In this heartfelt episode of "Talk To Me, Michele," we dive deep into the importance of protecting your joy in a world that often resists happiness. Michele opens up about her hiatus from recording, the support from her community, and the episode's powerful inspiration. She unpacks challenges like dealing with haters, maintaining boundaries, and why happiness can trigger jealousy in others.
From navigating awkward social interactions to learning how to be your cheerleader, Michele passionately advocates for celebrating wins loudly and proudly. Whether it's an engagement announcement gone wrong or handling a flirtatious friend, she offers candid advice to ensure your happiness remains intact.
This episode is an invitation to be a loud cheerleader in a world that desperately needs more joy. Learn to shine brightly without dimming your light for anyone. Tune in and discover how to keep your inner peace untouched by the side-eye squad.
00:00:00 --> 00:00:25 Music.
00:00:25 --> 00:00:29 I'm back, everybody. Welcome into another episode of Talk To Me,
00:00:29 --> 00:00:33 Michelle, where the conversations are real, unfiltered, and always from the
00:00:33 --> 00:00:35 heart. I want to apologize.
00:00:36 --> 00:00:40 You know, I can't say life been lifing anymore as an excuse.
00:00:40 --> 00:00:42 Life be lifing for everybody.
00:00:43 --> 00:00:46 I was going to take a quick break because this is the fourth season,
00:00:47 --> 00:00:52 so thank y'all for rocking through four seasons with me. I got sick and I was
00:00:52 --> 00:00:54 going to try to force a recording.
00:00:54 --> 00:00:58 I didn't want to bring y'all that side. That's not what this is about.
00:00:58 --> 00:01:01 So that's why I wanted to wait till I got myself back on track,
00:01:01 --> 00:01:05 get back to the podcast. So I appreciate y'all's patience and thank you guys
00:01:05 --> 00:01:07 again, especially Dee Capri.
00:01:07 --> 00:01:12 She has been a mad supporter, you know, sharing everything, liking everything on my social media.
00:01:13 --> 00:01:16 She's always supporting me, especially on Buy Me a Coffee.
00:01:16 --> 00:01:20 I mean, that woman is devoted. I appreciate you, Deez. That's why I had to give
00:01:20 --> 00:01:22 you a special shout out this week.
00:01:23 --> 00:01:27 Now, I'm going to ask y'all something before we get back to our regularly scheduled programming.
00:01:27 --> 00:01:33 Have you ever shared some good news, like really good news, and instantly you
00:01:33 --> 00:01:35 felt like you made a mistake?
00:01:35 --> 00:01:38 You know, you're looking around the room expecting people to be smiling for
00:01:38 --> 00:01:44 you, and instead you get the side eyes, awkward silence, or those little whispers
00:01:44 --> 00:01:47 behind hands. Yeah, we're going there today.
00:01:47 --> 00:01:52 But before I get into it, I've got my letter of the week, and this one is an
00:01:52 --> 00:01:55 eye roller. Dear Michelle.
00:01:58 --> 00:02:01 I've got a situation that's been bothering me for a while.
00:02:01 --> 00:02:08 One of my boys, who I have known for years, gets way too friendly whenever he's around me and my lady.
00:02:08 --> 00:02:11 I mean, he lays it on thick with the compliments.
00:02:12 --> 00:02:17 At first, I brushed it off. One or two compliments cool, but this dude acts
00:02:17 --> 00:02:20 like he's auditioning to be her next boyfriend right in front of me.
00:02:21 --> 00:02:25 It's constant and now my girls brought it up too, saying it makes her uncomfortable.
00:02:26 --> 00:02:31 I don't want to assume the worst or be overly sensitive, but it's getting real disrespectful.
00:02:32 --> 00:02:37 What do I do without causing drama in the friend group? The invisible boyfriend.
00:02:37 --> 00:02:42 Oh, hunty, you're not invisible. Your boy is just acting like he's blind.
00:02:43 --> 00:02:48 Boldly. Thirsty. First off, he's not just being friendly.
00:02:49 --> 00:02:52 He's being front row on the Flirt Olympics.
00:02:53 --> 00:02:56 Compliments are cute, okay? everybody enjoys a
00:02:56 --> 00:02:59 good compliment but back to back that's not
00:02:59 --> 00:03:02 flattery that's strategy and let
00:03:02 --> 00:03:05 me say this if your lady is telling you she's
00:03:05 --> 00:03:08 uncomfortable with it you got to believe her because a
00:03:08 --> 00:03:11 woman knows when a man is going beyond complimenting her
00:03:11 --> 00:03:14 she's not being sensitive she's picking up
00:03:14 --> 00:03:17 on what you've probably been trying to ignore to keep
00:03:17 --> 00:03:19 the peace and i'm sorry brother you must be
00:03:19 --> 00:03:23 the first man who is cool with this situation because
00:03:23 --> 00:03:28 most of the men I roll with they would have said something day one now here's
00:03:28 --> 00:03:32 the mature part talk to him pull him to the side you know man to man and let
00:03:32 --> 00:03:37 him know respectfully that you're crossing the line now if he does get defensive
00:03:37 --> 00:03:43 that says a lot and if he doubles down then maybe he's not your boy at all,
00:03:43 --> 00:03:46 He's just a guest star waiting for your season to end.
00:03:47 --> 00:03:51 Friendships shouldn't feel like a competition, especially not with your woman.
00:03:51 --> 00:03:56 So you better handle it before your girl starts asking you why you keep inviting him around.
00:03:58 --> 00:04:02 Now, this episode was inspired by something that happened recently at work.
00:04:02 --> 00:04:05 One of my co-workers shared with me that she was engaged.
00:04:05 --> 00:04:09 Beautiful moment, right? So we have a staff meeting.
00:04:09 --> 00:04:12 And before we actually got the meeting started, you know, she leaned over and
00:04:12 --> 00:04:15 whispered to me, you know, and showed me her ring.
00:04:15 --> 00:04:21 And I just told her congratulations. I was really, really happy for her. Gave her a long hug.
00:04:22 --> 00:04:25 And before you know it, you know, we start getting eyes.
00:04:25 --> 00:04:27 Little stars here and there.
00:04:28 --> 00:04:35 And somebody else overheard us and said out loud, who's engaged? speeched.
00:04:35 --> 00:04:40 First and foremost, some people don't like their announcements to be public.
00:04:40 --> 00:04:44 That's why it was a one-on-one. I don't care for when people,
00:04:44 --> 00:04:47 you know, take that and announce it to the room.
00:04:47 --> 00:04:50 I'm like, you don't know where I want to go with this, but it happened.
00:04:50 --> 00:04:55 So before I knew it, the energy really shifted in the room.
00:04:55 --> 00:04:58 You know, it was just like a little whispering here and there,
00:04:58 --> 00:05:02 a couple of eye rolls and just facial expressions you couldn't ignore.
00:05:02 --> 00:05:07 So I want to unpack why people seem to hate on other people's happiness.
00:05:08 --> 00:05:12 Why is it so hard for some folks to clap when others win? And more importantly,
00:05:13 --> 00:05:16 how do we protect our joy in our world that seems allergic to it?
00:05:18 --> 00:05:22 This episode, we're going to go ahead and just rip this Band-Aid off,
00:05:22 --> 00:05:25 all right? I think it's healed enough. Let it air out.
00:05:25 --> 00:05:27 Because it's not you. It's them.
00:05:28 --> 00:05:31 Your joy isn't the problem. Their jealousy is just loud.
00:05:32 --> 00:05:36 Listen, some people look at your happiness the same way they look at a salad
00:05:36 --> 00:05:37 when they're really craving french fries.
00:05:38 --> 00:05:42 It's not the salad did anything wrong. It's just not what they wanted.
00:05:43 --> 00:05:49 Your glow, your engagement, a new job, baby, bomb hair day, all it does is highlight
00:05:49 --> 00:05:51 what they think they're lacking.
00:05:51 --> 00:05:55 It's not your fault they didn't do the inner work or the outer maintenance.
00:05:55 --> 00:05:59 But your shine is exposed in their shadows and they are not okay.
00:05:59 --> 00:06:01 Hey, I'm a prime example, okay?
00:06:01 --> 00:06:05 Not to boast and brag, but I know I have got a great personality,
00:06:06 --> 00:06:09 especially when I'm in the workplace because I don't like to have a dull, strictly work day.
00:06:09 --> 00:06:13 You know, we can get the job done, but it needs to be a little humor in the mix to make the day go by.
00:06:14 --> 00:06:19 And I see people hate on my interaction with certain people because we enjoy
00:06:19 --> 00:06:21 each other's company. I like to joke and jive.
00:06:22 --> 00:06:26 So you would think that Joy is on clearance at Macy's. You know how people be
00:06:26 --> 00:06:30 reacting at Black Friday sale? That's how people are when they're trying to
00:06:30 --> 00:06:32 scramble to snatch happiness from others.
00:06:32 --> 00:06:36 And a lot of folks truly think that if you have something good,
00:06:36 --> 00:06:38 that means there's less left for them.
00:06:38 --> 00:06:41 Like happiness is a limited edition. And it's not.
00:06:42 --> 00:06:46 Joy is not sold out. It's not buy one, block one.
00:06:46 --> 00:06:49 But people treat it like it is. So instead of clapping for you,
00:06:49 --> 00:06:53 they give you the side eye, sulking like, you know, you got something good.
00:06:53 --> 00:07:00 It's taking something off of their plate. No, your blessings didn't cancel anybody else's order.
00:07:00 --> 00:07:05 Now, some folks are walking around with an emotional paper cut like they never
00:07:05 --> 00:07:08 got it treated. They never put no neosporin or peroxide, nothing on it.
00:07:08 --> 00:07:14 So when they see somebody else winning, it feels like lemon juice on an open wound. You got engaged.
00:07:15 --> 00:07:19 They're still mad about the situationship that goes to them back in 2014.
00:07:19 --> 00:07:24 You're glowing with happiness. They have been marinating in bitterness and broken
00:07:24 --> 00:07:27 dreams. And guess what? Your piece feels like an insult.
00:07:27 --> 00:07:33 But instead of going to therapy, they choose petty. It's just a little bit more convenient.
00:07:34 --> 00:07:36 It's cheaper, available 24-7.
00:07:37 --> 00:07:40 Last but definitely not least, the world loves a good competition,
00:07:40 --> 00:07:42 especially when it's amongst women.
00:07:43 --> 00:07:46 We've been conditioned to compare and not connect.
00:07:47 --> 00:07:51 Workplace culture doesn't help with this either, because God forbid somebody's
00:07:51 --> 00:07:54 life is going well, you smile a little bit too much with the staff,
00:07:55 --> 00:07:59 and suddenly folks got these chats on the sideline like you're really offending them.
00:07:59 --> 00:08:05 It's just an engagement. It's not the cure of world hunger. It's sad, but it's true.
00:08:05 --> 00:08:09 Joy makes people uncomfortable, especially when they haven't had none in a while.
00:08:10 --> 00:08:13 And the bottom line is that your happiness will always trigger people who haven't
00:08:13 --> 00:08:16 found theirs yet. But that's not your burden to carry.
00:08:17 --> 00:08:20 That's their assignment. They got to unpack that.
00:08:21 --> 00:08:24 All right, now that we've identified the hater species in the wild,
00:08:24 --> 00:08:28 I'm going to talk about how to handle them without catching the charge or dimming your shine.
00:08:28 --> 00:08:32 Because one thing about me is I refuse to let a bitter spirit ruin my good news.
00:08:32 --> 00:08:34 So this is how we're going to deal with it.
00:08:34 --> 00:08:38 First of all, do not dim your light. Now, the petty in me, I shine even harder.
00:08:38 --> 00:08:42 That's just me. That's how I celebrate. I'm sorry. That's just in my nature.
00:08:42 --> 00:08:46 But if your joy is too bright for them, tell them to put on their sunglasses. classes.
00:08:47 --> 00:08:51 They're available everywhere. You're not required to downplay your wins just
00:08:51 --> 00:08:53 to keep other people comfortable in their misery.
00:08:53 --> 00:08:56 If you just got promoted, married,
00:08:56 --> 00:09:00 engaged, lost 10 pounds, finally found peace, you can celebrate that.
00:09:00 --> 00:09:05 And if somebody gets offended by that, then that's their problem, not your adjustment.
00:09:05 --> 00:09:08 And you got to watch the reactions and listen twice.
00:09:08 --> 00:09:13 Start paying attention to who claps when you win. Some folks are in your circle,
00:09:13 --> 00:09:15 but not in your corner. Yeah, That's true.
00:09:15 --> 00:09:18 They'll high-five you with one hand and throw shade with the other.
00:09:19 --> 00:09:24 You got to watch those delayed congratulations, that quiet shift of energy.
00:09:24 --> 00:09:29 And it's so weird because you'll be like, okay, oh, wow, good for you.
00:09:30 --> 00:09:34 You know what? That old bullshit smile. And it never reaches their eyes.
00:09:35 --> 00:09:39 Energy is just like what Al Pacino said in Scarface.
00:09:40 --> 00:09:42 Their eyes, chico, they never lie.
00:09:43 --> 00:09:46 Energy does not lie. And neither do the vibes.
00:09:47 --> 00:09:52 Make sure you protect your peace. Not every testimony is meant for public release.
00:09:52 --> 00:09:57 Sometimes the best move is like a soft launch. Yes, I'm happy.
00:09:57 --> 00:09:58 You don't need to know the details.
00:09:58 --> 00:10:02 You do not owe the group chat a whole life update.
00:10:02 --> 00:10:06 Some blessings hit harder in private and your closed circle,
00:10:06 --> 00:10:08 your journal, or just a good glass of wine.
00:10:08 --> 00:10:10 That's it. And please practice gratitude.
00:10:11 --> 00:10:15 Even in isolation, because I'm going to keep it real, sometimes your biggest
00:10:15 --> 00:10:16 wins can be celebrated in silence.
00:10:17 --> 00:10:21 There's no party, no confetti, no audience, just you and God like,
00:10:21 --> 00:10:22 you know, ooh, yeah, we did that.
00:10:23 --> 00:10:25 And guess what? That is real joy.
00:10:26 --> 00:10:30 You know, often when I have something great happen to me, I'm talking to God and my ancestors.
00:10:31 --> 00:10:35 Just because nobody clapped doesn't mean it wasn't worth celebrating.
00:10:35 --> 00:10:37 You don't need a crowd to validate a victory.
00:10:37 --> 00:10:40 And understand, boundaries are beautiful.
00:10:40 --> 00:10:45 If somebody makes you feel like your joy is too loud, too much,
00:10:45 --> 00:10:48 or too often, it's time to scoot them to the back row of your life.
00:10:48 --> 00:10:51 No drama, no announcement, just a gentle fade out.
00:10:51 --> 00:10:55 Your happiness is sacred. Treat it like it's fine china.
00:10:56 --> 00:10:59 Not everybody gets to eat off that china. The bottom line is you've got to protect
00:10:59 --> 00:11:01 your joy like it's Beyonce tickets.
00:11:02 --> 00:11:06 That's rare valuable, right? Not to be shared with everybody.
00:11:06 --> 00:11:08 Now let's move on before I get petty.
00:11:09 --> 00:11:15 Now, all this talk about the haters, the whisperers, the side-eye squad is draining.
00:11:15 --> 00:11:20 So let's flip it. Let's talk about how we can be the difference in a world that acts allergic to joy.
00:11:21 --> 00:11:25 Be that person who claps so loud folks think that you are getting to cut off
00:11:25 --> 00:11:27 that check. Be the one that yells.
00:11:28 --> 00:11:32 Yes, girl. Get it? I love that for you. Instead of sitting in the corner with
00:11:32 --> 00:11:34 your face looking like expired milk.
00:11:35 --> 00:11:38 We don't need more people acting like someone else's win is their loss.
00:11:38 --> 00:11:43 You know what we need? We need hype women, joy cheerleaders,
00:11:44 --> 00:11:47 walking affirmations and hoop earrings, whatever tickles your fancy.
00:11:48 --> 00:11:51 Even if your moment hasn't come yet, clap like it has.
00:11:51 --> 00:11:56 Because real confidence isn't shaken by someone else shining. It's inspired.
00:11:57 --> 00:12:01 You might be in your waiting season, and that's okay. But you can still cheer
00:12:01 --> 00:12:05 while you are standing in line, sis. that ain't blocking your blessings.
00:12:05 --> 00:12:07 It's making room for them.
00:12:07 --> 00:12:12 Now, when your time does come, and trust me, it will, you are going to want
00:12:12 --> 00:12:13 somebody yelling, that's my girl.
00:12:14 --> 00:12:16 Or, you know, you can be like Smoke Dog. That's my dog.
00:12:17 --> 00:12:23 That's my dog. You know, not somebody fake smiling and texting like she thinks she all that.
00:12:23 --> 00:12:27 Just be the difference. Be the loudest cheerleader in the room.
00:12:27 --> 00:12:33 Be the reminder that joy is contagious, and we ain't gatekeeping no good vibes over here.
00:12:33 --> 00:12:36 So if you want something when people are all up in your business without saying
00:12:36 --> 00:12:38 too much, I'm going to give you one.
00:12:38 --> 00:12:41 Clap for her like it's your blessing next, because it just might be.
00:12:43 --> 00:12:47 All right, we have come to the end of the episode, but let me leave you with this.
00:12:48 --> 00:12:52 Your happiness is not a weapon. It's not a crime. It's not a threat.
00:12:52 --> 00:12:55 And it sure as hell ain't something that you need to apologize for.
00:12:56 --> 00:13:00 If your joy offends somebody, just let it.
00:13:00 --> 00:13:04 That's not your burden. That's their intimate showing on the outside.
00:13:05 --> 00:13:08 Let them deal with that in therapy or in the TikTok comments, whatever they prefer.
00:13:09 --> 00:13:14 Because over here, we are not shrinking ourselves to fit inside somebody else's insecurities.
00:13:14 --> 00:13:19 You were made to shine and not tiptoe through life like your blessings were a mistake.
00:13:20 --> 00:13:25 You got to smile hard, love loud, and live like your good news was meant to be shared.
00:13:26 --> 00:13:31 Now, I want to hear from you guys. Of course, if you guys have a situation or a topic suggestion,
00:13:31 --> 00:13:34 hit me up at talktomemichelle at gmail.com and
00:13:34 --> 00:13:37 that's with one l and of course follow like
00:13:37 --> 00:13:40 and subscribe to talk to me michelle wherever you listen to your
00:13:40 --> 00:13:45 podcast same thing on all social media platforms talk to me michelle tag a friend
00:13:45 --> 00:13:50 co-worker or your closest hater who needs to hear this episode and remember
00:13:50 --> 00:13:56 if they side eye your success give them a front row seat so until next time
00:13:56 --> 00:13:58 stay joyful stay unbothered and i'm out.
00:13:58 --> 00:14:13 Music.
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