Episode 29: Big, Bold, and Beautiful: Conflict’s Love for BBWs

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[00:00:48] [SPEAKER_04]: Welcome into another episode of Talk To Me Michele, and this is the podcast where you're

[00:00:57] [SPEAKER_04]: watching everything in between.

[00:00:59] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm your host Michele and today we have a truly special episode celebrating diversity,

[00:01:04] [SPEAKER_04]: love, and acceptance.

[00:01:06] [SPEAKER_04]: Joining me for this hilarious and very insightful conversation is comedian conflict.

[00:01:12] [SPEAKER_04]: Conflict has a heartfelt appreciation for BBWs.

[00:01:17] [SPEAKER_04]: Those of you who do not know what that stands for, it stands for Big Beautiful Women.

[00:01:22] [SPEAKER_04]: And in this world where social norms often cast unwarranted shadows and judgments, my boy

[00:01:28] [SPEAKER_04]: Conflict opens up about his personal experiences and the challenges faced, and the vibrant community

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_04]: that stands strong in celebrating body positivity.

[00:01:37] [SPEAKER_04]: So whether you're a long-time listener or new to the show, this conversation promises laughter,

[00:01:42] [SPEAKER_04]: reflection, and a powerful message about embracing beauty in all of its forms.

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_04]: So grab your favorite beverage, settle in, and let's get started.

[00:01:54] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to be randomly laughing through this episode because Conflict's facial expressions do it for me.

[00:02:03] [SPEAKER_04]: That ain't saying either.

[00:02:05] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't do that.

[00:02:07] [SPEAKER_04]: But welcome in Conflict, I appreciate you tuning in and joining us for this conversation because

[00:02:12] [SPEAKER_04]: I would love for you to number one give people a little background about yourself like your comedy

[00:02:17] [SPEAKER_04]: and how you became an admirer of BBW women.

[00:02:23] [SPEAKER_03]: With me, it goes back to childhood like those were girls that I like.

[00:02:30] [SPEAKER_03]: You know, I guess that when you first say BBW, a lot of people go through breast and booty

[00:02:39] [SPEAKER_03]: and know just an extra Coke bottle shape, you know, something like a bombshell body.

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_03]: But no, I need the full package.

[00:02:48] [SPEAKER_03]: And I've been like this since I was a little boy.

[00:02:50] [SPEAKER_04]: Okay.

[00:02:50] [SPEAKER_04]: Well, if you've been having that in race service since you were a little boy, needless to say the majority of women you have personally dated or found attractive have been BBWs.

[00:03:00] [SPEAKER_03]: Yes.

[00:03:01] [SPEAKER_03]: Yes.

[00:03:01] [SPEAKER_03]: Okay.

[00:03:02] [SPEAKER_03]: Background, it stands back with my family.

[00:03:04] [SPEAKER_03]: Okay. Now my family always wanted me to have a girlfriend with a nice shape, you know, whatever they consider was a nice shape.

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_03]: One of my girlfriends that was their favorite was Ron, size nine.

[00:03:17] [SPEAKER_03]: My name is Ron, but I literally call this woman size nine, mom's woman I've ever been with.

[00:03:22] [SPEAKER_03]: I did that to appease my friends, my family, because it looked good.

[00:03:29] [SPEAKER_03]: People complimented the relationship.

[00:03:31] [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, y'all look good together all the while.

[00:03:34] [SPEAKER_03]: I was I was cutting my, I was cutting my ass and I was like, I was like, I was like, because he was tripping grits.

[00:03:42] [SPEAKER_03]: So now I was young now.

[00:03:44] [SPEAKER_03]: So when I was over a house because you'd be the ones turning double dust and they ain't always turn to London and I'll be looking at them arms while they turn in that road.

[00:03:53] [SPEAKER_03]: She had to be looking at your mom while they turn.

[00:03:58] [SPEAKER_04]: And see, it's not the way you just delivered that line which I admire but you are so passionate about BBWs. Your face cannot hide your passion.

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_04]: Even if you don't say that for conflict you've realized that.

[00:04:12] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, yeah.

[00:04:13] [SPEAKER_03]: And it was okay. When you say BBW and you say man and woman in a relationship, the first day people go to is, you know, if she got a good if she got a boyfriend and she got a man, he settled.

[00:04:27] [SPEAKER_03]: They'd like to especially back then they say BB girl BBW girls.

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_03]: Can I stop saying BBW because I don't like Sandy.

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_03]: Say whatever you want to express yourself.

[00:04:37] [SPEAKER_03]: I like fat girls and I mean it was so much in this love and care.

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_03]: I mean it was so much tenderness love.

[00:04:46] [SPEAKER_03]: They think the fact girls have low self esteem and yes, I did come across a lot of them and they kind of questioning like you like me. You sure you like me.

[00:04:57] [SPEAKER_03]: Or even in them liking me and me like in them they was always looking out for something. I always had their gods up tighter than most women.

[00:05:07] [SPEAKER_03]: A little bit tighter.

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I'm going to tell you from personal experience that that there is a wall because we know that we are attractive women.

[00:05:18] [SPEAKER_04]: But at the same time you do have people that play on thinking you have a low self esteem. And you usually will come across somebody expresses of you know romantic interest in you but at the same time we always ask is this authentic or you just trying to get over on me, because you will run into that with me

[00:05:47] [SPEAKER_03]: and 14 that's when I started learning what size women well.

[00:05:51] [SPEAKER_03]: You know you know what a 48 double deals, a lot of men says young men says don't know what that 48 stay at home.

[00:05:58] [SPEAKER_03]: I like that 48.

[00:06:00] [SPEAKER_03]: The deal is nice.

[00:06:01] [SPEAKER_03]: That number 48 is very attractive. That means that reach around a little bit you know, you got.

[00:06:08] [SPEAKER_03]: And I have to be careful because it is body body positivity and I don't want to be in this shame nobody, because that's what I do. I mess around and I get this in this shame.

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_04]: Why no one day when you was talking to me and my sister, and my sister was like my food pay big enough for him.

[00:06:28] [SPEAKER_03]: She cute she did she got that one handful but I need that two hands.

[00:06:37] [SPEAKER_04]: So there is a preference you have in reference to Fupa side so you know you want the two hand Fupa, you know it's almost like a happy meal order.

[00:06:46] [SPEAKER_04]: So with the Fupa obsession.

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_04]: Let's get more into.

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_03]: Go ahead.

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_03]: Think about it for a second think about this is why man like Fupa so much in the middle of the night between 115 and 315 in the morning when you did sleep, and you don't want to be bothered you maybe later next to him, but you don't want him to bother you between 115 and

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_03]: 315 you can grab no tears she sleeps you.

[00:07:12] [SPEAKER_03]: Okay you can't grab no tail she sleeps excuse me.

[00:07:16] [SPEAKER_03]: Okay you can't reach round in front and touch that Dorito trying, but you could always get you a good old head and a full book anytime 24.

[00:07:29] [SPEAKER_04]: Do y'all see what is bad like I said it's admiration but at the same time conflicts delivery is so real and funny at the same time I can't help but laugh because I know he's being straight up with

[00:07:41] [SPEAKER_03]: it is it's it's it's just like teeny just ain't got no nipple on.

[00:07:46] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh my God. All right, let me get to this because I'll be a pin joking back and forth with your but this whole damn interview.

[00:07:54] [SPEAKER_03]: Two people that kind of a pinnacle in my life.

[00:07:58] [SPEAKER_03]: One was big a and other ones had it let's start with big a big a was be she was she was a corner boy.

[00:08:06] [SPEAKER_03]: She's always was on the corner and all the guys was kind of scared of big a big a way.

[00:08:13] [SPEAKER_03]: I wouldn't get a big a.

[00:08:15] [SPEAKER_03]: Okay.

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_03]: All right so when we used to walk to the snow and and big a Pat niggas pockets down you know him up a little bit.

[00:08:24] [SPEAKER_03]: I like when she hear me have always had a smile on my face that she used to get mad.

[00:08:33] [SPEAKER_03]: So eventually eventually see saw that I wasn't playing she started I was attracted to what she saw that I liked the for real and we started dating and that's when it began.

[00:08:46] [SPEAKER_03]: This this the problem with it because people pick on men who like BDW women they pick on us.

[00:08:53] [SPEAKER_03]: This is bad as they pick on your family, friends, all of me and big a didn't care.

[00:09:00] [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, we was holding hands walking down the middle of the street and who gonna touch because she can fight me.

[00:09:05] [SPEAKER_03]: I might take but he can't.

[00:09:08] [SPEAKER_04]: I hate to say this but you just gave me a Norbit flashback on the playground.

[00:09:14] [SPEAKER_04]: When she kicked them boys asses that were messing with Norbit.

[00:09:20] [SPEAKER_03]: No, actually, they started off kind of cool when Norbit first came on I had flashback.

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_03]: I was Norbit.

[00:09:35] [SPEAKER_03]: I never noticed that I was an orbit.

[00:09:37] [SPEAKER_04]: You just gave me a Norbit flash for real when you was telling me that story.

[00:09:42] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm sorry my mind went right to that playground.

[00:09:44] [SPEAKER_04]: So you got a girlfriend this big.

[00:09:54] [SPEAKER_04]: This is real life situations when you realize that you was a character before the movie even came out but.

[00:10:03] [SPEAKER_03]: I got tears in my eyes.

[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_03]: I can't I can't comment.

[00:10:07] [SPEAKER_03]: I can't laugh at it the way you let it is because I didn't know that I live this.

[00:10:11] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm sorry. When you told me the story about how whooping everybody's ass.

[00:10:17] [SPEAKER_04]: That's what took me to Norbit. So I'm sorry my mind works that way, but I had to share that with you.

[00:10:24] [SPEAKER_03]: Boy street street pharmaceuticals that's what she and her big brothers was into. She had big brother.

[00:10:30] [SPEAKER_03]: I'm not gonna lie they protected me.

[00:10:32] [SPEAKER_04]: Please don't tell me you went to the family house and they served your turkey as just don't tell me that.

[00:10:37] [SPEAKER_04]: No mind.

[00:10:39] [SPEAKER_04]: Now I got to go watch that after this day of show I probably.

[00:10:50] [SPEAKER_03]: It really is.

[00:10:52] [SPEAKER_04]: I love that day of movie but you was talking about another lady.

[00:10:57] [SPEAKER_03]: My grandmother's best friend, you know how black folks is so my grandma best friend is technically my dad mama.

[00:11:03] [SPEAKER_03]: Technically.

[00:11:05] [SPEAKER_03]: My grandma best friend name is had had it I had my grandmother used to threaten me with had it had had it had what we call or what you would call a toilet seat breaker.

[00:11:21] [SPEAKER_03]: As wider than my shoulders okay.

[00:11:23] [SPEAKER_03]: You see the black parts on my screen look at my screen.

[00:11:27] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, my phone turn her ass take up all that right there.

[00:11:32] [SPEAKER_03]: She's not going to leave no space on this screen.

[00:11:35] [SPEAKER_03]: For you for those of you who don't know what a toilet seat breaker is a toilet seat breaker is is a one okay that comes over house during holidays usually Thanksgiving or Christmas okay and she's a family member.

[00:11:59] [SPEAKER_03]: Okay.

[00:11:59] [SPEAKER_03]: I'm going to show you the story that she put down.

[00:12:01] [SPEAKER_04]: Like I can't even look at you right now just just just continue the story that she broke the toilet in your family's home. Yes, everything.

[00:12:10] [SPEAKER_03]: Everything's given Christmas.

[00:12:14] [SPEAKER_03]: My grandma would have to purchase a new toilet seat he had a mother ready.

[00:12:18] [SPEAKER_03]: I put her house outside I don't lie.

[00:12:21] [SPEAKER_04]: I will put her as outside we got an outhouse just for you because you ain't breaking them or damn toilet seats.

[00:12:25] [SPEAKER_03]: She had dancing she had she let's see.

[00:12:30] [SPEAKER_03]: I was about 1516.

[00:12:33] [SPEAKER_03]: I'm lying.

[00:12:34] [SPEAKER_03]: I'll about 1415 when I started liking booty dance I like my booty then you know, don't nobody just won't take no smooth trip across no booty I like it bump it.

[00:12:45] [SPEAKER_03]: You know I like it.

[00:12:52] [SPEAKER_04]: So a bumpy ass that can break toilets pretty much you in the house for that.

[00:13:00] [SPEAKER_03]: And she also

[00:13:03] [SPEAKER_03]: what's what you're gonna sit on that tail. Okay what you need to hold that tail up is a strong a kneecap back she had to.

[00:13:14] [SPEAKER_03]: Like the back of the kneecap for like bonds out the bakery okay they were so juicy and soft and fluffy. You know them dinner rolls. Yes, yes.

[00:13:28] [SPEAKER_04]: Your ass don't be having a flashback while we live okay so

[00:13:33] [SPEAKER_04]: can you went back in your mind.

[00:13:39] [SPEAKER_04]: Trust me I know the sound.

[00:13:42] [SPEAKER_04]: Don't don't do a conflict.

[00:13:44] [SPEAKER_04]: So, from an early age let's say mid team.

[00:13:49] [SPEAKER_04]: That you have been obsessed with women of size. You like the back of they need caps, you like the dancing ass.

[00:13:57] [SPEAKER_04]: You like the wide ass that could pop a damn screw out of a toilet bowl.

[00:14:03] [SPEAKER_04]: What other features or things do you like about women of size.

[00:14:08] [SPEAKER_03]: First of all, is that initial hood. Okay, I like I'm man like to eat. We like to be full.

[00:14:16] [SPEAKER_03]: I also like a full hug. I don't know room in my hood if I'm hugging you I don't want no space to get up in there is it's.

[00:14:26] [SPEAKER_03]: I don't want to cool a hoop you right you need a full wrap body.

[00:14:31] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm a big guy. I'm a long guy I got these big old long arms that need to be filled you know, but I understand your need to have the full embrace when you meet a woman that you know that may be

[00:14:46] [SPEAKER_04]: anybody I mean, and I know you a married man and your wife is lovely we love it to death.

[00:14:52] [SPEAKER_04]: Let me start with your wife what was the qualities about your wife that attracted and said you know what this got to be the one this one.

[00:15:02] [SPEAKER_03]: I didn't know that I met my wife when I met my wife.

[00:15:05] [SPEAKER_03]: I stayed Chicago born and raised, but we moved out to city with my grandparent, my granddaddy past when I was 20.

[00:15:13] [SPEAKER_03]: We moved to the suburbs. We just so happened to move right across the street from my wife's parents.

[00:15:20] [SPEAKER_03]: While we was moving in my people some of the people that had a front window full of you know that one left that's a vase.

[00:15:27] [SPEAKER_03]: Right, let's just be flowers and plants.

[00:15:30] [SPEAKER_03]: The living room ain't even no living room is this a pretty as white couch white furniture white carpet front one full of plants.

[00:15:39] [SPEAKER_03]: We're moving in our position and plants. My mother's helping me.

[00:15:44] [SPEAKER_03]: And then all of a sudden, she say whoa whoa.

[00:15:49] [SPEAKER_03]: And I look up she say, look at that girl with the look at a yellow girl with them big old tears see my mama know me very well.

[00:15:56] [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, my mom is my best friend.

[00:15:59] [SPEAKER_03]: My mama roll the best joints in America mama said whoa whoa.

[00:16:03] [SPEAKER_03]: That's my nickname.

[00:16:03] [SPEAKER_03]: Whoa.

[00:16:05] [SPEAKER_03]: Look at that yellow girl with them big old tears and now my wife was she had a food box.

[00:16:11] [SPEAKER_03]: And this big old teacher.

[00:16:14] [SPEAKER_03]: My grandma came to the window and she was looking at it. You say do you got only any shots, you couldn't see us.

[00:16:21] [SPEAKER_03]: All you she was teachers.

[00:16:23] [SPEAKER_03]: All you see was teacher socks and tears.

[00:16:29] [SPEAKER_03]: I didn't even know if he had a cute face and or not.

[00:16:34] [SPEAKER_03]: Just the titties that it was it for you.

[00:16:37] [SPEAKER_03]: I like my titties long with some stomach to hold titties up because titties need some shelf.

[00:16:43] [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.

[00:16:43] [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.

[00:16:47] [SPEAKER_04]: But I mean, now your family because you did mention how your family can interfere or try to shame you for dating a woman of size.

[00:16:58] [SPEAKER_04]: What was it that basically told y'all you told your family like okay this is what I like leave me alone.

[00:17:05] [SPEAKER_03]: There will be after big a laquita and they called that lady a dolphin.

[00:17:11] [SPEAKER_03]: They called that lady and how full here was big.

[00:17:16] [SPEAKER_03]: I give him that I give him that I let that right she had no edges.

[00:17:22] [SPEAKER_03]: He had no edges when it was popular.

[00:17:25] [SPEAKER_03]: I give him that.

[00:17:27] [SPEAKER_03]: I kind of got secluded from my family.

[00:17:30] [SPEAKER_03]: And then I just said fuck.

[00:17:31] [SPEAKER_03]: I would even allow her to come on my block and because I ain't want to hear nobody now.

[00:17:41] [SPEAKER_04]: That's sad.

[00:17:42] [SPEAKER_04]: That's sad when you have to.

[00:17:44] [SPEAKER_04]: When a family does not accept what you like.

[00:17:47] [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, it's legit.

[00:17:49] [SPEAKER_04]: It's nothing like you doing something illegal or anything of that nature but when you make certain choices and family disagrees with your choices that can be a struggle.

[00:18:00] [SPEAKER_03]: They would tell me why you like all girls with no shape.

[00:18:03] [SPEAKER_03]: And it wasn't that I just like the girls with all the shape they ain't got no shape they got all the shape.

[00:18:09] [SPEAKER_03]: And that's, you know, that's the beautiful thing about BPW is because when you look at this is body positive. When you look at the temperature today body modification has become normal.

[00:18:24] [SPEAKER_03]: You know we went through a period where us that are older we went to appear to poke and fun and talking about it but that's what these kids want to do.

[00:18:31] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, it's gonna. I would I would love to get older to see how they got a age and how they look funny with this work that they got be everybody's to me is purchasing the same be be a same breath the same bus.

[00:18:47] [SPEAKER_03]: Get sucked out to the same last waste line.

[00:18:51] [SPEAKER_03]: Same booty no pass everybody is by the same body.

[00:18:55] [SPEAKER_03]: Why y'all want to look the same like everybody else he has a thing about a bbw ain't you can have 20 that could be be the BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB.

[00:19:11] [SPEAKER_03]: You can have points.

[00:19:14] [SPEAKER_03]: And they can be BBBW.

[00:19:18] [SPEAKER_03]: Where here they're gonna be shaped up like, oh my good shapes and sizes that BBW is coming in different shapes.

[00:19:26] [SPEAKER_04]: Yes it is we come in a variety of shapes sizes Heights we have different portions.

[00:19:33] [SPEAKER_04]: You know, some of us got a little more food plus some of us got a little bit more, you know, didn't the booty thighs arms.

[00:19:40] [SPEAKER_04]: You know, I mean so do you have a I mean you already mentioned the breasts were one of your weaknesses on BBW is there and the breast and we're gonna get over the dead ass.

[00:19:52] [SPEAKER_04]: What qualities does a BBW should possess as far as you know, having confidence because that's the thing about society.

[00:20:00] [SPEAKER_04]: As a woman you can feel confident and then at the same time society has such a bad way of shame and women of size men to it's so much better when she have confidence.

[00:20:11] [SPEAKER_03]: I know hesitation, right without without confidence there's a lot of hesitation. It's a hesitation on going somewhere.

[00:20:18] [SPEAKER_03]: It's a hesitation on putting certain things down. Yeah, it's a hesitation on being seen by certain people, you know you.

[00:20:26] [SPEAKER_03]: I don't I don't like the hesitation I prefer confidence BBB.

[00:20:46] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm done. I'm done. But I mean, that is a struggle that most women of size have because I've been a big woman, a majority of my life, I've had my little little girl moments they ain't ever been some skinny girl

[00:20:59] [SPEAKER_04]: moment but they have my little girl moments and fluctuating. The thing I noticed in between weight sizes is that if you are a certain size, there are some men that love me at my size that I'm at now.

[00:21:13] [SPEAKER_04]: I love my damn self about you know regardless of what size I am but at the same time when women do have a weight loss journey and they notice the different attention.

[00:21:24] [SPEAKER_04]: Sometimes you can still have the big girl mindset. Now I'm not saying that's low self esteem or anything of that nature but you're actually like oh damn they're finding me attractive I'm getting this kind of attention which you're not used to.

[00:21:39] [SPEAKER_04]: So I say I applaud you for saying the confidence level because there's somebody out there for everybody.

[00:21:46] [SPEAKER_03]: I knew you were going to ask, I knew you were going to you know just say something like that. And I was in the bathroom earlier, brush my teeth and watch my tail before I get on camera it's the self confidence they made me feel better.

[00:21:58] [SPEAKER_03]: I was like, uh, with a guy like that that didn't know that you default. Is that who you really want to be with. Yes, because he don't, you know, he didn't see you before.

[00:22:08] [SPEAKER_03]: Right. He didn't take the time to look at you get to know you. I mean, your inside who you are is the same with God as what the physical is.

[00:22:19] [SPEAKER_03]: But is that the nigga you really want to be with if he didn't like you before and walk back. Let's say you work at a shop. Let's say you go on this way.

[00:22:28] [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, you're the barista at the coffee shop you were working there seven years. Okay, your second year there you've been saying this guy walk past you every day you know his you like the Alicia Keys song you got that nigga or the down pack.

[00:22:43] [SPEAKER_03]: But he don't start seeing you to you lose weight. Yep.

[00:22:46] [SPEAKER_03]: That's all you want.

[00:22:48] [SPEAKER_04]: Mm hmm.

[00:22:49] [SPEAKER_04]: And that is a question women should put to themselves because like I said life changes bodies fluctuate and that's including men too. But for some reason, women are the main frontier when it comes to body positivity and it being a change because things happen.

[00:23:05] [SPEAKER_04]: You may have had surgery you may have had a situation where you, you may be on medication to call you the gateway you might be depressed.

[00:23:13] [SPEAKER_04]: So with all these factors, you know it's hard for some women to have the confidence even if they are smaller size.

[00:23:20] [SPEAKER_03]: I like the girls who got the confidence to not care. Okay, they just is I'm a sexy and I'm a woman. They can I don't care.

[00:23:30] [SPEAKER_03]: I'm a sexy and I'm a woman.

[00:23:33] [SPEAKER_03]: Trying to get small she ain't trying to get big she just existed right them to just pick up and go. Sometimes they big and sometimes they model depending on what time to get you catch.

[00:23:44] [SPEAKER_04]: Mm hmm. But you know what you mentioned earlier that your choice in the women that you were dating and married.

[00:23:53] [SPEAKER_04]: You suffered repercussions from your male counterparts. I mean, just tell me about some of those experiences.

[00:24:02] [SPEAKER_03]: It turned into a joke. You know, I get to be.

[00:24:07] [SPEAKER_03]: And I went with it just for a bit.

[00:24:11] [SPEAKER_03]: But me and the girl at the table with the purse are we be sitting there talking about that as you know I mean many times me and the big girl at the table with the purse.

[00:24:20] [SPEAKER_03]: Got up and left them got their purses right there. Yeah, we go.

[00:24:25] [SPEAKER_04]: Mm hmm. Yeah.

[00:24:27] [SPEAKER_04]: But I find it so shameful because I'm just like dude, if you my homie. And if that's what you want. Now she does if she got a messed up character that's something different but just the appearance alone.

[00:24:41] [SPEAKER_04]: You can't judge a book by its cover and you're not going to bed with them in the first place so why are you so concerned.

[00:24:49] [SPEAKER_03]: Exactly.

[00:24:51] [SPEAKER_03]: The point I was definitely trying to make it's a lot of men like myself.

[00:24:57] [SPEAKER_03]: Handsome, all they tea, good smell, good job.

[00:25:01] [SPEAKER_03]: Good today mama, they know mama's boy, but they good today mama. They got a house in the car and a driveway.

[00:25:09] [SPEAKER_03]: Mm hmm.

[00:25:09] [SPEAKER_03]: That's a lot of handsome brothers out there that love and keep fat girls.

[00:25:15] [SPEAKER_03]: And ladies had asked me when I say that that's the thing that I say when I say that ladies always ask me, but where they at the end.

[00:25:23] [SPEAKER_03]: They found the one already.

[00:25:25] [SPEAKER_03]: One already and they is in the house laid up between them to this.

[00:25:29] [SPEAKER_03]: In my age, my generation, a lot of big girls definitely went for the older guys because the older guys are the ones that realize that she definitely gets easier with age.

[00:25:41] [SPEAKER_04]: Possibly but you know what for some reason and I'm not trying to brag about I usually attract younger guys.

[00:25:46] [SPEAKER_04]: And unless they have like a mature mindset. I cannot and then again I got said you have people that have fetishes, or they want an experience I never been with a big girl before.

[00:25:57] [SPEAKER_03]: It's not a fetish Instagram.

[00:26:00] [SPEAKER_03]: I've been on about five years now, Instagram taught me that men fetishize that like dead ass they they don't care she look down to who she is okay where she come from as long as she's you know, a BBW.

[00:26:15] [SPEAKER_03]: I don't I don't I don't fetishize.

[00:26:17] [SPEAKER_03]: I don't fetishize that.

[00:26:19] [SPEAKER_03]: I remember back in grammar school when I had social studies, not history to social studies. I got me. It was a chapter about you know Roman and Greek mythology or whatever.

[00:26:30] [SPEAKER_03]: And I got hooked up on a lot of the statues because look at it was like the perfect mix of fat and muscle mixed together like everybody has some fat on back in them with them old statues right back in the day.

[00:26:45] [SPEAKER_03]: Um, I had to meet they put all that on that statue. You got to be a kind of.

[00:26:52] [SPEAKER_03]: The kids are excited to meet into a statue.

[00:26:56] [SPEAKER_03]: It's the side to the beat for me. I'm sorry.

[00:27:01] [SPEAKER_03]: No you can go I like Saturday me so you can grab that right there in front of parents and then nobody gonna say.

[00:27:06] [SPEAKER_04]: And it's a slick way of doing a little full play for everybody without really peeping what's going on.

[00:27:11] [SPEAKER_03]: All the period in the neck in the soft area, you know what I hate. You know what I hate a clavicle I can't stand a clavicle if I see your.

[00:27:21] [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, okay, it's like you just disrespect.

[00:27:24] [SPEAKER_03]: And so I feel like I just been disrespected.

[00:27:27] I can't.

[00:27:29] [SPEAKER_04]: We don't want no disrespect with that with that situation whatsoever conflict I mean I understand that.

[00:27:35] [SPEAKER_04]: But let me get back to this way that society likes to play on big women.

[00:27:40] [SPEAKER_04]: I say that again, because if me, I put you this way. My personal experience, I'm out here trying to date.

[00:27:48] [SPEAKER_04]: But when you're dating, and you do get a response by somebody you find okay they kind of decent only to find out.

[00:27:56] [SPEAKER_04]: They try to take advantage of a situation with which they assume is low self esteem.

[00:28:02] [SPEAKER_04]: Now me luckily I can filter that shit out like the back of my hand right about now I might quick draw.

[00:28:09] [SPEAKER_04]: Okay, but at the same time.

[00:28:12] [SPEAKER_04]: Do you know of anybody or have you witnessed any experiences where you know this dude is dealing with this woman only to take advantage and or making an assumption he has she has low self esteem.

[00:28:24] [SPEAKER_03]: All the time all the time in life. Yeah on Instagram, Facebook.

[00:28:33] [SPEAKER_03]: I want women.

[00:28:35] [SPEAKER_03]: I hope they do.

[00:28:36] [SPEAKER_03]: I want this to live on the internet for a while you may not catch me but you don't catch me today use one.

[00:28:42] [SPEAKER_03]: Okay and you make and you you you you you you run it.

[00:28:46] [SPEAKER_03]: Men have to court y'all. Okay, we have to come to y'all. Yeah.

[00:28:51] [SPEAKER_03]: Keep yourself a same high. Keep your.

[00:28:54] [SPEAKER_03]: What's the word I'm looking for standards standards.

[00:28:58] [SPEAKER_03]: That's so standard and don't bend on it. Don't wave on make him come to you correctly. Okay. Yeah, a man had a cold shoulder. A lot of niggas will take that cold shoulder and be like, damn.

[00:29:10] [SPEAKER_03]: And we'll come back to you.

[00:29:12] [SPEAKER_04]: Correct. Yeah.

[00:29:13] [SPEAKER_04]: And that's the thing I think once as a woman when you said boundaries when men you know that you know I'm trying to you know get to know.

[00:29:20] [SPEAKER_04]: And once they do something stupid like I'm not a Texer you can text me good morning but we need to have a conversation because I'm not going to get to know you through technology like that.

[00:29:31] [SPEAKER_04]: So that's one of my standards and a majority of people have been running to like okay they'd like to text all goddamn day I'm like well you ought to be a writer, because I'm not communicating with you all damn day.

[00:29:44] [SPEAKER_04]: Pick up the phone.

[00:29:45] [SPEAKER_04]: But with big women.

[00:29:49] [SPEAKER_04]: They're somewhat of a target online. You know what I mean, because you'll have people you socialize with.

[00:29:56] [SPEAKER_04]: They realize that you are single out this might be an opportunity for me to tap in get some shit, you know try to see let me see what I can get out the situation pretty much.

[00:30:09] [SPEAKER_04]: How many female friends. Have you heard even share these experiences.

[00:30:16] [SPEAKER_03]: A lot of. Yeah, I talked to women in general just throughout life you know I don't have problems. I've never had a problem having female friends just free of rent.

[00:30:26] [SPEAKER_03]: You know, right. No no benefits just friend friend a lot of them.

[00:30:29] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, because I mean, because it's just like, you know, it's an insult to my intelligence.

[00:30:39] [SPEAKER_04]: And you think I have a certain mindset about myself and I must assure you I'm one of my biggest fans.

[00:30:46] [SPEAKER_03]: I think I can. I think this is a good time to help let me kind of tie into this health aspect of being a BBW or just knowing a lot of BBW women.

[00:31:01] [SPEAKER_03]: A lot of BBW women that girl don't eat yet they like burns okay. Yeah, I'd be I'm so surprised that all the women in my life I've been with to eat like birds that don't eat nothing was holding on to the fat.

[00:31:16] [SPEAKER_03]: Press okay the body is an emergency state is pressed out that body will not let no way go it is holding on to it she ain't a shit day for the bag of sunflower seeds but it's gonna hold on to share.

[00:31:29] [SPEAKER_04]: Let me tell you something when you preach in 100 you preach in 100 because there are women of size that you know, very light. But like you said the stress you go through that is a contribution to weight gain or to maintain the way that you already have.

[00:31:49] [SPEAKER_04]: So people just don't realize oh you assume that I'm at the buffet every damn day.

[00:31:57] [SPEAKER_03]: So assume that you lazy.

[00:32:00] [SPEAKER_01]: Right.

[00:32:01] [SPEAKER_03]: Do you know how much muscle you need the extra extra muscle you need on your body to carry around some way boy don't mess around get your ass whooping that.

[00:32:08] [SPEAKER_03]: Let me tell you something.

[00:32:11] [SPEAKER_04]: I amazed myself at all that I get done with in the 24 hours God gives me.

[00:32:16] [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, really so to make the assumption that someone because of their size that they're lazy they lack self esteem they probably don't bathe.

[00:32:26] [SPEAKER_04]: It's all these, you know, bullshit as lines out here about the BBW community, which is absolutely not true.

[00:32:38] [SPEAKER_03]: I get caught up on a baby aspect of you have you have you have to be the devil with some water all over body and look and credit.

[00:32:47] [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, he just be sliding on local.

[00:32:54] [SPEAKER_03]: I am a clean, dear, cutlery.

[00:32:58] [SPEAKER_03]: And I know that a lot of men are clean get a lot of men are cutlery.

[00:33:02] [SPEAKER_03]: I know that and very careful with my own emotions and feelings.

[00:33:07] [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, because I could be I could feel like you don't like me if we ain't cousin.

[00:33:12] [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, I like to come.

[00:33:14] [SPEAKER_03]: I like the whole she is.

[00:33:17] [SPEAKER_03]: I like the I like the Netflix and reef.

[00:33:19] [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, we're going to write that.

[00:33:23] [SPEAKER_03]: Let's cuddle up in Netflix and reef.

[00:33:26] [SPEAKER_04]: Yes.

[00:33:27] [SPEAKER_04]: Yes.

[00:33:28] [SPEAKER_04]: My kind of night I promise you that that's why and that's why I said if I ever land with a good man.

[00:33:35] [SPEAKER_04]: Dude, I'm so damn low maintenance it don't make no damn sense. Let me just can we roll a blunt wash the latest series on Netflix.

[00:33:43] [SPEAKER_04]: Can we just have a picnic in the backyard and there's another thing that they don't understand.

[00:33:48] [SPEAKER_04]: Majority of the women that I affiliate with are low maintenance when I say they're low maintenance, they like simplicity.

[00:33:55] [SPEAKER_04]: The effort is the thing that is lacking.

[00:33:58] [SPEAKER_04]: And the effort is so simple.

[00:34:01] [SPEAKER_03]: When you say low maintenance, I don't hear low maintenance. I hear understanding I hear mindset that's actually closer to a man.

[00:34:11] [SPEAKER_04]: Right.

[00:34:12] [SPEAKER_03]: Man, I feel it sounds like somebody skipping out on a best friend.

[00:34:17] [SPEAKER_03]: Like Nick that's this your best friend your partner and your love you get to have fun.

[00:34:23] [SPEAKER_03]: But you get to eat you get to have somebody take care.

[00:34:27] [SPEAKER_03]: Don't get yourself.

[00:34:32] [SPEAKER_03]: That's a problem.

[00:34:34] [SPEAKER_03]: People biggest problem they not get they not.

[00:34:39] [SPEAKER_03]: They may ain't a friend.

[00:34:42] [SPEAKER_03]: I like my mate being my friend. I like what my friend give me some.

[00:34:51] [SPEAKER_03]: That's your friend they've been listening you all day they know they know how you want to get daddy won't you get yourself.

[00:34:57] [SPEAKER_03]: They know when you want to get all that they pay attention.

[00:35:06] [SPEAKER_04]: You know what since you're a standup comedian.

[00:35:08] [SPEAKER_04]: Do you encourage body positivity during your stand up.

[00:35:12] [SPEAKER_03]: I go in. Yes, I do and I go in on male comedians who pick on fat girls with my company.

[00:35:20] [SPEAKER_03]: It is Instagram has made it you know very very blatant.

[00:35:25] [SPEAKER_03]: It's a thin line point comedy and BBW okay and not separate the two.

[00:35:29] [SPEAKER_03]: Right.

[00:35:30] [SPEAKER_03]: About fat girls when they're in my circle of my community.

[00:35:35] [SPEAKER_03]: And I appreciate that.

[00:35:37] [SPEAKER_03]: You won't know what especially in the black community you won't.

[00:35:40] [SPEAKER_03]: If you are in a black community right black comedian and you are a male black comedian.

[00:35:47] [SPEAKER_03]: That's not talking about BBW do you want to know why won't know why because they spend the most money in our community on comedy food.

[00:35:58] [SPEAKER_03]: But black women run this market.

[00:36:02] [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, BBW black women run this market.

[00:36:05] [SPEAKER_03]: You want to know why your market shares as well bro.

[00:36:11] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and you know what and that's the funny thing about it because I see we know a lot of comedians on social media.

[00:36:17] [SPEAKER_04]: And at the same time, you know some of these opportunities for comedians online is a warm up sessions what I call it if you do it right.

[00:36:26] [SPEAKER_04]: But there's also others that display their blatant disrespect if you are a certain size.

[00:36:35] [SPEAKER_04]: And they I'm like okay so how you on here talking shit.

[00:36:38] [SPEAKER_04]: When we're the main ones in the club buying tickets to see your sorry ass.

[00:36:42] [SPEAKER_03]: How is you all here talking shit and your mama built up just like who you talking about don't your mama look like that.

[00:36:49] [SPEAKER_03]: That's what kill me.

[00:36:51] [SPEAKER_01]: I know.

[00:36:53] [SPEAKER_04]: I know there's some women of size in your family.

[00:36:56] [SPEAKER_04]: I know there's some women of size that are your friends.

[00:36:58] [SPEAKER_04]: I know there's some women of size that you work with.

[00:37:03] [SPEAKER_04]: But you have a problem and thinking it's out the norm.

[00:37:08] [SPEAKER_04]: Not if it ain't your flavor fine, but if you're going to be disrespectful because it's not your flavor.

[00:37:14] [SPEAKER_04]: That's when you will get rid of the right act.

[00:37:17] [SPEAKER_03]: Move along sir just move along.

[00:37:19] [SPEAKER_03]: I use somebody on the treadmill.

[00:37:29] [SPEAKER_04]: Don't underestimate.

[00:37:30] [SPEAKER_04]: We BBW do some physical things to now not just in the bedroom because you know and that's the thing another thing that kills me when you do sign up for a gym.

[00:37:40] [SPEAKER_04]: You may not be trying to reach a certain goal you're just trying to stay active and they have more equipment available for you to take advantage of and you'll get certain looks at the gym like what's up there is doing up in here.

[00:37:51] [SPEAKER_04]: You're doing the same thing you're doing.

[00:37:54] [SPEAKER_02]: We're wearing and wearing leggings working out wearing leg got a lot of leg.

[00:37:59] [SPEAKER_02]: The same thing you do wearing leggings.

[00:38:04] [SPEAKER_04]: But don't you think that people at the gym will be more encouraging instead of giving those little high school junior high school stairs and gawks.

[00:38:14] [SPEAKER_04]: I would think that you know if you see a person in the gym and they're trying to work out that you will be encouraging instead of making them fill out the norm.

[00:38:24] [SPEAKER_03]: Some people need to look down on others to make this self same higher.

[00:38:32] [SPEAKER_03]: Exactly.

[00:38:33] [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know.

[00:38:37] [SPEAKER_03]: No, I said,

[00:38:37] [SPEAKER_03]: you have to buy yourself.

[00:38:40] [SPEAKER_03]: But at the same time, I get it.

[00:38:43] [SPEAKER_03]: There is something that I get you know everybody has a preference.

[00:38:49] [SPEAKER_03]: My preferences be be that south.

[00:38:54] [SPEAKER_04]: I was also going to ask, do you think that women of size have a pressure point that's in bread and them from their family.

[00:39:07] [SPEAKER_04]: You know because you'll have family members certain family members.

[00:39:10] [SPEAKER_04]: And if the child is a little chunky and stuff like that, oh you need to stop feeding them so much and start that or they start belittling the child because they are having weight problems or you know, just extra weight.

[00:39:23] [SPEAKER_03]: My mate likes me this that I am.

[00:39:27] [SPEAKER_03]: And I went through that I was a fat kid.

[00:39:30] [SPEAKER_03]: I was a fat guy.

[00:39:31] [SPEAKER_03]: I was upwards of 260 270.

[00:39:35] [SPEAKER_03]: Altitude.

[00:39:36] [SPEAKER_03]: Altitude.

[00:39:37] [SPEAKER_03]: I had, I had munger area.

[00:39:40] [SPEAKER_03]: They stretched out and she's not the area.

[00:39:44] [SPEAKER_03]: It was like, it's like, look, he thought they were stressed out to break the right size nine.

[00:39:50] [SPEAKER_03]: I ain't skiing snapback like right back.

[00:39:55] [SPEAKER_03]: But my mate take my mate tells me to calm down because I ain't been big like this as I was 20.

[00:40:03] [SPEAKER_03]: No when I graduated high school I was in the weight room and I came out cocked diesel swallow but can't nobody tell me nothing.

[00:40:08] [SPEAKER_03]: I will always see myself that way.

[00:40:11] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[00:40:12] [SPEAKER_04]: And that is kind of a complex it's hard to shake.

[00:40:16] [SPEAKER_04]: It is.

[00:40:17] [SPEAKER_03]: I go through that I see myself with this baby on me.

[00:40:23] [SPEAKER_03]: I make myself snap out of it because we started talking about BBW women it's a lot of women and like BBW men.

[00:40:33] [SPEAKER_04]: I just say big don't sound right from BBW just that the lead for the ladies I like big man.

[00:40:40] [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, I know I was at the gas station. And it was a it was a guy in his uniform in front of me you know he had a role on his neck.

[00:40:47] [SPEAKER_03]: I wanted to pay him no attention, but it was a lady behind me and she had a baby with her.

[00:40:53] [SPEAKER_03]: Look there about five years ago had a baby hand and hold her baby hand that ladies standing behind me and she said,

[00:41:00] [SPEAKER_03]: Big back motherfucker.

[00:41:03] [SPEAKER_03]: She wasn't talking to her I was about to finish I could be at that point time I had a little back that lady look past me.

[00:41:10] [SPEAKER_03]: I had on Jordans I was smelling good I have my haircut.

[00:41:13] [SPEAKER_03]: I thought I was cute she looked past by the last he said,

[00:41:18] [SPEAKER_03]: Big back motherfucker.

[00:41:32] [SPEAKER_03]: Ladies, ladies like big old back.

[00:41:34] [SPEAKER_04]: You need to come out with a BBW full play or you know, kinky sayings for BBWs.

[00:41:43] [SPEAKER_04]: I think you can nail it.

[00:41:45] [SPEAKER_04]: I really.

[00:41:50] [SPEAKER_04]: That was a very enlightening conversation I had with conflict now that was not the full interview so if you guys want to see the full interview you guys have got to check out conflict.

[00:41:58] [SPEAKER_04]: Facial expressions.

[00:42:00] [SPEAKER_04]: All you got to do is check out the full interview on my YouTube channel.

[00:42:04] [SPEAKER_04]: Talk to me Michelle, but conflicts, passion and genuine appreciation for BBWs truly highlight the importance of challenging social stigmas and embracing the diverse beauty that exists around us.

[00:42:15] [SPEAKER_04]: A huge thank you again for conflict coming through and sharing your experiences and stories.

[00:42:20] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm letting you know right now those insights he gave.

[00:42:24] [SPEAKER_04]: They were not only entertaining, but it also inspired me as it should be inspiring to everybody to foster a more inclusive and accepting community.

[00:42:34] [SPEAKER_04]: I want to thank you guys for tuning into this episode of talk to me Michelle.

[00:42:38] [SPEAKER_04]: If you found value in today's discussion, please subscribe, leave a review and share this episode with family and friends.

[00:42:45] [SPEAKER_04]: They may benefit from the message of love and acceptance.

[00:42:47] [SPEAKER_04]: Also, you can follow me on all social media platforms at talk to me Michelle and also make sure that YouTube is subscribed y'all notifications are on.

[00:42:57] [SPEAKER_04]: And if you like the content and you would love to support the show, make sure you head on over to buy me a coffee dot com backslash talk to me Michelle.

[00:43:06] [SPEAKER_04]: Of course I got the merch, but the content keeps coming with your support.

[00:43:10] [SPEAKER_04]: Thank you guys again and until next episode. Peace.