In this episode, we’re diving into the fun—and sometimes tricky—world of flirting, especially when you’re in a committed relationship.
We’ll explore how flirting can boost confidence, bring joy, and spark connections, but we’ll also break down the essential boundaries for flirting respectfully when you're married or in a relationship. From recognizing the signs of harmless fun to understanding when things go too far, this episode offers insights and tips on keeping interactions light, friendly, and respectful.
Tune in for a fun, thoughtful conversation on enjoying the playful side of life without crossing the line.
[00:00:09] Talk To Me Michele, on the street lights on the corner.
[00:00:53] All right, that's where I'm gonna leave it at.
[00:00:56] So I wanted to have some fun because I promise you that election campaign, it mentally drained me.
[00:01:02] It mentally drained me and I need to have some fun right now.
[00:01:07] So let's have some fun about the world of flirting, the fun, the health benefits, and how to do it right.
[00:01:16] So flirting can be a playful way to boost our confidence, lift our mood, and even spark some connections.
[00:01:24] Whether it's a smile, a witty comment, or even a little extra attention.
[00:01:29] Flirting helps us feel more connected and it could be a healthy way to engage with others.
[00:01:34] But what exactly is flirting?
[00:01:37] First and foremost, it is not a one size fits all method. Not at all.
[00:01:41] For some, it's, you know, suitable eye contact and a smile.
[00:01:45] While others prefer light teasing or casual compliments.
[00:01:49] I think I'm more in that zone. I'm just personally speaking on that one.
[00:01:52] But flirting looks different depending on the person, the setting, and the relationship between those involved.
[00:01:58] And that's what makes it both exciting and sometimes a little tricky.
[00:02:03] In this episode, I'm gonna break down why flirting is healthy and how it adds a little fun to our lives.
[00:02:09] And tasteful ways to flirt that make people feel good without crossing boundaries.
[00:02:13] And when flirting can get creepy. The signs to watch for and the importance of respect.
[00:02:18] And distinguishing when to take flirting seriously and when it's just light hearted fun.
[00:02:24] So let's get into it.
[00:02:28] So I mentioned that there are benefits of flirting.
[00:02:31] And the benefits include social confidence.
[00:02:35] Because a little harmless flirting can be a major confidence booster.
[00:02:39] Engaging with someone in a fun, playful way can remind us of our own appeal and our social ease.
[00:02:45] When we are confident in a social interaction, it makes us feel a lot more relaxed.
[00:02:51] When it leads to easier conversations and better connections with others.
[00:02:55] Flirting doesn't have to mean serious intentions.
[00:02:58] It's just often a way to add a little bit of charm, a little positivity to everyday life.
[00:03:02] Giving us a sense of self-assurance.
[00:03:04] Ah, my little darling. It is love at first sight, is it not? No?
[00:03:09] And ladies, y'all know what I'm talking about.
[00:03:11] Have you ever just gone out, you're running random errands, and a brother gives you, you know,
[00:03:16] Whoa, hey girl, how you doing?
[00:03:18] And you're like, okay, okay.
[00:03:20] That does something for the ego, because women got egos too.
[00:03:23] It's also mood lifting.
[00:03:25] There's actually science behind why flirting feels good.
[00:03:29] When we flirt, our brain releases that feel-good hormone, which can instantly lift our mood.
[00:03:35] Even small acts of flirtation.
[00:03:37] A little compliment, a shared laugh, mutual interest.
[00:03:41] These can activate these hormones, which can brighten our day and add a sense of excitement.
[00:03:46] This is a natural high.
[00:03:48] From flirting, often makes us feel more connected and less stressed.
[00:03:52] Because you might be just having a bad day, and somebody just perks you up by giving you a compliment,
[00:03:58] and your mood gets a little bit better.
[00:04:00] I'm sure I've mentioned this woman before on TikTok.
[00:04:03] She has a video series where she just goes up to random black men and says,
[00:04:08] Hey, King, you are too handsome not to be smiling.
[00:04:11] And automatically, the response is positive.
[00:04:14] So that's just a prime example of how it can lift your mood.
[00:04:18] And flirting is also a rapid way to build a connection.
[00:04:22] Even if it's lighthearted without any romantic intentions, the playful exchange and attention and flirting can create a sense of closeness.
[00:04:29] So you feel more comfortable talking to the person.
[00:04:32] Whether it's a new acquaintance, a long time friend, this kind of interaction strengthens that bond.
[00:04:39] It helps people break the ice.
[00:04:41] And it can actually turn a casual encounter into a memorable one.
[00:04:45] Plus that little boost of bonding gives us more engaged in our relationships, both new and old.
[00:04:50] So when you're doing flirting respectfully, it can be uplifting and a natural part of human interaction that enhances our social connections and leaves us feeling a bit happier.
[00:05:05] The question is, how can you flirt?
[00:05:07] Flirt, but do it tastefully because you don't have to flirt so loudly, so obvious.
[00:05:14] It's usually the small gestures that make the biggest impact.
[00:05:17] You know, the simple things like the eye contact, smiling, engaging in a lighthearted conversation.
[00:05:24] The small gestures can signal interest without overwhelming the other person and playful comments.
[00:05:32] And a little teasing.
[00:05:33] You got to have fun with each other.
[00:05:34] That's a fun way to flirt as long as they're light and respectful.
[00:05:38] Okay, you don't cross the boundaries on that one.
[00:05:41] So the goal is to create a positive connection without pushing any boundaries.
[00:05:46] Another aspect of flirting is respecting people's personal space.
[00:05:51] Because body language says a lot if they're comfortable with, you know, the flirting.
[00:05:55] You know, they can lean in a little bit.
[00:05:57] They can mirror your posture or standing close, not too close, but just enough to convey interest.
[00:06:04] And on the other hand, if the person is stepping back and they're not returning eye contact,
[00:06:09] that is so much a cue that they don't want to be bothered.
[00:06:12] They are not reciprocating what you are putting out there.
[00:06:15] So please be aware of these signals when somebody is really not showing interest body-wise, eye contact-wise.
[00:06:23] Just show them that respect and it keeps the interaction comfortable for everybody.
[00:06:28] Now, if you're going to flirt, you got to be present.
[00:06:30] You can't just be doing words and gestures thinking that's going to be the key to getting to somebody.
[00:06:36] You got to show a genuine interest.
[00:06:38] So if you're engaged in conversation, listening closely, responding thoughtfully, it sends a flattering message.
[00:06:46] You know, because I like it when people ask questions, remember details and be fully present.
[00:06:52] You know, that's an impact as much as a compliment is.
[00:06:55] Being on this level of alertness, it shows that you have an interest in the person beyond the surface level attraction.
[00:07:01] That's making the flirting feel more sincere and respectful.
[00:07:05] And please, you have to understand that flirting is all about timing and setting.
[00:07:10] Some situations like social events, casual gatherings, lend themselves to playful interaction, right?
[00:07:16] So others like workplaces or formal settings, that calls for a more professional approach.
[00:07:23] So know your setting and flirting should always match the tone of the environment.
[00:07:28] So be mindful of the context that helps avoid misunderstandings.
[00:07:32] So if you are at a wedding and you hitting on every woman up in there trying to do like, you know, the wedding crashes type of thing, you're not going to make it.
[00:07:42] That is not professional.
[00:07:43] But I know some of y'all still do it, don't you?
[00:07:46] The right moment coupled with the right setting makes flirting feel natural and it keeps it respectful.
[00:07:55] Now let's talk about when flirting crosses the line because sometimes flirting can get creepy.
[00:08:01] You know, it is fun, but it quickly can become uncomfortable if the boundaries aren't respected.
[00:08:07] So I'm going to give you a few creepy territory signs that you're going a little too far doing a little too much.
[00:08:14] So if you're ignoring my social cues or body language, you know, if I'm looking away, I'm taking a step back.
[00:08:20] I'm not responding in a warm, sincere manner.
[00:08:23] These are definite cues.
[00:08:25] I'm not interested.
[00:08:26] Anybody with these cues, not interested.
[00:08:29] So ignoring these signals shows a lack of awareness and respect.
[00:08:34] Now, if a person's made very obvious they have no interest in entertaining or flirting, right?
[00:08:39] But you continue to do it.
[00:08:42] You continue to flirt with someone who has shown that they are not interested and they have pulled away.
[00:08:47] They've given you short answers or directly saying, look, get out of my face.
[00:08:52] Okay.
[00:08:52] I am so uncomfortable right about now.
[00:08:54] You're crossing the boundaries that can make the interaction feel real pushy.
[00:08:59] And y'all already know everybody around here lawsuit happy.
[00:09:01] So just watch the personal territory, invasive questions, physical closeness.
[00:09:08] Uh, uh, nope.
[00:09:09] You asking me too many personal questions, right?
[00:09:12] All in my business.
[00:09:13] You're standing way too close to me.
[00:09:16] Really?
[00:09:16] You I've already told you to back up.
[00:09:18] So you got to respect the personal space and avoiding questions that are too forward to help keep the interaction comfortable.
[00:09:25] Because you know, I don't know when people got so comfortable digging on your business day one.
[00:09:33] Have you ever had that interaction where you just meet a person and they just go right to your bedroom?
[00:09:38] I'm like, wait a minute.
[00:09:39] Hold up.
[00:09:39] Hold up.
[00:09:39] That's not up for discussion.
[00:09:40] I don't even know you.
[00:09:42] So taking time to understand the boundaries, respecting them is so crucial because some people may not appreciate, you know, the flirtation.
[00:09:51] Others may see it, you know, it's harmless.
[00:09:53] You're not doing anything, but you got to be sensitive to the cultural and the personal differences showing respect for others feelings.
[00:10:00] That's going to help avoid any misunderstandings.
[00:10:05] Also keep in mind, you can be flirting and you take it a little too far.
[00:10:10] These are the red flags you want to look out for because flirting can cross the line into harassment.
[00:10:14] So when you are consistently trying to engage someone who isn't reciprocating can feel overbearing.
[00:10:22] You need to let people move freely, join the conversations, you know, respect their space and not taking no for an answer is a definite no, no.
[00:10:30] You are ignoring someone's refusal to engage or make repeated attempts to flirt after they have declined.
[00:10:36] It's a clear sign the boundaries are not being respected.
[00:10:39] If I have to keep telling you, you already know how I feel about this.
[00:10:44] A respectful flirt knows when to let it go and just move on.
[00:10:49] Now, this is not on the list, but this is just my personal opinion.
[00:10:52] If you are in a relationship or married, yeah, there is a boundary with flirting.
[00:10:56] You need to check with your partner if you're able to do that.
[00:10:59] And if you are having boundaries with that zone or your partner is not for it, then you're going to have to, you know, just deal with it.
[00:11:07] But I have seen scenarios of people who are in relationships or married and they just take flirting seriously.
[00:11:14] And, you know, they cross the boundaries.
[00:11:16] And I'm like, dude, you got to understand when people are just kicking with you.
[00:11:20] That don't mean that I want to go to bed with you.
[00:11:22] So we have to understand these boundaries.
[00:11:24] And I personally think if you're married anyway, you shouldn't be flirting with nobody else but your spouse.
[00:11:31] And I'm also adding this to the mix because I know we're talking about flirting, but this new age flirting, y'all have lost y'all damn mind.
[00:11:38] For some reason, y'all think nudes need to come with the first interaction.
[00:11:43] I don't understand that.
[00:11:44] If somebody requests nudes, you ain't even linked up.
[00:11:48] You ain't even had sex.
[00:11:50] Can I see one today?
[00:12:00] Y'all got to stop that.
[00:12:01] Because I see so many people just off the bat, just like it's a normal exchange.
[00:12:07] You know, you got some, no, do I know you?
[00:12:11] Y'all got to stop that.
[00:12:12] That does not, that does not count as flirting.
[00:12:15] That count as creepy ass men.
[00:12:18] That does not count as flirting.
[00:12:21] That counts as you're a pervert.
[00:12:23] Something wrong with you.
[00:12:24] You know, y'all got to put a little bit more effort if you want to clap cheeks.
[00:12:30] Now, this is the part I think some of us struggle with when it comes to flirting because are you looking at flirting as flirting or are you taking it seriously?
[00:12:39] Because you have to read the intentions.
[00:12:42] You know, it's playful.
[00:12:43] It's lighthearted.
[00:12:44] But do you know if somebody just trying to have fun or if they have a genuine interest?
[00:12:48] So, we got to look at playness versus death.
[00:12:52] If they have a casual flirt going on with you, that's like light comments or playful teasing without a deep emotional engagement.
[00:13:00] But if the conversation becomes more thoughtful or they start to share personal details, it might indicate a deeper interest because you know the head and quitted people.
[00:13:10] They only want to know so much.
[00:13:11] You're lucky if you give them your full name.
[00:13:14] Okay, I'm just letting you know.
[00:13:16] Now, someone who is casually flirting may not follow up after the initial encounter.
[00:13:21] So, if they're interested in you, they'll put forth an effort to stay in touch.
[00:13:26] Whether it's through text messages, social media messages, or just finding a way to reconnect.
[00:13:32] I promise you, that is my red flag all over the place.
[00:13:35] If I put out a alert, I like you, but I'm only getting that surface interaction.
[00:13:40] Oh, I'm not putting no more energy into it.
[00:13:44] If you're unsure whether someone is just flirting for fun or if they have a genuine interest in you, these are signs they may have a serious connection with you.
[00:13:53] Because if someone keeps reaching out, finds reasons to spend more time with you, this just might be a sign that they're more interested in just flirting.
[00:14:02] So, frequent interactions, whether it's in person, online, that indicates a desire to form a deeper connection.
[00:14:10] And are the compliments genuine or are they superficial?
[00:14:14] You know, comments that go beyond the physical appearance, you know, they appreciate your sense of humor, your intelligence, your character.
[00:14:22] That's more likely to reflect genuine interest.
[00:14:25] But the superficial comments, that's the one that you get that are solely on your looks.
[00:14:30] And they just look at, oh, you look good, baby.
[00:14:33] And you got nice titties.
[00:14:36] You know, it's that type of interaction.
[00:14:38] Now, let's talk about the hints and about future plans.
[00:14:40] Because somebody who's flirting, if they are serious, they may intend to drop hints about future activities together.
[00:14:47] You know, maybe we could grab some coffee sometime.
[00:14:50] Let's check out this concert next month.
[00:14:52] Those are signals that they want to build something more than just a passing interaction.
[00:14:58] But also trust your instinct because that's the most reliable tool you're going to have, whether flirting is serious or just fun.
[00:15:05] It's in your gut.
[00:15:07] Trust me.
[00:15:07] If you pick up on the cues and your comfort level with the situation, if something feels like it's moving beyond this playful exchange and you're open to exploring that, then cool.
[00:15:18] You can lean into that connection.
[00:15:20] But on the other hand, if you feel uncomfortable and you're not really sure, it's okay to keep things light and just pull back.
[00:15:26] It's okay.
[00:15:27] Your instincts will guide you in deciding whether you want to pursue a deeper connection or to maintain it fun and flirting.
[00:15:34] And flirting can be a fun way to gauge interest, but knowing whether it's play or if it's serious, that's what you need to ensure on both parties are on the same page because you got to pay attention to these cues and trust your instincts.
[00:15:49] You'll know when it's time to take things seriously.
[00:15:55] All right, let's wrap this on up, y'all.
[00:15:57] It has been fun because, you know, I like to flirt.
[00:16:00] I do.
[00:16:01] It's fun.
[00:16:02] Flirting is fun.
[00:16:04] It's a lighthearted way to boost your confidence and spark connections with others.
[00:16:08] It's also important to remember that flirting should always be respectful, healthy.
[00:16:13] It's all about making positive interactions that leaves both parties feeling good.
[00:16:17] You know, like when I be flirting with Rodney Barnes when he come on the show, I think it makes him feel good.
[00:16:22] It makes me feel good.
[00:16:23] So whether it's playful compliments or a shared smile, flirting can build a rapport.
[00:16:29] It can lift your mood and even create lasting connections.
[00:16:33] As you flirt, always stay aware of the social cues and the body language because if you're not going to be respecting a person's boundaries, you have to be mindful when someone isn't receptive to your advances.
[00:16:45] As you flirt, always stay aware of social cues, body language, respect personal boundaries, and be mindful if they are not interacting with you.
[00:16:55] They're not flirting back with you.
[00:16:56] So just slow up on your advances.
[00:16:58] If the signs point to a genuine interest, you can lean in.
[00:17:02] But remember, it's just as important to keep things fun and not take it too seriously sometimes unless they've made it clear on both ends that we're both interested and we want to explore a little something more than just flirting.
[00:17:16] At the end of the day, flirting is about enjoying the confidence boost it gives you and connecting with others in a way that feels light, positive, and respectful.
[00:17:24] So keep it fun, stay aware, and always prioritize respect and healthy boundaries.
[00:17:30] So go on people, go on out there and get your flirt on, alright?
[00:17:34] I appreciate y'all tuning into this episode.
[00:17:36] If you have a moment, I'd appreciate a review.
[00:17:39] Wherever you listen to the Talk To Me Michelle podcast, I'd appreciate it.
[00:17:43] You can also check out other great black excellent shows on the MBG Podcast Network.
[00:17:48] And you can also support this show if you like the content or you're interested in the merchandise.
[00:17:53] Please visit me at buymeacoffee.com backslash talktomemichelle with one L and all social media is at talktomemichelle.
[00:18:03] That's going to do it for this episode.
[00:18:04] I hope everybody enjoyed.
[00:18:06] And if you have a moment, share it with a friend.
[00:18:08] Share it with a whole stiff family member.
[00:18:10] Everybody needs to get these conversations in their arm, alright?
[00:18:14] So everybody take care.
[00:18:16] Peace.