Join Michele on this eye-opening episode as she dives into the growing power of silence in a noisy world. Discover how intentional quietness can be a source of strength and peace, and why stepping back from social media chaos can reclaim your mental space. Michele also reads a listener's dilemma about loyalty in friendships and offers candid advice on handling frenemies with grace.
With humor and real talk, Michele explores the benefits of unplugging and embracing solitude for personal growth. Tune in to learn how protecting your peace is a wise move, not a weakness, and why silence can truly be golden.
00:00:00 --> 00:00:24 Music.
00:00:24 --> 00:00:29 Welcome in to another episode of Talk to Me, Michelle, with that one L.
00:00:29 --> 00:00:33 I'm your host, Michelle. How you guys doing out there? I want to give a shout
00:00:33 --> 00:00:35 out first of all to the new subscribers.
00:00:36 --> 00:00:41 And if you have not subscribed, what you waiting on, go ahead and follow me
00:00:41 --> 00:00:43 on your favorite podcast platform.
00:00:43 --> 00:00:48 I like to keep it a little funny, a little sassy over here, but I also want to keep it 100.
00:00:48 --> 00:00:55 I want to talk about why being quiet is not weak. is actually the new flex.
00:00:55 --> 00:00:59 But before I get into the talk topic, let me go ahead and get into the segment.
00:01:00 --> 00:01:04 Dear Michelle, we have got a very, very interesting letter that I can surely relate to.
00:01:09 --> 00:01:15 Dear Michelle, I love your show and had to write in about the situation that's been bothering me.
00:01:15 --> 00:01:19 One of my close girlfriends is still cool with some women I do not rock with.
00:01:19 --> 00:01:22 I'm not talking about I just don't like them.
00:01:23 --> 00:01:27 These women have crossed me, thrown shade, and straight up disrespected me.
00:01:27 --> 00:01:32 She swears up and down that she's neutral and doesn't get involved with the drama.
00:01:33 --> 00:01:38 But I can't lie. When I see her laughing it up with them on Instagram or showing
00:01:38 --> 00:01:40 up at the same brunch table, I feel a way.
00:01:41 --> 00:01:46 It doesn't just sit right with me. Am I being immature or is she playing the fence?
00:01:46 --> 00:01:51 I really don't know if I can trust her. Tired of squinting at frenemies,
00:01:51 --> 00:01:54 I've been here before I'm telling you First hand I know
00:01:54 --> 00:01:57 what you're talking about So you say you tired of
00:01:57 --> 00:02:00 squinting at frenemies I hear that loud and clear because
00:02:00 --> 00:02:04 that squint That's really your intuition Trying
00:02:04 --> 00:02:08 to read the fine print on her loyalty contract Now I'm going to be fair Some
00:02:08 --> 00:02:14 people are professional peacemakers They'll tell you they're Switzerland Sipping
00:02:14 --> 00:02:18 sangria in the middle of a war zone But real friends know where the landmines
00:02:18 --> 00:02:22 are and don't go dancing with them with your enemies on any given Sunday.
00:02:23 --> 00:02:25 The whole I don't get involved vibe.
00:02:26 --> 00:02:30 Cute in theory, but when you're out here having to heal from betrayal.
00:02:31 --> 00:02:35 She's at brunch passing the hot sauce to people that hurt you, that's a no-go for me.
00:02:35 --> 00:02:40 That's me personally. And I'm not saying she has to unfollow everybody you have
00:02:40 --> 00:02:43 a beef with, but if her loyalty makes you question her energy,
00:02:43 --> 00:02:45 you already have your answer.
00:02:45 --> 00:02:49 You don't need to fight about it, But maybe let her enjoy her little neutral
00:02:49 --> 00:02:52 parade over there while you over here protecting your peace.
00:02:52 --> 00:02:57 And keep in mind, people who say I don't take sides usually already picked one.
00:02:57 --> 00:02:59 They just want you to still talk to them.
00:03:00 --> 00:03:04 I'm telling you, I had to make this move myself personally. Had an affiliate
00:03:04 --> 00:03:07 that rocked with everybody that did us dirty.
00:03:07 --> 00:03:09 Had something to say shady about us.
00:03:10 --> 00:03:13 And I'm just like, okay, how can you be cool? Oh, I don't get involved.
00:03:13 --> 00:03:17 And I'm like, I smell it. I smell the fertilizer a mile away.
00:03:18 --> 00:03:22 So just stay woke. I mean, go with your gut instinct. It's already saying this ain't it.
00:03:25 --> 00:03:31 All right, let's get to it. The topic of the episode. why the new loud is being quiet.
00:03:31 --> 00:03:37 The power of silence. I want to tell y'all the hiatus that saved my sanity personally.
00:03:37 --> 00:03:39 And you know what's wild?
00:03:39 --> 00:03:43 During the pandemic, social media was like our group therapy,
00:03:44 --> 00:03:46 happy hour in town meeting all rolled up in one.
00:03:47 --> 00:03:52 You know, we were bored. We were scared, locked up, and stuck in house clothes.
00:03:52 --> 00:03:54 So naturally, we turned to the internet.
00:03:54 --> 00:03:58 We connected with people, made some homies, made a few enemies,
00:03:58 --> 00:04:02 and let's be honest, some folks got a little too comfortable being messy behind the screen.
00:04:03 --> 00:04:05 Then the world opened back up,
00:04:05 --> 00:04:10 and I noticed something. People actually forgot how to act in real life.
00:04:10 --> 00:04:14 Like, actual human interaction became a lost art.
00:04:14 --> 00:04:19 Folks were having full-blown emotional breakdowns over likes and unfollows.
00:04:19 --> 00:04:20 I mean, it was ridiculous.
00:04:21 --> 00:04:26 And the straw that broke the camel's back for me, it was this completely pointless
00:04:26 --> 00:04:30 high school level drama aimed at my sister on social media.
00:04:30 --> 00:04:34 Now, if you know me, you know I've been down this road before.
00:04:34 --> 00:04:37 People have really tried to turn my sister and me against each other.
00:04:37 --> 00:04:42 They're online like we're two wrestlers in a pre-fight promo or something.
00:04:43 --> 00:04:46 What are y'all trying to do? Y'all trying to be producers of the next reality
00:04:46 --> 00:04:49 show, Sister Beef, the social media chronicles?
00:04:50 --> 00:04:54 And that's when I say, you know what? I'm out. I'm out. There was no dramatic
00:04:54 --> 00:04:57 post, no taking a break, y'all, PSA.
00:04:57 --> 00:04:59 I just stopped feeding the circus.
00:04:59 --> 00:05:04 I realized how much time and energy I was wasting scrolling through timelines
00:05:04 --> 00:05:09 full of people I wouldn't even loan $5 to, let alone trust them to water my
00:05:09 --> 00:05:11 plants or even pass me a napkin at lunch.
00:05:12 --> 00:05:17 Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not completely gone. I still post in my stories
00:05:17 --> 00:05:21 now and then, but the days of me going live just to talk to a bunch of people
00:05:21 --> 00:05:25 with popcorn and bad intentions are done and over with.
00:05:25 --> 00:05:27 I check in, post a little, and I'm out.
00:05:28 --> 00:05:32 The rest of the day, I have got things to do. I got checklists to check,
00:05:32 --> 00:05:35 peace to protect, and my edges to preserve.
00:05:35 --> 00:05:38 And let me tell you, the peace is unmatched.
00:05:39 --> 00:05:44 I'm not exposing myself to random energy anymore. And if you've ever taken a
00:05:44 --> 00:05:48 break from social media just to see how real life feels without all the noise,
00:05:48 --> 00:05:51 I'm going to highly recommend you do that.
00:05:51 --> 00:05:57 I do because I've learned sometimes the best way to protect your power is just to be quiet.
00:05:58 --> 00:06:02 Disappear a little. Not everything or everyone needs access to you.
00:06:02 --> 00:06:04 Now, I'm going to talk about silence.
00:06:04 --> 00:06:08 Not the awkward type of silence that you experience at the dinner table.
00:06:08 --> 00:06:10 I'm talking about intentional silence.
00:06:11 --> 00:06:15 Choosing not to react, not to respond, not to repost.
00:06:15 --> 00:06:19 In this world where everybody's out here yelling their every thought to the
00:06:19 --> 00:06:21 digital world, silence is power.
00:06:21 --> 00:06:25 You know what takes real strength these days? Not responding.
00:06:26 --> 00:06:29 Not responding to a shady post that you think is about you.
00:06:30 --> 00:06:35 Not going off on people on Instagram. You know, with a good story or a gem drop.
00:06:35 --> 00:06:37 You know, it's just not worth it.
00:06:37 --> 00:06:41 Not jumping on your phone to prove something. defend yourself,
00:06:41 --> 00:06:44 or let folks know what time it is. I choose silence.
00:06:44 --> 00:06:50 Not because I'm scared. That definitely is not it. And not because I'm fake. It's because I'm grown.
00:06:51 --> 00:06:56 I'm very selective now. And let me tell you, that's a sexy kind of growth.
00:06:56 --> 00:07:00 People out here think silence means you hiding. No, I'm healing.
00:07:00 --> 00:07:04 I'm resting. I'm watching. And I'm planning.
00:07:04 --> 00:07:10 You ever notice how the loudest people online are? usually the ones doing the least in real life.
00:07:10 --> 00:07:15 Always hollering, always performing, but can't return a phone call,
00:07:15 --> 00:07:18 can't keep a job, can't show up for people in real life.
00:07:18 --> 00:07:21 But they got a whole think piece in these comments.
00:07:22 --> 00:07:26 I'm gonna tell you what silence has done for me. It's given me clarity.
00:07:26 --> 00:07:32 Without the noise of 17 people's opinion about what I should be doing,
00:07:32 --> 00:07:36 I actually know what I want. That's a novel concept.
00:07:36 --> 00:07:40 And the creativity is flowing. I mean, I've always been a creative person.
00:07:40 --> 00:07:44 But now I'm just like without all that goo and muck in my brain.
00:07:44 --> 00:07:48 The ideas are just popping into my head. I'm getting better sleep.
00:07:48 --> 00:07:53 Do you know how much more rest you get when you are not mentally fighting people
00:07:53 --> 00:07:55 in your head over passive aggressive posts?
00:07:56 --> 00:08:01 Fewer headaches. No more why does she tag me in that. The migraines are gone.
00:08:01 --> 00:08:06 I have less comparison. I no longer care what you bought, what you wore,
00:08:06 --> 00:08:12 or what your soft life looks like with a Paris filter slapped on it. I'm living my own story.
00:08:12 --> 00:08:16 And it's juicy, it's peaceful, and it's drama-free.
00:08:16 --> 00:08:20 You know that quote, silence is not empty, it's full of answers?
00:08:20 --> 00:08:25 Listen, sometimes God, your gut, your peace of mind, or whatever you believe
00:08:25 --> 00:08:31 in, can't even get a word in. because you're too busy making noise or listening
00:08:31 --> 00:08:34 to some noise. It's nonsense.
00:08:35 --> 00:08:39 Silence helped me figure out who I was without having the feedback loop,
00:08:40 --> 00:08:44 without the constant dopamine that hits from the hearts in the comments,
00:08:44 --> 00:08:49 without people asking to validate what I already know down deep inside.
00:08:49 --> 00:08:55 And let me be real, the silence also keeps you classy because if I ever said
00:08:55 --> 00:08:57 what I really wanted to say to a few people.
00:08:58 --> 00:09:03 I'd be doing this podcast from an undisclosed location in a witness protection
00:09:03 --> 00:09:08 wig, sipping calameel tea and whispering, I'm not the same woman I was.
00:09:08 --> 00:09:11 I'm telling you, that would be me.
00:09:11 --> 00:09:14 But I choose silence. And that's power.
00:09:14 --> 00:09:19 You got to try it sometimes because you might just fall in love with the sound of your own peace.
00:09:20 --> 00:09:23 And please let me say this, and I want y'all to really take this in.
00:09:23 --> 00:09:26 You do not have to explain yourself to everybody.
00:09:26 --> 00:09:31 You don't owe the world a press release every time you choose peace over pettiness.
00:09:32 --> 00:09:35 Sometimes you just go quiet, not because you're being shady,
00:09:35 --> 00:09:37 but because you're saving your energy.
00:09:38 --> 00:09:43 And not everybody deserves a response or even a reaction or your Wi-Fi.
00:09:44 --> 00:09:47 You're going to hear people say things and they'll
00:09:47 --> 00:09:51 say little things till you try to jab at you oh you acting funny now you've
00:09:51 --> 00:09:57 been real quiet lately and like no I'm just being real peaceful but peace looks
00:09:57 --> 00:10:01 funny to people who are addicted to drama and I'm gonna get this straight don't
00:10:01 --> 00:10:06 mistake my silence for weakness I just don't have time for the nonsense today or tomorrow.
00:10:07 --> 00:10:10 Especially when it comes to friendships. Now, I'm going to go back to that letter
00:10:10 --> 00:10:14 that I read earlier from Miss I'm Friends With Everybody.
00:10:14 --> 00:10:20 How? You know, how are you cool with people who don't like me and you claim
00:10:20 --> 00:10:24 you stay out of it, but somehow you always got front row seats to the mess?
00:10:24 --> 00:10:28 That's when silence becomes your shield. I don't have to argue.
00:10:28 --> 00:10:32 I don't have to block you or even make a dramatic exit. I'm just going to fall back.
00:10:33 --> 00:10:37 My silence tells you all you need to know. Like, I've peeped the energy,
00:10:37 --> 00:10:42 and I've adjusted accordingly, and I'm not about to do the emotional Olympics with you today.
00:10:43 --> 00:10:46 You don't need to tell people they're moving funny when you could just stop
00:10:46 --> 00:10:48 entertaining them. That's it.
00:10:49 --> 00:10:53 That's the post. And yes, silence might make some people uncomfortable,
00:10:53 --> 00:10:57 but that's between them and their guilt. Has nothing to do with you.
00:10:58 --> 00:11:01 People who are used to having the access, the chaos, or control,
00:11:02 --> 00:11:07 they hate when you get quiet because now they can't predict you. They can't provoke you.
00:11:07 --> 00:11:11 Most importantly, you can't be used for entertainment.
00:11:11 --> 00:11:16 So if ever anyone tries to make you feel bad about protecting your peace and
00:11:16 --> 00:11:21 silence, just hit them with a smile and then go back to not texting them back.
00:11:22 --> 00:11:26 That's it. You got to remember that your silence is not petty. It's protection.
00:11:27 --> 00:11:31 And if they don't get that, they probably were the noise all along.
00:11:31 --> 00:11:37 Now, I'm going to get into the glow up that comes when you just shut the hell up sometimes.
00:11:37 --> 00:11:43 And I mean that with love, of course, because listen, the old me felt the need to address everything.
00:11:44 --> 00:11:48 And now I'm like, I love it here. This is the land of peace,
00:11:48 --> 00:11:51 the boundaries, the mind in my business.
00:11:51 --> 00:11:55 And I'm going to break it down because this is what I've gained from being quiet.
00:11:55 --> 00:11:59 I'm more productive. When I tell you the amount of time I've reclaimed since
00:11:59 --> 00:12:02 I've stopped trying to keep up with everybody's drama online.
00:12:02 --> 00:12:08 Oh, I'm telling you, so much can get done. I be knocking out my to-do list like
00:12:08 --> 00:12:09 I'm getting paid for task.
00:12:10 --> 00:12:13 While folks are, you know, on social media posting these long paragraphs about
00:12:13 --> 00:12:18 who stole whose man, I'm over here finishing projects, sending invoices,
00:12:19 --> 00:12:20 exfoliating, I'm living.
00:12:21 --> 00:12:26 Also more rest. When you shut the noise off, your body literally thanks you.
00:12:27 --> 00:12:33 No more staying up late crafting the perfect clap back. No more scrolling until your thumbs go numb.
00:12:33 --> 00:12:37 I've been sleeping like a baby with a clear conscience. The kind of sleep where
00:12:37 --> 00:12:41 you wake up and don't even remember what day it is. That's the kind of rest I needed.
00:12:42 --> 00:12:43 And my boundaries have gotten better.
00:12:44 --> 00:12:48 Being quiet helps you figure out who respects your peace and who only comes
00:12:48 --> 00:12:52 around to disturb it. I started recognizing the energy vampires.
00:12:52 --> 00:12:56 You know, the people who call you, they dump their drama, then they vanish like
00:12:56 --> 00:12:58 this at therapy via voicemail.
00:12:58 --> 00:13:02 Now I just don't even answer. And guess what? The world didn't end.
00:13:03 --> 00:13:08 And you also know what happens when you stop performing. You find out who you really are.
00:13:08 --> 00:13:12 What you really like, and spoiler alert, a lot of the things I thought I cared
00:13:12 --> 00:13:16 about were really just me trying to keep up with everybody else's highlight reel.
00:13:16 --> 00:13:21 And now, like, I do what I want to do, and I don't need a panel of people in
00:13:21 --> 00:13:22 the comments voting on it.
00:13:23 --> 00:13:25 Let me be brutally honest with you guys for a second.
00:13:26 --> 00:13:29 Sometimes the loudest people are the most insecure.
00:13:30 --> 00:13:33 Like, if you got to announce every 30 seconds how unbothered you are,
00:13:33 --> 00:13:35 I'm going to go ahead and assume you're bothered.
00:13:36 --> 00:13:40 Meanwhile, as quiet folks, we're out here building empires, drinking water,
00:13:40 --> 00:13:45 checking in with our therapists, silencing group chats like it's a competitive sport.
00:13:46 --> 00:13:50 It's giving grown woman, grown man. It's giving healed. It's giving.
00:13:51 --> 00:13:56 You can't disturb what you can't have access to. So if anyone makes you ever
00:13:56 --> 00:14:02 feel like you're weird for going quiet, keep in mind, they're loud because they need that attention.
00:14:02 --> 00:14:05 You're quiet because you have intention.
00:14:05 --> 00:14:09 So I want to encourage you guys to do something bold this week.
00:14:09 --> 00:14:11 Try being quiet on purpose.
00:14:12 --> 00:14:16 Not because you're mad, not because you're overthinking. Just because.
00:14:17 --> 00:14:22 Step back, be quiet, and watch what falls away and what stays.
00:14:23 --> 00:14:27 That right there, that's how you find out what actually deserves your energy
00:14:27 --> 00:14:30 and what just needs your attention to survive.
00:14:30 --> 00:14:33 And don't worry, some people are going to take it personal.
00:14:34 --> 00:14:37 Let them. You're not being cold, you're just being clear.
00:14:37 --> 00:14:43 So here's your homework. Send me a DM or an email at TalkToMeMichelle on your
00:14:43 --> 00:14:45 own power of silence moment.
00:14:45 --> 00:14:49 Whether you ghosted a toxic friend, stopped arguing with your cousin in the
00:14:49 --> 00:14:54 group chat, or simply turned off your phone and watched Netflix in peace.
00:14:54 --> 00:14:56 Because silence is a story too.
00:14:59 --> 00:15:03 All right, we're going to wrap up this episode. But before I let you guys go,
00:15:03 --> 00:15:06 keep in mind, being quiet doesn't mean you're weak.
00:15:07 --> 00:15:12 It means you're wise. It means you stop explaining yourself to people who never listened anyway.
00:15:12 --> 00:15:17 It means you figured out that protecting your peace ain't petty. It's necessary.
00:15:17 --> 00:15:21 So go ahead and take a social media break say
00:15:21 --> 00:15:24 no without the five paragraph explanation and let
00:15:24 --> 00:15:27 silence be your reset button now if
00:15:27 --> 00:15:30 you love this episode make sure you subscribe on your favorite podcast
00:15:30 --> 00:15:34 platform so you don't miss out on these gems and listen
00:15:34 --> 00:15:37 if you need to vent you already know write me at
00:15:37 --> 00:15:40 dear michelle that's at talk to me michelle at gmail.com
00:15:40 --> 00:15:43 i love your messy heartfelt funny
00:15:43 --> 00:15:46 letters just keep them coming and don't
00:15:46 --> 00:15:51 forget to check out other great podcasts on the mbg podcast network and if you
00:15:51 --> 00:15:55 want to support this show because your girl loves caffeine you can do that at
00:15:55 --> 00:15:59 buymeacoffee.com backslash talk to me michelle that's going to do it for this
00:15:59 --> 00:16:04 episode i will see you guys next episode till then i'm out peace,
00:16:07 --> 00:16:09 Talk to me, Michelle.
Related Episodes
Episode 71: Race and Privilege: Todd Chrisley Speaks Out on Inmate Inequality
In this episode of "Talk to Me, Michele," we dive deep into the harsh realities of race and privilege within the prison system, sparked by Todd Chrisley's eye-opening experiences. As a freshly pardoned reality star, Chrisley sheds light on the stark, unequal treatment of black inmates compared to th...
Episode 69: Tina Knowles' Woke Up Moment
In this episode of "Talk to Me, Michele," we dive headfirst into the intricate dynamic of friendship and weddings with a segment dubbed "Friendship Friction." A listener seeks advice on dealing with a brewing conflict in her close-knit group after a couple from the group decides not to invite a frie...
Episode 68: Sweet Talk, Sour Intentions
In this compelling episode of "Talk to Me, Michele," we delve deep into the intricacies of modern relationships. Our letter of the week captures the heartache of feeling overshadowed by a partner's social life, sparking a conversation on setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing connection. The di...