In this episode of Talk to Me Michele, we dive deep into the complex world of the word "bitch." From its origins as a slur to its modern-day use as a symbol of strength, this word provokes a wide range of emotions. Why do some women find it offensive while others embrace it as a badge of empowerment? We explore how the B-word is used in media, culture, and even casual friendships. We'll also discuss how its meaning changes when men use it in arguments, on the streets, or in romantic relationships—and the importance of consent in intimate settings. Tune in for a raw, insightful conversation on the power and paradox of the B-word!
[00:00:00] Hey listeners! Exciting news!
[00:00:04] Talk To Me Michele podcast merchandise is now available.
[00:00:07] From our signature bucket hats to travel mugs, coffee mugs, stickers, and more,
[00:00:13] visit by meacoffee.com backslash Talk To Me Michele to get yours today.
[00:00:47] It's Michele. Another episode is upon us.
[00:00:51] And I really want to get to something that may be slightly controversial, but it really isn't.
[00:00:57] And it is the power of the B-word.
[00:00:59] Now, I'm not gonna hit around y'all know where it is, so don't be so sensitive in this episode.
[00:01:04] Because the word bitch is used in different contexts.
[00:01:09] Bitch! Now, later though.
[00:01:11] But you said bitch though.
[00:01:13] Hmm?
[00:01:14] You said bitch.
[00:01:16] Yeah.
[00:01:17] And why does this word hold so much power and a little controversy?
[00:01:23] When you hear the word bitch, what comes to mind?
[00:01:27] The insult, it cuts deep, it may spark anger, may spark hurt.
[00:01:33] And for others, it's a badge of honor.
[00:01:36] A declaration of strength and power.
[00:01:38] Like I'm a boss, be a arch!
[00:01:42] But it's amazing how one word can provoke so many different emotions.
[00:01:49] You know, from being offended to being empowered.
[00:01:52] And depending on who's saying it.
[00:01:54] Let's be very detailed when we talk about this because it depends on who is saying it.
[00:01:59] That's the bottom line and how it is used.
[00:02:02] So I want to cover in this episode about the complexity of the B-word.
[00:02:06] We're going to unpack the triggers, some strong reactions and explore how it's evolved to both be a weapon and a symbol of independence.
[00:02:17] There is a historical context when it comes to the word bitch and an evolution of it as well.
[00:02:24] It originally comes from the old English, bashi, and it's spelled B-I-C-C-E.
[00:02:31] And that means female dog.
[00:02:32] But you give it a little time.
[00:02:35] It did evolve into a derogatory term that was used to insult women.
[00:02:40] It's equating us to be aggressive or unpleasant.
[00:02:45] By the 15th century, the word began using as straight slurs against women.
[00:02:50] It had real negative effects and meaning to it.
[00:02:55] But in recent years, particularly in the 20th century, this term has been reclaimed by some women.
[00:03:02] As a symbol of strength and empowerment.
[00:03:05] And it's turned this word that once used to demean women, now it expresses confidence, resilience, and independence.
[00:03:14] So how has the B-word shifted?
[00:03:16] I mean, it's undergone significant transformations over time.
[00:03:20] And historically, like I said, it was a derogatory term that was aimed specifically at women.
[00:03:26] But let me throw this in the mix.
[00:03:27] Now that we're in a new time bracket, don't think that men escaped that title either.
[00:03:34] Because I'm telling you, among men and women, that term's been used toward men.
[00:03:41] We'll get into that a little bit deeper.
[00:03:43] But when it comes to it being addressed to women, it's conveyed as aggression, unpleasantness, submissiveness.
[00:03:50] So in that context, it's primary used to belittle or degrade women.
[00:03:55] And especially when a man says it, I mean, that is just a trigger.
[00:03:59] When a man says the word bitch in moments of anger or disrespect, it has a whole new impact on you.
[00:04:07] But let me get back to why some men are considered bitch men.
[00:04:12] And that's a nice term I'm using.
[00:04:15] But when I say that about a man, I say that he has girly qualities.
[00:04:22] And I'm not saying girly qualities as far as a sexual preference, but girly qualities as far as his attitude, his character is very, you know, you know, just, you know, you do you're doing too much kind of energy.
[00:04:35] And I don't think men should be in a position unless there's, you know, man and man thing doing too much, especially when it comes to women.
[00:04:41] I am very leery when I see men consistently going at it with women.
[00:04:45] I'm like, oh, that's one of the bees.
[00:04:47] Now let's talk about this word being reclaimed by many women in communities as a symbol of strength and empowerment.
[00:04:53] You know, we got those phases boss bitch or I'm a bad bitch are often used to celebrate the independence and the confidence that we all have phrases like boss bitch or bad bitch.
[00:05:07] That's often used to celebrate independence and confidence.
[00:05:10] Now those contexts, you know, the word flips the original meaning.
[00:05:15] So it doesn't imply any type of weakness, insulting, but instead standing for resilience control and self worth.
[00:05:23] So with the shift being so popular and pop culture and music, we have artists and influencers that proudly use the word to promote female empowerment and turning what was once a slur into a declaration of power.
[00:05:39] You look at women like Cardi B. Let me know what clip you see of Cardi B, which I love to death fellow Libra sister.
[00:05:47] Show me a clip of Cardi B just being Cardi B. Count how many times the word bitch come out my mouth.
[00:05:53] And these bitch ass niggas, this little motherfucking bitch ass nigga, I had interviews with him before these bitch ass niggas.
[00:05:59] Let's get to the horror of the matter. Why do women find this word so offensive?
[00:06:03] It's used to be littlest. That's why. And like I mentioned earlier, especially when men say it in argument of situations, it takes a whole new impact.
[00:06:13] So women are going to often react strongly when men use the word bitch.
[00:06:17] That's an insult because it carries this deep rooted undertone with women.
[00:06:23] And when a man uses that term, especially in public, women are going to react strongly when men use this word.
[00:06:29] I'm telling you because you're saying it to insult me and it carries such these these deep rooted negative undertones.
[00:06:38] So when a man uses the term, especially if you're in public or in a relationship, oh my sweet Jesus.
[00:06:46] It's so much worse if y'all don't, if you guys don't play back and forth with each other like that and y'all have an understanding of those boundaries.
[00:06:54] That's fine. But if it's just out the blue when y'all getting an argument or you ain't agreeing or whatever the case may be and it just, bitch.
[00:07:02] Whoa, hold up. I promise you I had that situation.
[00:07:08] Um, guy I was seeing and I cut his ass off.
[00:07:12] And the thing about that was that something that was not a normal, you know, correspondence that wasn't normal.
[00:07:20] And he knew I had boundaries. So I don't know if he felt frisky that day, but his frisky is got his ass cut off.
[00:07:28] If the term bitch is used in relationships is going to be particularly hurtful because it's going to break trust and respect.
[00:07:36] It signals a lack of value for a woman and you being her partner.
[00:07:41] No, that's not what you're supposed to say.
[00:07:43] And like I said, again, it depends on who says it, how it's used.
[00:07:48] So if the man I'm involved with and I have emotions for and all of a sudden he spews it.
[00:07:53] So that's why I'm telling y'all if you are in a relationship men, that's going to be very hurtful for her to hear you say that to her because it's going to break her trust and her respect for you.
[00:08:07] So let's get to the empowerment because boss bitch culture is among us.
[00:08:11] Okay, the word bitch has been reclaimed by women, especially in this pop culture we have is a symbol of empowerment and self confidence.
[00:08:18] So women have taken this derogatory meaning and they flipped it using it to express our strength or independence.
[00:08:26] And these terms, like I said again, we got the boss bitch, we got the bad bitch.
[00:08:30] They're embraced in music.
[00:08:32] You see it on social media, even on the runway when they are doing fashion is on the runway.
[00:08:39] And so it puts us in a powerful position and we're unapologetic on how we make our moves and pursue our goals.
[00:08:48] Think about it.
[00:08:49] Look at the artist that have come out in this time.
[00:08:51] We have artists like Beyonce.
[00:08:54] I mentioned Cardi B earlier, Nicki Minaj.
[00:08:57] They have popularized this word to wear it as a badge of honor.
[00:09:02] So, you know, I know older generations are a little confused, but I can understand it because I'm part of the culture to angle in the light.
[00:09:10] So claiming that title allows women to take ownership of the term and redefines it and it's a more positive than a negative.
[00:09:19] And you may still be asking yourself how is that a positive?
[00:09:22] Okay, let's take the term.
[00:09:23] I'm a boss bitch.
[00:09:24] Okay, so when that said it should represent declaration of strength, confidence and independence.
[00:09:32] So it's a woman that's in control of her life.
[00:09:35] She's not apologizing for how she's moving both personally and professionally.
[00:09:41] So it's going to celebrate a woman.
[00:09:42] It's going to empower a woman and portrays women as a leader.
[00:09:47] They embrace the authority that they have, the success they have, and they don't feel no necessity to explain this.
[00:09:54] The success, as long as they do the work and the success shows that's all you need to know.
[00:10:00] That's a boss bitch.
[00:10:03] Prime example, I listened to the breakfast club on a regular basis and they have the ads in between.
[00:10:09] So they had an advertisement plan for Paris Hilton, which I did not know who was, is she still singing?
[00:10:15] I did not know.
[00:10:16] But she has a single out now called Bad Bitch Academy.
[00:10:21] Now I personally will not be streaming that because just the ad was enough for me.
[00:10:25] Now you give me a song like Rihanna's Bitch Better Have My Money.
[00:10:28] Oh, I'm rocking that all day long and I feel the attitude in that.
[00:10:32] You owe me money?
[00:10:33] Bitch, where's my money?
[00:10:36] When it comes to girlfriend interactions, because I know that's going to come up.
[00:10:39] Well, y'all call each other bitch all the time.
[00:10:41] Well, let me tell you about that because it is a bond.
[00:10:45] Okay, it's not just a phrase.
[00:10:47] We have number one rapport.
[00:10:50] So I just can't randomly meet somebody after a network and events.
[00:10:53] Hey bitch, you want to go for a coffee?
[00:10:55] No, I can't do that.
[00:10:56] I don't know if she walks that way.
[00:10:58] But see after you know, you be around each other, you feel each other out and you see where they socialize
[00:11:04] and how they expect to be interacted with.
[00:11:07] That's all you need to know.
[00:11:08] So the word bitches use casually between women.
[00:11:11] That is like our code sometimes, you know, it shifts from the offensive origins to playful bonding phrase.
[00:11:20] If you guys were fans of the Gospel and Heffa's podcast, you knew my sister and I would call each other that all day every day.
[00:11:28] Problem is people mistake that, you know, that's siblings.
[00:11:33] You can't you can't call her a bitch and vice versa.
[00:11:38] That's our turn for each other.
[00:11:39] So when people, you know, get a little too comfortable, but that's the way it is.
[00:11:44] That's a bonding phase.
[00:11:46] Bitch, you doing a good job.
[00:11:48] Bitch, you doing a good job.
[00:11:49] Bitch, you doing a good job.
[00:11:51] Bitch, you doing a good job.
[00:11:53] Fuck that laundry.
[00:11:54] Fuck that dish.
[00:11:55] Take a break and shake that shit.
[00:11:58] Now when it comes to the friendships, it can be used as a greeting.
[00:12:02] You know, you see a girl, hey bitch what's going on?
[00:12:05] Or you know, it's a way to express shared excitement.
[00:12:08] Yes bitch, yes.
[00:12:11] So in those contexts the word can be stripped of the harshness that it becomes an inside joke or expression of closeness.
[00:12:18] And it's a way for women to affirm their relationships and show and support for each other, celebrating each other.
[00:12:23] Because I'm telling you behind the scenes with my girlfriends, I'm like bitch do that.
[00:12:28] Do that.
[00:12:29] And it's just automatic when I have rapport with these women and I see them doing well for themselves and I get the same thing from them.
[00:12:35] Now when a man uses this word, it depends sometimes on the situation.
[00:12:41] I know most of y'all are going to say it don't depend and yes it does.
[00:12:44] It does depend because the meaning of this word already signifies so much negativity.
[00:12:50] So when a man puts it out there, especially during arguments that's already not playing in your favor bro.
[00:12:57] I'm just telling you don't say that during an argument.
[00:12:59] I don't know like I said the background of it, but I know just every situation I've seen where there's a relationship involved and the bitch has dropped from his end.
[00:13:09] Oh it's never been a nice ending, never.
[00:13:12] But you can twist that in your relationship.
[00:13:15] And like I said depends on your boundaries and your partner's boundaries.
[00:13:19] Using that term during foreplay.
[00:13:23] Sometimes that could be a little spicy just depending on how you say it.
[00:13:29] Oh you stank a bitch.
[00:13:31] If you say something like that then you definitely have to bedroom.
[00:13:34] But you may want to find a way to land that and discuss it with her so there won't be no misunderstandings afterwards.
[00:13:40] That's why you got to make sure that it's clear communication about them boundaries.
[00:13:43] It is crucial.
[00:13:45] So you can be empowering one partner and the other one could be feeling degraded.
[00:13:50] So just make sure beforehand both of y'all feel safe.
[00:13:54] Y'all both will be respected during these moments.
[00:13:57] So don't just go into the bedroom and just randomly fly.
[00:14:01] Hey bitch.
[00:14:01] No, no.
[00:14:03] Have a conversation.
[00:14:04] Have understanding in the boundaries and respect.
[00:14:06] We good.
[00:14:09] So again the word bitch can be used and seen in so many different ways and forms.
[00:14:15] And like I said again it depends on the situation who is coming from and how it's meant.
[00:14:21] So we all know all these different breakdowns on how the word bitch should be used.
[00:14:26] So if you knew to the bitch feel that's what we're going to call it new to bitch feel.
[00:14:31] Let me give you the highlights.
[00:14:32] We already know that it has historical context and it started derogatory but now we are an empowerment role also the offensive versus the empowerment.
[00:14:41] We went over why we women find it offensive when it's used as an insult especially by a man and how it's reclaimed for a term of empowerment.
[00:14:51] And casually used among the girlfriends so the word is playful among women that are greeting bonding you know just demonstrating the shifts in relationships and again that's an empowerment moment too.
[00:15:04] But like I said men's usage.
[00:15:06] Ah, y'all may want to.
[00:15:08] Y'all don't really care too much nowadays anyway but I'm just saying if you have any type of morals trying to get with somebody just keep that off the menu.
[00:15:16] So I appreciate everybody tuning in.
[00:15:19] I hope you guys enjoy this bitch episode.
[00:15:23] Make sure you guys stay tuned on YouTube.
[00:15:26] We got some great stuff coming.
[00:15:28] Go to my YouTube channel subscribe and hit the notification buttons and you can follow me on all social media platforms at talk to me Michelle and make sure you support the brand by heading on over to buy me a coffee.
[00:15:41] We got merchandise over there and if you want to keep the content coming it helps us cover these expenses.
[00:15:47] I appreciate it y'all so buy me a coffee dot com backslash talk to me Michelle and I will see you next episode peace.
[00:16:13] Hey there podcast lovers are you enjoying our episodes and want to help keep the magic going.
[00:16:19] We need your support head over to buy me a coffee and make a small donation to support our show.
[00:16:25] Your contributions help us create more amazing content bring in exciting guests and improve the overall podcast experience.
[00:16:33] Every little bit helps and by donating you become a vital part of our podcast family.
[00:16:38] Plus we have some exclusive perks and shout outs for our generous supporters with your support.
[00:16:44] We can continue delivering the content you love so if you're enjoying the show consider buying us a coffee today.
[00:16:51] Visit by me a coffee dot com backslash talk to me Michelle and show your support.
[00:16:56] Thanks for helping us keep the show running.