On this episode of The Birth Seat, we dive deep into Black Maternal Health Week with powerful, real stories from two Black women in Delaware - one joyful, one painful. These firsthand experiences shine a light on the reality of birth for Black mothers and why change is urgent. Stay tuned as a maternal health expert joins the conversation to break down what needs to shift and how we can reclaim our power.
Every story matters. Every voice counts. This is about justice.
00:00:00 --> 00:00:06 [Music]
00:00:06 --> 00:00:09 hello everyone I'm your host MC McKenzie
00:00:09 --> 00:00:11 Welcome to the Birth Seed our heritage
00:00:11 --> 00:00:13 our legacy podcast dedicated to
00:00:13 --> 00:00:15 addressing the pressing issues of black
00:00:15 --> 00:00:18 maternal health exploring the stories
00:00:18 --> 00:00:20 the challenges and the triumphs of black
00:00:20 --> 00:00:23 mothers in Delaware and beyond On this
00:00:23 --> 00:00:25 podcast we dive into our heritage the
00:00:25 --> 00:00:27 systemic barriers we face and the legacy
00:00:27 --> 00:00:30 we aim to leave behind and we do so
00:00:30 --> 00:00:32 through heartfelt conversation right
00:00:32 --> 00:00:35 here on the bird seat Joining me for
00:00:35 --> 00:00:37 today's conversation on our episode we
00:00:37 --> 00:00:40 have Jennifer And please introduce
00:00:40 --> 00:00:42 yourself to the to our guests or I'm
00:00:42 --> 00:00:44 sorry introduce yourself to our audience
00:00:44 --> 00:00:48 Um I'm Jen I am a student midwife I'm a
00:00:48 --> 00:00:51 birth doula I am a doula trainer I'm a
00:00:51 --> 00:00:54 placenta specialist and a student
00:00:54 --> 00:00:57 clinical herbalist and a mother of six
00:00:57 --> 00:01:00 Wow You look you look amazing Oh thank
00:01:00 --> 00:01:04 you That's nice Mother of saint We going
00:01:04 --> 00:01:07 to talk about that later right
00:01:07 --> 00:01:09 ed please introduce yourself Hi I'm
00:01:09 --> 00:01:11 Taylor I'm here um I grew up right here
00:01:12 --> 00:01:13 in Delaware I'm a mother I'm just here
00:01:14 --> 00:01:17 to share my story Beautiful Thank you Hi
00:01:17 --> 00:01:20 my name is Shakita I am here I live from
00:01:20 --> 00:01:22 I'm from Delaware and I'm just here to
00:01:22 --> 00:01:25 share my birthing story
00:01:25 --> 00:01:27 Awesome Well ladies it's a pleasure
00:01:27 --> 00:01:30 having you You all look amazing and
00:01:30 --> 00:01:32 comfy
00:01:32 --> 00:01:33 That's what we do right here on the
00:01:33 --> 00:01:35 breast Get comfortable and get into our
00:01:35 --> 00:01:38 conversation Just dive right in So thank
00:01:38 --> 00:01:41 you so much for showing up All right So
00:01:41 --> 00:01:43 as you're all aware uh it's Black
00:01:43 --> 00:01:45 Maternal Health Week a time dedicated to
00:01:45 --> 00:01:47 shedding light on the disparities black
00:01:47 --> 00:01:50 women face in pregnancy birth and
00:01:50 --> 00:01:53 postpartum care while also celebrating
00:01:53 --> 00:01:55 our resilience our triumphs and our
00:01:55 --> 00:01:57 community
00:01:57 --> 00:02:00 strength Today we'll be learning
00:02:00 --> 00:02:03 firsthand from two beautiful black women
00:02:03 --> 00:02:04 in in Delaware that will be sharing
00:02:04 --> 00:02:07 their story And also we have a midwife
00:02:07 --> 00:02:09 Student student midwife right student
00:02:09 --> 00:02:11 midwife Student midwife Yeah So she has
00:02:11 --> 00:02:12 a lot of insight that she'll be sharing
00:02:12 --> 00:02:16 with us and um to just start off the
00:02:16 --> 00:02:18 conversation we will go to our beautiful
00:02:18 --> 00:02:21 guest that'll be sharing her story with
00:02:21 --> 00:02:24 us So um I understand you have a
00:02:24 --> 00:02:27 wonderful Burton story to share and uh
00:02:27 --> 00:02:29 you also have story to share with us
00:02:29 --> 00:02:31 right yes Thank you so much for coming
00:02:31 --> 00:02:33 We certainly do appreciate your presence
00:02:33 --> 00:02:35 and your time Um do you mind just going
00:02:35 --> 00:02:38 forward and just telling us um your
00:02:38 --> 00:02:40 pregnancy journey
00:02:40 --> 00:02:44 um so my pregnancy journey
00:02:44 --> 00:02:46 uh was a
00:02:46 --> 00:02:50 mixed mixed bag of nuts Um I was
00:02:50 --> 00:02:53 pregnant when I was 16 Um which ended in
00:02:54 --> 00:02:58 a miscarriage Um and when I turned 18 I
00:02:58 --> 00:03:00 was diligent about becoming a mother
00:03:00 --> 00:03:03 again And I've been
00:03:03 --> 00:03:07 through in vitro fertilization I've been
00:03:07 --> 00:03:09 through a lot of different things to try
00:03:09 --> 00:03:12 to get pregnant Um and it just didn't
00:03:12 --> 00:03:15 happen And when I got
00:03:15 --> 00:03:20 um when I turned 37 I just gave up on
00:03:20 --> 00:03:23 when I got a little bit older I had
00:03:23 --> 00:03:26 already given up on getting pregnant and
00:03:26 --> 00:03:29 it just happened I was already
00:03:29 --> 00:03:31 overweight which they said was caused me
00:03:31 --> 00:03:35 to be high risk Um I was also diagnosed
00:03:35 --> 00:03:37 as schizophrenic which they said made me
00:03:37 --> 00:03:41 higher risk and my age made me high risk
00:03:41 --> 00:03:44 which were all the things that I was
00:03:44 --> 00:03:47 like okay so this is going to be the
00:03:47 --> 00:03:49 journey So I did everything that I was
00:03:49 --> 00:03:52 told by my doctors to do I did
00:03:52 --> 00:03:53 everything
00:03:53 --> 00:03:56 that I knew and felt that was right to
00:03:56 --> 00:03:59 do I went to all my appointments and I
00:03:59 --> 00:04:02 ate healthy I drank a lot of
00:04:03 --> 00:04:07 water Um a typical happy pregnancy Went
00:04:07 --> 00:04:11 through the gender reveal went through
00:04:11 --> 00:04:13 the
00:04:13 --> 00:04:15 um a huge baby
00:04:15 --> 00:04:21 shower and the day I turned 9
00:04:21 --> 00:04:24 months I woke up my stomach was tight
00:04:24 --> 00:04:27 and I'm like "Okay shalom." That was my
00:04:27 --> 00:04:29 son's name
00:04:29 --> 00:04:32 Is today the day you ready to come we're
00:04:32 --> 00:04:37 kind of tight in there So um I got up
00:04:37 --> 00:04:40 did my morning routine I'm like okay
00:04:40 --> 00:04:43 still tight So I'm thinking maybe these
00:04:43 --> 00:04:46 this is the start of contractions but I
00:04:46 --> 00:04:48 didn't really feel any
00:04:48 --> 00:04:52 pain So as the day went on and the day
00:04:52 --> 00:04:54 progressed I just kept doing my normal
00:04:54 --> 00:04:58 routine It wasn't until like I had
00:04:58 --> 00:05:01 talking to my doula later that evening
00:05:01 --> 00:05:03 she asked me where I was She was just
00:05:03 --> 00:05:06 checking on me and I told her I was in
00:05:06 --> 00:05:07 the house I wasn't feeling any
00:05:07 --> 00:05:11 contractions yet Um because we were
00:05:11 --> 00:05:14 leading up It was just a normal routine
00:05:14 --> 00:05:18 check Something kicked in at about 10:00
00:05:18 --> 00:05:22 that night on the 26th of
00:05:22 --> 00:05:24 October Something kicked in It was like
00:05:24 --> 00:05:26 "Wait a minute You haven't felt your son
00:05:26 --> 00:05:30 move all day long I haven't felt a kick
00:05:30 --> 00:05:32 I haven't felt a move I haven't felt a
00:05:32 --> 00:05:37 gas bubble Like what's going on so me
00:05:37 --> 00:05:40 being the typical mom of every time
00:05:40 --> 00:05:42 something went wrong I or I felt as
00:05:42 --> 00:05:44 though something was wrong my ankles
00:05:44 --> 00:05:47 were swollen doctors
00:05:47 --> 00:05:50 Um I got pain in my knee a pain in my
00:05:50 --> 00:05:54 back doctors like the
00:05:54 --> 00:05:57 typical "Oh she's the first time mom is
00:05:57 --> 00:06:01 what everybody pushed it off as."
00:06:01 --> 00:06:04 So 10:00 I'm like "Okay I haven't felt
00:06:04 --> 00:06:07 them." They do they tell you to do this
00:06:07 --> 00:06:10 thing where you sit for 2 hours you eat
00:06:10 --> 00:06:13 something sugar you drink something cold
00:06:13 --> 00:06:14 and you just take time you turn
00:06:14 --> 00:06:18 everything off no music no TV You just
00:06:18 --> 00:06:20 take time to concentrate and meditate on
00:06:20 --> 00:06:23 your baby You feel like you and my
00:06:23 --> 00:06:26 placenta was in the front So it wasn't
00:06:26 --> 00:06:29 abnormal for it to be a long period
00:06:29 --> 00:06:30 without me feeling him cuz even if he
00:06:31 --> 00:06:33 kicked I sometimes I couldn't feel it
00:06:33 --> 00:06:34 over my
00:06:34 --> 00:06:36 placenta
00:06:36 --> 00:06:40 So I just meditated for 2 hours and I
00:06:40 --> 00:06:43 didn't I moved tried to push him around
00:06:43 --> 00:06:44 and all of
00:06:44 --> 00:06:49 that Nothing So I went to the doctors
00:06:49 --> 00:06:51 called the ambulance I asked them to
00:06:51 --> 00:06:53 take me to my
00:06:53 --> 00:06:57 doctor No they took me s to another
00:06:57 --> 00:07:01 hospital And when I got to the hospital
00:07:01 --> 00:07:05 they monitored me Hold on I'm sorry So
00:07:05 --> 00:07:07 you had a specific hospital or doctor
00:07:08 --> 00:07:09 you wanted to see but the ambulance took
00:07:09 --> 00:07:14 you to a different hospital yes Okay I
00:07:14 --> 00:07:16 just wanted to clarify that Thank you
00:07:16 --> 00:07:19 Yes So I was taken to a different
00:07:19 --> 00:07:22 hospital I was basically badgered to go
00:07:22 --> 00:07:26 there Like I had discussed with them I
00:07:26 --> 00:07:28 need to go there
00:07:28 --> 00:07:31 Um it was an ambulance and the fire
00:07:31 --> 00:07:33 department and they were like by time we
00:07:33 --> 00:07:35 get there you can be on the
00:07:35 --> 00:07:37 monitoriization It's probably not
00:07:37 --> 00:07:39 anything You're not feeling pain You're
00:07:39 --> 00:07:41 probably not in labor It's you got time
00:07:41 --> 00:07:43 to go to your doctor if you need to Once
00:07:43 --> 00:07:45 I got to the hospital that they
00:07:45 --> 00:07:46 recommended because I'm not trying to
00:07:46 --> 00:07:48 argue I don't want to be stressed I know
00:07:48 --> 00:07:50 that that can cause
00:07:50 --> 00:07:54 issues I get there they immediately put
00:07:54 --> 00:07:56 me on the monorization What I didn't
00:07:56 --> 00:07:58 realize at the time now looking
00:07:58 --> 00:08:01 hindsight backwards I was the only
00:08:01 --> 00:08:04 female in that hospital for birth that
00:08:04 --> 00:08:09 whole entire night Mhm
00:08:09 --> 00:08:11 one female on October
00:08:11 --> 00:08:15 27th 2024 The only female there to give
00:08:15 --> 00:08:19 birth by myself all
00:08:19 --> 00:08:22 night They're checking on me Are you
00:08:22 --> 00:08:24 okay would you like anything you want
00:08:24 --> 00:08:26 some juice you want some water just like
00:08:26 --> 00:08:30 "Okay well maybe everything's fine."
00:08:30 --> 00:08:33 They're like "Well we need you to sit on
00:08:33 --> 00:08:35 your knees and face the top of the bed
00:08:35 --> 00:08:39 and well he's having dels but so that
00:08:39 --> 00:08:40 means that we need to just monitor his
00:08:40 --> 00:08:43 heartbeat so that he can I'm like "Okay
00:08:43 --> 00:08:44 dails I don't know what that means We're
00:08:44 --> 00:08:46 just going to keep going on with the
00:08:46 --> 00:08:47 process." So I'm going to do what you
00:08:47 --> 00:08:49 say You're a doctor And I'm going to get
00:08:49 --> 00:08:51 on my knees and put my hands up and see
00:08:51 --> 00:08:53 if you hear the heartbeat this way I'm
00:08:53 --> 00:08:55 going to turn to my left turn to my
00:08:55 --> 00:08:58 right Okay Now this is getting redundant
00:08:58 --> 00:09:01 Like why am I turning in all these
00:09:01 --> 00:09:02 different directions is there something
00:09:02 --> 00:09:05 that you need to tell me no what we're
00:09:05 --> 00:09:08 going to do is do a ultrasound to see if
00:09:08 --> 00:09:11 we can see baby better And maybe we can
00:09:11 --> 00:09:14 monitor him that way And that was 3
00:09:14 --> 00:09:17 hours after me getting there There they
00:09:17 --> 00:09:18 did the
00:09:18 --> 00:09:20 ultrasound Once I got the ultrasound
00:09:20 --> 00:09:22 done
00:09:22 --> 00:09:24 um I've been getting ultrasounds the
00:09:24 --> 00:09:28 whole time and throughout my pregnancy
00:09:28 --> 00:09:30 and because I was high risk they did
00:09:30 --> 00:09:33 extra monitor monitoring so I'm used to
00:09:33 --> 00:09:37 the ultrasounds So I'm like "Okay we'll
00:09:37 --> 00:09:40 do them the ultrasound No big deal."
00:09:40 --> 00:09:42 Well this one's a
00:09:42 --> 00:09:45 test Okay baby Your first test Let's see
00:09:45 --> 00:09:48 what you get You're going to get a a B
00:09:48 --> 00:09:49 I'm just like joking the whole time I
00:09:50 --> 00:09:52 call my sister Well we're about to do a
00:09:52 --> 00:09:54 ultrasound You haven't really been able
00:09:54 --> 00:09:56 to see him through the ultrasound You
00:09:56 --> 00:09:58 want to come down and maybe progress
00:09:58 --> 00:10:00 into something i'm waking my sister up
00:10:00 --> 00:10:02 at 4:00 in the morning She's like "Girl
00:10:02 --> 00:10:04 I'm on my way." My sister gets there
00:10:04 --> 00:10:07 before before the ultrasound tech gets
00:10:07 --> 00:10:09 there And we sitting there when the
00:10:09 --> 00:10:11 ultrasound
00:10:11 --> 00:10:14 starts He's like "Okay
00:10:14 --> 00:10:18 well he's not
00:10:18 --> 00:10:21 uh it was just a lot of technical
00:10:21 --> 00:10:25 terms." A lot of technical terms And not
00:10:25 --> 00:10:27 being a person from medical school I'm a
00:10:27 --> 00:10:30 traveling hair stylist First off I'm not
00:10:30 --> 00:10:33 stupid because I graduated at the age of
00:10:33 --> 00:10:36 16 from high school I went to high
00:10:36 --> 00:10:40 school I went to JobCore graduated at 18
00:10:40 --> 00:10:41 from the same school Within a year I
00:10:41 --> 00:10:45 graduated the program went from there to
00:10:45 --> 00:10:47 hair school I have multiple different
00:10:47 --> 00:10:49 certifications and graduations under my
00:10:49 --> 00:10:51 belt I am nowhere near stupid But when
00:10:51 --> 00:10:54 it comes to medical terminology if
00:10:54 --> 00:10:56 you're not educated in the direct
00:10:56 --> 00:10:58 terminology you're not going to know
00:10:58 --> 00:11:03 what's going on Which is why I wanted a
00:11:03 --> 00:11:07 doula Got a doula I was calling
00:11:07 --> 00:11:11 texting Doulas get really tired when
00:11:11 --> 00:11:12 you're doing a lot of
00:11:13 --> 00:11:17 births Didn't think anything was really
00:11:17 --> 00:11:21 major Long story short he
00:11:21 --> 00:11:25 fails Fails his first test Okay son
00:11:25 --> 00:11:28 What's going on now i'm starting to get
00:11:28 --> 00:11:30 worried
00:11:30 --> 00:11:33 Well he it's basically
00:11:33 --> 00:11:36 50/50% of what he should have got It's
00:11:36 --> 00:11:39 like eight a score of eight He got a
00:11:39 --> 00:11:42 score of four I still can't tell you all
00:11:42 --> 00:11:45 of the terminology that they wanted at
00:11:45 --> 00:11:49 the time something about his muscle mass
00:11:49 --> 00:11:51 his breathing ma breathing on his own
00:11:52 --> 00:11:54 practice breathing all the things that a
00:11:54 --> 00:11:55 week
00:11:55 --> 00:11:58 before He had passed these tests but I
00:11:58 --> 00:11:59 didn't know that they were tests that
00:11:59 --> 00:12:02 they were doing just
00:12:02 --> 00:12:04 monitoriizations but he had passed the
00:12:04 --> 00:12:07 previous one the week
00:12:07 --> 00:12:11 before So I'm like "Okay he failed Y'all
00:12:11 --> 00:12:13 have me doing all this movement." Now he
00:12:13 --> 00:12:15 just telling me he failed the ultrasound
00:12:15 --> 00:12:19 So what's going on well mom
00:12:19 --> 00:12:21 um now we're going to check and see if
00:12:21 --> 00:12:23 he can tolerate you getting ptocin in
00:12:24 --> 00:12:26 order for us to induce your pregnancy or
00:12:26 --> 00:12:28 if he's going to handle that well We may
00:12:28 --> 00:12:30 have to induce you or we may have to
00:12:30 --> 00:12:31 give you a
00:12:31 --> 00:12:35 C-section from 4:00 They didn't decide
00:12:35 --> 00:12:39 to do the ultrasound until 9:00 in the
00:12:39 --> 00:12:46 morning My son wasn't born until 9:37
00:12:46 --> 00:12:48 My son was
00:12:48 --> 00:12:50 born My son was
00:12:50 --> 00:12:54 breathing My son was
00:12:54 --> 00:12:58 crying I passed out from the
00:12:58 --> 00:13:01 anesthesia When you're getting a
00:13:01 --> 00:13:03 C-section you're only supposed to be
00:13:03 --> 00:13:07 numb from your waist down When they gave
00:13:07 --> 00:13:08 me the
00:13:08 --> 00:13:10 anesthesia it took them four times to
00:13:10 --> 00:13:14 even put the needle in my back
00:13:14 --> 00:13:19 That was one trying to stay
00:13:19 --> 00:13:23 still Two when you gave me the
00:13:23 --> 00:13:26 medicine I was given an amount that made
00:13:26 --> 00:13:31 my whole body numb When I say numb I
00:13:31 --> 00:13:33 couldn't even position myself enough on
00:13:33 --> 00:13:36 the bed to lay down I had to be assisted
00:13:36 --> 00:13:39 by multiple people to get in position to
00:13:39 --> 00:13:42 even get the C-section done When I got
00:13:42 --> 00:13:44 in position before they could bring my
00:13:44 --> 00:13:45 mom
00:13:45 --> 00:13:48 in I'm trying to like talk I could
00:13:48 --> 00:13:51 barely talk because there was mucus
00:13:51 --> 00:13:53 building up in my mouth where I was
00:13:53 --> 00:13:55 choking When my mom walked in the room
00:13:55 --> 00:13:57 she's like she's trying to say something
00:13:57 --> 00:14:00 There's something in her throat Like I'm
00:14:00 --> 00:14:01 trying to cough it up I can't Like my
00:14:02 --> 00:14:07 muscles in my neck were to the point
00:14:07 --> 00:14:10 where it was hard Like I felt like I was
00:14:10 --> 00:14:11 aspirating
00:14:11 --> 00:14:14 If anyone like aspirating is when you
00:14:14 --> 00:14:16 try to swallow but you can't swallow it
00:14:16 --> 00:14:18 You try to bring it up but you can't
00:14:18 --> 00:14:20 bring it up It happens to a lot of older
00:14:20 --> 00:14:23 people or people who are parapilgic or
00:14:23 --> 00:14:25 people who
00:14:25 --> 00:14:27 um get into really bad car accidents
00:14:28 --> 00:14:31 People who have who have no control of
00:14:31 --> 00:14:33 their like they're paralyzed from the
00:14:33 --> 00:14:36 neck down I was literally I felt like I
00:14:36 --> 00:14:38 was paralyzed from the neck
00:14:38 --> 00:14:44 down That was even before they cut me
00:14:44 --> 00:14:48 open Once I got on the table I'm like
00:14:48 --> 00:14:50 "Mom where's my phone?" That was the
00:14:50 --> 00:14:53 first thing that I asked
00:14:53 --> 00:14:56 her She leaves the room She goes to get
00:14:56 --> 00:14:59 my phone when I don't remember my mom
00:14:59 --> 00:15:02 coming back in the room with my
00:15:02 --> 00:15:05 phone They told me that I was told that
00:15:05 --> 00:15:09 the medicine wasn't going to make
00:15:09 --> 00:15:12 me non unccoherent That was the reason
00:15:12 --> 00:15:14 that I was able to have a person in the
00:15:14 --> 00:15:17 room with me so that they could be there
00:15:17 --> 00:15:19 They could we could have conversation
00:15:19 --> 00:15:21 They would keep me
00:15:21 --> 00:15:25 calm Okay I don't remember anything
00:15:25 --> 00:15:28 besides hearing him cry passing out
00:15:28 --> 00:15:30 waking up
00:15:30 --> 00:15:35 again Was a lot going on during the
00:15:35 --> 00:15:38 time I remember
00:15:38 --> 00:15:40 now what I
00:15:40 --> 00:15:43 recorded in the room I remember hearing
00:15:43 --> 00:15:45 my son
00:15:45 --> 00:15:49 cry That's about it I woke up I'm
00:15:49 --> 00:15:52 hearing there's a sponge inside of her
00:15:52 --> 00:15:55 They had to do an X-ray While that I was
00:15:55 --> 00:15:58 still on the table I didn't get off the
00:15:58 --> 00:16:01 table until 12 something almost 1:00 in
00:16:01 --> 00:16:03 the
00:16:03 --> 00:16:06 afternoon Long story
00:16:06 --> 00:16:09 short my son was breathing when he came
00:16:09 --> 00:16:14 out He was alive for 57 minutes I was
00:16:14 --> 00:16:16 with them doing work on
00:16:16 --> 00:16:20 them and I came
00:16:20 --> 00:16:23 home with a bear that said peace on it
00:16:24 --> 00:16:26 My son's name was originally supposed to
00:16:26 --> 00:16:30 be Shalom Mayer Matthews which it is on
00:16:30 --> 00:16:32 all of his
00:16:32 --> 00:16:36 paperwork I just felt like the
00:16:36 --> 00:16:39 bear with the name peace on
00:16:39 --> 00:16:42 it was like a play and it was like a
00:16:42 --> 00:16:44 stab to the to the back on top of
00:16:44 --> 00:16:46 everything else happening
00:16:46 --> 00:16:51 But that's what I went home with a peace
00:16:51 --> 00:16:55 bear So that was my birthing
00:16:55 --> 00:16:58 story Sorry you guys that was kind of
00:16:58 --> 00:17:02 heavy but it's okay It's okay It's a
00:17:02 --> 00:17:04 challenging one Um
00:17:04 --> 00:17:06 yes very challenging Just glad you were
00:17:06 --> 00:17:09 able to pull through and just be here
00:17:09 --> 00:17:12 today to tell your story So definitely
00:17:12 --> 00:17:13 commend you Thank you for allowing me to
00:17:13 --> 00:17:18 be here to spread to spread my story
00:17:18 --> 00:17:20 story as information so that
00:17:20 --> 00:17:23 everybody can know what's going on in
00:17:23 --> 00:17:27 the system what's happening to us as
00:17:27 --> 00:17:30 women If we're more educated we have
00:17:30 --> 00:17:32 people by our side that can help us and
00:17:32 --> 00:17:34 assist us during these
00:17:34 --> 00:17:37 processes I think we can make the health
00:17:37 --> 00:17:41 care system a much better place Mhm
00:17:41 --> 00:17:42 That's right
00:17:42 --> 00:17:44 Women are going through these
00:17:44 --> 00:17:46 experiences We want to be mothers We
00:17:46 --> 00:17:48 want to be nurturing My
00:17:48 --> 00:17:52 son was set for the first 3 years of his
00:17:52 --> 00:17:55 life if he had made it home When I say
00:17:55 --> 00:17:58 he everything was set up I still to this
00:17:58 --> 00:18:02 day I'm still donating things little by
00:18:02 --> 00:18:07 little It is now March This all happened
00:18:07 --> 00:18:10 in April of I mean October of last year
00:18:10 --> 00:18:13 It's March It was hard to to part with
00:18:13 --> 00:18:16 anything but he had so much stuff I've
00:18:16 --> 00:18:19 been donating it So if ladies if you
00:18:19 --> 00:18:22 know anyone who needs crib a crib or
00:18:22 --> 00:18:24 it's a few more things I'll let Chen
00:18:24 --> 00:18:29 know what I still have Um
00:18:30 --> 00:18:39 but yeah Okay Can I give you a hug yes
00:18:39 --> 00:18:41 Thank you for sharing
00:18:41 --> 00:18:52 Thank you for telling your story
00:18:52 --> 00:18:54 I would hug you but I don't want to cry
00:18:54 --> 00:18:57 too much And I'm sorry It's okay But
00:18:57 --> 00:18:59 thank you for sharing I appreciate it
00:18:59 --> 00:19:02 Thank Yeah But before me to have went
00:19:02 --> 00:19:06 through so much to get pregnant Yeah
00:19:06 --> 00:19:09 and then to get
00:19:09 --> 00:19:12 pregnant and all of this to happen Like
00:19:12 --> 00:19:16 I really was excited Like my family was
00:19:16 --> 00:19:19 excited I'm 37 I have a brother who has
00:19:19 --> 00:19:21 nine kids I have a brother who has three
00:19:21 --> 00:19:25 kids My son was number 12
00:19:25 --> 00:19:27 Like and that was a big thing cuz our
00:19:27 --> 00:19:29 last name is Matthews the 12 disciples
00:19:29 --> 00:19:33 He was the 12th So his name was Shalom
00:19:33 --> 00:19:35 which meant peace He was here He brought
00:19:35 --> 00:19:37 me peace Like I'm diagnosed
00:19:37 --> 00:19:40 schizophrenic but I didn't have to take
00:19:40 --> 00:19:42 medicine through majority of my
00:19:42 --> 00:19:46 pregnancy Like they felt as though
00:19:46 --> 00:19:47 during the end because I was going to
00:19:48 --> 00:19:51 transition into postpartum or whatever
00:19:51 --> 00:19:53 could have happened They put me on low
00:19:53 --> 00:19:56 doses of what I should have been on or
00:19:56 --> 00:19:58 if I was going to breastfeed in order to
00:19:58 --> 00:20:01 try to coax me into that part of the
00:20:01 --> 00:20:05 journey Mhm But no episodes no pneumanic
00:20:05 --> 00:20:07 episodes during my pregnancy despite not
00:20:07 --> 00:20:10 being on medication And so his name
00:20:10 --> 00:20:13 meant a lot to me Shalom may my company
00:20:13 --> 00:20:16 name is Skills for Skulls Mayer means
00:20:16 --> 00:20:18 skilled one
00:20:18 --> 00:20:20 So my peaceful skilled one little boys
00:20:20 --> 00:20:23 are into everything
00:20:23 --> 00:20:26 So I was geared towards trying to have
00:20:26 --> 00:20:28 him skilled at something
00:20:28 --> 00:20:31 whatever he touched everything I've
00:20:31 --> 00:20:33 touched I've been able to be blessed to
00:20:34 --> 00:20:36 be able to handle the things that I've
00:20:36 --> 00:20:37 been blessed
00:20:37 --> 00:20:41 with And I just
00:20:41 --> 00:20:45 knew if you as a mom you you plan out
00:20:45 --> 00:20:49 certain things for your kids or what you
00:20:49 --> 00:20:51 want to see them do
00:20:51 --> 00:20:54 or how you want to
00:20:54 --> 00:20:56 see little bikes
00:20:56 --> 00:21:00 or little His room was decorated in a
00:21:00 --> 00:21:05 space theme with the the aurora and the
00:21:05 --> 00:21:07 stars
00:21:07 --> 00:21:11 And that still plays over
00:21:11 --> 00:21:14 his crib which is one of the last things
00:21:14 --> 00:21:19 that I have in his
00:21:19 --> 00:21:23 room And little baseball that everybody
00:21:23 --> 00:21:24 had
00:21:24 --> 00:21:28 signed It was a S and an M for Shalom
00:21:28 --> 00:21:32 Mayer And it has little baseballs on it
00:21:32 --> 00:21:34 that everybody had
00:21:34 --> 00:21:36 signed because I wanted the baseball is
00:21:36 --> 00:21:38 the highest paying sport I was going to
00:21:38 --> 00:21:43 have them train You know science is one
00:21:43 --> 00:21:45 of the best things
00:21:45 --> 00:21:49 that you could be in Yeah As far as
00:21:49 --> 00:21:53 education wise that's right
00:21:53 --> 00:21:57 Yeah But I just feel
00:21:57 --> 00:22:00 like I want to build a
00:22:00 --> 00:22:02 foundation I've already started slogans
00:22:02 --> 00:22:05 of bring shalom home which means peace
00:22:05 --> 00:22:08 Yes ma'am And I want to work with like
00:22:08 --> 00:22:10 doulas My grandmother was a doula a
00:22:10 --> 00:22:12 midwife She's actually in the history
00:22:12 --> 00:22:14 museum in
00:22:14 --> 00:22:15 Alabama
00:22:15 --> 00:22:19 because the mortality rate of her
00:22:19 --> 00:22:23 walking her was so low Like I think she
00:22:23 --> 00:22:25 may have had one or two deaths out of
00:22:25 --> 00:22:27 years
00:22:27 --> 00:22:29 of her being a
00:22:29 --> 00:22:34 midwife Her name was Alice Johnson
00:22:34 --> 00:22:38 A L I S E Johnson
00:22:38 --> 00:22:40 and her clothes are
00:22:40 --> 00:22:42 in the history
00:22:42 --> 00:22:45 museum from being pristine white from
00:22:45 --> 00:22:48 them every birthing that she went
00:22:48 --> 00:22:51 through she still had pristine white
00:22:51 --> 00:22:53 garments of how she took care of her
00:22:53 --> 00:22:55 clients
00:22:55 --> 00:22:59 Um I want to work with doulas and
00:22:59 --> 00:23:03 midwives to make other women's
00:23:03 --> 00:23:06 experience better so they can bring
00:23:06 --> 00:23:10 their shalom home their peace home
00:23:10 --> 00:23:12 Yeah But thank you for letting me share
00:23:12 --> 00:23:15 my stories later For sure Thank you so
00:23:15 --> 00:23:17 much So um having been through all of
00:23:17 --> 00:23:21 this I know it's definitely um a burden
00:23:21 --> 00:23:26 Um just for me I went through IVF and I
00:23:26 --> 00:23:28 know you talked about that um a little
00:23:28 --> 00:23:31 bit going through it too Uh no I mean I
00:23:31 --> 00:23:34 can only imagine that whole process and
00:23:34 --> 00:23:36 um actually finding out that you got
00:23:36 --> 00:23:39 pregnant and then just losing I remember
00:23:39 --> 00:23:41 like even when I was going through my
00:23:41 --> 00:23:45 IVF um there were um you know there was
00:23:45 --> 00:23:48 when I did my transfer I transferred two
00:23:48 --> 00:23:51 embryos and um I'm sorry excuse me It
00:23:51 --> 00:23:54 wasn't IVF It was clad treatment
00:23:54 --> 00:23:55 infertility treatment that I went
00:23:55 --> 00:23:58 through Okay I apologize That's okay
00:23:58 --> 00:23:59 That's okay Thank you for clarifying
00:23:59 --> 00:24:02 that But I went through IVF So but in
00:24:02 --> 00:24:05 the process of you know my um just doing
00:24:05 --> 00:24:07 the transfer and just finding out if I
00:24:07 --> 00:24:08 was pregnant initially when I went for
00:24:08 --> 00:24:11 my first appointment the doctors like
00:24:11 --> 00:24:13 checked my blood work and assured me
00:24:13 --> 00:24:16 that the two transfers were there Um my
00:24:16 --> 00:24:18 hormones everything numbers that they
00:24:18 --> 00:24:20 needed that needed to see to make sure
00:24:20 --> 00:24:24 that both embers were uh making it were
00:24:24 --> 00:24:26 up to par even exceeded the numbers they
00:24:26 --> 00:24:27 were expecting But as I kept going
00:24:28 --> 00:24:31 through my um ultrasound I was advised
00:24:31 --> 00:24:33 one wasn't there The first thing she
00:24:33 --> 00:24:34 told me she was like "Oh well maybe the
00:24:34 --> 00:24:36 other baby is like hiding behind the
00:24:36 --> 00:24:37 other one." And um you know I'm like
00:24:38 --> 00:24:39 "Okay hopeful." But you know I could
00:24:40 --> 00:24:42 just remember the sleepless night um and
00:24:42 --> 00:24:44 the hope the
00:24:44 --> 00:24:47 prayer crying you know what I'm saying
00:24:47 --> 00:24:49 and then you know finally finding out
00:24:49 --> 00:24:50 that one didn't make it but at least one
00:24:50 --> 00:24:53 made it But um you know just your
00:24:53 --> 00:24:57 stories definitely the touching and
00:24:57 --> 00:25:00 challenging So down to the day of ninth
00:25:00 --> 00:25:02 month like to know we made it all the
00:25:02 --> 00:25:06 way like to that point Yeah Yeah For
00:25:06 --> 00:25:08 sure So how have you been u managing and
00:25:08 --> 00:25:10 coping with emotional mental and
00:25:10 --> 00:25:12 physical challenges after going through
00:25:12 --> 00:25:17 this uh immense um loss or tragedy if I
00:25:17 --> 00:25:21 may say
00:25:21 --> 00:25:25 um with the help of first of all God has
00:25:25 --> 00:25:30 been keeping me spiritual music my
00:25:30 --> 00:25:33 family prayer
00:25:33 --> 00:25:36 um the love and support of those who
00:25:36 --> 00:25:38 were close to me Like there was an
00:25:38 --> 00:25:41 outpour of people from Facebook like
00:25:41 --> 00:25:43 when I was in the
00:25:43 --> 00:25:48 hospital Oh not to mention not even I
00:25:48 --> 00:25:49 didn't even mention this part because it
00:25:50 --> 00:25:53 was so much I had a hematoma after the
00:25:53 --> 00:25:56 C-section Women go through so much after
00:25:56 --> 00:25:58 C-section
00:25:58 --> 00:26:01 The birthing story was one thing but the
00:26:01 --> 00:26:05 aftermath of what our bodies go through
00:26:05 --> 00:26:09 to be nicked meaning to be cut I had a
00:26:09 --> 00:26:12 hematoma is an internal slow
00:26:12 --> 00:26:16 bleed I had to have a bag on me that
00:26:16 --> 00:26:18 drained the blood
00:26:18 --> 00:26:21 for weeks and weeks and I had
00:26:21 --> 00:26:27 to to give myself injections for blood
00:26:27 --> 00:26:31 thinners and it was traumatic every time
00:26:32 --> 00:26:33 I had to do it and I had to do it twice
00:26:33 --> 00:26:35 a day
00:26:35 --> 00:26:39 Then then the pain medication ran out I
00:26:39 --> 00:26:40 didn't even
00:26:40 --> 00:26:44 realize that the hematoma wasn't
00:26:44 --> 00:26:46 shrinking until I ran out of pain
00:26:47 --> 00:26:50 medication and I was buckled over in
00:26:50 --> 00:26:52 pain to the point where I called the
00:26:52 --> 00:26:54 ambulance
00:26:54 --> 00:26:58 again These these
00:26:58 --> 00:27:01 people had me
00:27:01 --> 00:27:04 crawling to the ambulance I had to crawl
00:27:04 --> 00:27:06 up the steps into the
00:27:06 --> 00:27:09 ambulance and they looking at me
00:27:09 --> 00:27:12 like like I'm a junkie Like no offense
00:27:12 --> 00:27:14 to people who go through
00:27:14 --> 00:27:17 addictions but to know that you're in
00:27:17 --> 00:27:19 that much pain and you actually need
00:27:19 --> 00:27:20 medication
00:27:20 --> 00:27:23 and it wasn't and if it wasn't for and I
00:27:23 --> 00:27:24 thank God for running out of the
00:27:24 --> 00:27:26 medication to know that there was
00:27:26 --> 00:27:29 something wrong Yeah Because the
00:27:29 --> 00:27:35 hematoma had doubled in size
00:27:35 --> 00:27:38 not slowed down like they said It
00:27:38 --> 00:27:42 doubled in size from 4.6 to 11 It was
00:27:42 --> 00:27:44 like a whole another baby was inside of
00:27:44 --> 00:27:46 me 11
00:27:46 --> 00:27:51 cm one direction 10 cm another
00:27:51 --> 00:27:56 direction sitting in my belly
00:27:56 --> 00:27:59 Okay we get past that after being
00:27:59 --> 00:28:04 hospitalized again for another two
00:28:04 --> 00:28:07 weeks Then there's the arguments for the
00:28:07 --> 00:28:09 fallout from
00:28:09 --> 00:28:12 family You have families arguing
00:28:13 --> 00:28:16 because my mom still can't walk into my
00:28:16 --> 00:28:19 house to this day because she's
00:28:19 --> 00:28:22 traumatized because my son's everything
00:28:22 --> 00:28:23 was set
00:28:23 --> 00:28:25 up There was somewhere for him to lay
00:28:25 --> 00:28:29 from a play pen to a there was a play
00:28:29 --> 00:28:31 pen a bassinet in another room the crib
00:28:31 --> 00:28:34 in another room Every room there was
00:28:34 --> 00:28:36 something set up for him to be
00:28:36 --> 00:28:38 comfortable
00:28:38 --> 00:28:40 She furnished my living room my kitchen
00:28:40 --> 00:28:44 It was like her second chance to be
00:28:44 --> 00:28:46 grandparents That's their second chance
00:28:46 --> 00:28:48 to get it right what they couldn't get
00:28:48 --> 00:28:50 right with their children And me and my
00:28:50 --> 00:28:52 mom was in foster care We had a
00:28:52 --> 00:28:55 traumatic childhood
00:28:55 --> 00:28:58 I was taken from her So for her for me
00:28:58 --> 00:29:03 to be at 37 finally giving a
00:29:03 --> 00:29:07 child it was a traumatic loss Yeah Not
00:29:07 --> 00:29:10 only for myself but for my mom I still
00:29:10 --> 00:29:13 have people call me or look at me like I
00:29:13 --> 00:29:15 might smile They may see me smiling on
00:29:15 --> 00:29:17 Facebook but they like "Girl how you
00:29:17 --> 00:29:20 doing it?" Listen it's day by day
00:29:20 --> 00:29:23 Sometimes it's hour by hour Sometimes
00:29:23 --> 00:29:25 it's minute by minute Literally
00:29:25 --> 00:29:27 sometimes it's a phone call just to sit
00:29:27 --> 00:29:29 on the phone with me Like we ain't got
00:29:29 --> 00:29:31 to say nothing Just sit on the phone
00:29:31 --> 00:29:33 with me so I don't have to be alone
00:29:33 --> 00:29:35 That's right Because you don't know
00:29:35 --> 00:29:38 what's going through people's
00:29:38 --> 00:29:41 heads When you lose something you just
00:29:41 --> 00:29:45 Yeah And he was innocent Yeah Mhm I
00:29:45 --> 00:29:48 couldn't bury him for a month after the
00:29:48 --> 00:29:51 fact because I was being hospitalized
00:29:51 --> 00:29:53 again and again
00:29:53 --> 00:29:56 He wasn't buried until November
00:29:56 --> 00:30:02 21st He was born October
00:30:02 --> 00:30:07 27th Then I had different
00:30:07 --> 00:30:10 religions Christians wanted to bury him
00:30:10 --> 00:30:12 Muslims wanted to bury him because his
00:30:12 --> 00:30:14 middle name was Mayer his father was
00:30:14 --> 00:30:17 Muslim And I'm like you got to make
00:30:17 --> 00:30:21 these decisions over an innocent
00:30:21 --> 00:30:25 child of how
00:30:25 --> 00:30:27 well you know he's supposed to be buried
00:30:27 --> 00:30:29 this way and this is supposed to be this
00:30:29 --> 00:30:32 way and you got a certain amount of time
00:30:32 --> 00:30:37 to do this and it's just so
00:30:37 --> 00:30:41 much Them being hassled and harassed
00:30:41 --> 00:30:46 about bills
00:30:46 --> 00:30:48 from the hospital be you didn't even get
00:30:48 --> 00:30:50 a child You don't even have a social
00:30:50 --> 00:30:54 security
00:30:54 --> 00:30:58 number and all this other stuff Like I
00:30:58 --> 00:31:00 was
00:31:01 --> 00:31:02 blessed
00:31:02 --> 00:31:06 blessed to be able to get the money to
00:31:06 --> 00:31:08 bury him
00:31:08 --> 00:31:11 and we did a private
00:31:11 --> 00:31:15 ceremony
00:31:15 --> 00:31:19 but it was stressful after that
00:31:20 --> 00:31:22 It was stressful after his death and
00:31:22 --> 00:31:24 still to this day like my friends
00:31:24 --> 00:31:28 encouraged me I have a sister circle Mhm
00:31:28 --> 00:31:31 I have a sister circle
00:31:31 --> 00:31:35 They pray with me They slay with me They
00:31:35 --> 00:31:38 love with me They care with
00:31:38 --> 00:31:41 me But don't play with my sisters That
00:31:41 --> 00:31:46 part that part I got girls who love me
00:31:46 --> 00:31:52 Yeah I have brothers who are strong and
00:31:52 --> 00:31:54 caring that I've seen a soft side in
00:31:54 --> 00:31:58 them that I've never seen Mhm
00:31:58 --> 00:32:01 I just want to say that um I hope that
00:32:01 --> 00:32:04 as we listen to her story and her
00:32:04 --> 00:32:07 journey um that we keep in mind or just
00:32:07 --> 00:32:10 bear in mind how important it is to
00:32:10 --> 00:32:14 support um women after giving birth cuz
00:32:14 --> 00:32:17 that is one of the toughest time and
00:32:17 --> 00:32:20 even as we all know um
00:32:20 --> 00:32:24 maternity or mortality happens typically
00:32:24 --> 00:32:26 after postpartum or during postpartum
00:32:26 --> 00:32:29 I'm Right And uh that time frame for
00:32:29 --> 00:32:32 postpartum is typically a year which can
00:32:32 --> 00:32:34 definitely go longer and 90% of the time
00:32:34 --> 00:32:37 it does go longer but the time it's more
00:32:37 --> 00:32:41 um important for great attention is
00:32:41 --> 00:32:43 after it happens like never ignore
00:32:43 --> 00:32:46 somebody who's going through um
00:32:46 --> 00:32:48 postpartum regardless if you see a smile
00:32:48 --> 00:32:51 on their face them happy just like you
00:32:51 --> 00:32:53 say that you know what I'm saying people
00:32:53 --> 00:32:55 are saying oh girl how do you do it how
00:32:55 --> 00:32:57 do you keep a smile on on your face You
00:32:57 --> 00:32:59 know you need that body you need that
00:32:59 --> 00:33:02 armor So if you see family members just
00:33:02 --> 00:33:05 let me be happy cuz you never know what
00:33:05 --> 00:33:08 h just happened 5 minutes ago And
00:33:08 --> 00:33:11 postpartum comes in so many different
00:33:11 --> 00:33:15 faces Correct It can come in the face of
00:33:15 --> 00:33:18 you think that she's partying but she's
00:33:18 --> 00:33:21 trying to cope She's grieving or she may
00:33:21 --> 00:33:25 not even have even lost a child
00:33:25 --> 00:33:28 It comes in so many different faces
00:33:28 --> 00:33:30 like and grief looks different for
00:33:30 --> 00:33:34 everybody Everybody Correct So lastly
00:33:34 --> 00:33:36 for you um what advice do you have for
00:33:36 --> 00:33:39 women out there who may be going through
00:33:39 --> 00:33:42 something like this similar or um people
00:33:42 --> 00:33:45 who are just maybe thinking um on ways
00:33:45 --> 00:33:48 to prevent this from happening If
00:33:48 --> 00:33:50 there's there when you reflect back is
00:33:50 --> 00:33:53 there anything uh you could have said to
00:33:53 --> 00:33:54 yourself
00:33:54 --> 00:33:58 then to to maybe help you now or um you
00:33:58 --> 00:34:00 think you did everything any advice to
00:34:00 --> 00:34:03 myself looking back it would be to be
00:34:03 --> 00:34:06 patient
00:34:06 --> 00:34:09 Be patient Don't rush anything But to
00:34:09 --> 00:34:12 the ladies who are going through or may
00:34:12 --> 00:34:14 have a birth story or they're going
00:34:14 --> 00:34:17 through a tough time please surround
00:34:17 --> 00:34:19 yourself Please surround yourself with
00:34:20 --> 00:34:22 people who are loved The people places
00:34:22 --> 00:34:24 and things where there is love care and
00:34:24 --> 00:34:27 support Do not try to do this by
00:34:27 --> 00:34:29 yourself because you think you're strong
00:34:29 --> 00:34:31 Do not think that because you have to
00:34:31 --> 00:34:33 keep calling or you have to keep
00:34:33 --> 00:34:36 reaching out Keep reaching out Keep
00:34:36 --> 00:34:39 calling Keep making efforts to reach out
00:34:39 --> 00:34:42 to somebody to help It may not look like
00:34:42 --> 00:34:45 the same person every time It may be a
00:34:45 --> 00:34:46 different support person It may be a
00:34:46 --> 00:34:50 support group It may be uh an outreach
00:34:50 --> 00:34:53 group It may be a church It may be a
00:34:53 --> 00:34:55 mosque a magic It may be it looks
00:34:55 --> 00:34:57 different for everybody But do not try
00:34:57 --> 00:35:00 to do this by yourself That is the main
00:35:00 --> 00:35:02 advice that I can try to give these
00:35:02 --> 00:35:05 ladies Definitely Do not be surrounded
00:35:05 --> 00:35:08 in a dark room by yourself with crazy
00:35:08 --> 00:35:10 thoughts It's the worst position that
00:35:10 --> 00:35:14 you could be in Seriously definitely
00:35:14 --> 00:35:16 Thank you so much for sharing Definitely
00:35:16 --> 00:35:18 appreciate you and thank you for having
00:35:18 --> 00:35:21 your insight on that All right So yeah
00:35:21 --> 00:35:24 So thank you so much for that powerful
00:35:24 --> 00:35:27 conversation there How do you guys feel
00:35:27 --> 00:35:30 it's intense Okay Oh man I was It's
00:35:30 --> 00:35:34 intense And sadly your story is not the
00:35:34 --> 00:35:36 only story like that
00:35:36 --> 00:35:40 Unfortunately I have heard seen and been
00:35:40 --> 00:35:42 contacted
00:35:42 --> 00:35:45 by multiple women who have been in the
00:35:45 --> 00:35:47 same facility that I was in who have
00:35:47 --> 00:35:51 lost either a child or a mother and they
00:35:51 --> 00:35:53 were
00:35:53 --> 00:35:58 So at the end of the day it's a lot of
00:35:58 --> 00:36:01 us who are being affected Not to say
00:36:02 --> 00:36:04 that it doesn't affect other cultures
00:36:04 --> 00:36:07 but our cultures has the highest
00:36:07 --> 00:36:08 statistics
00:36:08 --> 00:36:12 I read the statistics We have the and
00:36:12 --> 00:36:15 surprisingly Japan has the lowest
00:36:15 --> 00:36:17 statistics because they don't use
00:36:17 --> 00:36:21 anesthesia They I tried to find
00:36:21 --> 00:36:23 uh the breathing classes It's not
00:36:23 --> 00:36:27 covered by Medicare
00:36:27 --> 00:36:28 and that's something that would have
00:36:28 --> 00:36:32 helped natural birth Yeah That
00:36:32 --> 00:36:34 conversation actually leads us to our
00:36:34 --> 00:36:36 next information that I'm going to be
00:36:36 --> 00:36:38 providing because according to the
00:36:38 --> 00:36:41 Center for Disease Control Prevention
00:36:41 --> 00:36:44 CDC black women in the US are
00:36:44 --> 00:36:46 approximately three to four times more
00:36:46 --> 00:36:49 likely to die from pregnancy related
00:36:49 --> 00:36:52 complication than white women
00:36:52 --> 00:36:54 And in Delaware these numbers are just
00:36:54 --> 00:36:55 alarming with racial disparities in
00:36:56 --> 00:36:59 maternal health care being a serious
00:36:59 --> 00:37:01 concern These outcomes aren't because of
00:37:01 --> 00:37:04 biology They're because of systemic
00:37:04 --> 00:37:06 racism lack of access to quality care
00:37:06 --> 00:37:09 and dismissive treatment in medical
00:37:09 --> 00:37:11 spaces
00:37:11 --> 00:37:13 All right So just so much work to be
00:37:13 --> 00:37:16 done Later on in the program we're going
00:37:16 --> 00:37:19 to have a call to action just to um have
00:37:19 --> 00:37:23 people be more mindful and um attend
00:37:23 --> 00:37:25 classes that they need to attend or
00:37:25 --> 00:37:29 speak up or um just look at legislation
00:37:29 --> 00:37:31 um if you have the power if you're in a
00:37:31 --> 00:37:34 position to be able to help or create
00:37:34 --> 00:37:36 that change so that we can see these
00:37:36 --> 00:37:39 numbers going down So and when we say
00:37:40 --> 00:37:41 three to black women are three to four
00:37:41 --> 00:37:43 times more likely to die of maternal
00:37:43 --> 00:37:47 mortality we're looking at a high number
00:37:47 --> 00:37:50 of 7 800 people So like a lot of time
00:37:50 --> 00:37:53 like I like to like explain or
00:37:53 --> 00:37:55 expansiate on that difference because
00:37:55 --> 00:37:57 when you say three to four times it's
00:37:57 --> 00:37:59 just three to four times You don't
00:37:59 --> 00:38:00 understand the magnitude of that number
00:38:00 --> 00:38:03 So we're looking at 7 800 people or so
00:38:03 --> 00:38:05 there about approximately So it's a high
00:38:06 --> 00:38:07 number That's somebody's mother That's
00:38:07 --> 00:38:10 somebody's daughter That's somebody's um
00:38:10 --> 00:38:13 sister sister neighbor cousin teacher
00:38:14 --> 00:38:17 best friend coworker you name it So this
00:38:17 --> 00:38:21 lives and it's important All right so
00:38:21 --> 00:38:23 we're going to go to our next story That
00:38:23 --> 00:38:27 was a challenging one of course Um so
00:38:27 --> 00:38:28 thank you once again for sharing Now
00:38:28 --> 00:38:30 we're going to go to your story Um
00:38:30 --> 00:38:32 Taylor just tell us a little bit about
00:38:32 --> 00:38:35 your um pregnancy journey and um any
00:38:35 --> 00:38:37 information you'd like to share for our
00:38:37 --> 00:38:40 audience Absolutely So I started my
00:38:40 --> 00:38:44 journey towards the end of 2022 Um I had
00:38:44 --> 00:38:47 gotten pregnant and at that time I was I
00:38:47 --> 00:38:49 had an OB/GYN that I had been with for
00:38:49 --> 00:38:52 about 10 years I would say since I was
00:38:52 --> 00:38:56 14 15 Um I know that I was super adamant
00:38:56 --> 00:39:01 about my reproductive health as young as
00:39:01 --> 00:39:03 13 since I got my first period just
00:39:03 --> 00:39:05 based off of what I see my mother go
00:39:05 --> 00:39:08 through the women in my community
00:39:08 --> 00:39:12 hearing stories Um it was a very I
00:39:12 --> 00:39:14 wouldn't even say traumatic but I know
00:39:14 --> 00:39:17 that there was a lot of women that had
00:39:17 --> 00:39:20 concerns And so the OBGYn that I was
00:39:20 --> 00:39:22 with at the time that I felt comfortable
00:39:22 --> 00:39:26 with she was a brown woman So I had I
00:39:26 --> 00:39:27 was very comfortable with her She
00:39:27 --> 00:39:31 decided to retire Um so at that time I
00:39:31 --> 00:39:35 was looking for another provider who was
00:39:35 --> 00:39:37 black or brown to support me during this
00:39:38 --> 00:39:40 time And I was young Um I didn't have a
00:39:40 --> 00:39:41 lot of information I didn't know too
00:39:42 --> 00:39:44 much about pregnancy
00:39:44 --> 00:39:47 And I really wanted to feel supported
00:39:48 --> 00:39:49 and especially because I was super
00:39:49 --> 00:39:54 concerned um at that time I believe I
00:39:54 --> 00:39:56 was looking in the area I was in
00:39:56 --> 00:39:58 Delaware and I was looking Newark uh
00:39:58 --> 00:40:01 Christianana St Francis and I had found
00:40:02 --> 00:40:04 a provider but at that time she wasn't
00:40:04 --> 00:40:08 taking new clients and I was nervous
00:40:08 --> 00:40:09 because I was like there's not too many
00:40:09 --> 00:40:12 other brown or black OBGYNS that I could
00:40:12 --> 00:40:16 find Um but I was able to go to her
00:40:16 --> 00:40:21 counterpart and being seen at by her I
00:40:21 --> 00:40:24 realized that they had such a
00:40:24 --> 00:40:27 high volume of clients that my questions
00:40:28 --> 00:40:29 and my appointments were very limited
00:40:29 --> 00:40:31 and very short and I didn't feel like
00:40:31 --> 00:40:33 all of my questions my concerns were
00:40:33 --> 00:40:36 being addressed and it made me very
00:40:36 --> 00:40:40 anxious during my pregnancy Um so at
00:40:40 --> 00:40:43 that point I had found the birth center
00:40:43 --> 00:40:47 um in Newark Delaware Um their very
00:40:47 --> 00:40:48 first classes they introduced to me the
00:40:48 --> 00:40:51 idea of a midwife and a doula delivering
00:40:51 --> 00:40:55 my son And I was super excited But just
00:40:55 --> 00:40:57 based off of the classrooms that I was
00:40:57 --> 00:40:59 in and just the midwives that I had met
00:40:59 --> 00:41:01 I didn't see many women that look like
00:41:01 --> 00:41:04 myself And I knew from the beginning
00:41:04 --> 00:41:05 once they said doula I was like I want a
00:41:05 --> 00:41:08 doula and I want her to be black I knew
00:41:08 --> 00:41:10 that and that was the first time that I
00:41:10 --> 00:41:12 felt like in my pregnancy that I had
00:41:12 --> 00:41:14 control of something other than who my
00:41:14 --> 00:41:18 provider was Um and I was blessed enough
00:41:18 --> 00:41:21 to had a family member recommend um
00:41:21 --> 00:41:26 Levanda Collins um my doula And she I
00:41:26 --> 00:41:28 met her through Instagram Our very first
00:41:28 --> 00:41:30 meeting the first thing she asked me was
00:41:30 --> 00:41:32 "What do you want?" And that was so
00:41:32 --> 00:41:33 important for me because I had never sat
00:41:33 --> 00:41:35 and thought about that Like what do I
00:41:36 --> 00:41:37 want out of my experience what do I want
00:41:37 --> 00:41:39 my pregnancy to look like how do I want
00:41:39 --> 00:41:41 to birth my son she asked me "Do you
00:41:41 --> 00:41:44 want to catch him?" And I was like
00:41:44 --> 00:41:48 "Whoa like you mean like this myself?"
00:41:48 --> 00:41:50 And she was like "Yes ma'am." Like "You
00:41:50 --> 00:41:52 can do it." And at that time I knew that
00:41:52 --> 00:41:54 I wanted to have him naturally I'd seen
00:41:54 --> 00:41:57 so many traumatic stories based off of
00:41:57 --> 00:42:00 ptocin and having the epidural I was
00:42:00 --> 00:42:01 like I don't even want to go the
00:42:01 --> 00:42:02 traditional route I don't want to have
00:42:02 --> 00:42:05 him at a hospital I don't want to go and
00:42:05 --> 00:42:07 have ptocin or epidural And the first
00:42:07 --> 00:42:10 thing she made me realize was no matter
00:42:10 --> 00:42:13 what you decide your body is still doing
00:42:13 --> 00:42:16 what it's meant to do And these are all
00:42:16 --> 00:42:18 tools and resources available to help
00:42:18 --> 00:42:21 you feel comfortable So she was like
00:42:21 --> 00:42:22 don't feel as though if you do get the
00:42:22 --> 00:42:24 epidural that it's a copout or a fail
00:42:24 --> 00:42:26 because it's not It's just another tool
00:42:26 --> 00:42:28 to help you feel comfortable to do what
00:42:28 --> 00:42:31 your body's meant to do And that's when
00:42:31 --> 00:42:33 I realized I was like "This is what this
00:42:33 --> 00:42:35 is the moment that I needed I felt
00:42:35 --> 00:42:38 empowered I could ask her questions and
00:42:38 --> 00:42:40 I didn't feel ashamed I could make
00:42:40 --> 00:42:42 decisions and say "Hey lovey can we try
00:42:42 --> 00:42:44 this?" And she's like "Yeah let's pull
00:42:44 --> 00:42:46 out some literature Let's read some
00:42:46 --> 00:42:47 things and you tell me what you want to
00:42:48 --> 00:42:52 do." I've trained her You did
00:42:52 --> 00:42:56 so um and I worked closely with her and
00:42:56 --> 00:42:59 the midwives at the birth center And
00:42:59 --> 00:43:01 again a lot I do I am very grateful of
00:43:01 --> 00:43:05 the birth center However um I know that
00:43:05 --> 00:43:08 the owner had also had a conversation
00:43:08 --> 00:43:10 with me about how there is a lack of
00:43:10 --> 00:43:12 black and brown women in these spaces
00:43:12 --> 00:43:15 and that they're looking to open some of
00:43:15 --> 00:43:18 these doors Um and I I let her know I
00:43:18 --> 00:43:20 was very honest with her that the doulas
00:43:20 --> 00:43:22 that they offered to me I didn't feel
00:43:22 --> 00:43:24 comfortable with choosing And so I had
00:43:24 --> 00:43:26 to go outside of that and find my own
00:43:26 --> 00:43:29 And at that time doulas were not covered
00:43:29 --> 00:43:31 by Medicaid in Delaware And so my
00:43:32 --> 00:43:34 biggest concern as well was financially
00:43:34 --> 00:43:36 how am I going to pay for this i was
00:43:36 --> 00:43:39 young having a kid on my own And I'm
00:43:39 --> 00:43:41 like is this something that I should pay
00:43:41 --> 00:43:44 for is this an is this a luxury that I
00:43:44 --> 00:43:47 can afford and Lovey sat down with me
00:43:47 --> 00:43:48 and she was like this isn't a luxury A
00:43:48 --> 00:43:51 luxury This is not a necessity This is a
00:43:51 --> 00:43:54 necessity This is the support that you
00:43:54 --> 00:43:58 need And I was grateful enough and I was
00:43:58 --> 00:43:59 blessed enough to have some of my family
00:44:00 --> 00:44:03 help in and pay for Lovey's doula
00:44:03 --> 00:44:06 services But I know that that's such a
00:44:06 --> 00:44:08 huge thing for women especially in
00:44:08 --> 00:44:10 Delaware is that they're worried about
00:44:10 --> 00:44:13 the cost of doula services And there's
00:44:13 --> 00:44:17 so many spaces and opportunities for not
00:44:17 --> 00:44:20 only to meet doulas now but to have
00:44:20 --> 00:44:23 people sponsor or even just have the
00:44:23 --> 00:44:25 conversations Um and I think it's very
00:44:25 --> 00:44:27 important because even if you can't
00:44:27 --> 00:44:30 afford it I think that just having
00:44:30 --> 00:44:33 meeting Jen or Levanda they will they
00:44:34 --> 00:44:36 will go out of their way to find a
00:44:36 --> 00:44:38 solution for you or just answer your
00:44:38 --> 00:44:41 questions or find resources like Lavana
00:44:41 --> 00:44:44 gave me so many books that I still have
00:44:44 --> 00:44:46 So if you have questions like I'm happy
00:44:46 --> 00:44:49 to pass on those books But back to my
00:44:49 --> 00:44:53 story Um I was able to I believe halfway
00:44:53 --> 00:44:55 through my pregnancy I was just having
00:44:55 --> 00:44:57 some issues swelling and things of that
00:44:57 --> 00:44:59 nature And I was just grateful that
00:45:00 --> 00:45:02 Levanda gave me some natural remedies
00:45:02 --> 00:45:05 and options like stretching And she made
00:45:05 --> 00:45:07 sure I'm not a huge water drinker Don't
00:45:07 --> 00:45:10 hate me But she called me and checked on
00:45:10 --> 00:45:12 me every day and was like "Are you
00:45:12 --> 00:45:13 drinking your water you need to drink
00:45:13 --> 00:45:15 your water Make sure you're taking your
00:45:15 --> 00:45:18 prenatalss Make sure you're walking." Um
00:45:18 --> 00:45:20 she would FaceTime me any time of the
00:45:20 --> 00:45:23 day just checking on me And it never
00:45:23 --> 00:45:25 felt like she was imposing It always
00:45:25 --> 00:45:27 felt like her intentions were exactly
00:45:28 --> 00:45:30 where they should be And it was just on
00:45:30 --> 00:45:33 what my what I had chose to do with my
00:45:33 --> 00:45:36 pregnancy Um we did my birth plan and
00:45:36 --> 00:45:38 she went right along with it every day
00:45:38 --> 00:45:40 This is what we want or this is what you
00:45:40 --> 00:45:43 want Let's see some of the options that
00:45:43 --> 00:45:46 we can go through Um so throughout my
00:45:46 --> 00:45:49 pregnancy I was very comfortable Um I
00:45:49 --> 00:45:52 had some external stressors with my
00:45:52 --> 00:45:55 family and my child's father And I think
00:45:55 --> 00:45:58 that was another huge part was that my
00:45:58 --> 00:46:00 doula was also there for me through that
00:46:00 --> 00:46:03 Good Um my child's father was not very
00:46:03 --> 00:46:06 active and I'm just grateful for her
00:46:06 --> 00:46:08 because that is a huge thing as far as
00:46:08 --> 00:46:13 stress and I felt like I didn't want to
00:46:13 --> 00:46:15 stress my child Mhm And make my
00:46:15 --> 00:46:18 situation worse So just having that
00:46:18 --> 00:46:20 support there really empowered me as
00:46:20 --> 00:46:25 well Um I ended up giving birth in
00:46:25 --> 00:46:28 September Um congratulations Thank you
00:46:28 --> 00:46:33 Thank you Um but I do know that they
00:46:33 --> 00:46:35 tell us to wait I believe it's like 1
00:46:35 --> 00:46:37 minute Your contraction should be a
00:46:37 --> 00:46:40 certain amount apart And my mother's
00:46:40 --> 00:46:45 concerned as well as um Le's concern was
00:46:45 --> 00:46:47 trust your body If your body's telling
00:46:47 --> 00:46:50 you listen to it Because I was just like
00:46:50 --> 00:46:52 it has to be this It has to be And
00:46:52 --> 00:46:54 they're like no it doesn't If you feel
00:46:54 --> 00:46:57 like you're ready it's time And I think
00:46:57 --> 00:46:59 I went into labor at like 7:00 in the
00:46:59 --> 00:47:02 morning I felt my first contraction and
00:47:02 --> 00:47:05 I was in denial I was like "It's not
00:47:05 --> 00:47:07 happening yet It's not happening yet."
00:47:07 --> 00:47:09 And my body was like "Yes it is Yes it
00:47:09 --> 00:47:11 is." So I lost my mucus plug around like
00:47:12 --> 00:47:14 10:00 a.m I think it was And Lovey was
00:47:14 --> 00:47:16 like "Just be prepared Read your
00:47:16 --> 00:47:19 affirmation cards." And because I have I
00:47:19 --> 00:47:21 get really anxious and she was like
00:47:21 --> 00:47:24 "There's no space for anxiety here Read
00:47:24 --> 00:47:26 your affirmation cards say it to
00:47:26 --> 00:47:27 yourself You have to believe it and
00:47:27 --> 00:47:30 practice it And so I think that was
00:47:30 --> 00:47:31 another thing that really helped me with
00:47:31 --> 00:47:34 my anxiety was just saying those
00:47:34 --> 00:47:37 affirmations to myself I was I was on my
00:47:37 --> 00:47:40 way to the hospital Um so at that point
00:47:40 --> 00:47:43 once I lost my mucus plug I was like
00:47:43 --> 00:47:45 "Okay I don't think it's time." And they
00:47:45 --> 00:47:46 were like "It's time Taylor Like you
00:47:46 --> 00:47:48 have to listen to your body If you feel
00:47:48 --> 00:47:50 this this this and that you're in like
00:47:50 --> 00:47:52 your first stages of labor." By the time
00:47:52 --> 00:47:55 I had got to the birth center I was 7 cm
00:47:55 --> 00:47:58 dilated Oh wow Yeah that's the way to go
00:47:58 --> 00:48:00 Yeah I I was so afraid of being turned
00:48:00 --> 00:48:02 away at the door I didn't want to get
00:48:02 --> 00:48:03 there and they'd be like "Hey you're not
00:48:03 --> 00:48:05 ready yet Let's go on back home and come
00:48:05 --> 00:48:07 back when you're ready." So I waited up
00:48:07 --> 00:48:09 until like one of the last few seconds
00:48:10 --> 00:48:12 Um but I got there and shortly after
00:48:12 --> 00:48:14 love you got there I want to say like 20
00:48:14 --> 00:48:17 30 minutes right behind me Um and I was
00:48:17 --> 00:48:20 able to have her my grandmother my best
00:48:20 --> 00:48:22 friend my child's godmother and my
00:48:22 --> 00:48:25 mother in the room with me And I
00:48:25 --> 00:48:26 remember there was a point in time and I
00:48:26 --> 00:48:28 was like "I can't do it I want to go to
00:48:28 --> 00:48:30 the hospital." That baby was coming He
00:48:30 --> 00:48:32 was coming And I was like "Epidural
00:48:32 --> 00:48:34 epidural take me to the hospital." And
00:48:34 --> 00:48:38 Lovey was like "Can you do it?" And I
00:48:38 --> 00:48:40 looked at her and I was so scared And I
00:48:40 --> 00:48:42 didn't know if I could do it And I
00:48:42 --> 00:48:44 looked at her and I was like "My body
00:48:44 --> 00:48:46 was made for this." And once I said that
00:48:46 --> 00:48:49 I just fully trusted myself I was so
00:48:49 --> 00:48:53 scared And I just thank God for her
00:48:53 --> 00:48:56 being in that room because truth be told
00:48:56 --> 00:48:59 the midwife that I had
00:48:59 --> 00:49:02 sorry I don't feel as
00:49:02 --> 00:49:05 though they were as supportive as I
00:49:05 --> 00:49:08 would have wanted And so I am happy that
00:49:08 --> 00:49:13 I did have a doula there Um because like
00:49:13 --> 00:49:13 I
00:49:13 --> 00:49:16 said that space didn't have women that
00:49:16 --> 00:49:18 looked like me And so a lot of the
00:49:18 --> 00:49:20 things that I was looking
00:49:20 --> 00:49:24 for was not available And so
00:49:24 --> 00:49:26 she was feeding me snacks and crackers
00:49:26 --> 00:49:28 And she was like what do you need what
00:49:28 --> 00:49:30 do you need do you want a pillow here
00:49:30 --> 00:49:31 and at one point I was like I remember
00:49:31 --> 00:49:33 telling her I was like I don't want to
00:49:33 --> 00:49:34 give birth on my back And she's like
00:49:34 --> 00:49:37 girl do what's comfortable for you If
00:49:37 --> 00:49:38 you don't feel comfortable on your knees
00:49:38 --> 00:49:41 let's try a different position And I was
00:49:41 --> 00:49:42 so adamant about having my son in the
00:49:42 --> 00:49:44 tub but I was just not comfortable And
00:49:44 --> 00:49:46 she was like "Baby if you're not
00:49:46 --> 00:49:48 comfortable let's get you out of this
00:49:48 --> 00:49:50 tub Like don't sit here because you want
00:49:50 --> 00:49:52 to give birth here but let's do what's
00:49:52 --> 00:49:54 comfortable for your body." So at that
00:49:54 --> 00:49:57 point I got out of the tub and I got on
00:49:57 --> 00:49:59 the bed And I was like I don't know if I
00:49:59 --> 00:50:02 can keep doing this I'm I'm I'm ready
00:50:02 --> 00:50:03 And she was like just breathe And I was
00:50:03 --> 00:50:05 like I just remember sorry for the
00:50:05 --> 00:50:07 vulgarity I just remember being like I
00:50:07 --> 00:50:08 have to pee but I don't want to pee in
00:50:08 --> 00:50:10 front of everybody Like I was just so
00:50:10 --> 00:50:11 embarrassed I was like "I don't want to
00:50:11 --> 00:50:14 pee in front of everybody." Vulgar
00:50:14 --> 00:50:18 Okay
00:50:18 --> 00:50:20 And she was like "Girl it's we're all
00:50:20 --> 00:50:23 women." And at that point I felt the
00:50:24 --> 00:50:27 push and my water broke And so she was
00:50:27 --> 00:50:29 like "That was the push you needed Like
00:50:29 --> 00:50:33 let go." And so um by that point my
00:50:33 --> 00:50:36 water had came And then shortly after
00:50:36 --> 00:50:38 they were I they I was like I think it's
00:50:38 --> 00:50:40 time for me to push Like I felt that
00:50:40 --> 00:50:43 that clench And Lovey was like "You're
00:50:43 --> 00:50:45 ready Like let's whenever you're ready
00:50:45 --> 00:50:47 you tell me." And so I I remember
00:50:47 --> 00:50:49 telling her "Can you come on this side
00:50:49 --> 00:50:51 hold this hand." I had my grandmother
00:50:51 --> 00:50:53 hold one leg My mom was holding the
00:50:53 --> 00:50:55 other leg My best friend was holding my
00:50:55 --> 00:50:57 hand And I just was pushing and pushing
00:50:57 --> 00:51:01 and pushing And he finally came out And
00:51:01 --> 00:51:04 um I Lovey recorded that video and I
00:51:04 --> 00:51:07 watch it all the time Hallelujah Because
00:51:07 --> 00:51:09 I still can't believe that I did that
00:51:09 --> 00:51:12 Like I had him and it only took me I
00:51:12 --> 00:51:15 want to say like five maybe six pushes I
00:51:15 --> 00:51:17 remember taking the first two pushes and
00:51:17 --> 00:51:20 he was going in and coming back out
00:51:20 --> 00:51:22 going in and coming back out And I was
00:51:22 --> 00:51:23 like "Oh my gosh." Like he doing what he
00:51:24 --> 00:51:25 was supposed to do He was And she was
00:51:25 --> 00:51:27 like "He's coming down as he's supposed
00:51:27 --> 00:51:29 to." And she was and they were like "Do
00:51:29 --> 00:51:30 you want the mirror?" And I was like "No
00:51:30 --> 00:51:32 I don't want
00:51:32 --> 00:51:35 Oh and I just remember my grand progress
00:51:35 --> 00:51:37 Yeah And then I was like "No no please
00:51:37 --> 00:51:39 see me." And my grandmother was holding
00:51:39 --> 00:51:41 my leg I was like "Mom please hold my
00:51:41 --> 00:51:43 leg up." And she was like she's like "I
00:51:43 --> 00:51:45 got you I got you." And just to be there
00:51:45 --> 00:51:48 with all of them just is like a vivid
00:51:48 --> 00:51:52 memory for me And it was just it's so
00:51:52 --> 00:51:54 powerful And like just to see the video
00:51:54 --> 00:51:56 I watch all the time and I'm just like
00:51:56 --> 00:51:57 "Wow." Like I really can't believe that
00:51:57 --> 00:52:00 I was able to do that And as soon as he
00:52:00 --> 00:52:01 came out she was like "What do you want
00:52:01 --> 00:52:03 to do do you want to do golden time do
00:52:03 --> 00:52:05 you want him on your chest do you want
00:52:05 --> 00:52:06 him to get his test done i was like
00:52:06 --> 00:52:08 "Bring him to me I want him right now."
00:52:08 --> 00:52:13 So um after that I had my son and she
00:52:13 --> 00:52:15 was there for me right out of the
00:52:15 --> 00:52:17 hospital So I actually took him home the
00:52:17 --> 00:52:21 next 6 hours later Um they had prepared
00:52:21 --> 00:52:25 me to uh check his breathing and you
00:52:25 --> 00:52:26 know check for jaundice and things of
00:52:26 --> 00:52:29 that nature So um once I went home she
00:52:29 --> 00:52:31 came by the next morning She had black
00:52:31 --> 00:52:35 castor oil Chick-fil-A nuggets lemonade
00:52:35 --> 00:52:37 everything that I had wanted on my birth
00:52:37 --> 00:52:39 plan and she just made sure that was
00:52:39 --> 00:52:41 good She helped my son so I could shower
00:52:41 --> 00:52:44 and so yeah my story Yeah we still have
00:52:44 --> 00:52:47 a relationship to this day Beautiful
00:52:47 --> 00:52:48 Beautiful Now did you say you were
00:52:48 --> 00:52:51 having snacks and everything yes I was
00:52:51 --> 00:52:54 able to eat Yes Cuz they had me eating
00:52:54 --> 00:52:56 jello I had jello Well I was in labor
00:52:56 --> 00:53:00 for 36 hours and all I had was Jell-O
00:53:00 --> 00:53:01 They said you can't have no snack You
00:53:01 --> 00:53:03 can't have anything I was like can I say
00:53:03 --> 00:53:05 something right there that's because
00:53:05 --> 00:53:08 that was a hospital birth
00:53:08 --> 00:53:10 They don't want you to have anything
00:53:10 --> 00:53:13 Certain hospitals are coming around and
00:53:13 --> 00:53:16 following the research and
00:53:16 --> 00:53:19 the yeah certain hospitals are following
00:53:19 --> 00:53:22 that many are not Mhm So in the standard
00:53:22 --> 00:53:25 the hospital is that you can't eat or
00:53:25 --> 00:53:28 that it's clear foods clear liquids At
00:53:28 --> 00:53:32 home eat what you want do what you want
00:53:32 --> 00:53:34 And in the birth center normally it's
00:53:34 --> 00:53:36 eat what you want do what you want
00:53:36 --> 00:53:38 Because birth can last a very long time
00:53:38 --> 00:53:41 Labor can last a very long time And it
00:53:41 --> 00:53:44 is literally a marathon Are we telling
00:53:44 --> 00:53:46 runners who are running in the Boston
00:53:46 --> 00:53:48 Marathon or the New York Marathon not to
00:53:48 --> 00:53:50 hydrate and not to eat no There are
00:53:50 --> 00:53:52 literally stations set up for that And
00:53:52 --> 00:53:54 birth is very much the same thing You
00:53:54 --> 00:53:58 need to eat You need to have that energy
00:53:58 --> 00:54:01 Otherwise you're going to burn out which
00:54:01 --> 00:54:03 is often what happens in the hospital
00:54:04 --> 00:54:08 That part Yeah So um research shows that
00:54:08 --> 00:54:12 89% of women um qualify for at home
00:54:12 --> 00:54:17 birth for their first child and 64% of
00:54:17 --> 00:54:20 women are open to it to the idea However
00:54:20 --> 00:54:23 approximately 8% actually get their
00:54:23 --> 00:54:26 wishes if they please I was told that
00:54:26 --> 00:54:30 wasn't an option for me Wow
00:54:30 --> 00:54:32 Yeah Because So you were told it wasn't
00:54:32 --> 00:54:34 an option I wasn't an option because of
00:54:34 --> 00:54:36 my weight because of my age and because
00:54:36 --> 00:54:39 I was schizophrenic I could not give
00:54:39 --> 00:54:43 natural birth tub birth water birth I
00:54:43 --> 00:54:45 had to be in the hospital That was the
00:54:45 --> 00:54:48 only option for me
00:54:48 --> 00:54:53 Okay And this was your doctor dr Doula
00:54:53 --> 00:54:56 Okay Yeah Okay And they gave you the
00:54:56 --> 00:55:00 reasons and all of that And with
00:55:00 --> 00:55:02 evidence and you were able to actually
00:55:02 --> 00:55:04 like No evidence No evidence Okay All
00:55:04 --> 00:55:08 right Well interesting Right You get to
00:55:08 --> 00:55:09 hear different stories of course you
00:55:10 --> 00:55:12 know with this burden experiences and
00:55:12 --> 00:55:15 things like that Um also the good part
00:55:15 --> 00:55:18 also is that u mothers with uh mothers
00:55:18 --> 00:55:21 with doula are four times less likely to
00:55:21 --> 00:55:24 have low weight birth low low weight
00:55:24 --> 00:55:28 baby and two times less likely to
00:55:28 --> 00:55:30 experience birth complication involving
00:55:30 --> 00:55:33 themselves and their babies This is just
00:55:33 --> 00:55:34 statistics that shows the importance of
00:55:34 --> 00:55:36 having a dueler or a midwife of course
00:55:36 --> 00:55:38 and we're going to get into midwife here
00:55:38 --> 00:55:40 in a minute
00:55:40 --> 00:55:42 Um
00:55:42 --> 00:55:44 so we're going to shift the conversation
00:55:44 --> 00:55:47 a little bit now that we've heard these
00:55:47 --> 00:55:50 two powerful stories right uh let's
00:55:50 --> 00:55:52 bring in someone who has experience
00:55:52 --> 00:55:56 expertise knowledge in the field of uh
00:55:56 --> 00:56:01 just giving birth right um so
00:56:01 --> 00:56:04 I mean I'm an expert in giving birth but
00:56:04 --> 00:56:07 as far as working within maternal health
00:56:07 --> 00:56:09 and the reproductive space I wouldn't
00:56:09 --> 00:56:12 say that I'm an expert but I have a lot
00:56:12 --> 00:56:15 of knowledge Very good You're right Well
00:56:15 --> 00:56:17 you're the right person for us because
00:56:17 --> 00:56:19 the goal really for this podcast is for
00:56:20 --> 00:56:22 education right i always tell people
00:56:22 --> 00:56:24 that knowledge is power What if you
00:56:24 --> 00:56:29 think um I also say like when I u work
00:56:29 --> 00:56:31 with my students student that I mentor I
00:56:31 --> 00:56:33 tell them if you think education is
00:56:33 --> 00:56:36 expensive try ignorance right so any
00:56:36 --> 00:56:38 information that we're able to get from
00:56:38 --> 00:56:40 you today hopefully our audience
00:56:40 --> 00:56:42 listening will be able to implement that
00:56:42 --> 00:56:45 in their lives and u make a difference
00:56:45 --> 00:56:47 um but before we dive into you being a a
00:56:47 --> 00:56:49 midwife student midwife I just wanted
00:56:49 --> 00:56:52 want you to go through or just provide a
00:56:52 --> 00:56:55 little bit of information on why you
00:56:55 --> 00:56:59 think the disparity um in the um why do
00:56:59 --> 00:57:02 we why is it that
00:57:02 --> 00:57:05 America is an outlier when it comes to
00:57:05 --> 00:57:07 maternal mortality in general not even
00:57:07 --> 00:57:10 putting the factor of black mothers just
00:57:10 --> 00:57:11 in general cuz compared to other
00:57:11 --> 00:57:13 industrialized countries
00:57:13 --> 00:57:16 we're we rank in the very bottom Why is
00:57:16 --> 00:57:18 that disparity in America
00:57:18 --> 00:57:20 because in
00:57:20 --> 00:57:24 America what is the social norm is being
00:57:24 --> 00:57:27 in the hospital and seeing an OB Um
00:57:27 --> 00:57:29 whereas other industrialized countries
00:57:30 --> 00:57:33 their norm is midwiffery And they do
00:57:33 --> 00:57:36 still have obstitricians but they have
00:57:36 --> 00:57:39 obstitricians for those special cases
00:57:39 --> 00:57:42 those high-risisk cases The difference
00:57:42 --> 00:57:44 between an OB and a midwife is
00:57:44 --> 00:57:46 obstitricians are surgeons They are
00:57:46 --> 00:57:48 trained in surgery
00:57:48 --> 00:57:51 So what do surgeons want to do they want
00:57:51 --> 00:57:55 to cut So and they're good at it But
00:57:55 --> 00:57:58 that is not the case for everybody
00:57:58 --> 00:58:00 Everybody that's pregnant and having a
00:58:00 --> 00:58:03 baby does not necessarily need surgery
00:58:03 --> 00:58:05 or need a procedure where they need to
00:58:05 --> 00:58:07 be cut So an obstatrician does not
00:58:07 --> 00:58:10 necessarily need to be that first
00:58:10 --> 00:58:15 primary person Okay Whereas a midwife we
00:58:15 --> 00:58:19 are trained in lowrisk birth Birth in
00:58:19 --> 00:58:22 and of itself is not a medical emergency
00:58:22 --> 00:58:24 It is not a medical emergency That's
00:58:24 --> 00:58:26 right Being pregnant is something that
00:58:26 --> 00:58:29 has happened for eons and eons That is
00:58:29 --> 00:58:31 how we're all here Birth is something
00:58:31 --> 00:58:33 that has happened for eons and eons and
00:58:33 --> 00:58:35 that is how we're all here
00:58:35 --> 00:58:39 And previous to about I would say at
00:58:39 --> 00:58:41 this point maybe a hundred years ago
00:58:41 --> 00:58:43 midwiffrey was the standard Correct And
00:58:43 --> 00:58:45 about a hundred years ago is when it
00:58:45 --> 00:58:48 started with going into the hospitals
00:58:48 --> 00:58:51 and seeing obstatricians and midwives
00:58:51 --> 00:58:54 were coined as being dirty and they were
00:58:54 --> 00:58:56 seen as being oh you see a midwife
00:58:56 --> 00:59:00 you're poor Mhm Um and it became very
00:59:00 --> 00:59:03 classist and and then society is like
00:59:03 --> 00:59:05 "Oh well once they started wanting to
00:59:05 --> 00:59:07 bring midwives back in then that's where
00:59:07 --> 00:59:09 nurse midwiffery came in." And it's like
00:59:09 --> 00:59:11 "Oh well to be a midwife you have to be
00:59:11 --> 00:59:14 a nurse." Um and it has shifted and kind
00:59:14 --> 00:59:17 of gone in and out and you would see an
00:59:17 --> 00:59:19 uprising in midwiffery in the 60s and
00:59:19 --> 00:59:23 70s and you and having home births Um
00:59:23 --> 00:59:25 but at that point because it's the 60s
00:59:25 --> 00:59:27 and 70s it's like "Oh you're a hippie."
00:59:27 --> 00:59:30 Yeah you're a hippie I I mean among my
00:59:30 --> 00:59:32 friends it's a joke They're like "Oh
00:59:32 --> 00:59:34 yeah you're a hippie." And I'm like
00:59:34 --> 00:59:36 "Yeah whatever I'm a hippie because I
00:59:36 --> 00:59:38 believe in you know letting my body do
00:59:38 --> 00:59:41 what it's meant to do and you know using
00:59:41 --> 00:59:43 herbs and using
00:59:43 --> 00:59:46 natural methods as opposed to just going
00:59:46 --> 00:59:47 straight to medicine So yeah I'll be a
00:59:47 --> 00:59:49 hippie whatever I don't see it as an
00:59:49 --> 00:59:53 insult but it was used as an insult you
00:59:53 --> 00:59:55 know not that long ago
00:59:55 --> 00:59:57 shame shame other people right shaming
00:59:57 --> 01:00:01 other people Um and now because
01:00:01 --> 01:00:04 we're in a technological age where
01:00:04 --> 01:00:06 everything is recorded everything you
01:00:06 --> 01:00:10 can pull out your phone and look up
01:00:10 --> 01:00:13 something at the drop of a dime Now
01:00:13 --> 01:00:14 Mwifrey is coming back into play because
01:00:14 --> 01:00:17 now the research is and the evidence is
01:00:17 --> 01:00:21 there to back up what we've known for
01:00:21 --> 01:00:23 ever Okay Yeah And I'm glad you
01:00:24 --> 01:00:26 mentioned that also the transition from
01:00:26 --> 01:00:28 midway free to actually going to the
01:00:28 --> 01:00:30 hospital If anybody want want to get
01:00:30 --> 01:00:32 more information about that that change
01:00:32 --> 01:00:35 took place around I think 1920 1921
01:00:35 --> 01:00:37 that's when the laws and things went
01:00:37 --> 01:00:42 into effect and a guy named Abraham
01:00:42 --> 01:00:45 um Flexner was actually the one that um
01:00:45 --> 01:00:48 did the actual research and kind of like
01:00:48 --> 01:00:51 declared like mandates to change the
01:00:52 --> 01:00:55 process the steriliz he blamed it on
01:00:55 --> 01:00:57 sterilization to transition from you
01:00:57 --> 01:01:00 know having having midwife versus going
01:01:00 --> 01:01:02 to the hospital But yeah if you if you I
01:01:02 --> 01:01:04 read the report before but if you want
01:01:04 --> 01:01:05 to get more information we can d we can
01:01:06 --> 01:01:08 dive into it right now But that's just a
01:01:08 --> 01:01:09 resource I want to share with everybody
01:01:09 --> 01:01:11 PL the Flexner report You can just go
01:01:11 --> 01:01:13 online and tap it and read this is a
01:01:13 --> 01:01:15 whole article It comprises of other
01:01:15 --> 01:01:17 topic in the medical field Uh you want
01:01:17 --> 01:01:19 to if you also want to get information
01:01:19 --> 01:01:21 about why we have less black male
01:01:21 --> 01:01:24 doctors too like back in the day um due
01:01:24 --> 01:01:26 due to that report also was the reason
01:01:26 --> 01:01:28 some of the reasons why most of the
01:01:28 --> 01:01:32 black colleges between I think
01:01:32 --> 01:01:36 1905 or 1910 and 1920s were shut down
01:01:36 --> 01:01:38 There were actually like seven
01:01:38 --> 01:01:40 historically black colleges Five was
01:01:40 --> 01:01:43 shut down were shut down leaving uh
01:01:43 --> 01:01:47 Harry and Howard Um so because of that
01:01:48 --> 01:01:50 um most of the black colleges that you
01:01:50 --> 01:01:52 would have had black people go get their
01:01:52 --> 01:01:56 degrees were shut down So that actually
01:01:56 --> 01:01:59 like has affected and still affecting
01:01:59 --> 01:02:02 why we don't have as many black doctors
01:02:02 --> 01:02:04 today So it's all historical You can
01:02:04 --> 01:02:07 look down to history But definitely
01:02:07 --> 01:02:08 wanted to recommend that report When I
01:02:08 --> 01:02:11 read it I was like this is an eye opener
01:02:11 --> 01:02:12 I need somebody else to read this
01:02:12 --> 01:02:15 Absolutely Cuz although you asked me
01:02:15 --> 01:02:17 about the disparities between America
01:02:17 --> 01:02:19 and other industrialized countries aside
01:02:19 --> 01:02:21 from racism it still all boils down to
01:02:21 --> 01:02:25 racism It really does Yeah Um also in
01:02:25 --> 01:02:28 talking to you prior to this podcast uh
01:02:28 --> 01:02:29 we discussed something that was a little
01:02:30 --> 01:02:32 bit not alarming to me but I think it's
01:02:32 --> 01:02:33 some it's information that people are
01:02:33 --> 01:02:36 not too familiar with or aware of The
01:02:36 --> 01:02:40 difference between a CPM and a CNM And a
01:02:40 --> 01:02:43 CPM is a certified professional midwife
01:02:43 --> 01:02:47 and a CNM is a certified nursing u
01:02:47 --> 01:02:49 midwife Correct What is the difference
01:02:49 --> 01:02:51 could you um explain that to our
01:02:51 --> 01:02:55 audience so um a CPM versus a CNM versus
01:02:55 --> 01:02:58 a CM versus a traditional midwife Like
01:02:58 --> 01:02:59 there are many different paths to
01:03:00 --> 01:03:03 midwiffery Um but when you hear midwife
01:03:03 --> 01:03:05 there are two trains of thought that
01:03:05 --> 01:03:07 people tend to think and that's oh a
01:03:07 --> 01:03:09 midwife in the hospital That's a CNM
01:03:10 --> 01:03:12 certified nurse midwife Meaning that
01:03:12 --> 01:03:16 prior to becoming a CNM they were an RN
01:03:16 --> 01:03:19 They were a nurse and then they got
01:03:19 --> 01:03:22 higher education and advanced degree and
01:03:22 --> 01:03:26 they became a CNM So they are trained in
01:03:26 --> 01:03:31 hospital birth mainly Um a CPM a
01:03:31 --> 01:03:33 certified professional midwife is not a
01:03:33 --> 01:03:35 nurse at all You do not need to be a
01:03:35 --> 01:03:40 nurse to be a CPM they are trained um
01:03:40 --> 01:03:42 out of hospital birth So when it comes
01:03:42 --> 01:03:46 to lowrisisk birth truly CPMs are the
01:03:46 --> 01:03:50 experts in lowrisisk birth CNMs have
01:03:50 --> 01:03:53 um the ability to prescribe medications
01:03:53 --> 01:03:56 and such um because they have that
01:03:56 --> 01:04:01 advanced degree CPMs are not but we are
01:04:01 --> 01:04:03 taught what is normal so that when
01:04:03 --> 01:04:05 something abnormal comes around we are
01:04:05 --> 01:04:08 able to immediately recognize it and
01:04:08 --> 01:04:11 then pass those people off to a higher
01:04:11 --> 01:04:14 level of care Um so I mean that's that's
01:04:14 --> 01:04:17 really the two differences CPMs tend to
01:04:17 --> 01:04:20 mainly work in home birth Um they can
01:04:20 --> 01:04:23 also work in birth centers Our birth
01:04:23 --> 01:04:26 center does not have any CPMs Yeah for
01:04:26 --> 01:04:28 now
01:04:28 --> 01:04:30 Um
01:04:30 --> 01:04:32 yeah we're working on it We're we're
01:04:32 --> 01:04:35 working on it for now But um if you go
01:04:36 --> 01:04:39 to other states that have birth centers
01:04:39 --> 01:04:41 CPMs tend to be in there they tend to be
01:04:41 --> 01:04:45 in there mainly as the midwives that are
01:04:45 --> 01:04:47 providing care And then if medications
01:04:47 --> 01:04:49 or birth control or such need to be
01:04:49 --> 01:04:53 ordered then it's either the doctor that
01:04:53 --> 01:04:56 is affiliated with the birth center or a
01:04:56 --> 01:04:57 CNF
01:04:57 --> 01:04:59 All right You're good Answering that
01:04:59 --> 01:05:02 question you answered like my next my
01:05:02 --> 01:05:04 next question which I was going to ask
01:05:04 --> 01:05:05 um
01:05:05 --> 01:05:09 the how you or why you should seek
01:05:09 --> 01:05:11 either CNM or CPM but you already
01:05:11 --> 01:05:13 answered that But my next question to
01:05:13 --> 01:05:17 you is um what is the best approach or
01:05:17 --> 01:05:21 how does one go into looking for a
01:05:21 --> 01:05:25 midwife or do or dueler or even an OBGYn
01:05:25 --> 01:05:27 in general like and what what condition
01:05:27 --> 01:05:29 on what condition like when do you
01:05:29 --> 01:05:31 determine that I would rather go with a
01:05:31 --> 01:05:36 CNM CPM or OBGYn like honestly that all
01:05:36 --> 01:05:38 depends on
01:05:38 --> 01:05:41 what you envision your birth to be like
01:05:41 --> 01:05:44 Some people are the type of people where
01:05:44 --> 01:05:46 they need to be in a hospital Whether it
01:05:46 --> 01:05:48 be their anxiety whether it be that they
01:05:48 --> 01:05:51 are higher risk whether it be that they
01:05:51 --> 01:05:53 are having you know multiples or a
01:05:53 --> 01:05:56 medically fragile baby or so on and so
01:05:56 --> 01:05:57 forth Like there are some people that
01:05:57 --> 01:06:00 just desire to be in a hospital There
01:06:00 --> 01:06:03 are some people who set out knowing like
01:06:03 --> 01:06:06 I don't want all those interventions I
01:06:06 --> 01:06:08 have no interest in an epidural I have
01:06:08 --> 01:06:11 no interest in being you know strapped
01:06:11 --> 01:06:14 to a monitor for the entirety of my
01:06:14 --> 01:06:17 labor I have no interest in getting any
01:06:17 --> 01:06:19 medication such as ptocin or you know
01:06:19 --> 01:06:22 having uh vitamin K given in my baby or
01:06:22 --> 01:06:24 so on and so forth So those people may
01:06:24 --> 01:06:27 tend to look for a out of hospital
01:06:27 --> 01:06:30 midwife or want to do something called
01:06:30 --> 01:06:33 free birthing um which is where they
01:06:33 --> 01:06:35 pretty much educate themselves and they
01:06:36 --> 01:06:40 don't have a provider present Um and I
01:06:40 --> 01:06:43 mean that's their prerogative That's
01:06:43 --> 01:06:45 their choice
01:06:45 --> 01:06:47 Um and the people that do tend to do
01:06:47 --> 01:06:51 that tend to be highly educated you know
01:06:51 --> 01:06:54 But having a midwife is also great
01:06:54 --> 01:06:57 because we are trained for emergencies
01:06:57 --> 01:06:58 You know if there's a postpartum
01:06:58 --> 01:07:01 hemorrhage we know how to handle it And
01:07:01 --> 01:07:04 if it is beyond our scope then we're
01:07:04 --> 01:07:08 sending you you know to get help We're
01:07:08 --> 01:07:11 sending you to a hospital but it's a
01:07:11 --> 01:07:14 straight transfer as opposed to you
01:07:14 --> 01:07:17 having the baby bleeding at home on your
01:07:17 --> 01:07:19 own don't know what to do calling the
01:07:19 --> 01:07:23 the ambulance and like they're taking
01:07:23 --> 01:07:25 you wherever
01:07:25 --> 01:07:27 whether you want to go there or not
01:07:27 --> 01:07:29 because at that point it's an emergency
01:07:29 --> 01:07:31 Um
01:07:31 --> 01:07:35 so having a a midwife at home or in a
01:07:35 --> 01:07:37 birth center like they are medical
01:07:37 --> 01:07:41 professionals Mhm So they are trained to
01:07:41 --> 01:07:45 recognize when something is abnormal and
01:07:45 --> 01:07:47 either intervene
01:07:48 --> 01:07:51 or get you to a high level of care So
01:07:51 --> 01:07:53 I'm glad you mentioned that and also the
01:07:53 --> 01:07:55 fact the point that you made that um
01:07:55 --> 01:07:57 there's people who choose like the free
01:07:57 --> 01:07:59 birth that you mentioned are highly
01:07:59 --> 01:08:01 educated However sometimes even being
01:08:01 --> 01:08:03 highly educated highly educated you have
01:08:03 --> 01:08:05 to be mindful Absolutely For example I
01:08:05 --> 01:08:08 was listening to uh it wasn't a podcast
01:08:08 --> 01:08:10 I think it was like a presentation that
01:08:10 --> 01:08:13 this doctor was making and she confessed
01:08:13 --> 01:08:15 that she has never heard about a doula
01:08:15 --> 01:08:17 before And I'm like how you're a doctor
01:08:17 --> 01:08:19 you never heard about heard of a dueler
01:08:19 --> 01:08:21 you know Um so just because you're
01:08:21 --> 01:08:22 highly educated doesn't mean you know it
01:08:22 --> 01:08:24 all you know because a lot of time when
01:08:24 --> 01:08:26 you're highly educated your specialty is
01:08:26 --> 01:08:29 in one area So people who study other
01:08:29 --> 01:08:32 things then let them come and help you
01:08:32 --> 01:08:33 in the area that you lack or have
01:08:33 --> 01:08:37 deficiency in So very important and also
01:08:37 --> 01:08:39 the fact that that there was a doctor
01:08:39 --> 01:08:42 who said like I didn't know what a doula
01:08:42 --> 01:08:44 was That's not surprising It's really
01:08:44 --> 01:08:47 not because the role of Abdullah is the
01:08:48 --> 01:08:49 same role that our moms that our aunties
01:08:49 --> 01:08:52 that our grandmothers that our neighbors
01:08:52 --> 01:08:56 were filling those roles back in the day
01:08:56 --> 01:08:59 before our society and our culture
01:08:59 --> 01:09:02 changed to where like oh you're having a
01:09:02 --> 01:09:05 baby Great Go have your baby And then oh
01:09:05 --> 01:09:07 when are you going back to work when are
01:09:07 --> 01:09:10 you getting back in shape you know um
01:09:10 --> 01:09:12 it's changed We used to have a village
01:09:12 --> 01:09:13 mentality
01:09:13 --> 01:09:17 don't have that village
01:09:17 --> 01:09:20 anymore you
01:09:20 --> 01:09:23 know that's why postpartum is so
01:09:23 --> 01:09:26 important and having the village
01:09:26 --> 01:09:28 somebody to lean on somebody to talk to
01:09:28 --> 01:09:31 somebody to come in and help Yeah All
01:09:31 --> 01:09:33 right Well thank you And I also really
01:09:33 --> 01:09:36 do appreciate you taking on the task to
01:09:36 --> 01:09:38 um be a midwife I know you're a student
01:09:38 --> 01:09:42 now um what challenges have you
01:09:42 --> 01:09:45 experienced or um and I also want you to
01:09:45 --> 01:09:49 talk about the cost because um and just
01:09:49 --> 01:09:51 why isn't it prevalent anymore at all
01:09:51 --> 01:09:53 what and what do we need to do as a
01:09:53 --> 01:09:55 society to get people you know to dive
01:09:56 --> 01:09:59 into that um field um so I got into
01:09:59 --> 01:10:04 midwiffrey because I always wanted to be
01:10:04 --> 01:10:07 in like labor and delivery dealing with
01:10:07 --> 01:10:09 pregnancy and moms even from a young age
01:10:09 --> 01:10:13 I had the plan of becoming an OB but I
01:10:13 --> 01:10:16 started having my own family and you
01:10:16 --> 01:10:19 know med school is expensive It's very
01:10:19 --> 01:10:23 expensive and timeconsuming So it was
01:10:23 --> 01:10:27 not a realistic goal for me as a young
01:10:27 --> 01:10:31 mom as a somebody who's in their
01:10:31 --> 01:10:33 reproductive years growing their family
01:10:33 --> 01:10:37 It wasn't realistic for me Um so I
01:10:37 --> 01:10:41 turned to nursing Um and when my first
01:10:41 --> 01:10:42 daughter
01:10:42 --> 01:10:46 was one one and a half she's about to be
01:10:46 --> 01:10:50 18 now soon Um I went to nursing school
01:10:50 --> 01:10:52 I did an accelerator program and I got
01:10:52 --> 01:10:55 my LPN which is a licensed practical
01:10:55 --> 01:10:58 nurse Um I had the idea and the goal
01:10:58 --> 01:11:00 like okay I'm going to now that I have
01:11:00 --> 01:11:03 my LPN you know mostly at least where I
01:11:04 --> 01:11:06 lived I lived in Jersey LPNs were not in
01:11:06 --> 01:11:09 the hospital So I knew like okay I can't
01:11:09 --> 01:11:12 use this to go into the hospital and
01:11:12 --> 01:11:14 follow my goal I'm going to get my RN
01:11:14 --> 01:11:16 get into the hospital let them pay for
01:11:16 --> 01:11:19 me to go to med school and then boom you
01:11:19 --> 01:11:21 know student loans paid I don't have to
01:11:21 --> 01:11:25 worry about you know loan Really it it's
01:11:25 --> 01:11:28 that's a huge thing of course Um but as
01:11:28 --> 01:11:32 I said I was growing my family It med
01:11:32 --> 01:11:34 school was not in the cards So I worked
01:11:34 --> 01:11:37 in pediatric home care for a while Um
01:11:37 --> 01:11:39 and I I juggled back and forth for a
01:11:40 --> 01:11:43 while as far as okay I know that this is
01:11:43 --> 01:11:44 what I want to do and I know I could be
01:11:44 --> 01:11:48 a midwife but what type so I juggled for
01:11:48 --> 01:11:50 a long time as far as what type I wanted
01:11:50 --> 01:11:53 to be Um and it wasn't until we moved to
01:11:53 --> 01:11:56 Delaware at the tail end of 2017 and I
01:11:56 --> 01:11:59 was pregnant with my first son at that
01:11:59 --> 01:12:02 point um and experiencing the maternal
01:12:02 --> 01:12:05 care here and then my outcome with his
01:12:05 --> 01:12:08 birth uh where he ended up accidentally
01:12:08 --> 01:12:12 being born at home and wow Yeah And
01:12:12 --> 01:12:14 that's a whole story in and of itself
01:12:14 --> 01:12:16 that I'm a yapper We don't have time for
01:12:16 --> 01:12:22 that Um but my experience with ha with
01:12:22 --> 01:12:24 not only navigating the maternal care
01:12:24 --> 01:12:27 system here and having to constantly
01:12:27 --> 01:12:30 fight and advocate for myself
01:12:30 --> 01:12:34 because I was quote unquote high risk
01:12:34 --> 01:12:37 when I really wasn't high risk Um
01:12:37 --> 01:12:40 because I had a prior C-section and
01:12:40 --> 01:12:41 they're like "Oh well you need another
01:12:41 --> 01:12:44 C-section." And I'm like "I've had two
01:12:44 --> 01:12:46 V-backs which is a vaginal birth after
01:12:46 --> 01:12:49 cescareian I'm not having a C-section
01:12:49 --> 01:12:52 like unnecessarily." Um and then like I
01:12:52 --> 01:12:55 said he was accidentally born at home
01:12:55 --> 01:12:57 The paramedics came to take me to the
01:12:57 --> 01:13:00 hospital because his father freaked out
01:13:00 --> 01:13:02 and called
01:13:02 --> 01:13:05 911 And the way that I was treated when
01:13:05 --> 01:13:09 we got to the hospital I was like "Yeah
01:13:09 --> 01:13:11 this is not for me I do not want to be
01:13:11 --> 01:13:13 in the hospital Even though I feel like
01:13:13 --> 01:13:17 I could make a huge difference there I
01:13:17 --> 01:13:19 don't want to be in that space That's
01:13:19 --> 01:13:23 not what I want to do." Um and my son
01:13:23 --> 01:13:26 was born August of 2018 Okay I was
01:13:26 --> 01:13:29 enrolled in Midwiffrey School by the
01:13:29 --> 01:13:33 time he was one In September of 2019 I
01:13:33 --> 01:13:36 started in Midwiffrey School And you
01:13:36 --> 01:13:39 know short of a little bit of a hiatus
01:13:39 --> 01:13:42 to have another baby I've been added and
01:13:42 --> 01:13:44 been in the field uh Midwiffrey field
01:13:44 --> 01:13:47 since then Um but some of the barriers
01:13:47 --> 01:13:50 that I face is like the really important
01:13:50 --> 01:13:53 thing finding a preceptor So somebody a
01:13:53 --> 01:13:56 midwife in the community to learn from
01:13:56 --> 01:14:00 There's not many in our state at all Um
01:14:00 --> 01:14:03 and the birth center was not an option
01:14:03 --> 01:14:06 because I was going for CPM There are no
01:14:06 --> 01:14:09 CPMs there The CNMs they they wouldn't
01:14:09 --> 01:14:12 do it The hospital was not an option
01:14:12 --> 01:14:15 because again they're CNMs And while
01:14:15 --> 01:14:18 while we can learn things from them they
01:14:18 --> 01:14:21 were not open to it Okay Um and then the
01:14:21 --> 01:14:24 midwives that are in our area there's
01:14:24 --> 01:14:27 not many so they're overworked Um
01:14:27 --> 01:14:30 they're traveling far far distances for
01:14:30 --> 01:14:34 clients Um and
01:14:34 --> 01:14:37 many of them have been at it for such a
01:14:37 --> 01:14:39 long time that they're starting to phase
01:14:39 --> 01:14:43 out So when I moved here there were 15
01:14:43 --> 01:14:44 uh midwives that were licensed in the
01:14:44 --> 01:14:46 state And I believe the last time that I
01:14:46 --> 01:14:50 checked it has dwindled down to five or
01:14:50 --> 01:14:54 six I believe that are still active Um
01:14:54 --> 01:14:56 but not all of them are taking students
01:14:56 --> 01:14:58 So you know if
01:14:58 --> 01:15:02 there's let's say 10 students who need a
01:15:02 --> 01:15:05 preceptor to learn from but only five or
01:15:05 --> 01:15:08 six are in the state still licensed and
01:15:08 --> 01:15:12 then maybe two want to take on students
01:15:12 --> 01:15:15 you know the other eight Yeah Right
01:15:15 --> 01:15:17 Where does that leave the other eight or
01:15:17 --> 01:15:19 even if they take multiple students well
01:15:19 --> 01:15:21 now it's going to take a little bit
01:15:21 --> 01:15:24 longer to for those students right to
01:15:24 --> 01:15:26 hit their numbers to come out and then
01:15:26 --> 01:15:30 be student I mean be midwives Um and
01:15:30 --> 01:15:33 then those midwives
01:15:33 --> 01:15:34 it's going to take a while before they
01:15:34 --> 01:15:37 hit a point where they can then take
01:15:37 --> 01:15:40 students Yeah That whole
01:15:40 --> 01:15:43 Wow Yeah And also um you mentioned
01:15:43 --> 01:15:46 before based on our conversation that um
01:15:46 --> 01:15:51 not all states um allow midway free Yeah
01:15:51 --> 01:15:54 Um do you think that's also a gap in the
01:15:54 --> 01:15:57 process absolutely Absolutely So just
01:15:57 --> 01:16:00 speaking just for our area um Delaware
01:16:00 --> 01:16:05 is licensed for midwiffrey So CPMs CNMs
01:16:05 --> 01:16:07 uh can be licensed in the state I
01:16:07 --> 01:16:10 believe CMS which are certified midwives
01:16:10 --> 01:16:14 and another way to be an advanced degree
01:16:14 --> 01:16:17 um without having the nursing degree Um
01:16:17 --> 01:16:19 I believe they're also able to be
01:16:19 --> 01:16:23 licensed in Delaware and Maryland Okay
01:16:23 --> 01:16:25 Um New Jersey as well but then
01:16:25 --> 01:16:27 Pennsylvania which is you know right
01:16:27 --> 01:16:30 over the line um CNMs can be licensed
01:16:30 --> 01:16:33 CPMs they have no legislature for They
01:16:33 --> 01:16:35 have no regulations for So they're
01:16:35 --> 01:16:37 what's called illegal But then you
01:16:37 --> 01:16:40 travel a little higher north to New York
01:16:40 --> 01:16:43 and CPMs are outlawed They're illegal So
01:16:43 --> 01:16:46 if you practice as a CPM in that state
01:16:46 --> 01:16:49 you can be prosecuted
01:16:49 --> 01:16:52 you know So CNM is allowed in all 50
01:16:52 --> 01:16:55 states legal like you can get certified
01:16:55 --> 01:16:56 and all that stuff when it comes to the
01:16:56 --> 01:17:00 other you know the CP are the pathways
01:17:00 --> 01:17:02 is just wanted to clarify that state to
01:17:02 --> 01:17:06 state and C and M is what you typically
01:17:06 --> 01:17:09 have in a hospital Absolutely Yes Very
01:17:09 --> 01:17:11 good All right So we're getting to the
01:17:11 --> 01:17:14 end here You're doing good Thank you sis
01:17:14 --> 01:17:18 Do you still have one to give us sis yes
01:17:18 --> 01:17:19 All righty We're hungry for this
01:17:19 --> 01:17:22 information All right So now in your
01:17:22 --> 01:17:25 opinion what steps should be taken to
01:17:25 --> 01:17:27 eliminate the existing disparities in
01:17:27 --> 01:17:30 maternal health care within the black
01:17:30 --> 01:17:33 community specifically or you
01:17:33 --> 01:17:38 know we have um in in the space they not
01:17:38 --> 01:17:41 like us They not like us Look okay I've
01:17:41 --> 01:17:43 been blasting that song because it is so
01:17:43 --> 01:17:46 true It rains true Yeah it does it There
01:17:46 --> 01:17:49 is something to be said about getting
01:17:49 --> 01:17:52 care from somebody who is culturally
01:17:52 --> 01:17:55 like you Competent Yeah And culturally
01:17:55 --> 01:17:57 competent And you're getting culturally
01:17:57 --> 01:18:01 congruent care Yeah With my first son
01:18:01 --> 01:18:04 Mhm When we got to the
01:18:04 --> 01:18:07 hospital I was seen by a white midwife
01:18:07 --> 01:18:09 who was very rough and acting like I was
01:18:09 --> 01:18:14 a failed home birth and very like
01:18:14 --> 01:18:16 disrespectful And that wasn't the case
01:18:16 --> 01:18:18 at all Like my placenta had not come out
01:18:18 --> 01:18:21 but it was right there So I wasn't
01:18:21 --> 01:18:23 hemorrhaging I wasn't you know there was
01:18:23 --> 01:18:26 nothing wrong Okay I only went to the
01:18:26 --> 01:18:30 hospital to plate my boyfriend and make
01:18:30 --> 01:18:34 sure that myself and my son were okay Um
01:18:34 --> 01:18:37 and I was treated as if like I hadn't
01:18:37 --> 01:18:39 done anything the whole pregnancy like I
01:18:39 --> 01:18:42 just was pregnant and then had the baby
01:18:42 --> 01:18:44 like oops Like and that wasn't what
01:18:44 --> 01:18:47 happened Um and she was very very rough
01:18:47 --> 01:18:51 I was arguing the entire time that we
01:18:51 --> 01:18:55 were there to let me out Like I'm I'm
01:18:55 --> 01:18:57 the patient here My son's not a patient
01:18:57 --> 01:18:59 So they call it You got to be careful
01:18:59 --> 01:19:02 with that cuz 302 is 302 for a reason
01:19:02 --> 01:19:05 Yeah They will definitely 72our you in
01:19:06 --> 01:19:08 this state with no hesitation Oh you're
01:19:08 --> 01:19:09 going to be
01:19:09 --> 01:19:13 belligerent 72 302 is you is the code
01:19:13 --> 01:19:18 302 and 302 Mhm Yeah I'm not surprised
01:19:18 --> 01:19:22 But I I did end up getting released like
01:19:22 --> 01:19:25 the next day but it took the one black
01:19:25 --> 01:19:29 midwife that worked there at the time um
01:19:29 --> 01:19:32 coming in seeing me and she was like oh
01:19:32 --> 01:19:34 sis you did not have to come And I was
01:19:34 --> 01:19:37 like I know I know And she was like "I'm
01:19:37 --> 01:19:40 going to sign." Like if they told me cuz
01:19:40 --> 01:19:43 she came in the afternoon and she said
01:19:43 --> 01:19:45 like "If they had told me that you were
01:19:45 --> 01:19:46 trying to get released I'd have been
01:19:46 --> 01:19:49 here this morning." But it it's that
01:19:49 --> 01:19:51 culturally congruent care I She
01:19:51 --> 01:19:54 recognized looking at me as an
01:19:54 --> 01:19:57 individual and not just generalizations
01:19:57 --> 01:19:59 that I didn't need to be there I was
01:19:59 --> 01:20:02 safe My my son was safe We were healthy
01:20:02 --> 01:20:04 You know there was nothing wrong And
01:20:04 --> 01:20:07 also the fact that we were at a hospital
01:20:07 --> 01:20:11 different from the OBGYn that I was
01:20:11 --> 01:20:13 seeing they didn't have access to my
01:20:13 --> 01:20:16 records which is a problem It's a huge
01:20:16 --> 01:20:17 problem
01:20:17 --> 01:20:21 Um because that also fed into their
01:20:21 --> 01:20:23 assumptions assumptions that I hadn't
01:20:23 --> 01:20:25 been getting care and you know that
01:20:25 --> 01:20:27 things could be wrong
01:20:27 --> 01:20:30 Yeah Yeah Facts Facts And also when I
01:20:30 --> 01:20:32 was doing some research back in the day
01:20:32 --> 01:20:34 I think I noticed that or uh found out
01:20:34 --> 01:20:37 some some information I found out um is
01:20:37 --> 01:20:38 that
01:20:39 --> 01:20:44 um 60 to 80% of the death were
01:20:44 --> 01:20:46 preventable Mhm
01:20:46 --> 01:20:48 um specifically speaking to certain
01:20:48 --> 01:20:51 states I think when they did the
01:20:51 --> 01:20:55 research to find out why um the death
01:20:55 --> 01:20:57 took place I think in the state of
01:20:57 --> 01:21:02 Atlanta it was 83 83% of the m mortality
01:21:02 --> 01:21:04 rate they had was preventable California
01:21:04 --> 01:21:09 was around that 80% also so it's like
01:21:09 --> 01:21:12 and I'm like looking like the reasons so
01:21:12 --> 01:21:15 mediocre like you know these are human
01:21:15 --> 01:21:17 lives human beings are talking about The
01:21:17 --> 01:21:19 reasons like you mentioned earlier are a
01:21:20 --> 01:21:22 lot of times black and brown women and
01:21:22 --> 01:21:24 birthing people are
01:21:24 --> 01:21:27 not human They're not being listened to
01:21:27 --> 01:21:30 We're still categorizing some of these
01:21:30 --> 01:21:33 books as three4s of the human So
01:21:34 --> 01:21:36 that's real And some doctors also like
01:21:36 --> 01:21:38 well not even just doctors Well and it's
01:21:38 --> 01:21:40 it's not sometimes it's not their fault
01:21:40 --> 01:21:42 I just feel like sometimes you know um
01:21:42 --> 01:21:45 doctors also need to be retrained on you
01:21:45 --> 01:21:49 know um racism and things like that But
01:21:49 --> 01:21:52 um some textbooks back in the day which
01:21:52 --> 01:21:53 they're actually slowly trying to get
01:21:53 --> 01:21:57 rid of actually teach doctors that black
01:21:57 --> 01:22:01 people are tolerate pain more than white
01:22:01 --> 01:22:03 people Thicker skin I literally still
01:22:03 --> 01:22:06 have thicker skin Have nursing textbooks
01:22:06 --> 01:22:08 still See what I'm talking about my
01:22:08 --> 01:22:13 training was in 2009 I think one book
01:22:13 --> 01:22:16 was recently revoked in 2017 We're
01:22:16 --> 01:22:17 talking about how many years ago But
01:22:17 --> 01:22:19 yeah that's some of the problems like
01:22:19 --> 01:22:20 some of these books textbooks needs to
01:22:20 --> 01:22:24 be need to be um re-reed and um you know
01:22:24 --> 01:22:27 just adjusted for the correct or right
01:22:27 --> 01:22:30 information Um yeah So very important
01:22:30 --> 01:22:33 that we have a wakeup call Right
01:22:33 --> 01:22:36 Absolutely so that we can stop this um
01:22:36 --> 01:22:37 death that is happening because this is
01:22:37 --> 01:22:40 a human life This a human being just
01:22:40 --> 01:22:43 passing away Um so thank you so much for
01:22:43 --> 01:22:44 that information and I'm just going to
01:22:44 --> 01:22:46 have a quick call to action I have few
01:22:46 --> 01:22:49 information here Um the conversation
01:22:49 --> 01:22:51 doesn't stop here and here are some ways
01:22:51 --> 01:22:54 you can uh take action You could also
01:22:54 --> 01:22:57 you could advocate for better maternal
01:22:57 --> 01:22:59 health policies support bills that
01:22:59 --> 01:23:01 improve access to black centered uh
01:23:01 --> 01:23:03 maternal
01:23:03 --> 01:23:06 care Connect with black women in power
01:23:06 --> 01:23:08 for community support and dueler
01:23:08 --> 01:23:11 services Share your story So thank you
01:23:11 --> 01:23:13 ladies for coming to share your stories
01:23:13 --> 01:23:15 today This is one way we're trying to um
01:23:15 --> 01:23:19 help uh the society Uh the more we speak
01:23:19 --> 01:23:21 out the harder it is for our struggles
01:23:21 --> 01:23:25 to be ignored uh attend Black Maternal
01:23:25 --> 01:23:27 Health Week events and educate yourself
01:23:27 --> 01:23:30 on issues impacting our community Also
01:23:30 --> 01:23:33 educate yourself on your body you know
01:23:33 --> 01:23:35 Know know what's going on like with you
01:23:35 --> 01:23:38 and try to you know um you know speak
01:23:38 --> 01:23:39 for yourself when you go to this
01:23:39 --> 01:23:41 appointments and sometimes when you go
01:23:41 --> 01:23:42 to appointment if you can't do it by
01:23:42 --> 01:23:44 yourself you know go with somebody It's
01:23:44 --> 01:23:45 actually highly recommended and I
01:23:45 --> 01:23:47 commend you You said you when you were
01:23:47 --> 01:23:49 going to when you went to the hospital
01:23:49 --> 01:23:51 you made sure somebody was there So even
01:23:51 --> 01:23:53 though you were sedated in your
01:23:53 --> 01:23:55 medication you want somebody to be able
01:23:55 --> 01:23:57 to see and speak for you when that time
01:23:57 --> 01:24:00 come when it was needed Yeah So very
01:24:00 --> 01:24:02 important Try to get an advocate in the
01:24:02 --> 01:24:06 process plan and everything Yeah
01:24:06 --> 01:24:09 Yeah So um Yeah So just so many we have
01:24:09 --> 01:24:13 work to do out there Um because if we
01:24:13 --> 01:24:16 don't talk about it or and take action
01:24:16 --> 01:24:18 it will be the same song over and over
01:24:18 --> 01:24:21 and over again no change So I want to
01:24:21 --> 01:24:23 thank you ladies um for just having the
01:24:23 --> 01:24:26 courage to show up today and provide us
01:24:26 --> 01:24:29 this wonderful information and insight
01:24:29 --> 01:24:31 different perspective to see things
01:24:31 --> 01:24:34 appreciate things and uh just a
01:24:34 --> 01:24:36 different view in life All right Uh
01:24:36 --> 01:24:38 thank you also for listening to the
01:24:38 --> 01:24:39 birth seed Everyone that has been
01:24:39 --> 01:24:41 listening if you've made it this
01:24:41 --> 01:24:46 far you're a soldier Thank you
01:24:46 --> 01:24:50 Please like and share our podcast The
01:24:50 --> 01:24:53 goal for just sitting down here and
01:24:53 --> 01:24:56 just searching for people with knowledge
01:24:56 --> 01:24:59 and information is to empower us and
01:24:59 --> 01:25:00 enrich us with the information that we
01:25:00 --> 01:25:03 need to grow better and thrive better in
01:25:03 --> 01:25:06 our society Um be sure again to follow
01:25:06 --> 01:25:09 us like and share on um social media
01:25:09 --> 01:25:13 Until next time take care Remember you
01:25:13 --> 01:25:17 deserve great care respect support at
01:25:17 --> 01:25:21 every stage of your motherhood journey
01:25:21 --> 01:25:24 Thank you for tuning in and thank you
01:25:24 --> 01:25:27 also to the Black Black Network for
01:25:28 --> 01:25:31 supporting and just sharing our content
01:25:31 --> 01:25:33 Thank you Until next time have a
01:25:33 --> 01:25:35 wonderful day It's your girl Ly McKenzie
01:25:35 --> 01:25:38 Bye
01:25:38 --> 01:25:43 [Music]
Related Episodes
The Birth Seat Ep 2: The Legacy and Power of Doula Work
In this episode of The Birth Seat, we explore the profound legacy and critical importance of doula work, particularly in Black communities. We’ll dive into the history of doulas as sacred birth workers, highlighting their role as advocates and caregivers who have long ensured safer, more empowered b...
The Birth Seat Ep 1- Breaking the Cycle: Empowering Teens to Recognize and Prevent Dating Violence
In this powerful episode of The Birth Seat: Our Heritage, Our Legacy, we address the critical issue of teen domestic violence, an often-overlooked topic with alarming statistics showing that 1 in 3 teens in the U.S. experience abuse in their relationships. We explore the signs, risks, and long-term ...