What do you get when you mix an estate sale gone wrong, a fake hit-and-run accusation, and a woman trying to pack her entire life to move abroad? A chaotic cocktail called my week.
In this episode, I’m spilling all the tea on the madness that’s unfolded as I prepare to move to Panama. From estate sale bandits who stole my $600 makeup kit and my dog’s treats — yes, the dog treats — to the scammer who tried to take me to court over an accident that never happened… It’s been one wild ride.
But through it all, I’m finding the humor, the lessons, and the peace (right after I file a little paperwork for that false report 👀).
Tune in as I unpack the drama before I pack for paradise — because sometimes, your journey to peace starts with a little chaos, a lot of coffee, and a few side-eyes.
🎧 Grab your headphones, your sense of humor, and maybe your prayer oil — it’s story time.
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00:00:02 --> 00:00:05 Okay y'all it's been a minute i know
00:00:05 --> 00:00:08 i know i didn't drop an episode last week but
00:00:08 --> 00:00:11 before y'all revoke my podcast host card let me
00:00:11 --> 00:00:14 explain life has been lifing to the 25th
00:00:14 --> 00:00:19 power between packing up my entire house prepping to move across international
00:00:19 --> 00:00:25 waters and apparently starting my own lifetime drama i've had a week so grab
00:00:25 --> 00:00:30 your coffee or your wine no judgment because I'm about to fill you in on this
00:00:30 --> 00:00:32 circus called My Life Before Panama.
00:00:43 --> 00:00:48 Talk to me in the shadow On the streetlights on the corner,
00:00:51 --> 00:00:56 City vibes got a story Feel the beat, don't ignore me.
00:01:00 --> 00:01:03 So, you know how moving across town is stressful?
00:01:04 --> 00:01:09 Multiply that by 10. Add customs paperwork, background checks,
00:01:09 --> 00:01:12 and FBI fingerprints, and boom, that's me.
00:01:13 --> 00:01:17 Moving abroad isn't a rent a U-Haul. Toss your boxes in the back.
00:01:17 --> 00:01:22 Hit the road. No, ma'am, this is a full-time project with government paperwork
00:01:22 --> 00:01:23 and emotional damage included.
00:01:24 --> 00:01:30 I've got passports, medical records, and half my house is in boxes. The other half in chaos.
00:01:30 --> 00:01:34 I'm walking around like a contestant of Hoarders, Expat Edition.
00:01:34 --> 00:01:39 Every drawer I open has me asking, do I pack this, sell this,
00:01:39 --> 00:01:41 or burn this as a cleansing ritual?
00:01:42 --> 00:01:45 Now let's talk about this estate sale we hosted, because baby,
00:01:45 --> 00:01:47 it was giving I wish I had hired somebody else.
00:01:48 --> 00:01:53 They showed up late, like after work rush hour late, to start taking inventory.
00:01:53 --> 00:01:59 At that hour, I'm usually taking off my bra and talking to God about why I didn't win the lottery.
00:01:59 --> 00:02:03 But no, here come these people wanting to move furniture and price tags.
00:02:04 --> 00:02:09 And during the sale, they had no crowd control. Only three workers in a two-story
00:02:09 --> 00:02:13 house full of strangers, rummaging like it was a Black Friday at Walmart.
00:02:13 --> 00:02:17 Someone stole my entire $600 makeup case, y'all. My makeup.
00:02:18 --> 00:02:22 Y'all know that's personal. That's like stealing someone's diary and their self-esteem at once.
00:02:23 --> 00:02:29 Another person stole a plant out the pot because they didn't want to pay for the clay pot it came in.
00:02:29 --> 00:02:34 Sir, you really went home holding a naked plant like it was normal behavior?
00:02:34 --> 00:02:39 Someone even took the dog treats. Like at that point, I was ready to just hand
00:02:39 --> 00:02:41 out blessing oil and call it a day.
00:02:41 --> 00:02:47 So yeah, the estate sale didn't quite sell the estate. It just sold my patience.
00:02:47 --> 00:02:51 Now, on top of all that madness, I had to deal with criminal court.
00:02:51 --> 00:02:57 Yes, you heard that correctly. criminal court, had to go to court over an imaginary hit and run.
00:02:57 --> 00:03:00 Let me explain before somebody starts Googling my mugshot.
00:03:01 --> 00:03:06 I was driving Uber. I picked up three nice young ladies and this man was in
00:03:06 --> 00:03:08 front of me stalling at the light.
00:03:08 --> 00:03:12 I go around him and the light turns red anyway. The next thing I know,
00:03:12 --> 00:03:14 he's knocking on my window accusing me of hitting his car.
00:03:15 --> 00:03:20 Now, mind you, there's no bump, no scratch, no nothing. His car already looked
00:03:20 --> 00:03:22 like it had survived a demolition Derby.
00:03:22 --> 00:03:25 Now, instead of calling the police like a normal scammer would,
00:03:25 --> 00:03:30 he decides to follow me and my passengers for 16 miles.
00:03:31 --> 00:03:35 This man tailed me like I owed him child support. And every time he even got
00:03:35 --> 00:03:38 close to my car, he was giving me this evil stare.
00:03:39 --> 00:03:41 So needless to say, me and my passengers were terrified.
00:03:42 --> 00:03:47 Now, a few days later, the insurance company calls me like, we got a claim you hit someone and fled.
00:03:47 --> 00:03:50 I said, hit who? When?
00:03:50 --> 00:03:53 Because my car is cleaner than
00:03:53 --> 00:03:57 my credit report right now. After the investigation, the claim was denied.
00:03:58 --> 00:04:03 Fraud, done. But six months later, this man files criminal charges for failure
00:04:03 --> 00:04:05 to stop and exchange information.
00:04:05 --> 00:04:09 Sir, how are you exchanging information for an incident that never existed?
00:04:09 --> 00:04:12 I had to hire are attorneys who acted like they needed a lawyer.
00:04:12 --> 00:04:16 I gave them all the receipts, witness statements, insurance letters,
00:04:16 --> 00:04:17 screenshots, you name it.
00:04:17 --> 00:04:21 By the time court day came, my lawyer walks in late.
00:04:21 --> 00:04:25 I was this close to just representing myself and saying, your honor,
00:04:25 --> 00:04:27 he's a damn lie, case closed.
00:04:28 --> 00:04:32 Long story short, charges dismissed. Fraud dude exposed.
00:04:33 --> 00:04:37 And yes, I plan on returning the favor. If you file false reports and waste
00:04:37 --> 00:04:39 my peace, I'm filing right back.
00:04:39 --> 00:04:41 Call it Justice by Michelle.
00:04:42 --> 00:04:46 So between the estate sale robbers, the scammer on wheels, and prepping for
00:04:46 --> 00:04:49 Panama, I've learned that peace isn't cheap.
00:04:50 --> 00:04:56 Protecting your peace will cost you time, sanity, and sometimes a good $600 makeup case.
00:04:56 --> 00:04:59 This season of my life is testing everything.
00:04:59 --> 00:05:04 Patience, faith, organization, and whether I can live off coffee and prayer alone.
00:05:05 --> 00:05:10 But I know what's coming next. Peace, purpose, and palm trees.
00:05:11 --> 00:05:15 So that's my chaos update. Don't worry, the next episode we're talking about
00:05:15 --> 00:05:19 what it really takes to move abroad and not to lose your mind with your MAC
00:05:19 --> 00:05:20 foundation and process.
00:05:20 --> 00:05:25 If you vibe this story, hit subscribe, share this episode with your favorite
00:05:25 --> 00:05:28 stressed out friend and follow me on all platforms at Talk To Me Michelle.
00:05:28 --> 00:05:35 And if you see somebody selling a random plant or a makeup kit on Facebook Marketplace, it might be mine.
00:05:41 --> 00:05:41 Bye.