Birth Is a Human Right: Honoring Black LGBTQ+ Voices in Maternal Health

Birth Is a Human Right: Honoring Black LGBTQ+ Voices in Maternal Health

In honor of Pride Month, Episode 4 of The Birth Seat uplifts the lived experiences, needs, and resilience of Black LGBTQ+ birthing people. Centering queer and trans voices within the birth and postpartum space, we explore what it means to reclaim bodily autonomy, challenge cisnormative systems in healthcare, and build affirming, inclusive spaces for all who give birth.


In this episode, we discuss:

* The erasure of Queer and Trans parents in reproductive health conversations

* Why reproductive justice must include LGBTQ+ rights and gender-affirming care

* How providers, doulas, and birthworkers can create safer spaces for LGBTQ+ clients

* The legacy of Black Queer resistance in both parenting and community healing



Special Guests:

Christian Lovehall, Black Trans birthworker and community advocate

Dr. Keonna Watson, LGBTQ+ health educator and parent

Voices from the community reflecting on visibility, safety, and support during pregnancy and postpartum



Whether you identify as LGBTQ+ or you're an ally committed to equity, this episode invites all listeners to deepen their understanding of birth beyond binaries.

Kind: captions Language: en
00:00:00 --> 00:00:06 [Music]

00:00:06 --> 00:00:08 All right. Hello everyone. Welcome to

00:00:08 --> 00:00:10 the Bird Seed, our heritage, our legacy

00:00:10 --> 00:00:12 podcast dedicated to addressing the

00:00:12 --> 00:00:14 pressing issues of black maternal

00:00:14 --> 00:00:16 health, exploring the stories, the

00:00:16 --> 00:00:18 challenges, and the triumphs of black

00:00:18 --> 00:00:21 mothers in Delaware and beyond. On this

00:00:21 --> 00:00:23 podcast, we dive into our heritage, the

00:00:23 --> 00:00:25 systemic barriers we face, and the

00:00:25 --> 00:00:28 legacy we aim to leave behind. and we

00:00:28 --> 00:00:30 typically do so through heartfelt

00:00:30 --> 00:00:32 conversation right here on the bird

00:00:32 --> 00:00:34 seat. Joining me for a conversation

00:00:34 --> 00:00:37 today, I have

00:00:37 --> 00:00:40 your name Dr. Kiana Watson. Dr. Kiana

00:00:40 --> 00:00:43 Watson. Yeah. All right. Thank you. I'm

00:00:43 --> 00:00:46 Christian Love. Awesome. All right. So,

00:00:46 --> 00:00:48 we're going to get started. And before

00:00:48 --> 00:00:49 we do that, I just want to remind

00:00:50 --> 00:00:52 everybody that in honor of Pride Month,

00:00:52 --> 00:00:55 episode 4 of the Bird Seat uplifts the

00:00:56 --> 00:00:58 lived experiences, needs, and resilience

00:00:58 --> 00:01:02 of black LGBTQ plus Burton people,

00:01:02 --> 00:01:04 centering queer and trans voices within

00:01:04 --> 00:01:07 the birth and postpartum space. We

00:01:07 --> 00:01:08 explore what it means to reclaim our

00:01:08 --> 00:01:11 bodily autonomy

00:01:11 --> 00:01:14 challenge systems in the healthcare and

00:01:14 --> 00:01:17 building affirmative uh inclusive spaces

00:01:17 --> 00:01:21 for all who give birth. All right. At

00:01:21 --> 00:01:22 the birth state, we believe that birth

00:01:22 --> 00:01:25 is a human right for everybody, every

00:01:26 --> 00:01:29 identity and every family configuration.

00:01:29 --> 00:01:31 Do you guys agree with that? Absolutely.

00:01:31 --> 00:01:33 All right.

00:01:33 --> 00:01:35 And before we get into the conversation,

00:01:35 --> 00:01:37 how are you guys feeling today? I'm

00:01:38 --> 00:01:41 feeling good. Happy Pride Month. Happy

00:01:41 --> 00:01:44 Pride Month. That's right. All right. Um

00:01:44 --> 00:01:46 before I actually delve into like some

00:01:46 --> 00:01:47 of the topics that we're going to be

00:01:47 --> 00:01:50 talking about um I was just talking to a

00:01:50 --> 00:01:53 friend of mine before the podcast today

00:01:53 --> 00:01:57 that typically you if uh Pride month is

00:01:57 --> 00:01:59 coming up you hear it in the society

00:01:59 --> 00:02:01 social media community people talking

00:02:01 --> 00:02:04 about it you know in different shapes of

00:02:04 --> 00:02:07 form facets but this year has been

00:02:07 --> 00:02:09 significantly different like I feel like

00:02:10 --> 00:02:12 voices are silenced and people just not

00:02:12 --> 00:02:14 talking about it or even if they do,

00:02:14 --> 00:02:17 it's kind of like on a hush hush level.

00:02:17 --> 00:02:19 Could you elaborate on that if you think

00:02:19 --> 00:02:22 there's a reason behind it? Yeah, I I

00:02:22 --> 00:02:25 know firsthand that organizations have

00:02:25 --> 00:02:27 been getting threats. Um, organizations

00:02:27 --> 00:02:30 that typically celebrate pride loud and

00:02:30 --> 00:02:33 proud. Um, organizations have lost

00:02:33 --> 00:02:35 sponsorships. Um, there's definitely a

00:02:36 --> 00:02:38 political component to it. you know, um

00:02:38 --> 00:02:40 they're trying to take away rights and

00:02:40 --> 00:02:43 in in and in in essence taking away

00:02:43 --> 00:02:45 funding for a lot of it. Um Delaware,

00:02:45 --> 00:02:47 we're still having our um Pride event,

00:02:47 --> 00:02:50 but uh I know init there were some talks

00:02:50 --> 00:02:52 of cancelling lots of things because of

00:02:52 --> 00:02:54 the threats. Um but they are moving

00:02:54 --> 00:02:56 forward with some of it. But that's mo

00:02:56 --> 00:02:58 most of the reason why is the threats

00:02:58 --> 00:03:01 and also you know the political piece

00:03:01 --> 00:03:02 where folks just feel like they can come

00:03:02 --> 00:03:04 out and say whatever they want, do

00:03:04 --> 00:03:06 whatever they want. Um because we have

00:03:06 --> 00:03:08 folks that are higher up now that don't

00:03:08 --> 00:03:11 care about us, you know. So it's like

00:03:11 --> 00:03:13 folks are saying why why should we?

00:03:13 --> 00:03:15 Yeah. Okay. And Christian, did you have

00:03:15 --> 00:03:18 any input to that at all? Um no, I I

00:03:18 --> 00:03:22 definitely agree. Um I think that you

00:03:22 --> 00:03:25 know a lot of people are being strategic

00:03:25 --> 00:03:27 um when it comes to planning different

00:03:27 --> 00:03:29 pride events and things like that.

00:03:29 --> 00:03:32 um you know and I think that you know in

00:03:32 --> 00:03:36 Philly I know that it kind of has

00:03:36 --> 00:03:38 um

00:03:38 --> 00:03:42 ignited a you know

00:03:42 --> 00:03:45 a a new excitement about the movement.

00:03:45 --> 00:03:48 Okay. Um, so I think that this year it's

00:03:48 --> 00:03:52 going to be a lot more people um, you

00:03:52 --> 00:03:54 know, cuz people want to uplift their

00:03:54 --> 00:03:57 voices. They want to share their stories

00:03:57 --> 00:04:00 um, you know, and and embrace

00:04:00 --> 00:04:03 uh, you know, who they are out loud and

00:04:03 --> 00:04:06 proud. Okay. Um, we also, so Philly has

00:04:06 --> 00:04:11 this huge uh, LGBT pride flag. Uh, last

00:04:11 --> 00:04:13 year uh, it was flown by hundreds of

00:04:13 --> 00:04:16 people. It's really It's thousands of

00:04:16 --> 00:04:18 feet. So this year they're actually

00:04:18 --> 00:04:21 making it longer. Okay.

00:04:21 --> 00:04:23 So

00:04:23 --> 00:04:26 So yes, um Philly is going to be very

00:04:26 --> 00:04:29 very queer uh this month. Okay. Well,

00:04:29 --> 00:04:31 that's good to know. Um and we're going

00:04:31 --> 00:04:33 to get back to you later on. Talk more

00:04:33 --> 00:04:35 about some of the movements that you've

00:04:36 --> 00:04:38 uh you know participated in and some of

00:04:38 --> 00:04:40 the you know changes or influences that

00:04:40 --> 00:04:41 you've made in the society especially in

00:04:41 --> 00:04:44 Philadelphia. given some scenarios or

00:04:44 --> 00:04:46 situation. But before we delve into

00:04:46 --> 00:04:48 that, I just want you guys to really

00:04:48 --> 00:04:49 introduce yourself cuz I know I have

00:04:49 --> 00:04:53 like true prominent guest on this

00:04:53 --> 00:04:56 podcast today and I don't think our

00:04:56 --> 00:04:58 listeners know who you are. So, just

00:04:58 --> 00:05:00 tell us a little bit about yourself,

00:05:00 --> 00:05:02 what you do, what you stand for, uh, and

00:05:02 --> 00:05:06 your pronouns. Um, just Okay. And and

00:05:06 --> 00:05:08 just to just to make you guys aware, the

00:05:08 --> 00:05:11 goal for this podcast today for me and I

00:05:11 --> 00:05:15 hope for you as a listener is to learn

00:05:15 --> 00:05:18 and you know be open-minded and

00:05:18 --> 00:05:21 hopefully anything that is confusing

00:05:21 --> 00:05:23 that you've been hoping and wanting

00:05:23 --> 00:05:25 clarification on when it comes to the

00:05:25 --> 00:05:26 LGBTQ

00:05:26 --> 00:05:29 um space, you're able to get that

00:05:29 --> 00:05:31 confirmation. If for any reason you're

00:05:31 --> 00:05:33 not when you listen to this podcast

00:05:33 --> 00:05:36 something um comes comes to your mind

00:05:36 --> 00:05:38 and you need clarification on please

00:05:38 --> 00:05:42 leave a comment down below um this like

00:05:42 --> 00:05:45 especially him he's associated with

00:05:45 --> 00:05:48 black mothers in power. Yes. Um so he

00:05:48 --> 00:05:50 can answer some of your questions or

00:05:50 --> 00:05:51 concerns and if you need further

00:05:51 --> 00:05:53 clarification just reach out to us. But

00:05:53 --> 00:05:55 yeah I'll have you introduce yourself so

00:05:55 --> 00:05:56 they can know who you are and what you

00:05:56 --> 00:05:59 stand for. Absolutely. Um my name is Dr.

00:05:59 --> 00:06:02 Dr. Kiana Watson. Pronouns are she, her.

00:06:02 --> 00:06:05 Um, I am many things, so I'm going to

00:06:05 --> 00:06:07 try and wrap this up and not it can be

00:06:08 --> 00:06:09 very long and drawn out, especially

00:06:09 --> 00:06:11 because I'm an educator. Um, and a

00:06:12 --> 00:06:16 storyteller, all the things. Um, I am

00:06:16 --> 00:06:19 a prevention specialist. Um, I have a

00:06:19 --> 00:06:22 doctor in prevention and a masters in

00:06:22 --> 00:06:24 family science. So I practice uh my

00:06:24 --> 00:06:27 practices are geared towards the family

00:06:27 --> 00:06:31 system and um I work with families in

00:06:31 --> 00:06:33 multiple aspects. I am a mental health

00:06:33 --> 00:06:35 provider um in a holistic health

00:06:35 --> 00:06:37 practitioner. So a lot of my practice is

00:06:37 --> 00:06:40 guided by natural wellness. Um I am also

00:06:40 --> 00:06:43 an adjunct professor. So I teach general

00:06:43 --> 00:06:46 psychology and sociology.

00:06:46 --> 00:06:50 Uh I'm an actor and um I am also an

00:06:50 --> 00:06:53 author and by way and in honor of my

00:06:54 --> 00:06:57 ancestors, my lineage and the most high

00:06:57 --> 00:07:01 um I also am a warrior and a healer.

00:07:01 --> 00:07:07 Awesome.

00:07:07 --> 00:07:10 Love it. Thank you. Yes. Yes. All right.

00:07:10 --> 00:07:14 Um so I am Christian Love. I am many

00:07:14 --> 00:07:16 things as well. So, I'm trying to, you

00:07:16 --> 00:07:19 know, wrap this up, but um I am an

00:07:19 --> 00:07:22 advocate. Uh been so since the age of

00:07:22 --> 00:07:25 seven. Um standing on the front lines

00:07:25 --> 00:07:28 for many marginalized communities, um

00:07:28 --> 00:07:31 including LGBTQQ+,

00:07:31 --> 00:07:36 um trans um women, sex workers, um and

00:07:36 --> 00:07:40 many others. I am a self-published

00:07:40 --> 00:07:43 author. Um also a doula. I go by the

00:07:43 --> 00:07:45 name of Brother Doula.

00:07:45 --> 00:07:49 and I am an entrepreneur.

00:07:49 --> 00:07:53 Awesome. Brother Dilla, brother, I love

00:07:53 --> 00:07:55 it. Now, brother Dilla, is that your

00:07:55 --> 00:07:58 like your way of identifying yourself in

00:07:58 --> 00:08:01 that space? Yes. Okay, very good. So,

00:08:01 --> 00:08:03 and I needed that clarification also

00:08:03 --> 00:08:05 simply because I know that you know

00:08:05 --> 00:08:08 duelas, female duelas are called doulas

00:08:08 --> 00:08:10 and then male are called dulo. And then

00:08:10 --> 00:08:12 I wanted to I had asked him earlier and

00:08:12 --> 00:08:15 I wanted to ask him again wanted to know

00:08:15 --> 00:08:17 if you know people who cater to the

00:08:17 --> 00:08:20 LGBTQ specifically um had a special

00:08:20 --> 00:08:23 name. So there not a special name. No.

00:08:23 --> 00:08:26 All right. It should ch you chose that.

00:08:26 --> 00:08:28 Yes. We

00:08:28 --> 00:08:31 powerful. I love it. Yes. All right. So

00:08:31 --> 00:08:34 um why do you think it's important for

00:08:34 --> 00:08:38 us to talk about LGBTQ?

00:08:38 --> 00:08:40 Um why why do you think it's important

00:08:40 --> 00:08:43 in general like

00:08:43 --> 00:08:46 so statistically uh all right let me

00:08:46 --> 00:08:49 start with a personal experience so I am

00:08:49 --> 00:08:52 um I identify as lesbian um I am married

00:08:52 --> 00:08:54 I have a wife um I also have a a son

00:08:54 --> 00:08:59 he's an adult um my adult child um

00:08:59 --> 00:09:01 raised him came out when he was one

00:09:01 --> 00:09:04 raised him um and all of all the things

00:09:04 --> 00:09:08 that I am um and he is very much He is

00:09:08 --> 00:09:10 um heterosexual cisgender male who is

00:09:10 --> 00:09:13 very open and welcoming and affirming

00:09:13 --> 00:09:16 and accepting of all people, right? Um

00:09:16 --> 00:09:18 and I think that it's important to talk

00:09:18 --> 00:09:23 about LGBTQ plus um from my personal

00:09:23 --> 00:09:25 experience, I knew as early as seven,

00:09:25 --> 00:09:29 right, that I was attracted to um at

00:09:29 --> 00:09:31 that time girls, right? were I'm an

00:09:31 --> 00:09:33 adult now, so I'll say women, but at

00:09:33 --> 00:09:35 that age, young girls and who were my

00:09:36 --> 00:09:38 age. Um, and I didn't understand what

00:09:38 --> 00:09:41 that meant. Um, my grandparents raised

00:09:41 --> 00:09:42 me. They were married for 55 years,

00:09:42 --> 00:09:45 right? They were mom and dad and that's

00:09:45 --> 00:09:48 all I knew. I was raised in a church and

00:09:48 --> 00:09:50 and questioned every day, you know, and

00:09:50 --> 00:09:53 said, "What was wrong with me?" Um, I

00:09:53 --> 00:09:54 had thoughts that I should be dead,

00:09:54 --> 00:09:59 right? Because why? and um got to

00:09:59 --> 00:10:02 college and really found learned what

00:10:02 --> 00:10:05 LGBTQ plus was. I didn't know before

00:10:05 --> 00:10:08 college, right before 18 and 19. And at

00:10:08 --> 00:10:11 that point of learning and and walking

00:10:11 --> 00:10:16 and becoming who I am as a who I was and

00:10:16 --> 00:10:18 who I am now as a woman, um I

00:10:18 --> 00:10:21 flourished. I remember experiencing what

00:10:21 --> 00:10:23 I didn't know then but now I know as a

00:10:23 --> 00:10:26 therapist u symptoms of depression you

00:10:26 --> 00:10:27 know suicidal

00:10:27 --> 00:10:30 ideiation literally not knowing what

00:10:30 --> 00:10:32 those things were because we didn't talk

00:10:32 --> 00:10:34 about it and got to college and learn

00:10:34 --> 00:10:35 all so I think it's important to talk

00:10:35 --> 00:10:37 about it and educate folks so that they

00:10:38 --> 00:10:42 understand that um we are who we are uh

00:10:42 --> 00:10:45 we're going to you whether it's hidden

00:10:45 --> 00:10:47 from us or not talked about we find

00:10:47 --> 00:10:49 ourselves

00:10:49 --> 00:10:51 Um and and it's it can be as easy as

00:10:51 --> 00:10:54 finding ourselves as early on as being

00:10:54 --> 00:10:57 educated at a very young age so that we

00:10:57 --> 00:10:59 can miss the suicidal thoughts or the

00:10:59 --> 00:11:02 suicidal attempts. Um statistically we

00:11:02 --> 00:11:04 turn you know where there's not

00:11:04 --> 00:11:05 education or acceptance and there's

00:11:06 --> 00:11:08 rejection. Um you know there are higher

00:11:08 --> 00:11:10 rates of drug use and and and uh

00:11:10 --> 00:11:13 intimate partner violence. Um and so

00:11:13 --> 00:11:16 statistically in being marginalized we

00:11:16 --> 00:11:20 miss uh so many opportunities to live a

00:11:20 --> 00:11:24 healthy and well life where there is no

00:11:24 --> 00:11:26 education and that's why it's important

00:11:26 --> 00:11:29 to talk about it right and also if there

00:11:29 --> 00:11:31 are folks in your family who identify to

00:11:31 --> 00:11:33 also help your children to understand

00:11:33 --> 00:11:35 who they are um so that they can grow up

00:11:35 --> 00:11:37 like my son and be open and welcoming

00:11:37 --> 00:11:40 and just like it's okay you know I can

00:11:40 --> 00:11:42 he can literally be in a space with

00:11:42 --> 00:11:44 anybody body and it and it doesn't you

00:11:44 --> 00:11:46 know it's joy doesn't matter you know I

00:11:46 --> 00:11:48 love it that you made that comment about

00:11:48 --> 00:11:51 your son being heterosexual because I've

00:11:51 --> 00:11:53 had heated conversation it's always

00:11:53 --> 00:11:56 heated every time we have stuff

00:11:56 --> 00:11:58 heated conversation about you know

00:11:58 --> 00:12:01 people believing that um when you have

00:12:01 --> 00:12:04 when you're uh when you when you're gay

00:12:04 --> 00:12:06 and your partner is the same sex as you

00:12:06 --> 00:12:09 and you have a child that it's almost

00:12:10 --> 00:12:12 inevitable that that child will be gay

00:12:12 --> 00:12:14 because that's what they were taught

00:12:14 --> 00:12:15 growing up. Isn't that something? But

00:12:15 --> 00:12:17 it's crazy like look at look at the look

00:12:17 --> 00:12:19 at your story like live stories and this

00:12:19 --> 00:12:21 is live experiences that we're talking

00:12:21 --> 00:12:23 about like don't be so close-minded,

00:12:23 --> 00:12:26 right? Be open-minded. I counteract I

00:12:26 --> 00:12:28 always counteract that because you're

00:12:28 --> 00:12:29 right. That's what people come at you

00:12:29 --> 00:12:32 with. And I always say, well, my parents

00:12:32 --> 00:12:34 were man and woman and I'm a lesbian,

00:12:34 --> 00:12:36 right? And I am loud and proud of my

00:12:36 --> 00:12:40 right. I saw that, right? But I still

00:12:40 --> 00:12:42 came out to be who I am. And it's the

00:12:42 --> 00:12:45 same, right? Your child is going to be

00:12:45 --> 00:12:47 who they are, right? You can raise a

00:12:47 --> 00:12:50 heterosexual, uh you know um

00:12:50 --> 00:12:52 that uh gender non-conforming. They're

00:12:52 --> 00:12:54 going to be who who they are by way of

00:12:54 --> 00:12:59 themselves. And I um one thing I Oh,

00:12:59 --> 00:13:02 sorry. Okay. I think my crystal said I'm

00:13:02 --> 00:13:04 I'm tired. Oh, that's okay. It's pretty

00:13:04 --> 00:13:06 though. Love it. Thank you. Um but I

00:13:06 --> 00:13:08 think like um one thing I also want

00:13:08 --> 00:13:11 people to well for me what I understand

00:13:11 --> 00:13:14 when it comes to you know the LGBTQ I

00:13:14 --> 00:13:17 feel I I feel like or my understanding

00:13:17 --> 00:13:19 is that I don't think it's something

00:13:19 --> 00:13:22 somebody chooses right I have a

00:13:22 --> 00:13:24 conviction and not just a conviction but

00:13:24 --> 00:13:26 I think I don't think it's someone will

00:13:26 --> 00:13:29 just wake up and say they want to be gay

00:13:29 --> 00:13:32 right I think it's more than that I

00:13:32 --> 00:13:35 think it's biological absolutely and and

00:13:35 --> 00:13:36 the reason Why I say this is because a

00:13:36 --> 00:13:39 lot of like uh lesbians or gay people

00:13:39 --> 00:13:43 that I've met um they tell me how it was

00:13:43 --> 00:13:45 such a struggle when they were growing

00:13:45 --> 00:13:48 up you know just some people are like

00:13:48 --> 00:13:49 I'm going to pray it out of me so that

00:13:50 --> 00:13:52 my parents don't my family don't hate me

00:13:52 --> 00:13:54 I'm going to do like they just have all

00:13:54 --> 00:13:56 these thoughts in their head and then

00:13:56 --> 00:13:58 that would with that thought comes along

00:13:58 --> 00:14:00 you know the suicide you know because

00:14:00 --> 00:14:03 they're afraid like if it's something

00:14:03 --> 00:14:05 somebody can just learn or choose like

00:14:05 --> 00:14:06 and you know like society is going to

00:14:06 --> 00:14:08 come at you. It's not you're not just

00:14:08 --> 00:14:09 going to wake up and do it. At least

00:14:10 --> 00:14:12 that's what I'm and I'm just hoping that

00:14:12 --> 00:14:15 people will be open to truly trying to

00:14:15 --> 00:14:18 understand people who are you know you

00:14:18 --> 00:14:21 know who are um in the LGBTQ instead of

00:14:22 --> 00:14:24 judging and pointing fingers and things

00:14:24 --> 00:14:27 like that. Try to understand them. Try

00:14:27 --> 00:14:29 to ask question. Try to get on their

00:14:30 --> 00:14:31 level. Like you know I'm just sick. It's

00:14:31 --> 00:14:35 2025 y'all. sick and tired of just the

00:14:35 --> 00:14:38 ignor like ignorance like yeah and I

00:14:38 --> 00:14:41 think educ it's a lot of it has to do

00:14:41 --> 00:14:42 with education and speaking of education

00:14:42 --> 00:14:45 can you elaborate on the full definition

00:14:46 --> 00:14:49 of the LGBTQ and then from there we're

00:14:49 --> 00:14:50 going to talk about you know the cyst

00:14:50 --> 00:14:52 and the headto heterosexual the

00:14:52 --> 00:14:53 difference and all that stuff just

00:14:53 --> 00:14:56 elaborating definition yep absolutely so

00:14:56 --> 00:14:59 LGBTQ the L stands for lesbian um G

00:14:59 --> 00:15:02 stands for gay so and and if you do you

00:15:02 --> 00:15:06 want me to bring I'll keep going.

00:15:06 --> 00:15:10 I'll probably ask later.

00:15:10 --> 00:15:12 I'm so I'm telling you I'm an educator.

00:15:12 --> 00:15:15 I could take the long a um B stands for

00:15:15 --> 00:15:20 bisexual. Um T for trans uh transgender

00:15:20 --> 00:15:24 and Q is Q can be queer or questioned

00:15:24 --> 00:15:27 and queer in question, right? Um and

00:15:27 --> 00:15:29 then we have plus. So it I mean we say

00:15:29 --> 00:15:32 the LGBTQ IABC's because there's so many

00:15:32 --> 00:15:34 additional letters that follow where

00:15:34 --> 00:15:37 right we have I for interex um A for

00:15:37 --> 00:15:39 asexual P for pansexual right there's so

00:15:40 --> 00:15:43 many letters um um and identities but

00:15:43 --> 00:15:45 essentially when we say LG

00:15:45 --> 00:15:51 LGBTQ I A+ we are including all of the

00:15:51 --> 00:15:54 uh I call it the beautiful ball of black

00:15:54 --> 00:15:57 and brown and everything in between

00:15:57 --> 00:16:00 rainbow Yes. Okay. And is there a

00:16:00 --> 00:16:02 difference between cyst and

00:16:02 --> 00:16:04 heterosexual? And what what's the

00:16:04 --> 00:16:06 difference? So cisgend cisgender which

00:16:06 --> 00:16:10 is cisgender it just means that you

00:16:10 --> 00:16:15 identify as the um the sex your register

00:16:15 --> 00:16:17 and born as I'm sorry not your register

00:16:17 --> 00:16:19 your the sex that you were born as.

00:16:19 --> 00:16:21 Right. So I'm a cisgender woman. I was

00:16:21 --> 00:16:25 born a a female. I identify as female. I

00:16:25 --> 00:16:28 identify as woman. Uh, and then we have

00:16:28 --> 00:16:30 trans. And I'll I'll leave that to um

00:16:30 --> 00:16:31 Christian. Christian wants to get into

00:16:31 --> 00:16:33 that. I'm coming to you. I have a lot of

00:16:33 --> 00:16:35 questions for you. But when you're

00:16:35 --> 00:16:37 asking about cis versus hetero, what we

00:16:37 --> 00:16:41 like to say is there is um your your

00:16:41 --> 00:16:43 gender identity and your sexual

00:16:43 --> 00:16:44 orientation are two different things,

00:16:44 --> 00:16:47 right? So a cisgender woman can be

00:16:47 --> 00:16:50 heterosexual, a cisgender woman can be a

00:16:50 --> 00:16:51 lesbian, a cisgender woman can be

00:16:51 --> 00:16:54 bisexual, so on and so forth. Okay? The

00:16:54 --> 00:16:56 cis is is is

00:16:56 --> 00:17:00 um it is solely identifying your gender.

00:17:00 --> 00:17:03 Okay. Yeah. Not your sexual orientation.

00:17:03 --> 00:17:05 Gotcha. Does that make sense? Yeah, it

00:17:05 --> 00:17:07 does. It does. It does. And the reason

00:17:07 --> 00:17:09 why I asked is because that I was

00:17:09 --> 00:17:11 talking to you earlier about, you know,

00:17:11 --> 00:17:15 the Chimamanda Adichi, you know, um

00:17:15 --> 00:17:17 she's recently made a comment on social

00:17:17 --> 00:17:21 media about cis and heterosexual. And um

00:17:22 --> 00:17:23 prior to her making that comment, which

00:17:23 --> 00:17:27 she did um talk about later, that um she

00:17:27 --> 00:17:29 didn't she didn't even know the word

00:17:29 --> 00:17:31 cyst. She didn't even she's this is an

00:17:31 --> 00:17:33 educator. She's like a worldrenowned

00:17:33 --> 00:17:36 writer. Wow. So she didn't know. So when

00:17:36 --> 00:17:38 she but when she made that comment and

00:17:38 --> 00:17:40 everybody came at her like cuz she said

00:17:40 --> 00:17:41 trans men are trans women, trans women

00:17:41 --> 00:17:44 are trans women. Um they people wanted

00:17:44 --> 00:17:47 her to actually speak more on it and

00:17:47 --> 00:17:50 clarify what she was saying. Mhm. So, I

00:17:50 --> 00:17:51 myself wasn't too familiar with the word

00:17:52 --> 00:17:54 cyst. So, I went down the rabbit hole to

00:17:54 --> 00:17:56 do my research and try to understand and

00:17:56 --> 00:17:57 I was like, I have a podcast coming up.

00:17:57 --> 00:17:59 Maybe they can clarify it for me and

00:17:59 --> 00:18:00 maybe clarify for somebody else that

00:18:00 --> 00:18:02 doesn't understand. So, cuz I was like,

00:18:02 --> 00:18:04 what is what what was the big deal?

00:18:04 --> 00:18:07 Like, if you're cyst and you identify as

00:18:07 --> 00:18:10 such and somebody says heterosexual,

00:18:10 --> 00:18:13 like I think I don't know. I was trying

00:18:13 --> 00:18:14 to figure out why it was such a big

00:18:14 --> 00:18:16 deal. Like when she said cis to cyst, I

00:18:16 --> 00:18:20 mean trans and a cyst is a cyst. Like do

00:18:20 --> 00:18:22 you understand like why they would have

00:18:22 --> 00:18:25 come at her?

00:18:25 --> 00:18:28 I I don't know because I I

00:18:28 --> 00:18:31 would No, it's okay. I would need to see

00:18:31 --> 00:18:33 like what I would need to hear how she

00:18:33 --> 00:18:36 said it. Yep. And what the body language

00:18:36 --> 00:18:38 I'm I pay attention to all the things,

00:18:38 --> 00:18:40 right? Um I need to see how she said it,

00:18:40 --> 00:18:42 why she said it, what the context of the

00:18:42 --> 00:18:47 saying was. I I don't know. Um

00:18:47 --> 00:18:48 maybe Christian, is there do you have

00:18:48 --> 00:18:51 any Oh, no. I haven't I haven't heard

00:18:51 --> 00:18:54 about that. I would mean to see a clip

00:18:54 --> 00:18:56 and then That's right. Okay. No, no

00:18:56 --> 00:18:58 problem. Thank you so much for uh just

00:18:58 --> 00:19:00 saying that. But I, like I said, I went

00:19:00 --> 00:19:02 down the rabbit hole and I listened to

00:19:02 --> 00:19:07 another, I think, a

00:19:07 --> 00:19:10 transgend she should have maybe said

00:19:10 --> 00:19:14 like come to clarify the fact that a tr

00:19:14 --> 00:19:17 I think what they were coming at her was

00:19:17 --> 00:19:18 a

00:19:18 --> 00:19:23 trans should not be that the identity

00:19:23 --> 00:19:25 that they identify themselves with

00:19:25 --> 00:19:28 should not be taken away from them. M

00:19:28 --> 00:19:31 like if I'm a transale then I'm a male I

00:19:31 --> 00:19:33 say you know what I'm saying but the way

00:19:34 --> 00:19:35 she said it she's saying that you're a

00:19:35 --> 00:19:38 trans you so she was saying that they

00:19:38 --> 00:19:41 you should always say I'm a trans man or

00:19:41 --> 00:19:42 I'm a trans woman versus I'm a man or a

00:19:42 --> 00:19:45 woman. Yeah. What you are Yeah. Yeah.

00:19:45 --> 00:19:46 What you are like that's how people

00:19:46 --> 00:19:48 don't Yeah. You had different people on

00:19:48 --> 00:19:50 the internet like just breaking down

00:19:50 --> 00:19:52 what she said and all that stuff. But

00:19:52 --> 00:19:53 for me I just wanted to understand what

00:19:53 --> 00:19:56 the big but anyway I digress.

00:19:56 --> 00:19:58 I digress. So, let's go into the birth

00:19:58 --> 00:20:01 space, right? So, you're the uh brother

00:20:01 --> 00:20:04 doula. Yes. And um I know you've written

00:20:04 --> 00:20:07 a book. Mhm. Um and uh if you just want

00:20:07 --> 00:20:09 to tell us a little bit about I've read

00:20:09 --> 00:20:11 the book, a really good book. And when I

00:20:11 --> 00:20:13 read the book and I you my feedback to

00:20:13 --> 00:20:16 you was that I love how affirmative it

00:20:16 --> 00:20:19 was. Right. So, cuz I think the message

00:20:19 --> 00:20:23 there could be read by anybody and I

00:20:23 --> 00:20:25 don't think you need you need to be in

00:20:25 --> 00:20:29 the LGBTQ space or heteros. I just think

00:20:29 --> 00:20:31 it's just it's for everybody. Yeah.

00:20:31 --> 00:20:33 Right. But and then we're going to talk

00:20:33 --> 00:20:36 about the silencing of, you know,

00:20:36 --> 00:20:38 people's voices when it comes to writing

00:20:38 --> 00:20:40 books and how certain books are are

00:20:40 --> 00:20:43 condemned and and things like that. But

00:20:43 --> 00:20:45 just tell us a little bit like why did

00:20:45 --> 00:20:47 you write the book? like how did that

00:20:47 --> 00:20:48 come about and tell us the name of the

00:20:48 --> 00:20:50 book too if you want to start with that.

00:20:50 --> 00:20:54 Yes. Um so I wrote a children's book

00:20:54 --> 00:20:58 called My Name is Troy. Um and it came

00:20:58 --> 00:21:00 about I would say several years ago on

00:21:00 --> 00:21:05 social media. I remember seeing um a lot

00:21:05 --> 00:21:08 of trans youth coming out and being

00:21:08 --> 00:21:12 loved and accepted by their parents. Um

00:21:12 --> 00:21:16 and so one particular um case I saw a

00:21:16 --> 00:21:19 young black trans boy um his mother, his

00:21:19 --> 00:21:21 black mother and it was just like you

00:21:22 --> 00:21:26 know it was very in um just a very

00:21:26 --> 00:21:30 affirming thing to see. Um, you know,

00:21:30 --> 00:21:33 one of the things that, you know, we in

00:21:33 --> 00:21:34 the black community, we would talk about

00:21:34 --> 00:21:36 like this is something that white kids,

00:21:36 --> 00:21:40 you know, experience. Um, but not so

00:21:40 --> 00:21:43 much in the black community. Um, so when

00:21:43 --> 00:21:46 I saw that and heard their story, it was

00:21:46 --> 00:21:49 very powerful to me. Um, and it caused

00:21:49 --> 00:21:51 me to reflect on my childhood and my

00:21:51 --> 00:21:53 transition and my life. Um, and

00:21:53 --> 00:21:56 unfortunately I didn't have the support

00:21:56 --> 00:21:58 um that I saw this young black trans boy

00:21:58 --> 00:22:03 um receive from his parents. Um, but it

00:22:03 --> 00:22:05 was just kind of me reimagining

00:22:05 --> 00:22:07 um what would it look like for me as a

00:22:07 --> 00:22:10 child to to be supported and affirmed

00:22:10 --> 00:22:13 and loved by my family. Um, and you

00:22:13 --> 00:22:15 know, and it also made me reflect about,

00:22:15 --> 00:22:19 you know, what what tools and resources

00:22:19 --> 00:22:22 are out there for young black trans boys

00:22:22 --> 00:22:24 or just young black trans youth in

00:22:24 --> 00:22:27 general. Um, a lot of the books that I

00:22:27 --> 00:22:29 saw, I saw a lot of queer and trans

00:22:29 --> 00:22:31 books. Um, but the characters were

00:22:31 --> 00:22:34 white. Um, so I wanted to create

00:22:34 --> 00:22:36 something specifically

00:22:36 --> 00:22:39 uh for young black trans boys, young

00:22:39 --> 00:22:41 black trans youth. um something that

00:22:41 --> 00:22:44 they could read and and see

00:22:44 --> 00:22:46 representation,

00:22:46 --> 00:22:49 you know, um and just, you know, be seen

00:22:49 --> 00:22:51 and know that, you know, their stories

00:22:51 --> 00:22:54 are out there and just kind of put

00:22:54 --> 00:22:55 something together that they can relate

00:22:55 --> 00:22:59 to um and be encouraged by.

00:22:59 --> 00:23:01 Very good. All right. So, if you don't

00:23:02 --> 00:23:04 mind, I'm going to read two pages from

00:23:04 --> 00:23:07 the book. So, I ordered this book hoping

00:23:07 --> 00:23:10 I would get it in the mail prior to

00:23:10 --> 00:23:14 keeping this podcast, y'all.

00:23:14 --> 00:23:18 But even if I paid for the expedited, it

00:23:18 --> 00:23:20 was still wasn't going to get here. So,

00:23:20 --> 00:23:21 I So, I messaged him. I was like, "Yo, I

00:23:22 --> 00:23:23 need to read this book. I need to see

00:23:23 --> 00:23:27 what's up." So, he emailed me the u

00:23:27 --> 00:23:29 digital copy. So, I was really happy to

00:23:29 --> 00:23:32 see that. Um, and I read it and I just

00:23:32 --> 00:23:34 wanted to like remember I said one thing

00:23:34 --> 00:23:35 I like about the book was how

00:23:35 --> 00:23:38 affirmative it sounded. Like just so

00:23:38 --> 00:23:41 reassuring, so reforming. It's okay to

00:23:41 --> 00:23:43 be you. You know what I'm saying? Like

00:23:43 --> 00:23:46 we were talking earlier like when people

00:23:46 --> 00:23:48 when kids are growing up trying to

00:23:48 --> 00:23:51 identify with the right gender, they're

00:23:51 --> 00:23:53 they struggle, they fight with

00:23:53 --> 00:23:55 themselves like you know what I'm

00:23:55 --> 00:23:57 saying? I'm this is what I like but this

00:23:57 --> 00:24:00 is not what society want me to like or

00:24:00 --> 00:24:02 this is not what they they claim I'm or

00:24:02 --> 00:24:04 what I'm supposed to like they question

00:24:04 --> 00:24:07 themselves so much I think that's the

00:24:07 --> 00:24:10 genesis right and this book talks I

00:24:10 --> 00:24:11 don't know what page this is cuz this is

00:24:11 --> 00:24:13 not the digital copy is not by the

00:24:13 --> 00:24:14 number I would have told you guys what

00:24:14 --> 00:24:17 page it was but it says it's okay that I

00:24:17 --> 00:24:19 like the color blue I like to play in

00:24:19 --> 00:24:22 the rain and hop like a

00:24:22 --> 00:24:24 kangaroo it's okay that I like to play

00:24:24 --> 00:24:26 sports I don't like skirts, but I love

00:24:26 --> 00:24:30 my red striped shorts. Right. It just

00:24:30 --> 00:24:32 talks

00:24:32 --> 00:24:37 about it's okay to be you. Mhm. If you

00:24:37 --> 00:24:40 like blue, it's okay to be blue. I don't

00:24:40 --> 00:24:42 think it's fair that I would say I like

00:24:42 --> 00:24:43 blue. And somebody comes up to me and

00:24:43 --> 00:24:46 say, "No, you should like orange."

00:24:46 --> 00:24:49 You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Mhm. So

00:24:49 --> 00:24:52 for those for for when you think about

00:24:52 --> 00:24:55 when you think about being sanctimonial

00:24:55 --> 00:24:57 um when you view other

00:24:57 --> 00:25:01 people, I just want you to question

00:25:01 --> 00:25:02 yourself

00:25:02 --> 00:25:07 also that if I'm look if if if I like

00:25:07 --> 00:25:10 something and somebody comes from the

00:25:10 --> 00:25:13 outside and wants me to like the other

00:25:13 --> 00:25:16 thing, how will that make you feel? Mhm.

00:25:16 --> 00:25:20 Mhm. Words are powerful.

00:25:20 --> 00:25:23 Words can be used to make one happy.

00:25:23 --> 00:25:26 Words can be used to make one sad.

00:25:26 --> 00:25:29 Sometimes the word you have to use or

00:25:29 --> 00:25:31 need to use on someone might be

00:25:31 --> 00:25:34 necessarily considered the truth. But

00:25:34 --> 00:25:38 even in that case, be mindful. And also

00:25:38 --> 00:25:41 be sure to always provide additional

00:25:41 --> 00:25:45 context in what you're saying. That way

00:25:45 --> 00:25:48 you would, you know, be at a space where

00:25:48 --> 00:25:52 your word is not coming as a bullet or

00:25:52 --> 00:25:56 triggering cuz again words are powerful.

00:25:56 --> 00:25:58 Words can be dangerous. The same way

00:25:58 --> 00:26:01 words can be reaffirming and show love

00:26:01 --> 00:26:03 and do all that good stuff. Absolutely.

00:26:03 --> 00:26:07 All right. Yes. That is the

00:26:07 --> 00:26:10 You've had several movements, right? Um

00:26:10 --> 00:26:12 tell us a little bit

00:26:12 --> 00:26:16 uh why I know you're going to talk um

00:26:16 --> 00:26:19 why you um decided to form the

00:26:19 --> 00:26:21 organization you have where you trans

00:26:21 --> 00:26:23 march trans thank you sorry I was

00:26:23 --> 00:26:25 thinking about that uh the trans march

00:26:25 --> 00:26:27 tell us a little bit about that why you

00:26:27 --> 00:26:30 got into it the success rate and how

00:26:30 --> 00:26:33 it's been helpful to the society or the

00:26:33 --> 00:26:37 community uh yes so um as I said

00:26:37 --> 00:26:39 previously I've always been an advocate

00:26:39 --> 00:26:43 kid. Um I just think it's it was part of

00:26:43 --> 00:26:47 growing up in Philly. You know Philly,

00:26:47 --> 00:26:49 you know anything about Philly? Philly,

00:26:49 --> 00:26:51 city of

00:26:51 --> 00:26:54 um you know Philly is the city of many

00:26:54 --> 00:26:56 movements. It was the first capital of

00:26:56 --> 00:26:59 the US. Um and so just having that

00:27:00 --> 00:27:01 backdrop,

00:27:01 --> 00:27:05 um I was born literally 12 days before

00:27:05 --> 00:27:07 the move bombing. Um if anybody knows

00:27:07 --> 00:27:11 about that. So, um I just think that

00:27:11 --> 00:27:12 being an advocate and being a warrior

00:27:12 --> 00:27:15 for my people has just always been, um

00:27:15 --> 00:27:20 ingrained in me since birth. Um and so,

00:27:20 --> 00:27:22 uh throughout the years, I would always

00:27:22 --> 00:27:24 attend many different rallies and

00:27:24 --> 00:27:28 demonstrations, um in support of many

00:27:28 --> 00:27:31 marginalized communities, um people with

00:27:31 --> 00:27:35 disabilities, undocumented folks, um

00:27:35 --> 00:27:38 LGBT folks. Um, in Philly we had a we

00:27:38 --> 00:27:40 had a dyke march that occurred every

00:27:40 --> 00:27:43 year that I would attend. Um, you know,

00:27:43 --> 00:27:45 and it was just just part of me, you

00:27:45 --> 00:27:48 know, being a brother, you know, um, in

00:27:48 --> 00:27:51 my community. Um, so unfortunately in

00:27:52 --> 00:27:57 2020 2010, um, 2010, um, a black trans

00:27:57 --> 00:28:00 woman by the name of Stacy Blonnik uh,

00:28:00 --> 00:28:03 was murdered in South Philly. Um, and

00:28:03 --> 00:28:07 I'm from South Philly. Uh so it you know

00:28:07 --> 00:28:09 it affected me in many different

00:28:09 --> 00:28:10 different ways and many different

00:28:10 --> 00:28:13 reasons but I happened to attend her

00:28:13 --> 00:28:16 funeral um in support of a friend of

00:28:16 --> 00:28:19 mine at the time and it was my first

00:28:19 --> 00:28:23 trans funeral I attended and um it just

00:28:23 --> 00:28:26 caused me to feel many many mixed

00:28:26 --> 00:28:27 emotions.

00:28:28 --> 00:28:31 Um, but I know that when I left, I felt

00:28:31 --> 00:28:34 like something needed to be done, like

00:28:34 --> 00:28:37 we couldn't just stop at this funeral.

00:28:37 --> 00:28:39 Um, and there were many, like I said,

00:28:39 --> 00:28:40 there were many movements in the city,

00:28:40 --> 00:28:42 but I didn't see anything for trans

00:28:42 --> 00:28:45 people. Um, and so, you know, I said I

00:28:46 --> 00:28:49 wanted to create a trans march, um, to

00:28:49 --> 00:28:51 demand justice for Stacy Blanik and her

00:28:51 --> 00:28:55 family. Um, and to also kind of create a

00:28:55 --> 00:28:57 platform where black and brown trans

00:28:57 --> 00:29:00 people can, you know, share their

00:29:01 --> 00:29:04 experiences, make demands from the city,

00:29:04 --> 00:29:06 um, you know, and just use their voices

00:29:06 --> 00:29:09 to advocate for themselves. So, uh, I

00:29:09 --> 00:29:12 was able to gather a committee the first

00:29:12 --> 00:29:15 year to help, um, organize it. Um, we

00:29:16 --> 00:29:18 had it in Love Park. Uh I it was

00:29:18 --> 00:29:20 symbolic for me to have it, you know, in

00:29:20 --> 00:29:23 Love Park to kind of um you know, center

00:29:23 --> 00:29:27 that theme of love. And we had about 350

00:29:27 --> 00:29:29 people the first year, which was

00:29:29 --> 00:29:33 awesome. Yeah. Um and it just kept

00:29:33 --> 00:29:36 growing from there. Uh the last march I

00:29:36 --> 00:29:37 organized was in

00:29:37 --> 00:29:41 2019. Um it still occurs today. I don't

00:29:41 --> 00:29:43 know what's going on with it now. um you

00:29:44 --> 00:29:46 started something started something, you

00:29:46 --> 00:29:49 know, but um I definitely um you know

00:29:49 --> 00:29:51 was honored and I felt like I was in the

00:29:51 --> 00:29:53 right place at the right time to be able

00:29:53 --> 00:29:55 to to birth that movement. Yeah. It's a

00:29:55 --> 00:29:56 legacy, you know what I'm saying? That

00:29:56 --> 00:29:58 you'll be remembered by and you also be

00:29:58 --> 00:30:00 proud of to look at to say I saw

00:30:00 --> 00:30:01 something and I did something. You know

00:30:02 --> 00:30:03 what I'm saying? You don't just see

00:30:03 --> 00:30:04 something and do nothing. Just like when

00:30:04 --> 00:30:05 you go to the airport, they say, "What

00:30:05 --> 00:30:08 is that saying at the airport?"

00:30:08 --> 00:30:11 Say something, right?

00:30:11 --> 00:30:13 Yeah. So you see you if you're moved by

00:30:13 --> 00:30:16 what the the the different you know

00:30:16 --> 00:30:18 aspects of life or things that you know

00:30:18 --> 00:30:20 that you want to see change it's

00:30:20 --> 00:30:22 important that you get up speak up do

00:30:22 --> 00:30:24 something about it so I commend you for

00:30:24 --> 00:30:27 doing that. Thank you. Um and then after

00:30:27 --> 00:30:28 that

00:30:28 --> 00:30:31 um how did you get into the doula the

00:30:31 --> 00:30:35 birth space to become that tell us a

00:30:35 --> 00:30:37 little bit about that and you know I

00:30:37 --> 00:30:38 loved your story because you said you

00:30:38 --> 00:30:40 actually didn't pay for the class

00:30:40 --> 00:30:43 yourself you had you had like yeah so

00:30:43 --> 00:30:46 tell us give us a tea hopefully

00:30:46 --> 00:30:48 hopefully somebody might get lucky out

00:30:48 --> 00:30:50 there or maybe do some research through

00:30:50 --> 00:30:53 you believe believe that there there

00:30:53 --> 00:30:55 organizations there or there people out

00:30:55 --> 00:30:58 there who, you know what I'm saying? No,

00:30:58 --> 00:31:00 are concerned about this and want to

00:31:00 --> 00:31:02 help to do something about it. So, just

00:31:02 --> 00:31:04 tell us a little bit more about that.

00:31:04 --> 00:31:06 Yeah. Um, so, um, there was a friend of

00:31:06 --> 00:31:09 mine who,

00:31:09 --> 00:31:12 uh, got pregnant. He was a trans man, a

00:31:12 --> 00:31:17 black trans man, and um he just uh kind

00:31:17 --> 00:31:21 of went um on his own campaign and

00:31:21 --> 00:31:24 shared his experiences uh in the

00:31:24 --> 00:31:28 hospital as a birthing black transman.

00:31:28 --> 00:31:30 And the things that I heard to me were

00:31:30 --> 00:31:34 horrifying. Um, you know, people,

00:31:34 --> 00:31:38 nurses, doctors walking by his room.

00:31:38 --> 00:31:43 Um, making jokes, whispering, um, some

00:31:43 --> 00:31:46 nurses not barely wanting to touch him.

00:31:46 --> 00:31:49 Um, you know, and just not taking him

00:31:49 --> 00:31:53 seriously, you know, not responding, um,

00:31:53 --> 00:31:56 you know, to to his expressions of pain

00:31:56 --> 00:31:59 and things like that. Um, so, you know,

00:31:59 --> 00:32:03 that was very disheartening to hear. Um,

00:32:03 --> 00:32:05 I already knew about what black sis

00:32:05 --> 00:32:10 women u were going through. Um, and so

00:32:10 --> 00:32:12 to hear his

00:32:12 --> 00:32:14 experience. Um, in my head I'm just

00:32:14 --> 00:32:17 like, well, you know, what what is

00:32:17 --> 00:32:19 preventing black trans men from going

00:32:19 --> 00:32:21 through the same thing that that black

00:32:21 --> 00:32:23 sis men are going through? Um, cis women

00:32:23 --> 00:32:25 are going through. And so, you know, I

00:32:25 --> 00:32:27 just wanted to do something. I wanted to

00:32:27 --> 00:32:30 kind of get ahead of the thing. Um, and

00:32:30 --> 00:32:32 so I

00:32:32 --> 00:32:36 I saw this program, uh, Doula Trainings

00:32:36 --> 00:32:39 International. Um, and they were

00:32:39 --> 00:32:41 offering a trans scholarship for doulas.

00:32:42 --> 00:32:44 And for me, like that was the ticket and

00:32:44 --> 00:32:47 like this is how I can help. This is how

00:32:47 --> 00:32:51 I can advocate and educate. Um, so you

00:32:51 --> 00:32:53 know, I'm very thankful for the

00:32:54 --> 00:32:56 scholarship that was that was given. Um,

00:32:56 --> 00:32:59 they were based in Brooklyn. So, um, you

00:32:59 --> 00:33:01 know, I just had to go to Brooklyn. Oh,

00:33:01 --> 00:33:04 wow. Okay. And, um, the training drive.

00:33:04 --> 00:33:10 Yeah. It was a bus trip, Chinese bus.

00:33:10 --> 00:33:14 Yeah. You train that bus from here. They

00:33:14 --> 00:33:16 take the bus from here to New York for

00:33:16 --> 00:33:17 like a dollar.

00:33:17 --> 00:33:22 Yeah. So, I don't think

00:33:22 --> 00:33:24 but yeah, I just hopped on the bus. Um,

00:33:24 --> 00:33:26 you know, and it was a great experience.

00:33:26 --> 00:33:31 I was the only man uh trans or cis in in

00:33:31 --> 00:33:34 the class. Um, I was lucky. I felt kind

00:33:34 --> 00:33:36 of lucky. How did that feel? I was going

00:33:36 --> 00:33:38 to ask like how did that feel? Yes. You

00:33:38 --> 00:33:40 know, I love I love women, you know,

00:33:40 --> 00:33:43 especially black women. So just to be

00:33:43 --> 00:33:45 surrounded, you know, by bunch of

00:33:45 --> 00:33:47 beautiful black women, I had no

00:33:47 --> 00:33:49 complaints. That's right. No complaints.

00:33:49 --> 00:33:52 No complaints at all. Um but yeah, the

00:33:52 --> 00:33:56 class was very um gender affirming. Um

00:33:56 --> 00:33:58 you know, the language that they use, it

00:33:58 --> 00:34:01 wasn't solely centered around mothers.

00:34:02 --> 00:34:04 Um, you know, so I just felt like the

00:34:04 --> 00:34:07 educators and the training trainers were

00:34:07 --> 00:34:10 very um knowledgeable of of trans

00:34:10 --> 00:34:12 experiences and made the training all

00:34:12 --> 00:34:15 inclusive. I love it. Very good. Very

00:34:15 --> 00:34:18 good. Excellent. That's excellent. So,

00:34:18 --> 00:34:22 um,

00:34:22 --> 00:34:24 all right. Well, it's been a pleasure

00:34:24 --> 00:34:27 having you. Thank you.

00:34:27 --> 00:34:30 Thanks for all your education.

00:34:30 --> 00:34:32 Um, yeah. and we'll be talking again in

00:34:32 --> 00:34:35 the future topics too. I love the fact

00:34:35 --> 00:34:37 that you know you're you're in the

00:34:37 --> 00:34:40 psychology space because I think you

00:34:40 --> 00:34:43 know the study of human study of mind is

00:34:43 --> 00:34:45 so important and you also did sociology

00:34:45 --> 00:34:47 right? Yes. So psychology sociology like

00:34:47 --> 00:34:49 they intertwine. So once you do that

00:34:49 --> 00:34:52 it's so easy to be able to understand

00:34:52 --> 00:34:54 why people do the things they do. Yes.

00:34:54 --> 00:34:56 but also internally and also and then

00:34:56 --> 00:34:58 social how

00:34:58 --> 00:35:01 social background can affect someone's

00:35:01 --> 00:35:03 behavior and character. So, you have a

00:35:03 --> 00:35:05 lot on on your plate to share with us.

00:35:05 --> 00:35:06 So, we'll be welcoming you again. Thank

00:35:06 --> 00:35:08 you so much for having us on the Thank

00:35:08 --> 00:35:10 you for having me. Thank you. Peace

00:35:10 --> 00:35:12 y'all.

00:35:12 --> 00:35:15 So, um speaking of, you know, you just

00:35:15 --> 00:35:17 being a dueler and just getting that

00:35:17 --> 00:35:18 training.

00:35:18 --> 00:35:21 Um do you feel like we need

00:35:21 --> 00:35:23 more

00:35:23 --> 00:35:27 transgen who in that space and why?

00:35:27 --> 00:35:31 Absolutely. Absolutely. Um just because

00:35:31 --> 00:35:33 the advocacy is needed. Um there's

00:35:33 --> 00:35:35 education that's needed and there's

00:35:35 --> 00:35:38 advocacy that's needed. Um you'd be

00:35:38 --> 00:35:41 amazed what medical students are

00:35:41 --> 00:35:43 actually learning in medical school when

00:35:43 --> 00:35:46 it comes to trans people. um our bodies,

00:35:46 --> 00:35:49 our experiences and things like that. Um

00:35:49 --> 00:35:51 I've actually have trained medical

00:35:51 --> 00:35:55 students at Yale and Harvard um on the

00:35:55 --> 00:35:56 very thing um because they're not

00:35:56 --> 00:35:58 they're not learning it in medical

00:35:58 --> 00:36:01 school. Um so I definitely think doulas

00:36:02 --> 00:36:06 are needed to provide services to LGBTQ

00:36:06 --> 00:36:10 plus people across the board. Um

00:36:10 --> 00:36:13 especially though trans trans men uh and

00:36:13 --> 00:36:17 black trans men. Um I think that you

00:36:17 --> 00:36:21 know doulas we are advocates. We are

00:36:21 --> 00:36:25 people on the front line um fighting uh

00:36:26 --> 00:36:28 for people in their most vulnerable

00:36:28 --> 00:36:29 moment.

00:36:29 --> 00:36:33 And you know when we talk about black

00:36:33 --> 00:36:36 advocates and black doulas um I think

00:36:36 --> 00:36:40 it's important to advocate for us

00:36:40 --> 00:36:42 collectively. You know I don't think it

00:36:42 --> 00:36:45 is necessarily

00:36:45 --> 00:36:48 um helpful to to the movement to the

00:36:48 --> 00:36:50 reproductive justice movement to kind of

00:36:50 --> 00:36:53 be selective about you know what black

00:36:53 --> 00:36:55 people you want to support what black

00:36:55 --> 00:36:57 people you want to you know stand in

00:36:57 --> 00:37:00 solidarity with. Um especially when we

00:37:00 --> 00:37:03 all have one oppressor in common, you

00:37:03 --> 00:37:07 know. Um our oppressors do not care if

00:37:07 --> 00:37:08 we're trans. They don't care if we're

00:37:08 --> 00:37:11 gay or straight. Um what they're focused

00:37:11 --> 00:37:14 on is is our blackness, you know. Um, so

00:37:14 --> 00:37:18 I think, you know, realizing

00:37:18 --> 00:37:20 intersectionality,

00:37:20 --> 00:37:22 um, the the similarities in our

00:37:22 --> 00:37:24 experiences, you know, acknowledging the

00:37:24 --> 00:37:27 differences in our experiences,

00:37:27 --> 00:37:30 um, is is important, but, you know,

00:37:30 --> 00:37:32 coming together and realizing that we're

00:37:32 --> 00:37:35 all being oppressed um, by the same

00:37:35 --> 00:37:37 people, by the same systems.

00:37:37 --> 00:37:40 And you know there's power in in

00:37:40 --> 00:37:45 numbers. You know people power is a real

00:37:45 --> 00:37:47 thing. Um I don't think it's anything

00:37:47 --> 00:37:49 wrong with having a specialty as a

00:37:49 --> 00:37:52 doula. Um I think you know that's that's

00:37:52 --> 00:37:55 perfectly fine. But I do think um being

00:37:55 --> 00:37:59 educated um and being knowledgeable um

00:37:59 --> 00:38:01 about the fact that number one we exist.

00:38:01 --> 00:38:04 Um yes we can take that exist. Yeah. I

00:38:04 --> 00:38:06 love that you said that. that you we

00:38:06 --> 00:38:08 exist that you guys exist, right? Or we

00:38:08 --> 00:38:12 all exist or whatever. Like just don't

00:38:12 --> 00:38:14 shut that don't shut it down. Like you

00:38:14 --> 00:38:16 can't shut it down. Like you you can try

00:38:16 --> 00:38:20 to but it is what it is, right? So I

00:38:20 --> 00:38:21 think the bottom line that's why at the

00:38:21 --> 00:38:23 beginning of the podcast we were talking

00:38:23 --> 00:38:25 about education, right? So the bottom

00:38:25 --> 00:38:29 line is know Yeah. know it. Yep.

00:38:29 --> 00:38:32 Understand it. Mhm. Right. Anyway, I'm

00:38:32 --> 00:38:35 sorry. I digress. I No. Apologies. Yeah.

00:38:35 --> 00:38:40 exist to say that. Um, and you

00:38:40 --> 00:38:43 know, there are trans people having

00:38:43 --> 00:38:44 babies. There are trans people, you

00:38:44 --> 00:38:47 know, wanting to raise families and

00:38:47 --> 00:38:49 create those families. And, you know, in

00:38:49 --> 00:38:52 2025, it's happening. You know, it's

00:38:52 --> 00:38:55 it's, you know, um, I know that we're in

00:38:55 --> 00:39:00 tense political times. um you know, but

00:39:00 --> 00:39:02 you know, this community, we've we've

00:39:02 --> 00:39:04 always thrived and we've always pushed

00:39:04 --> 00:39:06 forward and so that's what we're going

00:39:06 --> 00:39:08 to continue to do. So, I you know, like

00:39:08 --> 00:39:10 I said, I think it's important for for

00:39:10 --> 00:39:12 all doulas to to at least have the

00:39:12 --> 00:39:14 education.

00:39:14 --> 00:39:16 And I want to hit on something you said

00:39:16 --> 00:39:20 about um just the existence, right? Um,

00:39:20 --> 00:39:22 what do you have to say to those parents

00:39:22 --> 00:39:25 who feel like, oh, I'm going to shield

00:39:25 --> 00:39:28 my child against, you know, this aspect

00:39:28 --> 00:39:30 of reality? Like, you know what I'm

00:39:30 --> 00:39:33 saying? It's like, I'm not going to like

00:39:33 --> 00:39:34 I'm going to protect myself and my

00:39:34 --> 00:39:37 daughter or my son against this, you

00:39:37 --> 00:39:42 know, LGBTQ books or just seeing it or

00:39:42 --> 00:39:43 you know what I'm saying? So it's like

00:39:43 --> 00:39:45 what do you say to those parents who

00:39:45 --> 00:39:48 think like just keeping it a secret from

00:39:48 --> 00:39:50 their growing child in the world that

00:39:50 --> 00:39:53 they will be exposed to again later it's

00:39:53 --> 00:39:55 just like alcohol like you know what I'm

00:39:55 --> 00:39:58 saying I mean I'm not I don't alcohol

00:39:58 --> 00:40:03 but it's it's there right um you get to

00:40:03 --> 00:40:05 a point where your child will become an

00:40:05 --> 00:40:08 adult and they can drink like do you

00:40:08 --> 00:40:10 want your child not to know or what

00:40:10 --> 00:40:13 alcohol is at all and just be 21 and

00:40:13 --> 00:40:16 then find out about alcohol and then

00:40:16 --> 00:40:18 maybe like when they delve into it like

00:40:18 --> 00:40:20 they're dev they get into it in a way

00:40:20 --> 00:40:22 that's uncontrollable because that's

00:40:22 --> 00:40:24 what will happen. But anyway, how do you

00:40:24 --> 00:40:27 think like what education or what piece

00:40:27 --> 00:40:29 of information or advice do you have for

00:40:29 --> 00:40:31 those parents who think just shielding

00:40:31 --> 00:40:33 their kids or protect thinking they're

00:40:33 --> 00:40:35 protecting their kids against this

00:40:35 --> 00:40:37 information that is so real? Um what

00:40:37 --> 00:40:39 what do you think you would do to them

00:40:39 --> 00:40:40 like or what do you have message you

00:40:40 --> 00:40:41 have for them?

00:40:41 --> 00:40:44 Well, I first want to say I think

00:40:45 --> 00:40:48 it's I think I don't blame any parent

00:40:48 --> 00:40:51 from wanting to shield a child from

00:40:51 --> 00:40:53 something that they believe is going to

00:40:53 --> 00:40:57 be harmful to that child. Um that that

00:40:58 --> 00:41:01 is what you should be doing, right? Um

00:41:01 --> 00:41:05 the the problem is is that is this

00:41:05 --> 00:41:07 knowledge truly harmful? you know, is

00:41:07 --> 00:41:11 learning about LGBTQ people harming the

00:41:12 --> 00:41:15 child, right? Um I don't think quote

00:41:15 --> 00:41:18 unquote shielding your child from um

00:41:18 --> 00:41:22 queer content or queer history um is

00:41:22 --> 00:41:24 going

00:41:24 --> 00:41:27 to keep them from being queer

00:41:27 --> 00:41:32 themselves. Um I didn't grow up reading

00:41:32 --> 00:41:34 queer books. I didn't grow up, you know,

00:41:34 --> 00:41:36 watching, you know, I didn't grow up

00:41:36 --> 00:41:38 watching RuPaul's Drag Race. I didn't,

00:41:38 --> 00:41:41 you know, I my family is Jamaican, you

00:41:41 --> 00:41:44 know, so if anybody knows anybody about,

00:41:44 --> 00:41:46 you know, Jamaican culture, you know,

00:41:46 --> 00:41:49 like, you know, queerness was

00:41:49 --> 00:41:51 definitely, you know, very far removed

00:41:51 --> 00:41:54 from my upbringing. Um but there will

00:41:54 --> 00:41:57 always come a time where your child

00:41:57 --> 00:42:00 becomes an individual

00:42:00 --> 00:42:03 you know and yes they can learn from you

00:42:03 --> 00:42:06 and you know you can kind of you know

00:42:06 --> 00:42:08 try to shape their morals and values and

00:42:08 --> 00:42:09 things like that but at the end of the

00:42:09 --> 00:42:12 day like you know me being an individual

00:42:12 --> 00:42:14 my own person that's that's the thing

00:42:14 --> 00:42:18 that I grew into. Um, so it doesn't

00:42:18 --> 00:42:20 matter like what books or what cartoons

00:42:20 --> 00:42:24 or what movies I read or watched, I was

00:42:24 --> 00:42:25 always going to become who I was going

00:42:25 --> 00:42:28 to become. Um, so I think that's

00:42:28 --> 00:42:31 important to remember. Um, and you know,

00:42:31 --> 00:42:33 you can only shield so much. You know,

00:42:34 --> 00:42:37 kids go to school, they have friends,

00:42:37 --> 00:42:38 you know, they're they're in sports and

00:42:38 --> 00:42:40 things like that. So they're not just

00:42:40 --> 00:42:43 being exposed to whatever um, you know,

00:42:43 --> 00:42:46 you teach at home. Gotcha. So I think

00:42:46 --> 00:42:48 it's I think it's important to

00:42:48 --> 00:42:51 to educate them in a in a responsible

00:42:51 --> 00:42:55 way. Um you know and and I also think it

00:42:55 --> 00:42:57 prevents bullying. You know what I mean?

00:42:57 --> 00:43:01 When you are taught very early on that

00:43:01 --> 00:43:03 differences are okay. You know that we

00:43:03 --> 00:43:05 can celebrate differences. We don't have

00:43:05 --> 00:43:08 to fear them um or criminalize or

00:43:08 --> 00:43:10 demonize them. Then you kind of like

00:43:10 --> 00:43:12 kind of get in front of that. You know

00:43:12 --> 00:43:15 you can prevent bullying. So when you

00:43:15 --> 00:43:17 know a child does come into contact with

00:43:17 --> 00:43:19 somebody who's different, whether it's a

00:43:19 --> 00:43:21 child who's queer or one who has

00:43:21 --> 00:43:23 disabilities or one who speaks a

00:43:23 --> 00:43:26 different language, um they have that

00:43:26 --> 00:43:29 accepting um behavior already ingrained

00:43:29 --> 00:43:32 in them. All right. Very good. Speaking

00:43:32 --> 00:43:34 of education, I think uh you also

00:43:34 --> 00:43:36 touched on something uh that I want to

00:43:36 --> 00:43:40 delve into. You said some that you

00:43:40 --> 00:43:44 educate Harvard and Howard.

00:43:44 --> 00:43:46 medical student. Like, can I just repeat

00:43:46 --> 00:43:48 that?

00:43:48 --> 00:43:50 Yes. Yeah. Like,

00:43:50 --> 00:43:54 um I mean, if I pay a Harvard tuition,

00:43:54 --> 00:43:57 like I'm expecting, like, you know what

00:43:57 --> 00:43:59 I'm saying to know it all? Like, maybe

00:43:59 --> 00:44:01 that's an ignorant statement to make. I

00:44:01 --> 00:44:02 stand

00:44:02 --> 00:44:05 corrected, but um if you know it's a

00:44:05 --> 00:44:06 prestigious school, but anyway, I

00:44:06 --> 00:44:11 digress. Um yeah. So about that, how

00:44:11 --> 00:44:14 come like how like why why do you think

00:44:14 --> 00:44:17 is it that they held that piece of

00:44:17 --> 00:44:19 information away from them? Like as it

00:44:19 --> 00:44:23 is not I mean cuz as as a medical

00:44:23 --> 00:44:26 student, a doctor like you're not

00:44:26 --> 00:44:28 supposed to be trained in just you're

00:44:28 --> 00:44:32 trained in the human,

00:44:32 --> 00:44:34 you know what I'm saying, anatomy or

00:44:34 --> 00:44:38 biology, right? Mhm. So I I I think it's

00:44:38 --> 00:44:39 it's my first time hearing it and I'm

00:44:40 --> 00:44:44 I'm I'm baffled like why that's a really

00:44:44 --> 00:44:46 serious piece of information like it's

00:44:46 --> 00:44:49 2025 like yes this is not a doctor that

00:44:49 --> 00:44:51 should not be ignorant about this fact

00:44:51 --> 00:44:52 and we're going to get into it again

00:44:52 --> 00:44:54 when we talk about get into more into

00:44:54 --> 00:44:55 this when we talk about you know the

00:44:55 --> 00:44:58 burden space and what they know when you

00:44:58 --> 00:45:00 know they're confronted with transgender

00:45:00 --> 00:45:02 men or women that are getting ready to

00:45:02 --> 00:45:04 have babies and stuff like that. So, but

00:45:04 --> 00:45:06 just provide more context to my

00:45:06 --> 00:45:09 question. Yeah. Um, I feel like the

00:45:09 --> 00:45:12 training came from, you know, a lot of

00:45:12 --> 00:45:14 trans people um, entering medical

00:45:14 --> 00:45:17 spaces, whether it's clinics or

00:45:17 --> 00:45:19 hospitals and things like that and just

00:45:19 --> 00:45:22 having these awful experiences um, and

00:45:22 --> 00:45:24 you know, making reports,

00:45:24 --> 00:45:27 um, complaining, you know, um, kind of

00:45:27 --> 00:45:30 bringing down um, ratings for hospitals

00:45:30 --> 00:45:32 and things like that. Nobody wants that.

00:45:32 --> 00:45:35 You're messing with our money. You hit

00:45:35 --> 00:45:36 their pocket. That's when you get them

00:45:36 --> 00:45:39 to stay in your pocket. That's what

00:45:39 --> 00:45:41 that's where you get them to listen to

00:45:41 --> 00:45:42 you. All right. Right. So there, you

00:45:42 --> 00:45:44 know, there are colleges and

00:45:44 --> 00:45:46 universities who try to take a

00:45:46 --> 00:45:49 preventative approach. That's right. Um

00:45:49 --> 00:45:52 and I think the the the most important

00:45:52 --> 00:45:54 thing is that they want to hear from

00:45:54 --> 00:45:56 trans people themselves. Correct. Um, so

00:45:56 --> 00:45:59 they bring us into the room, um, to

00:45:59 --> 00:46:01 educate and to train and, you know, to

00:46:01 --> 00:46:02 talk about the experiences and things

00:46:02 --> 00:46:05 like that. Um, you know, as opposed to

00:46:05 --> 00:46:08 somebody who is cisgender, not a part of

00:46:08 --> 00:46:10 the community, kind of just reading from

00:46:10 --> 00:46:13 a book, not really connecting with the

00:46:13 --> 00:46:15 information that they're teaching. Um,

00:46:15 --> 00:46:17 so often times, you know, it's it's kind

00:46:17 --> 00:46:19 of better when we are brought into the

00:46:19 --> 00:46:21 classrooms. Makes sense. Makes sense.

00:46:21 --> 00:46:23 Very practical. Yeah. And do you feel

00:46:23 --> 00:46:24 like sometimes some of our test books or

00:46:24 --> 00:46:26 the test books that this medical student

00:46:26 --> 00:46:28 read is deduced where it's like they

00:46:28 --> 00:46:32 take out certain p certain information

00:46:32 --> 00:46:36 intentionally just not, you know, giving

00:46:36 --> 00:46:38 them giving them the full spectrum of

00:46:38 --> 00:46:39 what they need to know because they're

00:46:39 --> 00:46:41 trying to protect certain information

00:46:42 --> 00:46:44 and protecting that certain information

00:46:44 --> 00:46:46 like I I feel like it's political,

00:46:46 --> 00:46:49 right? a lot of things, a lot of things

00:46:49 --> 00:46:52 that we find out recently. It's very

00:46:52 --> 00:46:53 political, you know. We're not going to

00:46:53 --> 00:46:54 delve into that's not what we're here

00:46:54 --> 00:47:00 for today. Um, but yeah, so I I I really

00:47:00 --> 00:47:02 do appreciate you um just, you know,

00:47:02 --> 00:47:05 standing up in different aspects, right?

00:47:05 --> 00:47:07 You do the rally, do the education and

00:47:07 --> 00:47:09 all that. So, tell us a little bit about

00:47:09 --> 00:47:12 your experience being a brother douler.

00:47:12 --> 00:47:14 like um I know when I spoke to you, you

00:47:14 --> 00:47:16 said you've

00:47:16 --> 00:47:21 um had like 20 births. Yes. How how is

00:47:21 --> 00:47:24 that? Just tell us like how do they like

00:47:24 --> 00:47:27 how do you get your clients and do they

00:47:27 --> 00:47:29 reach out to you? Like what's so special

00:47:29 --> 00:47:32 about coming to you? Mhm. Um so yes,

00:47:32 --> 00:47:35 when I when I first uh got my

00:47:35 --> 00:47:36 certification,

00:47:36 --> 00:47:42 I just ran with it. Um, and you know, I

00:47:42 --> 00:47:44 was meeting a need. So, I feel like

00:47:44 --> 00:47:46 that's why so many people, that's why I

00:47:46 --> 00:47:47 had so many births at first. So many

00:47:47 --> 00:47:50 people reached out to me. Um, because

00:47:50 --> 00:47:52 you know, trans and queer couples were

00:47:52 --> 00:47:55 looking for that type of support. Um,

00:47:55 --> 00:47:56 you know, and I just did a really good

00:47:56 --> 00:47:59 job promoting myself.

00:47:59 --> 00:48:02 They found me. It's great, y'all.

00:48:02 --> 00:48:04 Just saying. You told y'all the numbers.

00:48:04 --> 00:48:06 I earlier you said there's power in the

00:48:06 --> 00:48:10 numbers, right? All right. Yes. Um, but

00:48:10 --> 00:48:15 yeah, like I I am a fearless advocate.

00:48:15 --> 00:48:19 Um, so, you know, I don't I don't stray

00:48:19 --> 00:48:21 from threats or, you know, I don't get

00:48:21 --> 00:48:24 intimidated easily. So, I just think it

00:48:24 --> 00:48:26 was just the perfect role for me to be

00:48:26 --> 00:48:28 in. Um, a lot of times in the hospitals,

00:48:28 --> 00:48:30 I did have to I did have to buck up a

00:48:30 --> 00:48:32 little bit, you know, with the nurses

00:48:32 --> 00:48:34 and the doctors. Um, because, you know,

00:48:34 --> 00:48:36 they weren't being affirming. They

00:48:36 --> 00:48:38 weren't, you know, being as gentle as

00:48:38 --> 00:48:39 they should have. They weren't being as

00:48:39 --> 00:48:41 attentive as they should have. They

00:48:41 --> 00:48:43 weren't

00:48:43 --> 00:48:46 um, you

00:48:46 --> 00:48:49 know, allowing people to

00:48:49 --> 00:48:51 to put their preferences out there in

00:48:51 --> 00:48:53 terms of what they wanted their birth

00:48:53 --> 00:48:55 experience to be like. So, I had to be

00:48:55 --> 00:48:59 that that loud, you know,

00:48:59 --> 00:49:03 sometimes hard voice. Um, but you know,

00:49:03 --> 00:49:06 all for for the greater good, you know,

00:49:06 --> 00:49:08 all for the the health and wellness of

00:49:08 --> 00:49:12 the birthing parent and the baby. Um, so

00:49:12 --> 00:49:14 you know, I've it's been amazing working

00:49:14 --> 00:49:17 with so many people, the families I've

00:49:17 --> 00:49:20 worked with. Um, I would say as of late,

00:49:20 --> 00:49:22 I've taken more of an educational

00:49:22 --> 00:49:24 approach to my doula, which is good. Um,

00:49:24 --> 00:49:26 yeah, and that's, you know, that's the

00:49:26 --> 00:49:28 beauty of doula work. Like you can do so

00:49:28 --> 00:49:31 many things. you can make products, you

00:49:31 --> 00:49:34 can, you know, educate um or you can

00:49:34 --> 00:49:35 support people, you know, in their

00:49:35 --> 00:49:40 birthing um journeys. So, I've I've

00:49:40 --> 00:49:42 loved it so far. Awesome. Awesome. So,

00:49:42 --> 00:49:45 what does a typical birth plan looks

00:49:45 --> 00:49:50 like for uh a transgendale?

00:49:50 --> 00:49:53 Yeah. So, I mean, it it it is definitely

00:49:53 --> 00:49:58 individual. M so um it it depends you

00:49:58 --> 00:50:01 know what a person wants in your visions

00:50:01 --> 00:50:04 but you know you can decide how many

00:50:04 --> 00:50:06 people you want in the room who you want

00:50:06 --> 00:50:10 in the room um how do you want your your

00:50:10 --> 00:50:14 anatomy you know to be referred you know

00:50:14 --> 00:50:17 um do you want

00:50:17 --> 00:50:20 you know um

00:50:20 --> 00:50:23 instincts inserted into you do you know

00:50:23 --> 00:50:25 like gotcha okay you So, so these are

00:50:25 --> 00:50:28 the things that sometimes you also like

00:50:28 --> 00:50:30 educate people who may be going through

00:50:30 --> 00:50:32 that journey for the very first time

00:50:32 --> 00:50:34 like give them the expectation and all

00:50:34 --> 00:50:35 that. And then you know also like what

00:50:36 --> 00:50:37 what do you want to be called? Do you

00:50:37 --> 00:50:39 want to be called father? Are you the

00:50:39 --> 00:50:41 parent? You know do you have another

00:50:41 --> 00:50:44 name you want to be you know known as?

00:50:44 --> 00:50:46 So you know just just respecting you

00:50:46 --> 00:50:49 know a person's preferences. And the

00:50:49 --> 00:50:52 point of all of that is when you have a

00:50:52 --> 00:50:56 stressfree birth. Yes. You know, then

00:50:56 --> 00:50:58 you can thrive, your baby can thrive and

00:50:58 --> 00:51:01 that is the point of it all. Okay. All

00:51:02 --> 00:51:04 right. Very good. Very good. So, um I

00:51:04 --> 00:51:06 had another question and my question is

00:51:06 --> 00:51:09 around I don't know I don't know how

00:51:09 --> 00:51:12 we're going to answer this but so I

00:51:12 --> 00:51:16 found out that in Sweden Mhm. when a

00:51:16 --> 00:51:19 transgen um gives birth, trans male or

00:51:19 --> 00:51:22 something, right? Um on the birth

00:51:22 --> 00:51:27 certificate, they can um identify as I

00:51:27 --> 00:51:29 think mom or dad, whichever. Okay. But

00:51:29 --> 00:51:31 like in the UK and I believe in the

00:51:32 --> 00:51:33 United States, I didn't see about I

00:51:33 --> 00:51:34 didn't get the information, but I know

00:51:34 --> 00:51:37 UK it's you have a mom is a mom, a dad

00:51:37 --> 00:51:40 is a dad, but Sweden like they allow you

00:51:40 --> 00:51:43 that uh freedom to. Is that something

00:51:44 --> 00:51:45 like have you had clients who were

00:51:45 --> 00:51:47 concerned about that? Because I asked

00:51:48 --> 00:51:50 this question because of how

00:51:50 --> 00:51:53 um I've also been exposed to how

00:51:53 --> 00:51:55 important it is to use the right

00:51:55 --> 00:51:58 pronouns when talking like it's it's

00:51:58 --> 00:52:01 it's a thing like really it's like for

00:52:02 --> 00:52:04 example some and it and I say it's a

00:52:04 --> 00:52:07 thing because for me initially I I

00:52:07 --> 00:52:08 didn't think it was a thing. I didn't

00:52:08 --> 00:52:10 think it was a big deal. Mhm. Um but the

00:52:10 --> 00:52:14 way I've come to understand it is

00:52:14 --> 00:52:17 um it's like for example I have a friend

00:52:18 --> 00:52:21 whose name is Sarah. Mhm. It's spelled S

00:52:21 --> 00:52:25 A R A. Okay. However, if you make the

00:52:25 --> 00:52:29 mistake of spelling her name S A R A and

00:52:29 --> 00:52:33 put a H,

00:52:33 --> 00:52:36 she will be sure to correct you. Right.

00:52:36 --> 00:52:37 Yeah. And then I also had a manager

00:52:37 --> 00:52:40 whose name is uh what's her name again?

00:52:40 --> 00:52:45 Um Allison. Okay. And she goes by Ally

00:52:45 --> 00:52:46 to the extent even on the corporate

00:52:46 --> 00:52:49 directory she changed it to but there

00:52:49 --> 00:52:50 are certain documents where she can

00:52:50 --> 00:52:53 change it. So if you make a mistake and

00:52:53 --> 00:52:57 call her Allison is a problem, you know.

00:52:57 --> 00:53:01 So, so I had to get myself to confirm my

00:53:01 --> 00:53:03 mindset to understand that this is kind

00:53:03 --> 00:53:05 of where they're coming from when they

00:53:05 --> 00:53:08 say I want you to address me as the

00:53:08 --> 00:53:11 gender that I identify with. Absolutely.

00:53:11 --> 00:53:12 So, that's why I asked that question.

00:53:12 --> 00:53:14 So, if you can just elaborate on that a

00:53:14 --> 00:53:16 little bit like you know how important

00:53:16 --> 00:53:20 it is. Yeah. Um, yeah. So that so in

00:53:20 --> 00:53:22 terms of how a parent identifies on a

00:53:22 --> 00:53:25 birth certificate that is depending on

00:53:25 --> 00:53:27 your your state and your laws. Okay. Um

00:53:27 --> 00:53:30 I've seen some states, you know, they

00:53:30 --> 00:53:34 can identify um as a gender and role

00:53:34 --> 00:53:37 that aligns with their transition. Okay.

00:53:37 --> 00:53:39 Um other times it's the opposite. So you

00:53:39 --> 00:53:42 might have a trans man and the trans man

00:53:42 --> 00:53:45 might be listed as mother, okay, on the

00:53:45 --> 00:53:49 birth certificate. um which is you know

00:53:49 --> 00:53:51 at the time you have the spend of joy so

00:53:51 --> 00:53:52 you're not

00:53:52 --> 00:53:55 really focus on that but I'm sorry I

00:53:55 --> 00:53:57 didn't mean to cut you off I apologize.

00:53:57 --> 00:53:59 You're good.

00:53:59 --> 00:54:01 Do you from the top of your head know

00:54:01 --> 00:54:05 what states allow that or not? Yeah. No.

00:54:05 --> 00:54:07 Okay. Because this this this podcast I

00:54:07 --> 00:54:09 not a podcast but this guy I watched on

00:54:10 --> 00:54:14 YouTube he was he literally made plans

00:54:14 --> 00:54:18 to go have his baby in Sweden simply

00:54:18 --> 00:54:20 only for that particular reason. So I'm

00:54:20 --> 00:54:22 asking that here if we have states that

00:54:22 --> 00:54:24 you know what I'm saying I don't know I

00:54:24 --> 00:54:27 do know that I don't know

00:54:27 --> 00:54:30 again I'm being educated here and I hope

00:54:30 --> 00:54:32 you're getting some education too. No,

00:54:32 --> 00:54:34 there are definitely other places around

00:54:34 --> 00:54:36 the world who have better health care

00:54:36 --> 00:54:38 when it comes to trans people. Um, even

00:54:38 --> 00:54:41 even Canada. Um, Thailand is another

00:54:42 --> 00:54:43 place.

00:54:43 --> 00:54:47 Um, yeah, it's it's Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

00:54:47 --> 00:54:50 It's quite a few places, but um

00:54:50 --> 00:54:52 All right. So, let's talk let's talk

00:54:52 --> 00:54:57 insurance, right? Okay. I don't know if

00:54:57 --> 00:55:00 you so much. I hope we're not going over

00:55:00 --> 00:55:02 time, y'all.

00:55:02 --> 00:55:05 I'm into this. I hope you guys are.

00:55:05 --> 00:55:06 Let's talk about insurance. Like how

00:55:06 --> 00:55:09 does insurance work when you are a trans

00:55:09 --> 00:55:11 man, you know, or trans woman and you

00:55:12 --> 00:55:14 need that support in the burden space?

00:55:14 --> 00:55:17 Like any Yeah. educators. Thank you.

00:55:17 --> 00:55:19 It's it's really the same thing. Like

00:55:19 --> 00:55:22 it's it's it's so interesting because

00:55:22 --> 00:55:25 trans people our our lives are are so

00:55:25 --> 00:55:29 much dictated by by the law. M um and I

00:55:29 --> 00:55:31 think that's why, you know, we kind of

00:55:31 --> 00:55:33 go so hard when

00:55:33 --> 00:55:36 policies are are created that take away

00:55:36 --> 00:55:38 our right our rights and things like

00:55:38 --> 00:55:41 that. Um but it's really, you know,

00:55:41 --> 00:55:42 according to where you live at,

00:55:42 --> 00:55:45 according to the state. Um like in

00:55:45 --> 00:55:48 Philly, um a lot of the things um are

00:55:48 --> 00:55:50 covered that, you know, services we get

00:55:50 --> 00:55:52 are covered by insurance, they're

00:55:52 --> 00:55:55 covered by Medicaid. Some states they're

00:55:55 --> 00:55:58 not. Um, so it really depends where you

00:55:58 --> 00:56:00 live at. Um, a lot of places in the

00:56:00 --> 00:56:04 south unfortunately have a lot of less

00:56:05 --> 00:56:07 protections and

00:56:07 --> 00:56:10 um, yeah, insurance resources than than

00:56:10 --> 00:56:12 people, you know, maybe say on the East

00:56:12 --> 00:56:15 Coast. So yeah, kind of depends on where

00:56:15 --> 00:56:17 you live.

00:56:17 --> 00:56:19 That makes a difference. Okay. All

00:56:19 --> 00:56:22 right. Well, good luck to anyone that is

00:56:22 --> 00:56:24 looking for medical assistance or

00:56:24 --> 00:56:26 anything like that. Do you have any

00:56:26 --> 00:56:28 recommendation for any maybe

00:56:28 --> 00:56:30 organization that supports you know the

00:56:30 --> 00:56:34 trends in the Burton space or that any

00:56:34 --> 00:56:37 just any resource out there for anyone

00:56:37 --> 00:56:40 who is probably struggling? Um looking

00:56:40 --> 00:56:42 for any type of education, help

00:56:42 --> 00:56:44 anything. I would say like in terms of

00:56:44 --> 00:56:48 like health services, medical services.

00:56:48 --> 00:56:51 Um, I I've been going to Planned

00:56:51 --> 00:56:56 Parenthood for over 10 years. Um, and

00:56:56 --> 00:56:58 for me that's always been an affirming

00:56:58 --> 00:57:01 space where I can get my hormones, I can

00:57:01 --> 00:57:05 get, you know, STI, STD testing, um, any

00:57:05 --> 00:57:09 type of sexual service um, that I may

00:57:09 --> 00:57:11 need. like if I if I need an abortion, I

00:57:11 --> 00:57:13 can go to Planned Parenthood. And

00:57:13 --> 00:57:14 they're

00:57:14 --> 00:57:17 knowledgeable enough about trans people

00:57:17 --> 00:57:20 and LGBTQ folks that, you know, you

00:57:20 --> 00:57:22 don't have to deal with any weird

00:57:22 --> 00:57:26 questions or any type of awkward

00:57:26 --> 00:57:29 uncomfortable situation. Um, and they're

00:57:29 --> 00:57:31 all across the country. So I, you know,

00:57:32 --> 00:57:33 I think that, you know, Planned

00:57:33 --> 00:57:36 Parenthood is, you know, always just a

00:57:36 --> 00:57:38 good start, you know, until you can find

00:57:38 --> 00:57:42 your PCP. Um, you know, some some states

00:57:42 --> 00:57:45 have LGBTQ or queer clinics and

00:57:45 --> 00:57:48 hospitals and things like that. Um, but

00:57:48 --> 00:57:49 you know, until you can find that, I

00:57:49 --> 00:57:52 think that's always a good start.

00:57:52 --> 00:57:54 Yeah. Okay. Very good. Let's talk

00:57:54 --> 00:57:58 postpartum. Yes.

00:57:58 --> 00:58:01 What areas do you think like people

00:58:01 --> 00:58:03 heterosexual people like you know go

00:58:03 --> 00:58:07 through after giving birth? Um

00:58:07 --> 00:58:10 especially for trans men

00:58:10 --> 00:58:12 like um I think is there any also I'm

00:58:12 --> 00:58:14 sorry let me cut you off and also is

00:58:14 --> 00:58:16 there any resource that black mothers in

00:58:16 --> 00:58:19 power provide as far as education

00:58:19 --> 00:58:22 support for postpartum care and things

00:58:22 --> 00:58:24 like that? Yeah.

00:58:24 --> 00:58:28 Um, so I think that

00:58:28 --> 00:58:32 um postpartum care and support for for

00:58:32 --> 00:58:36 trans men um can

00:58:36 --> 00:58:39 look very interesting and different um

00:58:39 --> 00:58:41 depending on first of all depending on

00:58:41 --> 00:58:45 where if that guy has a job and where he

00:58:45 --> 00:58:47 works, you know, is he getting some type

00:58:47 --> 00:58:51 of leave? Um, sometimes he is, sometimes

00:58:51 --> 00:58:54 he's not because he's not being seen.

00:58:54 --> 00:58:55 Well, you know, some guys aren't even

00:58:56 --> 00:58:58 out on their jobs, you know. Um, I know

00:58:58 --> 00:59:00 a lot of guys who have gotten pregnant

00:59:00 --> 00:59:03 and they've just worn larger clothing to

00:59:03 --> 00:59:06 to hide it, you know, so the job didn't

00:59:06 --> 00:59:08 know that they were pregnant. Um, so

00:59:08 --> 00:59:10 they couldn't take, you know, maternity

00:59:10 --> 00:59:12 or paternity leave. Um, and things like

00:59:12 --> 00:59:15 that. Um, so I think, you know, it's

00:59:15 --> 00:59:19 it's is very individual depending on the

00:59:19 --> 00:59:22 person. Um, I think postpartum

00:59:22 --> 00:59:26 depression is is a thing. Um, that that

00:59:26 --> 00:59:30 hasn't actually been explored as much uh

00:59:30 --> 00:59:33 when it comes to to trans men. Um, but

00:59:33 --> 00:59:35 and you know, and that's when I be

00:59:35 --> 00:59:37 talking about the the intersectionality,

00:59:37 --> 00:59:38 you know, how we can say, "Oh, yeah, we

00:59:38 --> 00:59:40 we go through this too or we go through

00:59:40 --> 00:59:43 this as well. So let's come together and

00:59:43 --> 00:59:45 talk about our experiences and kind of

00:59:45 --> 00:59:47 share resources and build you know

00:59:47 --> 00:59:52 community in this way. So yeah so sorry.

00:59:52 --> 00:59:53 So you really think there are jobs who

00:59:53 --> 00:59:58 would deny someone of um uh maternity um

00:59:58 --> 01:00:01 yeah maternity care right? Yes.

01:00:01 --> 01:00:04 Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. if you if

01:00:04 --> 01:00:07 your um city does not have

01:00:07 --> 01:00:11 uh protections for LGBTQ people um and

01:00:11 --> 01:00:13 they're in this city ordinance when it

01:00:13 --> 01:00:15 comes to employment

01:00:15 --> 01:00:17 um and and public services, you'll

01:00:17 --> 01:00:20 definitely be discriminated against.

01:00:20 --> 01:00:22 I just want to say like, you know,

01:00:22 --> 01:00:25 whether you're in LGBTQ

01:00:25 --> 01:00:29 um arena, um at the end of the day,

01:00:29 --> 01:00:31 we're all human beings, though. Like,

01:00:31 --> 01:00:33 yeah. Can we just be kind? Can we just

01:00:33 --> 01:00:36 be nice? Can we just understand that we

01:00:36 --> 01:00:40 are all humans and we're not perfect?

01:00:40 --> 01:00:42 Like your sin, if you if you want to

01:00:42 --> 01:00:44 look at that as a sin, right? Cuz a lot

01:00:44 --> 01:00:45 of people that's what they digress to

01:00:45 --> 01:00:49 immediately. Your sin like is a sin. My

01:00:49 --> 01:00:52 sin is a sin. Like you, no one has the

01:00:52 --> 01:00:55 right, I don't believe at least to point

01:00:55 --> 01:00:57 finger at anybody because when you're

01:00:57 --> 01:00:59 pointing finger at somebody, you have

01:00:59 --> 01:01:01 this finger pointing right back at you.

01:01:01 --> 01:01:03 Absolutely right. So what makes us so

01:01:03 --> 01:01:08 perfect to be so hateful that we pick

01:01:08 --> 01:01:11 certain things because you are this

01:01:11 --> 01:01:13 person we're going to, you know, exclude

01:01:13 --> 01:01:15 you, seclude you, marginalize. You know

01:01:15 --> 01:01:17 what I'm saying? M um for me that's what

01:01:17 --> 01:01:20 I see. I just want love. We say we

01:01:20 --> 01:01:22 really love and especially like those

01:01:22 --> 01:01:24 people especially people who sometimes

01:01:24 --> 01:01:26 you know visit on Christianity and I'm a

01:01:26 --> 01:01:29 Christian trust me. Um

01:01:29 --> 01:01:33 and I'm not saying that you know the

01:01:33 --> 01:01:36 Bible say XYZ. When people when I have

01:01:36 --> 01:01:37 conversations like this with people who

01:01:37 --> 01:01:39 are Christians or anything like that the

01:01:39 --> 01:01:40 first thing they will say the Bible

01:01:40 --> 01:01:44 condemns this. M well sis or brother

01:01:44 --> 01:01:45 there's a lot of other things the Bible

01:01:46 --> 01:01:47 condemns too right there's so many

01:01:48 --> 01:01:49 things yeah and I'm saying this because

01:01:49 --> 01:01:51 this is me this is what I you know this

01:01:51 --> 01:01:53 is how I see things this is how I see

01:01:53 --> 01:01:58 life um let's not be so quick to judge

01:01:58 --> 01:02:00 at the end of the day when we all die

01:02:00 --> 01:02:02 we're going to go speak for ourselves

01:02:02 --> 01:02:04 not speaking for nobody at least that's

01:02:04 --> 01:02:08 what I my dad was a pastor y

01:02:08 --> 01:02:10 Christian

01:02:10 --> 01:02:11 I know the Bible So, let me tell you a

01:02:12 --> 01:02:15 little about me. My dad was a pastor. He

01:02:15 --> 01:02:17 was a high school principal and he was a

01:02:17 --> 01:02:20 custom officer. Um, talk about a

01:02:20 --> 01:02:23 disciplinarian. Yeah. So, I grew up in a

01:02:23 --> 01:02:24 home where you were not allowed to wear

01:02:24 --> 01:02:26 pants because pants were considered

01:02:26 --> 01:02:28 sinful. It's a men's clothing. You know

01:02:28 --> 01:02:31 what I'm saying? So, like I grew up in a

01:02:31 --> 01:02:34 very strict environment where also like

01:02:34 --> 01:02:36 my education, my dad was so strict with

01:02:36 --> 01:02:38 my education where I wanted to study.

01:02:38 --> 01:02:40 This is why some of the reasons why I

01:02:40 --> 01:02:41 feel sorry for a lot of like trans

01:02:41 --> 01:02:43 people when they when people like pick

01:02:43 --> 01:02:45 on them and stuff like that. I wanted to

01:02:45 --> 01:02:47 I wanted to study accounting, right? And

01:02:48 --> 01:02:51 I was really good with accounting and um

01:02:51 --> 01:02:54 but my dad was like, "Oh, heck no.

01:02:54 --> 01:02:57 [Laughter]

01:02:57 --> 01:02:59 My daughter, yeah, you need some more to

01:02:59 --> 01:03:01 study accounting when you can be a

01:03:01 --> 01:03:04 doctor. You can be this." And by the

01:03:04 --> 01:03:07 way, I'm Nigerian so you know Nigerian

01:03:07 --> 01:03:08 parents.

01:03:08 --> 01:03:10 Yeah, being a doctor is everything to

01:03:10 --> 01:03:12 them. Like if you're not a doctor or a

01:03:12 --> 01:03:14 lawyer or something, you ain't studying

01:03:14 --> 01:03:15 nothing.

01:03:15 --> 01:03:18 So it was like, you know, so when I had

01:03:18 --> 01:03:21 to when he he he pretty much he

01:03:21 --> 01:03:23 literally and he succeeded at the

01:03:23 --> 01:03:26 beginning in forcing me to study science

01:03:26 --> 01:03:28 courses because he believes that

01:03:28 --> 01:03:30 studying accountant was not the right

01:03:30 --> 01:03:33 thing, right? I was miserable. I was

01:03:33 --> 01:03:36 depressed. I was stressed. Mhm. But I

01:03:36 --> 01:03:38 went along because he gave me an

01:03:38 --> 01:03:41 ultimatum that if I didn't study the

01:03:41 --> 01:03:43 science, take science courses, he wasn't

01:03:43 --> 01:03:44 going to pay my school fees. So it was

01:03:44 --> 01:03:47 either do that or not. Yeah. So needless

01:03:47 --> 01:03:50 to say, I studied um from my 9th grade

01:03:50 --> 01:03:52 to 12th grade, I studied science

01:03:52 --> 01:03:57 courses. I did pass mistakenly. Yeah.

01:03:57 --> 01:03:59 I think I've got more S and giving me

01:03:59 --> 01:04:02 the paper. But after studying that, I

01:04:02 --> 01:04:04 went on to college and I started

01:04:04 --> 01:04:06 continued doing what he wanted because

01:04:06 --> 01:04:07 he used he literally because I left

01:04:07 --> 01:04:09 Nigeria and came to America. I went to

01:04:09 --> 01:04:10 school in North Carolina. He literally

01:04:10 --> 01:04:12 used to call me, "Hey, are you still

01:04:12 --> 01:04:14 studying science?" I'm like, "Yes, Dad."

01:04:14 --> 01:04:15 But needless to say, because that was

01:04:15 --> 01:04:16 not what I wanted to do. I was

01:04:16 --> 01:04:19 rebellious. I at that point I didn't

01:04:19 --> 01:04:21 care. I was just having fun in college

01:04:21 --> 01:04:24 making all FS care

01:04:24 --> 01:04:25 because he wasn't there to check me. He

01:04:25 --> 01:04:28 was Nigerian and I was in America. But

01:04:28 --> 01:04:32 it got to a point when I it was like a a

01:04:32 --> 01:04:34 dead end for me where I was like I got

01:04:34 --> 01:04:38 to make a decision for me, right? So I

01:04:38 --> 01:04:41 went back I decided to change schools

01:04:41 --> 01:04:43 and went to another college. I went

01:04:43 --> 01:04:45 graduated from a H.B.C.U. which is State

01:04:45 --> 01:04:48 University. Go Rams. Yes. Um, I

01:04:48 --> 01:04:50 graduated from there, graduated with

01:04:50 --> 01:04:53 Hannes, um, with, you know, a degree I

01:04:53 --> 01:04:56 wanted. And my dream growing up has

01:04:56 --> 01:04:59 always been to work at a bank. Okay. And

01:04:59 --> 01:05:01 to be honest with you, right after I

01:05:01 --> 01:05:03 graduated, I started working for a bank

01:05:03 --> 01:05:05 and I've been with a bank for almost

01:05:05 --> 01:05:07 going on 20 years now. That's awesome.

01:05:07 --> 01:05:09 So I'm just talking about the power of

01:05:09 --> 01:05:13 you know being convinced as one to do

01:05:13 --> 01:05:17 something and someone else tried to come

01:05:17 --> 01:05:21 and instill their belief on you. Right?

01:05:22 --> 01:05:24 Let's be mindful. That's all I'm asking.

01:05:24 --> 01:05:26 You know what I'm saying? Put yourself

01:05:26 --> 01:05:28 in their shoe. M like if you see your

01:05:28 --> 01:05:30 daughter struggling with you know either

01:05:30 --> 01:05:33 their sexuality or anything in life like

01:05:33 --> 01:05:37 at at some point is what is their

01:05:37 --> 01:05:40 decision detrimental? Yeah. How

01:05:40 --> 01:05:42 really somebody and you're hurting

01:05:42 --> 01:05:45 somebody. If that's not what it is then

01:05:45 --> 01:05:48 you know what I'm saying? Um I digress.

01:05:48 --> 01:05:50 So let's go back.

01:05:50 --> 01:05:54 So just to sum it up, I just want to

01:05:54 --> 01:05:58 remind our viewers

01:05:58 --> 01:06:02 that black women in America are three to

01:06:02 --> 01:06:06 four times more likely to die of uh

01:06:06 --> 01:06:09 birth related complication, right? Um

01:06:09 --> 01:06:11 and when we say three to four times more

01:06:11 --> 01:06:13 likely to die of birth complication

01:06:13 --> 01:06:16 complicated, um yeah, you get it. Mhm.

01:06:16 --> 01:06:19 Um when we put that three to four three

01:06:19 --> 01:06:22 to four times compared to our white

01:06:22 --> 01:06:24 counterparts, we're talking about a 7

01:06:24 --> 01:06:27 to800 in numbers of people. You know

01:06:27 --> 01:06:29 what I'm saying? Mhm. That's alarming.

01:06:29 --> 01:06:32 That's somebody's mom. That's somebody's

01:06:32 --> 01:06:34 neighbor. That's somebody's coworker.

01:06:34 --> 01:06:36 That's somebody's friend. That's

01:06:36 --> 01:06:39 somebody's everything that is dying.

01:06:39 --> 01:06:44 Right. So very important that we

01:06:44 --> 01:06:50 um just focus on um what's

01:06:50 --> 01:06:52 important

01:06:52 --> 01:06:54 reclaim

01:06:54 --> 01:06:58 our rights as human being. Mhm. You know

01:06:58 --> 01:06:59 we have the right to live right to give

01:06:59 --> 01:07:02 birth. Mhm. And

01:07:02 --> 01:07:06 um just look for a way a positive way

01:07:06 --> 01:07:08 forward. Yeah. to help one another

01:07:08 --> 01:07:11 instead of the hate, the anger, the

01:07:11 --> 01:07:14 agony, the just the the the just

01:07:14 --> 01:07:17 marginalizing ourselves, picking on

01:07:18 --> 01:07:19 ourselves like we're better because

01:07:20 --> 01:07:21 we're this, we're not better because

01:07:21 --> 01:07:23 we're you're not better than me because

01:07:23 --> 01:07:25 you were this and all that good stuff.

01:07:25 --> 01:07:28 Absolutely. So, let's all be mindful.

01:07:28 --> 01:07:31 Let's uh show love.

01:07:31 --> 01:07:34 Mindful once again, I repeat, of what we

01:07:34 --> 01:07:36 say to each

01:07:36 --> 01:07:40 other, of how we conclude on

01:07:41 --> 01:07:43 people, let's

01:07:43 --> 01:07:45 be

01:07:45 --> 01:07:47 open-minded

01:07:47 --> 01:07:49 to educate

01:07:49 --> 01:07:51 ourselves. And if you see somebody who

01:07:51 --> 01:07:53 you don't think is educated and needs

01:07:53 --> 01:07:55 education, help them out. Just like he

01:07:55 --> 01:07:58 goes to Harvard and Harvard, too. I keep

01:07:58 --> 01:08:00 repeating. Yeah, I told y'all my guest

01:08:00 --> 01:08:03 today on this earlier I had a doctor

01:08:03 --> 01:08:06 that I had somebody

01:08:06 --> 01:08:08 Yo. Anyway, yeah. So, just like he goes

01:08:08 --> 01:08:11 there and have a real life conversation

01:08:12 --> 01:08:14 cuz he's he's he's a lived experience,

01:08:14 --> 01:08:17 right? have this real life conversations

01:08:17 --> 01:08:21 with uh you know educators also people

01:08:21 --> 01:08:23 who are considered you know

01:08:23 --> 01:08:26 knowledgeable already you know and also

01:08:26 --> 01:08:29 that that that goes back to you're never

01:08:29 --> 01:08:31 too old to learn. No, right and you

01:08:31 --> 01:08:34 never know it all. Yes. Just like I was

01:08:34 --> 01:08:36 talking to I was talking to a doctor the

01:08:36 --> 01:08:41 other day and um by the way um May 25th

01:08:41 --> 01:08:45 is called Africa Day, right? Um, and I'm

01:08:45 --> 01:08:46 going to go into details about what

01:08:46 --> 01:08:49 Africa day is. You can just go to chat

01:08:49 --> 01:08:51 or Google Africa day. you'll get more

01:08:51 --> 01:08:53 information about it, but pretty much

01:08:53 --> 01:08:55 it's the liberation of, you know,

01:08:55 --> 01:08:58 Africans against col colonialism from

01:08:58 --> 01:09:00 back in the day or whatever. But it's

01:09:00 --> 01:09:05 it's called African um O AU um or a AU I

01:09:06 --> 01:09:07 don't remember the name exactly, but

01:09:07 --> 01:09:09 Africa Day pretty much is set aside to

01:09:09 --> 01:09:11 celebrate Africans coming together

01:09:11 --> 01:09:13 against colonialism and try to do things

01:09:13 --> 01:09:16 as one with a strong voice, strong power

01:09:16 --> 01:09:18 to move forward and things like that.

01:09:18 --> 01:09:20 So, I was talking to someone who is a

01:09:20 --> 01:09:23 doctor and an African, right? And I'm

01:09:23 --> 01:09:25 telling him I'm hosting an event, you

01:09:25 --> 01:09:27 know, for Africa Day and I'm inviting

01:09:27 --> 01:09:31 him to come and he was pretty much

01:09:31 --> 01:09:35 downplaying the event. Not only that,

01:09:35 --> 01:09:37 like telling me he didn't know what it

01:09:37 --> 01:09:40 was. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I expect him

01:09:40 --> 01:09:42 as a doctor, somebody who's

01:09:42 --> 01:09:44 knowledgeable with that, you know, ask

01:09:44 --> 01:09:46 me questions, you know, let me educate

01:09:46 --> 01:09:48 you a little bit. Yeah. take his African

01:09:48 --> 01:09:51 car.

01:09:51 --> 01:09:55 No, we don't for him. He's my brother.

01:09:55 --> 01:09:57 It's my brother. He's my brother. What

01:09:57 --> 01:10:01 the f?

01:10:01 --> 01:10:02 So, but anyway, that just goes back to

01:10:02 --> 01:10:04 education, right? That you you you don't

01:10:04 --> 01:10:06 know it all. Even though he's a doctor,

01:10:06 --> 01:10:08 he don't know it all. He still he still

01:10:08 --> 01:10:11 needs to be educated, right? He's my

01:10:11 --> 01:10:12 brother here. He's not a doctor, right?

01:10:12 --> 01:10:15 Right. But you're educating doctors

01:10:15 --> 01:10:18 because like you know beyond just

01:10:18 --> 01:10:20 reading a textbook

01:10:20 --> 01:10:24 um so yeah so just have an open mind.

01:10:24 --> 01:10:27 Yes. Happy proud. Love. Yeah. Yeah.

01:10:27 --> 01:10:30 Yeah. Yeah. So um I do appreciate

01:10:30 --> 01:10:33 everyone for listening. Thank you. Be

01:10:33 --> 01:10:38 sure to follow us on Facebook,

01:10:38 --> 01:10:41 Instagram. Once again, I would like to I

01:10:41 --> 01:10:42 would like to appreciate everyone for

01:10:42 --> 01:10:44 listening today. It's been a pleasure

01:10:44 --> 01:10:47 having you here, Christian

01:10:47 --> 01:10:50 um the birth seed, our heritage, our

01:10:50 --> 01:10:52 legacy podcast dedicated to addressing

01:10:52 --> 01:10:55 the pressing issues of black maternal

01:10:55 --> 01:10:57 health, exploring the stories, the

01:10:57 --> 01:10:58 challenges, and the triumphs of black

01:10:58 --> 01:11:01 mothers in Delaware and beyond. And like

01:11:01 --> 01:11:02 I said earlier on this podcast,

01:11:02 --> 01:11:05 typically we dive into our heritage, the

01:11:05 --> 01:11:07 systemic barriers we face, and the

01:11:07 --> 01:11:10 legacy we aim to leave behind. And I

01:11:10 --> 01:11:11 hope that through our conversation

01:11:11 --> 01:11:13 today, you are able to learn a thing or

01:11:13 --> 01:11:15 two that you can share with your

01:11:15 --> 01:11:18 friends, family, and loved ones. Thank

01:11:18 --> 01:11:20 you. Stay tuned for our next episode. We

01:11:20 --> 01:11:24 love you. Bye.

01:11:24 --> 01:11:26 Yay.

01:11:26 --> 01:11:30 All right. Thank you.