Epsode 13 Maria Ushery Birthing Room Podcast

[00:00:00] Welcome, welcome, welcome back to The Birthing Room, everyone. Welcome back. We are so glad that you have joined us again. My name is Dr. Lorena Whitehead. I am the host of The Birthing Room. I want to just take some time out to say thank you for tuning into The Birthing Room.

[00:00:17] Don't you forget that you can also listen to us on all audio, in the audio version, on all platforms, all major podcast platforms. And we are also hosted on NBG Podcast Network. I'm gonna get that right one day. Be sure to subscribe to our email and also subscribe to our YouTube page so you don't miss any episodes. So without further ado, we're gonna get right into it. I got that right out of the way early, everybody.

[00:00:44] So I can get into it, introduce my guest. I'm so excited. We have Apostle Maria here. And she's just a real one. Just a real one. And I'm so, so, so excited to have a conversation with her. Because we've never actually had a candid conversation, but I can see the glory all over her. So I know when you see a level of anointing that you rarely see, you know there's a story and a testimony behind it that's gonna help us and set us free.

[00:01:10] So I want you all to grab your coffee, grab your tea, go ahead and grab your box of tissues, whatever you need, because I feel deliverance in the air. And the Lord wants to set someone free on today. So I just want y'all to go ahead and get comfortable. And while you're getting comfortable, I'm gonna go ahead and put y'all in the water.

[00:01:33] Okay, okay. We are back. We are back. So I don't read resumes and I probably should read a bio every now and again so people can know. But I want you all to check in down below and you can find all of Apostle Maria Ushery's information and also her contact information. We want to invite her out to come speak somewhere. Or if you have questions after this, please leave them in the comments so that she can get back with you and answer any questions. And I will also connect you with her if she misses any comments. Okay.

[00:02:03] So I brought you in on today. You're like, why'd she pick me? So I told you last season, we had season one and I was praying about who the Lord was gonna, you know, have me to bring on. Because when God gave me this vision, I wrote a book and it's called actually The Birthing Room. In this book, it says 10 strategies to birthing a new season. Because the Lord had birthed me into a new season. And there are strategies on how to birth into a new season, right?

[00:02:28] And a lot of times we miss it because we don't realize that what we're going through is birthing us into something greater. And we all, and I always say this on probably every podcast, nobody wants to hear, oh, what you're going through, not for use for the help of somebody else. Nobody ever wants to hear that. But the Lord doesn't go through it by themselves, right? Right. So, but you are so humble. You are so, I won't say private, but you, but you not, no nonsense.

[00:02:58] Does that make sense? You old school saved, you know, real for real saved. And I like to think that that's what I am also. So I see myself and I'm like, you know what? You know, I just don't see you as, as you are someone that I feel like if I came to you and talked to you, whatever I say, it's going to stay with you. Amen. It's going to stay right there. You know, the true heart of the prophet, you know, the Lord can trust the intercessor.

[00:03:24] So I, and I feel that, you know, and I just to watch you just blossom and watch you move in such excellence. And even those that are under you and watch how they move in such excellence. I am just, I just admire you and I just love you. So thank you for coming on. So without further ado, you can go ahead and introduce yourself and tell us all about yourself and what we're going to talk about today. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me on the Birthing Room Podcast. I'm excited to be here on this evening.

[00:03:51] Listen, I'm just excited to see what God's going to do while we're here tonight. My name is Apostle Maria Ushery. I am a Delaware native. I am the mother of three children and I have two beautiful granddaughters, grandgirls. I love them so much. I'm so grateful for what the father is doing in and through my life. I am the senior pastor and founder of a church called Rebuilders Faith Ministries. We turn five next month and I'm excited on how the father has allowed us to gloom and bloom, gloom and bloom.

[00:04:20] Because before you can bloom, there's a little bit gloom and that takes place. But I'm just so grateful. I am a recent author. I just wrote two books back in 2023. One is called The Believer's Decree, which is actually a prompt journal. The Believer's Decree. And the book name is Refined for Purpose. And today I want to touch on that book title, Refined for Purpose. Talk about how I overcame the spirit of rejection. Yes, help us.

[00:04:48] Listen, I dealt with the spirit of rejection as a young child. I grew up in the inner city, Wilmington, Delaware, Riverside Projects, to be exact. I grew up in the hood, right? You know me. Did we know each other when growing up? I don't remember. I don't know. Okay, okay. I went to William Penn High School, George Reed Middle School. Listen, I was out there growing up as a child with a mother who used crack. So my mom got high.

[00:05:16] Like most of our parents that lived in Riverside in the projects in poverty-stricken areas, my mother got high for the majority part of my life. And of course, with a mother that has an addiction, you're not really getting the attention that you need to get, right? You're just managing life, right? My father left my mother when I probably was like, I guess, two or three years old or something like that. However, I still maintain contact and relationship with my aunts and my cousins and my uncles on my father's side.

[00:05:42] But there's something to say when a little girl does not have her biological daddy there. You're beginning to grow up having these issues with rejection, right? You have these issues with people coming into your life and people leaving your life or people not wanting. You're feeling like you're being thrown away. Or sometimes there was times that I also felt like nobody wanted me, right? So there was so much I had to go through. And even growing up as an adult, I was a teenage mother. I had both of my kids when I was in high school. I was pregnant in 11th and then pregnant in 12th grade.

[00:06:12] My kids are literally the same age for like two weeks. Oh, Irish twins. Yes, yes, yes. Irish twins, Rashaun and Rashauna. So I went through so much growing up, right? And people often see where you are in your present, but they have no idea of what you had to go through during the gloomy days of your life, right? I went through some stuff, you know, being rejected, not liking myself, low self-esteem. I'm thinking that I was ugly.

[00:06:41] I was the worst, like all these things. So people were coming to your life. I had kids early. So, you know, I had a boyfriend. And then one day he said he didn't want me. So there goes that spirit of rejection popping its head up with me not even noticing it. Various circles, I feel like everyone in these particular circles, they want to talk to everybody but you, right? They want to engage with everyone but you. But oftentimes when you're going through things like this, you don't know the root of that thing. You just know that. You're just thinking in your mind, oh, they don't want nothing to do with me.

[00:07:10] Or, you know, is this attractive? Right. But there's a seed. And the seed was rejection. And I had to deal with that thing throughout life. I did not overcome it once I gave my life to Christ. It was still there. Because I still struggled with, you know, people accepting me. So I had to work through that thing. I had to go through deliverance and allow the Lord to deliver me from the spirit of rejection. I would get into relationships growing up, you know, going throughout life in my adulthood.

[00:07:40] And they would not last because I was dealing with the spirit of rejection. And the spirit of rejection also comes with the spirit of accusation. So because you have that spirit of rejection, you're always accusing someone, you know. Or doing something. Listen. When you talk about the root of a thing, it always has branches. So it's not just the seed of it. It's, you know, there's the root. You know, roots, they spread out, right? They sprout out.

[00:08:07] But the seed was rejection. But then there came accusation connected. There came low self-esteem connected to that. That there was so much stuff, you know, feeling bad about yourself. Wanting to be a people pleaser because of that thing called rejection. And listen, I grew up, I was probably in my late 30s when I allowed the father to deliver me from that thing. How did you get delivered? Tell us how you got delivered from that. Say it again, sis.

[00:08:36] Tell us how you got delivered from that. Because a lot of this feels better. Because I was sick of accusing people of things that they were not doing. Mm-hmm. Right? So I said, now this is crazy. Like, it can't be every relationship that I engage in and get into with someone that is them. Something's not right here. Yeah. And of course, the word is a mirror if you will allow it to do its job. Yes.

[00:09:00] And the more that you read the word of God, these things, and the more that you read the word of God, and the more that you find yourself in a secret place of the most high, these things cannot hide. No. And what happens is we're in the word of God. We're reading it, but we're not allowing it to be our reflection. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So one day I said, you know what? I'm tired of this. I'm tired of the mental anguish. Yes. I'm tired of the mental torment and torture. And I remind you, I am still living life.

[00:09:29] I'm a director of human resources at a local place in Delaware. I'm living life. I'm doing my thing, right? Yes. My kids, good, but there was a seed in there. So people see the glory, but they have no idea of the story or the struggle. No idea. So I made a conscious decision in my later, my late thirties to say, you know, I got to deal with this thing.

[00:09:54] But that wasn't the end because after I was delivered from rejection and accusation and those things, there was something else that was in me called the spirit of, there was perfectionism. So now I'm delivered from rejection. Getting delivered today. Delivered from people, right? But then there was something called perfectionism, where I felt like everything had to be perfect. Perfect.

[00:10:23] I could not go outside without being perfect, right? I could not come downstairs in my own house without having my studs on, having some lip gloss on, right? You know, being all put together because I felt like I always had to show up perfectly. Perfect. I didn't get delivered from that until 2023. It's 2025.

[00:10:49] So yes, the pastor, the intercessor. Yes. Yes. Yes. The apostle. The woman of God, the life coach, the Christian counselor, right? The HR professional. You name it. Had a struggle. And oftentimes we're taught how to continue on and die. It's like, you know, we're pushed to keep on going while you're dying. While you're dying.

[00:11:20] And you're being depleted every day because you're putting on a mask. Because it was told to you that you got to keep on pushing in spite of. But at some point in our lives, we have to take a step back, chill out and do some self-reflecting. You know, they used to say back in the day, check yourself before you wreck yourself.

[00:11:44] And we have to take that moment to really check ourselves before we not just wreck ourselves, but wreck those that are assigned to our voice. That's it right there. Trying to be tough Tony. So I'm dealing with perfectionism and I'm still struggling in this area back in 2023. And the Lord sent me on this, this voyager, this voyage, right? So he had me to walk around the track every day. And this is. I remember that.

[00:12:13] I walked around the track every day, right? And he had me to go on social media. Remind you, I'm still struggling with showing up, not being all the way together. So I would leave my house every morning and I would go down to the track and I will walk around the track. Baseball hat on. I watched you. All the things, right? And all the ways that I would never show up. I would never show up on camera like that. So I'm like, you want me, father, to get on camera and say a message to these people every day looking like this.

[00:12:43] Like, yeah, but I'm sweating. So what? Show up. You had your hat on. You had a makeup on. You look beautiful. No lashes. Nothing. I'd go nowhere without my lashes and my MAC makeup. Even if it's to the gym. Listen. So. You wear your makeup to the gym too? I have. I have. Perfectionism. Remember. You got to be perfect. Yeah.

[00:13:13] And here. But here was shattered. Yes. Yes. So I'm going on track and I'm giving these messages every day to the world looking like I was looking. And as I'm walking every day around this track, he begins to heal me and pull back the layers. Yes. And I was faithful six days a week, except for I would go every day, Monday through Saturday. I would go and I would release a word of encouragement. I would go.

[00:13:43] I would go. And it was only so heavy that I had to show up. Yes. What I did not realize was that I was being. See, that was the deliverance I was going through. Listen. We oftentimes get it so twisted that the deliverance have to take place in the church. In the church. It has to take place with a deliverance minister, which that is necessary. But this particular season of my life, there was no church people. There was no pulpit. There was no altar. Right.

[00:14:12] There was none of that stuff. There was no oil, anointed oil. There was no listen. There was nobody to pray the prayer of faith for me. Right. It was just me in the almighty. So as I'm walking around this track every day, being persistent and being consistent because I was an epic person that quit everything I did. There was no consistency to me. So God was stretching me even in that area because I was a habitual quitter. I'll start and I will quit.

[00:14:37] So even during that time, there was so much that God was doing in and through me as he was healing me and restoring me. So I'm giving these messages every day online. I can't speak in front of these people. What are you doing? Me? I stutter a little bit. Sometimes I might mispronounce my words. You don't want me out here talking to these people. Get somebody else to do it. But what I did not realize was that as he was taking me through deliverance, that the layers were being peeled back and pulled back.

[00:15:07] All the things were just coming off of me that I knew was there, but I did not want to face. So God began to set me free and liberate me and whatnot. And after all of that, it was like in the month of November, I was teaching Bible study at church. And I began to talk about my journey walking on a track. And the guy says to me at that very moment, he says, all those words that you were releasing on social media, they were for you. They were for you.

[00:15:36] So I had to be forced to conduct self-deliverance. In front of the world. So listen, I've learned so much about how to take time for yourself. Yeah. And not try to overcompensate. Because you have the ability to do so. And you're slowly dying. Right.

[00:16:06] Dealing with the spirit of rejection, perfectionism, you know, insecurities, low self-esteem and all those things and covering up. So today I can wear my lashes, my makeup, my lip gloss. I can show up and not covering up the imperfection. Because now in my mind, I'm good. I'm that girl.

[00:16:28] Before I was covering up the brokenness and the spirit of perfectionism, feeling like I had to be perfect for not just people, but for me. Because there was something missing. Yes. But the moment that we as a people begin to make the conscious decision, I need to heal. Instead of trying to show up in a world that just want what they can get because I'm showing up. Because I'm showing up.

[00:16:58] So I went through that thing and I'm so happy that I allowed the father and I didn't fight him on this. I'm so happy that I allowed him to do the work on the inside of me that needed to be done. So now I can confidently show up. Right? I can now show up and not care. Yes. And even as you were going through that deliverance, because I watched you every morning on a track and I would watch your messages.

[00:17:23] And I always just, you know, and there's another girl that was doing that for a while. And I was like, I was so encouraged because I got my deliverance the same way. Actually running through the park as the Lord set me free every morning I had to run. And watching that, I think I met you. I must have met you in that time frame then because that's about when I met you. I was like, she's so confident. She's so beautiful. So, and I'm saying that because people never see what we have to go through behind closed doors.

[00:17:52] And we will struggle with when you are strong. This is chuckle and your strong friends. So even through this process, did you find yourself in isolation? I did. I found myself in isolation between the months of, I can never forget this, May and like mid, all of May and probably like the end of June. Remind you, I'm a pastor. So I got to show up in that area. Yes. Yes. Personally, I kind of found myself in a place of isolation.

[00:18:22] So you're going through all of this deliverance, still going through this deliverance and you're still, and now you're currently pastoring and you're still pastoring because you had to start the church then. Actually, I started church in 2020. Yeah. 2020. Yes, yes, yes. And I said that everyone that's watching for a reason because the Lord's going to, the gospel get the glory. And as you begin to move, he continues to tear off the layers. That's probably something you probably never even thought that you had to deal with. And God said, I need another level from you. So you just got to come off.

[00:18:51] We die daily and we don't, we don't understand how much deliverance we need until we get to a place of prayer and to a place of silence with the Lord that he begins to show us us. I always say God can show you everybody else, but can't show you yourself. I'm concerned. Yes. Amen. Amen.

[00:19:24] Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

[00:19:55] Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

[00:20:26] Amen. Yes. I'm still a mother, still a grandmother, still a sister. And I'm the eldest. Yes. But what happens when when those things show up at your door? And and what God has liberated you from the enemy trying to bring it back. What I learned how to do was take a deep breath. And not try to be superwoman. That's good.

[00:20:56] And allow people to pour into you. Yes. Yes. Because it comes a time in our lives when we're going to go through things as long as we live life will life every day and every moment. But we have to learn as we're going through and navigating through life. One thing that I did learn throughout that time, which was recent, 2024, was that God is still sitting on the throne.

[00:21:26] And he's still sitting on the throne. Still sitting on the throne. He has not gotten up off the throne because I had problems. That's it. He did not get off the throne because I was struggling. Yes. He's still sitting there. He's still sitting there. And I think that as we're going through as people of God, people, women and men of faith, that we have to hold on to our confession.

[00:21:55] Because at the end of the day, I know sometimes we are trying to show up for people. But can we still show up for him? Can we still show up? I just had this conversation today. I just had a today. Somebody was telling me why they couldn't pray. You know, I've been too tired. My shifts at work are too long. And I got this going on. I said, well, you know. I said, I don't know. I don't know. I don't understand.

[00:22:24] Ain't nobody going to out pray me. The Jews pray three times a day. The Muslims pray four, five times a day. Ain't nobody going to out pray me. I serve Elohim. No, we got to still show up because God's still sitting on the throne. Yes. He has not been. He has not been. And will not be. So, so, so, so God allows these things to take place. He allows these things to take place. To see, are you still going to show up for me? I will still show up for the people.

[00:22:54] So, in the process of, you know, dealing with the loss of her, the loss of her and her transitioning to go with the father, I still have to tend to the folk that God gave me. I don't get to shut the church down and say, we can't have Bible study tonight because no Sunday service. You don't do that. Why? Because he's still in the throne.

[00:23:19] What I've learned to do in 2024 is take a break, but not for my assignment. But not for my assignment. That's good, Pastor. Listen, the saints were coming over to the house. And, of course, I can't help, you know, you poor because I still got to do what I need to do. Because they were like, what? How are you keeping it together? Because he said he'll give me peace that surpassed all understanding. That's how.

[00:23:46] I couldn't even explain to the people how I was still saying. But what I can tell you is that he will give you peace. That's a passive all understanding. All understanding. That gives you your understanding. Yes. So in all of these things that we're faced with, we have to go through, we have to make sure that our confession is in alignment with the will of the Lord. That's good.

[00:24:15] And so, of course, she passed on. I made it. I'm still here today. Thank the Lord. You know, and I did the eulogy because not only was she my mom, I was her pastor. I was going to ask you, did she go to your church? Yes. Wasn't in church for years until I started pastoring. And she came to church. So to God be the glory.

[00:24:38] So I've learned how to navigate throughout life by totally really submitting to God because it looks different. And it sounds good about your mouth. Like it really sounds good. You know, I'm submitting to God. He's, you know, he's the head of my life. That sounds so good. It sounds so good. But what happens when you're faced with Job experiences? Will you allow people to tell you it don't take all that? Like your wife said, curse.

[00:25:09] Curse God. What will we do? What will we do? So ultimately, it's really about, you know, really, really holding on to God seriously in the midst of what we're faced with. Rejection. He healed me. Delivered me. I'm not a people pleaser. I'm not. I've been delivered from people. Thank the Lord. Because that's a big one. That's a big one. Especially in our community. Yes. We care so much about what people think. Yes.

[00:25:39] What they say. What they're going to do. You know? So he delivered me from people. He delivered me from thinking that I had to have it all together. Yes. Yes. I don't have to. There's no need for me to have it all together. I just need to make sure that I am abiding in him as he abides in me. Yes.

[00:26:01] So these are the things I've learned throughout this last year or two is learning how to really put my trust in God and not saying it with my mouth. Yes. And then when adversity come up, then I don't know what happened to trust. The trust was somewhere else. That's it. Our confessions will be tested. Our confessions will be tested. And I teach that. You know, people say, how do you keep going? How do you keep standing? And I say, because God didn't say I had to be perfect. He said I had to be faithful.

[00:26:31] If I be faithful over a few things, he made me rule over many. So I got to be perfect. I don't got to do it all right. I just have to be faithful. Yes. Yeah. I had to learn more. Yes. Yes. And as we grow in God, there are so many lessons. And one thing is we must remain teachable. Oh, that's so good. And what happens is, is that we, in our mind, we begin to grow in such a place in our mind

[00:27:01] that no one can tell us anything. That's a dangerous place to be. That's good. Apostle. We must stay on the potter's wheel. And that's how I've been sustained throughout these last two to three years with God setting me free from various things that I was struggling with internally. Is remaining teachable and seeking wise counsel, godly counsel. Yes. And not counsel. Talk about that.

[00:27:31] Because I think that we have a hard time with seeking wise, godly. Y'all hear that wise, godly counsel. Yes. Well, we're in an age now, you know, we're in a social media age and we want what's popping. And we want who's popping. We want who's viral. We want who has a certain amount of followers on social media. But the very one that may not be popping in our site is popping in God's site.

[00:27:56] And that's the one that God has called to provide you with wise, godly counsel. Because wise, godly counsel will put you in position to soar and excel. Yes. Wise, godly counsel. And that wise, godly counsel will cause you to be able to multiply. With that wise, godly counsel, God will bless the very works of your hands.

[00:28:28] Yes. Yes. Yes. But with foolish counsel, ungodly counsel, you will prosper for a moment. But it will not last. It won't last. So I've learned how to seek. And listen, wise, godly counsel is not going to always come from those that you came up with or that you know. God will raise up people that he has called to be able to pour into you. And you just met them last month, last year.

[00:28:58] So we have to be open and get rid of the mindset, no new friends. That's foolish. That's foolish. When God is the God of this big giant world of billions of people, billions upon billions of people. So we have to be open to receiving those destiny partners and helpers that God is aligning in our lives to help us to come up in various areas of our lives.

[00:29:27] And just to go back really quickly, because that's good. Because I'm thinking about the timeline that you even gave us when you were going through your deliverance process. And even in the midst of your deliverance process, you were soaring. Yes. You were still moving from glory to glory to victory to victory. I watched you go. I think you even got ordained as apostle. Yes. You got an elevation in the spiritual realm coming. So I'm assuming that was coming right out of that deliverance.

[00:29:57] God elevated you to another place spiritually. I seen your pictures on billboards. And you've been traveling, not just the country, but the world. Yes. You know, international speaking engagements and how God has launched you out. And I'm not saying this, y'all, with the glory. I'm saying this because God gets the glory. Yes. You know, he will use anybody. But he wants a willing vessel. And because you were faithful over the few things, you know, I watch you go for five years.

[00:30:26] She's been passing in five years. And I'm telling you, these five years have been amazing. Watching. Because we watch on social media. I don't know about you. I agree. I watch on social media. And I'm looking. And I'm lurking. And I'm following. And I'm cheering. Yes. And it's important to be attached to me and have new friends. And I said, look at her. I got to get her. I wanted a lunch date. I said, I wanted a lunch date maybe a couple years ago. I said, I'm going to call her for lunch. After we met. After we met. And I just got married. Just moved back here.

[00:30:52] So I was going through, you know, that, whatever, trying to find my footing in that. And I said, I want some new friends. Because I did. I wanted some friends that were grounded. Yes. That can give wise counsel. Yes. That can trust with a secret or two. Yes. You know. So I was like, you know what? I'm going to reach out to her. And I thought I would be like a close to the same age. Because you got an old soul. Not that you look old. Because you look like a young girl. But I was like, I need to be too old to be my friend. Because you're so old. You got an old soul. And my sister was like, y'all about the same age, girl.

[00:31:22] Yes. I want to be her friend. So no. So I've been watching. And I can. So even hearing your testimony. Again, people see the glory. But they don't know the story that you were going through through this process. Yes. But the Bible says that we should be known by our fruit. That's the word. That's good. That's good. Yeah. I've been watching your fruit. That's good. It's good fruit. Amen. Amen. Amen. You know, my desire is to totally please God.

[00:31:54] Listen. I gave the devil all of me. Okay. Come on. I did not hold back nothing. I let him have his way. Yes. Yes. Yes. I dare not. Have a good time. Listen. He had his way. I'm not going to come on this side and dummy down the power of the almighty. That's it. Not going to do that. Because there's more. There's more. There's more.

[00:32:20] And not only is it more for us as those that are carrying what we're carrying, but there's more for those that are the onlookers. That's it. There are people who are looking onlookers, right? Mm-hmm. You have you. They're looking on. But as they're looking on, they're seeing the glory of God. And by you looking on, by individuals looking at the people of God that carries his glory,

[00:32:48] they're onlooking, they're seeing his glory. Something has to take place if you're looking at the glory. Something has to take place. You're teaching us real good. Something. You cannot. Listen. You cannot look at the glory of God and no transformation takes place. Because everybody is not coming inside the four walls of the church. So we got to get that. So what God begins to do is he begins to display his glory.

[00:33:18] He puts his glory on display. Yes. That folk may look upon us and glorify who? Our Father who is in heaven. Our Father who is in heaven. They'll see our good works, the glory. But then they'll begin to glorify our daddy that sits high and looks low. So we have a responsibility, right? To keep on doing what God has called us to do in spite of. Yes. Because only what we do for Christ will last. Nothing else matters.

[00:33:48] Nothing else. And once we're truly sold out to God, we won't make an excuse and say, well, I can't because I got to work. Well, I can't do this because no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There's no excuse because he comes first. The Bible tells us that the same spirit that rose Christ from the dead will quicken our mortal bodies. So when we're feeling depleted and fatigued, call upon that same spirit that rose Christ from the dead. It'll quicken your mortal body.

[00:34:20] It's time to work. You're teaching us very good. It's time to work. Yes. It's time to go to work. Why is that day? Yes. Mm-hmm. Yes. That's what we are. We are, we're in an hour now where it's, it's time to work. It's time for all boots on the ground. I told the saints a couple of weeks ago. It's time for all boots on the ground. Mm-hmm. It's time to work. Um, there's no time for us.

[00:34:44] And this is why the father wants us liberated because you cannot successfully and effectively do your assignment broken. Mm-hmm. You can't. No matter, listen, no matter how good I allowed it to look, I could not successfully or effectively work my assignment broken. No, ma'am.

[00:35:12] And what we try to do is we try to dress it up. Mm-hmm. But there will be no success if you're trying to do your assignment broken. You won't be effective. That's good. Right. So, so he wants us to be liberated and come to the, you know, and come to the realization that I need, I'm broken. I'm a little messed up. Yeah. I'm preaching, teaching, prophesying, laying hands on the sick, casting out demons, but I'm a little messed up.

[00:35:41] A little messed up. So the moment that we can admit, listen, we don't need a prophet to prophesy to us and tell us what's wrong with us. I don't need a prophet to, I don't need, I don't need that. Help us. Because, listen, listen, the spirit of the Lord lives in you. So he will begin to convict you if you stop quenching him. That's good.

[00:36:06] So, so the Lord wants to get us to a place, amen, that we're walking in true deliverance. True deliverance. True deliverance. True. Mm-hmm. Because your fruits will display true deliverance or false deliverance. That's true. So what type of fruit are we displaying? Yeah.

[00:36:31] Because sometimes we can look like we have it together, but the core of that thing, we cannot be effective. Yes. We can successfully fool some people some of the time, but we can't fool God none of the time. So he's liberating his people. He truly wants to liberate the people of God that we can be effective in the kingdom of God to draw people to him. That's ultimately what it's about. Mm-hmm. That's good.

[00:37:01] And I always say we want to be delivered. And people always talk about deliverance. And even as you were speaking, the one thing that I think that people usually miss is that you have to stay until you're made whole. Because once you get delivered, that's one thing. But do we stay until we're made whole? So when it comes again, like you said, I think y'all creep up again, but it couldn't because I've been made whole. Yes. Yeah.

[00:37:30] I was, I was made. Not only did I walk through this deliverance, but I walked through it and I was made whole. There has to be a place where you are made whole. And a lot of times we don't stay long enough. That's good. To be made whole. That's good. You know, because when, when, when, when, as, as the Lord begins to deliver us, right. And we have to stay in a place that he can continue to make us whole. But the reason why people don't stay is because it costs too much.

[00:38:02] Can you say it again? It costs too much. It costs too much. It costs too much. It costs too much. Because now, guess what? I need to admit my fault and my part in the story that was wrong. Oh, that's so good. It costs too much. So, so, so people won't stay there in that place because it is requiring too much. It hurts too bad.

[00:38:30] When you're being processed, that does not feel good. The crushing hurts. So in order for you to be made whole, for us to be made whole, we must be crushed. And I will. Break that down, Pastor, for those that don't understand what crushing means. So the crushing comes when your will dies, what you want to do, what you want to say, where you want to go, how you want to be.

[00:38:58] You can no longer be that way because God is crushing. He's dismantling your will. And we have to allow the father to dismantle our will. You know, me, myself, and I, this is just how I am. This is how I do it. My mom did it like this. You ain't gonna say what you want to say to me. I'm a clack back. What the Lord wants to do, he wants to kill that. He wants to crush the carnality.

[00:39:26] That's the only way that we can successfully and effectively be whole. Be made whole. That's good. So for the cheap seats, you have to be in a place where you surrender at all. You have to be willing to say, father, for you, I live and for you, I die. And I'm gonna lay it all down. That's where you pay the price because there is a cost. See, all of us gave something. Yes. But some of us gave everything.

[00:39:56] Yes. You gotta be willing to give it all. If you want to carry this fire that you see on this woman of God, you gotta be willing to give. You want to be made whole and go through a deliverance process. The anointing is sold separately. Salvation is free. But there is a cost for the anointing. There's a cost. There's a cost. It's ironic. We're talking about this on Sunday. We talked about the man that was crippled and no one was there to put him in a pool, right?

[00:40:27] But when he got up, he got up whole. He got up whole. He didn't get up limping. He didn't get up dragging his feet. He got up whole, complete. Because when God does a thing, he completes it. It's us that stops the completion of it. Yes. Jesus said, pick it up. Pick up the bed. He picked it up.

[00:40:57] And he was whole. Instantly. So God will do that for us, but we have to stay in that place of crushing and surrender and submit it to the father. In that secret place. We must be dwellers. Oh, that's good. We must really take on the nature of God, but we must be dwellers. He that dwells in the secret place, the most high, shadow of the body, the shadow of the

[00:41:27] almighty. We must become dwellers. We must become dwellers. A dweller stays in a place. That's good. I was going to ask you to teach us how to dwell. Amen. A dweller. I stay there. I don't get up. Right? I stay there. It's a posture. It's a commitment. Yes. I dwell. I submit. And I seek him.

[00:41:58] That's good. That's good. That's good. So I'm a student. I love to learn. I love to hear the word of God. It's my favorite part of service. And whenever I get together with my friends is what we talk about. We want to talk about other things, but we go right to the word because the word, it doesn't need any help. It doesn't need any help. It just preaches and speaks all by itself.

[00:42:22] And that, and even with that, when you have that much in you, when you're going through a process, it's easy to understand where your help comes from. And I'm sure that that was helpful for you. And that was a place that you could hide at while you were going through this process. Yes, Lord. Yes. The father would definitely comfort us. Like, like, seriously, like the word of God is not, you know, these fairy tales.

[00:42:53] It's, it's real. It's life. It's not people that are just saying, you know, you know, the Lord will encourage you. It's not people just telling you that it's life. It's real. It's just like us getting dressed every day. And you know, the Bible talks about with the full armor on. Put on God. Just put him on. And if we put him on, when we wake up in the morning, then we'll be able to navigate throughout

[00:43:19] the day without letting people rub us the wrong way. Yes. You will hear it and not hear it. You'll see it and not see it because you put on God in the morning. Now somebody's going to ask, how do I put on God? I put on God by spending time with him and putting on the mind and give input in the mind of him on me. That's good. Let this mind be in us. That is also in Christ Jesus.

[00:43:45] So I put him on by, you know, my devotional time with him. So I make sure that I'm, you know, spending time with him in the morning and the afternoon and the evening. I'm forever covered by God. That's so good. Forever in his presence. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Big, you said preacher. Could you make the word so plain that we all want to go to church?

[00:44:14] Because I'm telling you, my friends, they can't call me. They're like, listen, I said, listen, I found a scripture today I want to talk about. But no, but that's good because with that, I'm able to go on through every situation because I know where my help comes from. Yeah. That's what I hear from you. Like, I know where my help come from. Listen, I put God on today. Amen. Amen. Amen. So now, now that you've gotten through this process and you've gotten through this healing

[00:44:43] process and you went through this crushing and here you are, you know, on the other side and we're whole now. So what is in store now? What do you have going on now? Where does the Lord have you at? It's year five of ministry, of pastoring. Right. Okay. So where I am now, the Lord has really put me in the vein of teaching and teaching the people of God.

[00:45:10] Because things are moving so fast and in Christendom, in the body of Christ and in the world in general. And we need to be able to take a breather, a breath. Right. And begin to allow that teaching grace to impart in us. Every other gift is highlighted in the fivefold.

[00:45:37] But I'm finding myself also as a student. Okay. And allow myself to be poured into that. I may be able to effectively pour into those that I am called to cultivate, to teach and to groom. So where I am right now in the next couple of months will be a lot of intensive teaching to my leadership at the ministry and those also that are under them as well. Mainly to the leaders.

[00:46:07] Because in order for us to be an effective leader, we must be willing to be imparted into. Um, we must be willing to die and to submit ourselves to God and not just talk about it with our mouth. So I'm really, I love leadership. I love leaders. I love building people. I love cultivating folk. I love teaching. I love pouring into people. Um, because it's necessary. And I always say to the people of God that God has called me to. If I never make it to Brazil and you go, I've went.

[00:46:36] If I never preach in South Africa and you go, I've went. If I never go to Australia and you go, I've went. Why? Because I've imparted on the inside of you. Just as parents, you want your children to succeed you. Yes. In every area. Naturally. It's the same way when God has given us people, our desires for them to go further than us.

[00:47:06] Let's break the glass ceilings. Let's shatter them. To pieces. Yes. Yes. So that we can successfully. Ascend. Hmm. So that's where I am right now. I'm just teaching and, and, and being grateful to the Lord for the congregation. I did a lot of traveling last year. Um, and there's some come up later in the year, but mainly right now I'm taking advantage of

[00:47:32] this time, um, to meet with my people, um, to pour into them, to cultivate, to stir up within them. Um, that whatever they're carrying will not die. Um, I know now why you were chosen to be on the podcast because you have blessed me. Um, cause I struggle with rejection and, um, the Lord took me through a healing process with it.

[00:47:56] This, the last two years, actually, actually in June, in June, Lord took me through this process. And, um, and I'm very comfortable in my skin, you know, very comfortable in my skin, very comfortable who I am, but because of my past, you know, you always feel like, you know, and then, uh, and you gave it a name and I thank the Lord that you did, uh, accusation, a spirit of accusation, right? You always imagine what people are saying. Yes. Oh, they must be mad and not answering their phone. Oh, they must be upset.

[00:48:26] You know, the spirit of accusation that was good. So now I know what to call out. And the Lord told me in June, he said, um, I want you to go back to your first works and I want you to teach. And I've been teaching. So I have a, I have a class I teach called warriors in a word on Thursday. I wanted it on Wednesday. So I rhymed, but that wasn't the day I got. And I've been teaching and my pastor, um, that church I go to, she says, I've never seen, you know, like it.

[00:48:52] And I said to her, because no one ever think the teaching man, a mantle is, is glamorous, but there's something about when we begin to teach how God begins to download into us. I'm like, how do I even know that father? Oh, I never seen it before, but as you're teaching it, God begins to reveal the secret of heaven to you. And so, so I'm so glad that you came on because you said that. And I, and I, and I've been thinking about it because, you know, I was preaching every,

[00:49:21] every month and, and the Lord had me traveling a lot, but listen in this season, I want you to go back to the first works and I want you to teach. So I've been, you know, and I've been doing that and I've never been comfortable. You know, you know, you just never get comfortable, but I feel fulfilled. I feel like I'm fulfilling my call. Right. Right. So I'm glad that you said that God helped me. I wanted to just say that because I, because that blessed me.

[00:49:49] And I know if nothing else, y'all don't get nothing, I got what I needed today. Thank you, Lord. And, and, and, and knowing that when you have a high calling on your life and how God begins to, you know, you hear these stories of people say they went to church and it got delivered. You know, I got saved. As soon as I got saved, God delivered me. Some of us got to crawl out with our fingernails. Some of us got to, we got to, we got to wrestle for that thing. You know, we got to hold on until he blesses us. And just to be encouraged by that testimony.

[00:50:18] Cause I would have never known that watching you walk that track. I was like, first of all, you was a powerful woman of God. Like this girl is so powerful. Like, you know, mighty warrior, mighty woman of God, you know, and then the word was so profound. I'm like, okay, she gave us a good word. I don't think I'm going to look at you and make up. I'm like, okay, she working out, you know, I need to get back out there. So to know that we never, no one would never know that that was, you know, your struggle. I think I did see that when your mother had passed away,

[00:50:45] but not knowing the story, you know, and knowing that you was able to bring her to Christ or the church, or I'm not sure she was already saved already, you know, but to become, to have that comfort, you know? So, so I thank you for being so transparent and coming in and cause you, cause you are, she's a woman of little words, y'all. She don't say much, you know, but what she speak could be powerful. Yes. So I did see that you are about to travel out of the country. Tell us about it. Yes.

[00:51:13] I'm going to, um, actually I'm going to London, I believe. Soon with before June, I'm going to London, but then I am also going to the Virgin Islands in October. Okay. Those are two places I'm going to this year outside the country, but there's some local assignments that I have, um, that will be coming up here soon as well. That is amazing. How are you feeling? I'm excited to be able to, um, to share the gospel of Jesus Christ. Yeah.

[00:51:42] And I'm also excited to be able to be one of the ones who made it out of the projects. I was going to say you wouldn't go, go there, but yes, yes, yes. Yeah. I, yeah. I grew up in Riverside, Riverside Bucket 26. Like I grew up in everybody. Um, I was one of the bad little girls, always fighting, always all the, all the ghetto poverty things that people do. Right.

[00:52:05] Um, but God liberated me and, um, I'm excited to be able to be an example to those that I grew up with. Yes. Um, to see, and I see some of my friends sometimes, um, a couple of them have come to the church and they're like, wow. Wow. Um, but just to be a light. So that excites me that people can look upon my life and again, see the glory of God. They may not have the language. Did you always know you were going to be a preacher? A pastor?

[00:52:35] No. When did, when did the Lord, when did the Lord call you and tell you that you were going to be pastoring? 20, about 2017, 2018. He began to talk to me about it. And I've said, sir, get somebody else to do that. That ain't, that ain't me. Hmm. 2017, 2018. And then I was ordained a pastor 2019. So at what age did you say, listen, Lord, I want to answer my call that I'm going to preach the gospel and I'm going to do what you called me to do.

[00:53:04] I'm doing instant pastoring yet, but when did you start to walk in your calling? Um, 2015. Okay. 2015, 2014. Yes. Oh, that was it. Got to do a quick work. He's the redeemer of the times. Yes. Come on. Yes. Well, 2015 and by 2019, you was pastor. Look at God. Yes. Yes. The Lord is faithful.

[00:53:32] He is, you know, who I would never want this. I could be the usher at the church. I love doing that. I want to be an immediate person. Yeah. Love it. Love it. Love it. But when there's more, there's more. Yes. Yes. Yes. And what an honor. Amen. Amen. Amen. So I know we have a few more minutes to close up here. Anything else you wanted to talk about?

[00:54:00] I know you had said, you know, coming out of the projects and just being a light in that space and showing, uh, uh, people you grow up with, listen, God can do it for me. He can do it for you. Anything else that you wanted to add to this conversation that I don't want to miss nothing. That's going to help somebody. I just want to encourage the people to go with what's, what God has placed on the inside of you.

[00:54:25] Um, oftentimes we hold back because we're looking for approval, um, from our peers and we don't do what God has placed on the inside of us to do it because we're looking for approval. I encourage anyone out there to do what God has placed in your womb to do. The podcast is talking about the birthing. It's time for us to birth what we're carrying in our wounds.

[00:54:55] Don't look for validation. Don't look for approval. Definitely don't look for pats on the back, but do what it is that God has placed on the inside of your womb to do. Amen. And with that being said, you want to close this out in prayer, pastor? Yes. Most gracious father, we come to give you glory, honor, and praise. We magnify you and we exalt you. God, we thank you father, for there is none like you, God. We thank you.

[00:55:25] We praise you God because you sit high and you look low. God, we thank you God because you are the alpha, the omega, the beginning, and the end. We thank you all God because you are the creator of the heavens and earth. Father, on tonight, we give you glory. We give you honor and we give you praise. And God, we thank you for this opportunity, God, to be able, oh God, to share, oh God, the good news of Jesus Christ. And Father, we pray right now, God, for those, oh God, that are watching, oh God, that you will bless your people, Father. We pray right now, oh God, that you will continue, oh God, to expand and enlarge their territory, Father.

[00:55:54] We thank you, Father, for the woman of God that allowed me to come on her talk show today, oh God. We pray blessings upon her, God. We pray right now, God, that she shall have sufficient in every area of her life, God. We pray that you will bless the very works of her hand. We pray, God, today, God, that you will enlarge and expand her territory. We thank you. We praise you today for just being God all by yourself. God, perfect those things concerning us tonight in Jesus Christ's name. Amen. Amen. Amen. I got to turn my mic off because my husband's dogs are barking. The other dogs are always a part of the show. So I thank you.

[00:56:24] Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Apostle, for coming on and for just being candid, for blessing us, for helping us on today. Someone's going to be set free and delivered. And if y'all don't want it, I want it. I'm a candidate for deliverance. And I thank you for coming on. And also, I want to just mention that Apostle is a life coach. It's a life coach, right? Yes. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So her information will be in the description box. So you can find her. You know how to contact her. And she'll give us an email that you guys can email. You can find her on social media.

[00:56:53] I make sure all her handles are down there so you know exactly how to get in contact with her. Her church in the days of her church service, you can inbox her or email her for that information. Okay. And I'm so grateful and so thankful. Thank you for coming on. As I always say, everyone, little prayer, a little power, a lot of prayer, a lot of power. Stay on the potter's wheel. Continue, continue to endure the crushing season. Don't let up until the Lord blesses you.

[00:57:21] Hold on and continue to be crushed. We wake up to die daily. And remember, the enemy can't kill what's already dead. Everyone have a blessed day. And we're going to leave you here in the water.