Ep 308: Lessons Learned feat Talk Sh*t With P Podcast

[00:00:00] Liquor Talk, a brand new episode starts now. Welcome on, welcome everybody to another edition of the Liquor Talk Podcast. I'm your man, Victor. And joining me today is someone that's supposedly supposed to have recorded with us like two years ago. Sorry for the wait. I apologize for the wait. But we are here today. She is the host of the Talk Sht With P Podcast, podcasting out of Atlanta, Georgia, by way of Tanzania.

[00:00:30] It's Paula. How are you doing today, Paula? I'm so good. Thank you for finally. It only took 300 and something episodes to be here, so I'm happy to be here. Yes, yes. It took 12, I know, but hey, we're here. So why don't you tell the people about your podcast?

[00:00:53] All right. So Talk Sht With P is a podcast about creative journeys and mental health struggles. I started my podcast in 2020 because of my depression. And I wanted to create a safe space for people to have those conversations. After two years, we rebranded. Shout out to Travis Brown, who got me into rebranding. And I was like, you know what? I kind of fucking love this podcasting space and doing this shit.

[00:01:19] So I wanted to niche down because mental health is really broad. Like there's so much. And I wanted to concentrate on something that I was doing, which was I was walking into my own creative journey with my podcast and branding and all that.

[00:01:36] So I wanted to talk to people, to talk to people in that space for them to share their journey, hopefully to inspire somebody out there, but also the mental struggles they're battling with while in that creative journey and what's working for them and what's not working for them.

[00:01:53] Yes, I definitely agree. It's like many people, they see us recording right now and they'll see us talking and like nothing's going on, but they don't know the half of it. They don't know the mental struggles. They don't know what the hell we go through on a regular basis. So I applaud you for that, for talking about that because that's important because if people knew half the shit I went through just to give y'all liquor talk, man, people would be falling out. But hey, we are still here.

[00:02:21] We're still pushing. So what was your inspiration for starting Talk Shit With Peace?

[00:02:27] I was depressed as fuck during COVID because of a lot of things. The Black Lives Matter and then like back in my country, my president wasn't doing anything and I have my dad there who also had health issues.

[00:02:42] So I was worried about him. Then everything that was happening with the Asian community, most people either know or don't know, but I lived in Malaysia for five years.

[00:02:52] I have friends who I consider family who are Asian, right?

[00:02:55] So, and I was also going through a breakup. So it was a very fucked up breakup. Like I didn't deal with a breakup because I was busy and avoiding dealing with it. And then when the world shut down, you're not busy. You have to deal with everything that's, that was being pushed back.

[00:03:16] So I ended up writing an email to him. And then I went on Twitter. This was when Twitter was still Twitter. I went on Twitter and started talking shit about the email I wrote to my ex.

[00:03:28] And somebody was like, you know, you should start a podcast. You got so much shit to talk about. I was like, what would we call it? And they're like, talk shit with me? I was like, okay.

[00:03:39] But then once I started thinking about the podcast, I wanted to understand like, okay, I'm going to start a podcast and I'm going to talk shit. But what's my purpose with it? Like, what's my why?

[00:03:52] And that's when it was like, you know what? This whole thing came because of my depression and my, with my breakup, the world and everything. So why not create a safe space and have those conversations?

[00:04:03] So season one to three, I believe it was literally just mostly focused on mental health. I had my dad come in there, speak about being a girl dad. I had my brother who was 14 years clean, talk about his recovery. My sister talk about postpartum depression. My mom talking about being, raising a daughter who is not the daughter she probably wanted because I'm not a girly girl.

[00:04:32] And I didn't go in any route an African daughter should go. And then I have my bonus mom talking about being a bonus mom and getting in a relationship with a man who was teenage kids.

[00:04:47] Because, you know, it's kind of easier when kids are a little bit younger. But when they're teenagers, right? And I wasn't an easy teenager. My brother was not an easy teenager. So it was, it was people, I have a friend in there who recover, beat breast cancer.

[00:05:06] So it was really mostly focused on the mental aspect of it. And then we, we, we, we rebranded and kind of changed. But it was usually me being depressed in a breakup that motivated me to, to get in here.

[00:05:21] And surprisingly, that ex of mine until today still supports. He, he was at Alpha Zen Audio. So it's funny when they share that story and the nigga is still around.

[00:05:35] Shout out to the exes that still support, even though they done broke up. Cheers to that.

[00:05:41] You appreciate it.

[00:05:42] I ain't never heard no shit like that because most of my exes, it's like to hell with you. We done. Like, um, shout out to my exes that listen to Lick Talk. I know they're out there, but I don't give a shit.

[00:05:54] So he doesn't listen to the podcast, but he supports him. Literally is like my sponsor. Like he supports in any conferences I go.

[00:06:02] Last day at Afros was the first time he actually even had me speak because he stayed for the speaking.

[00:06:07] This time he literally did like a U-turn and he drove all the way from Canada. So I do want to say a big shout out to him for being an incredible supporter.

[00:06:17] That's amazing. Like I can't even, he, he a better man than me because I can't even think of an ex I would do that for. I just.

[00:06:25] I even thanked him. I was like, I am glad you haven't removed me from your Netflix and Spotify because I still use his Netflix.

[00:06:32] I still use his Spotify. And right now I'm waiting for him to send me.

[00:06:37] I'm waiting for him to send me his information for Amazon prime because my 30 day trial about to end.

[00:06:43] So he is.

[00:06:45] Oh, you is a savage.

[00:06:48] Y'all need to be like my ex. Okay. Y'all be.

[00:06:51] I need that kind of support from all of y'all. All of y'all do better.

[00:06:55] I literally even wrote one time on Facebook on a status. I was like, I need you to be like my ex. He really hates me so much.

[00:07:03] He really did hate me. I was even shocked he came to Baltimore, to be honest.

[00:07:07] We had a big ass fight in August and we didn't speak until when he came to Baltimore.

[00:07:11] That's when we spoke like that the day before he decided to drive.

[00:07:15] But I even wrote a status and I was like, I need you to be like my ex.

[00:07:20] This nigga hates my guts right now, but he still has me on, hasn't taken me off Netflix and Spotify.

[00:07:30] Yeah, that's an amazing ex because most of my exes, they changed password on me.

[00:07:36] So I'm not even that blessed.

[00:07:38] The love is real. I feel like because he really is my best friend.

[00:07:42] The love is real. We are just very toxic people to each other.

[00:07:46] I don't think we are good to date. I think we are better friends.

[00:07:50] Yeah.

[00:07:51] I don't know.

[00:07:52] And that I understand. And ladies and gentlemen, that's something, that's very possible that

[00:07:55] where you could have ladies that y'all just better as friends than as lovers.

[00:08:00] Like, shout out to all the women I know that are just friends and you know, it is what it is.

[00:08:04] I don't even get mad about it no more. You can't get mad about it.

[00:08:09] Nope.

[00:08:10] It's funny.

[00:08:11] It's funny how now this conversation is about exes.

[00:08:16] Hey, you know what? That's the beautiful thing of my podcast.

[00:08:19] We go with the flow over here. That is what we go with the flow. It ain't scripted.

[00:08:24] We go with the flow. If a good conversation is coming, we gonna roll with it.

[00:08:29] So, hey, we done started off talking about exes.

[00:08:32] And that's what happens when you're talking shit with me.

[00:08:36] Yes.

[00:08:37] Shout out to P. I see you got the Budweiser over there.

[00:08:39] I see. You took one of the questions out my arm.

[00:08:43] Yes.

[00:08:44] Because I was going to ask you what was your favorite kind of looking, but I see you got it already.

[00:08:48] I see that ain't shit changed with you.

[00:08:51] It's funny because I was at FinCon, right?

[00:08:54] And I was working at the PortFest booth.

[00:08:58] And then this guy comes and he's like,

[00:09:02] Paula, where's your beer?

[00:09:03] Where the beer at?

[00:09:05] And then Chris, the owner of PortFest, is like,

[00:09:08] Uh-uh, nobody wears a footballer.

[00:09:10] Not right now, but in a few hours.

[00:09:12] And as soon as we closed the booth, like, the time was out, we went to dinner.

[00:09:18] And the waiter comes and he's looking at me like,

[00:09:22] What do you want to drink?

[00:09:23] Everybody on the table shouted, Budweiser.

[00:09:24] And I was like,

[00:09:28] It's incredible how people know I always am drinking beer and it's Budweiser.

[00:09:33] Like, unless there's no Budweiser.

[00:09:35] But beer is always like,

[00:09:36] The amount of time everybody was asking me this time at the conference,

[00:09:40] Like, where's your beer? Where's your beer?

[00:09:41] And because I was at a financial conference,

[00:09:44] I tried not to be drinking during the day, like, late in the evening.

[00:09:48] But when I'm at PortFest, so I'm constantly in my beer.

[00:09:53] Like, I had,

[00:09:54] When I was shawing while I was getting ready to come to my presentation,

[00:09:57] I was in the shower with my Budweiser.

[00:10:00] And there's something about drinking a beer in the shower, y'all.

[00:10:03] Like, it's the best therapy ever.

[00:10:06] You know,

[00:10:07] You know, I'm kind of kicking myself because

[00:10:09] I had some Jack on, like, Sunday morning of the Amphro's Adios conference.

[00:10:13] Me and my buddy, we had some shots at Jack in the morning.

[00:10:17] And I was feeling good.

[00:10:18] I'm like,

[00:10:18] What the fuck did I do this before I got up on that stage?

[00:10:22] I'm like,

[00:10:22] God damn,

[00:10:23] I would have been watching.

[00:10:25] Why do you think I always have energy at these conferences?

[00:10:28] My border,

[00:10:29] And people are always like,

[00:10:30] When they see me with a border or a coffee,

[00:10:33] They're like,

[00:10:34] Paula, what's in there?

[00:10:35] I'm like,

[00:10:35] Mind your business.

[00:10:37] Don't worry about what's in the car.

[00:10:40] I'm still doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

[00:10:43] If I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing,

[00:10:45] Then worry about what's in the car.

[00:10:47] But I still got on the stage.

[00:10:49] I still kill the shit.

[00:10:50] Like, you know,

[00:10:51] It's all good.

[00:10:52] Yes, yes.

[00:10:53] Speaking of AfroZone,

[00:10:54] You definitely killed your shit.

[00:10:57] You were like the air drizzer bunny.

[00:10:59] Yes.

[00:11:00] Shout out to AfroZone Audios.

[00:11:03] Listen,

[00:11:03] I had fun doing my part.

[00:11:07] And this time it felt better

[00:11:08] Because I had my people in my corner with me.

[00:11:11] I had people that traveled with me.

[00:11:13] They literally came up from Baltimore.

[00:11:16] My best friend,

[00:11:16] Barthas,

[00:11:17] The old lady.

[00:11:17] And they came from Baltimore.

[00:11:19] You see,

[00:11:19] You don't need exes.

[00:11:20] Because you got people pulling out.

[00:11:22] Yes,

[00:11:23] You don't.

[00:11:23] You damn right.

[00:11:24] And also,

[00:11:25] My homeboy,

[00:11:26] He even split the cost of the room with me

[00:11:28] In Baltimore as well.

[00:11:30] So,

[00:11:31] And he,

[00:11:31] But man,

[00:11:32] Listen,

[00:11:33] I will say this.

[00:11:33] The only thing,

[00:11:34] The only thing about Baltimore is,

[00:11:35] What shit do at night?

[00:11:36] Only good bars will buy the damn hotel.

[00:11:39] Bruh.

[00:11:40] Bruh.

[00:11:41] Bruh.

[00:11:43] Apart from the fact that,

[00:11:44] It's illegal,

[00:11:46] It's illegal to smoke outside.

[00:11:48] So,

[00:11:48] I enjoy the fact that we were smoking while walking the streets outside.

[00:11:52] But,

[00:11:53] The nightlife is really fucked up over there.

[00:11:57] Like,

[00:11:57] Yes,

[00:11:57] It is.

[00:11:58] I think,

[00:11:58] I think Afros and Algeas is the only conference I go,

[00:12:01] Where I literally made it to bed before midnight.

[00:12:06] Damn,

[00:12:06] You know what?

[00:12:07] You're right.

[00:12:08] I,

[00:12:08] I,

[00:12:08] I,

[00:12:09] I,

[00:12:09] I,

[00:12:09] I can't even,

[00:12:09] I can't even disagree with that.

[00:12:11] Because,

[00:12:11] The first night we found like two good bars by like the hotel.

[00:12:16] Then the second night,

[00:12:17] It was,

[00:12:18] We found a hookah.

[00:12:19] One hookah lounge was in the hood.

[00:12:21] It's like,

[00:12:21] You know we were fucked up when the hookah lounge is by an abandoned church.

[00:12:25] And you gotta ring the doorbell to get in.

[00:12:28] And we get in,

[00:12:29] There's nobody in there.

[00:12:31] What do you mean?

[00:12:33] It's funny you say that because I saw,

[00:12:36] On the first night after,

[00:12:38] Um,

[00:12:39] The event,

[00:12:40] Right?

[00:12:41] Because I,

[00:12:41] I,

[00:12:41] I came in late.

[00:12:43] I missed my flight.

[00:12:44] So,

[00:12:44] I had to catch another flight and I got in a little bit late.

[00:12:48] So,

[00:12:48] Um,

[00:12:49] They were looking for food.

[00:12:51] We were outside and people were looking for food.

[00:12:53] Next thing,

[00:12:53] I'm just following the crowd,

[00:12:55] Right?

[00:12:55] I'm just like,

[00:12:55] Wherever everybody's going,

[00:12:56] I'm going.

[00:12:57] So,

[00:12:57] It was me,

[00:12:58] Walter,

[00:12:59] And,

[00:12:59] Um,

[00:13:01] Ralph and some other people.

[00:13:03] And we were walking.

[00:13:04] We ended up at this,

[00:13:07] It's supposedly,

[00:13:08] Supposedly to be a restaurant,

[00:13:10] But it looked like a bar.

[00:13:12] Like a very,

[00:13:13] And I hate bars which are very dark inside.

[00:13:16] Like,

[00:13:16] I like to see people these days.

[00:13:18] When I was a kid,

[00:13:19] Yes,

[00:13:19] I wanted to be in the dark.

[00:13:20] Right now,

[00:13:21] I'm too grown to be sitting in the dark and trying to figure out who's who.

[00:13:25] Right.

[00:13:26] And they take us downstairs.

[00:13:29] And downstairs,

[00:13:30] It's like,

[00:13:31] You know when you're kids and one of your friends' grandmother has a basement,

[00:13:35] And you turn the basement into a club with like lights,

[00:13:38] And it's so dark,

[00:13:39] And you're playing music.

[00:13:40] That's how the basement felt.

[00:13:42] Like,

[00:13:42] I was like,

[00:13:43] I looked at Walter,

[00:13:44] I was like,

[00:13:45] Listen,

[00:13:45] Y'all,

[00:13:46] I can't do this.

[00:13:47] The music was too loud and annoying.

[00:13:49] And it looked like I was in her grandma's basement with some disco lights.

[00:13:53] And she,

[00:13:54] I was like,

[00:13:55] I'm leaving.

[00:13:55] So we walked back to the,

[00:13:56] Walter was like,

[00:13:57] Okay,

[00:13:57] I'm also leaving.

[00:13:58] We go back to the hotel and we found Dominic and Lisa and all of them sitting at the lobby watching a game.

[00:14:06] There was a game,

[00:14:07] I believe.

[00:14:08] I think New York was playing.

[00:14:11] I was like,

[00:14:12] Okay,

[00:14:12] At least the hotel has,

[00:14:16] The lobby,

[00:14:17] They're saying beer.

[00:14:18] So I started drinking beer and just chilling.

[00:14:20] And the next thing I was like,

[00:14:21] You know what?

[00:14:22] I actually texted my ex,

[00:14:24] Who was still in Canada,

[00:14:26] Trying to finish work so he can come.

[00:14:27] Because the Uber was so expensive to where I was staying.

[00:14:30] It was like 50 bucks.

[00:14:31] I was like,

[00:14:31] Can you call me a Uber?

[00:14:32] So he called me a Uber and I went back home.

[00:14:36] I couldn't.

[00:14:37] But it's fun.

[00:14:38] But when I'm at other conferences,

[00:14:40] Like podcast movement or podcast,

[00:14:41] I'm literally out until two or three,

[00:14:44] Four a.m.

[00:14:45] Yeah.

[00:14:46] I think because,

[00:14:48] I think they'll do those conferences in nicer cities.

[00:14:52] So,

[00:14:53] Shout out to my people from Afro's and audio.

[00:14:55] If y'all gonna do something,

[00:14:56] I need y'all to do it in D.C.

[00:14:57] Because my best friend,

[00:14:58] He had the rental car.

[00:14:59] I should have told his ass,

[00:15:01] Hey,

[00:15:01] Let's ride it down to D.C.

[00:15:03] Because that's what everybody was telling me.

[00:15:05] Bro,

[00:15:05] You should have just went to D.C.

[00:15:06] Because D.C.

[00:15:07] Was number 30 minutes away.

[00:15:09] Yeah,

[00:15:10] It wasn't.

[00:15:10] Because last year,

[00:15:11] We didn't leave until Monday.

[00:15:14] Because on Sunday after the conference,

[00:15:16] We drove to D.C.

[00:15:19] Because I had to go to the embassy

[00:15:20] And get my new passport.

[00:15:22] And I was like,

[00:15:22] Since I'm already down here,

[00:15:23] Let me just fucking do it.

[00:15:24] I've been,

[00:15:25] I was prolonging doing that shit

[00:15:27] For almost two years.

[00:15:28] So I was like,

[00:15:28] Okay,

[00:15:29] I'm already down here.

[00:15:30] Let me just go do it.

[00:15:31] But it's not that far.

[00:15:32] Because Maryland is literally like,

[00:15:34] State lines are,

[00:15:35] Depending on where you are

[00:15:36] And where they are,

[00:15:37] It's literally 30 minutes to D.C.

[00:15:40] With all doing like,

[00:15:41] So you should have.

[00:15:43] Yeah,

[00:15:43] Well,

[00:15:43] We know for next year,

[00:15:44] In case they decide to do Afro's audio.

[00:15:46] Especially since you had a rental,

[00:15:48] The fuck?

[00:15:50] I didn't know that,

[00:15:52] Listen,

[00:15:52] I didn't know,

[00:15:53] We didn't communicate those things.

[00:15:54] But,

[00:15:55] Listen,

[00:15:55] We know for next year.

[00:15:56] We know for next year.

[00:15:58] I might have to get on this next year.

[00:15:59] I mean,

[00:15:59] But I guess you got to try Baltimore,

[00:16:01] Because you assume that you'll find something to do.

[00:16:04] So that's why you don't kind of plan to go to Baltimore,

[00:16:07] Because you just assume you'll find some shit to do,

[00:16:09] Right?

[00:16:10] Yeah,

[00:16:12] I know one thing,

[00:16:13] If I go back to Baltimore,

[00:16:14] If we do go back to Baltimore,

[00:16:15] We'll just go to the bars,

[00:16:16] Because I found like two really good bars,

[00:16:18] By the hotel,

[00:16:19] But,

[00:16:19] Yeah,

[00:16:20] There was one,

[00:16:21] The one that had the neon lights,

[00:16:23] That say,

[00:16:24] Find your balls,

[00:16:25] Or hold your balls,

[00:16:26] Or grab your balls,

[00:16:27] Something,

[00:16:28] Which was kind of like,

[00:16:29] I guess,

[00:16:30] Which hotel were you guys staying at?

[00:16:32] We were at the True by Hilton.

[00:16:34] Yeah,

[00:16:34] Literally,

[00:16:35] The next door one,

[00:16:36] Just,

[00:16:38] I think they were even sharing a wall,

[00:16:40] Because after Sunday,

[00:16:41] That's where everybody left,

[00:16:44] And everybody was in there,

[00:16:46] Like some people were hanging out in there,

[00:16:48] But yeah,

[00:16:49] That was a cool bar,

[00:16:50] It had like games,

[00:16:51] It had some good food,

[00:16:53] And,

[00:16:53] But I don't know how late it closed,

[00:16:55] Because we went in the afternoon,

[00:16:57] But yeah.

[00:16:57] Yeah,

[00:16:57] I think we went to that bar,

[00:16:59] I hung out with the crew from Detroit,

[00:17:01] They were like,

[00:17:02] Hey,

[00:17:02] We're going to this bar,

[00:17:02] I was like,

[00:17:03] Yeah,

[00:17:04] Because it was a birthday,

[00:17:05] One of the guys,

[00:17:06] It was a birthday,

[00:17:07] The podcasting,

[00:17:09] Is it podcasting?

[00:17:10] Podcasting,

[00:17:11] I think it is,

[00:17:11] Yeah.

[00:17:13] Yeah.

[00:17:13] Yeah,

[00:17:14] But shout out to podcasting as well,

[00:17:16] Because I hung out with them Friday night,

[00:17:17] At that same bar,

[00:17:18] And we all chilled and stuff,

[00:17:20] So,

[00:17:21] But ladies,

[00:17:21] That team is dope,

[00:17:22] That entire team is dope.

[00:17:24] Yes,

[00:17:25] Yeah,

[00:17:25] I told that team,

[00:17:26] I might have to come up to Detroit,

[00:17:27] When it's not cold,

[00:17:28] That is,

[00:17:29] Because,

[00:17:29] I'm a Florida man,

[00:17:30] And I like the warm weather,

[00:17:32] So,

[00:17:32] I'm not trying to go,

[00:17:33] When it's cold as hell,

[00:17:35] I got off,

[00:17:37] You're located in Florida?

[00:17:39] Yeah,

[00:17:39] I'm located in Florida.

[00:17:41] Yeah,

[00:17:41] And where in Florida?

[00:17:43] Uh,

[00:17:43] Tampa.

[00:17:45] How the fuck did you know this?

[00:17:47] Yeah,

[00:17:48] The same way I didn't,

[00:17:49] The same way I didn't know you were located in Atlanta,

[00:17:51] Atlanta.

[00:17:52] No,

[00:17:53] Because,

[00:17:54] You know,

[00:17:55] Anytime I hear somebody's in Florida,

[00:17:57] I try to make sure they come to Potfest,

[00:17:59] Because you're already in Florida,

[00:18:00] You don't need to really travel much.

[00:18:03] So,

[00:18:03] I'm like,

[00:18:03] How the fuck did I not know this?

[00:18:05] See,

[00:18:06] I'm not gonna lie to you,

[00:18:07] Potfest would be expensive as fuck,

[00:18:09] I'm not even gonna lie to you,

[00:18:10] So,

[00:18:11] I'ma try to work something out,

[00:18:12] Make some shit happen,

[00:18:13] To be at Potfest,

[00:18:15] Because,

[00:18:15] You need to talk to the right people,

[00:18:17] You are,

[00:18:17] You are,

[00:18:18] You literally have the connections,

[00:18:19] You're not using them.

[00:18:21] Well,

[00:18:22] We're gonna have to connect on that shit.

[00:18:24] Potfest 2025,

[00:18:25] Y'all gonna see me,

[00:18:26] Because,

[00:18:27] Also,

[00:18:28] We need to be at more podcast conferences,

[00:18:30] Because,

[00:18:30] Afros and audios was lit,

[00:18:32] And I need to be at more,

[00:18:33] Because,

[00:18:34] What usually happens is,

[00:18:36] Half my guests come on from,

[00:18:39] Afros and audios,

[00:18:40] Like this year,

[00:18:40] So,

[00:18:42] Wait,

[00:18:42] Have you ever been to,

[00:18:43] Podcast movement?

[00:18:46] It's going to go,

[00:18:47] But some shit came up,

[00:18:49] So,

[00:18:49] I didn't go.

[00:18:50] Next year,

[00:18:51] They're doing it in Dallas,

[00:18:53] In August,

[00:18:54] Literally,

[00:18:55] Right now,

[00:18:55] They have a code,

[00:18:59] Which expires on October 31st,

[00:19:02] Which you can get a creator pass for $9,

[00:19:06] So,

[00:19:07] Even if you're not sure,

[00:19:08] If you wanna go,

[00:19:09] Buying a ticket for $9,

[00:19:10] It's really not,

[00:19:11] You know,

[00:19:12] It's $9.

[00:19:12] Send me the link though,

[00:19:13] Hey,

[00:19:13] Just send me the link,

[00:19:14] And I'll go ahead and get done,

[00:19:15] But ladies and gentlemen,

[00:19:17] This is,

[00:19:17] Look or talk,

[00:19:18] The more you drink,

[00:19:18] The better we sound,

[00:19:19] Paula,

[00:19:20] You know this is Halloween week,

[00:19:22] And you know everybody's coming out,

[00:19:24] With their costumes,

[00:19:26] And,

[00:19:26] Everybody's about,

[00:19:27] Get ready,

[00:19:27] Give some candy,

[00:19:28] So,

[00:19:29] What is your craziest Halloween story?

[00:19:34] I don't,

[00:19:35] I do have,

[00:19:36] I find it very weird,

[00:19:38] I don't think I've actually ever,

[00:19:40] Oh,

[00:19:41] I do have one,

[00:19:42] Okay,

[00:19:44] So,

[00:19:45] I think this was the,

[00:19:46] Probably the only time,

[00:19:48] I really,

[00:19:49] Really celebrated Halloween,

[00:19:52] And,

[00:19:53] When I,

[00:19:55] Two,

[00:19:55] Three years ago,

[00:19:56] No,

[00:19:57] Not two,

[00:19:58] Three years ago,

[00:20:00] I think this was in,

[00:20:01] 26,

[00:20:04] 16,

[00:20:05] If I'm not mistaken,

[00:20:08] And,

[00:20:09] Um,

[00:20:11] I had just moved,

[00:20:12] So I used to live in this,

[00:20:15] Apartment complex,

[00:20:17] And I moved,

[00:20:18] From one,

[00:20:19] Apartment to another,

[00:20:20] In the same complex,

[00:20:22] Because there were,

[00:20:24] There were newly renovated,

[00:20:25] Apartments,

[00:20:26] And I was trying to get out,

[00:20:27] But I couldn't find any other one,

[00:20:29] And they were like,

[00:20:29] Let's show you,

[00:20:30] Our newly renovated,

[00:20:32] So I moved from one side to another,

[00:20:33] And I ended up,

[00:20:35] With these two neighbors,

[00:20:36] One of them,

[00:20:37] Shout out to Maury,

[00:20:37] She's still my,

[00:20:38] Best friend until today,

[00:20:39] Every time I come to,

[00:20:40] She moved back to,

[00:20:42] Uh,

[00:20:43] Florida,

[00:20:43] So every time I come,

[00:20:44] To Portfist,

[00:20:45] I make sure I have one day,

[00:20:47] To spend with her,

[00:20:49] But,

[00:20:49] Um,

[00:20:49] So we ended up being neighbors,

[00:20:50] That we shared the,

[00:20:53] Uh,

[00:20:54] The balcony on the back,

[00:20:55] Um,

[00:20:56] She had a girlfriend with her,

[00:20:58] The girlfriend drank,

[00:20:59] But didn't smoke,

[00:21:00] Molly smoked,

[00:21:01] But didn't drink,

[00:21:02] So I had like,

[00:21:03] Two best ones,

[00:21:04] Right?

[00:21:05] And they had,

[00:21:06] Three dogs,

[00:21:07] Which,

[00:21:08] I like dogs,

[00:21:10] But I cannot afford one,

[00:21:12] Because dogs are even more expensive,

[00:21:13] Than kids,

[00:21:14] I'm sorry,

[00:21:14] So,

[00:21:14] I date people with dogs,

[00:21:16] Just so I can have a dog,

[00:21:18] Without the responsibility,

[00:21:19] Of having a dog,

[00:21:20] Or I,

[00:21:21] Yeah,

[00:21:21] I still,

[00:21:22] I,

[00:21:22] I hang out with people,

[00:21:23] Who have dogs,

[00:21:24] So we decided,

[00:21:27] We were gonna do what?

[00:21:29] Dress up,

[00:21:30] Sit outside,

[00:21:31] We decorated,

[00:21:33] Together,

[00:21:34] And everything,

[00:21:35] Sit outside,

[00:21:36] And,

[00:21:37] Wait for the kids,

[00:21:39] To come trick-or-treating,

[00:21:40] And give out candies,

[00:21:42] While we are smoking our,

[00:21:43] Uh,

[00:21:45] Blunts and shit,

[00:21:46] But what we didn't know was,

[00:21:49] The apartment complex,

[00:21:50] Wasn't doing,

[00:21:51] Trick-or-treating,

[00:21:53] On the day of Halloween,

[00:21:54] And they did it the night before,

[00:21:55] But none of us were there,

[00:21:57] So literally,

[00:21:58] We just sat outside,

[00:21:59] With balls of candy,

[00:22:00] And nobody showed up,

[00:22:01] Nobody,

[00:22:02] Nobody at all,

[00:22:04] Damn,

[00:22:05] Damn,

[00:22:06] That's crazy,

[00:22:06] And we were left with all that candy,

[00:22:08] And we didn't even buy the good candy,

[00:22:10] Cause,

[00:22:11] Fuck the kids and the candy bags,

[00:22:13] So now you're left,

[00:22:16] Damn,

[00:22:16] She said,

[00:22:17] Fuck the kids,

[00:22:18] Y'all getting these cheap candy,

[00:22:20] Oh,

[00:22:21] But then,

[00:22:22] It's like the kids said,

[00:22:23] Fuck y'all,

[00:22:24] Cause now we ended up,

[00:22:25] With this candy,

[00:22:26] That we didn't even fucking like,

[00:22:30] So yeah,

[00:22:31] Damn,

[00:22:31] It was a big L,

[00:22:32] It was a big L,

[00:22:34] Man,

[00:22:34] Listen,

[00:22:35] Man,

[00:22:35] I think the last time,

[00:22:37] I celebrated Halloween,

[00:22:38] I was in college,

[00:22:39] I had just gone from work,

[00:22:40] My homeboys,

[00:22:41] Like,

[00:22:41] Hey,

[00:22:41] Let's have this party,

[00:22:43] And they were like,

[00:22:43] I ain't talking about,

[00:22:44] I told them shit,

[00:22:44] I didn't have a costume,

[00:22:45] They were like,

[00:22:46] You good,

[00:22:46] You good,

[00:22:47] The chick,

[00:22:48] The little chick at the door,

[00:22:49] She was like,

[00:22:49] You gonna have to strip naked,

[00:22:50] You gonna have to strip naked,

[00:22:52] Get to the door,

[00:22:53] They're like,

[00:22:54] No,

[00:22:54] It didn't happen,

[00:22:56] It didn't happen,

[00:22:56] They were like,

[00:22:57] We just fucking with you,

[00:22:58] But here's a mask though,

[00:23:00] You know,

[00:23:01] And drinks with us,

[00:23:01] We just fucking with you,

[00:23:03] I'm like,

[00:23:03] Oh hell,

[00:23:04] You motherfuckers,

[00:23:05] And I didn't,

[00:23:07] And I didn't know,

[00:23:09] That some of you,

[00:23:09] Adults celebrate Halloween,

[00:23:10] Even go,

[00:23:11] Dress up in the Halloween parties,

[00:23:13] And stuff,

[00:23:13] I didn't know that,

[00:23:14] People do effort,

[00:23:15] Like,

[00:23:16] I'm literally seeing right now,

[00:23:17] On Facebook timelines,

[00:23:18] Cause,

[00:23:19] You would think,

[00:23:20] Right,

[00:23:21] It's funny how this weekend,

[00:23:22] I've seen more Halloween,

[00:23:24] And I'm like,

[00:23:25] Is Halloween this weekend,

[00:23:26] But isn't Halloween,

[00:23:27] Next weekend,

[00:23:28] Like the end of the,

[00:23:29] When is fucking Halloween even?

[00:23:31] Halloween is on Thursday,

[00:23:33] Yeah,

[00:23:34] But why are people going so hard,

[00:23:36] This weekend bro,

[00:23:37] I'm like,

[00:23:38] I'm looking even,

[00:23:39] Um,

[00:23:40] I would say,

[00:23:41] Maybe because people have to work,

[00:23:42] On Thursday,

[00:23:43] People,

[00:23:43] You know,

[00:23:43] People still have jobs,

[00:23:45] And,

[00:23:45] And they probably just want to hang out,

[00:23:47] And go hard for Halloween,

[00:23:48] This weekend,

[00:23:49] Excuse me,

[00:23:50] Yesterday,

[00:23:50] I actually have a video,

[00:23:51] Post it,

[00:23:52] And I'll tag you,

[00:23:53] Uh,

[00:23:54] We were walking,

[00:23:55] So,

[00:23:56] The FinCon,

[00:23:57] Uh,

[00:23:58] Conference was happening,

[00:23:59] In downtown Atlanta,

[00:24:01] If you're from Atlanta,

[00:24:02] You've been to Atlanta,

[00:24:03] You know,

[00:24:04] People don't even fucking go to,

[00:24:05] Downtown,

[00:24:06] Like it's literally,

[00:24:09] Stinks,

[00:24:10] Um,

[00:24:12] It,

[00:24:12] It stinks,

[00:24:13] Like,

[00:24:13] The only time I go to downtown,

[00:24:15] Is,

[00:24:15] When friends or family come,

[00:24:17] Because everything is downtown,

[00:24:18] CNN,

[00:24:19] Aquarium,

[00:24:21] Uh,

[00:24:21] Well,

[00:24:21] CNN is no longer here,

[00:24:23] But,

[00:24:24] The music,

[00:24:25] Everything is literally downtown,

[00:24:26] Hawks,

[00:24:27] Game,

[00:24:27] Um,

[00:24:28] Mercedes Stadium,

[00:24:29] Like they are all literally downtown,

[00:24:30] So,

[00:24:31] So,

[00:24:31] We were walking to the corner liquor store,

[00:24:33] Because I didn't want to go in there by myself,

[00:24:35] And there's a lot of homeless people in downtown,

[00:24:37] So,

[00:24:37] All the niggerish nigger,

[00:24:39] Like it's like,

[00:24:40] You know,

[00:24:40] Those people chilling at the corner store,

[00:24:42] And shit,

[00:24:42] I was like,

[00:24:43] I don't want to walk out,

[00:24:44] And so,

[00:24:45] And imagine,

[00:24:45] I'm a black ass chick,

[00:24:47] Short and tiny,

[00:24:49] And then I'm,

[00:24:50] Rolling with these,

[00:24:51] Two white dudes,

[00:24:52] Who are like,

[00:24:53] Tall and shit,

[00:24:53] And it's like,

[00:24:54] So weird,

[00:24:54] But,

[00:24:55] I think,

[00:24:55] They saw that there's a conference happening,

[00:24:58] Because there's so many people,

[00:24:59] So,

[00:25:00] Um,

[00:25:01] We are going to the liquor store to get bad guys,

[00:25:03] Because,

[00:25:04] The hotel is selling beer for $8,

[00:25:06] Or $10,

[00:25:07] Fuck y'all,

[00:25:08] I can get three beers,

[00:25:09] Oh,

[00:25:09] That hotel's state taxing,

[00:25:10] Man,

[00:25:11] Just like the damn airport,

[00:25:12] So you know,

[00:25:13] A bottle of water is like $5,

[00:25:15] At the goddamn airport,

[00:25:16] That's why you drink beer,

[00:25:17] Why would I buy water for $5,

[00:25:19] When I can get a fucking beer for $6,

[00:25:22] Like,

[00:25:22] Fuck that shit,

[00:25:23] Like,

[00:25:23] I don't get it,

[00:25:28] So we,

[00:25:28] We are walking,

[00:25:30] And literally,

[00:25:31] This guy is wearing,

[00:25:33] He was in his Halloween costume,

[00:25:34] And he even came to that,

[00:25:36] We were wondering if he's,

[00:25:37] Is he part of the conference or not,

[00:25:39] Then we saw him at the after party,

[00:25:41] At the rap party,

[00:25:43] The rap party for the conference,

[00:25:45] He came,

[00:25:46] He was wearing,

[00:25:47] The top of his head was like the,

[00:25:49] You know when you're crossing the road,

[00:25:51] And there's that walking,

[00:25:53] That when you press the button for stop,

[00:25:55] Walk,

[00:25:56] Yeah,

[00:25:56] Whatever,

[00:25:57] He's wearing that,

[00:25:58] Then over here he has,

[00:25:59] Press the button,

[00:26:00] And when you press the button,

[00:26:02] It literally says,

[00:26:04] You can walk now,

[00:26:06] I don't know,

[00:26:06] Three minutes left,

[00:26:07] And it doesn't count,

[00:26:08] And I was like,

[00:26:08] The fuck,

[00:26:09] And it's a grown-ups man,

[00:26:10] I was like,

[00:26:12] Did you build this?

[00:26:13] Did you buy it?

[00:26:14] How did you even research this?

[00:26:16] Like,

[00:26:16] The thought people put in this shit,

[00:26:18] It's amazing,

[00:26:20] You would think Halloween is supposed to be for kids,

[00:26:22] But grown-ups really go all the way out,

[00:26:25] I'm like,

[00:26:25] Y'all are better than me,

[00:26:26] I be switching off my lights,

[00:26:28] And pretending I'm not alone,

[00:26:29] Cause fuck it,

[00:26:31] Man,

[00:26:31] That's what,

[00:26:32] That's what my mama did growing up,

[00:26:33] That's what everybody I know did growing up,

[00:26:36] There's motherfuckers today,

[00:26:37] But they don't give a shit,

[00:26:38] I've seen some people in neighborhoods,

[00:26:40] They be having,

[00:26:41] Um,

[00:26:42] Candy,

[00:26:42] A big ass bowl of candy,

[00:26:44] And some jello shots for the adults,

[00:26:46] And stuff,

[00:26:46] I'm like,

[00:26:47] Those are the streets,

[00:26:48] Those are the streets I wanna go,

[00:26:50] Cause I've been hearing about people giving out jello shots,

[00:26:53] So some people are giving out,

[00:26:54] Those mini whiskeys,

[00:26:55] For their parents who walk with kids,

[00:26:57] I,

[00:26:57] I,

[00:26:58] I,

[00:26:58] I steal somebody's kid,

[00:26:59] And walk with them on the street,

[00:27:01] To get those liquor bottles,

[00:27:02] I was literally thinking the same thing,

[00:27:04] Cause I'm like,

[00:27:05] I've got plenty of friends with kids,

[00:27:07] I ain't dressing up with no candy,

[00:27:08] But for liquor bottles and shit,

[00:27:10] I'll dress up with that,

[00:27:11] You know,

[00:27:11] Let's make it happen,

[00:27:13] Some liquor goddamn,

[00:27:14] I got these little motherfuckers,

[00:27:15] Give me these little motherfuckers some candy,

[00:27:17] Give me some liquor,

[00:27:18] God damn it,

[00:27:18] And I,

[00:27:19] Exactly,

[00:27:20] And I got,

[00:27:21] I think the reason I stopped celebrating Halloween is,

[00:27:24] The one time I got excited to celebrate Halloween,

[00:27:27] I ended up getting in trouble,

[00:27:28] Because I ended up making out with somebody,

[00:27:31] Who was dressed like my boyfriend,

[00:27:32] But it really wasn't my boyfriend,

[00:27:34] And I got in trouble,

[00:27:35] I'm like,

[00:27:36] I'm sorry,

[00:27:36] Who told you to dress with the same costume,

[00:27:38] And,

[00:27:38] It kinda,

[00:27:40] It became a big fight for a while,

[00:27:41] Cause nigga,

[00:27:42] Nigga felt some type of shit,

[00:27:44] And it turned out to be a,

[00:27:46] The guy who ended up making our way,

[00:27:48] Turned up to be a guy,

[00:27:49] Who was trying to get with me,

[00:27:51] But,

[00:27:51] I didn't know,

[00:27:52] I didn't know,

[00:27:53] I did not know,

[00:27:54] I stand by that,

[00:27:56] I am gonna stand by that,

[00:27:58] And I was like,

[00:27:58] Fuck this costume party's and shit,

[00:28:01] Damn,

[00:28:02] Were you drunk?

[00:28:06] I wasn't drunk,

[00:28:07] But I was high,

[00:28:09] At that time,

[00:28:10] I used to take ecstasy,

[00:28:12] Ooh,

[00:28:15] So I was really,

[00:28:16] Back in the days,

[00:28:17] I was really a,

[00:28:18] A rave a girl,

[00:28:20] Like,

[00:28:20] I used to love going to raves,

[00:28:22] And taking ecstasy,

[00:28:24] And house music,

[00:28:25] And shit,

[00:28:26] Like,

[00:28:26] I mean,

[00:28:26] Not really house music,

[00:28:27] Techno,

[00:28:29] Like,

[00:28:29] Avicii was my shit,

[00:28:31] And all that,

[00:28:31] So,

[00:28:32] I was always like,

[00:28:33] I feel like maybe,

[00:28:35] Those ecstasies are still kind of in my body,

[00:28:37] Maybe that's why I still have this energy these days,

[00:28:40] At certain points,

[00:28:41] I don't know,

[00:28:42] But I don't take,

[00:28:43] I haven't taken ecstasy in like,

[00:28:45] Forever,

[00:28:46] I think since I left Malaysia,

[00:28:47] I don't think I've ever had ecstasy,

[00:28:50] Since I left Malaysia,

[00:28:52] Well,

[00:28:52] You took ecstasy,

[00:28:53] And you live to tell about it,

[00:28:55] Wow,

[00:28:56] That's amazing,

[00:28:57] Yeah,

[00:28:58] I was,

[00:28:59] Ecstasy was my drug,

[00:29:00] Before I started smoking weed,

[00:29:04] Wow,

[00:29:05] You got,

[00:29:05] You are just full of stories,

[00:29:07] I love it,

[00:29:08] Ladies and gentlemen,

[00:29:09] This is,

[00:29:10] Look at talk,

[00:29:10] The more you drink,

[00:29:11] The better we sound,

[00:29:12] Alright,

[00:29:13] Now the last time we talked,

[00:29:15] Which was Instagram live,

[00:29:16] Like two years ago,

[00:29:18] And you told a very interesting story about love,

[00:29:21] And I'm like,

[00:29:22] I didn't ever talk shit about the things I've done for love,

[00:29:25] And I've been screwed over,

[00:29:26] Because,

[00:29:26] You got me beat by miles,

[00:29:31] Like,

[00:29:32] You left,

[00:29:33] I was,

[00:29:33] I was talking about me getting flown out,

[00:29:36] Is that the story,

[00:29:37] Or what story are we talking about?

[00:29:38] I think it's the story you told me,

[00:29:40] How you first left your home country for love,

[00:29:43] Oh shit,

[00:29:45] Remember this one?

[00:29:46] It wasn't,

[00:29:46] It wasn't my home country,

[00:29:49] But I left UK to go to Malaysia,

[00:29:51] And it's funny,

[00:29:52] Because this came up,

[00:29:53] It's funny how you bring that up,

[00:29:55] Because it recently came up,

[00:29:57] Um,

[00:29:59] I don't know how the conversation was happening,

[00:30:01] And then that came up,

[00:30:02] But continue with where you were going with this,

[00:30:05] Yeah,

[00:30:05] Because,

[00:30:05] I think it was a live segment,

[00:30:07] We were just talking about the things we've done for love,

[00:30:09] And came up with nothing,

[00:30:11] And we just,

[00:30:11] Had nothing to show for it,

[00:30:13] And you chimed in with something to imagine,

[00:30:16] Leaving a country for love,

[00:30:18] Then,

[00:30:18] Then we brought you up,

[00:30:19] And well,

[00:30:20] You told the story,

[00:30:21] So,

[00:30:21] For those of you who wasn't listening to that story,

[00:30:24] Please Paula,

[00:30:25] Tell us how the hell you left,

[00:30:27] Another country for love,

[00:30:30] And it's funny,

[00:30:31] Believe it or not,

[00:30:33] He wasn't even my boyfriend,

[00:30:34] That guy,

[00:30:35] Right?

[00:30:37] He was,

[00:30:39] My childhood friend,

[00:30:41] Very good best friend,

[00:30:42] Um,

[00:30:43] Who,

[00:30:44] And we were kids,

[00:30:45] So,

[00:30:46] We hadn't had sex,

[00:30:49] But we had done a few stuff,

[00:30:52] And,

[00:30:52] Um,

[00:30:58] Our,

[00:30:58] Our,

[00:30:59] Our timeline was never on the,

[00:31:02] On the same point,

[00:31:03] Right?

[00:31:03] Because I,

[00:31:04] I was never,

[00:31:05] Whenever I was,

[00:31:06] I was in boarding school,

[00:31:08] And when I was single,

[00:31:09] He was dating somebody,

[00:31:10] When he was single,

[00:31:12] I was dating somebody,

[00:31:13] So there was never,

[00:31:15] That,

[00:31:15] You know?

[00:31:16] So eventually,

[00:31:17] He became single,

[00:31:18] But,

[00:31:19] Nigga decided to go study in Malaysia,

[00:31:22] So,

[00:31:23] Um,

[00:31:24] At that time,

[00:31:24] I was on my,

[00:31:26] I had taken a one year gap,

[00:31:28] Because,

[00:31:29] I didn't like law school,

[00:31:30] As much as I thought I would,

[00:31:32] And I wasn't sure,

[00:31:33] What I wanted to study next,

[00:31:35] And,

[00:31:35] So I,

[00:31:36] I took a,

[00:31:37] A gap year,

[00:31:38] And then when I saw he went to Malaysia,

[00:31:40] So,

[00:31:41] When I took a gap year,

[00:31:42] My dad told me,

[00:31:43] As long as,

[00:31:43] By this date,

[00:31:45] This is your deadline,

[00:31:46] I need you to come back,

[00:31:47] And tell me what you want to study,

[00:31:48] Where you want to study,

[00:31:50] I need you to have a game plan,

[00:31:51] But,

[00:31:51] By this date,

[00:31:52] That was the condition for me,

[00:31:54] For him allowing me to have the,

[00:31:56] Uh,

[00:31:57] The gap year,

[00:31:58] So I was like,

[00:31:59] Cool.

[00:31:59] So when I said he was going to Malaysia,

[00:32:01] And he was single,

[00:32:02] I was like,

[00:32:02] This is our time.

[00:32:04] So I,

[00:32:05] But my,

[00:32:05] I didn't want to tell my dad Malaysia,

[00:32:08] Because I knew he would say no.

[00:32:10] So,

[00:32:11] Um,

[00:32:11] I talked to him,

[00:32:12] And I was like,

[00:32:13] What if I come to Malaysia,

[00:32:14] Can we give it a try?

[00:32:15] I was like,

[00:32:15] Yeah,

[00:32:16] Come.

[00:32:16] Because we,

[00:32:17] We were talking almost every fucking day,

[00:32:21] I was spending too much money on calling cards,

[00:32:24] Back in the days,

[00:32:25] I was calling from Malaysia,

[00:32:26] To another country,

[00:32:28] You needed a calling card,

[00:32:29] And shit,

[00:32:29] I was in UK at that time.

[00:32:31] So,

[00:32:32] I,

[00:32:33] I reached out to my dad,

[00:32:34] And I was like,

[00:32:35] I'm ready to go back to school,

[00:32:37] I know where I want to go,

[00:32:38] And I know what I want to study.

[00:32:40] And my dad jumped on a call with me,

[00:32:42] And I was like,

[00:32:43] I want to go to Australia,

[00:32:44] Because I knew he would say no,

[00:32:45] Australia is still them far,

[00:32:46] And we don't know anybody there.

[00:32:49] So,

[00:32:49] Damn,

[00:32:50] Australia?

[00:32:51] Wow.

[00:32:51] Bro,

[00:32:53] So,

[00:32:53] You know,

[00:32:54] My,

[00:32:55] I have,

[00:32:55] And my dad knew this,

[00:32:57] And a lot of people hated it.

[00:32:59] Are you,

[00:33:00] Growing up,

[00:33:00] I used to be a very good liar.

[00:33:02] These days I don't lie,

[00:33:03] I'm a person who really tells you what it is,

[00:33:05] And I,

[00:33:05] But I was a very good liar,

[00:33:07] And I used to like drag you,

[00:33:08] That's why most people thought I'd be,

[00:33:10] A very good lawyer.

[00:33:11] But also,

[00:33:12] I read people,

[00:33:14] And I know how to play people.

[00:33:16] And not like,

[00:33:17] Play them,

[00:33:18] Like,

[00:33:18] But I know how to get what I want from somebody,

[00:33:21] Without them thinking,

[00:33:23] Without them knowing that,

[00:33:24] I kind of play them to get it.

[00:33:26] They just end up thinking that,

[00:33:27] It was their idea,

[00:33:29] But I kind of did,

[00:33:30] Now I'm giving out all my secrets.

[00:33:32] But anyways,

[00:33:34] So,

[00:33:34] I knew playing my dad like that,

[00:33:36] Would work in my favor,

[00:33:37] For me to go to Malaysia.

[00:33:39] So,

[00:33:39] I was like,

[00:33:39] Fuck no,

[00:33:40] I'm not sending you to Australia.

[00:33:41] I was like,

[00:33:42] Well,

[00:33:43] Malaysia is cheaper,

[00:33:44] This university has the same cost,

[00:33:46] Like this university,

[00:33:48] And it's way cheaper,

[00:33:50] It's not that far,

[00:33:50] I was like,

[00:33:51] You know what?

[00:33:52] At that time,

[00:33:53] My uncle had just been appointed,

[00:33:55] As the ambassador in Malaysia,

[00:33:57] I was like,

[00:33:57] Since Cisco is there,

[00:33:59] We can do Malaysia.

[00:34:01] So,

[00:34:01] From that,

[00:34:04] Literally,

[00:34:05] In a month,

[00:34:06] I left UK,

[00:34:08] My dad was like,

[00:34:08] Okay,

[00:34:09] Pack your shit,

[00:34:09] You're leaving UK.

[00:34:10] In a month,

[00:34:11] We popped up and shit,

[00:34:13] Even,

[00:34:14] I'm a shoeholic,

[00:34:15] So,

[00:34:15] He even was like,

[00:34:16] Do you want me to come,

[00:34:17] And help you pack your shoes?

[00:34:18] I was like,

[00:34:18] Fuck no,

[00:34:19] It's good,

[00:34:19] I got this.

[00:34:20] We packed,

[00:34:21] I was home,

[00:34:22] I went back home to Tanzania,

[00:34:24] I hadn't been in Tanzania,

[00:34:25] For five years.

[00:34:26] I arrived on Saturday,

[00:34:28] Next Saturday,

[00:34:29] Me and my dad got on a flight,

[00:34:31] We went to Malaysia,

[00:34:32] He took me to the school,

[00:34:33] Paid for a whole one year,

[00:34:35] Got me,

[00:34:36] Settled,

[00:34:38] And as soon as he left,

[00:34:39] Because,

[00:34:40] I went to a school in the city,

[00:34:42] And this boy was,

[00:34:43] Staying in a school,

[00:34:44] 45 minutes away.

[00:34:45] As soon as my dad got on the plane,

[00:34:48] I was on the train,

[00:34:49] Going to that nigga,

[00:34:50] We finally had sex,

[00:34:52] We tried it,

[00:34:53] But,

[00:34:54] It really didn't,

[00:34:54] We literally broke up,

[00:34:55] Like,

[00:34:56] We didn't even end up dating,

[00:34:58] We tried,

[00:34:58] By one month,

[00:34:59] It didn't work out,

[00:35:00] And we,

[00:35:03] Damn,

[00:35:04] But yeah,

[00:35:05] Broke up after a month?

[00:35:07] After you did all that?

[00:35:08] You guys broke up after a month?

[00:35:10] But here's the thing,

[00:35:12] And he's still my very good friend,

[00:35:14] He still gets shocked that,

[00:35:16] His birthday is on the 3rd of June,

[00:35:20] He gets shocked that,

[00:35:21] I'm still the first person,

[00:35:22] Who messages him on his birthday,

[00:35:24] Literally at midnight,

[00:35:25] Every 3rd of June,

[00:35:26] He's married now,

[00:35:27] He's married now,

[00:35:27] With two kids,

[00:35:28] And he married his high school student,

[00:35:30] Like,

[00:35:30] At that time,

[00:35:31] They were off,

[00:35:32] They were going through their thing,

[00:35:33] And then,

[00:35:34] When we didn't work,

[00:35:36] He ended up connecting with them,

[00:35:37] But what I will say is,

[00:35:39] I don't regret it,

[00:35:40] Because,

[00:35:40] I ended up getting so much experience in Malaysia,

[00:35:43] So I'm glad I chose Malaysia,

[00:35:45] Like,

[00:35:45] You know,

[00:35:45] It might have been that I went for him,

[00:35:48] But maybe it was also what I needed,

[00:35:50] For me,

[00:35:52] But also,

[00:35:53] At least I can say we tried,

[00:35:54] Compared to just living around,

[00:35:56] Knowing like,

[00:35:56] We never even tried,

[00:35:58] Like,

[00:35:58] What could have been?

[00:36:00] I hate living in regrets,

[00:36:02] Like,

[00:36:02] I'm a person who,

[00:36:03] I even have,

[00:36:06] One of my March,

[00:36:08] Actually,

[00:36:09] Where the fuck is that?

[00:36:10] I realize I haven't seen that mug in a while,

[00:36:12] Maybe somebody stole it,

[00:36:14] But I have a mug,

[00:36:15] And I have,

[00:36:16] Part of my merchandise,

[00:36:18] Where it's a,

[00:36:19] A meson cup,

[00:36:20] And it has,

[00:36:22] Those,

[00:36:24] Illustrate drawings,

[00:36:25] Shout out to my illustrator,

[00:36:26] Gaila,

[00:36:27] Amazing illustrator,

[00:36:28] He also created my logo,

[00:36:30] So,

[00:36:31] On my 32nd birthday,

[00:36:33] Created a,

[00:36:35] Illustrate video,

[00:36:36] Of me jumping off the plane,

[00:36:37] And the plane had 31,

[00:36:38] And then I was jumping off to 32,

[00:36:41] And then when the,

[00:36:42] When the parachute opened up,

[00:36:44] It said,

[00:36:45] She will pee,

[00:36:46] And then,

[00:36:47] I,

[00:36:47] I had the middle finger,

[00:36:49] So we kind of,

[00:36:51] Cropped that middle finger,

[00:36:53] And I turned it into a,

[00:36:54] A merchandise,

[00:36:56] Where it says,

[00:36:57] Pack regrets,

[00:36:57] Because I'm a person who,

[00:36:59] I rather do something,

[00:37:01] And say,

[00:37:01] At least I did it,

[00:37:02] Even if it doesn't work,

[00:37:03] Than live in regrets,

[00:37:05] I don't have any regrets,

[00:37:06] Of my life,

[00:37:06] And I've done some,

[00:37:08] Stupid ass shit,

[00:37:09] Like I've made some,

[00:37:10] Stupid ass decisions,

[00:37:11] Last minute,

[00:37:12] I didn't,

[00:37:12] But when I look back,

[00:37:14] I'm like,

[00:37:14] You know,

[00:37:15] I learned this from that,

[00:37:17] I always take,

[00:37:18] What I learned from it,

[00:37:19] Instead of,

[00:37:20] Looking at it as a,

[00:37:21] As a loss,

[00:37:23] Because through whatever shit you have done,

[00:37:26] There's a lesson in it,

[00:37:28] Whether you grew,

[00:37:28] You learned something about yourself,

[00:37:30] Whether you learned something about that situation,

[00:37:32] Whether you learned what never to do again,

[00:37:35] Who never to do,

[00:37:36] Something,

[00:37:36] There's always a lesson,

[00:37:37] And I don't think my life,

[00:37:39] Would be the same,

[00:37:40] If I hadn't done that,

[00:37:41] Yeah,

[00:37:42] That is so real,

[00:37:43] That's the realest thing,

[00:37:45] I've heard somebody say,

[00:37:46] Like,

[00:37:46] You gotta live with no regrets,

[00:37:47] Because,

[00:37:48] Everything happens for reasons,

[00:37:50] And going back to my,

[00:37:52] Um,

[00:37:52] My segment,

[00:37:53] After all,

[00:37:54] It contributes to your story,

[00:37:56] That you can tell people that,

[00:37:57] This crazy ass shit happened to me,

[00:38:00] And I made it through it,

[00:38:01] That's the motivation right there,

[00:38:03] To keep going,

[00:38:04] To keep pursuing,

[00:38:05] Whatever it is,

[00:38:06] Because sometimes,

[00:38:07] You need the journeys and stuff,

[00:38:09] Because a lot of people that made it,

[00:38:11] They all say the same thing,

[00:38:12] They regret not enjoying the journey,

[00:38:14] Because,

[00:38:15] You gotta laugh to keep from crying,

[00:38:17] At some of this shit,

[00:38:18] Because,

[00:38:18] You believe some of this shit that happened,

[00:38:20] And you're like,

[00:38:20] Damn,

[00:38:20] This really happened?

[00:38:22] And you're like,

[00:38:22] I can't even make this shit up,

[00:38:24] And also,

[00:38:25] It's important for you to tell your story,

[00:38:26] Because you never know,

[00:38:27] Where it can get you,

[00:38:28] And you never know what doors,

[00:38:30] Beper for it,

[00:38:31] So,

[00:38:32] I definitely applaud you,

[00:38:33] Paula,

[00:38:33] Go ahead.

[00:38:35] I'm not a sucker for love,

[00:38:36] Right?

[00:38:37] I'm a sucker for love,

[00:38:38] My dad says,

[00:38:40] The reason probably I'm not married,

[00:38:42] Is because I,

[00:38:44] I romanticize love a lot,

[00:38:46] I used to watch a lot of,

[00:38:49] Love stories,

[00:38:50] And like romantic shit,

[00:38:52] I didn't,

[00:38:53] Unlike other people,

[00:38:54] I don't like reading romantic novels,

[00:38:56] Like my novels are always,

[00:38:58] I read a lot of Jackie Collins,

[00:39:01] And John Grisham,

[00:39:02] Who's a lawyer,

[00:39:03] Love books,

[00:39:04] I read novels where me and my dad would exchange,

[00:39:07] So,

[00:39:07] I didn't read any romantic novels,

[00:39:09] But I watched a lot of,

[00:39:10] You know,

[00:39:11] Love stories,

[00:39:13] Comedies,

[00:39:13] And all that,

[00:39:14] So,

[00:39:14] I'm a sucker for love,

[00:39:16] And I believe that,

[00:39:18] Even if,

[00:39:19] Most people are always concentrated on,

[00:39:22] What if we break up?

[00:39:24] So what?

[00:39:24] Yes,

[00:39:25] You break up,

[00:39:25] But,

[00:39:26] Why are you thinking about that?

[00:39:28] Do what you feel right now,

[00:39:29] That way when you break up,

[00:39:31] And that's why,

[00:39:31] For the longest,

[00:39:32] Most of my exes will tell you,

[00:39:35] And that's why they're still also my friends,

[00:39:37] Like I'm friends with most of my exes,

[00:39:38] But they're not as amazing as,

[00:39:40] This one who still does this shit,

[00:39:42] But all my exes are still my friends,

[00:39:45] We still,

[00:39:45] We don't talk regularly,

[00:39:46] But if I call them,

[00:39:48] And I need something,

[00:39:49] They're going to come through,

[00:39:50] It's because,

[00:39:51] When we were together,

[00:39:53] I'll give it our all,

[00:39:54] And I will try to make it work,

[00:39:57] Because when I walk away,

[00:39:58] I never turn back,

[00:40:00] Ever,

[00:40:01] This guy,

[00:40:02] This is why even my family doesn't understand,

[00:40:04] Or anything,

[00:40:05] Is the only ex who has been in my life since 2020,

[00:40:08] We were together in 2019,

[00:40:11] But until today,

[00:40:12] We've been on and off,

[00:40:14] On and off,

[00:40:14] To the extent that my family was like,

[00:40:16] We have never seen you go back to an ex,

[00:40:18] I'm like,

[00:40:18] I don't know,

[00:40:19] I feel like this guy has,

[00:40:21] Done some witchcraft on me or something,

[00:40:23] But whenever,

[00:40:24] Damn,

[00:40:24] I will put my all in something,

[00:40:27] And when I walk away,

[00:40:28] I walk away,

[00:40:29] Because I know I gave it my all,

[00:40:31] And I don't regret it,

[00:40:32] The journey was amazing,

[00:40:34] The person was amazing,

[00:40:35] It just wasn't meant to be,

[00:40:37] And that's okay,

[00:40:38] It's not a,

[00:40:41] An L,

[00:40:42] I think we're so concentrated on this,

[00:40:44] Oh,

[00:40:44] You're going to take an L,

[00:40:45] Blah,

[00:40:46] Blah,

[00:40:46] Blah,

[00:40:46] I don't give a fuck,

[00:40:47] And that's why when I,

[00:40:48] When I even date,

[00:40:49] And I'm proud of the person I am with,

[00:40:51] You will see him on my social media,

[00:40:53] Like people are like,

[00:40:54] What if you break up,

[00:40:55] And you've told all the words,

[00:40:56] I don't care,

[00:40:57] People break up,

[00:40:58] Life goes on,

[00:40:59] People have been married and divorced,

[00:41:01] So what?

[00:41:02] But we are so concentrated in thinking of it as an L,

[00:41:07] Like a loss,

[00:41:08] But I take it as an L,

[00:41:10] In a lesson,

[00:41:11] Because I learned some shit through that journey,

[00:41:14] Either I,

[00:41:15] And I learned about myself,

[00:41:17] And all of them,

[00:41:18] Have been the reason,

[00:41:20] Why after four engagements,

[00:41:22] I still have not walked down the aisle,

[00:41:24] And why I am not going to walk down the aisle,

[00:41:27] For just anybody,

[00:41:28] Because I know exactly what I want,

[00:41:30] I know how much I've worked on myself,

[00:41:32] The growth,

[00:41:33] And not all of them were there for,

[00:41:35] Some of them I messed up,

[00:41:37] I have cheated,

[00:41:38] I've been cheated on,

[00:41:39] I've done some false shit,

[00:41:41] And I've gone through that,

[00:41:43] And when I look at it,

[00:41:45] Somebody had asked me,

[00:41:48] The time I cheated,

[00:41:50] They asked me,

[00:41:51] Do you regret cheating?

[00:41:54] And when I cheated,

[00:41:56] At that time,

[00:41:57] I used to tell people I regretted it,

[00:41:59] And then it took me a while,

[00:42:01] When I finally really started to,

[00:42:03] To dive into the whys and everything,

[00:42:05] And the reason behind why I cheated,

[00:42:07] And everything that I did when I was cheating,

[00:42:10] And do I regret it?

[00:42:11] No.

[00:42:12] Will I ever do it again?

[00:42:14] No.

[00:42:14] Because I learned something,

[00:42:16] And that's why even,

[00:42:19] It's funny,

[00:42:20] I don't think I've ever shared this story,

[00:42:21] Online or anywhere,

[00:42:23] In 2020,

[00:42:25] I met a guy,

[00:42:27] When I was,

[00:42:28] I broke up with my,

[00:42:30] My ex,

[00:42:31] And,

[00:42:32] He broke up with me in January,

[00:42:34] I believe,

[00:42:34] Right before his birthday,

[00:42:36] Yeah,

[00:42:36] His birthday was February,

[00:42:37] And then around July,

[00:42:39] I met somebody,

[00:42:41] And we were dating,

[00:42:43] And within a month,

[00:42:44] He engaged me,

[00:42:45] And I said yes,

[00:42:47] Damn,

[00:42:47] What,

[00:42:47] That a month?

[00:42:49] It's fast,

[00:42:51] God damn,

[00:42:52] What is this,

[00:42:52] 90 day Beyonce?

[00:42:54] Some people,

[00:42:55] Some people work fast,

[00:42:55] I literally,

[00:42:56] Was hanging out with a couple,

[00:42:57] And I've known them through potfers,

[00:42:59] For three years,

[00:43:00] And I found out,

[00:43:01] In a week of them,

[00:43:02] Knowing they moved in together,

[00:43:03] And a year later,

[00:43:04] They go married,

[00:43:05] Sometimes some people know,

[00:43:06] Just cause you,

[00:43:07] You know,

[00:43:08] Some people know,

[00:43:09] And literally,

[00:43:10] We broke up,

[00:43:10] And now he's also married,

[00:43:11] So I think,

[00:43:13] Either he really wants marriage,

[00:43:15] Or he really found a person,

[00:43:16] He wanted to,

[00:43:17] I don't know,

[00:43:17] But when he engaged me,

[00:43:23] I was going to,

[00:43:25] After the engagement,

[00:43:26] I was going to Arkansas,

[00:43:28] For a weekend,

[00:43:29] My friend had bought her house,

[00:43:31] And she was doing a house warning,

[00:43:33] And I love celebrating my friends,

[00:43:34] If I can,

[00:43:35] If you give me advance notice,

[00:43:38] And I can make it,

[00:43:39] I'm going to show up,

[00:43:40] And celebrate you,

[00:43:41] So,

[00:43:42] I went,

[00:43:43] And we were celebrating,

[00:43:45] But it's funny,

[00:43:46] Cause when I was at the airport,

[00:43:48] My ex called me,

[00:43:50] We hadn't spoken since,

[00:43:52] Like,

[00:43:53] During COVID,

[00:43:54] Cause I sent him an email,

[00:43:55] I was worried about him,

[00:43:56] And his kids,

[00:43:57] You know COVID,

[00:43:58] And I loved him,

[00:43:59] Even though we were broken up,

[00:44:00] It was something,

[00:44:01] The entire world was going through,

[00:44:03] But we weren't talking like that,

[00:44:04] He responded to my email,

[00:44:05] Saying I'm thinking about you too,

[00:44:07] Sending you back,

[00:44:08] But we weren't like,

[00:44:09] Back to talking time,

[00:44:11] So,

[00:44:12] When I was going to,

[00:44:13] When I was sitting at the airport,

[00:44:15] Right about to board,

[00:44:17] He messages me,

[00:44:18] He saw a picture,

[00:44:21] On,

[00:44:21] On Instagram,

[00:44:22] And he sends me,

[00:44:23] He had zoomed,

[00:44:24] My hand was showing the ring,

[00:44:26] He was like,

[00:44:27] Are you engaged?

[00:44:29] And I lied,

[00:44:30] I said no,

[00:44:31] It's just a ring,

[00:44:33] I was like,

[00:44:34] We need to talk,

[00:44:34] I was like,

[00:44:35] I'm about to board,

[00:44:36] When I get there,

[00:44:37] I'll call you,

[00:44:38] When I go to my friend's house,

[00:44:40] I texted him,

[00:44:41] I was like,

[00:44:42] I called him,

[00:44:42] And was like,

[00:44:43] Hey,

[00:44:43] I'm in the shower,

[00:44:44] Unless you want to have that kind of call,

[00:44:47] Or I'll call you after the shower,

[00:44:48] I was like,

[00:44:48] Behave sir,

[00:44:49] Call me when you're done,

[00:44:50] But the entire weekend,

[00:44:53] I ended up talking to him,

[00:44:54] I didn't even check in,

[00:44:55] I didn't talk to my so-called fiance,

[00:44:58] Who at this time,

[00:44:59] We were looking for places to move in together,

[00:45:03] And my ex started telling me,

[00:45:06] Oh,

[00:45:06] I'm coming to Atlanta,

[00:45:08] Because I'm coming to Atlanta for Thanksgiving,

[00:45:10] Blah,

[00:45:11] Blah,

[00:45:11] Blah,

[00:45:11] Blah,

[00:45:11] Blah,

[00:45:12] Blah,

[00:45:12] And I was like,

[00:45:12] Cool,

[00:45:13] He's like,

[00:45:14] Will I see?

[00:45:14] I'm like,

[00:45:15] Yeah,

[00:45:15] And then in my head,

[00:45:16] I started thinking like,

[00:45:18] Okay,

[00:45:18] I'm moving with this guy,

[00:45:20] How am I going to see my ex?

[00:45:21] Like,

[00:45:21] What do I tell?

[00:45:22] I came home,

[00:45:24] I looked at my so-called fiance,

[00:45:27] And I was like,

[00:45:28] We can't move in together,

[00:45:29] And I can't get married to you,

[00:45:31] Because I knew I wasn't done,

[00:45:33] I really emotionally wasn't done,

[00:45:36] Dealing with this breakup,

[00:45:38] And I knew,

[00:45:39] This guy coming into town,

[00:45:41] I was going to sleep with him,

[00:45:44] So why,

[00:45:45] Cheat,

[00:45:46] And the fact that I'm still entertaining it,

[00:45:49] And doing that,

[00:45:50] Means I shouldn't be getting married to nobody,

[00:45:55] Right,

[00:45:55] So yes,

[00:45:56] I no longer cheat,

[00:45:57] I learned from that,

[00:45:58] But do I regret cheating?

[00:46:00] No,

[00:46:02] But you know what,

[00:46:03] I think the biggest takeaway,

[00:46:05] You get from that is,

[00:46:07] Don't move until you know that you're done with somebody,

[00:46:10] Because I went through that same thing,

[00:46:12] I tried to date somebody,

[00:46:13] After a breakup,

[00:46:15] And my mind,

[00:46:15] I just,

[00:46:16] I was physically there,

[00:46:18] But I was still mentally hung up on,

[00:46:20] How it ended with this person,

[00:46:22] Because,

[00:46:22] I thought this person was the one,

[00:46:24] So,

[00:46:24] I totally feel that,

[00:46:26] And it's like,

[00:46:27] You can't really date,

[00:46:28] And proceed until you've healed,

[00:46:31] That's a message to everybody,

[00:46:33] Men and women,

[00:46:34] Because so many times,

[00:46:35] People,

[00:46:35] They be out here dating,

[00:46:36] And they're not really healed after the last person,

[00:46:39] I know you want to be up under somebody,

[00:46:41] Or,

[00:46:41] You want to sleep with somebody,

[00:46:43] But sometimes,

[00:46:43] You got to take that time,

[00:46:45] To just deal with yourself,

[00:46:47] Like,

[00:46:47] Deal with yourself,

[00:46:48] You got to heal,

[00:46:49] Because,

[00:46:49] I've,

[00:46:50] I've seen some situations,

[00:46:51] Like,

[00:46:52] Even a chick,

[00:46:52] I was talking to him,

[00:46:53] I could tell that she wasn't,

[00:46:55] Over her ex,

[00:46:56] Because,

[00:46:56] She would talk about what her ex did,

[00:46:58] And stuff,

[00:46:59] And I'm like,

[00:47:00] Why do you talk about this nigga,

[00:47:02] I'm like,

[00:47:03] Damn,

[00:47:03] And then when I make a mistake,

[00:47:05] It's like,

[00:47:06] You try to hold me to the same standard as him,

[00:47:08] I'm like,

[00:47:09] Yeah,

[00:47:09] What's the grace for me,

[00:47:10] You know,

[00:47:10] So people,

[00:47:11] Y'all need to heal,

[00:47:14] You do,

[00:47:14] And that's why,

[00:47:17] After that,

[00:47:18] I realized like,

[00:47:21] Since 20,

[00:47:24] 20 after that engagement,

[00:47:25] I haven't been in a relationship,

[00:47:27] I needed to really,

[00:47:29] Be like,

[00:47:30] Okay,

[00:47:30] I need to heal,

[00:47:31] I need to,

[00:47:32] I can't bring somebody else,

[00:47:34] Because this person's still,

[00:47:36] And,

[00:47:36] He is my soulmate,

[00:47:38] And I really thought he was the one,

[00:47:39] We were talking marriage and kids,

[00:47:41] And she,

[00:47:42] And,

[00:47:44] I don't talk marriage to just anybody,

[00:47:46] Even though I've been engaged,

[00:47:47] Those many times,

[00:47:48] I'm a person,

[00:47:48] Even my dad,

[00:47:49] That's why,

[00:47:50] My family,

[00:47:51] Even though coming from Africa,

[00:47:53] This person,

[00:47:53] They're looking at you like you're 35,

[00:47:55] You should be married with kids right now,

[00:47:57] He doesn't pressure me,

[00:47:57] Because,

[00:47:58] Me and my dad's favorite movie,

[00:48:00] Is Father of the Bride,

[00:48:01] And literally,

[00:48:03] I told him,

[00:48:04] I'm so sorry,

[00:48:04] You won't get to do this,

[00:48:05] Because from my young age,

[00:48:06] I knew I didn't want to get married,

[00:48:08] Because of my parents' divorce,

[00:48:10] I,

[00:48:11] I,

[00:48:11] I did not want to get married,

[00:48:13] So,

[00:48:14] There are literally,

[00:48:15] Only three exes,

[00:48:18] Who I saw myself getting married,

[00:48:20] And those are the ones,

[00:48:21] Who never engaged me motherfuckers,

[00:48:22] But anyway,

[00:48:23] So,

[00:48:24] But this one,

[00:48:25] This one was so different,

[00:48:26] Because,

[00:48:27] When I say he really is my best friend,

[00:48:30] When,

[00:48:30] When I have good news,

[00:48:31] Or bad news,

[00:48:32] He's the first person on a call,

[00:48:34] When I'm in trouble,

[00:48:35] I call,

[00:48:36] Whether we are mad at each other,

[00:48:37] Or we are not talking,

[00:48:38] If I'm in trouble,

[00:48:39] He bails me out,

[00:48:40] So there was that connection,

[00:48:42] That I really needed to cut off,

[00:48:44] Even when we were trying,

[00:48:45] To be friends,

[00:48:47] We couldn't even be actual friends,

[00:48:49] Because both of us,

[00:48:50] Hadn't even healed from that,

[00:48:52] You can't just jump into friendship,

[00:48:54] We tried to learn how to,

[00:48:55] To make,

[00:48:56] Create boundaries,

[00:48:57] So we are both teaching each other,

[00:48:58] To be these friends,

[00:49:00] Without crossing the line,

[00:49:01] And for me,

[00:49:02] Since 2020,

[00:49:04] I haven't literally,

[00:49:05] Been in a relationship,

[00:49:06] No nigga out there,

[00:49:07] Can claim me,

[00:49:08] And say we're in a relationship,

[00:49:09] Or shit,

[00:49:10] And,

[00:49:10] I just have,

[00:49:12] My,

[00:49:13] My fuck buddies,

[00:49:14] Like you know,

[00:49:14] Because a car needs to be serviced,

[00:49:16] At the end of the day,

[00:49:17] So,

[00:49:18] I am not getting in a relationship,

[00:49:21] You're blessed to even have that,

[00:49:23] Because,

[00:49:23] Oh,

[00:49:25] Because,

[00:49:25] Go ahead,

[00:49:26] I said you're blessed to even have that,

[00:49:28] Because I don't even got none of that,

[00:49:30] It's like everybody,

[00:49:31] When I'm done with you,

[00:49:31] I'm done with you,

[00:49:32] I don't even hold on to you,

[00:49:33] Or nothing,

[00:49:34] You might see me on social media,

[00:49:36] But,

[00:49:36] I just cut everybody off,

[00:49:37] Because it's like,

[00:49:38] What's the point?

[00:49:38] Because,

[00:49:39] You gonna do something,

[00:49:40] That's gonna trigger me,

[00:49:41] That's how I see it,

[00:49:42] You gonna either do something,

[00:49:43] That trigger me,

[00:49:44] Or I'm gonna do something,

[00:49:45] That triggers you,

[00:49:46] So I'm like,

[00:49:47] I'm just,

[00:49:47] When I'm done with you,

[00:49:47] I'm done with you,

[00:49:48] I'm not even,

[00:49:49] That's why you need healing,

[00:49:51] That's why you need healing,

[00:49:52] When you're healed,

[00:49:53] Nothing can trigger you,

[00:49:55] You're right,

[00:49:56] You're right,

[00:49:57] I agree with that part,

[00:49:58] But it's like,

[00:49:58] I can be healed,

[00:49:59] But I'm not going to waste my time with you,

[00:50:01] Because I already know what you're about,

[00:50:03] I already know,

[00:50:04] What you're about,

[00:50:05] I already know what time it is with you,

[00:50:07] And I know if I go down the road,

[00:50:08] And get what I want,

[00:50:09] Eventually,

[00:50:09] You're gonna be asking me for some things,

[00:50:11] That I might not want to give you,

[00:50:12] You feel me?

[00:50:14] And that's why boundaries are important,

[00:50:16] Create those boundaries,

[00:50:18] Yes,

[00:50:19] Create those boundaries,

[00:50:21] Ladies and gentlemen,

[00:50:22] Please create those boundaries,

[00:50:25] Even if you got to get it tatted on you,

[00:50:27] But boundaries,

[00:50:29] I just told me she was gonna do that shit,

[00:50:30] I'm like, ma'am,

[00:50:31] You're talking about some,

[00:50:33] Creating boundaries,

[00:50:33] But yet,

[00:50:34] You don't act on those boundaries,

[00:50:36] Ma'am,

[00:50:37] No,

[00:50:38] You're talking about creating boundaries,

[00:50:40] Right?

[00:50:41] It really is hard,

[00:50:42] Especially when you're learning,

[00:50:43] Right?

[00:50:44] And that's why even me,

[00:50:45] Um,

[00:50:47] It takes a while,

[00:50:48] Because,

[00:50:48] You're still so used to your ways,

[00:50:52] But you're trying to also,

[00:50:53] Own of those boundaries,

[00:50:54] So it takes a minute to own in,

[00:50:57] And that's why,

[00:50:58] I tell people,

[00:50:59] This is,

[00:51:00] I'm so grateful for my growth,

[00:51:02] Because I am a sarcastic ass,

[00:51:04] Petty ass bitch,

[00:51:06] And sometimes,

[00:51:09] People really be testing my patience,

[00:51:13] And then I,

[00:51:14] I do wanna,

[00:51:15] I do wanna react,

[00:51:17] And then I,

[00:51:18] When I don't,

[00:51:19] I'm like,

[00:51:20] Damn,

[00:51:20] I'm so damn proud of you,

[00:51:22] You're literally like,

[00:51:23] I could have,

[00:51:24] But also sometimes,

[00:51:25] It might stay in my head like,

[00:51:27] Damn,

[00:51:27] I really wish I could have responded,

[00:51:28] That way I really wanted to,

[00:51:30] But then I'm like,

[00:51:31] You know what?

[00:51:32] If I would have responded,

[00:51:33] That way I wanted to,

[00:51:35] It would have bring this back and forth,

[00:51:37] Which would have,

[00:51:39] Taken away my peace,

[00:51:40] I'm big on my peace these days,

[00:51:42] So,

[00:51:43] These days,

[00:51:44] I just block,

[00:51:44] And me and me,

[00:51:45] We block each other all the time,

[00:51:46] Like,

[00:51:47] Sometimes when,

[00:51:47] Even while he's typing,

[00:51:49] When I know he's already on his sheet,

[00:51:51] I just block you,

[00:51:52] And when I'm ready to hear from you,

[00:51:53] I will unblock you,

[00:51:54] But,

[00:51:55] But I'm,

[00:51:56] I'm on that wave that,

[00:51:58] I am doing this because I want peace,

[00:52:01] So when you really care about your,

[00:52:02] Like,

[00:52:03] When you have worked on yourself,

[00:52:04] And you really crave peace,

[00:52:06] You know,

[00:52:07] You will,

[00:52:08] Make sure those boundaries stick,

[00:52:10] Because that's the only way I stick,

[00:52:12] I'm like,

[00:52:12] Because I know if I just entertain it,

[00:52:15] Or cross it,

[00:52:17] I will get myself mad,

[00:52:18] And I'm the one who's ruining my own peace,

[00:52:20] Because I decided,

[00:52:22] To do that,

[00:52:23] So,

[00:52:23] But,

[00:52:24] But,

[00:52:24] It's a lesson,

[00:52:25] It's not easy,

[00:52:26] I'm not going to say that it's easy,

[00:52:28] It is not,

[00:52:29] But then,

[00:52:30] When I do end up,

[00:52:32] Crossing the line,

[00:52:35] I end up regretting it more,

[00:52:37] Because I'm like,

[00:52:37] You did this to yourself,

[00:52:39] Because you wanted to be petty,

[00:52:41] You wanted to be savage,

[00:52:42] You needed to respond,

[00:52:44] This is,

[00:52:44] I just tell people,

[00:52:45] I hope you heal,

[00:52:46] And I leave you there,

[00:52:47] Or sometimes I just leave you pending,

[00:52:49] Or I just do thumbs up,

[00:52:51] Or the bless emoji,

[00:52:52] Those are my favorite ones,

[00:52:53] I feel you there,

[00:52:54] Because it's like,

[00:52:55] Sometimes I,

[00:52:56] Maybe some people I want to respond to,

[00:52:58] But then I'm like,

[00:52:59] I ask myself,

[00:52:59] Is it even worth it?

[00:53:00] Because if I respond,

[00:53:02] It's going to go over this person's head,

[00:53:04] Can this person,

[00:53:05] Can this person understand where I'm coming from?

[00:53:07] Can they comprehend what I'm saying,

[00:53:09] If I respond to them?

[00:53:11] And usually the answer is no,

[00:53:12] So it's like,

[00:53:13] Why waste my time?

[00:53:14] I'm just like,

[00:53:14] To hell with you,

[00:53:15] I'm not even going to respond to you,

[00:53:16] I'm just going to move on,

[00:53:18] And that's why I've been so chill,

[00:53:19] On this dating thing,

[00:53:20] Because it's like,

[00:53:21] Why do I want to waste my time?

[00:53:22] I've only been on like,

[00:53:23] Two dates this year,

[00:53:24] I'm like,

[00:53:24] Why do I even want to waste my time?

[00:53:26] Because it's like,

[00:53:27] I know it's not what I really want.

[00:53:30] I literally use my dating apps,

[00:53:32] To promote my podcast,

[00:53:33] Like I,

[00:53:34] It's like,

[00:53:35] Every dating app,

[00:53:36] And I get,

[00:53:37] Most of my new listeners,

[00:53:39] That have been from dating,

[00:53:40] They're like,

[00:53:41] Oh yeah,

[00:53:41] Podcasts here,

[00:53:42] Tell me about your podcast,

[00:53:43] I'm like,

[00:53:44] Go listen and find out.

[00:53:46] Yeah,

[00:53:47] I need to steal that from you,

[00:53:49] Because,

[00:53:50] If you get some group chats and stuff,

[00:53:51] It'd be like,

[00:53:52] You're literally for infos and audios,

[00:53:54] And I told them,

[00:53:55] Hey,

[00:53:55] I'm going to fly to Baltimore,

[00:53:56] And stuff,

[00:53:57] What's your podcast about?

[00:53:58] Yeah,

[00:53:59] Motherfuckers,

[00:53:59] Go ahead,

[00:53:59] Turn around and listen to the damn podcast,

[00:54:02] And stuff asking me,

[00:54:03] And don't you hate that,

[00:54:04] When it happens like,

[00:54:05] You tell me somebody,

[00:54:05] I'm going to this conference,

[00:54:07] They're like,

[00:54:07] Oh,

[00:54:07] What's the conference about?

[00:54:08] And I'm like,

[00:54:09] Motherfucker,

[00:54:10] How many times I got to tell you,

[00:54:11] Shut the fuck up,

[00:54:12] Exactly.

[00:54:12] How many times I got to tell y'all asses,

[00:54:14] What this damn conference is about?

[00:54:16] Like,

[00:54:16] If you listen to my podcast,

[00:54:19] Oh yeah,

[00:54:19] That's right.

[00:54:20] I just be sending links.

[00:54:21] You know,

[00:54:21] I should do that,

[00:54:22] You know,

[00:54:23] I should definitely do that,

[00:54:24] Because,

[00:54:25] Even in dating apps,

[00:54:26] When people ask things,

[00:54:27] Because,

[00:54:28] I have certain interview,

[00:54:30] Certain shit on my podcast,

[00:54:31] Where they can tell you more about me,

[00:54:33] And,

[00:54:35] On my birthday,

[00:54:37] Last year,

[00:54:38] When I turned 34,

[00:54:39] Because normally,

[00:54:40] My episodes come out on Wednesday,

[00:54:42] Normally on June,

[00:54:43] I'm normally on break,

[00:54:44] But,

[00:54:45] I started a little bit late,

[00:54:47] So,

[00:54:47] June,

[00:54:48] The episodes were ongoing,

[00:54:50] On my birthday,

[00:54:51] So,

[00:54:51] I was like,

[00:54:52] We'll do an episode for my birthday,

[00:54:54] Because I haven't done that,

[00:54:56] Since when I started podcasting,

[00:54:58] Which I went skydiving,

[00:54:59] And I talked about it,

[00:55:01] But then I was like,

[00:55:01] Because most of the time,

[00:55:02] I'm on break,

[00:55:03] So I never have to put out,

[00:55:04] An episode on my birthday,

[00:55:06] So I brought in a friend of mine,

[00:55:08] Who was thinking about,

[00:55:09] Starting a podcast,

[00:55:11] I was like,

[00:55:11] Well come interview me on my podcast,

[00:55:13] That way you can get the feel,

[00:55:14] Of how a podcast feels,

[00:55:16] Right?

[00:55:16] Even though she has been a guest,

[00:55:17] On my podcast,

[00:55:18] I was like,

[00:55:18] Come do it as an interview,

[00:55:20] So I was a guest on my own show,

[00:55:22] And she was,

[00:55:24] The title of the episode,

[00:55:26] Was 34 questions for my 34,

[00:55:28] So she had 34 questions for me,

[00:55:30] I didn't know about the questions,

[00:55:32] She was asking me on the spot,

[00:55:34] I told her,

[00:55:35] Don't send me the questions,

[00:55:36] I don't want to know about the questions,

[00:55:38] And some of them were personal,

[00:55:39] Some of them were in the,

[00:55:41] Industry wise and everything,

[00:55:43] So anybody who asks me,

[00:55:44] Tell me about you or whatever,

[00:55:45] I just send them the link,

[00:55:46] Of the 34,

[00:55:47] 34 questions,

[00:55:48] Go listen,

[00:55:49] Yeah,

[00:55:49] Listen Paul,

[00:55:50] You just gave me an idea,

[00:55:51] Because I celebrate 34 in December,

[00:55:53] You,

[00:55:53] You give me an idea right now,

[00:55:55] Because,

[00:55:56] Um,

[00:55:56] Yeah,

[00:55:57] I turned 34 in December,

[00:55:58] So,

[00:55:59] Um,

[00:55:59] You give,

[00:56:00] Oh my god,

[00:56:00] I'm harder than you,

[00:56:02] Oh my god,

[00:56:03] I love it when I find out,

[00:56:04] I'm older than,

[00:56:05] The set of people,

[00:56:05] You older me,

[00:56:06] But you are like,

[00:56:07] Six months,

[00:56:09] Not by six months,

[00:56:11] Because if you're turning 34 in December,

[00:56:13] I turn 35 this year in June,

[00:56:15] So I'm 35,

[00:56:16] I'm like,

[00:56:17] I all,

[00:56:17] You mean in 2025,

[00:56:19] You'll be turning 35?

[00:56:20] I'll be turning 36 in 2025,

[00:56:23] Oh,

[00:56:24] Wow,

[00:56:25] Damn,

[00:56:25] I celebrated my 30,

[00:56:27] I celebrated my 35th birthday,

[00:56:29] The Empowered Podcasting Conference,

[00:56:31] In Charlotte,

[00:56:32] Because they did it during my birthday weekend,

[00:56:34] And they paid for my hotel,

[00:56:36] They paid for my,

[00:56:37] They were gonna pay for my flight,

[00:56:39] But me and my friends drove,

[00:56:40] And they paid for my,

[00:56:42] Uh,

[00:56:42] Just being there,

[00:56:43] And people sang for me,

[00:56:44] It was the best 35th birthday ever,

[00:56:46] So yeah,

[00:56:47] Shout out to them,

[00:56:48] Shit,

[00:56:49] Um,

[00:56:50] Like I said,

[00:56:50] I need to figure out something for 34,

[00:56:51] But I don't know what I'm gonna do for 34 yet,

[00:56:54] Um,

[00:56:54] I have no clue,

[00:56:55] Because,

[00:56:56] December's kind of a weird month,

[00:56:58] Because,

[00:56:58] You know,

[00:56:59] It's birthday,

[00:56:59] Everybody's precipitated on Christmas,

[00:57:02] It's Christmas,

[00:57:03] The 5th of December,

[00:57:05] Oh,

[00:57:06] At least it was a little bit early,

[00:57:07] Because I was so mad,

[00:57:08] If it was the week of the,

[00:57:09] But people always distracted,

[00:57:11] Because,

[00:57:12] People wait,

[00:57:14] Like,

[00:57:14] You already know,

[00:57:15] Right now,

[00:57:15] People should already be Christmas shopping,

[00:57:17] But people wait until December,

[00:57:18] Like that,

[00:57:19] Oh,

[00:57:19] It's December,

[00:57:20] I need to do all this shit,

[00:57:22] No motherfucker,

[00:57:23] You should already be doing that,

[00:57:24] Ma'am,

[00:57:24] Listen,

[00:57:25] I don't,

[00:57:25] I don't need to hear that from the people,

[00:57:27] Because they got it easy now,

[00:57:28] Y'all could just go on Amazon,

[00:57:29] Or go on these damn stores,

[00:57:31] And order this shit,

[00:57:32] You don't have to go to the damn stores anymore,

[00:57:34] All the damn stores are closed,

[00:57:35] So just order this shit online,

[00:57:37] Let me give you another trick,

[00:57:39] What,

[00:57:40] What,

[00:57:40] What,

[00:57:40] What I started also doing is,

[00:57:42] Um,

[00:57:43] I created a,

[00:57:46] You know,

[00:57:47] On,

[00:57:47] On Amazon,

[00:57:48] Where you can create your list of things,

[00:57:50] And you just add shit,

[00:57:51] So I have that talk shit with peer list,

[00:57:53] Like my own list,

[00:57:55] Like how people do when they're getting married,

[00:57:57] Their registry,

[00:57:58] Right?

[00:57:58] Or they're having a baby,

[00:58:00] So you do a registry for your own,

[00:58:02] And you dump everything you like,

[00:58:04] I dump there,

[00:58:05] And then whenever it's my podcast anniversary,

[00:58:07] Whenever it's my birthday,

[00:58:08] I just share that link with people,

[00:58:10] Because you don't even need my address,

[00:58:11] You go to the link,

[00:58:12] You don't even need to worry about,

[00:58:14] I don't know what to buy this person,

[00:58:16] Because you just pick on the things,

[00:58:18] That I already have there,

[00:58:19] Whichever serves your budget,

[00:58:22] And you just click send,

[00:58:23] It ships to my address,

[00:58:25] So,

[00:58:26] Make a list.

[00:58:27] Damn,

[00:58:27] I need to go ahead and send that list off,

[00:58:29] To some people,

[00:58:30] Because hey,

[00:58:30] I already got the liquor told list,

[00:58:32] Hey y'all,

[00:58:33] Paula done gave y'all some tips,

[00:58:34] Y'all,

[00:58:35] So if y'all ever,

[00:58:36] If somebody ever says,

[00:58:37] What do you want for Christmas,

[00:58:38] What do you want for birthday?

[00:58:39] Send them the goddamn Amazon list,

[00:58:42] That's some good shit,

[00:58:43] Paula.

[00:58:44] And because I hate,

[00:58:45] I hate when people ask me,

[00:58:47] What do you want,

[00:58:48] Because you never know their budget,

[00:58:49] I can tell you something,

[00:58:50] That's too expensive for you,

[00:58:52] Or I can tell you,

[00:58:53] Because I never,

[00:58:53] I feel weird when people ask me,

[00:58:55] So that's when I was like,

[00:58:56] Let me just create a list,

[00:58:58] On the thing,

[00:58:59] And also,

[00:58:59] Don't you hate it,

[00:59:00] When people buy you shit,

[00:59:01] That you don't like,

[00:59:02] And you're like,

[00:59:02] Why the fuck did they even buy me this,

[00:59:04] Like,

[00:59:04] For real,

[00:59:05] You should know me better by now,

[00:59:06] Like,

[00:59:06] What am I going to do this with,

[00:59:13] Stuff there,

[00:59:14] Like,

[00:59:15] I put all the things,

[00:59:16] It's like my wish list,

[00:59:17] The things that,

[00:59:19] When I have the budget for it,

[00:59:21] I can also buy,

[00:59:22] But in case somebody out there,

[00:59:24] Wants to buy it for me,

[00:59:25] Even when you go,

[00:59:26] Literally,

[00:59:27] When you go to my,

[00:59:28] My Instagram right now,

[00:59:30] And click my flow chat,

[00:59:32] Which has all my,

[00:59:33] My shit at the very bottom,

[00:59:34] You see Paula's Amazon wish list,

[00:59:37] So anybody,

[00:59:38] Whoever,

[00:59:38] One day you just wake up,

[00:59:40] And feel like,

[00:59:40] You know what,

[00:59:41] I want to bless Paula today,

[00:59:42] You just click on that link,

[00:59:44] You see all the shit,

[00:59:45] That I've put in there,

[00:59:46] And whatever your budget says,

[00:59:48] This is what I want,

[00:59:49] So,

[00:59:49] Sometimes I put,

[00:59:50] Podcasting equipment,

[00:59:51] That I always wanted to buy,

[00:59:53] But I just don't want to,

[00:59:54] Buy for myself,

[00:59:55] Like I want,

[00:59:55] But I just don't want to,

[00:59:56] Buy for myself,

[00:59:57] Or I can't afford it,

[00:59:58] I put all the,

[00:59:59] Some,

[01:00:00] Some it's clothes,

[01:00:01] Some it's,

[01:00:02] Like,

[01:00:02] All the bunch shit,

[01:00:03] And then you just share it,

[01:00:05] With your community,

[01:00:05] And people that way,

[01:00:08] Without having to,

[01:00:09] Get shitty presents,

[01:00:11] Yeah,

[01:00:12] We wanted to do that,

[01:00:13] So what is the plan,

[01:00:14] For the remainder of the year,

[01:00:15] Of Florida,

[01:00:16] Talk show with you podcast,

[01:00:18] Talk show with you,

[01:00:19] Has no plan for the rest of the year,

[01:00:21] To be honest,

[01:00:21] I haven't,

[01:00:23] Season,

[01:00:25] Season nine is out,

[01:00:27] Episodes that go out,

[01:00:28] Every Wednesday,

[01:00:29] But last Wednesday,

[01:00:30] I haven't put out an episode,

[01:00:31] I don't think I'm putting out,

[01:00:32] An episode this week,

[01:00:34] I think I'm gonna wait,

[01:00:35] Until,

[01:00:37] November,

[01:00:37] I'm really like,

[01:00:38] I've been back to back,

[01:00:40] On conferences,

[01:00:41] And I'm exhausted,

[01:00:42] And to me,

[01:00:43] It's like,

[01:00:44] I want,

[01:00:45] I don't want to put out,

[01:00:46] An episode,

[01:00:47] And then be lazy,

[01:00:47] To promote it,

[01:00:48] Because the guest doesn't deserve that,

[01:00:50] Especially when other guests,

[01:00:51] Has gotten,

[01:00:52] The great amount,

[01:00:53] Of promotion,

[01:00:55] So,

[01:00:56] It's taking a break,

[01:00:57] But,

[01:00:58] Um,

[01:00:59] This year has really been,

[01:01:01] A very,

[01:01:02] Not motivational year,

[01:01:04] For talk show with you,

[01:01:05] In podcasting wise,

[01:01:06] But it also,

[01:01:07] Worked out,

[01:01:08] Perfectly,

[01:01:09] Because,

[01:01:11] February,

[01:01:12] And March,

[01:01:13] I did like,

[01:01:14] Almost,

[01:01:14] 60 lives,

[01:01:17] Sometimes,

[01:01:18] I was doing lives,

[01:01:19] Three days,

[01:01:20] Three times a day,

[01:01:21] Or four times a day,

[01:01:22] So,

[01:01:23] It is,

[01:01:23] Those are like,

[01:01:24] Backhand episodes,

[01:01:25] I really haven't recorded,

[01:01:26] As much,

[01:01:27] Fresh episodes,

[01:01:28] As I,

[01:01:29] As I normally do,

[01:01:31] But I have been,

[01:01:32] Taking the audios,

[01:01:33] And inputting them,

[01:01:34] On conversations,

[01:01:35] That I know,

[01:01:36] Need more highlighting,

[01:01:37] Because,

[01:01:37] The video is already,

[01:01:39] On LinkedIn,

[01:01:39] YouTube,

[01:01:40] Instagram,

[01:01:41] Wherever,

[01:01:42] But,

[01:01:43] Um,

[01:01:43] Only because,

[01:01:45] I want to make,

[01:01:46] Some changes,

[01:01:47] To talk show with you,

[01:01:48] But I also,

[01:01:49] Don't want to do them,

[01:01:50] Right now,

[01:01:52] Because the year,

[01:01:52] Is coming to an end,

[01:01:53] So I'm working on,

[01:01:55] On these changes,

[01:01:56] For 2025,

[01:01:57] 2025,

[01:01:59] But I'm still like,

[01:02:01] I think that's why,

[01:02:01] I decided this year,

[01:02:02] To go to a lot of conferences,

[01:02:04] To get like,

[01:02:05] Inspiration on,

[01:02:06] How talk show with you,

[01:02:08] Will move,

[01:02:09] Forward in,

[01:02:10] In 2025,

[01:02:12] Uh,

[01:02:13] We're working on our media kit,

[01:02:14] Because we're going to be,

[01:02:15] Hitting some bigger sponsors,

[01:02:17] Talk show with you,

[01:02:18] Is celebrating,

[01:02:19] Five years next year,

[01:02:21] And,

[01:02:22] Uh,

[01:02:23] But we are working on,

[01:02:24] Christmas boxes,

[01:02:25] This year,

[01:02:26] Um,

[01:02:26] I'm excited about that,

[01:02:29] I,

[01:02:29] I don't know where the money,

[01:02:30] Is coming to,

[01:02:31] From to fund us,

[01:02:33] But we're working on it,

[01:02:35] And,

[01:02:35] Um,

[01:02:37] I am,

[01:02:38] I am more,

[01:02:39] Excited about 2025,

[01:02:41] I don't know where,

[01:02:41] It's going to go,

[01:02:42] But,

[01:02:43] I feel like 2025,

[01:02:44] Will bring different,

[01:02:46] Shit for talk show with you,

[01:02:47] I don't know if that answers,

[01:02:48] The question or not,

[01:02:49] But,

[01:02:50] That's,

[01:02:50] I mean,

[01:02:51] That's good enough,

[01:02:52] But hey,

[01:02:52] I just hope,

[01:02:52] Look at how it gets the Christmas box,

[01:02:54] But,

[01:02:54] Last question,

[01:02:56] Why do people,

[01:02:58] Wait,

[01:02:58] You weren't on the list,

[01:03:01] Because,

[01:03:02] So,

[01:03:04] If you have met me,

[01:03:05] Or you have known me,

[01:03:07] I lock my merchandise,

[01:03:08] Everywhere,

[01:03:09] Right,

[01:03:09] And there was a time,

[01:03:11] Where I was,

[01:03:12] Selling these,

[01:03:13] And then I shut the shop down,

[01:03:15] So,

[01:03:16] Right now,

[01:03:16] My marketing has been,

[01:03:18] Where,

[01:03:18] The very select people,

[01:03:20] Who have talk show with me,

[01:03:21] Merchandising,

[01:03:22] The very select people,

[01:03:23] Who have been even given access,

[01:03:25] To buy the talk show with me,

[01:03:26] Merchandise,

[01:03:27] But I've been doing marketing,

[01:03:28] And now everybody is asking like,

[01:03:30] I want this,

[01:03:31] I want this,

[01:03:31] Because,

[01:03:31] There's things,

[01:03:33] Certain people have,

[01:03:34] Different merch,

[01:03:35] And,

[01:03:36] I've been,

[01:03:37] I'm very good,

[01:03:38] At branding,

[01:03:39] And,

[01:03:39] I love merchandise,

[01:03:41] I love,

[01:03:42] Creating merchandise,

[01:03:44] And I've been,

[01:03:45] Working with different ideas,

[01:03:47] And playing around,

[01:03:48] And that's why,

[01:03:49] Anybody who has a talk show with me,

[01:03:51] Merch,

[01:03:52] Is like,

[01:03:52] A one of a kind,

[01:03:53] Talk show with me,

[01:03:54] Merch,

[01:03:54] Because it's not out there,

[01:03:55] Nobody has it,

[01:03:56] There are only select people,

[01:03:57] Who have it,

[01:03:58] So the Christmas boxes,

[01:04:00] Were for,

[01:04:01] Specific people,

[01:04:02] Who have been supporting,

[01:04:03] But never got,

[01:04:05] The,

[01:04:06] A merchandise,

[01:04:08] Ever,

[01:04:08] And I'm working with,

[01:04:10] Actually one of the guys,

[01:04:11] Who I met at Podcast Movement,

[01:04:13] Who helps independent podcasters,

[01:04:15] With merchandising,

[01:04:16] Connecting them,

[01:04:17] And helping them,

[01:04:18] Build this,

[01:04:19] And,

[01:04:19] All that to say that,

[01:04:21] You might,

[01:04:22] You were not on the list,

[01:04:23] But you might,

[01:04:24] Get,

[01:04:25] Because now that we know,

[01:04:26] You're December,

[01:04:27] Maybe,

[01:04:27] And shit,

[01:04:28] Like,

[01:04:29] I feel like,

[01:04:29] I might just as well,

[01:04:31] If I'm gonna give you a gift,

[01:04:33] Might as well give you,

[01:04:34] Talk shit with me,

[01:04:34] My Christmas box,

[01:04:37] But lastly,

[01:04:38] Why do people need to subscribe,

[01:04:40] To talk shit with me,

[01:04:41] Because hey,

[01:04:42] You know what,

[01:04:42] I can tell you,

[01:04:43] For myself,

[01:04:44] But it's better coming from you,

[01:04:46] Why do people need to tap in,

[01:04:48] With talk shit with me,

[01:04:49] For 2024,

[01:04:50] And 2025,

[01:04:52] Wait,

[01:04:52] I wanna hear what you would say,

[01:04:54] Why would,

[01:04:54] Why should people,

[01:04:55] From your,

[01:04:56] From your mouth,

[01:04:57] Why should people subscribe to that?

[01:04:59] The reason they need to subscribe,

[01:05:01] Is because,

[01:05:02] You are,

[01:05:03] You are full of energy,

[01:05:05] And listen,

[01:05:06] You're going to get something,

[01:05:07] You're gonna get a lesson,

[01:05:08] An amazing lesson,

[01:05:10] And that's why people need to subscribe,

[01:05:12] And plus,

[01:05:12] Why not?

[01:05:13] There's never a dope moment,

[01:05:14] In podcasting with you,

[01:05:16] Or,

[01:05:16] With you in person,

[01:05:17] So why not?

[01:05:18] Because you're always full of energy,

[01:05:20] So why not?

[01:05:21] There you go,

[01:05:22] Now,

[01:05:22] Your words.

[01:05:24] And that's it,

[01:05:25] Like,

[01:05:26] Why the fuck,

[01:05:26] No,

[01:05:26] Wouldn't you subscribe?

[01:05:27] But also,

[01:05:28] To be honest,

[01:05:29] I really don't give a fuck,

[01:05:30] If you subscribe or not,

[01:05:31] I'm not,

[01:05:32] I'm one of,

[01:05:34] I'm one of,

[01:05:34] Yes,

[01:05:37] I'm one of those podcasters,

[01:05:39] Who,

[01:05:40] I really don't give a fuck,

[01:05:42] About the numbers,

[01:05:43] And I don't care,

[01:05:44] Cause,

[01:05:45] If you subscribe or not,

[01:05:46] Cause people have this tendency,

[01:05:48] Of believing that,

[01:05:49] Cause you can subscribe,

[01:05:50] And not listen to it,

[01:05:51] And it's just,

[01:05:53] If you are,

[01:05:56] If you're in your creative journey,

[01:05:57] Cause I feel like,

[01:05:59] And I think the reason why,

[01:06:00] I ventured into that,

[01:06:02] We always look at people,

[01:06:03] And be like,

[01:06:04] And we compare ourselves,

[01:06:07] Or,

[01:06:08] Mismotivate ourselves,

[01:06:09] Because,

[01:06:10] We are only looking at somebody's story,

[01:06:12] Of where they are now,

[01:06:14] But you're missing out,

[01:06:16] On where they started from,

[01:06:18] To get there,

[01:06:19] And that's why,

[01:06:20] Creative journeys happen,

[01:06:22] Because,

[01:06:23] I want to,

[01:06:24] Motivate more people,

[01:06:26] Cause,

[01:06:27] I'm a paycheck,

[01:06:27] To paycheck bitch,

[01:06:28] So sometimes,

[01:06:29] We,

[01:06:29] We think that,

[01:06:30] You need to have,

[01:06:31] Trust fund,

[01:06:32] Or savings,

[01:06:33] Or all this money,

[01:06:33] To start something,

[01:06:35] And these stories,

[01:06:37] Help,

[01:06:38] Inspire,

[01:06:39] And motivate you,

[01:06:40] Cause,

[01:06:41] Just cause they're there now,

[01:06:42] They didn't just,

[01:06:43] Wake up,

[01:06:44] And get there,

[01:06:45] It took,

[01:06:47] Energy,

[01:06:47] It took work,

[01:06:48] It took sweat,

[01:06:49] It took,

[01:06:51] Discipline,

[01:06:51] It took,

[01:06:53] All that shit,

[01:06:54] To get there,

[01:06:55] And these stories,

[01:06:56] I'm hoping that,

[01:06:57] It does inspire,

[01:06:58] And motivate you,

[01:07:00] To keep going,

[01:07:01] Especially when,

[01:07:02] Cause the creative world,

[01:07:03] There are gonna be so many times,

[01:07:04] Where you wanna give up,

[01:07:05] Cause it's not an easy journey,

[01:07:07] So when you are in that space,

[01:07:09] Where you feel like,

[01:07:10] You wanna give up,

[01:07:11] These stories are there,

[01:07:12] To inspire you,

[01:07:13] To keep going,

[01:07:15] In order to be,

[01:07:16] Where those people,

[01:07:17] You admire are,

[01:07:19] And everybody's journey,

[01:07:21] Is different,

[01:07:21] And on the mental health,

[01:07:23] Aspect of it,

[01:07:25] Um,

[01:07:26] I feel like,

[01:07:27] Whether you speak on it,

[01:07:29] Or not,

[01:07:29] We are all dealing,

[01:07:30] With our mental health demons,

[01:07:32] Whether you know it or not,

[01:07:34] Be it anxiety,

[01:07:35] Be it depression,

[01:07:36] Whatever the fuck it is,

[01:07:38] And,

[01:07:38] Um,

[01:07:39] When you are,

[01:07:40] In the creative space,

[01:07:42] Your mental health,

[01:07:43] Is even more worse,

[01:07:45] Because,

[01:07:46] As we were talking about support,

[01:07:48] The people you expect to support you,

[01:07:49] Are not the ones who are gonna support you,

[01:07:51] It's a long journey,

[01:07:53] And that's why,

[01:07:53] We keep going to these conferences,

[01:07:55] And finding our people,

[01:07:56] Because the support is there,

[01:07:59] Our families get tired,

[01:08:00] Of hearing about your little podcast,

[01:08:02] Or your little shit,

[01:08:03] Hell yeah,

[01:08:04] And literally,

[01:08:05] To get a real job,

[01:08:06] Or you're wasting your time,

[01:08:07] Or this will never be anything,

[01:08:10] Your friends are not gonna buy,

[01:08:11] Your fucking merchandise,

[01:08:13] They're gonna want you,

[01:08:14] To give it to them for free,

[01:08:15] But they will spend,

[01:08:16] A thousand dollars,

[01:08:17] On a tariff,

[01:08:18] For a bug,

[01:08:18] Or whatever the fuck it is,

[01:08:20] They'll post beyond saying shit,

[01:08:22] But they won't post your shit,

[01:08:24] Hello,

[01:08:24] Because I don't care,

[01:08:25] I don't care if you don't listen to my podcast,

[01:08:27] All I care,

[01:08:28] Support comes in different ways,

[01:08:30] You can share it,

[01:08:31] And that's okay,

[01:08:32] Because not every podcast is for everybody,

[01:08:34] I don't fucking listen to,

[01:08:36] I don't listen to anybody's podcast,

[01:08:38] I don't listen to podcasts,

[01:08:39] I don't even listen to my own podcast,

[01:08:41] But,

[01:08:42] Once a month,

[01:08:48] I know I'm about to have you on,

[01:08:49] So I feel you all the way on there,

[01:08:51] Even when I'm having you on,

[01:08:53] I don't fucking listen to your podcast,

[01:08:54] Like,

[01:08:56] I do my research in different ways,

[01:08:58] I don't fucking listen to your podcast,

[01:09:00] I might go to look at the titles,

[01:09:01] Of your episodes,

[01:09:02] Or descriptions,

[01:09:03] To get an idea of what you talk about,

[01:09:05] But,

[01:09:07] Cause,

[01:09:07] To me,

[01:09:09] And that's why even when it came to asking for reviews,

[01:09:11] I was like,

[01:09:11] Why am I asking people for reviews,

[01:09:13] But I'm not giving reviews,

[01:09:14] So what I do is,

[01:09:15] Once a month,

[01:09:16] I haven't done it in a minute,

[01:09:17] Because I really haven't,

[01:09:18] I've been busy with conferences,

[01:09:20] And I haven't had time to listen to podcasts,

[01:09:22] And I have trash TV,

[01:09:23] So if I have to listen to a podcast,

[01:09:25] That's why now I'm taking away from my trash TV,

[01:09:27] I'm sorry,

[01:09:28] But,

[01:09:28] That's my cure for depression as well,

[01:09:32] But,

[01:09:32] I started doing something where once a month,

[01:09:35] I'd put up a post,

[01:09:36] And ask people to drop their favorite episode,

[01:09:38] I will listen and leave a review,

[01:09:41] That way I am supporting,

[01:09:43] And I'm doing what I'm preaching,

[01:09:45] Or asking,

[01:09:46] But,

[01:09:47] And again,

[01:09:47] Not everybody's gonna,

[01:09:48] Not every podcast you're supposed to listen,

[01:09:50] Or podcast is not your thing,

[01:09:52] But you can support by sharing it,

[01:09:54] Because just because it's not for you,

[01:09:57] You don't know that the people in your following,

[01:09:59] In your circle,

[01:10:00] It could be for them,

[01:10:02] And that's how it comes,

[01:10:03] So with the mental health,

[01:10:07] Stories part,

[01:10:08] Stories part,

[01:10:08] Is to help,

[01:10:09] Other creatives,

[01:10:11] Other creatives,

[01:10:39] And taking an orange,

[01:10:41] To put on your face,

[01:10:43] And taking an orange,

[01:10:43] Because the smell of the orange,

[01:10:45] In,

[01:10:46] With a cold shower,

[01:10:47] Helps your body relax,

[01:10:49] And give this,

[01:10:50] And I,

[01:10:50] I didn't know that,

[01:10:52] And it's coming on my podcast,

[01:10:53] To talk about that,

[01:10:54] So all this,

[01:10:55] You find where,

[01:10:56] Other tools,

[01:10:57] Because not everybody can afford therapy,

[01:10:59] Or not everybody wants to go into medication,

[01:11:01] I don't want to go to medication,

[01:11:02] I never want to take medication,

[01:11:04] But I know if it gets to a place,

[01:11:05] Where I need to,

[01:11:07] I'm going to do that,

[01:11:08] But if there are other resources,

[01:11:09] That people are doing,

[01:11:11] That are helping them,

[01:11:12] We get to have this conversation,

[01:11:14] And share that way,

[01:11:15] Somebody else can have,

[01:11:16] So all that to say that,

[01:11:18] If one of those two,

[01:11:20] Are what you need,

[01:11:21] Then subscribe,

[01:11:22] Otherwise,

[01:11:23] It's all good,

[01:11:24] I feel you on that,

[01:11:27] That's going to be the thing,

[01:11:28] For 2024,

[01:11:29] And 2025,

[01:11:30] But Paula,

[01:11:31] I want to thank you for,

[01:11:32] A blessing to liquor talk,

[01:11:33] With your presence,

[01:11:35] And Paula,

[01:11:35] Whenever you're ready to have me on,

[01:11:36] Remember,

[01:11:37] I might be in Florida,

[01:11:38] But I'm just one DM away,

[01:11:40] So when you want to bring me on,

[01:11:41] Your podcast,

[01:11:42] To talk some shit,

[01:11:43] Because Lord knows,

[01:11:44] I can talk some shit,

[01:11:45] So,

[01:11:45] When you're ready,

[01:11:46] We're definitely doing,

[01:11:47] And I feel like,

[01:11:49] When I,

[01:11:50] Go to Podfest this year,

[01:11:52] I,

[01:11:52] I want to do,

[01:11:54] Because it might be,

[01:11:57] It might be my last conference,

[01:11:59] I'm attending next year,

[01:12:00] Because,

[01:12:01] I'm planning on,

[01:12:02] On leaving America,

[01:12:05] That has been the talk lately,

[01:12:07] And people have a lot of questions,

[01:12:09] On that,

[01:12:09] So,

[01:12:09] If you want the answers about that,

[01:12:12] Come to Podfest,

[01:12:13] To my talk,

[01:12:14] And you will hear more on that,

[01:12:15] But,

[01:12:16] What I plan to do,

[01:12:17] When I go to Podfest,

[01:12:18] Is do a lot,

[01:12:21] In person,

[01:12:22] Tapings for 2025,

[01:12:24] And,

[01:12:25] So we are definitely,

[01:12:27] Even if you don't come to Podfest,

[01:12:29] By your in Florida,

[01:12:30] We can meet up,

[01:12:31] And do,

[01:12:31] I'm trying to get as many,

[01:12:33] In person,

[01:12:36] Episodes,

[01:12:37] For 2025,

[01:12:38] Um,

[01:12:39] We can definitely do that,

[01:12:40] Because my buddy has a studio,

[01:12:41] In Orlando,

[01:12:42] So we can definitely,

[01:12:43] Make that happen,

[01:12:44] So,

[01:12:44] We will definitely,

[01:12:45] Make that happen,

[01:12:46] Paula,

[01:12:46] Like I said,

[01:12:47] Thank you,

[01:12:47] And also,

[01:12:48] Go ahead,

[01:12:49] Reach out to me,

[01:12:49] We'll get you that,

[01:12:50] Podfest ticket,

[01:12:52] Alright,

[01:12:52] If you want to come,

[01:12:53] Yes,

[01:12:54] Bet,

[01:12:54] Bet,

[01:12:54] Bet,

[01:12:55] We definitely will,

[01:12:56] But thank you,

[01:12:56] Paula,

[01:12:57] For blessing,

[01:12:57] To look at talk,

[01:12:58] With your presence,

[01:12:59] Uh,

[01:12:59] Where can the people find you,

[01:13:02] Talk shit with people,

[01:13:03] And anywhere,

[01:13:05] Yes,

[01:13:06] Talk shit with people,

[01:13:07] Anywhere and everywhere,

[01:13:08] Thank you all,

[01:13:09] For tuning in to,

[01:13:09] Look at talk,

[01:13:10] Go ahead,

[01:13:10] Subscribe,

[01:13:11] If you have done so already,

[01:13:12] If you're not,

[01:13:13] If you do,

[01:13:13] Do not,

[01:13:14] Hey,

[01:13:14] Just take a shot for me,

[01:13:15] And we'll keep moving,

[01:13:17] Um,

[01:13:17] Until next episode,

[01:13:18] We're out this thing,

[01:13:19] Peace,

[01:13:19] Ladies and gentlemen,