Episode 43: Frustrated but Thriving: Turning Irritation into Inspiration

[00:00:09] Talk To Me Michele.

[00:00:25] Welcome in to another episode of Talk To Me Michele.

[00:00:28] I am your host, Michele with 1L and I know my people are doing good out there because the holiday season is among us.

[00:00:35] I promise you, the older I get, the less the holidays resonate with me because there's just so much commercial to it and less human interaction nowadays.

[00:00:45] So I'm just like, ugh, let's just get this done, get to January 1st and just get this party started.

[00:00:50] But anyway, I want to get on a personal note because this episode definitely is hitting personal and it's timely because I have been frustrated this last couple of weeks.

[00:01:00] I'm not going to even lie. I thought it was a few days, but it's really been a couple of weeks.

[00:01:04] I just been frustrated with a lot of stuff and I didn't realize how much it was affecting me.

[00:01:10] It wasn't depression. It just felt different. It was more like a low-grade storm brewing inside me.

[00:01:17] And I found myself snappy, uninterested in doing much, and just flat out annoyed with everything.

[00:01:25] Life wasn't moving at the pace I wanted to and it made me even more frustrated.

[00:01:30] Now for me, it's things like finances. It's always a factor.

[00:01:35] But beyond that, it's a daily filtering of interacting and we all have to deal with it.

[00:01:41] But lately, I've been feeling like I don't want to filter anymore. I'm at that point.

[00:01:45] I just want to acknowledge what's bothering me without having to entertain it.

[00:01:50] But it's not always that simple.

[00:01:52] The latest episode of frustration hit me hard and by surprise, you know, I've been on a spiritual journey.

[00:01:59] I've been trying to do positive vibes and all that good stuff. Let's all sing kumbaya together.

[00:02:03] But it was family related. You know, my dad, bless his heart, he's been doing a little too much lately.

[00:02:09] And one morning, I found myself stuck in some back and forth with him, you know, trying to get him situated.

[00:02:14] And honestly, it just ruined my entire mood.

[00:02:17] And I get it. He'd do the same for me without hesitation.

[00:02:20] But on that particular day, I just wasn't feeling it.

[00:02:23] Then of course, my sister, you know, we're super close and we love each other.

[00:02:26] But we also can frustrate each other and we'll give advice back and forth.

[00:02:32] And sometimes it's taken or it's ignored.

[00:02:34] And when one of us makes it obviously questionable about the choices that one of us makes, it drives one of us nuts.

[00:02:43] It's not about intelligence.

[00:02:46] We're both smart women.

[00:02:47] But frustration has this sneaky way of creeping into even making the best relationships testing.

[00:02:53] And if you don't address it, it can throw you completely off track.

[00:02:57] That's why today I wanted to get into what causes these feelings, share some tools I found helpful and hopefully leave us all with a little bit more positivity and peace by the end of this episode.

[00:03:13] Granted, life is full of little irritations, whether it's something on the news, something that's happening at home or even at work.

[00:03:23] Frustration just finds its way into our daily routines.

[00:03:27] Now, for me, humor is one of my first resources.

[00:03:30] I try to laugh things off whenever I can, even if it's just a little joke I tell to myself in my own head.

[00:03:36] You know, for instance, when somebody does something that's totally predictable, I'll think to myself, typical them.

[00:03:44] And of course, they do that, you know, classic.

[00:03:47] It's a little inside joke I have with myself.

[00:03:50] Sure, it's slightly sarcastic.

[00:03:52] It's sarcastic.

[00:03:52] I get that.

[00:03:53] But it's a way for me to talk myself off the ledge before frustration takes over completely.

[00:03:59] But let's be real.

[00:04:01] Sometimes I need to get the steam off first before I can even see the funny side of things.

[00:04:06] So I want to share some moments with you that will show you how I've learned to channel that frustration to something productive or even positive.

[00:04:15] So there are going to be some examples of those everyday moments that test our patience and how I've learned to navigate them,

[00:04:21] exploring some tools that help manage and redirect frustration for me when I feel it's taken over, whether it's through humor, creativity or just giving myself a moment to breathe.

[00:04:32] And most importantly, look at ways to avoid letting frustration drain the energy from us and focus on turning it into something that works for us, but not against us.

[00:04:46] I know all of us have daily irritations.

[00:04:49] Sometimes.

[00:04:50] And if we're not careful, they can start to fester.

[00:04:53] They stick with us a little bit longer than they should.

[00:04:56] For me, a lot of these moments come from my family.

[00:04:59] You know, because let's face it, when you deal with people on a regular basis, personalities are bound to clash sometimes.

[00:05:06] Take my sister, for example.

[00:05:07] We both have strong personalities and sometimes we bump heads, but sometimes it's irritating because I feel sometimes the conversation can be dominated.

[00:05:16] So my dad, on the other hand, I love him dearly as well.

[00:05:19] But there are moments when he's on my back about something that I need to handle.

[00:05:23] And I just want to scream.

[00:05:24] I got it.

[00:05:25] You don't have to keep nagging me about stuff.

[00:05:28] I got it.

[00:05:29] It just irritating sometimes.

[00:05:30] But family isn't the only source of the little nerve pinching moments.

[00:05:35] Because life throws so much our way, you never know where it's going to come from.

[00:05:40] Just prime examples.

[00:05:41] You know, having to refill the gas tank for me on a regular basis is almost like a daily task for me.

[00:05:47] Because Texas, minimum 30 minutes anywhere.

[00:05:49] Then you got to navigate through 15 tolls in Houston just to get to your destination.

[00:05:54] It seems like it never ends.

[00:05:56] It's either construction or tolls.

[00:05:58] And there's always traffic.

[00:05:59] You know, traffic, people cut you off like they have zero sense of space between the vehicles.

[00:06:06] I mean, you could just be like a pinch away and they just jump in front of you.

[00:06:10] And when it comes to shopping, people right now are walking around stores glued to their phones like zombies.

[00:06:16] They have no sense of direction.

[00:06:18] They'll stand in the middle of the aisle and be talking crazy.

[00:06:22] Be on speaker phones.

[00:06:23] I don't need to hear your conversation while you're in public on a speaker phone.

[00:06:28] So it's obvious, you know, everything is about them and they are not aware of anything going on around them.

[00:06:34] All these daily irritations pile up.

[00:06:37] And before you know it, they're harboring frustration in ways that feel like they'll never go away.

[00:06:43] It's no wonder we find ourselves snapping, feeling overwhelmed sometimes.

[00:06:47] But that's exactly why I want to talk about how not to let these little moments completely derail your peace.

[00:06:53] And more importantly, how to channel all that bottled up frustration to something more positive.

[00:07:00] So why do we get so frustrated?

[00:07:03] First, let's acknowledge one thing.

[00:07:05] Frustration is completely a normal emotional response.

[00:07:10] Everybody experiences it.

[00:07:11] And honestly, it does not take much to send us into that zone, especially if we're already dealing with a buildup of other frustrations beforehand.

[00:07:19] Now, frustration has a couple of places that they just brew from.

[00:07:23] There's key places.

[00:07:24] I'm going to say one for me is unmet expectations.

[00:07:28] And that's an example I'm going to use because you might set a goal to ace a test.

[00:07:33] Maybe you're saving up for a vacation and things just don't go as planned.

[00:07:37] You didn't get the grade you wanted or unexpected expense forced you to dip into your vacation fund.

[00:07:43] So that's a gap between what we hope for and what actually happens.

[00:07:48] And that drives me nuts.

[00:07:50] And I know other people feel my frustration.

[00:07:53] And life has this funny way of reminding us that we're really not in control of everything.

[00:07:58] You might feel like you're doing all the right things.

[00:08:00] You know, you're planning ahead, budgeting, taking care of your responsibilities.

[00:08:04] And yet something always seems to throw a wrench in your plans.

[00:08:09] That lack of control can be infuriating.

[00:08:12] As humans, we naturally try to fight against it.

[00:08:15] I don't know why, but we try to have control on everything and it just does not exist.

[00:08:21] And let's be real.

[00:08:23] Life be doing a lot.

[00:08:24] Okay.

[00:08:25] Between work, family, kids, taking care of yourself.

[00:08:28] It's easy to feel like the way the world's on your shoulders.

[00:08:31] And if you're someone who's putting in the effort every single day, that pressure can pile up quickly.

[00:08:38] Sometimes we try to take on more than we realistically can handle and leaves us feeling completely drained.

[00:08:45] But frustration doesn't just pop out of nowhere.

[00:08:49] It builds.

[00:08:50] It lingers.

[00:08:51] And if we're not careful, it could take a toll on our mental and emotional health.

[00:08:55] But the good news is that understanding why we get frustrated is the first step to managing it.

[00:09:01] So let's try to shift our frustration into positivity.

[00:09:05] Because frustration is inevitable.

[00:09:08] But staying stuck in it doesn't have to be.

[00:09:11] The key of learning to shift that energy into something more productive, something more positive.

[00:09:16] Everyone has different outlets.

[00:09:18] And just finding an outlet can make the difference.

[00:09:20] Now, some tools I found helpful to manage my frustration include pause and breathe.

[00:09:28] The P and B.

[00:09:29] Not peanut butter and jelly.

[00:09:31] But P and B.

[00:09:32] Pause and breathe.

[00:09:33] But sometimes the first thing you do need to do is just take a step back and breathe.

[00:09:38] You know, practicing mindfulness, meditation techniques.

[00:09:42] They can be effective.

[00:09:44] And personally, I meditate every morning for five to ten minutes.

[00:09:48] During that time, I focus on keeping a positive state of mind.

[00:09:52] Speaking affirmations.

[00:09:54] Journaling.

[00:09:55] I'm listening to my frequency music.

[00:09:57] And I'm mainly journaling what I'm thankful for.

[00:10:00] Now that works for me because regardless on how my day goes, I'm starting off my day with gratitude.

[00:10:06] I'm setting a positive tone so it can give me a mental cushion against the challenges of the day.

[00:10:12] So if you do get a point of frustration during the day, all you got to do is pause and take a couple of deep breaths.

[00:10:18] Only takes a minute.

[00:10:20] But it cannot completely reset your mood.

[00:10:22] It's just a way to kind of bring you down.

[00:10:24] Because there have been times I've been irritated by friends.

[00:10:27] You know, friends who seem so distracted when we're talking.

[00:10:31] And it took me some time to realize I felt like my concerns weren't being taken seriously.

[00:10:36] So I eventually spoke to these friends.

[00:10:39] I'm like, either we're going to talk or you need to go ahead and do what you got to do.

[00:10:42] And we reached a mutual understanding.

[00:10:45] And they were like, well, thank you for pointing that out.

[00:10:47] You know, hey, and it's all about how you bring something to somebody.

[00:10:50] Don't just think you can go in there talking crazy.

[00:10:52] Because that's how I am.

[00:10:53] The tone you bring it in is the tone you're going to get it back in.

[00:10:56] So what I need you to do is say, hey, I would like to talk to you about this.

[00:11:00] It's all good.

[00:11:01] But it's, you know, really great in my ass.

[00:11:04] Just letting you know.

[00:11:05] Now this works better because addressing the root issue prevents a lingering resentment and helps you take more of a meaningful action.

[00:11:12] And frustration can be a powerful motivator when used correctly.

[00:11:17] Instead of letting it fester, let's turn it into something productive or creative.

[00:11:22] So personally, what I do when I'm feeling frustrated, I turn to my creative outlets.

[00:11:28] Today, for example, I channeled my frustration into preparing this episode and designing the flyer.

[00:11:35] So by the time I get through with all of this, I have had not only work through my emotions, but I've also accomplished something that's meaningful.

[00:11:42] Now, of course, you have other options.

[00:11:44] You could try yoga, painting, cooking, journaling.

[00:11:47] I don't do the yoga, but you know, or the painting, but cooking and journaling.

[00:11:51] I got that.

[00:11:52] Take a walk.

[00:11:52] Hit the gym just to release some pent up energy.

[00:11:56] This also works because you don't have to be stuck in a negative cycle.

[00:11:59] You're actively transforming that energy into something positive and rewarding.

[00:12:05] Frustration doesn't have to control your day by pausing to breathe, digging into the root cause and channeling your emotions into action.

[00:12:13] You can regain control and even use these moments as opportunities for growth and creativity.

[00:12:18] Let's make frustration positive.

[00:12:20] How do you do that?

[00:12:21] Let's talk about some creative outlets like I just went over a couple of mine.

[00:12:25] But when frustration strikes, I find that creative outlets can be a lifesaver.

[00:12:31] They help me process emotions.

[00:12:33] You can express yourself and redirect your energy into something positive.

[00:12:38] So a few ways I channel my frustration, I'm writing.

[00:12:42] Again, I do the journal writing and I also have two different journals.

[00:12:46] One for the thankfulness and one where I need to vent because I don't want to combine all that energy because I want to start my day off positive.

[00:12:54] But if I have a bump in the road during the day, I need to go ahead and vent.

[00:12:58] So let me go ahead and write that out.

[00:12:59] The beauty of it is that you can get everything off your chest without anybody interrupting you, judging you.

[00:13:05] Writing things down to make your frustrations feel more manageable because seeing them on paper or on a screen, it helps you process them better.

[00:13:14] I often journal my thoughts when I'm feeling overwhelmed, starting with the prompt like what's really bothering me right now?

[00:13:22] Or how can I flip this into something positive?

[00:13:25] Now, podcasting is one of my favorite creative outlets.

[00:13:28] It gives me the space to have honest conversations, whether with myself or others about life, emotions and challenges we all face.

[00:13:37] Sharing these experiences not only helps me process my feelings, but also connects me with listeners who might be going through the same thing.

[00:13:45] Like if I'm preparing for this episode, this was a good way for me to channel my frustration into something productive.

[00:13:51] So I'm turning my energy into a creative project.

[00:13:54] I also love creating content, whether it's a reel for social media, a flyer or a piece of art.

[00:14:01] It's not about the perfection, but the process of creating something that resonates and crafting content related to relatable frustrations can even help others feel seen and understood.

[00:14:13] Because I have said previous episodes, I am creatively petty.

[00:14:17] Yes, I am.

[00:14:18] So if I get frustrated, I pull out my creative petty.

[00:14:22] I may record a reel, keep things very gentle, cute and witty.

[00:14:27] And I've got it off my chest and I don't have to worry about what you talk about me.

[00:14:32] Well, I didn't say anybody's name, did I?

[00:14:34] The shoe must fit.

[00:14:36] So if you're looking for a way to process your frustration, just try journaling.

[00:14:40] Try a few prompts for frustration so you can write down exactly what it is.

[00:14:44] I'm going to also highly recommend meditation.

[00:14:47] It took me such a long time to learn how to sit still, shut down my thoughts or at least the majority of them.

[00:14:55] You know, don't think it's intimidating.

[00:14:57] So you've got to try it first, but it's a lot simpler than it seems.

[00:15:02] Start small and build from there.

[00:15:04] Like I said, do my morning routine and you can find all these frequency playlists on all these music platforms.

[00:15:11] If you're trying to be more creative, you're trying to manifest money, you're trying to manifest good vibes, you clear your chakra.

[00:15:17] All that's available through frequency vibes.

[00:15:20] And I also believe in water manifestation.

[00:15:23] That's whether you're showering or if you're taking a hot soak.

[00:15:26] Now, if you are showering, imagine the water.

[00:15:29] You're washing away the frustrations.

[00:15:31] You're speaking affirmations like I release negativity and embrace peace.

[00:15:36] It sounds, you know, like a little odd, but I'm telling you water has power and at least you are verbalizing it.

[00:15:42] Now, if you're going to take a nice soak, I recommend you light a candle, play some soothing frequencies and allow yourself to soak and relax.

[00:15:51] Just visualize the stress leaving your body as you focus on your breathing.

[00:15:56] And then, creative outlets and practical exercises like journaling, meditation can turn frustration into a positive, productive force.

[00:16:04] They're simple yet effective tools that anyone can use to regain their balance and refocus their energy.

[00:16:13] So, in closing this episode, we did have a chance to deal with a little life daily irritations and frustrations.

[00:16:21] Sharing the personal stories.

[00:16:23] I hope you guys, you know, found some relevance in those, but also the practical tools like journaling, meditation and creative outlets to shift frustration to something positive.

[00:16:33] So, whether you're taking a moment to breathe, identify the root of the problem.

[00:16:39] What's really bothering you or channeling that energy into something productive.

[00:16:44] Now, you have a toolkit to turn those moments of irritation into opportunities of growth.

[00:16:50] Remember, frustration isn't just an obstacle.

[00:16:53] It's a signal that something needs your attention.

[00:16:55] When you approach it with mindfulness and purpose, it can become a stepping stone to something greater.

[00:17:01] I want to leave you with this motivational quote to reflect on.

[00:17:06] Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success.

[00:17:13] Bo Bennett.

[00:17:14] The next time you feel frustration creeping in, remember this.

[00:17:18] It's a sign that you're pushing boundaries, growing and striving for better.

[00:17:23] Let it fuel your journey instead of holding you back.

[00:17:25] So, I appreciate everybody tuning into this episode.

[00:17:28] Again, thank you guys again.

[00:17:30] And if you have a moment, please leave me a review on wherever you get your podcasts.

[00:17:35] Also, check out the other great shows on the MBG Podcast Network where we are continuing to spread black excellence.

[00:17:41] And you can support this podcast by visiting at buymeacoffee.com.

[00:17:47] Talk to me, Michelle with one L.

[00:17:49] And you can follow me on all social platforms at talk to me, Michelle.

[00:17:53] Make sure you guys go check out the YouTube channel because that's where all the action happens before I convert to audio.

[00:17:59] So, if you go to my YouTube channel and turn on your notifications, you'll know when we're going live with a great live conversation.

[00:18:05] Thank you guys again so much.

[00:18:07] I appreciate you.

[00:18:08] So, until next episode, peace.

[00:18:10] Have a great day.