EP 23: Achieving vs. Becoming

[00:00:00] I just gotta ask, what's more important, achieving or becoming? This episode is really juicy and internal, so you might want to stay tuned for this. Welcome to the Made Herself A Boss Podcast, which is on the NBG Podcast Network, the ultimate movement for female service-based entrepreneurs looking to grow to their next level.

[00:00:27] Here we deep dive into the key pillars of growth, foundation, focus, fellowship, and flow, all while weaving in the mindset shifts needed to truly transform. Whether you're starting or growing your business, we're here to empower, equip, and elevate you at every step of your journey. Let's redefine what's possible and do the work to achieve more in both your life and business. Time to tune in to this week's episode.

[00:00:53] Hey ladies, and welcome back to the Made Herself A Boss Podcast, where we discuss methods and mindsets to making more money in your business. In case this is your first time here, my name is Bree, this is my beautiful business partner. And I am shy, and today our episode is a little bit different, right? It's all in conversating, talking about the difference between achieving and becoming. And it all started with me being in my room, in a situation, not in a situation, but in a mood. And I was listening to a live when a guy asked the question.

[00:01:23] And he was like, well, what's more priority, achieving or becoming? And I was in awe like, oh, what is more important? I thought it would be a great discussion for us to talk to together as we are growing these businesses. It is my belief that becoming or the inner stuff always caliputes everything else that we desire.

[00:01:44] And here in Made Herself A Boss, we want to cater to the whole woman behind the boss, behind all of the building and the growing and the stuff. We love to cater to the person within. And I thought this was such a fruitful conversation naturally to just have in full transparency about it. Because I don't think we think about that often in the business of doing, right? We're in always doing mode. But when we sit back and think about it, as we're getting to the next goal, what's more important?

[00:02:15] What's more of a priority? Is it achieving or becoming? Well, for those people who may not, some people may think that it's the same thing. Like in terms of you're moving forward if you're achieving, you're moving forward if you're becoming. Both sound like it's the state of being here and then graduating to here. So for those who may not know what the difference is between achieving and becoming, what's a clear difference between the two? Internal and external.

[00:02:43] I believe that achieving is external. For an example, I achieved making X amount of money. I got to the goal. I did the launch. I did the things. And I think becoming is internal embodiment when I think of external. Internal. As I internalize, as I become this being, I end up achieving all of these things because I was it first. Right?

[00:03:10] So I think when you think of naturally the difference, think internal and external as far as achieving and becoming. So I'll take external, I mean internal because that's just my favorite thing. When I think about internally, we think about all the things that we talk about on the couch of our therapist's office. Right? Sometimes. But I think about we all want to be something. Right?

[00:03:33] We all have this vision of who we decide to be, who she is, what she looks like when we get to whatever that goal is. And then we look at where we are right now today. And there's some line in between that we can't see. It's gray. It's blurry. We can't really naturally see the in-between of that.

[00:03:52] And I think externally, all of the things that happen subconsciously, consciously within us is all of that internal work that helps us become to whatever the goal is. Right? So you already have to be that woman because we talk to a lot of women. If you're a guy, Washington, be that guy. Be that guy. You got to be that person today in order to achieve what you're desiring tomorrow.

[00:04:19] And I think sometimes that correlation can feel funny because it's all of the in-between stuff that we don't want to look in the mirror and deal with. Yeah. That helps us become. Because when you are becoming or in a state of embodiment, you are doing more achieving than you would. As when you weren't even being anything. Right. It kind of, it goes hand in hand in that way if you focus on becoming first.

[00:04:42] Like I can imagine, like as you're sitting here explaining, I'm thinking of so many times where I myself or speaking to others where they would associate the achieving as the becoming. Oh, now because I achieved this, you know, it's written on paper. I look good on paper now. External. Or I've achieved this in my bank account. Again, external, like all these external things, they think that that automatically is a becoming. But when you really think about it, it's a clear difference.

[00:05:11] You can get lucky and achieve something. You can have this spurt of energy or effort and achieve something. But are you becoming, are you embodied the person who this just happens to? This person easily achieves that stuff. This is, I'm the type of person or I am that person where this is just life for me. Yeah. You know, and not to say that it's absent of any effort, but this is like the standard of where I'm at because of who I am.

[00:05:40] Not just like external or temporary or things that don't really mean much at the end of the day. Yeah. So, again, I'm just so glad that you wrote that down because I've been having tons of conversations with people lately. And I think that they're thinking that achieving means becoming or that it's the same thing. No, it's not. Think about it like this. If you have the goal to become a millionaire, right, it's never really about the money, right?

[00:06:09] It's all about who you become internal on the way of being a millionaire. Yeah. So to embody that today, you have work to do on the inner money, mindset, mindset, forgiveness, all of the things, right? And as you are on the road, because you are already embodying those characteristics, all those things now, naturally walking in it now, you become. It's who you become on the way to X, to that millionaire.

[00:06:38] It's all about who you become on the road to the goal that you're desiring for yourself. And when you look back after you achieved it, you become so much better, so much proud or so much braver, right? You think about all of the ups and downs on the roads to whatever you're trying to achieve. But when you achieve it and you look back, you've become so much more. Yes. After you achieved it, though, it was the process.

[00:07:02] So I'm looking at it could be the process of achieving, but there is a clear difference between achieving something and becoming something. And I want to make sure that we have this conversation with you guys because we want to make sure that you guys are becoming her. Whatever the her is, embodying her, whatever that her is to you, that you are doing it in this moment. Even when you cannot see it, even when you feel doubtful, that you are doing it in this moment in various ways. That's so good.

[00:07:29] Okay, so think about becoming as your foundation. Your foundation to success that is sustainable. A lot of times we are in businesses, people are starting businesses, getting out of business because the business is not what? Sustainable, right? So think about when you're becoming, it's your way of being sustained in your thing. So now that you have the first step of as far as the becoming, knowing that it's your foundation on whatever the desired result is for yourself.

[00:07:59] Now let's talk through when you have these goals, personal, whatever, and say that you end up because you became it, you achieved it. But when it's not in alignment to your core values or who you are becoming, how it can leave you feeling a little bit of block. You ever reached a goal and then you thought it would be something so great, then you're like, yeah, this is when it's not all that. Or I don't like how it feels to be here or what it took to get here, what it took for me.

[00:08:28] And all that's important to really listen to yourself, especially once you have became her. Just like everything else is like an ongoing thing, right? Because we're always evolving. Once you have became her to the point where you're satisfied, like, I like who I am today. Those things really, there becomes a defined line with those things to me. Like, I feel like when you become her, you're more in tune with your discernment.

[00:08:57] This doesn't feel good to me. I don't think I wanted to be aligned with that. I don't think I like what it's going to take to get there that actually doesn't align with what I stand for. And so it might have to be a no. And these are things where your old self, before you became her, just would have looked at this achievement, no matter the method, and thought it was great. So what? You know, just throwing everything else to the wayside.

[00:09:21] But once you have internally become that person that you are proud of, who knows your values and knows your standards and are, like, just proud to look in the mirror. Yeah. And just proud to have how you are presenting outwardly, inwardly it out. It becomes much easier to say, you know, that's a no. Yeah. That's a no for me. Yeah. I don't think I would do that. Yeah. It's important to do that.

[00:09:46] I also think about how when the process to become, you're more in tune. Like you said, your discernment is stronger, but you're more in tune to whatever that goal is. It doesn't even make sense to who you're becoming. Sometimes we set a goal or we set a thing and we're all excited. But as we're in the process, sometimes in that middle process, we're realizing this is not in alignment to who I'm desiring to be anymore. Right. A little bit more what you said.

[00:10:15] And in that moment, I think it's okay to divert, pivot, divert. It's good to pivot. It's good to say, you know what? No. No. It's power in the no. There is so much power in the no when you're realizing some things and it's all because of you were in the, you're in the process to becoming. Yes. Yeah. So understand that your foundation is always going to be becoming. It's like sustainability one-on-one.

[00:10:43] And then once you realize that you are not sustained, but you're realizing what the foundation is, you're building upon it, upon your process to get there. And in the process, you may feel like once you are looking at the goals, looking at what you're trying to achieve, it may or may not be in alignment. And when you realize that it is or is not, it's okay to make those decisions to change your mind, change the direction that you are going. And speaking of change, we're going to change this commercial one and be right back. We'll be right back.

[00:11:12] Ready to grow your business without the grind? Visit growthwithoutgrind.com, the go-to resource for women entrepreneurs. From digital products and exclusive events to practical freebies and must-have tools, we have everything to help you grow no matter your stage in business. Say goodbye to burnout and hello to growth. Find what you need at growthwithoutgrind.com. Hey, ladies. Welcome back. Or gents. Welcome back from the break.

[00:11:41] So we just want to get right back into the conversation. Let's talk about what it means when you prioritize your mindset. So what does that even mean to you, prioritizing your mindset? For me, I think about prioritizing what makes sense for me, what will help me grow, what will help me get to the next step.

[00:12:02] And naturally, doing those things, success just becomes natural because I prioritize working on the things that I don't want to say out loud. Or mentally, right, right? I think about prioritizing who I'm becoming. And naturally, it's working on all that inner stuff with my therapist or with my friends or thinking through something differently.

[00:12:25] So I think when I naturally prioritize those things, success just becomes a natural byproduct because I got through the stuff to make sure that I'm attracting more of the success I'm desiring for me. I love that. When we first decided to do that prompt, it made me think of prioritizing my mindset. It made me think of choosing to do the things that are going to be the best for me or the best for the person that I'm becoming.

[00:12:52] Those things aren't necessarily easy all the time. Those things aren't necessarily within my comfort zone all the time. But if it makes sense and it means pushing forward the person that I'm becoming, if it aligns with her in my evolution, those are the things that come to mind with prioritizing that. Sometimes we want to say no when it really needs to be a yes.

[00:13:19] Because the person who you're becoming would agree to that, would hold her integrity to that, would show up for that, all those things. So it's really interesting to look at it from both parts of that spectrum. There are some things where she just wouldn't do and there are some things where she would feel almost emotionally obligated to do or just make sense for her to do for her own betterment.

[00:13:45] So what's the fine line between who you are today and her and you making the decision or what needs to be done? I think you just said it, the decision. That's the defining line, the decision. Becoming her, as we're becoming anything, it's always a series of decisions. It's a series of steps.

[00:14:05] It's every second, several times during the day, it's always going to be in this scenario, with this thing presented in front of me, with this choice, what am I going to decide that is putting me closer to becoming her? And that's the defining line because when you know better and you still choose to do something that's like of your old self, that's exactly where you're always going to be.

[00:14:28] So that's where you're going to stay, you know, with the point of saying I want and I'm going to and you're already establishing your person as a person who's not. Right. So it's the decision that is a defining line. That's so great. Ouch! I know she hurts my feelings out there, but it's okay. It's okay. You can't say amen, say ouch. Ouch!

[00:14:54] And when we think about becoming, we want to naturally, because we are actionable over here, we want to give you just some steps because maybe your brain is like, okay, I get what they're saying, but not but. How do I just start the process of that, of the becoming? I want to naturally think about, for me, journaling. Asking yourself and write. You'll be surprised what comes out.

[00:15:20] Asking yourself and writing out, like, put the timer on two to three minutes and don't stop writing until the timer goes off and see what comes up on that journal for you as far, that paper for you, sorry, on who you want to become. Right? I think it's that. I think it's prioritizing your mindset. Right? And then when you see what you've written down in your journal of who that is, right? Look at her and ask yourself, well, what would she do? Yeah. What decisions would she make today?

[00:15:50] How would she take care of herself? How would she become more? And naturally, you'll find your next steps in becoming. I think to undergird that would be to start looking at yourself in the mirror and saying some affirmations that correlate to what you were journaling and saying them in the mirror and looking at yourself. Because there's one thing to say. It's another thing to believe it. And when you're believing it, you're naturally starting to become it. Right? So your journal will give you all the success clues.

[00:16:20] Your journal will give you the clues. You pull out the clues. You start reaffirming yourself of the things that you said that you are becoming. And as you're saying it, making sure that you are believing it. And your body will tell you. When you say it, your body will say like, all right, girl. And even when that feeling of that comes in, is that something to talk through with your therapist, your life coach, or someone close that will tell you about yourself? Yes.

[00:16:47] Because in order for you to become anything, you subconsciously and consciously together as a team, you guys need to believe that thing. You have to. Y'all got to believe it. So I would say do those things in that order. I love that you said journaling because you can just get so, so deep with journaling. Yeah.

[00:17:09] Like what I would even advise to do, that line, that defining line, that decision or whatever that separates you that you are now between who you're becoming. Maybe it is a decision, but what if that decision is like hard to transition to it? Like I'm going to do it. I know I need to. But like, it's so uncomfortable. Or like, how do I live by that? And with journaling, I love that you can like plan it out. You can do scripting. You can break it down. Okay.

[00:17:38] She makes these decisions because of this reason. This is how she would go about it. You know, break it absolutely down to that. But the next time you come across a decision similar to that, you don't have any excuses and you have like mentally the steps. Yes, Brie. And I love to add what you were saying about journaling and just to also write it as her. So write it as you are already her and read it back to yourself and see how that feels just to add to some present tense journaling for you as well.

[00:18:07] And then last but not least, take some, what can you commit to every day or what are some small daily actions you can take to becoming her after this? So the journaling, all the things we said about journaling, the affirming, the affirmations, all the things we said about affirmations. And last but not least, the daily actions, the small steps that you can take that will make a big impact as you are on the road to becoming her, whatever that her is for you.

[00:18:32] So we hope this episode was inspiring, enlightening, all of the things for you so that you are steadily understanding that you are becoming. I had something really powerful and it left me. As you are becoming and being great in this world that we call life here. So do us a quick favor. Write us a review. Subscribe to our channel.

[00:18:56] This is how we are able to push our information into a gospel, the business gospel out to all the amazing women out here in the internet so that we can impact more women. Please subscribe. Oh, and don't forget, please do your journal prompts. They are below. And if you are listening, they are in the show notes. Yes. We'll see you next time. How was today's episode for you? We hope you're feeling inspired and ready to take action. Remember, every step forward counts, no matter the size.

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