Episode 31: Handling Haters: Rising Above Negativity and Thriving

[00:00:09] Talk To Me Michele.

[00:00:27] Welcome back to another episode of Talk To Me Michele, the podcast.

[00:00:30] I like to get into some real conversations and they're ranging from the good, the bad, and sometimes the straight up messy.

[00:00:39] Let's be adults. We all like a little messy.

[00:00:42] Anyway, I'm your host, Michele, and today's episode is going to hit close to home for a lot of y'all.

[00:00:48] A lot of y'all gonna be like, you know what? She's right. I have dealt with that before.

[00:00:53] Everybody has dealt with this. And that is... Haters.

[00:01:04] You're the people who love to throw shade, criticize everything you do, and seem to be rooting for your downfall.

[00:01:14] We've all been there. But here's the thing. Having haters isn't always a bad thing.

[00:01:21] In fact, it is a sign that you are doing something right, making moves and getting noticed.

[00:01:28] I am going to share some personal stories about how I've dealt with the hate.

[00:01:31] And we'll talk about how to handle those negative vibes like a pro.

[00:01:36] Because at the end of the day, haters are going to hate.

[00:01:39] But we are going to elevate. That's gotta be a new t-shirt.

[00:01:43] Haters gonna hate, but we're gonna elevate.

[00:01:46] So buckle up and let's dive into how the rise above and stay focused on your own journey.

[00:01:56] Now I know we all know what a hater is, but let me go ahead and break down the definition.

[00:02:01] And a hater is someone who is consistently showing negative, critical, or jealous behavior toward others.

[00:02:07] Often without a valid reason.

[00:02:09] And they may underestimate your achievements, throw shade, try to bring you down because of their own insecurities.

[00:02:17] Remember that.

[00:02:19] And they have a dissatisfaction with their own lives.

[00:02:22] This is why they want to put all this energy off on you.

[00:02:25] Because you are living a life that they want.

[00:02:29] You are getting vibes and attention and opportunities, and they want the same thing.

[00:02:35] One thing I've noticed about haters, and I mean this is just in general conversation.

[00:02:39] They tend to criticize or spread negativity.

[00:02:42] I don't care where they're at.

[00:02:45] Their energy, soon as they pop up, it could be a good vibe going.

[00:02:48] Soon as they pop up, they throw some shade out there, throw some negative nonsense.

[00:02:52] I'm like, okay, damn, we were having fun.

[00:02:54] Why'd you bring your ass in here?

[00:02:56] They're not there to offer any type of constructive feedback.

[00:02:59] Because they feel threatened.

[00:03:01] They're envious or they simply want to see you fall.

[00:03:04] In many cases, their actions say more about their internal struggles than about the person they are targeting.

[00:03:11] So who could qualify as a hater?

[00:03:15] I'm going to be like Oprah when she was giving out stuff to her audience.

[00:03:19] You get a call.

[00:03:19] No, you get a hater.

[00:03:20] You get a hater.

[00:03:21] Everybody going to get a hater.

[00:03:22] Everybody gets a hater.

[00:03:24] Because they can come from all walks of life.

[00:03:27] You've got online trolls.

[00:03:29] You got jealous peers.

[00:03:31] Critics disguised as friends.

[00:03:34] Your colleagues.

[00:03:36] Even some family members.

[00:03:37] Let's not forget that one.

[00:03:39] And I know in this time we're so sensitive about, you know, being too judgmental on ourselves when we get a vibe and we just dismiss it.

[00:03:49] So you can learn how to distinguish constructive criticism from the hater.

[00:03:55] And how you do that is that constructive criticism and pure hate comes down to intent and delivery.

[00:04:02] So if you're giving me constructive criticism, you're trying to help me grow.

[00:04:07] You're offering, you know, you're offering, you know, specifics, accountable feedback, action that can be taken in a respectful way.

[00:04:14] You know, it comes from people that care about you, about your progress, and they want to see you improve.

[00:04:19] But when you get advice from a hater, it's a totally opposite reaction.

[00:04:24] You know, they like being negative for the sake of being negative.

[00:04:28] Their response is vague, dismissive, malicious.

[00:04:33] There is no helpful advice whatsoever.

[00:04:35] It's just aim to tear you down.

[00:04:38] They'll say little slick shit.

[00:04:40] You know what I mean?

[00:04:41] Like you'll never succeed.

[00:04:42] Or you're terrible at this.

[00:04:44] Offering no solution, no support, just emptiness and negativity.

[00:04:50] Now, as a grown adult, you might be asking yourself, what did I do to this person to cause them to hate me so much?

[00:04:57] You may not have to do absolutely nothing.

[00:05:01] I mean, absolutely nothing.

[00:05:04] People are haters for several reasons.

[00:05:08] They're often rooted in their own insecurities or dissatisfaction.

[00:05:12] You got to look at also, we got this little jealousy thing going on.

[00:05:16] When someone sees other people succeeding, they may resent it.

[00:05:20] They may feel stuck and inadequate in their own life.

[00:05:23] But the insecurity, I think, is what taps most people that I've interacted with that have this problem.

[00:05:29] It's a fuel to hate.

[00:05:32] Putting others down is a way to feel superior or mask their own fears of failure.

[00:05:37] Sometimes haters protect their own unhappiness onto others.

[00:05:41] You know how you've seen people I mentioned earlier about how people can just come in a situation and the whole vibe that was once positive is just totally done.

[00:05:50] It's gone.

[00:05:51] They have made an appearance alone, you know.

[00:05:54] Oh God.

[00:05:56] You guys know when you see somebody who is always going to piss on the party.

[00:06:00] And that's what you are mentally saying to yourself.

[00:06:02] Oh God.

[00:06:03] Here they come.

[00:06:04] Why are you here?

[00:06:05] So even though they're independently going through the struggle within themselves, but it's reflecting and affecting everybody they interact with.

[00:06:13] So keep in mind that hating is more about the haters internal struggles more than it is the person that they're targeting.

[00:06:20] But you have to look at the examples that we have in pop culture.

[00:06:23] You know, haters have a common theme in pop culture with many famous figures openly dealing with negativity and criticism.

[00:06:31] Taylor Swift.

[00:06:32] She gets it left and right.

[00:06:34] She is.

[00:06:35] I'm telling you right now for her to be as successful as she is.

[00:06:39] And that shows you the more successful that you are, the more people are just going to dislike you.

[00:06:44] That's just how it is.

[00:06:46] But she's a prime example of being faced with constant criticism, constant hate in the media.

[00:06:52] And it's being called everything from overrated to calculating.

[00:06:56] But people won't let people shine.

[00:06:59] When it comes to Taylor Swift, she turned it the fuel for her success.

[00:07:05] That's how you have to redirect that because you know what?

[00:07:07] If you're hating on me now, give me a little moment and I'll be right back.

[00:07:13] And when I get back, your hate are going to be greater.

[00:07:17] I'm sounding like Dr. Seuss on this episode.

[00:07:20] Another pop culture figure is LeBron James.

[00:07:23] He's also dealt with hate throughout his career, whether it was for switching teams and not meeting people's high expectations.

[00:07:31] But he's remained focused, becoming one of the greatest basketball players of all time.

[00:07:35] You got to give him his props on that.

[00:07:37] So in personal context, think of the times when someone has questioned your capabilities or tried to minimize your success just because they were envious or feeling inadequate.

[00:07:48] These experiences are all examples of how hate often comes from a place of insecurity.

[00:07:55] So let's look at the red flags.

[00:07:57] Sometimes you're going to get these backhanded compliments.

[00:08:00] You know, it's meant to be a compliment, but it's some slickness in there.

[00:08:05] Like you did well for someone like you.

[00:08:08] Oh, I'm surprised you pulled that off.

[00:08:10] You little slick shit like that.

[00:08:12] You a hater.

[00:08:15] You are a hater.

[00:08:18] Constant criticism is another one because no matter how well you do what you do, they always find something negative to say.

[00:08:24] Even when other people are giving you your props.

[00:08:28] You know how it is when you've done well on something and you've got people who truly are happy for your success.

[00:08:35] You can always tell the shady ones because they minimize their celebration for you.

[00:08:42] They don't even say nothing half the time.

[00:08:44] But undermining your success is a downplay or dismissal of your achievement saying things like, you know, you just got lucky.

[00:08:52] Anyone could have done that.

[00:08:53] Well, you didn't.

[00:08:55] Is that why you mad?

[00:08:58] Gossiping, you know, behind your back.

[00:09:00] They spread rumors or speak negatively about you when you're not around trying to tarnish your reputation.

[00:09:05] And my thing about it is I always tell my haters, you are giving me free PR.

[00:09:11] Okay.

[00:09:12] I don't have to be in the room and you still got my name in your mouth.

[00:09:18] And you know what you're doing?

[00:09:19] You are striking up curiosity now for those who don't know me.

[00:09:23] And like I said, I like folks who think for themselves.

[00:09:25] So either they can take the time to get to know who I am or they can ride with your opinion or just hate whatever you were going through with me.

[00:09:33] And lack of support.

[00:09:35] Now, when true friends celebrate your wins, haters tend to ignore.

[00:09:43] Sorry.

[00:09:45] Haters tend to ignore your achievements.

[00:09:48] Now, when I promote my podcast and it's come a couple of levels up and it's been a lot of hard work to get to that point and still working on doing some other things.

[00:10:00] But at the same time, there's a certain circle you have and you notice the side that claps for you and the ones that don't say nothing.

[00:10:08] They just like crickets.

[00:10:10] So they tend to ignore these achievements and act resentful when good things happen for you.

[00:10:16] Jealousy disguised as concern is another red flag.

[00:10:19] They pretend to be like they are so concerned about you.

[00:10:23] Oh, where you been?

[00:10:24] I'm just looking out for you.

[00:10:26] And comparing you to others, they constantly pit you against other people, making you feel like you're never good enough.

[00:10:34] And I want people to stop doing that because see, that's a competition.

[00:10:37] They've pushed you in.

[00:10:39] You didn't put yourself in that competition.

[00:10:40] But these are the common red flags that you may see in a hater.

[00:10:47] So how should we respond?

[00:10:48] Because you've got to give a response, don't you?

[00:10:52] Not necessarily.

[00:10:53] Because see, when I know I have a hater, I ignore him.

[00:10:57] That is the most peaceful way for me.

[00:11:00] Not to give.

[00:11:01] Why am I going to waste my energy for somebody who don't like me?

[00:11:04] Why am I going to go out my way?

[00:11:06] Why don't you like me?

[00:11:07] No, I am so good with myself.

[00:11:10] So that's one of the best ways to handle your haters.

[00:11:13] Just simply ignoring them.

[00:11:14] Don't engage with their negativity or give them a reaction that they're looking for.

[00:11:19] Because see, as soon as we react to that nonsense, then they got a doorway to ride that out.

[00:11:26] But silence can be your strongest response.

[00:11:28] Showing that you are focused on your goals and unbothered by their opinions.

[00:11:33] They cannot stand it because they didn't rile you up to get a reaction.

[00:11:38] Another powerful approach is killing them with kindness.

[00:11:41] That is the response you want to give your haters.

[00:11:43] When they start throwing shade, counter it with a little positivity.

[00:11:48] Say something kind or encouraging in return.

[00:11:51] This can disarm haters right off the bat because they're expecting you to do a negative response or be defensive.

[00:11:58] And when you give them that kindness, it shows your maturity level and confidence demonstrating that their negativity won't bring you down.

[00:12:07] I'm going to give you a personal story on this one because I wasn't alive.

[00:12:10] It was positive vibes.

[00:12:11] A person I don't really care for and I have spoken on because it was bad interactions previously.

[00:12:17] And they're all in the comments, you know, why you know what you did.

[00:12:22] You don't know me.

[00:12:23] And I stopped the whole conversation.

[00:12:25] I said, okay, hold up.

[00:12:26] You want to have a conversation behind the scenes?

[00:12:28] We'll do that.

[00:12:29] But we're not going to do this public display.

[00:12:32] Now, of course, you know, my invitation was declined.

[00:12:35] But see, that's how you got to deal with folks.

[00:12:38] Because I'm not going to run from you.

[00:12:40] You're not going to bait me to give you a show.

[00:12:44] You're not going to bait me because you need relevance.

[00:12:46] You do it on your own, boo boo.

[00:12:48] But you can also use their negativity as motivation.

[00:12:52] Let the haters fuel your ambition.

[00:12:56] Use their doubts, their criticisms as motivation to prove them wrong and push yourself even further.

[00:13:03] Using this negativity is one of my favorite fuels, honestly.

[00:13:06] I mean, I like taking what people say, what they think, which does not affect me.

[00:13:11] It fuels me.

[00:13:12] And not to a fueling point where I'm angry.

[00:13:15] I'm feeling in a creativity mode.

[00:13:17] Because now I'm going to hit this laptop a little bit harder.

[00:13:20] Now I'm going to cut this another video.

[00:13:22] Now I'm going to drop this other episode.

[00:13:23] So that's where all that negative doubt, whatever you've got going on with yourself on me, ain't going to work.

[00:13:29] You just making me, you're like my Red Bull.

[00:13:33] I'll put it to you that way.

[00:13:34] You are my Red Bull that's going to make me be even greater.

[00:13:39] The key is to avoid giving your power over your emotions to your haters.

[00:13:45] Because it's about how you respond to them.

[00:13:48] And there's a couple of key elements that you can take so you know how to respond to them.

[00:13:53] Recognize it's about them, not you.

[00:13:55] You have to understand that the hate usually stems from their own insecurity or dissatisfaction within themselves.

[00:14:02] When you realize that, it's easier not to take their words so personally or even pay it no mind.

[00:14:09] Knowing that negativity reflects more on them than it does on you.

[00:14:14] Stay grounded in your own worth.

[00:14:16] Because see, the point of this negativity coming towards you is to knock you down a couple of pegs.

[00:14:21] And you need to use that to strengthen yourself.

[00:14:23] You've got to remind yourself about your strengths, your accomplishments, and the self-worth you have.

[00:14:29] And you have confidence in yourself.

[00:14:30] You don't have these issues that these people have.

[00:14:32] The opinions of others hold less weight.

[00:14:35] So don't let nobody else's perspective of you dictate how you feel about yourself.

[00:14:41] Now y'all know my route is ignoring folks.

[00:14:43] I ain't got time for that.

[00:14:44] But if you do have some type of a connection and you need to detach emotionally, go ahead and start dissing yourself.

[00:14:52] You know, just being around certain people, elements can drain you.

[00:14:56] So you have to view their negativity objectively.

[00:14:59] It's a noise that doesn't even bother you in the background.

[00:15:04] If the fan is clanking in the background, I don't even hear it no more.

[00:15:07] This is a mental detachment.

[00:15:09] It's going to help you maintain your control over these emotions.

[00:15:12] It's going to start brewing up and it's going to prevent you from reacting impulsively.

[00:15:17] That's something we definitely got to watch because it's so quick to get caught up in a situation.

[00:15:21] And, you know, as soon as you pull back, don't give them what they want.

[00:15:25] And I'm so confused on why grown folks need validation nowadays, you know, because when you stop seeking approval from others, including the haters, their opinions lose their power over you.

[00:15:38] They do because I could care less what you think, what you say.

[00:15:42] Regardless, I'm not coming home to you.

[00:15:45] You're not paying none of these bills.

[00:15:47] So why should your opinion matter?

[00:15:49] Focus on self-validation, trusting your own judgment.

[00:15:52] And instead of dwelling on what other people say, just redirect your energy.

[00:15:57] I stated earlier is a great fuel for me.

[00:16:00] I get more creative.

[00:16:01] I push a little bit harder.

[00:16:02] So redirect that energy toward your goals, positive pursuits, channeling in on your focus into productive areas.

[00:16:10] It takes away from the influence that haters could have over you and mindset and your emotions.

[00:16:16] So you need to find something to do.

[00:16:18] Get that outlet.

[00:16:20] Find a new hobby.

[00:16:21] Watch a comedy.

[00:16:23] Something that's going to take your mind off of that because it's not even worth the thought.

[00:16:29] Now, how do haters reflect on you?

[00:16:33] This is how you have to turn into a positive.

[00:16:35] The idea that having haters means that you're doing something right, first of all, and you're making an impact.

[00:16:40] There's famous quotes that we have out here.

[00:16:43] I got to play Cat Williams for y'all because this is the all-time quote on haters.

[00:16:47] They're saying live your motherfucking life.

[00:16:49] You got to get your motherfucking hustle.

[00:16:51] Understand niggas is going to hate you regardless.

[00:16:53] Get that out of your head, that fantasy world where niggas ain't hating on you.

[00:16:57] You got to be grateful.

[00:16:58] You need haters.

[00:16:59] What the fuck is you complaining about?

[00:17:01] What the fuck do you think a hater's job is?

[00:17:03] To fucking hate.

[00:17:04] So let them motherfuckers do their goddamn job.

[00:17:07] What the fuck is you complaining about?

[00:17:09] And the thing about this you have to walk away with is that they are secret fans.

[00:17:15] Your haters are fans because while else would they put so much energy and negativity on you

[00:17:21] and they don't really have that connection with you.

[00:17:25] I've never understood why if I don't like somebody, it's not that I'm hating.

[00:17:29] I just don't really vibe them.

[00:17:30] I don't be around them.

[00:17:32] And that's the same thing with haters.

[00:17:35] I don't understand that concept.

[00:17:37] If you don't like me, why are you around me?

[00:17:38] So do not get distracted out here.

[00:17:41] A banana in the tailpipe situation where they are trying to distract you because they see you on a path.

[00:17:47] They see you making certain moves, achievements, goals you already set up for yourself.

[00:17:52] And I'm gonna give y'all a tip because haters hate it when they don't have a chance to spoil the plan.

[00:17:58] Never announce your achievements till it is done.

[00:18:02] Because when people start bragging, I got this coming up.

[00:18:05] I got that.

[00:18:05] You giving people a chance to give more negative energy on an opportunity you got coming.

[00:18:11] Or they may go out their way to find a way to throw a monkey wrench into the whole situation.

[00:18:17] And that's because you made these announcements.

[00:18:19] And then, you know, everybody's about status.

[00:18:21] You look silly when you didn't made several announcements on something consistently and don't go through.

[00:18:28] That's just the way it is.

[00:18:29] So don't make no announcements until everything is wrapped up.

[00:18:33] But take a moment while you were, you know, dealing with these haters.

[00:18:38] Maintain focusing on your goals.

[00:18:40] Boost your mental health because ignoring negativity contributes to a better mental health.

[00:18:45] Reducing your stress, any anxiety that you may have, feelings of self-doubt.

[00:18:51] Create a more positive mindset.

[00:18:53] And this can actually enhance your overall well-being.

[00:18:57] And distractions can derail your productivity.

[00:19:00] It's not allowing all these negative things to interfere with your goals.

[00:19:05] And you can maintain your momentum and stay committed to your tasks more.

[00:19:09] And leading to better results because you're not giving no energy to that nonsense.

[00:19:13] And you have to learn to foster resilience because learning to navigate through negativity, it builds resilience.

[00:19:20] When you consistently choose not to be in the mix with that nonsense, the comments, the opinions that affect you,

[00:19:27] you are strengthening your ability to cope with challenges and setbacks in the future.

[00:19:32] And personally, I do not like being around people that don't like me, who don't vibe me.

[00:19:37] Always got some negativity.

[00:19:39] I'm not in that space.

[00:19:41] And you just need to set an example.

[00:19:43] You know, don't be getting distracted by the negativity.

[00:19:45] You become a role model for others.

[00:19:47] I'll never forget that interaction I said I had on social media where I was trying to be confronted in the comments.

[00:19:52] The host hit me up behind the scenes.

[00:19:54] He was like, man, that was so mature.

[00:19:59] That was so mature you.

[00:20:00] I'm like, yeah, because I'm not going to run.

[00:20:03] And if you can't have a civilized conversation, you want to do this showboat nonsense.

[00:20:08] I'm not for it.

[00:20:10] So that's how I handle it.

[00:20:11] So it could be a wrap.

[00:20:12] We're not we're not readdressing this.

[00:20:15] That's that's an example of setting boundaries with your haters.

[00:20:18] When you clearly define what behaviors are acceptable and what are not, you communicate these boundaries.

[00:20:25] Make sure that you protect your own emotional well-being.

[00:20:28] And that's the problem sometimes.

[00:20:30] You have to check people when they first try you that that's just me.

[00:20:35] You won't have to be disrespectful, but you let them know, hey, I'm not doing this.

[00:20:39] This is not me.

[00:20:40] So if we can't get that understanding, we don't need to be around each other and limit your interaction because, you know, in professional sense, I understand you have to minimize contact with these toxic as people.

[00:20:52] But when possible, just, you know, try to keep a distance.

[00:20:55] But when you're dealing with personal relationships, consider reducing the time you guys spend together and taking breaks if needed, because sometimes you may be up under each other so much that y'all may be like, oh, I need a break.

[00:21:08] Yes, everybody needs personal space.

[00:21:10] So take a moment and you got to focus more on self-care.

[00:21:13] Make sure you prioritize your mental and emotional health and engage in activities that nurture your well-being and keep you recharged.

[00:21:21] Anything you want to do.

[00:21:23] I know most of that.

[00:21:24] I play my video game.

[00:21:25] Do that for a few minutes.

[00:21:27] But then again, why don't you take a walk around the block?

[00:21:30] Why don't you go paint a picture?

[00:21:32] You know, just go try something new.

[00:21:34] Try something that, you know, might actually change your life and bring you positive vibes.

[00:21:39] Now in life, there should be an evaluation.

[00:21:42] And I'm not talking about just ourselves, but you need to take an evaluation on the relationships that you have in your life, both personal and professional.

[00:21:50] You need to see if the relationship is even worth maintaining.

[00:21:54] If it's consistently harming your well-being, that might be a sign beyond signs that like, okay, I feel so much better when you're not here.

[00:22:03] Yeah, I need to be away from you.

[00:22:04] And we also have to take a moment to practice self-reflection.

[00:22:08] We have to understand our roles in the relationship and learn from the experience.

[00:22:13] Because I know there was some stuff I know I was responsible for, I contributed to.

[00:22:18] But see, I can acknowledge that.

[00:22:20] When you learn to self-observe and do a self-reflection about yourself, take accountability, this is going to help you avoid similar toxic dynamics in the future.

[00:22:31] There are so many situations I could have avoided earlier had I went ahead and said, you know what, this vibe ain't for me.

[00:22:38] And more peace in my life is what I'm striving for.

[00:22:42] Now social media is a different beast, but you have to define your purpose clarifying why you are using social media.

[00:22:49] You know, if it's for a personal connection, or you're professionally networking, or you're just here for the shits and giggles.

[00:22:55] You know, guide your interactions.

[00:22:58] And don't be on social media all day.

[00:23:01] I've never seen, there'll be people that I wonder if they even have a job.

[00:23:07] Because they stay on live all day, not talking about nothing.

[00:23:11] Be staring at each other.

[00:23:13] I'm like, y'all, don't y'all have family?

[00:23:16] Don't you have a hobby?

[00:23:18] Anything.

[00:23:19] But they don't learn all day long.

[00:23:22] So limit your screen time.

[00:23:24] Just set, you know, specific times to limit social media.

[00:23:27] That's going to prevent you from excessively scrolling and reduce your stress.

[00:23:32] Take time to adjust your privacy settings.

[00:23:35] Review and customize privacy settings to control who can see your content and who can interact with you.

[00:23:42] And they may get in their feelings about it.

[00:23:44] But I'm like, look, I'm just, there's certain people I have to put on mute.

[00:23:48] I have to mute their stories.

[00:23:50] I have to mute their posts.

[00:23:51] Because it's a little too much for me.

[00:23:53] So I'm starting to follow more content that's going to be in my feed.

[00:23:57] Like my spirituality, positive vibes, comedy, anything about podcasting, black culture.

[00:24:03] That's the stuff I need to see on a regular basis in my feed.

[00:24:07] So I try to make sure I, you know, switch it up on what needs to be a priority.

[00:24:12] And I know sometimes you might get in your feelings when you're dealing with haters and we like to send these little subliminal messages.

[00:24:18] But what you need to do, like I'd be petty, I'm petty.

[00:24:21] Okay?

[00:24:22] I am petty.

[00:24:22] So what I do with my slick ass is that instead of directly addressing you, and I'm just going to use that as a motivational point.

[00:24:33] And I'll make a little quote on how it can address a situation without addressing a person personally.

[00:24:39] It's just a general quote that resonates with people in general.

[00:24:44] Because everybody's going through this experience.

[00:24:46] So you might feel it about you.

[00:24:48] It might be.

[00:24:48] It might be about you.

[00:24:50] But see, I'm going to use it to promote a positive message and let you know, yes, I get it.

[00:24:56] I do.

[00:24:57] Make sure you designate certain times of the day to disconnect from social media too.

[00:25:01] Because now I've gotten into a habit with my sister that, you know, we go out into the sitting area.

[00:25:06] We watch a good movie.

[00:25:08] We interact.

[00:25:08] We have fun.

[00:25:09] I have jokes.

[00:25:10] And social media is not even in the picture.

[00:25:12] And people would think you're on social media if you take the time to go ahead and schedule your content, which most of these platforms allow you to do.

[00:25:19] So just schedule a little sprinkle here, sprinkle there.

[00:25:21] So that way you can get your mental break.

[00:25:24] Because usually in the morning, that's my social media time.

[00:25:27] That's when I'm, you know, scheduling stuff or creating stuff, scheduling, posting, and I'm out.

[00:25:33] So I ain't get to be on there all day long.

[00:25:36] And on social media, you got to communicate your boundaries.

[00:25:39] Let people know your boundaries regarding online interactions, such as your response time or topics you prefer to avoid.

[00:25:47] This is one thing that antagonizes me.

[00:25:50] I see people doing their thing.

[00:25:53] I applaud y'all for doing your thing.

[00:25:55] But I'm always getting tagged.

[00:25:57] I'm always, you know, sent a reel.

[00:26:00] And I'm like, dude, this has nothing to do with me.

[00:26:02] And if you, if it was something to do with me, please definitely tag me in it.

[00:26:06] But you get people who to be hitting that share button, tag button.

[00:26:10] I mean, like they don't crack.

[00:26:15] So let's move forward and thrive without validation.

[00:26:19] Self-validation is the most crucial thing for building confidence and resilience.

[00:26:23] It means you're recognizing and appreciating yourself, your own worth and achievements, regardless of what other people say.

[00:26:32] All their little skank ass opinions don't matter.

[00:26:35] When you focus on your progress rather than seeking validation from others, you are empowering yourself to define the success on your own terms.

[00:26:44] Don't think that you have to be like somebody, be liked by somebody, just to be accepted, fit in, whatever your mission is.

[00:26:53] You have to take that shift.

[00:26:55] So please use a shift that reduces the impact of criticism and negativity, allowing you to pursue your goals with greater determination and clarity.

[00:27:04] So by valuing your own journey, celebrating small victories, you cultivate a positive self-image and you enhance your overall well-being.

[00:27:13] Ultimately, this is your self-validation.

[00:27:16] This is very crucial because it fosters a strong sense of identity and purpose.

[00:27:21] It's enabling you to navigate challenges with confidence, with grace.

[00:27:27] And I know I am trying to embed both of those.

[00:27:31] And you can celebrate yourself.

[00:27:33] There's nothing wrong with celebrating yourself, acknowledging your own achievements, creating, you know, a personal ritual that you like to do when you celebrate.

[00:27:41] You may want to have a favorite meal, take the day off, go relax, go to the spa, a hobby that you may love.

[00:27:49] Rituals are good for you.

[00:27:50] They don't require any outside approval.

[00:27:53] Do your own personal ritual.

[00:27:55] And please practice gratitude.

[00:27:57] You know, we regularly need to express gratitude for our own achievements, the journey it took for us to get there.

[00:28:03] This is shifting focus from external validation to appreciation for your own hard work and growth.

[00:28:10] Now, I would limit sharing too.

[00:28:12] You want to limit social media sharing while sharing successes on social media.

[00:28:16] It can be tempting, but you've got to consider some wins are private.

[00:28:20] Now, when it comes to my podcast, I am going to promote.

[00:28:24] But when it comes to personal victories, relationships, whatever's going on in my personal life, that is not for broadcast.

[00:28:32] This can help you avoid potential negative feedback and allow you to celebrate more in a personal space.

[00:28:38] We all need to celebrate in a personal space.

[00:28:40] Everybody don't need to know everything.

[00:28:43] And instead of seeking validation, remind yourself that your worth isn't determined by others' opinions.

[00:28:48] Focus on how far you've come, the goals you set for yourself.

[00:28:52] Use these positive affirmations and set new goals.

[00:28:55] That's the best part about it.

[00:28:57] Once you leave that distraction behind you and you've squashed one goal, you get to achieve another one that you put on your own list.

[00:29:07] So to anyone dealing with haters, this is a reminder that their negativity often reflects on their own struggles, not yours.

[00:29:14] Stay true to yourself and your goals.

[00:29:16] Don't let anyone dim your light.

[00:29:19] That is the problem.

[00:29:20] Your light is so bright that they hate.

[00:29:22] So celebrate your progress, your successes, and always prioritize your mental and emotional health.

[00:29:29] You have the power to rise above the hate and create a life that reflects your true self.

[00:29:33] Make sure you use that hate to motivate to take you to the next level.

[00:29:37] Just keep moving forward and let your journey inspire others.

[00:29:41] Thank you guys so much again for tuning in and I appreciate the new subscribers, the new listeners, the new shares.

[00:29:47] If you have a moment in your day with your mind, just give me a review.

[00:29:51] Assist it with appreciate a few more stars on whatever podcast platform you listen on and make sure you visit me on my YouTube channel.

[00:29:58] And that's where I have live interviews, interactions, comments be popping.

[00:30:02] And you can also follow me on all social media platforms at talk to me, Michelle.

[00:30:07] And if you're enjoying the content, make sure you give us a visit at buymeacoffee.com backslash talk to me, Michelle.

[00:30:13] That's where you can support the show as well as purchase merchandise.

[00:30:17] So until next episode, everybody, peace.

[00:30:21] Talk to me.