Join host Michele in this engaging episode of "Talk to Me, Michele" as she navigates the current state of social manners and courtesy. Reflecting on personal anecdotes, Michele shares her frustrations and insights about the fading art of politeness in modern society.
From the simple act of saying thank you to the overarching need for bringing back etiquette classes, Michele passionately discusses the importance of common courtesy and its impact on our daily interactions. Through humor and relatable experiences, she calls for a revival of respectful behavior, urging listeners to start small by practicing basic manners at home.
This episode highlights the essential role politeness plays in enhancing human connections and how we can collectively work towards a kinder world, one polite gesture at a time. Tune in for a thoughtful conversation on the importance of maintaining mutual respect and dignity in everyday life.
00:00:00 --> 00:00:26 Music.
00:00:26 --> 00:00:32 Another episode of Talk to Me, Michelle. I am your host, Michelle with one L.
00:00:32 --> 00:00:36 I make sure I make that announcement every episode because people still have
00:00:36 --> 00:00:39 a habit of putting two L's in my name, but it's just one.
00:00:39 --> 00:00:41 All right. So I'm doing fabulous.
00:00:41 --> 00:00:45 I hope everybody out there listening is doing fabulous. And if this is your
00:00:45 --> 00:00:50 first time listening in, please subscribe to the podcast, share it with a family
00:00:50 --> 00:00:54 member or friend and leave me a podcast review.
00:00:54 --> 00:00:57 That's how the platform grows where you guys share
00:00:57 --> 00:01:00 and give your feedback so I appreciate y'all
00:01:00 --> 00:01:04 but I do have an update for you guys so life
00:01:04 --> 00:01:09 has been lifing lately and between juggling everything on my plate and keeping
00:01:09 --> 00:01:15 this podcast as fabulous as ever I had to make a little adjustment starting
00:01:15 --> 00:01:20 now I'll be dropping one episode a week instead of two I know I know don't be
00:01:20 --> 00:01:22 throwing no tomatoes at me.
00:01:22 --> 00:01:26 This just means I'll have more time to make each episode more juicier,
00:01:27 --> 00:01:30 funnier, full of the good stuff you tune in for.
00:01:30 --> 00:01:35 Quality over quantity, right? You'll still get all the great laughs,
00:01:35 --> 00:01:40 lessons, and good vibes, just with a slightly slower pace, okay?
00:01:40 --> 00:01:44 So thanks for rocking with me, and I promise I won't let you down.
00:01:44 --> 00:01:49 Let me tell y'all about this phone call I had the other day that really got me thinking.
00:01:50 --> 00:01:54 So I called an associate on the West Coast because, you know,
00:01:54 --> 00:01:57 the fires out there have been wild. And I wanted to check on them.
00:01:57 --> 00:02:01 Just a quick, hey, are you safe? Everything okay?
00:02:02 --> 00:02:05 You think a simple thank you would roll off their tongue, right?
00:02:05 --> 00:02:07 Nope. Straight crickets.
00:02:08 --> 00:02:11 I actually had to follow up with, you're welcome.
00:02:11 --> 00:02:14 Like, excuse me, I didn't have to think about you at all, but I did.
00:02:15 --> 00:02:16 And that's when it hit me.
00:02:17 --> 00:02:23 Where has the basic courtesy of gratitude gone? When someone cares enough to check on you, right?
00:02:23 --> 00:02:27 The least you can do is say thank you. It's not hard.
00:02:27 --> 00:02:31 And last I checked, saying those two words is still free.
00:02:32 --> 00:02:36 That moment was my light bulb. It really was because this episode had to happen
00:02:36 --> 00:02:39 because it's just not about the thank yous anymore.
00:02:40 --> 00:02:45 It's about how society seems to have taken common manners and tossed them out
00:02:45 --> 00:02:48 the window like yesterday's leftovers. So let's get to it.
00:02:49 --> 00:02:55 Now let's talk about what feels like the slow and painful death of good manners.
00:02:56 --> 00:03:01 Remember the days when men holding doors open for women was just standard.
00:03:02 --> 00:03:07 Music.
00:03:07 --> 00:03:10 And that's their way of saying, you know, hey, I see you, queen.
00:03:10 --> 00:03:11 Step on through and stop.
00:03:11 --> 00:03:14 Even though I don't like queen, but the door is being open for me.
00:03:14 --> 00:03:15 So I'm going to let that one slide.
00:03:15 --> 00:03:20 But these days, not only is holding the door swinging shut.
00:03:20 --> 00:03:24 On the rare occasion where a man does hold it open for a woman,
00:03:25 --> 00:03:29 some women just waltz through like the door is automatically opening for them.
00:03:29 --> 00:03:30 And they forget to say thank you.
00:03:31 --> 00:03:36 And don't even get me started on entitlement, really, because it's like people
00:03:36 --> 00:03:38 think politeness is optional.
00:03:39 --> 00:03:43 A little wave when someone lets you merge in traffic, that's gone.
00:03:43 --> 00:03:49 A quick excuse me when someone accidentally bumps into you, poof, it's disappeared.
00:03:49 --> 00:03:55 It's like we've collectively decided that a small kind gestures of life are
00:03:55 --> 00:03:57 out of style, like low rise jeans.
00:03:58 --> 00:04:02 But unlike those jeans, we actually need manners to keep society from turning
00:04:02 --> 00:04:06 into one big chaotic free fall. We got to do better.
00:04:06 --> 00:04:11 Politeness isn't just for show. It's how we remind each other that we are all
00:04:11 --> 00:04:13 human and worthy of a little kindness.
00:04:14 --> 00:04:16 And right now we are flunking the test.
00:04:17 --> 00:04:21 I'm gonna go ahead and get this off my chest because there are some manner of
00:04:21 --> 00:04:25 fences that test my patience on a regular basis.
00:04:25 --> 00:04:32 First up, public speakerphone conversations. Why do these even exist?
00:04:32 --> 00:04:36 I don't need to hear about your cousin's court case or what you having for dinner.
00:04:37 --> 00:04:40 Nobody asked the live stream version of your phone call.
00:04:40 --> 00:04:46 Some headphones, whatever device you're using to communicate with, use headphones.
00:04:46 --> 00:04:48 Take it down a notch.
00:04:48 --> 00:04:52 Then there are the folks who seem to have no control over their kids in public.
00:04:52 --> 00:04:57 I understand kids are kids, but running around like it's a track meet in the
00:04:57 --> 00:05:00 middle of the store, knocking things over, screaming.
00:05:00 --> 00:05:04 That's where I draw the line. You're shopping for groceries.
00:05:04 --> 00:05:05 You're not hosting recess.
00:05:06 --> 00:05:10 And don't even get me started on the people who won't give up a seat for an elderly person.
00:05:10 --> 00:05:15 If you see someone's grandma struggling to stand on a bus or in a waiting room
00:05:15 --> 00:05:20 and you just sitting there scrolling on TikTok, That's a whole new level of rudeness.
00:05:21 --> 00:05:25 Let's not talk about the people who get too comfortable in someone else's home.
00:05:25 --> 00:05:28 You know, you invite them over, their feet are up on the furniture,
00:05:29 --> 00:05:33 they help themselves to your refrigerator, and they flop on your couch like
00:05:33 --> 00:05:35 they paying the mortgage up in this piece.
00:05:35 --> 00:05:40 Now, act like a guest, not a squatter. One of my biggest pet peeves is when
00:05:40 --> 00:05:43 people who talk over others in conversation.
00:05:43 --> 00:05:47 Can we let everybody land their thoughts?
00:05:47 --> 00:05:51 Everybody deserves a chance to express themselves without being interrupted
00:05:51 --> 00:05:55 mid-sentence. It's not a competition. It's just a conversation.
00:05:55 --> 00:05:59 Another one is folks who get way too comfortable way too fast.
00:05:59 --> 00:06:03 Like when if I mentioned my dad in a story or something of that nature,
00:06:03 --> 00:06:09 don't you dare refer to him as Pops, Uncle, Nardat, because that is Mr. Tompkins to you.
00:06:10 --> 00:06:14 Put some respect on his name. You don't know him like that, and you're not about
00:06:14 --> 00:06:17 to get an invite to the Sunday dinner addressing him like that.
00:06:18 --> 00:06:22 And speaking of respect, I got to bring up the kids again because I've heard
00:06:22 --> 00:06:25 kids talk to their parents crazy.
00:06:26 --> 00:06:29 And it makes me like I have a fear.
00:06:29 --> 00:06:34 I go back to childhood myself. If I ever, ever, ever took that tone with either
00:06:34 --> 00:06:37 one of my parents, the predicament I would be in.
00:06:37 --> 00:06:40 Because back in the day, if you so much rolled your eyes at your parents,
00:06:41 --> 00:06:42 you were risking your life.
00:06:42 --> 00:06:48 Now, kids are out here acting like they run the household. I want to know where we went wrong.
00:06:48 --> 00:06:52 Another pet peeve of mine is when people try to be slick.
00:06:52 --> 00:06:56 You know, when you go out shopping, you get your items, you get in line,
00:06:56 --> 00:06:57 you stand in line, you're ready to check out.
00:06:58 --> 00:07:02 But some people like to try to cut the line. Like you don't see what's going on.
00:07:02 --> 00:07:05 I had that happen when I was taking my son to get his social security card.
00:07:05 --> 00:07:09 I got there early because I already know there was going to be a line and a waiting process.
00:07:10 --> 00:07:14 And the closer I was getting to this building to get this wrapped up,
00:07:14 --> 00:07:18 this lady tries to cut in front of me and my son. acting like she'd been standing there the whole time.
00:07:19 --> 00:07:22 And when I called her out, I was like, ma'am, the line is back there.
00:07:22 --> 00:07:26 I'm going to give you common courtesy. Since you act like you don't know where
00:07:26 --> 00:07:29 the line starts, I'm going to point you in that direction.
00:07:29 --> 00:07:32 And the half of it was trying to get a little confrontational with me verbally.
00:07:33 --> 00:07:36 And the security there was like, ma'am, get your ass to the back of the line.
00:07:36 --> 00:07:39 And one last one, just for social etiquette.
00:07:40 --> 00:07:44 People who don't RSVP to events, but they still show up like it's a free-for-all.
00:07:45 --> 00:07:47 Let me tell you something. This is not a pop up shop.
00:07:48 --> 00:07:52 It's a planned gathering and you need to check in before you check out my snacks.
00:07:53 --> 00:07:56 These little lapses and etiquette are just exhausting.
00:07:56 --> 00:08:01 It's like people skip the day in school where they were taught basic decency
00:08:01 --> 00:08:03 or maybe they skipped a whole semester.
00:08:03 --> 00:08:06 Either way, we need a refresher course ASAP.
00:08:07 --> 00:08:12 Now, let me take you back to a time when manners were not just optional.
00:08:12 --> 00:08:15 They were non-negotiable, for real.
00:08:16 --> 00:08:20 Growing up, there were things you just knew not to do.
00:08:20 --> 00:08:24 And if you valued your behind by the time you got home and doing all your dirty
00:08:24 --> 00:08:26 work, you knew not to do it beforehand.
00:08:27 --> 00:08:31 If I ever went to a friend's house and I heard them talking real sick to their
00:08:31 --> 00:08:37 parents, I'd be standing there in shock like, are you trying to die? Because I knew better.
00:08:37 --> 00:08:41 I knew better. Did I try it once or twice?
00:08:42 --> 00:08:46 Yes. Testing the waters with my slick mouth, I did. But I quickly learned those
00:08:46 --> 00:08:49 waters were filled with swift consequences.
00:08:49 --> 00:08:53 My parents didn't believe in taking things out the way some folks do now.
00:08:53 --> 00:08:58 They believed in instant results. And let's just say I stayed in line after
00:08:58 --> 00:08:59 a couple of memorable lessons.
00:08:59 --> 00:09:03 And let me tell you, my sister and I even went to etiquette school.
00:09:04 --> 00:09:09 Yes, we did. We learn how to eat properly, how to speak politely,
00:09:09 --> 00:09:13 even how to sit down without looking like we were about to slide out of the chair.
00:09:13 --> 00:09:17 It wasn't just about the table manners. It was about how to carry yourself with
00:09:17 --> 00:09:20 respect for yourself and others.
00:09:20 --> 00:09:25 And honestly, I highly recommend etiquette classes for parents of any young adults today.
00:09:25 --> 00:09:28 But this is the thing. It starts at home.
00:09:29 --> 00:09:34 You can't expect mismanners to fix what hasn't been addressed in the home because
00:09:34 --> 00:09:39 parents, if you're not teaching this saying thank you and please at home,
00:09:39 --> 00:09:43 it's not going to kill you or them. It's going to actually make them a better person.
00:09:43 --> 00:09:47 Show them how to respect others and watch how far it takes them in life.
00:09:47 --> 00:09:52 Those lessons taught us that manners aren't just about looking good.
00:09:52 --> 00:09:54 They're about showing respect for yourself and others.
00:09:54 --> 00:09:58 And honestly, I think the world could use a little refresher. fresher.
00:09:58 --> 00:10:02 Structured lessons like those could teach this generation that it's not lame
00:10:02 --> 00:10:06 to say please and thank you. It's just basic decency.
00:10:06 --> 00:10:12 I'm going to say it. We need etiquette classes back in this world. We need them now.
00:10:12 --> 00:10:17 You know, back in the day marriage were like a secret sauce that made society run smoothly.
00:10:17 --> 00:10:21 It didn't matter if you were rich or if you were poor. There were certain standards
00:10:21 --> 00:10:25 of politeness everybody followed and it made life a lot more pleasant.
00:10:25 --> 00:10:28 But now we've forgotten this recipe.
00:10:28 --> 00:10:32 Honestly, I don't know about you, but I'm tired of seeing grown folks out here
00:10:32 --> 00:10:35 acting like they've never been taught basic decency.
00:10:35 --> 00:10:40 I mean, listen, some of these kids and adults need a whole crash course on how to behave in public.
00:10:41 --> 00:10:44 So imagine the world where people actually did say thank you.
00:10:44 --> 00:10:48 They would hold the door open for everybody that came through or where someone
00:10:48 --> 00:10:51 doesn't talk over you in a conversation like it's a competition.
00:10:51 --> 00:10:56 Like, Picture this. A kid actually says, excuse me, when they want to pass by
00:10:56 --> 00:11:00 you in the grocery store instead of bulldozing you with a shopping cart.
00:11:00 --> 00:11:02 That's a beautiful thing.
00:11:02 --> 00:11:05 Attica classes aren't just about turning everybody into robots either.
00:11:05 --> 00:11:09 It's about teaching folks how to engage with the world. And I think we lack
00:11:09 --> 00:11:10 that, especially after the pandemic.
00:11:11 --> 00:11:15 We need to re-engage with the world and be taught how to do so.
00:11:15 --> 00:11:19 Unfortunately, we do. So let's bring those classes back because we all know
00:11:19 --> 00:11:22 the world could use a little more please and thank you.
00:11:22 --> 00:11:27 And I'm sorry, if we can start just there, maybe we won't have to send out public
00:11:27 --> 00:11:29 service announcements about basic manners.
00:11:30 --> 00:11:34 Now, I've aired my grievances, okay? So let's talk about some solutions.
00:11:34 --> 00:11:37 Let's talk about how we can make the world a little bit more polite.
00:11:38 --> 00:11:43 Because honestly, it's 2025, y'all. And some of these manners are still lost in transition.
00:11:43 --> 00:11:49 I mean, when was the last time someone said thank you for the door being held open for them?
00:11:49 --> 00:11:54 If you experienced that, you're either a saint or living in a very rare part of the world.
00:11:55 --> 00:12:00 So by improving, we can start with the basics at home. So parents, I need you to do this.
00:12:00 --> 00:12:06 It begins at home. Kids need to be taught that saying please and thank you is not optional.
00:12:06 --> 00:12:11 It is required, like brushing your teeth. Don't get me started on the kids.
00:12:11 --> 00:12:12 Don't even acknowledge their elders.
00:12:12 --> 00:12:16 If a grown person says, excuse me, young man, you dropped something,
00:12:17 --> 00:12:19 you better believe that kids should be saying thank you.
00:12:19 --> 00:12:23 Not rolling their eyes like you just asked them to solve the world hunger problem.
00:12:24 --> 00:12:29 And you also have to set an example. You can't expect anybody to use manners
00:12:29 --> 00:12:31 if you out here acting a fool.
00:12:31 --> 00:12:35 You got to lead by example. So you got to hold the doors open.
00:12:35 --> 00:12:37 Offer your seat to somebody who needs it.
00:12:37 --> 00:12:42 Say please and thank you. People catch on. Trust me, it's like kindness virus.
00:12:42 --> 00:12:46 We need that kind of virus in our life. And no one wants to be the one who looks
00:12:46 --> 00:12:48 bad in front of a polite crowd.
00:12:48 --> 00:12:53 And you can also teach little things like for real. Don't let someone talk over you.
00:12:53 --> 00:12:57 If you're in a conversation, let everybody have a turn.
00:12:57 --> 00:13:01 And I'm not saying it has to be a debate, but at least give people a chance
00:13:01 --> 00:13:04 to finish a sentence without feeling like they're in the middle of a race.
00:13:05 --> 00:13:09 Manners make conversation smoother. It's like butter on hot toast.
00:13:10 --> 00:13:12 And again, I'm going to say it, bring back them etiquette classes.
00:13:12 --> 00:13:15 That needs to be a requirement in all school systems.
00:13:16 --> 00:13:21 Even if you bypass it in junior high and high school, that needs to be a requirement in college.
00:13:21 --> 00:13:25 Okay, it really does. Because ultimately it's simple. We need to be kinder,
00:13:26 --> 00:13:28 more respectful, and aware of how we treat others.
00:13:29 --> 00:13:32 So it's a small start, but it's a start.
00:13:32 --> 00:13:35 And you can also, like I said, beside holding open doors, you can give a genuine
00:13:35 --> 00:13:40 compliment. For the love of all things holy, use your manners.
00:13:40 --> 00:13:44 We could turn this ship around one thank you at a time.
00:13:45 --> 00:13:49 Okay, friends, it's time to wrap this up. If there's one thing I want you to
00:13:49 --> 00:13:53 take away from this episode, it's manners matter.
00:13:53 --> 00:14:00 A little courtesy goes a long way in creating a world where we could all feel respected and seen.
00:14:00 --> 00:14:04 And it's just a little less stressful. It's the small things like a genuine
00:14:04 --> 00:14:06 thank you, holding the door open again.
00:14:06 --> 00:14:09 That reminds us we're all in this together.
00:14:09 --> 00:14:14 Thank you so much again for tuning in. I hope you found this episode insightful.
00:14:14 --> 00:14:18 And don't forget, I'll be dropping one episode a week now. So make sure you
00:14:18 --> 00:14:21 are subscribed and ready for the next week's show.
00:14:21 --> 00:14:25 Thank you so much for tuning in. Don't forget, I'll be dropping one episode a week now.
00:14:25 --> 00:14:28 So make sure you're subscribed so you can be ready for the next episode.
00:14:28 --> 00:14:31 And while you're at check out the MBG podcast network
00:14:31 --> 00:14:35 to support other amazing podcasters spreading black
00:14:35 --> 00:14:38 excellence and if you want to support this podcast
00:14:38 --> 00:14:42 head on over to buymeacoffee.com backslash talktomemichelle
00:14:42 --> 00:14:47 that's Michelle with one L every bit helps keep the good vibes coming your way
00:14:47 --> 00:14:52 and of course stay connected with me on social media on everything is at talktomemichelle
00:14:52 --> 00:14:56 I'm on YouTube and all the usual spots so let's keep these conversations going
00:14:56 --> 00:14:58 so until next time everybody.
00:14:58 --> 00:15:15 Music.
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