In this episode, Michele tackles the often-overlooked issue of messy male behavior, examining how certain toxic traits manifest in men and affect relationships and society. With a mix of humor and critical analysis, Michele explores the cultural and psychological factors behind these behaviors, offering insights into how they can be addressed and transformed. Joined by experts and engaging guests, this episode provides a candid look at the impact of problematic behaviors and encourages a more thoughtful and constructive approach to understanding and improving male conduct.
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[00:00:51] To another episode of Talk To Me Michele. I'm your host, Michele.
[00:01:23] Hey, y'all. I'm feeling good, y'all. Don't you feel my vibrations through the device you're listening to me on? My voice got a nice little light tone, you know why? I've been doing some things. I'm going to share that with you in a minute, but welcome in. Thank you guys for subscribing, liking, sharing. And you guys, hey, I got my bucket hat in. I will be posting my pictures on social media. I'm very proud of my bucket hats. I love bucket hats.
[00:01:47] I got them all available on buymeacoffee.com backslash talktomemichelle. Not only am I rocking what I like, but I'm advertising. You got to market yourself out here in these streets. It ain't easy. What I have been doing and why I have a good vibe on me. I try to, but it's definitely in sync. And when I say it's in sync, I've never been on this mental, spiritual journey that I'm currently going through.
[00:02:15] And I'm experiencing such positive and some truthful reactions, which is part of this podcast. My sister and I recently began taking spiritual baths recommended by Tamika, also known as healing underscore hoods underscore corp. And after having a very insightful reading with her, she emphasized very heavily the importance of cleansing ourselves from the negativity and bad energy and encouraged us to speak positive affirmations into existence over a span of seven days.
[00:02:44] I know I was, is this really going to help me? I mean, these baths have not only provided a sense of relief from the burdens and negative energy, but have also revealed deeper truths about our surroundings. And I'm saying, you know, the people you roll with, the people you think are your people. So during the cleansing process, we've uncovered, you know, hidden realities, including the true nature of people in our lives.
[00:03:08] For instance, we recently discovered that someone we held in high regard have been speaking negatively about us behind our backs and denied it when we were confronted this person till the evidence surface. Now it can't be denied. This eye opening experience has inspired me to explore the topic of girly men. I want to address it because I've been seeing a little too much of it is girly man behavior.
[00:03:37] That's what I call it. That's what I call it. I do have other terms I like to use, but I'm trying to be respectful. But right now, girly man is what we're going to call it. So I want to get into the world of grown men exhibiting behavior typically associated with gossip and messiness. I'm seeing too many men partake in this activity. We'll explore how these men create this drama. They play both sides and they even manipulate women against each other.
[00:04:07] So I want to discuss the motivations behind their actions and the consequences for such behavior. I have really been holding back on talking about this, but I have to. And the reason I have to is because this new set of men that women are forced to deal with. And I'm not saying all men, I'm saying some men, but see, some of these men are doing more representation. There's too many of them out here.
[00:04:36] I just remember growing up a different type of man that not only worked, brought home the bacon, took care of his wife, his kids, was a responsible member of the community and didn't participate in girly behavior. Now, when I say girly man, I'm not saying that anything about his sexuality. I'm saying something about his behavior, how he moves. I've seen too many grown men exhibiting behaviors that are associated with gossip, drama and messiness.
[00:05:06] So I want to shine a little light on the motivations behind their actions, the impact that they're having on relationships and how to recognize and handle this behavior. Because like I say, I cut it off short. Once I find out you are a girly man, I cannot with you. Now, Michelle, what do you mean when you say girly man? Okay.
[00:05:31] A girly man are grown ass men who engage in behavior typically associated with all the messy, unnecessary drama. So let's start with one. They like to gossip and spread rumors. They like to share your secrets. They like to spread secrets and they like to spread rumors and they like to keep the drama alive, but they do it behind the scenes. Some do.
[00:05:54] Those are the ones you got to watch because they'll play a certain character in your face, but be doing all kind of slimy shit behind closed doors. They might talk behind people's backs, revealing private information to others and their own just to amuse themselves and to stir up shit. They can also be responsible for creating and stirring up drama. They actively seek out what kind of conflict can I create? Going to enjoy the chaos. I'm just going to sit back with the popcorn.
[00:06:21] They instigate fights, spread misinformation or exaggerate situations to escalate whatever they're trying to do. And they also like to play both sides. You know, I understand you're trying to keep the peace, but when you know wrong is wrong, you got to call that out. So don't play both sides of the conflict and pretend to be supportive to all the parties involved. See, that's something else I don't like. Well, you know, I'm friends with them. I'm friends with them. I'm friends with them. Well, that's wonderful. But you know your friend is doing some stupid slick shit.
[00:06:51] And regardless on how close anybody is, if I see my friend moving behind the scenes doing nasty, messy, bullshit, unnecessary drama, I am going to check them on it because I would not be a good friend to anyone if I didn't check them on their own bullshit like they need to check me on mine. Now, these men also manipulate women against each other.
[00:07:15] I've seen too many just conflicts over worthless ass men. And I'm not saying they're not worthless because they don't meet certain standards. I'm saying they worthless period because they invest themselves into messy nonsense with women. I've seen women go back and forth over a gas station Negro. I'm just telling what I've witnessed my damn self. These type of men are like the little young girls who like to post a lot of pictures for attention.
[00:07:44] That's where it is. They seek attention, any validation. And at their core is just driven for the need for attention. I'm gonna give you a prime example. Like you guys talk about how women post up too many booty pics and stuff. How many brothers do you see that are in the gym, half naked, showing off his body? And you're like, okay, why do I have to see your ass in this position every day? Now, I know you call yourself trying to either get some or impress some.
[00:08:12] It's just a little too much as a man to be doing that. What girly men are good at is baiting and playing both sides. I'm telling you, this is like Negro Shakespeare when you see them go into action. It is. And you can understand, you know, Shakespeare may be a little difficult to interpret for some. But see, Negro Shakespeare, you understand completely what's going on. Now, spreading gossip and rumors.
[00:08:42] I don't like men that involve themselves so deeply. Like, you know, girlfriends would. Girl, you hear so-and-so. I heard so-and-so. You know, that's what I picture. I picture a man with a bonnet on painting his fingernails on the phone. Yah. Because, you know, when they get involved with this gossip, you also have the opportunity to plant seeds. And the seeds blossom into conflict.
[00:09:11] And it gives you an opportunity to escalate the situation. You're going to sit back. It's like you put a pot on the stove and you put it up too high. The water boils out. The pot starts to burn. That's what they do. Now, I also love it when they play victim. You know, they all, and this behavior is a little too much as well. In general. But in this situation, them playing the victim. Portraying themselves as, you know, they've got injustice.
[00:09:38] Pump everybody up around you to take their side. And engage in the conflict. You know, I saw one person that accusations were out there. This person must have did a damn viral tour on the defense. We're going to call it the guilt tour. When I see men antagonizing conflicts, they are provoking others. They make inflammatory comments. Just topics that have nothing to do with the current conversation. I've seen men, the first thing out they mouth. That's why you ain't got no man.
[00:10:08] Or where your man at. So first of all, you going back to caveman mentality. Thinking that validates me as a woman. With or without a man. I don't put my business out here on the street. You don't know what the hell I got going on. Unlike your ass. And then they always come for women's weight. Or their age. I'm like, first of all. You blessed if you do get old. Alright. You blessed if you do have a moment in your life. Before you leave this plan to mature and enjoy prosperity.
[00:10:38] But see you focused on the wrong shit. So anybody who's trying to do better for themselves. Or minding their business and drinking their water. You want to pull into the conflict. Got nothing to do with it. People that you involve may not even know each other. Until they interact with a conflict. Because of some shit you started. Now I love it when they create misinformation. And they spread all these false misleading information. To confuse and upset other people. You know what?
[00:11:06] This is the ultimate girly man behavior. See, because whatever reason. That you feel that you're going to get a benefit. Of making up some bullshit. On a woman. Especially if you're a man. And see that's why I'm like. You really wearing your skirt right now. No offense. But y'all really wearing your skirts. When you sit up here and tell all kind of bullshit. And the thing about it is. People don't think for themselves as much as they used to. If you need to get involved. Do some research.
[00:11:35] But I'm just going to go with what they say. Because it was said. And these girly men love to manipulate your emotions. They like to play on women's emotions. They exploit others. Using flattery or guilt. And maybe even anger. To get what they need. To get a reaction. So when you emotionally manipulate people. It keeps them in their feelings. And it keeps the drama alive and relevant. Let's get a little psychological.
[00:12:06] Because there is psychological reasons for the behavior. I think it's just. I think too much estrogen and some food. I don't know what's going on. But. From a psychological aspect. It is a need for attention and validation. Again. But my main thing off of this. Which is the next one. Is insecurity. I believe that wholeheartedly. Any man that runs out here. And does any of the previous mentioned behavior. Definitely has insecurity.
[00:12:35] Because anybody who's secure. Whether you man or woman. You have better things to do with your time. And maybe because you invest yourself in such nonsense. And create situations. It distracts you from being your greater self. So you have doubt within yourself. And you feel. Well maybe I can validate myself by stirring up shit. That's very sad. And very girly. Then there's a control issue with that as well. Manipulating these situations.
[00:13:02] And people give them all the sense of control sometimes. They dominate over the whole social environment. And I'm like dude. You cannot run. Every. Live interaction you have. Every time y'all meet at Starbucks. You cannot dominate every space. It's not going to happen. And some of these girly men like to seek a little thrill. You know. I'm thrill seeking. Let me see what I can stir up. I'm like. Won't you just go. To Six Flags. Ride a roller coaster with your shirt off.
[00:13:31] And then maybe you'll feel a little manly. Why are you doing this in reality with people's lives? I have no idea. But you have nothing else better to do. And that shows me your lack of intellect. And your lack of creativity. Because like I said. I consider myself a creative individual. The more I stay away from the bullshit. The more creative I get. Now I said girly men pit women against each other. And I mean.
[00:13:59] I have seen numerous examples. On how one man take one woman in one corner. And put the other one in the other corner. And it's a boxing match. These women don't even know each other. But they going at each other. Because some sorry girly ass man. Stirred up some shit. Now they do it by the lies. They always spread the misinformation. One thing ladies. I want y'all to look out for. That a man that is flirting with multiple women.
[00:14:28] Says a lot to me. It says you need not only too much attention. But I think you a hoe. I automatically see a man. He is flirting in every virtual pair of drawers. To come across his way. A sweet. A clever. We will never part again. Not just in person. But a virtual hoe. Try to give you a little romance. They start expressing you know. Sexual desires with you.
[00:14:57] But they do it with multiple women. And they do it consistently. Don't think just because you batter up. That you only one standing on the own base. Let's get that straight. So when they you know. Flirt back and forth with multiple women. Again I didn't see. Women fall out over these gas station negroes. And I'm like okay. Neither one of y'all in a relationship. And I'm trying to see what y'all going back and forth for. You don't know each other. And this dude is just stirring up crap. And again I don't like these men.
[00:15:27] That go back and forth with women as it is. But you can definitely tell. When they start highlighting negative traits. Like you know I'm a big girl. And men think that saying something. Oh fat back. Oh good. You know something of that nature. I'm like okay. Well why are you concerned with it. And that's elementary. Because you know what. Especially for most of these. You know comedians online. That's the first thing they go for. And I'm like y'all got titties. What are you talking about. And they also got a bad habit of comparing women unfavorably against each other.
[00:15:56] And that's going to create animosity. Competition. I'm not. Let me tell you something. Once I see you all in her inbox. You all in that inbox. I have no interest. We had a dude. Matter of fact. My sister and I. And this is not the first time. I don't know what's going on with men. Knowing we sisters. We had a guy try to holler at my sister first. She brushed him off. Then he going to come over here to me. And I had an inbox in back.
[00:16:24] I'm like you know this is me right. This is not the other one. Because I'm aware of that situation. Yeah. Yeah. I know what's you. But no. You got to keep it. Keep it moving. You know the nerve that men have. Trying to manipulate. Girly men might selectively withhold information. They only share a part of the truth with you. Try to make you know. They share the parts that make them look good. They don't tell you the parts that got them there.
[00:16:53] But you know girly men move like a Quentin Tarantino movie. You know how Quentin Tarantino does not give you a straight film. It's all chopped up. It's not in sequence. That's what girly men do. They give you this piece. And they go over here and tell somebody else another piece. And when you try to put them together. You're all confused. Girly men like to play innocent. They always clutch they pearls. I'm just telling you. They act like they clueless. They are so innocent about the conflict they've created.
[00:17:21] I don't know what they're talking about. Whatever award you're going for. Yeah you about to get that. Because you shift in blame. All the women that you done got mixed up in your bullshit. Now you shifting the blame. And it makes it appear as though the women are the source of the problem. They always label us. You know they crazy. They always in some shit. So you know they always put a label on you. So anytime any beef goes down. And you in the mix. That's the label that comes up. I've seen it happen to several women.
[00:17:52] Once you have a conversation behind closed doors like grown women should do. And you leave these little girly men out the situation. You can resolve things. If not move on. Now girly men are somewhat like politicians. You know they like to create these false alliances. Pretending to form these close bonds with individual women. And they start sharing secrets and creating a false sense of trust. Women when you are into somebody I understand.
[00:18:20] Depending on how long you've known the guy or into him. You start to share a little bit more about yourself. And sometimes when you deal with a girly man. They take that to their advantage. Don't think that you know just because you throwing rocks and hiding your hands. There's no consequences. There's always consequences when you do this type of messy behavior. You see somebody that's constantly as a man in the mix. And it's always women that are affected. That is some nonsense.
[00:18:50] You're going to experience erosion of trust. When you as a man gossip and you manipulate. You start to create distrust. Between friends and business partners. Whatever the case may be. And the thing about girly men. They love to see the conflict go on another level. It's just constant drama. Too many arguments online. Too many misunderstandings. Oh well damn you didn't fell out with them too.
[00:19:19] Girly men also display emotional distress. You know they manipulate people to experience heightened stress. And anxiety and emotional pain. You ever be with somebody. And their energy is so damn bad. That when you get through talking to them. You feel drained. You are completely drained. And sometimes you're so drained. It may linger on you for a day or two. So they're causing you some stress. Giving you anxiety. Nobody need. Look. Life throws that out. Definitely.
[00:19:49] We don't have to worry about being skipped out on any of that. But when you have somebody purposely causing that in your life. You gotta go. Isolation is another side effect. I'm not gonna even lie to you. It got so bad on social media for my sister. Now that we had just. And see I wish people would also realize that people believe what they hear. Regardless whether they know you or not. You got to be a real man and a real woman to find out for yourself who people are.
[00:20:16] But when you go on hearsay and you don't even know these individuals. You really cannot think for yourself. Because there has been damage to a reputation out here. You know repeated involvement in conflicts. It's gonna you know harm anyone's social status. My sister and I will label as bandits. And people just stop messing with us. I'm like good. You know what. But for me it's not you know. Got me feeling any kind of way. It just cleared the room. Of the energy that was unnecessary.
[00:20:47] And for women being in the mix with this situation. Women sometimes we already have a tough time as it is in life. Because we're judged so harshly. What do we look like? How do we think? How do we smell? What do you do? Do you cook? You know it's a whole list for women. Like it is for men. But I'm speaking from a woman's perspective. And if you do not disengage yourself. You're gonna start experiencing a decreacement in your self-esteem.
[00:21:16] I mentioned earlier we was talking about how it causes stress. But it also causes depression. You know like I said. You exposed yourself for too long in this situation. And it's just sometimes you just gotta let some things go. For the better. I'm not gonna lie to you. Because I used to be the kind of person that if I heard my name called. I gotta run over there. And I had to react. I'm like really in reality? I don't know none of y'all like that. Why am I wasting or investing my energy in people I do not know?
[00:21:46] So the ongoing effort to navigate and manage the drama causes an emotional burnout. You just don't want to be bothered. You're mentally not even there. Because you are burned out. Too much exposure to it. Now although girly men will be girly men. Don't think that they're not going to have any effects. And I'm talking about their reputation and their social standing. Girly men are going to experience loss of trust.
[00:22:14] I don't care if it's just the women involved. But the word gets around. The word gets around so much it may affect you professionally. When people see you move in a certain way socially. You know y'all think that it don't affect your professional life. I don't understand that. HR is now checking all social media before they affiliate themselves with you. You got to keep that in mind. People you want to do business with are going to check out your social media first.
[00:22:44] People that you're trying to date. If they smart they're going to look at how you move on social media. It says a lot. People can say it's make-believe. But even though it's make-believe it says a lot for me. So you've already damaged relationships. You're going to get social isolation and a negative reputation. Word of mouth spreads. Now the next girly man behavior. I definitely got a story for this one. Okay.
[00:23:13] I said about the toll that take place. But you move like a girly man so much. You will have difficulty forming new relationships. I'm telling you. I know of an individual that was just moving so foul. Every interaction. Every time you turned around. It was just doing the most. And this is with several women. Women who tried to help this person. And it got to a point that. Hey. Your nonsense has to be shut down.
[00:23:41] And now it's so difficult for this person to move in the streets he wants to move. You've made it hard for yourself because you put out so many examples of your toxic ass behavior. And I really think with most of these girly men. It's self-perception. You know. Over time. A man is going to struggle with his own self-perception and self-worth. We face that every day. But sometimes when you very very girly. And you a man.
[00:24:10] You're facing the repercussions of your own actions at that point. Because you didn't move so foul. Everything that you put out has come back. Girly men give off a real tainted energy. And they try to cover it up with perfume. Perfume. And I'm not going to say cologne. I said perfume because they girly men. Now ladies. I'm not going to leave you hanging. And if you're a man listening to this episode. I appreciate it. Because this is really going on. Because y'all. You know. There are some real men out here.
[00:24:39] They just not the ones that I grew up with. But for the ladies out here. I'm going to give you a few tips on dealing with this girly man behavior. Because it's happening too often. So I want you to start recognizing these behaviors. We already discussed the previous behaviors. But what I want you to do is set your boundaries. When somebody come out of pocket first time with you. Check them. And I ain't saying you got to be disrespectful. I'm like you know. I had a matter of fact.
[00:25:08] I had a woman coming at me the other day in the comments. I'm like well we're not going to do this publicly. Let's talk behind the scenes. So you know if we're not going to do that. Then we're not discussing it no more. Case closed. That's my boundary. And I'm not going to engage in an argument. I'm not going to engage in the drama. Also get support. And I'm not saying you got to go to group therapy. Or nothing of that nature. But if you got a true set of friends. A true set of family members. That if you say hey.
[00:25:38] This has been going on. And if they're a real one. They're going to be like okay. Whoever you talking about is some bullshit. They will let you know up front. That sounds like some bullshit to me. I have you know conversations behind the scenes. You know several girlfriends. And we'll discuss situations. And they'll let me know. Or I'll let them know. That sounds like some bullshit. So set your boundaries. And just seek your support with your friends. Get that self respect first and foremost. Because see my thing.
[00:26:06] My self respect is so high. I'm not going to allow anybody else to disrespect me. So I hope you guys enjoyed today's episode. We explored the behaviors of girly ass men. Grown ass men that thrive on gossiping. The drama. Playing both sides. Pitting women against each other for their own gain. The psychological issues they have. And their motivations behind their actions. The emotional and mental toll on the women involved.
[00:26:36] That's my main concern. Damn them. Okay. Damn them girly ass men. The women involved is what I'm speaking to. And the long term consequences for them themselves. They don't realize like I said earlier. When you behave a certain way. You're trying to move a certain way. It will be looked at when it comes to that. So ladies recognizing these toxic behaviors. Is the first step to protecting yourself and your relationships from unnecessary drama. You know. But set them boundaries. Seek the support you need.
[00:27:06] Maintain your self respect. You can navigate through it. You don't have to worry about you know. Being manipulated. If you move a certain way. And peep the signs early. So I want to thank everybody again for tuning into this important discussion. I hope it's provided some valuable insights. Practical advice. And dealing with these girly ass men. I think I'm going to start coming up with an aspirin. It's going to be for women only. It's going to be the girly ass man aspirin. That's that's that's going to be it.
[00:27:36] I think that's a move because there's too much going on out here. But you know just keep your mental space. Your emotional peace. That's your well-being. That is the priority. Do not let that kind of behavior bait you. Pit you against another woman. And when it comes to women. I want y'all to warming up and have a conversation behind the scenes. Stop giving these people the show. They ain't paid no ticket. You working yourself up getting your blood pressure up for some people you don't know. Because of some girly ass man.
[00:28:05] Let's talk behind the scenes. And even if it gets riled up behind the scenes. At least it's not a public show for everybody to talk about. If you have any stories to share or questions to ask. Feel free to reach out. I appreciate your support. I'm looking forward to hearing from you. Leave me a voicemail at 832-463-0525. You can remain anonymous. So until next episode. And always take care and stay drama free. Peace.
[00:28:49] Hey listeners. Exciting news. Talk to me Michelle podcast merchandise is now available. From our signature bucket hats to travel mugs. Coffee mugs. Stickers and more. Visit buymeacoffee.com backslash talk to me Michelle to get yours today. See you next time. Bye.