the
00:35:55 --> 00:35:56 very thing um because they're not
00:35:56 --> 00:35:58 they're not learning it in medical
00:35:58 --> 00:36:01 school. Um so I definitely think doulas
00:36:02 --> 00:36:06 are needed to provide services to LGBTQ
00:36:06 --> 00:36:10 plus people across the board. Um
00:36:10 --> 00:36:13 especially though trans trans men uh and
00:36:13 --> 00:36:17 black trans men. Um I think that you
00:36:17 --> 00:36:21 know doulas we are advocates. We are
00:36:21 --> 00:36:25 people on the front line um fighting uh
00:36:26 --> 00:36:28 for people in their most vulnerable
00:36:28 --> 00:36:29 moment.
00:36:29 --> 00:36:33 And you know when we talk about black
00:36:33 --> 00:36:36 advocates and black doulas um I think
00:36:36 --> 00:36:40 it's important to advocate for us
00:36:40 --> 00:36:42 collectively. You know I don't think it
00:36:42 --> 00:36:45 is necessarily
00:36:45 --> 00:36:48 um helpful to to the movement to the
00:36:48 --> 00:36:50 reproductive justice movement to kind of
00:36:50 --> 00:36:53 be selective about you know what black
00:36:53 --> 00:36:55 people you want to support what black
00:36:55 --> 00:36:57 people you want to you know stand in
00:36:57 --> 00:37:00 solidarity with. Um especially when we
00:37:00 --> 00:37:03 all have one oppressor in common, you
00:37:03 --> 00:37:07 know. Um our oppressors do not care if
00:37:07 --> 00:37:08 we're trans. They don't care if we're
00:37:08 --> 00:37:11 gay or straight. Um what they're focused
00:37:11 --> 00:37:14 on is is our blackness, you know. Um, so
00:37:14 --> 00:37:18 I think, you know, realizing
00:37:18 --> 00:37:20 intersectionality,
00:37:20 --> 00:37:22 um, the the similarities in our
00:37:22 --> 00:37:24 experiences, you know, acknowledging the
00:37:24 --> 00:37:27 differences in our experiences,
00:37:27 --> 00:37:30 um, is is important, but, you know,
00:37:30 --> 00:37:32 coming together and realizing that we're
00:37:32 --> 00:37:35 all being oppressed um, by the same
00:37:35 --> 00:37:37 people, by the same systems.
00:37:37 --> 00:37:40 And you know there's power in in
00:37:40 --> 00:37:45 numbers. You know people power is a real
00:37:45 --> 00:37:47 thing. Um I don't think it's anything
00:37:47 --> 00:37:49 wrong with having a specialty as a
00:37:49 --> 00:37:52 doula. Um I think you know that's that's
00:37:52 --> 00:37:55 perfectly fine. But I do think um being
00:37:55 --> 00:37:59 educated um and being knowledgeable um
00:37:59 --> 00:38:01 about the fact that number one we exist.
00:38:01 --> 00:38:04 Um yes we can take that exist. Yeah. I
00:38:04 --> 00:38:06 love that you said that. that you we
00:38:06 --> 00:38:08 exist that you guys exist, right? Or we
00:38:08 --> 00:38:12 all exist or whatever. Like just don't
00:38:12 --> 00:38:14 shut that don't shut it down. Like you
00:38:14 --> 00:38:16 can't shut it down. Like you you can try
00:38:16 --> 00:38:20 to but it is what it is, right? So I
00:38:20 --> 00:38:21 think the bottom line that's why at the
00:38:21 --> 00:38:23 beginning of the podcast we were talking
00:38:23 --> 00:38:25 about education, right? So the bottom
00:38:25 --> 00:38:29 line is know Yeah. know it. Yep.
00:38:29 --> 00:38:32 Understand it. Mhm. Right. Anyway, I'm
00:38:32 --> 00:38:35 sorry. I digress. I No. Apologies. Yeah.
00:38:35 --> 00:38:40 exist to say that. Um, and you
00:38:40 --> 00:38:43 know, there are trans people having
00:38:43 --> 00:38:44 babies. There are trans people, you
00:38:44 --> 00:38:47 know, wanting to raise families and
00:38:47 --> 00:38:49 create those families. And, you know, in
00:38:49 --> 00:38:52 2025, it's happening. You know, it's
00:38:52 --> 00:38:55 it's, you know, um, I know that we're in
00:38:55 --> 00:39:00 tense political times. um you know, but
00:39:00 --> 00:39:02 you know, this community, we've we've
00:39:02 --> 00:39:04 always thrived and we've always pushed
00:39:04 --> 00:39:06 forward and so that's what we're going
00:39:06 --> 00:39:08 to continue to do. So, I you know, like
00:39:08 --> 00:39:10 I said, I think it's important for for
00:39:10 --> 00:39:12 all doulas to to at least have the
00:39:12 --> 00:39:14 education.
00:39:14 --> 00:39:16 And I want to hit on something you said
00:39:16 --> 00:39:20 about um just the existence, right? Um,
00:39:20 --> 00:39:22 what do you have to say to those parents
00:39:22 --> 00:39:25 who feel like, oh, I'm going to shield
00:39:25 --> 00:39:28 my child against, you know, this aspect
00:39:28 --> 00:39:30 of reality? Like, you know what I'm
00:39:30 --> 00:39:33 saying? It's like, I'm not going to like
00:39:33 --> 00:39:34 I'm going to protect myself and my
00:39:34 --> 00:39:37 daughter or my son against this, you
00:39:37 --> 00:39:42 know, LGBTQ books or just seeing it or
00:39:42 --> 00:39:43 you know what I'm saying? So it's like
00:39:43 --> 00:39:45 what do you say to those parents who
00:39:45 --> 00:39:48 think like just keeping it a secret from
00:39:48 --> 00:39:50 their growing child in the world that
00:39:50 --> 00:39:53 they will be exposed to again later it's
00:39:53 --> 00:39:55 just like alcohol like you know what I'm
00:39:55 --> 00:39:58 saying I mean I'm not I don't alcohol
00:39:58 --> 00:40:03 but it's it's there right um you get to
00:40:03 --> 00:40:05 a point where your child will become an
00:40:05 --> 00:40:08 adult and they can drink like do you
00:40:08 --> 00:40:10 want your child not to know or what
00:40:10 --> 00:40:13 alcohol is at all and just be 21 and
00:40:13 --> 00:40:16 then find out about alcohol and then
00:40:16 --> 00:40:18 maybe like when they delve into it like
00:40:18 --> 00:40:20 they're dev they get into it in a way
00:40:20 --> 00:40:22 that's uncontrollable because that's
00:40:22 --> 00:40:24 what will happen. But anyway, how do you
00:40:24 --> 00:40:27 think like what education or what piece
00:40:27 --> 00:40:29 of information or advice do you have for
00:40:29 --> 00:40:31 those parents who think just shielding
00:40:31 --> 00:40:33 their kids or protect thinking they're
00:40:33 --> 00:40:35 protecting their kids against this
00:40:35 --> 00:40:37 information that is so real? Um what
00:40:37 --> 00:40:39 what do you think you would do to them
00:40:39 --> 00:40:40 like or what do you have message you
00:40:40 --> 00:40:41 have for them?
00:40:41 --> 00:40:44 Well, I first want to say I think
00:40:45 --> 00:40:48 it's I think I don't blame any parent
00:40:48 --> 00:40:51 from wanting to shield a child from
00:40:51 --> 00:40:53 something that they believe is going to
00:40:53 --> 00:40:57 be harmful to that child. Um that that
00:40:58 --> 00:41:01 is what you should be doing, right? Um
00:41:01 --> 00:41:05 the the problem is is that is this
00:41:05 --> 00:41:07 knowledge truly harmful? you know, is
00:41:07 --> 00:41:11 learning about LGBTQ people harming the
00:41:12 --> 00:41:15 child, right? Um I don't think quote
00:41:15 --> 00:41:18 unquote shielding your child from um
00:41:18 --> 00:41:22 queer content or queer history um is
00:41:22 --> 00:41:24 going
00:41:24 --> 00:41:27 to keep them from being queer
00:41:27 --> 00:41:32 themselves. Um I didn't grow up reading
00:41:32 --> 00:41:34 queer books. I didn't grow up, you know,
00:41:34 --> 00:41:36 watching, you know, I didn't grow up
00:41:36 --> 00:41:38 watching RuPaul's Drag Race. I didn't,
00:41:38 --> 00:41:41 you know, I my family is Jamaican, you
00:41:41 --> 00:41:44 know, so if anybody knows anybody about,
00:41:44 --> 00:41:46 you know, Jamaican culture, you know,
00:41:46 --> 00:41:49 like, you know, queerness was
00:41:49 --> 00:41:51 definitely, you know, very far removed
00:41:51 --> 00:41:54 from my upbringing. Um but there will
00:41:54 --> 00:41:57 always come a time where your child
00:41:57 --> 00:42:00 becomes an individual
00:42:00 --> 00:42:03 you know and yes they can learn from you
00:42:03 --> 00:42:06 and you know you can kind of you know
00:42:06 --> 00:42:08 try to shape their morals and values and
00:42:08 --> 00:42:09 things like that but at the end of the
00:42:09 --> 00:42:12 day like you know me being an individual
00:42:12 --> 00:42:14 my own person that's that's the thing
00:42:14 --> 00:42:18 that I grew into. Um, so it doesn't
00:42:18 --> 00:42:20 matter like what books or what cartoons
00:42:20 --> 00:42:24 or what movies I read or watched, I was
00:42:24 --> 00:42:25 always going to become who I was going
00:42:25 --> 00:42:28 to become. Um, so I think that's
00:42:28 --> 00:42:31 important to remember. Um, and you know,
00:42:31 --> 00:42:33 you can only shield so much. You know,
00:42:34 --> 00:42:37 kids go to school, they have friends,
00:42:37 --> 00:42:38 you know, they're they're in sports and
00:42:38 --> 00:42:40 things like that. So they're not just
00:42:40 --> 00:42:43 being exposed to whatever um, you know,
00:42:43 --> 00:42:46 you teach at home. Gotcha. So I think
00:42:46 --> 00:42:48 it's I think it's important to
00:42:48 --> 00:42:51 to educate them in a in a responsible
00:42:51 --> 00:42:55 way. Um you know and and I also think it
00:42:55 --> 00:42:57 prevents bullying. You know what I mean?
00:42:57 --> 00:43:01 When you are taught very early on that
00:43:01 --> 00:43:03 differences are okay. You know that we
00:43:03 --> 00:43:05 can celebrate differences. We don't have
00:43:05 --> 00:43:08 to fear them um or criminalize or
00:43:08 --> 00:43:10 demonize them. Then you kind of like
00:43:10 --> 00:43:12 kind of get in front of that. You know
00:43:12 --> 00:43:15 you can prevent bullying. So when you
00:43:15 --> 00:43:17 know a child does come into contact with
00:43:17 --> 00:43:19 somebody who's different, whether it's a
00:43:19 --> 00:43:21 child who's queer or one who has
00:43:21 --> 00:43:23 disabilities or one who speaks a
00:43:23 --> 00:43:26 different language, um they have that
00:43:26 --> 00:43:29 accepting um behavior already ingrained
00:43:29 --> 00:43:32 in them. All right. Very good. Speaking
00:43:32 --> 00:43:34 of education, I think uh you also
00:43:34 --> 00:43:36 touched on something uh that I want to
00:43:36 --> 00:43:40 delve into. You said some that you
00:43:40 --> 00:43:44 educate Harvard and Howard.
00:43:44 --> 00:43:46 medical student. Like, can I just repeat
00:43:46 --> 00:43:48 that?
00:43:48 --> 00:43:50 Yes. Yeah. Like,
00:43:50 --> 00:43:54 um I mean, if I pay a Harvard tuition,
00:43:54 --> 00:43:57 like I'm expecting, like, you know what
00:43:57 --> 00:43:59 I'm saying to know it all? Like, maybe
00:43:59 --> 00:44:01 that's an ignorant statement to make. I
00:44:01 --> 00:44:02 stand
00:44:02 --> 00:44:05 corrected, but um if you know it's a
00:44:05 --> 00:44:06 prestigious school, but anyway, I
00:44:06 --> 00:44:11 digress. Um yeah. So about that, how
00:44:11 --> 00:44:14 come like how like why why do you think
00:44:14 --> 00:44:17 is it that they held that piece of
00:44:17 --> 00:44:19 information away from them? Like as it
00:44:19 --> 00:44:23 is not I mean cuz as as a medical
00:44:23 --> 00:44:26 student, a doctor like you're not
00:44:26 --> 00:44:28 supposed to be trained in just you're
00:44:28 --> 00:44:32 trained in the human,
00:44:32 --> 00:44:34 you know what I'm saying, anatomy or
00:44:34 --> 00:44:38 biology, right? Mhm. So I I I think it's
00:44:38 --> 00:44:39 it's my first time hearing it and I'm
00:44:40 --> 00:44:44 I'm I'm baffled like why that's a really
00:44:44 --> 00:44:46 serious piece of information like it's
00:44:46 --> 00:44:49 2025 like yes this is not a doctor that
00:44:49 --> 00:44:51 should not be ignorant about this fact
00:44:51 --> 00:44:52 and we're going to get into it again
00:44:52 --> 00:44:54 when we talk about get into more into
00:44:54 --> 00:44:55 this when we talk about you know the
00:44:55 --> 00:44:58 burden space and what they know when you
00:44:58 --> 00:45:00 know they're confronted with transgender
00:45:00 --> 00:45:02 men or women that are getting ready to
00:45:02 --> 00:45:04 have babies and stuff like that. So, but
00:45:04 --> 00:45:06 just provide more context to my
00:45:06 --> 00:45:09 question. Yeah. Um, I feel like the
00:45:09 --> 00:45:12 training came from, you know, a lot of
00:45:12 --> 00:45:14 trans people um, entering medical
00:45:14 --> 00:45:17 spaces, whether it's clinics or
00:45:17 --> 00:45:19 hospitals and things like that and just
00:45:19 --> 00:45:22 having these awful experiences um, and
00:45:22 --> 00:45:24 you know, making reports,
00:45:24 --> 00:45:27 um, complaining, you know, um, kind of
00:45:27 --> 00:45:30 bringing down um, ratings for hospitals
00:45:30 --> 00:45:32 and things like that. Nobody wants that.
00:45:32 --> 00:45:35 You're messing with our money. You hit
00:45:35 --> 00:45:36 their pocket. That's when you get them
00:45:36 --> 00:45:39 to stay in your pocket. That's what
00:45:39 --> 00:45:41 that's where you get them to listen to
00:45:41 --> 00:45:42 you. All right. Right. So there, you
00:45:42 --> 00:45:44 know, there are colleges and
00:45:44 --> 00:45:46 universities who try to take a
00:45:46 --> 00:45:49 preventative approach. That's right. Um
00:45:49 --> 00:45:52 and I think the the the most important
00:45:52 --> 00:45:54 thing is that they want to hear from
00:45:54 --> 00:45:56 trans people themselves. Correct. Um, so
00:45:56 --> 00:45:59 they bring us into the room, um, to
00:45:59 --> 00:46:01 educate and to train and, you know, to
00:46:01 --> 00:46:02 talk about the experiences and things
00:46:02 --> 00:46:05 like that. Um, you know, as opposed to
00:46:05 --> 00:46:08 somebody who is cisgender, not a part of
00:46:08 --> 00:46:10 the community, kind of just reading from
00:46:10 --> 00:46:13 a book, not really connecting with the
00:46:13 --> 00:46:15 information that they're teaching. Um,
00:46:15 --> 00:46:17 so often times, you know, it's it's kind
00:46:17 --> 00:46:19 of better when we are brought into the
00:46:19 --> 00:46:21 classrooms. Makes sense. Makes sense.
00:46:21 --> 00:46:23 Very practical. Yeah. And do you feel
00:46:23 --> 00:46:24 like sometimes some of our test books or
00:46:24 --> 00:46:26 the test books that this medical student
00:46:26 --> 00:46:28 read is deduced where it's like they
00:46:28 --> 00:46:32 take out certain p certain information
00:46:32 --> 00:46:36 intentionally just not, you know, giving
00:46:36 --> 00:46:38 them giving them the full spectrum of
00:46:38 --> 00:46:39 what they need to know because they're
00:46:39 --> 00:46:41 trying to protect certain information
00:46:42 --> 00:46:44 and protecting that certain information
00:46:44 --> 00:46:46 like I I feel like it's political,
00:46:46 --> 00:46:49 right? a lot of things, a lot of things
00:46:49 --> 00:46:52 that we find out recently. It's very
00:46:52 --> 00:46:53 political, you know. We're not going to
00:46:53 --> 00:46:54 delve into that's not what we're here
00:46:54 --> 00:47:00 for today. Um, but yeah, so I I I really
00:47:00 --> 00:47:02 do appreciate you um just, you know,
00:47:02 --> 00:47:05 standing up in different aspects, right?
00:47:05 --> 00:47:07 You do the rally, do the education and
00:47:07 --> 00:47:09 all that. So, tell us a little bit about
00:47:09 --> 00:47:12 your experience being a brother douler.
00:47:12 --> 00:47:14 like um I know when I spoke to you, you
00:47:14 --> 00:47:16 said you've
00:47:16 --> 00:47:21 um had like 20 births. Yes. How how is
00:47:21 --> 00:47:24 that? Just tell us like how do they like
00:47:24 --> 00:47:27 how do you get your clients and do they
00:47:27 --> 00:47:29 reach out to you? Like what's so special
00:47:29 --> 00:47:32 about coming to you? Mhm. Um so yes,
00:47:32 --> 00:47:35 when I when I first uh got my
00:47:35 --> 00:47:36 certification,
00:47:36 --> 00:47:42 I just ran with it. Um, and you know, I
00:47:42 --> 00:47:44 was meeting a need. So, I feel like
00:47:44 --> 00:47:46 that's why so many people, that's why I
00:47:46 --> 00:47:47 had so many births at first. So many
00:47:47 --> 00:47:50 people reached out to me. Um, because
00:47:50 --> 00:47:52 you know, trans and queer couples were
00:47:52 --> 00:47:55 looking for that type of support. Um,
00:47:55 --> 00:47:56 you know, and I just did a really good
00:47:56 --> 00:47:59 job promoting myself.
00:47:59 --> 00:48:02 They found me. It's great, y'all.
00:48:02 --> 00:48:04 Just saying. You told y'all the numbers.
00:48:04 --> 00:48:06 I earlier you said there's power in the
00:48:06 --> 00:48:10 numbers, right? All right. Yes. Um, but
00:48:10 --> 00:48:15 yeah, like I I am a fearless advocate.
00:48:15 --> 00:48:19 Um, so, you know, I don't I don't stray
00:48:19 --> 00:48:21 from threats or, you know, I don't get
00:48:21 --> 00:48:24 intimidated easily. So, I just think it
00:48:24 --> 00:48:26 was just the perfect role for me to be
00:48:26 --> 00:48:28 in. Um, a lot of times in the hospitals,
00:48:28 --> 00:48:30 I did have to I did have to buck up a
00:48:30 --> 00:48:32 little bit, you know, with the nurses
00:48:32 --> 00:48:34 and the doctors. Um, because, you know,
00:48:34 --> 00:48:36 they weren't being affirming. They
00:48:36 --> 00:48:38 weren't, you know, being as gentle as
00:48:38 --> 00:48:39 they should have. They weren't being as
00:48:39 --> 00:48:41 attentive as they should have. They
00:48:41 --> 00:48:43 weren't
00:48:43 --> 00:48:46 um, you
00:48:46 --> 00:48:49 know, allowing people to
00:48:49 --> 00:48:51 to put their preferences out there in
00:48:51 --> 00:48:53 terms of what they wanted their birth
00:48:53 --> 00:48:55 experience to be like. So, I had to be
00:48:55 --> 00:48:59 that that loud, you know,
00:48:59 --> 00:49:03 sometimes hard voice. Um, but you know,
00:49:03 --> 00:49:06 all for for the greater good, you know,
00:49:06 --> 00:49:08 all for the the health and wellness of
00:49:08 --> 00:49:12 the birthing parent and the baby. Um, so
00:49:12 --> 00:49:14 you know, I've it's been amazing working
00:49:14 --> 00:49:17 with so many people, the families I've
00:49:17 --> 00:49:20 worked with. Um, I would say as of late,
00:49:20 --> 00:49:22 I've taken more of an educational
00:49:22 --> 00:49:24 approach to my doula, which is good. Um,
00:49:24 --> 00:49:26 yeah, and that's, you know, that's the
00:49:26 --> 00:49:28 beauty of doula work. Like you can do so
00:49:28 --> 00:49:31 many things. you can make products, you
00:49:31 --> 00:49:34 can, you know, educate um or you can
00:49:34 --> 00:49:35 support people, you know, in their
00:49:35 --> 00:49:40 birthing um journeys. So, I've I've
00:49:40 --> 00:49:42 loved it so far. Awesome. Awesome. So,
00:49:42 --> 00:49:45 what does a typical birth plan looks
00:49:45 --> 00:49:50 like for uh a transgendale?
00:49:50 --> 00:49:53 Yeah. So, I mean, it it it is definitely
00:49:53 --> 00:49:58 individual. M so um it it depends you
00:49:58 --> 00:50:01 know what a person wants in your visions
00:50:01 --> 00:50:04 but you know you can decide how many
00:50:04 --> 00:50:06 people you want in the room who you want
00:50:06 --> 00:50:10 in the room um how do you want your your
00:50:10 --> 00:50:14 anatomy you know to be referred you know
00:50:14 --> 00:50:17 um do you want
00:50:17 --> 00:50:20 you know um
00:50:20 --> 00:50:23 instincts inserted into you do you know
00:50:23 --> 00:50:25 like gotcha okay you So, so these are
00:50:25 --> 00:50:28 the things that sometimes you also like
00:50:28 --> 00:50:30 educate people who may be going through
00:50:30 --> 00:50:32 that journey for the very first time
00:50:32 --> 00:50:34 like give them the expectation and all
00:50:34 --> 00:50:35 that. And then you know also like what
00:50:36 --> 00:50:37 what do you want to be called? Do you
00:50:37 --> 00:50:39 want to be called father? Are you the
00:50:39 --> 00:50:41 parent? You know do you have another
00:50:41 --> 00:50:44 name you want to be you know known as?
00:50:44 --> 00:50:46 So you know just just respecting you
00:50:46 --> 00:50:49 know a person's preferences. And the
00:50:49 --> 00:50:52 point of all of that is when you have a
00:50:52 --> 00:50:56 stressfree birth. Yes. You know, then
00:50:56 --> 00:50:58 you can thrive, your baby can thrive and
00:50:58 --> 00:51:01 that is the point of it all. Okay. All
00:51:02 --> 00:51:04 right. Very good. Very good. So, um I
00:51:04 --> 00:51:06 had another question and my question is
00:51:06 --> 00:51:09 around I don't know I don't know how
00:51:09 --> 00:51:12 we're going to answer this but so I
00:51:12 --> 00:51:16 found out that in Sweden Mhm. when a
00:51:16 --> 00:51:19 transgen um gives birth, trans male or
00:51:19 --> 00:51:22 something, right? Um on the birth
00:51:22 --> 00:51:27 certificate, they can um identify as I
00:51:27 --> 00:51:29 think mom or dad, whichever. Okay. But
00:51:29 --> 00:51:31 like in the UK and I believe in the
00:51:32 --> 00:51:33 United States, I didn't see about I
00:51:33 --> 00:51:34 didn't get the information, but I know
00:51:34 --> 00:51:37 UK it's you have a mom is a mom, a dad
00:51:37 --> 00:51:40 is a dad, but Sweden like they allow you
00:51:40 --> 00:51:43 that uh freedom to. Is that something
00:51:44 --> 00:51:45 like have you had clients who were
00:51:45 --> 00:51:47 concerned about that? Because I asked
00:51:48 --> 00:51:50 this question because of how
00:51:50 --> 00:51:53 um I've also been exposed to how
00:51:53 --> 00:51:55 important it is to use the right
00:51:55 --> 00:51:58 pronouns when talking like it's it's
00:51:58 --> 00:52:01 it's a thing like really it's like for
00:52:02 --> 00:52:04 example some and it and I say it's a
00:52:04 --> 00:52:07 thing because for me initially I I
00:52:07 --> 00:52:08 didn't think it was a thing. I didn't
00:52:08 --> 00:52:10 think it was a big deal. Mhm. Um but the
00:52:10 --> 00:52:14 way I've come to understand it is
00:52:14 --> 00:52:17 um it's like for example I have a friend
00:52:18 --> 00:52:21 whose name is Sarah. Mhm. It's spelled S
00:52:21 --> 00:52:25 A R A. Okay. However, if you make the
00:52:25 --> 00:52:29 mistake of spelling her name S A R A and
00:52:29 --> 00:52:33 put a H,
00:52:33 --> 00:52:36 she will be sure to correct you. Right.
00:52:36 --> 00:52:37 Yeah. And then I also had a manager
00:52:37 --> 00:52:40 whose name is uh what's her name again?
00:52:40 --> 00:52:45 Um Allison. Okay. And she goes by Ally
00:52:45 --> 00:52:46 to the extent even on the corporate
00:52:46 --> 00:52:49 directory she changed it to but there
00:52:49 --> 00:52:50 are certain documents where she can
00:52:50 --> 00:52:53 change it. So if you make a mistake and
00:52:53 --> 00:52:57 call her Allison is a problem, you know.
00:52:57 --> 00:53:01 So, so I had to get myself to confirm my
00:53:01 --> 00:53:03 mindset to understand that this is kind
00:53:03 --> 00:53:05 of where they're coming from when they
00:53:05 --> 00:53:08 say I want you to address me as the
00:53:08 --> 00:53:11 gender that I identify with. Absolutely.
00:53:11 --> 00:53:12 So, that's why I asked that question.
00:53:12 --> 00:53:14 So, if you can just elaborate on that a
00:53:14 --> 00:53:16 little bit like you know how important
00:53:16 --> 00:53:20 it is. Yeah. Um, yeah. So that so in
00:53:20 --> 00:53:22 terms of how a parent identifies on a
00:53:22 --> 00:53:25 birth certificate that is depending on
00:53:25 --> 00:53:27 your your state and your laws. Okay. Um
00:53:27 --> 00:53:30 I've seen some states, you know, they
00:53:30 --> 00:53:34 can identify um as a gender and role
00:53:34 --> 00:53:37 that aligns with their transition. Okay.
00:53:37 --> 00:53:39 Um other times it's the opposite. So you
00:53:39 --> 00:53:42 might have a trans man and the trans man
00:53:42 --> 00:53:45 might be listed as mother, okay, on the
00:53:45 --> 00:53:49 birth certificate. um which is you know
00:53:49 --> 00:53:51 at the time you have the spend of joy so
00:53:51 --> 00:53:52 you're not
00:53:52 --> 00:53:55 really focus on that but I'm sorry I
00:53:55 --> 00:53:57 didn't mean to cut you off I apologize.
00:53:57 --> 00:53:59 You're good.
00:53:59 --> 00:54:01 Do you from the top of your head know
00:54:01 --> 00:54:05 what states allow that or not? Yeah. No.
00:54:05 --> 00:54:07 Okay. Because this this this podcast I
00:54:07 --> 00:54:09 not a podcast but this guy I watched on
00:54:10 --> 00:54:14 YouTube he was he literally made plans
00:54:14 --> 00:54:18 to go have his baby in Sweden simply
00:54:18 --> 00:54:20 only for that particular reason. So I'm
00:54:20 --> 00:54:22 asking that here if we have states that
00:54:22 --> 00:54:24 you know what I'm saying I don't know I
00:54:24 --> 00:54:27 do know that I don't know
00:54:27 --> 00:54:30 again I'm being educated here and I hope
00:54:30 --> 00:54:32 you're getting some education too. No,
00:54:32 --> 00:54:34 there are definitely other places around
00:54:34 --> 00:54:36 the world who have better health care
00:54:36 --> 00:54:38 when it comes to trans people. Um, even
00:54:38 --> 00:54:41 even Canada. Um, Thailand is another
00:54:42 --> 00:54:43 place.
00:54:43 --> 00:54:47 Um, yeah, it's it's Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
00:54:47 --> 00:54:50 It's quite a few places, but um
00:54:50 --> 00:54:52 All right. So, let's talk let's talk
00:54:52 --> 00:54:57 insurance, right? Okay. I don't know if
00:54:57 --> 00:55:00 you so much. I hope we're not going over
00:55:00 --> 00:55:02 time, y'all.
00:55:02 --> 00:55:05 I'm into this. I hope you guys are.
00:55:05 --> 00:55:06 Let's talk about insurance. Like how
00:55:06 --> 00:55:09 does insurance work when you are a trans
00:55:09 --> 00:55:11 man, you know, or trans woman and you
00:55:12 --> 00:55:14 need that support in the burden space?
00:55:14 --> 00:55:17 Like any Yeah. educators. Thank you.
00:55:17 --> 00:55:19 It's it's really the same thing. Like
00:55:19 --> 00:55:22 it's it's it's so interesting because
00:55:22 --> 00:55:25 trans people our our lives are are so
00:55:25 --> 00:55:29 much dictated by by the law. M um and I
00:55:29 --> 00:55:31 think that's why, you know, we kind of
00:55:31 --> 00:55:33 go so hard when
00:55:33 --> 00:55:36 policies are are created that take away
00:55:36 --> 00:55:38 our right our rights and things like
00:55:38 --> 00:55:41 that. Um but it's really, you know,
00:55:41 --> 00:55:42 according to where you live at,
00:55:42 --> 00:55:45 according to the state. Um like in
00:55:45 --> 00:55:48 Philly, um a lot of the things um are
00:55:48 --> 00:55:50 covered that, you know, services we get
00:55:50 --> 00:55:52 are covered by insurance, they're
00:55:52 --> 00:55:55 covered by Medicaid. Some states they're
00:55:55 --> 00:55:58 not. Um, so it really depends where you
00:55:58 --> 00:56:00 live at. Um, a lot of places in the
00:56:00 --> 00:56:04 south unfortunately have a lot of less
00:56:05 --> 00:56:07 protections and
00:56:07 --> 00:56:10 um, yeah, insurance resources than than
00:56:10 --> 00:56:12 people, you know, maybe say on the East
00:56:12 --> 00:56:15 Coast. So yeah, kind of depends on where
00:56:15 --> 00:56:17 you live.
00:56:17 --> 00:56:19 That makes a difference. Okay. All
00:56:19 --> 00:56:22 right. Well, good luck to anyone that is
00:56:22 --> 00:56:24 looking for medical assistance or
00:56:24 --> 00:56:26 anything like that. Do you have any
00:56:26 --> 00:56:28 recommendation for any maybe
00:56:28 --> 00:56:30 organization that supports you know the
00:56:30 --> 00:56:34 trends in the Burton space or that any
00:56:34 --> 00:56:37 just any resource out there for anyone
00:56:37 --> 00:56:40 who is probably struggling? Um looking
00:56:40 --> 00:56:42 for any type of education, help
00:56:42 --> 00:56:44 anything. I would say like in terms of
00:56:44 --> 00:56:48 like health services, medical services.
00:56:48 --> 00:56:51 Um, I I've been going to Planned
00:56:51 --> 00:56:56 Parenthood for over 10 years. Um, and
00:56:56 --> 00:56:58 for me that's always been an affirming
00:56:58 --> 00:57:01 space where I can get my hormones, I can
00:57:01 --> 00:57:05 get, you know, STI, STD testing, um, any
00:57:05 --> 00:57:09 type of sexual service um, that I may
00:57:09 --> 00:57:11 need. like if I if I need an abortion, I
00:57:11 --> 00:57:13 can go to Planned Parenthood. And
00:57:13 --> 00:57:14 they're
00:57:14 --> 00:57:17 knowledgeable enough about trans people
00:57:17 --> 00:57:20 and LGBTQ folks that, you know, you
00:57:20 --> 00:57:22 don't have to deal with any weird
00:57:22 --> 00:57:26 questions or any type of awkward
00:57:26 --> 00:57:29 uncomfortable situation. Um, and they're
00:57:29 --> 00:57:31 all across the country. So I, you know,
00:57:32 --> 00:57:33 I think that, you know, Planned
00:57:33 --> 00:57:36 Parenthood is, you know, always just a
00:57:36 --> 00:57:38 good start, you know, until you can find
00:57:38 --> 00:57:42 your PCP. Um, you know, some some states
00:57:42 --> 00:57:45 have LGBTQ or queer clinics and
00:57:45 --> 00:57:48 hospitals and things like that. Um, but
00:57:48 --> 00:57:49 you know, until you can find that, I
00:57:49 --> 00:57:52 think that's always a good start.
00:57:52 --> 00:57:54 Yeah. Okay. Very good. Let's talk
00:57:54 --> 00:57:58 postpartum. Yes.
00:57:58 --> 00:58:01 What areas do you think like people
00:58:01 --> 00:58:03 heterosexual people like you know go
00:58:03 --> 00:58:07 through after giving birth? Um
00:58:07 --> 00:58:10 especially for trans men
00:58:10 --> 00:58:12 like um I think is there any also I'm
00:58:12 --> 00:58:14 sorry let me cut you off and also is
00:58:14 --> 00:58:16 there any resource that black mothers in
00:58:16 --> 00:58:19 power provide as far as education
00:58:19 --> 00:58:22 support for postpartum care and things
00:58:22 --> 00:58:24 like that? Yeah.
00:58:24 --> 00:58:28 Um, so I think that
00:58:28 --> 00:58:32 um postpartum care and support for for
00:58:32 --> 00:58:36 trans men um can
00:58:36 --> 00:58:39 look very interesting and different um
00:58:39 --> 00:58:41 depending on first of all depending on
00:58:41 --> 00:58:45 where if that guy has a job and where he
00:58:45 --> 00:58:47 works, you know, is he getting some type
00:58:47 --> 00:58:51 of leave? Um, sometimes he is, sometimes
00:58:51 --> 00:58:54 he's not because he's not being seen.
00:58:54 --> 00:58:55 Well, you know, some guys aren't even
00:58:56 --> 00:58:58 out on their jobs, you know. Um, I know
00:58:58 --> 00:59:00 a lot of guys who have gotten pregnant
00:59:00 --> 00:59:03 and they've just worn larger clothing to
00:59:03 --> 00:59:06 to hide it, you know, so the job didn't
00:59:06 --> 00:59:08 know that they were pregnant. Um, so
00:59:08 --> 00:59:10 they couldn't take, you know, maternity
00:59:10 --> 00:59:12 or paternity leave. Um, and things like
00:59:12 --> 00:59:15 that. Um, so I think, you know, it's
00:59:15 --> 00:59:19 it's is very individual depending on the
00:59:19 --> 00:59:22 person. Um, I think postpartum
00:59:22 --> 00:59:26 depression is is a thing. Um, that that
00:59:26 --> 00:59:30 hasn't actually been explored as much uh
00:59:30 --> 00:59:33 when it comes to to trans men. Um, but
00:59:33 --> 00:59:35 and you know, and that's when I be
00:59:35 --> 00:59:37 talking about the the intersectionality,
00:59:37 --> 00:59:38 you know, how we can say, "Oh, yeah, we
00:59:38 --> 00:59:40 we go through this too or we go through
00:59:40 --> 00:59:43 this as well. So let's come together and
00:59:43 --> 00:59:45 talk about our experiences and kind of
00:59:45 --> 00:59:47 share resources and build you know
00:59:47 --> 00:59:52 community in this way. So yeah so sorry.
00:59:52 --> 00:59:53 So you really think there are jobs who
00:59:53 --> 00:59:58 would deny someone of um uh maternity um
00:59:58 --> 01:00:01 yeah maternity care right? Yes.
01:00:01 --> 01:00:04 Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. if you if
01:00:04 --> 01:00:07 your um city does not have
01:00:07 --> 01:00:11 uh protections for LGBTQ people um and
01:00:11 --> 01:00:13 they're in this city ordinance when it
01:00:13 --> 01:00:15 comes to employment
01:00:15 --> 01:00:17 um and and public services, you'll
01:00:17 --> 01:00:20 definitely be discriminated against.
01:00:20 --> 01:00:22 I just want to say like, you know,
01:00:22 --> 01:00:25 whether you're in LGBTQ
01:00:25 --> 01:00:29 um arena, um at the end of the day,
01:00:29 --> 01:00:31 we're all human beings, though. Like,
01:00:31 --> 01:00:33 yeah. Can we just be kind? Can we just
01:00:33 --> 01:00:36 be nice? Can we just understand that we
01:00:36 --> 01:00:40 are all humans and we're not perfect?
01:00:40 --> 01:00:42 Like your sin, if you if you want to
01:00:42 --> 01:00:44 look at that as a sin, right? Cuz a lot
01:00:44 --> 01:00:45 of people that's what they digress to
01:00:45 --> 01:00:49 immediately. Your sin like is a sin. My
01:00:49 --> 01:00:52 sin is a sin. Like you, no one has the
01:00:52 --> 01:00:55 right, I don't believe at least to point
01:00:55 --> 01:00:57 finger at anybody because when you're
01:00:57 --> 01:00:59 pointing finger at somebody, you have
01:00:59 --> 01:01:01 this finger pointing right back at you.
01:01:01 --> 01:01:03 Absolutely right. So what makes us so
01:01:03 --> 01:01:08 perfect to be so hateful that we pick
01:01:08 --> 01:01:11 certain things because you are this
01:01:11 --> 01:01:13 person we're going to, you know, exclude
01:01:13 --> 01:01:15 you, seclude you, marginalize. You know
01:01:15 --> 01:01:17 what I'm saying? M um for me that's what
01:01:17 --> 01:01:20 I see. I just want love. We say we
01:01:20 --> 01:01:22 really love and especially like those
01:01:22 --> 01:01:24 people especially people who sometimes
01:01:24 --> 01:01:26 you know visit on Christianity and I'm a
01:01:26 --> 01:01:29 Christian trust me. Um
01:01:29 --> 01:01:33 and I'm not saying that you know the
01:01:33 --> 01:01:36 Bible say XYZ. When people when I have
01:01:36 --> 01:01:37 conversations like this with people who
01:01:37 --> 01:01:39 are Christians or anything like that the
01:01:39 --> 01:01:40 first thing they will say the Bible
01:01:40 --> 01:01:44 condemns this. M well sis or brother
01:01:44 --> 01:01:45 there's a lot of other things the Bible
01:01:46 --> 01:01:47 condemns too right there's so many
01:01:48 --> 01:01:49 things yeah and I'm saying this because
01:01:49 --> 01:01:51 this is me this is what I you know this
01:01:51 --> 01:01:53 is how I see things this is how I see
01:01:53 --> 01:01:58 life um let's not be so quick to judge
01:01:58 --> 01:02:00 at the end of the day when we all die
01:02:00 --> 01:02:02 we're going to go speak for ourselves
01:02:02 --> 01:02:04 not speaking for nobody at least that's
01:02:04 --> 01:02:08 what I my dad was a pastor y
01:02:08 --> 01:02:10 Christian
01:02:10 --> 01:02:11 I know the Bible So, let me tell you a
01:02:12 --> 01:02:15 little about me. My dad was a pastor. He
01:02:15 --> 01:02:17 was a high school principal and he was a
01:02:17 --> 01:02:20 custom officer. Um, talk about a
01:02:20 --> 01:02:23 disciplinarian. Yeah. So, I grew up in a
01:02:23 --> 01:02:24 home where you were not allowed to wear
01:02:24 --> 01:02:26 pants because pants were considered
01:02:26 --> 01:02:28 sinful. It's a men's clothing. You know
01:02:28 --> 01:02:31 what I'm saying? So, like I grew up in a
01:02:31 --> 01:02:34 very strict environment where also like
01:02:34 --> 01:02:36 my education, my dad was so strict with
01:02:36 --> 01:02:38 my education where I wanted to study.
01:02:38 --> 01:02:40 This is why some of the reasons why I
01:02:40 --> 01:02:41 feel sorry for a lot of like trans
01:02:41 --> 01:02:43 people when they when people like pick
01:02:43 --> 01:02:45 on them and stuff like that. I wanted to
01:02:45 --> 01:02:47 I wanted to study accounting, right? And
01:02:48 --> 01:02:51 I was really good with accounting and um
01:02:51 --> 01:02:54 but my dad was like, "Oh, heck no.
01:02:54 --> 01:02:57 [Laughter]
01:02:57 --> 01:02:59 My daughter, yeah, you need some more to
01:02:59 --> 01:03:01 study accounting when you can be a
01:03:01 --> 01:03:04 doctor. You can be this." And by the
01:03:04 --> 01:03:07 way, I'm Nigerian so you know Nigerian
01:03:07 --> 01:03:08 parents.
01:03:08 --> 01:03:10 Yeah, being a doctor is everything to
01:03:10 --> 01:03:12 them. Like if you're not a doctor or a
01:03:12 --> 01:03:14 lawyer or something, you ain't studying
01:03:14 --> 01:03:15 nothing.
01:03:15 --> 01:03:18 So it was like, you know, so when I had
01:03:18 --> 01:03:21 to when he he he pretty much he
01:03:21 --> 01:03:23 literally and he succeeded at the
01:03:23 --> 01:03:26 beginning in forcing me to study science
01:03:26 --> 01:03:28 courses because he believes that
01:03:28 --> 01:03:30 studying accountant was not the right
01:03:30 --> 01:03:33 thing, right? I was miserable. I was
01:03:33 --> 01:03:36 depressed. I was stressed. Mhm. But I
01:03:36 --> 01:03:38 went along because he gave me an
01:03:38 --> 01:03:41 ultimatum that if I didn't study the
01:03:41 --> 01:03:43 science, take science courses, he wasn't
01:03:43 --> 01:03:44 going to pay my school fees. So it was
01:03:44 --> 01:03:47 either do that or not. Yeah. So needless
01:03:47 --> 01:03:50 to say, I studied um from my 9th grade
01:03:50 --> 01:03:52 to 12th grade, I studied science
01:03:52 --> 01:03:57 courses. I did pass mistakenly. Yeah.
01:03:57 --> 01:03:59 I think I've got more S and giving me
01:03:59 --> 01:04:02 the paper. But after studying that, I
01:04:02 --> 01:04:04 went on to college and I started
01:04:04 --> 01:04:06 continued doing what he wanted because
01:04:06 --> 01:04:07 he used he literally because I left
01:04:07 --> 01:04:09 Nigeria and came to America. I went to
01:04:09 --> 01:04:10 school in North Carolina. He literally
01:04:10 --> 01:04:12 used to call me, "Hey, are you still
01:04:12 --> 01:04:14 studying science?" I'm like, "Yes, Dad."
01:04:14 --> 01:04:15 But needless to say, because that was
01:04:15 --> 01:04:16 not what I wanted to do. I was
01:04:16 --> 01:04:19 rebellious. I at that point I didn't
01:04:19 --> 01:04:21 care. I was just having fun in college
01:04:21 --> 01:04:24 making all FS care
01:04:24 --> 01:04:25 because he wasn't there to check me. He
01:04:25 --> 01:04:28 was Nigerian and I was in America. But
01:04:28 --> 01:04:32 it got to a point when I it was like a a
01:04:32 --> 01:04:34 dead end for me where I was like I got
01:04:34 --> 01:04:38 to make a decision for me, right? So I
01:04:38 --> 01:04:41 went back I decided to change schools
01:04:41 --> 01:04:43 and went to another college. I went
01:04:43 --> 01:04:45 graduated from a H.B.C.U. which is State
01:04:45 --> 01:04:48 University. Go Rams. Yes. Um, I
01:04:48 --> 01:04:50 graduated from there, graduated with
01:04:50 --> 01:04:53 Hannes, um, with, you know, a degree I
01:04:53 --> 01:04:56 wanted. And my dream growing up has
01:04:56 --> 01:04:59 always been to work at a bank. Okay. And
01:04:59 --> 01:05:01 to be honest with you, right after I
01:05:01 --> 01:05:03 graduated, I started working for a bank
01:05:03 --> 01:05:05 and I've been with a bank for almost
01:05:05 --> 01:05:07 going on 20 years now. That's awesome.
01:05:07 --> 01:05:09 So I'm just talking about the power of
01:05:09 --> 01:05:13 you know being convinced as one to do
01:05:13 --> 01:05:17 something and someone else tried to come
01:05:17 --> 01:05:21 and instill their belief on you. Right?
01:05:22 --> 01:05:24 Let's be mindful. That's all I'm asking.
01:05:24 --> 01:05:26 You know what I'm saying? Put yourself
01:05:26 --> 01:05:28 in their shoe. M like if you see your
01:05:28 --> 01:05:30 daughter struggling with you know either
01:05:30 --> 01:05:33 their sexuality or anything in life like
01:05:33 --> 01:05:37 at at some point is what is their
01:05:37 --> 01:05:40 decision detrimental? Yeah. How
01:05:40 --> 01:05:42 really somebody and you're hurting
01:05:42 --> 01:05:45 somebody. If that's not what it is then
01:05:45 --> 01:05:48 you know what I'm saying? Um I digress.
01:05:48 --> 01:05:50 So let's go back.
01:05:50 --> 01:05:54 So just to sum it up, I just want to
01:05:54 --> 01:05:58 remind our viewers
01:05:58 --> 01:06:02 that black women in America are three to
01:06:02 --> 01:06:06 four times more likely to die of uh
01:06:06 --> 01:06:09 birth related complication, right? Um
01:06:09 --> 01:06:11 and when we say three to four times more
01:06:11 --> 01:06:13 likely to die of birth complication
01:06:13 --> 01:06:16 complicated, um yeah, you get it. Mhm.
01:06:16 --> 01:06:19 Um when we put that three to four three
01:06:19 --> 01:06:22 to four times compared to our white
01:06:22 --> 01:06:24 counterparts, we're talking about a 7
01:06:24 --> 01:06:27 to800 in numbers of people. You know
01:06:27 --> 01:06:29 what I'm saying? Mhm. That's alarming.
01:06:29 --> 01:06:32 That's somebody's mom. That's somebody's
01:06:32 --> 01:06:34 neighbor. That's somebody's coworker.
01:06:34 --> 01:06:36 That's somebody's friend. That's
01:06:36 --> 01:06:39 somebody's everything that is dying.
01:06:39 --> 01:06:44 Right. So very important that we
01:06:44 --> 01:06:50 um just focus on um what's
01:06:50 --> 01:06:52 important
01:06:52 --> 01:06:54 reclaim
01:06:54 --> 01:06:58 our rights as human being. Mhm. You know
01:06:58 --> 01:06:59 we have the right to live right to give
01:06:59 --> 01:07:02 birth. Mhm. And
01:07:02 --> 01:07:06 um just look for a way a positive way
01:07:06 --> 01:07:08 forward. Yeah. to help one another
01:07:08 --> 01:07:11 instead of the hate, the anger, the
01:07:11 --> 01:07:14 agony, the just the the the just
01:07:14 --> 01:07:17 marginalizing ourselves, picking on
01:07:18 --> 01:07:19 ourselves like we're better because
01:07:20 --> 01:07:21 we're this, we're not better because
01:07:21 --> 01:07:23 we're you're not better than me because
01:07:23 --> 01:07:25 you were this and all that good stuff.
01:07:25 --> 01:07:28 Absolutely. So, let's all be mindful.
01:07:28 --> 01:07:31 Let's uh show love.
01:07:31 --> 01:07:34 Mindful once again, I repeat, of what we
01:07:34 --> 01:07:36 say to each
01:07:36 --> 01:07:40 other, of how we conclude on
01:07:41 --> 01:07:43 people, let's
01:07:43 --> 01:07:45 be
01:07:45 --> 01:07:47 open-minded
01:07:47 --> 01:07:49 to educate
01:07:49 --> 01:07:51 ourselves. And if you see somebody who
01:07:51 --> 01:07:53 you don't think is educated and needs
01:07:53 --> 01:07:55 education, help them out. Just like he
01:07:55 --> 01:07:58 goes to Harvard and Harvard, too. I keep
01:07:58 --> 01:08:00 repeating. Yeah, I told y'all my guest
01:08:00 --> 01:08:03 today on this earlier I had a doctor
01:08:03 --> 01:08:06 that I had somebody
01:08:06 --> 01:08:08 Yo. Anyway, yeah. So, just like he goes
01:08:08 --> 01:08:11 there and have a real life conversation
01:08:12 --> 01:08:14 cuz he's he's he's a lived experience,
01:08:14 --> 01:08:17 right? have this real life conversations
01:08:17 --> 01:08:21 with uh you know educators also people
01:08:21 --> 01:08:23 who are considered you know
01:08:23 --> 01:08:26 knowledgeable already you know and also
01:08:26 --> 01:08:29 that that that goes back to you're never
01:08:29 --> 01:08:31 too old to learn. No, right and you
01:08:31 --> 01:08:34 never know it all. Yes. Just like I was
01:08:34 --> 01:08:36 talking to I was talking to a doctor the
01:08:36 --> 01:08:41 other day and um by the way um May 25th
01:08:41 --> 01:08:45 is called Africa Day, right? Um, and I'm
01:08:45 --> 01:08:46 going to go into details about what
01:08:46 --> 01:08:49 Africa day is. You can just go to chat
01:08:49 --> 01:08:51 or Google Africa day. you'll get more
01:08:51 --> 01:08:53 information about it, but pretty much
01:08:53 --> 01:08:55 it's the liberation of, you know,
01:08:55 --> 01:08:58 Africans against col colonialism from
01:08:58 --> 01:09:00 back in the day or whatever. But it's
01:09:00 --> 01:09:05 it's called African um O AU um or a AU I
01:09:06 --> 01:09:07 don't remember the name exactly, but
01:09:07 --> 01:09:09 Africa Day pretty much is set aside to
01:09:09 --> 01:09:11 celebrate Africans coming together
01:09:11 --> 01:09:13 against colonialism and try to do things
01:09:13 --> 01:09:16 as one with a strong voice, strong power
01:09:16 --> 01:09:18 to move forward and things like that.
01:09:18 --> 01:09:20 So, I was talking to someone who is a
01:09:20 --> 01:09:23 doctor and an African, right? And I'm
01:09:23 --> 01:09:25 telling him I'm hosting an event, you
01:09:25 --> 01:09:27 know, for Africa Day and I'm inviting
01:09:27 --> 01:09:31 him to come and he was pretty much
01:09:31 --> 01:09:35 downplaying the event. Not only that,
01:09:35 --> 01:09:37 like telling me he didn't know what it
01:09:37 --> 01:09:40 was. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I expect him
01:09:40 --> 01:09:42 as a doctor, somebody who's
01:09:42 --> 01:09:44 knowledgeable with that, you know, ask
01:09:44 --> 01:09:46 me questions, you know, let me educate
01:09:46 --> 01:09:48 you a little bit. Yeah. take his African
01:09:48 --> 01:09:51 car.
01:09:51 --> 01:09:55 No, we don't for him. He's my brother.
01:09:55 --> 01:09:57 It's my brother. He's my brother. What
01:09:57 --> 01:10:01 the f?
01:10:01 --> 01:10:02 So, but anyway, that just goes back to
01:10:02 --> 01:10:04 education, right? That you you you don't
01:10:04 --> 01:10:06 know it all. Even though he's a doctor,
01:10:06 --> 01:10:08 he don't know it all. He still he still
01:10:08 --> 01:10:11 needs to be educated, right? He's my
01:10:11 --> 01:10:12 brother here. He's not a doctor, right?
01:10:12 --> 01:10:15 Right. But you're educating doctors
01:10:15 --> 01:10:18 because like you know beyond just
01:10:18 --> 01:10:20 reading a textbook
01:10:20 --> 01:10:24 um so yeah so just have an open mind.
01:10:24 --> 01:10:27 Yes. Happy proud. Love. Yeah. Yeah.
01:10:27 --> 01:10:30 Yeah. Yeah. So um I do appreciate
01:10:30 --> 01:10:33 everyone for listening. Thank you. Be
01:10:33 --> 01:10:38 sure to follow us on Facebook,
01:10:38 --> 01:10:41 Instagram. Once again, I would like to I
01:10:41 --> 01:10:42 would like to appreciate everyone for
01:10:42 --> 01:10:44 listening today. It's been a pleasure
01:10:44 --> 01:10:47 having you here, Christian
01:10:47 --> 01:10:50 um the birth seed, our heritage, our
01:10:50 --> 01:10:52 legacy podcast dedicated to addressing
01:10:52 --> 01:10:55 the pressing issues of black maternal
01:10:55 --> 01:10:57 health, exploring the stories, the
01:10:57 --> 01:10:58 challenges, and the triumphs of black
01:10:58 --> 01:11:01 mothers in Delaware and beyond. And like
01:11:01 --> 01:11:02 I said earlier on this podcast,
01:11:02 --> 01:11:05 typically we dive into our heritage, the
01:11:05 --> 01:11:07 systemic barriers we face, and the
01:11:07 --> 01:11:10 legacy we aim to leave behind. And I
01:11:10 --> 01:11:11 hope that through our conversation
01:11:11 --> 01:11:13 today, you are able to learn a thing or
01:11:13 --> 01:11:15 two that you can share with your
01:11:15 --> 01:11:18 friends, family, and loved ones. Thank
01:11:18 --> 01:11:20 you. Stay tuned for our next episode. We
01:11:20 --> 01:11:24 love you. Bye.
01:11:24 --> 01:11:26 Yay.
01:11:26 --> 01:11:30 All right. Thank you.