Welcome to another enlightening episode of 'Talk To Me, Michele,' where your host, Michele, dives deep into the concept of self-patience inspired by a stirring speech from Minister Farrakhan. This episode is all about recognizing the journey of growth and giving ourselves the understanding and kindness we often reserve for others.
Michele highlights the importance of silencing the critical inner voices that nag us about not being enough. Drawing from personal experiences, she emphasizes that self-doubt only holds us back and it's crucial to celebrate our little victories and trust in our progress.
Listeners will learn practical steps to combat negativity, set realistic expectations for themselves, and cherish each step of their journey. Tune in to redefine self-improvement and transform that inner critic into a supportive ally. This episode will inspire you to be more patient and loving towards yourself as you navigate life's challenges.
00:00:00 --> 00:00:26 Music.
00:00:26 --> 00:00:29 Welcome in to another episode of Talk To Me, Michelle. I am your host,
00:00:30 --> 00:00:33 Michelle, with one L. What is popping, everybody?
00:00:33 --> 00:00:37 This is your first time tuning in. Don't make it your last. If you need a podcast
00:00:37 --> 00:00:39 where you can laugh, learn, and
00:00:39 --> 00:00:44 be real, and hey, sometimes I call myself out, this is the place to be.
00:00:44 --> 00:00:50 And I want to thank my Instagram followers because I left the topic of conversation on them this week.
00:00:51 --> 00:00:56 Yes, I did. I put up a story, and I gave my followers two choices of topics,
00:00:56 --> 00:00:59 and they chose the topic. Drumroll, please.
00:01:03 --> 00:01:09 Being patient with yourself. And trust me, I need this message just as much as you guys do.
00:01:09 --> 00:01:15 This conversation was inspired by a powerful speech from Minister Farrakhan. Patient with yourself.
00:01:15 --> 00:01:19 You'll be up one day, and down the next.
00:01:19 --> 00:01:21 You'll be pleased one day and
00:01:21 --> 00:01:27 displeased the next. You'll be peaceful one day and very angry the next.
00:01:27 --> 00:01:32 But be patient with yourself because God is not through with you yet.
00:01:33 --> 00:01:37 Don't look in the mirror and talk down to you.
00:01:38 --> 00:01:42 Oh, man, you's a no good. Yeah, that's true. But that's not you.
00:01:42 --> 00:01:46 That's the enemy in you. Self-accusing spirit.
00:01:47 --> 00:01:53 When that's whipping you like that, just say, okay, if you will forgive me and
00:01:53 --> 00:01:57 have mercy on me and strengthen me, I'll strive harder tomorrow.
00:01:58 --> 00:02:02 To be better. And what he said, that hit my soul. I'm trying to tell you,
00:02:02 --> 00:02:06 I have dragged myself in the mirror more times than I can count.
00:02:06 --> 00:02:10 You ever look at yourself and just think, girl, what are you even doing?
00:02:10 --> 00:02:16 Like, I will hype up a friend all day long, but when it comes to me, it's a roast session.
00:02:16 --> 00:02:20 And I know I'm not the only one. We all do this.
00:02:20 --> 00:02:25 We are our own worst critics. We are nitpicking at every little thing about
00:02:25 --> 00:02:29 ourselves, doubting ourselves, getting frustrated when we're not there yet,
00:02:29 --> 00:02:31 whatever there yet looks like.
00:02:31 --> 00:02:35 For some reason, we expect to go from beginner to expert overnight.
00:02:35 --> 00:02:42 There is no just-add-ward solution. No stops, no breaks, just pure perfection.
00:02:42 --> 00:02:45 But life doesn't work like that, and neither do we.
00:02:45 --> 00:02:50 So today, we're going to talk about why we need to stop being so damn hard on
00:02:50 --> 00:02:55 ourselves, how self-doubt holds us back, and how we can start treating ourselves
00:02:55 --> 00:02:59 with the same kindness and patience that we give to others. Sound good?
00:02:59 --> 00:03:01 Cool. Let's get into it.
00:03:01 --> 00:03:06 I want to address these voices that we all have in our heads.
00:03:06 --> 00:03:10 You know, that little hater that lives rent-free in your head,
00:03:10 --> 00:03:14 and somehow they've got a PhD and telling us that we're not good enough.
00:03:14 --> 00:03:19 One day you're feeling yourself walking past mirrors like, okay, girl, I see you.
00:03:20 --> 00:03:24 Next day, the same mirror, same lighting. But suddenly you're looking like,
00:03:24 --> 00:03:26 who the hell let me out the house looking like this?
00:03:27 --> 00:03:31 And this is where we mess up because we believe every bad thing we tell ourselves.
00:03:31 --> 00:03:35 We let that inner critic talk crazy to us like we're not the same people who
00:03:35 --> 00:03:39 just survived every bad day we've ever had. But let's flip it real quick.
00:03:39 --> 00:03:43 Imagine your best friend coming to you and they're saying things like,
00:03:43 --> 00:03:46 I'm not feeling good enough. I keep failing.
00:03:46 --> 00:03:51 I don't think I'll ever get it right. What would you say? Would you be like,
00:03:51 --> 00:03:53 yeah, girl, you are right. You are trash.
00:03:54 --> 00:03:59 You would not say that. At least I hope you wouldn't. But you're going to hype her up.
00:03:59 --> 00:04:04 You remind her of all the times that she succeeded, the things that she's overcome,
00:04:04 --> 00:04:06 and tell her to give herself some damn grace.
00:04:07 --> 00:04:10 But when it comes to ourselves, it's a whole different story.
00:04:10 --> 00:04:16 We wake up, we look in the mirror, and go full villain mode. Oh, you again?
00:04:16 --> 00:04:22 Look at you. Still not where you want to be. Still struggling. Still.
00:04:23 --> 00:04:27 Whatever nonsense we come up with that day. But Minister Farrakhan also said,
00:04:28 --> 00:04:29 be patient with yourself.
00:04:29 --> 00:04:31 God is not through with you yet.
00:04:31 --> 00:04:36 Meaning, you're still in progress. You might not be where you want to be,
00:04:36 --> 00:04:40 but you sure aren't where you used to be at. And that matters.
00:04:40 --> 00:04:44 So from now on, when you hear that little voice in your head, check it.
00:04:44 --> 00:04:48 Just check that voice like you would anybody being disrespectful when it tried
00:04:48 --> 00:04:49 to pop off with negativity.
00:04:50 --> 00:04:53 We're going to treat it like it's that one auntie who's always got something
00:04:53 --> 00:04:54 to say but don't pay no bills.
00:04:55 --> 00:04:59 Politely ignore it. Move on. Because trust me, you're doing better than you think.
00:05:00 --> 00:05:04 The reality of the situation is self-doubt is a hater.
00:05:05 --> 00:05:08 But somehow we keep letting it ride shotgun in our lives.
00:05:09 --> 00:05:14 And for what? I can't tell y'all how many times I've psyched myself out over some nonsense.
00:05:15 --> 00:05:21 Like, I'll be getting ready, feeling good, then boom, one crooked eyelash or
00:05:21 --> 00:05:24 a bad hair day, and suddenly I'm convinced I shouldn't leave the house.
00:05:24 --> 00:05:29 Like, calm down, okay? It's just edges and mascara. It's not the end of the world.
00:05:29 --> 00:05:33 And y'all may not believe this, but I do get nervous when it comes to conversations
00:05:33 --> 00:05:38 because sometimes I'll be like mid-sentence thinking, Are they even interested?
00:05:38 --> 00:05:42 Am I talking too much? Do I sound dumb?
00:05:43 --> 00:05:47 Meanwhile, the other person is just over there nodding, vibing,
00:05:47 --> 00:05:49 and probably not overthinking a damn thing.
00:05:50 --> 00:05:53 Self-doubt will have you convinced you sound like Charlie Brown's teacher when
00:05:53 --> 00:05:56 you really are given a TED Talk energy.
00:05:58 --> 00:06:02 I know I'm not the only one who's talked themselves out of a good opportunity.
00:06:03 --> 00:06:06 Now, many times you have thought about doing something, starting a new project,
00:06:07 --> 00:06:13 applying for a new job, speaking up in the room, but then you hit yourself with, nah, I ain't ready yet.
00:06:13 --> 00:06:18 Even worse, somebody else is probably better at it. That's what you're telling yourself.
00:06:18 --> 00:06:23 Let me tell you something. There's always going to be somebody better at it,
00:06:23 --> 00:06:25 but that doesn't mean they should be the only ones doing it.
00:06:26 --> 00:06:29 There's a fine line between self-improvement and self-sabotage.
00:06:30 --> 00:06:34 Yes, we should strive to do better, but that doesn't mean that we aren't good
00:06:34 --> 00:06:37 enough right now. Growth is a process.
00:06:37 --> 00:06:42 But we get so impatient, especially me. I'm very impatient with certain things.
00:06:43 --> 00:06:48 Expecting to go from rookie to goat overnight, we want results instantly.
00:06:48 --> 00:06:53 And when we don't get them, we start doubting ourselves. Let me put it to you this way.
00:06:54 --> 00:06:58 You can't put a frozen turkey in the oven and expect Thanksgiving dinner to
00:06:58 --> 00:07:00 be ready in five minutes.
00:07:00 --> 00:07:03 That's not going to happen. It doesn't work like that.
00:07:03 --> 00:07:08 Just like you can't expect to be an expert at something suddenly or everything
00:07:08 --> 00:07:09 in your life should be perfect.
00:07:09 --> 00:07:13 Success, confidence, self-love, all that takes time.
00:07:13 --> 00:07:17 So the next time self-doubt creeps in, tell it to shut the hell up.
00:07:18 --> 00:07:22 Shut the hell up, okay? Remind yourself you are a work in progress,
00:07:22 --> 00:07:24 and that's a beautiful thing.
00:07:24 --> 00:07:29 Because at the end of the day, the only thing worse than failing is never even trying.
00:07:30 --> 00:07:34 All right, we've talked about the problem, the self-doubt, impatience,
00:07:34 --> 00:07:36 that little hater voice in your head.
00:07:36 --> 00:07:40 Now we're going to talk about how we can fix it. Because we're not about to
00:07:40 --> 00:07:42 keep playing ourselves like this.
00:07:42 --> 00:07:46 It's time to get out of our own way and start actually being kind to ourselves.
00:07:46 --> 00:07:51 So let me get some practical steps in here, because if we could be patient on
00:07:51 --> 00:07:55 waiting on Amazon Prime, even though we still check the tracking every five
00:07:55 --> 00:07:57 minutes, we can have patience with ourselves.
00:07:58 --> 00:08:02 First thing we got to do is refrain from negative thoughts. Your thoughts,
00:08:02 --> 00:08:05 they could be like an annoying DJ, you know, playing all that mumble rap,
00:08:05 --> 00:08:07 the crap you do not like to hear.
00:08:07 --> 00:08:10 You got to change the track when it starts playing that nonsense.
00:08:11 --> 00:08:14 The next time you catch yourself saying, I'm not good enough,
00:08:14 --> 00:08:16 I need you to stop and say, I'm still growing.
00:08:17 --> 00:08:21 And instead of saying, I'll never get this right, I'm learning as I go.
00:08:21 --> 00:08:25 Because let's be real, nobody wakes up knowing everything.
00:08:25 --> 00:08:27 Even Beyonce had to practice.
00:08:28 --> 00:08:32 Celebrate your small wins because we love to ignore our little victories,
00:08:32 --> 00:08:35 only focusing on the big ones. And that's a problem.
00:08:36 --> 00:08:40 You think just because you haven't hit the big goal yet, you're not making progress?
00:08:41 --> 00:08:45 Mm-mm. Every little step counts. You finally started something that you were
00:08:45 --> 00:08:47 scared to do? That's a win.
00:08:47 --> 00:08:51 You didn't talk yourself out of an opportunity, right? That's another win.
00:08:52 --> 00:08:55 You got out of bed even if you didn't feel like it.
00:08:55 --> 00:08:57 Major win. Big damn win.
00:08:58 --> 00:09:02 Give yourself credit because if you don't, who will? And also set realistic
00:09:02 --> 00:09:07 expectations because Rome wasn't built in the day. Neither is your success.
00:09:07 --> 00:09:11 We all want these instant results, but that isn't how life works.
00:09:12 --> 00:09:16 You ever try baking a cake and get mad just because it didn't rise in the first five minutes?
00:09:16 --> 00:09:21 No. You trust the process and let it do what it needs to do.
00:09:21 --> 00:09:25 Same with life. You're in the oven right now. Don't rush your greatness.
00:09:26 --> 00:09:30 And practice some self-compassion. If you wouldn't say to your best friend,
00:09:31 --> 00:09:33 why the hell are you saying that to yourself?
00:09:33 --> 00:09:39 Would you ever tell your friend, hey, you suck, you'll never be good at this, just quit now.
00:09:39 --> 00:09:44 No, you'd be hyping them up, telling them how amazing they are,
00:09:44 --> 00:09:46 reminding them that the setbacks are part of the journey.
00:09:47 --> 00:09:49 So now how about you start doing it to yourself?
00:09:49 --> 00:09:53 Treat yourself as you would your friend and trust divine timing.
00:09:53 --> 00:09:57 That's a hard one because we like to think we're behind.
00:09:57 --> 00:10:01 Like I should be further along by now. This should have happened already.
00:10:02 --> 00:10:03 Why am I not where I want to be?
00:10:04 --> 00:10:08 Let me remind you, everything happens exactly when it's supposed to.
00:10:08 --> 00:10:11 Just because you can't see the progress doesn't mean it isn't happening.
00:10:12 --> 00:10:17 Sometimes God is working behind the scenes and you just need to sit down and trust the process.
00:10:17 --> 00:10:21 Because one thing about life, it always unfolds right on time.
00:10:25 --> 00:10:29 All right, let's bring it home. If there's one thing I want you to take away
00:10:29 --> 00:10:31 from today's episode is this.
00:10:31 --> 00:10:37 Be patient with yourself. You are a work in progress. That's okay.
00:10:38 --> 00:10:41 Growth takes time. Success takes time.
00:10:41 --> 00:10:45 And beating yourself up won't make it happen any faster. It'll just make the
00:10:45 --> 00:10:47 journey more miserable, if anything else.
00:10:47 --> 00:10:52 So let's stop talking to ourselves like we're the enemy and start treating ourselves
00:10:52 --> 00:10:55 with the same kindness we give to everybody else. You deserve that.
00:10:57 --> 00:11:02 Before I go, I want you to ask yourself, what's one way you could show yourself more patience today?
00:11:02 --> 00:11:07 Maybe it's giving yourself credit for something small. Maybe it's talking to
00:11:07 --> 00:11:09 yourself like you actually like yourself.
00:11:10 --> 00:11:14 Or maybe it's just taking a deep breath and reminding yourself that you are doing your best.
00:11:15 --> 00:11:18 Whatever it is, do it. Because you owe it to yourself.
00:11:19 --> 00:11:23 If today's episode hit home for you, let me know. Subscribe and share this with
00:11:23 --> 00:11:27 a friend and leave a review. And if there's a topic you want me to tackle,
00:11:27 --> 00:11:33 send me an email at talktomemichelle1l at gmail. I'd love to hear from you.
00:11:33 --> 00:11:38 Also, be sure to check out the MBG Podcast Network to support other amazing
00:11:38 --> 00:11:39 Black voices in podcasting.
00:11:40 --> 00:11:45 And if you're feeling generous, you can support this podcast at buymeacoffee.com
00:11:45 --> 00:11:50 backslash talktomemichelle because this now stays running and coffee keeps it fueled.
00:11:50 --> 00:11:55 Until next episode, I'm out. Peace. you.
00:11:55 --> 00:12:08 Music.
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