Episode 25: Donation Overload: Why Are We Always Asked to Give?

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[00:01:08] [SPEAKER_01]: find out what's going on.

[00:01:09] [SPEAKER_01]: You happen to pop in alive or you're just scrolling.

[00:01:13] [SPEAKER_01]: There is some type of fundraiser, some type of necessity, or there are people online every

[00:01:18] [SPEAKER_01]: day asking for donations.

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_01]: My personal insight and the inspiration behind this topic is because there are people online

[00:01:28] [SPEAKER_01]: and they are the same people.

[00:01:30] [SPEAKER_01]: Every time I do pop in, they're asking for money.

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_01]: It's not even a situation where their car needs repairs, they're about to be evicted.

[00:01:39] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm asking you for money just because.

[00:01:42] [SPEAKER_01]: People donate just abundantly.

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_01]: I want to explore why people are making it a habit nowadays to ask for money online.

[00:01:53] [SPEAKER_01]: All these donations, whether it's a trend that reflects broader social changes, emergency

[00:02:00] [SPEAKER_01]: circumstances, I'm just going to break it all down in this episode.

[00:02:08] [SPEAKER_01]: There is a history when it comes to asking for online donations.

[00:02:12] [SPEAKER_01]: It didn't just start.

[00:02:13] [SPEAKER_01]: It's been in effect since the mid-2000s, I'll say, because they started with GoFundMe.

[00:02:19] [SPEAKER_01]: That was established in 2010.

[00:02:22] [SPEAKER_01]: That launched for personal causes and it became a go-to site for raising money for

[00:02:27] [SPEAKER_01]: emergencies, medical expenses, life events like funerals or education.

[00:02:32] [SPEAKER_01]: But it's not utilized as much nowadays because people can go directly to their

[00:02:37] [SPEAKER_01]: social media source and ask for people to donate via cash at PayPal.

[00:02:41] [SPEAKER_01]: What have you?

[00:02:43] [SPEAKER_01]: Now Patreon, that was established in 2013.

[00:02:46] [SPEAKER_01]: That is specifically designed for creators and that allows artists,

[00:02:50] [SPEAKER_01]: musicians, podcasters and content creators to receive ongoing financial support

[00:02:55] [SPEAKER_01]: from their fans.

[00:02:55] [SPEAKER_01]: And you guys have to understand, even though I know I use Buy Me a Coffee myself,

[00:03:00] [SPEAKER_01]: that is a way to keep content coming.

[00:03:03] [SPEAKER_01]: So the money donations do have a purpose on platforms like that.

[00:03:07] [SPEAKER_01]: Some of these are subscription based models and they let users contribute regularly.

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_01]: So they help the creators from their projects without relying on traditional

[00:03:16] [SPEAKER_01]: advertising or sponsors.

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_01]: Facebook has also gotten a mix.

[00:03:20] [SPEAKER_01]: As of 2017, they integrated fundraising tools making easy for users

[00:03:25] [SPEAKER_01]: to raise money for personal causes.

[00:03:27] [SPEAKER_01]: Charities, organizations directly on that platform.

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_01]: But it really became popular with birthday fundraisers.

[00:03:34] [SPEAKER_01]: And that's when people are asking for donations, but they're not asking

[00:03:37] [SPEAKER_01]: for the donations directly.

[00:03:39] [SPEAKER_01]: They're asking you to donate to a charity on their behalf for their birthday.

[00:03:43] [SPEAKER_01]: So even though somebody might be getting married, having a birthday,

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_01]: just had a new baby, there's been a cultural shift on how we give nowadays

[00:03:53] [SPEAKER_01]: because it used to be physical gifts and physical gifts required a little time

[00:03:57] [SPEAKER_01]: consideration, making sure it's the right item.

[00:04:00] [SPEAKER_01]: If that's exactly what they wanted, we had wedding and baby shower registries.

[00:04:05] [SPEAKER_01]: They still exist, but most people are taking a new alternative

[00:04:08] [SPEAKER_01]: to getting the items requested.

[00:04:11] [SPEAKER_01]: So we've shifted from physical gifts to monetary contributions.

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_01]: It is convenient because you don't have to go out and look for this

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_01]: physical gift, even though we do have Amazon on my Amazon believer.

[00:04:23] [SPEAKER_01]: But at the same time, you have these platforms like GoFundMe, PayPal, Vimo.

[00:04:28] [SPEAKER_01]: Online platforms make it easy for people to give money instantly without

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_01]: the need for shopping.

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_01]: And I know some of us do enjoy shopping even if it's online.

[00:04:37] [SPEAKER_01]: But if you don't know exactly what a person may want or what they may need,

[00:04:41] [SPEAKER_01]: it's always cool to give a donation and donating money now is more practical.

[00:04:48] [SPEAKER_01]: It allows the people that you're giving the money to to use the funds

[00:04:51] [SPEAKER_01]: as they see fit, whether they celebrate their birthday, whether they get married

[00:04:56] [SPEAKER_01]: or they've got some other type of personal need.

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_01]: It's a flexibility that's changed how people express generosity.

[00:05:04] [SPEAKER_01]: Giving donations also gives social recognition.

[00:05:07] [SPEAKER_01]: They're made on platforms like Facebook.

[00:05:09] [SPEAKER_01]: They have those fundraisers that are often public.

[00:05:12] [SPEAKER_01]: So it allows the contributors to showcase their generosity

[00:05:15] [SPEAKER_01]: to their friends and their networks.

[00:05:17] [SPEAKER_01]: It's a public display.

[00:05:18] [SPEAKER_01]: So it does create a form of social validation when people feel compelled

[00:05:22] [SPEAKER_01]: to contribute to causes in a visual way.

[00:05:25] [SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes people would just donate for that cause.

[00:05:28] [SPEAKER_01]: Not necessarily they believe in it, but they want the acknowledgement

[00:05:31] [SPEAKER_01]: that they did donate.

[00:05:33] [SPEAKER_01]: Online donations have also created social pressure.

[00:05:37] [SPEAKER_01]: You see others contributing online.

[00:05:39] [SPEAKER_01]: It creates a little bit of a pressure to you.

[00:05:41] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, if you guys are all in the same circle,

[00:05:43] [SPEAKER_01]: we know that there's one person is in need and everybody else is donating.

[00:05:47] [SPEAKER_01]: But you, so it does put a little social pressure on us,

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_01]: especially when donations are tied to social events like birthdays

[00:05:53] [SPEAKER_01]: or fundraisers for a friend's cause.

[00:05:56] [SPEAKER_01]: The main thing I don't like about online donations,

[00:06:00] [SPEAKER_01]: it normalizes asking for financial help.

[00:06:03] [SPEAKER_01]: Now, don't get me wrong.

[00:06:05] [SPEAKER_01]: Everybody has a need and with the cost of living going up,

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_01]: I completely understand we may all fall short at times

[00:06:13] [SPEAKER_01]: when it comes to the goal that we need.

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_01]: But when you see so many people online,

[00:06:19] [SPEAKER_01]: you know, it could be for a pet surgery.

[00:06:21] [SPEAKER_01]: It could be because they want to have crab legs for dinner.

[00:06:24] [SPEAKER_01]: It is just so many things that people ask you to donate to

[00:06:28] [SPEAKER_01]: so they can go out either take care of a situation

[00:06:31] [SPEAKER_01]: or they can have a good time.

[00:06:33] [SPEAKER_01]: Now I understand if it's a medical bill,

[00:06:35] [SPEAKER_01]: I can understand if it's educational costs.

[00:06:38] [SPEAKER_01]: But the shift has led to a more open dialogue

[00:06:41] [SPEAKER_01]: around financial struggles overall.

[00:06:44] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, these platforms are giving people a non-judgmental

[00:06:48] [SPEAKER_01]: space to ask for help.

[00:06:49] [SPEAKER_01]: And at one time in our society,

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_01]: it was like shameful, very awkward for you to even have

[00:06:56] [SPEAKER_01]: the nerve to ask for any type of money.

[00:06:58] [SPEAKER_01]: But these online platforms, they've reduced the stigma.

[00:07:02] [SPEAKER_01]: People feel more comfortable seeking financial support openly,

[00:07:06] [SPEAKER_01]: often framing their requests as part of a community

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_01]: effort or a personal journey.

[00:07:10] [SPEAKER_01]: And I think more people are appreciative of monetary gifts

[00:07:14] [SPEAKER_01]: nowadays because it changes how we give,

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_01]: you know, fundraising instead of gifts.

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_01]: This has changed gift giving occasions because you can have

[00:07:24] [SPEAKER_01]: a fundraiser instead of giving gifts.

[00:07:26] [SPEAKER_01]: It's become very popular to ask for donations

[00:07:30] [SPEAKER_01]: or traditional birthday gifts, holiday gifts.

[00:07:33] [SPEAKER_01]: The shift reflects a change in values with many people

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_01]: prioritizing causes over material gifts.

[00:07:40] [SPEAKER_01]: And a lot of special occasions have gone straight digital.

[00:07:43] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, from weddings, birthdays, graduations, even funerals.

[00:07:48] [SPEAKER_01]: They're now often accommodated by online fundraisers

[00:07:52] [SPEAKER_01]: with monetary gifts becoming more common than physical items.

[00:07:56] [SPEAKER_01]: When you're asking for online donations, it can kind of leave

[00:07:59] [SPEAKER_01]: a bad taste in some people's mouth because it's an ease

[00:08:03] [SPEAKER_01]: of online giving and it's going to make people feel obligated

[00:08:07] [SPEAKER_01]: to a certain point to donate if they haven't received

[00:08:10] [SPEAKER_01]: similar support in the past, turning financial exchanges

[00:08:13] [SPEAKER_01]: into social currency of goodwill and support.

[00:08:17] [SPEAKER_01]: So I think it's like a cloud type of thing, not saying

[00:08:20] [SPEAKER_01]: that that's all the purposes for donations, but people

[00:08:23] [SPEAKER_01]: that donate because well, I gave to them too.

[00:08:26] [SPEAKER_01]: How much you give is a comparison at some point.

[00:08:28] [SPEAKER_01]: Some online fundraisers, they do build communities.

[00:08:32] [SPEAKER_01]: They do.

[00:08:33] [SPEAKER_01]: They help foster a sense of community, a collective

[00:08:37] [SPEAKER_01]: responsibility where people rally together to support each

[00:08:40] [SPEAKER_01]: other during important life events or in times of need.

[00:08:43] [SPEAKER_01]: Now you may ask, why are we giving more money than we are gifts?

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_01]: Well, first of all, it's convenient, you know, it's very convenient.

[00:08:51] [SPEAKER_01]: There is a digital way of transferring money.

[00:08:54] [SPEAKER_01]: Everybody has got at least one app that they get digital funds from.

[00:08:58] [SPEAKER_01]: And traditional gift giving, which typically involve physical gifts

[00:09:02] [SPEAKER_01]: and cards is increasingly replaced by money.

[00:09:06] [SPEAKER_01]: And there are several reasons for that.

[00:09:08] [SPEAKER_01]: It's practical and it's flexible.

[00:09:10] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, money, the contributions give the recipient

[00:09:13] [SPEAKER_01]: flexibility to choose what they truly need or want rather than

[00:09:17] [SPEAKER_01]: being limited to the giver's choice.

[00:09:19] [SPEAKER_01]: So whether it's putting the funds toward a vacation, if

[00:09:23] [SPEAKER_01]: you're trying to pay off some bills or purchasing

[00:09:25] [SPEAKER_01]: something specific, the cash offers a more practical value.

[00:09:29] [SPEAKER_01]: And you don't have to do much guesswork on this.

[00:09:31] [SPEAKER_01]: Unlike physical gifts, there is no uncertainty over whether the

[00:09:35] [SPEAKER_01]: gift will be appreciated or useful.

[00:09:38] [SPEAKER_01]: Money is always useful.

[00:09:40] [SPEAKER_01]: Gift cards are always useful.

[00:09:43] [SPEAKER_01]: So it eliminates the risk of duplicating somebody else's

[00:09:46] [SPEAKER_01]: gift issues of size, color and whatever else they requested

[00:09:51] [SPEAKER_01]: or the need for exchanges that I hate having to exchange

[00:09:55] [SPEAKER_01]: something. Please don't get nothing from Walmart because

[00:09:57] [SPEAKER_01]: you'll be in that damn return line all damn day.

[00:09:59] [SPEAKER_01]: It also offers a ease of transfer.

[00:10:02] [SPEAKER_01]: Digital payment platforms.

[00:10:04] [SPEAKER_01]: We mentioned Vimo PayPal Cash App.

[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_01]: That's instant money transfers, making the act of

[00:10:10] [SPEAKER_01]: gifting fast, efficient and there's no shipping delays

[00:10:13] [SPEAKER_01]: or wrapping presents.

[00:10:15] [SPEAKER_01]: And you are logistic free.

[00:10:17] [SPEAKER_01]: There's no hassles in that department.

[00:10:19] [SPEAKER_01]: When you are giving via cash app or some type of digital

[00:10:23] [SPEAKER_01]: transfer, you don't have to worry about shopping,

[00:10:26] [SPEAKER_01]: packaging or mailing the gifts.

[00:10:29] [SPEAKER_01]: If the recipients don't have the time to return the item

[00:10:32] [SPEAKER_01]: or clutter, it's just a lot easier just to send some money.

[00:10:37] [SPEAKER_01]: Now, social media has definitely played a big role when

[00:10:39] [SPEAKER_01]: it comes to fundraisers platforms like Facebook and

[00:10:42] [SPEAKER_01]: Instagram go from me.

[00:10:44] [SPEAKER_01]: They have no lies asking for money instead of physical

[00:10:47] [SPEAKER_01]: gifts. It's become common for people to set up

[00:10:49] [SPEAKER_01]: donation pages for their birthdays, their weddings

[00:10:52] [SPEAKER_01]: or personal milestones, often benefiting a charity

[00:10:56] [SPEAKER_01]: or a personal cause.

[00:10:58] [SPEAKER_01]: Now, when people see others requesting donations instead

[00:11:01] [SPEAKER_01]: of gifts, it encourages them to do the same thing,

[00:11:04] [SPEAKER_01]: amplifying the trend of monetary contributions

[00:11:06] [SPEAKER_01]: over traditional presents.

[00:11:09] [SPEAKER_01]: How has digital exchange of money changed our society?

[00:11:13] [SPEAKER_01]: Well, there's a number of ways it has.

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Lifestyles, they grow in popularity.

[00:11:19] [SPEAKER_01]: People are moving away from accounting material goods

[00:11:22] [SPEAKER_01]: instead of favor experiences, savings, charity,

[00:11:26] [SPEAKER_01]: monetary gifts aligned with all these values and they

[00:11:29] [SPEAKER_01]: reduce waste and clutter.

[00:11:31] [SPEAKER_01]: Also, if you want to donate to a charity, many now

[00:11:34] [SPEAKER_01]: request charitable donations in their name rather than

[00:11:36] [SPEAKER_01]: receiving personal gifts that reflects a shift

[00:11:40] [SPEAKER_01]: in the priorities not always relying on material

[00:11:43] [SPEAKER_01]: presence, but they can support causes with that

[00:11:46] [SPEAKER_01]: money instead of getting a gift.

[00:11:47] [SPEAKER_01]: Now, I know there are some people out there that do

[00:11:49] [SPEAKER_01]: need money for certain causes, certain life situations,

[00:11:53] [SPEAKER_01]: but it also adds financial pressure.

[00:11:56] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, with the cost of living, you got student debt

[00:12:00] [SPEAKER_01]: and that's made monetary gifts more appealing,

[00:12:03] [SPEAKER_01]: especially for the younger generations.

[00:12:06] [SPEAKER_01]: And it's normal nowadays to receive money for your

[00:12:09] [SPEAKER_01]: birthday, your weddings or other occasions to help

[00:12:12] [SPEAKER_01]: people manage expenses or save for future goals.

[00:12:15] [SPEAKER_01]: One thing that is a benefit if you donate online,

[00:12:20] [SPEAKER_01]: that you control the contribution.

[00:12:23] [SPEAKER_01]: So you have more control over how much you give

[00:12:26] [SPEAKER_01]: and it's avoiding the awkwardness of gift comparisons.

[00:12:30] [SPEAKER_01]: Because I remember back in the day, you all be at

[00:12:32] [SPEAKER_01]: the kids birthday party, everybody brought physical

[00:12:35] [SPEAKER_01]: gifts, but in the background, the adults were

[00:12:37] [SPEAKER_01]: looking at who brought what for their child

[00:12:40] [SPEAKER_01]: and they would do a little comparison list.

[00:12:42] [SPEAKER_01]: You see that cheap shit they brought in here

[00:12:43] [SPEAKER_01]: for my baby? Yeah, they do that shit.

[00:12:46] [SPEAKER_01]: So you don't have to worry about none of that when

[00:12:48] [SPEAKER_01]: it comes just giving some money.

[00:12:50] [SPEAKER_01]: Online donations have definitely given us an

[00:12:53] [SPEAKER_01]: evolution of the adequate we have because it's

[00:12:55] [SPEAKER_01]: more socially accepted.

[00:12:57] [SPEAKER_01]: Because back in the day, you know, it was seen as

[00:12:59] [SPEAKER_01]: tacky, downright despicable for you to even ask

[00:13:03] [SPEAKER_01]: for money for anything regardless of your situation.

[00:13:06] [SPEAKER_01]: But there's a growing acceptance of money

[00:13:09] [SPEAKER_01]: contributions, reflecting changing adequate norms

[00:13:12] [SPEAKER_01]: that people openly expressed that financial

[00:13:15] [SPEAKER_01]: support is more helpful than getting something

[00:13:17] [SPEAKER_01]: materialistic.

[00:13:19] [SPEAKER_01]: So one of the reasons behind this trend, everybody

[00:13:22] [SPEAKER_01]: asking for online donations.

[00:13:24] [SPEAKER_01]: It's my birthday. It's a wedding. I just had a baby.

[00:13:26] [SPEAKER_01]: Well, number one, it does provide convenience.

[00:13:29] [SPEAKER_01]: You have donations coming in.

[00:13:32] [SPEAKER_01]: It's more traditional nowadays than just going

[00:13:34] [SPEAKER_01]: out and buying a gift.

[00:13:36] [SPEAKER_01]: And many people use these platforms to

[00:13:38] [SPEAKER_01]: relieve personal financial struggles.

[00:13:40] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, it may include medical bills,

[00:13:42] [SPEAKER_01]: education, housing, whatever life is

[00:13:45] [SPEAKER_01]: throwing at you.

[00:13:46] [SPEAKER_01]: We're also in a generosity culture when it

[00:13:49] [SPEAKER_01]: comes to online given because it's a rise

[00:13:52] [SPEAKER_01]: of culture where people feel it's more comfortable

[00:13:55] [SPEAKER_01]: on their networks.

[00:13:56] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to ask y'all for some financial help

[00:13:58] [SPEAKER_01]: and people often enjoy being able to contribute.

[00:14:01] [SPEAKER_01]: But my thing about it is you have to be

[00:14:03] [SPEAKER_01]: leery of that too. We'll get to that in a moment.

[00:14:05] [SPEAKER_01]: But don't think that online donations do not

[00:14:09] [SPEAKER_01]: come with psychological and emotional factors

[00:14:11] [SPEAKER_01]: because they can also cause empathy and guilt.

[00:14:15] [SPEAKER_01]: Seeing someone online asking for donations

[00:14:18] [SPEAKER_01]: and depending on what the situation may be,

[00:14:21] [SPEAKER_01]: it tugs on your emotional strings.

[00:14:24] [SPEAKER_01]: And when it gets to that emotional portion of you,

[00:14:27] [SPEAKER_01]: that's like, oh my God, I now feel willing to donate.

[00:14:31] [SPEAKER_01]: I really want to help this person.

[00:14:33] [SPEAKER_01]: And there's also social media marketing

[00:14:35] [SPEAKER_01]: when it comes to getting money online.

[00:14:37] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I've seen people put up, I'm short ten dollars.

[00:14:41] [SPEAKER_01]: Can you cash at me?

[00:14:42] [SPEAKER_01]: It's my birthday. Can you cash at me?

[00:14:45] [SPEAKER_01]: It's just like a promotion.

[00:14:47] [SPEAKER_01]: They don't even have to be live.

[00:14:48] [SPEAKER_01]: They could just put up a post and put up their calls

[00:14:51] [SPEAKER_01]: and put their cash at PayPal, whatever up

[00:14:53] [SPEAKER_01]: and start getting donations.

[00:14:56] [SPEAKER_01]: But there's also a stigma for people that donate

[00:14:59] [SPEAKER_01]: or feel obligated.

[00:15:00] [SPEAKER_01]: It's called FOMO and that's short for fear of missing out.

[00:15:04] [SPEAKER_01]: People who contribute out of fear of missing out

[00:15:07] [SPEAKER_01]: on being part of a cause or a special event.

[00:15:09] [SPEAKER_01]: And some people play on it very well.

[00:15:12] [SPEAKER_01]: If you don't donate, you ain't shit.

[00:15:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Constant requests for donations can create feelings

[00:15:20] [SPEAKER_01]: of overwhelming and financial strain

[00:15:22] [SPEAKER_01]: for individuals in several ways.

[00:15:24] [SPEAKER_01]: Number one, if you go request money frequently,

[00:15:28] [SPEAKER_01]: you know, with the rise of these platforms,

[00:15:30] [SPEAKER_01]: social media people are often bummed,

[00:15:33] [SPEAKER_01]: guarded with requests to donate to various causes,

[00:15:36] [SPEAKER_01]: whether it's for the medical bills, your personal hardships

[00:15:40] [SPEAKER_01]: or charity events.

[00:15:42] [SPEAKER_01]: This consistent influx can lead to donation fatigue

[00:15:46] [SPEAKER_01]: where individuals feel emotionally and financially exhausted

[00:15:49] [SPEAKER_01]: from giving. I mean, even if it's not money,

[00:15:52] [SPEAKER_01]: have you ever been in a situation where you were just given

[00:15:54] [SPEAKER_01]: so much of yourself, your time and when you're done,

[00:15:58] [SPEAKER_01]: you're drained?

[00:15:59] [SPEAKER_01]: It's the same thing with financial donations.

[00:16:03] [SPEAKER_01]: And people have to realize that that we're going through

[00:16:05] [SPEAKER_01]: financial pressure and strain.

[00:16:07] [SPEAKER_01]: We may have limited resources, you know, you may want to help

[00:16:10] [SPEAKER_01]: and you have the good intention of helping,

[00:16:13] [SPEAKER_01]: but there's always a constant pressure to donate

[00:16:16] [SPEAKER_01]: even when it's in small amounts.

[00:16:18] [SPEAKER_01]: If you look back on somebody you've consistently donated to,

[00:16:22] [SPEAKER_01]: that adds up over time.

[00:16:25] [SPEAKER_01]: And people are already feeling financially drained,

[00:16:28] [SPEAKER_01]: you know, especially when they're having challenges

[00:16:30] [SPEAKER_01]: with their own finances and then you see the same person

[00:16:33] [SPEAKER_01]: that's always asking for money.

[00:16:36] [SPEAKER_01]: Also experiencing guilt and obligation social media platforms,

[00:16:40] [SPEAKER_01]: they make donations visible, increasing feelings of guilt

[00:16:43] [SPEAKER_01]: if someone doesn't contribute.

[00:16:45] [SPEAKER_01]: Now that can create an obligation to give even when

[00:16:48] [SPEAKER_01]: you can't afford it.

[00:16:50] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, you're doing that only because you're in fear

[00:16:53] [SPEAKER_01]: of being judged or you're not being supportive.

[00:16:56] [SPEAKER_01]: Man, kick rocks on that one.

[00:16:58] [SPEAKER_01]: Emotional tolls also include empathy overload.

[00:17:03] [SPEAKER_01]: Have you ever had an empathy overload?

[00:17:06] [SPEAKER_01]: That's what you're being exposed to consistent stories

[00:17:09] [SPEAKER_01]: of hardship, consistent financial need.

[00:17:13] [SPEAKER_01]: That's emotionally draining.

[00:17:15] [SPEAKER_01]: And over time, as you're supporting someone's financial

[00:17:18] [SPEAKER_01]: cause, you may start to feel overwhelmed.

[00:17:20] [SPEAKER_01]: And I think over time that people that donate on a regular basis,

[00:17:23] [SPEAKER_01]: they start to feel overwhelmed because there's so many people

[00:17:28] [SPEAKER_01]: in need and you automatically, if you realize it or not,

[00:17:32] [SPEAKER_01]: become emotionally desensitized.

[00:17:35] [SPEAKER_01]: And some people may fall for that social pressure.

[00:17:38] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, they see people contribute to a fundraiser or

[00:17:40] [SPEAKER_01]: a cause that can be a social pressure for you

[00:17:43] [SPEAKER_01]: because everybody's aware of the cause, but you're the only

[00:17:46] [SPEAKER_01]: one that hadn't donated.

[00:17:47] [SPEAKER_01]: The fear of missing out on appearing unsupportive,

[00:17:51] [SPEAKER_01]: that can lead to individuals making contributions.

[00:17:53] [SPEAKER_01]: Even when they're reluctant or financially stressed.

[00:17:56] [SPEAKER_01]: That is something I don't have a problem with because if there's

[00:18:00] [SPEAKER_01]: a cause in my financial situation, it's not at a point where I can donate.

[00:18:04] [SPEAKER_01]: Or I'm just not really convinced.

[00:18:07] [SPEAKER_01]: That's just me.

[00:18:08] [SPEAKER_01]: If I'm not convinced that there is really a cause and a purpose

[00:18:11] [SPEAKER_01]: for me to even give you any of my hard earned money,

[00:18:14] [SPEAKER_01]: it's going to stay right in my bank account.

[00:18:16] [SPEAKER_01]: And let's clear the lines.

[00:18:18] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I think there's a big blur when it comes to boundaries

[00:18:21] [SPEAKER_01]: because you have two different type of causes.

[00:18:24] [SPEAKER_01]: You have the personal type of cause and a charitable cause.

[00:18:28] [SPEAKER_01]: So you may have personal fundraisers for birthdays, weddings,

[00:18:33] [SPEAKER_01]: medical expenses.

[00:18:34] [SPEAKER_01]: There's a blur between a traditional charitable

[00:18:36] [SPEAKER_01]: given and personal gift giving.

[00:18:39] [SPEAKER_01]: You ever see Judge Judy when they, you know, she gets a couple

[00:18:41] [SPEAKER_01]: that used to live together?

[00:18:43] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, she's like, OK, where's the paperwork at?

[00:18:46] [SPEAKER_01]: Was that personal or was it a gift?

[00:18:48] [SPEAKER_01]: Let's get to the heart of the matter.

[00:18:50] [SPEAKER_01]: As more people request donations for personal milestones,

[00:18:53] [SPEAKER_01]: it can create an unspoken expectation that friends

[00:18:55] [SPEAKER_01]: and family reciprocate when they ask for financial support

[00:18:59] [SPEAKER_01]: in the future.

[00:19:00] [SPEAKER_01]: So please believe if you have a situation come up

[00:19:02] [SPEAKER_01]: in the near future and you do not donate to whoever's cause,

[00:19:06] [SPEAKER_01]: they'll bring it up and rub it in your face like, OK,

[00:19:08] [SPEAKER_01]: when I was going through that, I didn't get nothing from you.

[00:19:11] [SPEAKER_01]: Now, when you receive these consistent requests,

[00:19:14] [SPEAKER_01]: some people may make you feel like, you know,

[00:19:17] [SPEAKER_01]: they're losing control over how they allocate their finances.

[00:19:20] [SPEAKER_01]: And in some cases, that's true.

[00:19:22] [SPEAKER_01]: There's a social pressure to give.

[00:19:25] [SPEAKER_01]: It may feel less like a choice and more like an obligation.

[00:19:29] [SPEAKER_01]: And you shouldn't feel obligated to a situation

[00:19:31] [SPEAKER_01]: you did not number one create or had a chance

[00:19:34] [SPEAKER_01]: to even investigate a little bit more.

[00:19:37] [SPEAKER_01]: Now, let me bring up being desensitized.

[00:19:39] [SPEAKER_01]: We get desensitized on a lot of things in society,

[00:19:42] [SPEAKER_01]: because I think we have an overload on too much,

[00:19:44] [SPEAKER_01]: especially when it comes to people always asking for money.

[00:19:47] [SPEAKER_01]: The more frequently people are asked for donations,

[00:19:50] [SPEAKER_01]: the less likely they may have respond positively.

[00:19:53] [SPEAKER_01]: They're ignoring or dismissing them

[00:19:55] [SPEAKER_01]: because they feel like they're overwhelmed

[00:19:56] [SPEAKER_01]: by how many people are online asking for money.

[00:20:00] [SPEAKER_01]: And if you are one that is consistently given,

[00:20:03] [SPEAKER_01]: that could possibly lead to feel like their contributions

[00:20:05] [SPEAKER_01]: are making less of an impact.

[00:20:07] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I've seen several examples of people

[00:20:09] [SPEAKER_01]: that are always asking for money online.

[00:20:11] [SPEAKER_01]: But when they're back online, the situation is not better.

[00:20:15] [SPEAKER_01]: And they're always asking for more money.

[00:20:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Consistent donations also lead to straining personal relationships.

[00:20:21] [SPEAKER_01]: The constant donation requests,

[00:20:23] [SPEAKER_01]: especially from your friends and family,

[00:20:26] [SPEAKER_01]: that's going to cause a lot of tension in your relationship.

[00:20:30] [SPEAKER_01]: And if you're one to make frequent small donations

[00:20:32] [SPEAKER_01]: to various fundraisers,

[00:20:34] [SPEAKER_01]: that can reduce the capacity

[00:20:36] [SPEAKER_01]: to make more significant contributions

[00:20:38] [SPEAKER_01]: to causes that matter to you most.

[00:20:41] [SPEAKER_01]: You can't always donate to something

[00:20:44] [SPEAKER_01]: if you're into helping animals, children, elderly,

[00:20:46] [SPEAKER_01]: whatever your cause of your heart is.

[00:20:49] [SPEAKER_01]: How can you constantly give to that organization

[00:20:52] [SPEAKER_01]: if you have somebody constantly online

[00:20:54] [SPEAKER_01]: that always has a financial situation?

[00:20:58] [SPEAKER_01]: Please be aware that there are plenty

[00:21:01] [SPEAKER_01]: of fake and fraudulent online fundraisers.

[00:21:04] [SPEAKER_01]: And usually what they do is they seek your sympathy.

[00:21:07] [SPEAKER_01]: They create these fake fundraisers

[00:21:10] [SPEAKER_01]: based on this fabricated story of a tragedy

[00:21:12] [SPEAKER_01]: or hardship to play on our empathy.

[00:21:16] [SPEAKER_01]: You also have impersonators online.

[00:21:19] [SPEAKER_01]: I know I've gotten all these different messages online.

[00:21:24] [SPEAKER_01]: And one claims to be Denzel Washington,

[00:21:27] [SPEAKER_01]: another claims to be this person.

[00:21:30] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, OK, none of these celebrities know me personally.

[00:21:33] [SPEAKER_01]: Why would they reach out to me, especially on social media?

[00:21:36] [SPEAKER_01]: If I know them like that, they have my phone number.

[00:21:39] [SPEAKER_01]: But a lot of people fall for this.

[00:21:41] [SPEAKER_01]: I've seen so many women, particularly on shows like Dr. Phil

[00:21:47] [SPEAKER_01]: and they swore up and down.

[00:21:48] [SPEAKER_01]: They were talking to Tyler Perry

[00:21:50] [SPEAKER_01]: and they had to send Tyler Perry some money that, like I said.

[00:21:56] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, when I look at them, I feel bad.

[00:21:58] [SPEAKER_01]: But then again, I don't because when you look at Tyler Perry,

[00:22:02] [SPEAKER_01]: why would he be online asking for money

[00:22:04] [SPEAKER_01]: when he got a mansion, a whole movie studio on some land?

[00:22:10] [SPEAKER_01]: Come on now.

[00:22:11] [SPEAKER_01]: But they get away with this all the time.

[00:22:13] [SPEAKER_01]: People will use stolen pictures.

[00:22:16] [SPEAKER_01]: They also create fake profiles just to make fundraising appear like this legit.

[00:22:21] [SPEAKER_01]: Please check the information before you donate to anything

[00:22:24] [SPEAKER_01]: because there's lots of false information out there.

[00:22:27] [SPEAKER_01]: Most cases, fundraisers present a situation that has some type of truth.

[00:22:31] [SPEAKER_01]: But there are some people that will exaggerate or misrepresent the facts

[00:22:35] [SPEAKER_01]: of the situation like an individual may overstate their financial hardship

[00:22:40] [SPEAKER_01]: for health condition and the donations come in

[00:22:44] [SPEAKER_01]: and it's actually more than they actually need for the situation.

[00:22:47] [SPEAKER_01]: You can also check for the lack of accountability and transparency

[00:22:51] [SPEAKER_01]: if there is no oversight, unlike, you know, registered nonprofits,

[00:22:55] [SPEAKER_01]: personal fundraisers on platforms like GoFundMe or Facebook.

[00:22:59] [SPEAKER_01]: They lack formal oversight.

[00:23:01] [SPEAKER_01]: This means that there is often no independent verification.

[00:23:06] [SPEAKER_01]: That's not going to ensure that your funds are being used as they're supposed to be.

[00:23:10] [SPEAKER_01]: And if you're donating to a cause that has no obligation to report,

[00:23:15] [SPEAKER_01]: no, that's a no go because in many cases,

[00:23:17] [SPEAKER_01]: fundraisers are not required to provide donors with a report

[00:23:21] [SPEAKER_01]: or update on how the money was spent.

[00:23:24] [SPEAKER_01]: And that's creating lack of transparency.

[00:23:26] [SPEAKER_01]: Donors have no way of knowing whether their contributions made a difference

[00:23:30] [SPEAKER_01]: or if the funds were used appropriately.

[00:23:32] [SPEAKER_01]: I've seen so many cases with that.

[00:23:35] [SPEAKER_01]: I'll give you a prime example.

[00:23:37] [SPEAKER_01]: There was a girl not that long ago

[00:23:39] [SPEAKER_01]: that said she was assaulted by a bunch of men with a brick to her face.

[00:23:44] [SPEAKER_01]: And this effort went live from the emergency room.

[00:23:48] [SPEAKER_01]: Her face is all on swole on one side.

[00:23:50] [SPEAKER_01]: She crying, all liquid they did and there was men around.

[00:23:53] [SPEAKER_01]: They didn't help me.

[00:23:54] [SPEAKER_01]: When everybody scratched the surface, she done it before.

[00:23:58] [SPEAKER_01]: She done it several times.

[00:24:00] [SPEAKER_01]: She would say there was a assault on her and was set up a gold

[00:24:04] [SPEAKER_01]: fund me page and would be racket in so much money.

[00:24:08] [SPEAKER_01]: And then she finally got busted on that last one.

[00:24:11] [SPEAKER_01]: But people make a career out of doing that

[00:24:13] [SPEAKER_01]: because they tugging at emotional strings.

[00:24:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Platforms like Patreon or Kickstarter, this is where donors,

[00:24:20] [SPEAKER_01]: their promised gifts or products in exchange for a financial contribution.

[00:24:25] [SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes people can be manipulated like that.

[00:24:28] [SPEAKER_01]: Organizers will collect all this money without ever delivering

[00:24:31] [SPEAKER_01]: the promised goods, the services, so they leave the donors empty handed.

[00:24:37] [SPEAKER_01]: You have to make sure that people on these online platforms

[00:24:40] [SPEAKER_01]: that are asking for financial support, especially for medical expenses,

[00:24:43] [SPEAKER_01]: life events and even birthdays, make sure everything's legit

[00:24:46] [SPEAKER_01]: and how often are they asking for money?

[00:24:48] [SPEAKER_01]: Because if I just see you on live every day and I see your cash app,

[00:24:52] [SPEAKER_01]: PayPal, however form of payment you take, and what are you doing to earn this money?

[00:24:58] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you know, me watching you online, a lot of people online,

[00:25:01] [SPEAKER_01]: but a lot of people just constantly come online,

[00:25:05] [SPEAKER_01]: then they cash out asking for money and then not improving themselves.

[00:25:08] [SPEAKER_01]: And life has not gotten any better.

[00:25:11] [SPEAKER_01]: And I've seen it and I'm like, OK,

[00:25:12] [SPEAKER_01]: you definitely won't be getting one red cent of mine.

[00:25:15] [SPEAKER_01]: But my perspective on asking for money online,

[00:25:17] [SPEAKER_01]: like I said, special occasions that people feel like being generous

[00:25:21] [SPEAKER_01]: because it might be your special day, whether it be birthday, wedding.

[00:25:25] [SPEAKER_01]: But you also have to keep in mind that people have their own financial

[00:25:28] [SPEAKER_01]: commitments they have to take care of themselves.

[00:25:31] [SPEAKER_01]: Everybody cannot be online and donate to you every time you have your cash app up.

[00:25:36] [SPEAKER_01]: So make sure you guys investigate before you start digging

[00:25:39] [SPEAKER_01]: in your wallet and giving out money.

[00:25:41] [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you guys again for tuning into another episode.

[00:25:43] [SPEAKER_01]: I encourage you guys to go to YouTube and subscribe to my YouTube channel.

[00:25:48] [SPEAKER_01]: That is where we have live interviews, good comments.

[00:25:51] [SPEAKER_01]: I can also be found on all social media platforms at Talk To Me Michelle.

[00:25:55] [SPEAKER_01]: Hey, if you guys like the show,

[00:25:57] [SPEAKER_01]: I would appreciate it if you give me a great review on your favorite podcast platform.

[00:26:01] [SPEAKER_01]: You can also leave me some feedback on what you think about the show

[00:26:05] [SPEAKER_01]: or some topic suggestions.

[00:26:09] [SPEAKER_01]: 832-463-0525.

[00:26:12] [SPEAKER_01]: So until next episode, everybody, peace.